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Every INFJ gets to a place where
they know I'm done playing nice,
00:00:03
I'm done playing the giver,
I'm done playing the healer,
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I'm done playing the Marty.
00:00:09
And that's the time when we
enter our INFJ villain era.
00:00:13
And I've had so many comments that
said to me, if I have to be a villain,
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I don't want it. I wanna
maintain my pure heart,
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I wanna stay a good
person. But the truth is,
00:00:23
if you're not willing to actually
incorporate that will inside of yours,
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you cannot be a good person. You're
going to get taken advantage of.
00:00:31
You're not going to have any energy
left to give to other people.
00:00:35
And on top of that,
00:00:37
you will always be at the mercy
of what other people think of you.
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Because being the villain in
99.9% of the cases for an INFJ
00:00:46
means you're going to be the villain in
somebody else's story. And in order to
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be okay with that, we have to embrace it.
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We have to be okay with seeing ourselves
as the bad guy and knowing that
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this is not something we should shy
away from. It's part of who we are.
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If you look at a king archetype, which
we don't use very often as I of Chase,
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but let's just look at
it for this example.
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A king is somebody who is generous,
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who's kind because there's a
part of him who can lash out if
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need be. This is not somebody you push
around. This is not somebody who's weak.
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That is somebody who will become
the villain in somebody else's story
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if they have to. They don't come
across as somebody who's always kind,
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always giving,
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always a martyr and somebody
who's just selfless all the time.
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So it's about time that we recognize
that being a villain is not something to
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shy away of. It's something that
we have to embrace in who we are.
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Be okay with it, play with it.
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Like just embrace it in any kind
of way. And you're going to see,
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you're going to feel so much better about
it and you're going to finally accept
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yourself not as this
idealized version of yourself,
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but as a true human being.
Because like everything,
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we like to idealize also
who we want to be. We can,
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you know, have this ideal
version of being superhuman.
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But at the end of the day, we're
not. We're humans with emotions.
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We're humans who have
boundaries, who will get crossed.
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And we also have to learn to
bite back if the world bites us.
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So let's talk about five signs that
you've entered your villain era and you've
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finally accepted it. So please
stop with the comments of,
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I don't wanna be a villain.
It's not going to make you a bad person,
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it's not about revenge, it's none of that.
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But you have to be okay with being
the villain in somebody else's story.
00:02:38
Before we get started, I wanna remind
you, if you haven't done this so far,
00:02:41
to download the free
poster on the INFJ Mastery.
00:02:44
If you wanna take to the next level, tap
into your highest version of yourself,
00:02:48
either get the INFJ Epic Life Audio Guide,
00:02:51
this is what you can
do by yourself at home,
00:02:53
or you can join our amazing community in
bootcamp. We also have a payment plan.
00:02:58
Our next live call will be
the last Saturday in March,
00:03:01
and we will tap into prosperity for INFJ.
00:03:04
We all know this is something we all
need right now 'cause we don't wanna give
00:03:08
up who we are in order to feel safe in
the world. Everything you need to know
00:03:11
you can find through the
links in the description sign.
00:03:14
Number one that you've tapped into your
INFJ villain origin story is that you've
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stopped making yourself smaller
for other people's comforts.
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I don't care who you are, I don't care
how much you wanna help another person,
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you should never make yourself
smaller in order to make another
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person feel good. That does not mean
you cannot treat people with respect.
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That does not mean that
you can show appreciation,
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but you're not going to
step out of integrity.
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You're not going to pretend you're
weaker than you actually are.
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You're not gonna let them think that they
can get away with things that are not
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acceptable for you. And I know
that this is a big step for us.
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It was a huge step for me. It
was really a paradigm shift.
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Once I understood if I show people,
even if I show this one person only,
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that I'm actually stronger than I am,
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that I have sovereign energy
and I can stay on my path,
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and that I'm really independent,
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like in a sense of I really don't need
social validation like most people
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do in that kind of sense.
Like once I show this to one person,
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everything is done. 'cause then
my entire identity will shift.
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My entire identity will be based on, well,
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I have to deal with the fact that if
I show people that this is who I am,
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they're not going to feel
that comfortable around me.
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They're not going to protect me.
They're not going to, you know,
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feel like they can be open with me
because they will start seeing me as a
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threat. They will start seeing
me as a threat to their ego.
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They will see me as a mirror that
represents everything that they don't like
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about themselves. So all the
things that I have, you know,
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try to avoid my entire life. Because
for me, psychologically speaking,
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starting from early childhood on
this was equivalent with abandonment.
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If I show people all that I am,
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I will get abandoned because I will not
create the connection that was based
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on me making myself smaller in
order to comfort the other person.
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The more we stand in our power, the
more we're going to trigger people.
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But if you stand in your power that much
that you don't care that other people
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think that you're selfish, that
other people think you're mean,
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that other people think
that you have no morality,
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but you know that you're doing this,
that are in alignment with who you are,
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you are making sure that the things
that are most important in your life are
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taken care of.
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You are showing up as the version
of yourself that you want to be.
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And that means that even
if you want to help people,
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you're not going to do that if they
are not treating you with respect.
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And in order to do that,
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we have to be willing for other people
to see how strong we actually are and to
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really allow time to show that story
that this is not something that you do
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until other people get it. But that you
bet on yourself and you bet your life on
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this. Because you know the
alternative is no choice anymore.
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I have to embrace the fact that
people might see me as a threat.
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I have to embrace the fact that
people might not wanna be around me.
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And this is a price I'm willing to pay
in order to allow myself to be everything
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that I am because this is a
non-negotiable for me. Sign number two,
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you don't overexplain
your decisions anymore.
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So this is something I have learned
to do over a long period of time.
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And you'll see this particularly with
people that are close in your life that
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may want to protect you, that may, you
know, see the world differently than you,
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which they do of course. But so often we,
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when we have any doubts,
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we share our doubts with people
who just enable those doubts,
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who double down on them,
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who make us feel like the way we
want to live life is wrong. And this
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is something we have to stop doing.
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Like I know that we want to
open up to people, you know,
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sometimes we don't wanna be always
the one who takes care of other people
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emotionally. We,
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we also want the people around us to
take care of ourselves emotionally when
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we don't have the strength
to stand on our own.
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But if you open yourself and you explain
yourself to people who don't get it,
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who will you know, just talk down to
you, just take it as a lesson. Lord,
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we do this once. We don't do this twice.
You know, fool me once, shame on you,
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fool me twice, shame on me. So understand,
we're not overexplaining ourselves,
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we taking action. See, that's
what the bootcamp is all about.
00:07:30
That's what the audio guide is all
about, is IN fjs our, you know,
00:07:34
evolution starts when we start taking
action in the real world. When we really
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take all that is in our mind, in
our intuition, in our third eye,
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or however you wanna call it,
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everything that we see in this
idealized version of ourselves,
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and we actually start using this as a
guideline of what we're going to do in the
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real world. I always say, what
if it never got any better?
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What if this was your reality forever?
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This is the apartment you're living
in until the rest of your life.
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This is the family situation that
you have. These are the friends,
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this is your job. This is
what you do for your purpose.
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How are you going to deal with that? As
I chase, we so often use our, you know,
00:08:10
intuition as a way to escape,
but we're not doing this anymore.
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And when you stop explaining yourself,
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there is always this combination with
taking action. We will tend to want to
00:08:22
explain ourselves and
overexplain ourselves if we
don't want to take action on
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it. So for example, I know
how things could work out.
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I know how things could develop and
that's why I'm doing this or that's why I
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wanna do this. And you want another
person to validate your idea,
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but the only way they can really validate
that is if you take action on it.
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So if somebody says, I don't
believe what you're doing,
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I don't know what's going on. Like
you are delusional. Let them see it.
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You have to bet on
yourself. You have to say,
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I will go down my path
and I will take action.
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I will accept reality as it is, and
I'll use my intuition as a north star.
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I'm not going to explain myself,
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you are not going to get it anyways if
I explain it. But what you will get is
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the results that I create. That's
why we always talk about in bootcamp,
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about externally observable
facts. We need that.
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We need to incorporate a little bit of
the extroverted thinking aspect in order
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to ground ourselves, in order to say,
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this is not just how I feel
inside. How things you know,
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like really move energetically. No,
these are facts. I send out that resume.
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I had that hard conversation with that
person and set that boundary and said
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no more. I started writing on that book.
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I published my poem on Instagram
like I did this. This is a fact.
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This is an externally observable
fact. And I'll not explain myself.
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I will let my results show who I am.
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I will let the way my life unfolds
be an explanation of who I am and
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everybody can interpret it the way they
want. But I will take action based on
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what I think is right for me. And
people will get it or they won't.
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But no matter how much you explain
yourself, they will not get it anyway.
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They will only get it through their
own lens. And if they want to look.
00:10:09
So stop over explaining yourself.
And once you've done that,
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you know that's a great sign.
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You've actually entered your NFJ
villain origin story sign number three.
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You've learned the art of walking away.
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And there's this notion of is
it silently or not? Is INFJ?
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We want to walk away silently,
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but what we do actually is we stay
energetically present. But being silent,
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meaning we allow other
people to do what they want,
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but we're still witnessing that.
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We have to understand that it's not
just about walking away silently,
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it's also about making a statement.
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And a statement is done through action.
Walking away is something that we do
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through action. It's not that we
don't voice our opinions anymore.
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We all know that we've done that.
People actually will bully us more.
00:10:54
They will think they can take
advantage of us even more.
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They will think we're weak just
because we stay silent sometimes.
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We have to let people know,
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this is what I'm capable of
and I'm taking that action.
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I'm not just talking this and
I'm also not staying silent.
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I will go on my path. And if you are
trying to emotionally manipulate me,
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if you still try to treat me
like I'm weaker than I am,
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I'm less than I am, or I'm in
some way less than you are,
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then they will be a reaction.
00:11:23
It's not just I'm going to allow
them to stay in that thought.
00:11:26
Like you can allow people to stay in
their thought how much they want. But it's
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all about how you show up.
If you show up in a way of,
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listen, I'm winning in life
because I'm choosing me.
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I'm not looking left and right,
00:11:40
I'm just doing what's right
in front of me on my path.
00:11:44
And I will not keep quiet. I will
not voice it in front of everybody.
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Like nobody like really knows what's
going on in my personal life, for example.
00:11:52
'cause I have intrinsic wish to
share it, but I'm also not hiding it.
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I'm not hiding what I'm doing.
I'm not hiding who I am.
00:12:00
I'm not changing anything to
allow other people to continue
00:12:05
to think less of me. You know what I mean?
00:12:07
Like it's all about not making any
compromises on what you want to do.
00:12:11
So you're not just walking away,
you are walking away with strength,
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you are walking away with conviction,
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you are walking away
and you're saying like,
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I'm not available for this kind of
interaction. And if this is the kind of
00:12:23
energy exchange we still have,
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I will let you know that it will
hurt you to continue this way.
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Because if you are acting
like this towards me,
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then I'm going to also express
how I feel about that situation.
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And that's not something you want.
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And you'll see how many
people will actually leave
you alone maybe for the first
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time ever, energetically. It's really,
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really interesting because
we absorb so much energy,
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we absorb so much of other people's,
you know, emotional states.
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We understand where they're coming
from and people have to subconsciously
00:12:53
understand we're not up for that anymore.
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Like I am energetically not here anymore.
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This is not just about staying
silent, not talking to people.
00:13:01
This is really about using your
energy to put it towards your path
00:13:06
and not putting it towards the person
that you're still connected with that is
00:13:10
not treating you the way you deserve or
better set that is not treating you as
00:13:13
the person you are working towards
becoming. Sign number four,
00:13:17
you protect your energy like
it's in a high security vault.
00:13:19
I've talked about this in the last video.
00:13:21
Our energy is where our energy is
potent. I don't want it to be this way,
00:13:25
but this is the way it is.
00:13:27
That does not mean that you have to
demand more respect than other people.
00:13:31
What we want is that everybody
respects everybody equally,
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but it cannot start by you showing respect
to other people and being okay with
00:13:40
them disrespecting you.
00:13:42
And so we have to really make sure
that our energy is protected in such a
00:13:47
way that people can
think of you as arrogant,
00:13:49
that people can think of you as selfish,
00:13:52
that people can think of you as somebody
who stuck up and just does what they
00:13:56
want and is completely like delirious
or delusional or whatever it
00:14:01
may be.
00:14:02
Let them think that I'm not open
to any of that. Once I tapped into
00:14:07
my like journey, once I tapped
into my INFJ villain origin story,
00:14:11
I cut out so many interactions.
00:14:14
I cut out so many options for my life
because I was willing to sacrifice what I
00:14:18
want now for what I want most.
00:14:20
And what I want most is to use
my energy in such a way that it
00:14:25
actually amplifies, that it grows,
00:14:27
that it can have an impact
on other people long term.
00:14:31
And the only way this really works
is if I make sure that my energy is
00:14:34
protected. So I put my boundaries
up really, really high.
00:14:38
Like people don't have
normal access to me.
00:14:41
And I don't do this from a
place of, oh, something special.
00:14:45
I'm doing this from a place of I know
what my highest value in life is.
00:14:50
And I know that for me as
somebody who picks up so much,
00:14:55
this is a necessity.
This isn't coming from a place of, oh,
00:14:59
I think I'm better than other people.
This is coming from a place of,
00:15:02
my energy is very open,
I can absorb a lot,
00:15:07
I can pick up a lot.
00:15:09
And so I have to be extra sure that I
protect this because this energy can pick
00:15:14
up so much. It can pick up other people's
pain, it can pick up other people's,
00:15:19
like negative energy, it
can pick up their hurt,
00:15:24
all of that. And once I'm drained,
I don't have anything left to give.
00:15:28
So if I want to create a system
that is regenerating itself,
00:15:32
I have to look at it from the metaphor
of my cup of energy needs to be full and
00:15:37
it needs to be overflowing. And I only
give from that which is overflowing.
00:15:41
And the only way to do this
is to really have high,
00:15:44
high boundaries and to
be willing to cut out 80%
00:15:49
of connections in order to make
sure that even if I'm going to be on
00:15:54
my own,
00:15:55
this is not something that's up for the
bait. First my cup is going to be full
00:16:00
and only then I'm reaching out.
Only then I'm creating connections.
00:16:05
And at first this is super scary because
it feels like nobody's ever going to
00:16:09
like you. But you'll see that first off,
00:16:11
you won't need as much anymore
because you give so much to yourself.
00:16:16
And second of all,
00:16:17
you actually start creating connections
that are based on you being able to
00:16:21
show up completely as you are.
00:16:23
And this is a necessity for
belonging. We don't wanna fit in,
00:16:28
we wanna belong.
00:16:29
And belonging is based on you
protecting your energy like it's your
00:16:33
highest good because
it is sign number five.
00:16:37
You are not waiting for seed at
the table. You build your own.
00:16:40
This is not about starting
your own business or being
a manager or anything like
00:16:43
this. This is about you being the one
who sets the tone of how their life is
00:16:48
developing. When we are looking for
metaphorically a seat at the table,
00:16:53
it's like I wanna fit into society.
00:16:55
And we all know it's human need to belong.
00:16:58
We all know it's a human
need to be connected, right?
00:17:02
We don't want social isolation.
It doesn't feel good.
00:17:06
It's not like in our nature, but we
have to understand that as INFJs,
00:17:11
we cannot fit into the norm table.
00:17:15
It doesn't work. It just
doesn't work. We've tried it.
00:17:19
And the longer you try to
adapt yourself to, you know,
00:17:22
become a chameleon, be this
one version of yourself,
00:17:25
when you're with these people and this
other version of them and there is no
00:17:29
core to you that people have to deal with,
00:17:32
we're always going to feel misunderstood.
00:17:34
We are always going to feel lonely and
we're going to feel like people don't see
00:17:38
us. So when I say don't ask
for a seat at the table,
00:17:43
create your own.
It's all about setting the tone.
00:17:46
We've had a video like this last week
where it's about I am the blueprint.
00:17:50
I see the world a certain way,
00:17:53
and it's my path in life to
actually live out that truth.
00:17:57
How I see the world, how I
think we should go through life.
00:18:01
I'm not hiding it anymore
just because it's weird.
00:18:04
I'm not hiding it because
it's not the norm.
00:18:06
And I'm not trying to mold
myself in order to fit onto your
00:18:11
table. I'm showing up and
I'm creating my own reality.
00:18:15
And you'll meet people who will
tell you over and over again, ha ha,
00:18:18
this is not going to work.
Who do you think you are?
00:18:21
This is not going to be accepted. You
can't do that. They cannot do that.
00:18:26
They cannot deal with being so different.
00:18:29
They cannot deal with being different
than what society wants of them. But we
00:18:34
all are individualists at our core.
00:18:37
We all have a unique way of seeing
the world, of seeing ourselves,
00:18:41
of seeing reality.
00:18:43
And most people are just okay
with making that, you know,
00:18:47
not that big of a deal. And they're
willing to sacrifice more of that.
00:18:51
It just doesn't work
for us. It just doesn't.
00:18:55
And that's why we have to learn.
00:18:56
I'm going to be that and I'm going
to stand out like a sore thumb.
00:19:00
And this will actually lead to a lot
of people not even actually seeing me
00:19:03
because I'm just too far off in
my own land, in my own world.
00:19:08
But the people who will actually
benefit from this, they will find you.
00:19:12
They will grow to reach you.
00:19:14
They will be there and they
will appreciate who you
are and what you bring to
00:19:18
the table. We are here
to make a difference,
00:19:22
so let's do that. We are not going
to ever be able to have the impact we
00:19:27
want when we, you know,
00:19:29
make ourselves smaller in order to fit
somebody else's understanding of how we
00:19:33
should behave. We're not acting
from a place of bat morality.
00:19:38
We're not acting from a place of doing
anything illegal or something malicious,
00:19:43
but we're also not allowing
other people to make us feel
00:19:48
small just so we don't look
like the bad guy for a minute.
00:19:51
Let them think I'm the bad guy. Like
I'm good with it now. It's okay.
00:19:56
You can think whatever you want.
00:19:57
I'm not solely this good-hearted
human being who just wants peace and
00:20:02
harmony for the world. Yeah, that's me.
00:20:04
But I'm also willing to do
what it takes to get there.
00:20:07
And so that means if you feel bad
in my presence, then let that be.
00:20:12
I know what my values are,
00:20:13
I know where I'm going. And that includes
that you are willing to tap into that
00:20:18
villain aspect of yourself.
00:20:20
'cause you have to be willing to
bite back when the world bites you.
00:20:24
If you're not willing to
do that, you will collapse.
00:20:27
It doesn't work any other way. You
have to be willing to bite back.
00:20:31
Although you know this hurts your
soul, this hurts the other person,
00:20:34
but everybody's going to be okay.
They will learn their lesson.
00:20:37
You'll definitely learn your lesson.
00:20:39
And if you don't wanna
bite back all the time,
00:20:43
that's actually the
best way to go about it.
00:20:45
I don't even fight with
people like this. Not at all.
00:20:48
I don't get in situations like this,
00:20:49
but the only way I'm able to do this
is because I don't show up as somebody
00:20:54
who's all like altruistic and I'm
a martyr and I'm willing to give
00:20:58
myself up for you.
That's not the identity I, you know,
00:21:03
embody anymore. I am a person
who knows what they have,
00:21:07
knows what I can create for myself.
00:21:09
I know what I can offer to the people
in my life and I expect this to be
00:21:13
respected. I don't treat people
worse than they treat me,
00:21:16
but I'm definitely not gonna treat 'em
better than how I know I deserve to be
00:21:20
treated. Remember, if you wanna
take it to the next level,
00:21:22
because we all know is IN fjs, this
isn't just about learning something.
00:21:25
We have to implement it.
First off, get the poster,
00:21:28
then either get the audio guide
or join our bootcamp community.
00:21:32
Everything you need to
know about bootcamp,
00:21:34
about the audio guide you can find
through the links and description.
00:21:36
We also have a payment
plan for the bootcamp.
00:21:38
It's an amazing community of IN fjs
creating their INFJ Epic life together.
00:21:42
So join us if you have any
questions, write us@infoatlenses.com.
00:21:46
Everything else, as I said, you can find
through the links in the description.
00:21:49
And if you wanna watch another video now
that is not aligned for today's topic,
00:21:52
then check out the video you
see on the screen right now.
00:21:54
I'll see in the next one. Bye.
