00:00:01
are you happy all the time if not why
00:00:04
not if so why spirit is where all comes
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from right it's the spirit of your high
00:00:10
your soul the spirit of your heart that
00:00:12
makes you happy it's not the external
00:00:14
things as we all know and yet most of
00:00:16
our society gears us up for all the
00:00:18
externals and when the externals don't
00:00:20
work out so well or when we're in a
00:00:22
winter or challenging time sometimes
00:00:24
that happiness
00:00:27
disappears a fulfilling life is a
00:00:29
meaningful life
00:00:30
doesn't feel happy every moment but it
00:00:33
can be meaningful every moment and
00:00:35
happiness is a habit and it's one that
00:00:37
we don't value as much but how great is
00:00:39
life if you achieve everything you want
00:00:41
and you're not happy not very when I did
00:00:45
money Master the game I interviewed
00:00:46
these billionaires one after another
00:00:48
after another 50 of them all self-made
00:00:51
so it wasn't people that were spoiled or
00:00:53
somebody just gave them what they had
00:00:55
but they're probably four of them it's
00:00:57
just my judgment I can be wrong that are
00:00:59
really happy people and they have
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everything they could have ever dreamed
00:01:03
with times 10 or 20 or 100 or thousand
00:01:06
and so the secret really you've heard us
00:01:08
talk before about beautiful state when
00:01:10
you get in certain States you think one
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thought when you get other states you
00:01:13
think another thought it's like turning
00:01:14
the channel and so what I really show
00:01:16
people in the book how to do is how to
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turn the channel so that you're not
00:01:19
suffering and you're living in a
00:01:20
beautiful state because there isn't
00:01:22
anything more important and because of
00:01:24
the times we're in it's even more
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important Good Times make weak people
00:01:29
weak people people make tough times
00:01:31
tough times make strong people and
00:01:34
strong people make good time but you got
00:01:37
to be strong internally so you can enjoy
00:01:39
yourself could you enjoy yourself in the
00:01:41
middle of winter me for years talking
00:01:43
about prepare Winter's coming well
00:01:44
Winter's here but we're not through it
00:01:47
and the worst part the more challenging
00:01:48
parts of winter still are coming and
00:01:50
this season called winter we all
00:01:52
experience that you've had Winters in
00:01:54
your emotions you have Winters in your
00:01:55
relationships but this type of external
00:01:57
winter is much more intense external
00:02:00
which means if you don't manage the
00:02:02
inside it's going to be a rough rough
00:02:04
road but if you manage the inside it can
00:02:05
be the most beautiful time of your
00:02:09
life so I'm not here to say be happy
00:02:11
happy happy just positive thinking I'm
00:02:13
here to say this is not only a survival
00:02:16
but a thriving tool this is the tool
00:02:18
this week you want to really envelop
00:02:20
yourself this is the time to recharge to
00:02:22
re-engineer yourself because if you
00:02:24
think about it if you and I going to run
00:02:25
a race you're going to go like a Baja
00:02:27
race they go a thousand miles across the
00:02:29
desert and you take your beautiful
00:02:30
Mercedes to do that it ain't going to
00:02:33
work Mercedes is expensive car it's a
00:02:35
beautiful car it's a well-made car it'll
00:02:37
be destroyed in that race you will not
00:02:38
finish the race you have to have it be
00:02:40
adapted re-engineered to go a thousand
00:02:43
miles in the
00:02:45
desert and I'm suggesting to you this
00:02:48
idea of fulfillment this idea of being
00:02:51
able to find happiness or even Joy it'll
00:02:55
start with acceptance accepting the
00:02:57
things we can't change knowing the
00:03:00
things we can and doing something about
00:03:01
it it's very different but there are
00:03:02
certain things you can't change
00:03:04
otherwise you're going to be miserable
00:03:05
all the time and once you get to
00:03:07
acceptance you can find appreciation and
00:03:09
once you find appreciation you can start
00:03:10
to find something to actually Perhaps
00:03:13
Love or enjoy or be grateful for and the
00:03:17
more we do that we develop these habits
00:03:20
then in the middle of winter you're
00:03:21
going to have a killer time and more
00:03:23
importantly your state will envelop the
00:03:25
people you love your state will be the
00:03:27
leader you will drive the state by your
00:03:30
example cuz it'll be so
00:03:31
rare there's lots of different kinds of
00:03:34
happiness you can have Rockstar
00:03:35
happiness you all know what that is
00:03:36
that's just pure pleasure you get what
00:03:39
you want that's Rockstar happiness how
00:03:41
long does it
00:03:43
last you get what you want you're so
00:03:45
excited you get it how long you excited
00:03:47
how long you happy 10 years from that
00:03:50
moment a year 6 months few hours it's
00:03:54
nice what's the second kind of Happiness
00:03:57
passion happiness passion happiness is
00:03:59
flow that's when you're doing something
00:04:01
and you
00:04:02
disappear it's when you do something you
00:04:04
love and you disappear you're doing
00:04:06
something for your family your kids or
00:04:08
your work or something and you're so
00:04:10
into it that just you're in this Flow
00:04:12
State that's a beautiful beautiful form
00:04:14
of happiness and you can have that in
00:04:16
any season but then there's a higher
00:04:18
level of happiness that has greater
00:04:19
duration and that's purpose happiness
00:04:21
when you feel like you've got a purpose
00:04:23
Beyond yourself when you're trying to
00:04:26
serve something Beyond yourself you
00:04:27
won't be worried about winter so much
00:04:29
it's like someone have someone dies in
00:04:31
the family and a bunch of people go into
00:04:33
grief and one person they don't seem to
00:04:35
go in as much grief cuz they're busy
00:04:36
taking care of everybody
00:04:38
else as a result they find the they find
00:04:40
the strength because they're here to
00:04:41
serve something more than themselves and
00:04:43
because relationship is the ultimate
00:04:45
happiness and it's friendships that are
00:04:47
not happiness it's your children it's
00:04:48
your family it's your spouse it's your
00:04:50
lover all of those is where the deepest
00:04:53
longlasting happiness comes from make
00:04:55
sure you have all types of Happiness
00:04:57
available too you can play with them all
00:04:58
but make sure that purpose happiness
00:05:00
gets expanded so a question that has to
00:05:03
come up is what gets in the way of
00:05:06
happiness is happiness something that we
00:05:09
have
00:05:10
naturally so a question that has to come
00:05:13
up is what gets in the way of happiness
00:05:16
is happiness something that we have
00:05:17
naturally we can choose happiness
00:05:21
because it is a choice you do not
00:05:22
experience life you experience the life
00:05:24
you focus on all you got to do is turn
00:05:26
on the news and you can get really nuts
00:05:28
but then the things that tend to make me
00:05:31
nuts are the things I can't control and
00:05:32
so what I've wanted to do is to figure
00:05:34
out what I can do about it what I can't
00:05:37
there has to be something deeper that
00:05:38
makes you believe there's something more
00:05:41
if you don't when times get really rough
00:05:43
unless you have some kind of spiritual
00:05:44
belief there's something you believe in
00:05:46
more than yourself God a universe that's
00:05:49
somehow has a higher purpose to guide
00:05:51
you then there going to be times in this
00:05:54
coming winter where you're really going
00:05:56
to suffer unless you can have a trust in
00:05:58
something larger than yourself is
00:06:00
guiding and that good will come from
00:06:01
this and my experience because I'm a
00:06:04
student of history is regardless of
00:06:05
anything else that gives me even more
00:06:07
faith it always does we throw the
00:06:09
pendulum so far and when you get pushed
00:06:12
far enough it finds its balance that's
00:06:14
history and so we're not going to be
00:06:15
stuck here forever but we got to make
00:06:17
sure we enjoy this trip along the way
00:06:19
while we're here and we all as humans
00:06:22
have a negative bias meaning our nervous
00:06:24
system from 2 million years ago has
00:06:26
wired us to look for and avoid anything
00:06:29
a give significant pain we're going to
00:06:30
either fight it or we're going to run
00:06:32
from it or we're going to freeze and
00:06:35
that 2 milon part of your brain that
00:06:37
survival part of your brain has not gone
00:06:38
away and never will it's not designed to
00:06:40
make you happy it's designed to make you
00:06:42
survive so just think about it's what I
00:06:44
focus on and it's number two the meaning
00:06:47
I give it cuz out of that I'm going to
00:06:49
have certain emotions I'm going to take
00:06:51
certain actions and it all depends on
00:06:52
what you focus on you could be totally
00:06:54
depressed in this moment or you could be
00:06:55
totally excited so it's a choice but
00:06:58
then the question you got to ask
00:06:59
yourself is what's my habit where do I
00:07:02
spend more of that time and it doesn't
00:07:04
take a lot of time on the negative bias
00:07:07
since it's natural for the brain for it
00:07:09
to start to come overloaded where you
00:07:11
stack so many
00:07:12
things most people are doing a negative
00:07:15
flood almost every single day and it
00:07:16
doesn't matter how smart you are cuz
00:07:18
today the acceleration of the negative
00:07:20
by nature in Winter there is more
00:07:24
attitude of negativity regardless of the
00:07:26
activity it just becomes the standard
00:07:30
I must understand where the world is not
00:07:32
just where my world is the biggest thing
00:07:34
that creates stress is we're expecting
00:07:36
people to behave a certain way to treat
00:07:38
us a certain way to talk a certain way
00:07:40
to love a certain way but even the ones
00:07:43
closest to you have their own model of
00:07:44
the world and unhappiness can be defined
00:07:47
as having expectations that others are
00:07:49
going to live respond and react the way
00:07:52
you want them to if there's a secret to
00:07:54
beautiful state it's giving up that
00:07:56
thought that anyone has to do things a
00:07:59
certain way way for you to be
00:08:02
happy as long as your husband your wife
00:08:05
your boyfriend your girlfriend your kids
00:08:07
your parents your co-workers your
00:08:10
Associates your employees have to behave
00:08:12
a certain way for you to be happy you
00:08:13
will not be happy cuz let me tell you
00:08:15
what people are going to do people are
00:08:16
going to do what they
00:08:18
do I'm not disappointed anymore I know
00:08:20
people are going to do things I know
00:08:21
people are going to betray and then I
00:08:23
find softer language from it they're
00:08:25
going to not keep their word I know
00:08:27
people are going to say one thing and do
00:08:29
another people are going to lie I know
00:08:31
good people are going to make dumb
00:08:32
mistakes including me so as long as I
00:08:35
know that I don't have an expectation
00:08:37
all of your happiness is destroyed by
00:08:39
your expectations some of you know your
00:08:42
expectations many of you are unaware of
00:08:44
your expectations you just think that's
00:08:46
what life is supposed to be like and
00:08:48
when it doesn't match you're
00:08:50
mad it's really the conflicts of how we
00:08:53
think it's supposed to be so our
00:08:55
happiness the only way to have our
00:08:56
happiness long term is to have
00:08:58
expectations that are authentic and
00:09:00
here's the authentic expectation people
00:09:02
are going to do what they're going to do
00:09:03
and it's not going to be what you expect
00:09:04
a good deal of the time it's not going
00:09:06
to be what they promise and you can be
00:09:07
pissed off and moralistic and you can
00:09:09
judge them and feel better about
00:09:10
yourself but that's not going to make
00:09:11
you one miserable person
