"Women Are Afraid of Us" | Spectrum

00:28:25
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpvunopzOPc

Resumo

TLDRThe video features a candid discussion among men about their experiences with masculinity, loneliness, and emotional expression. Participants share insights on how societal norms shape their interactions and friendships, noting that men often find it challenging to form close relationships compared to women. The conversation highlights the importance of vulnerability in combating loneliness and fostering intimacy. Cultural backgrounds and personal experiences play significant roles in shaping perceptions of masculinity, with many men expressing a desire to embrace their authentic selves despite societal pressures. The discussion also touches on the impact of social media on self-perception and the need for community among men to feel understood and supported.

Conclusões

  • 🤔 Men often feel lonely and struggle to form close friendships.
  • 👩‍❤️‍👨 Women easily socialize in groups, while men find one-on-one interactions awkward.
  • 💔 Vulnerability is key to combating loneliness and fostering intimacy.
  • 🌍 Cultural backgrounds influence perceptions of masculinity and emotional expression.
  • 🗣️ Many men feel pressure to conform to societal expectations of toughness.
  • 🤝 Building a sense of community among men is crucial for mental health.
  • 📱 Social media can negatively impact self-perception through comparisons.
  • 🧠 Personal experiences shape how men view and express their masculinity.
  • 💪 Embracing authenticity is a journey for many men.
  • 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Understanding and support from peers can help men navigate their identities.

Linha do tempo

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The speaker reflects on a past experience where a woman was afraid of him, leading to a discussion about self-acceptance and the challenges of being a people pleaser. He acknowledges the difficulty of expressing emotions among men and the loneliness many men feel today, contrasting social interactions between men and women.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    The conversation shifts to the challenges of forming close friendships among men, with one participant sharing their journey of becoming more comfortable with male friendships as they embraced their queer identity. They discuss the stigma surrounding emotional vulnerability among men and the importance of genuine connections.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Participants share their experiences of feeling different or not fitting in with traditional masculine norms, highlighting the difficulty of finding community among men. They discuss the impact of societal expectations on their emotional expression and the importance of vulnerability in combating loneliness.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The discussion continues with reflections on upbringing and the varying definitions of toughness. Participants share their experiences with masculinity shaped by cultural backgrounds, emphasizing the need for emotional expression and the challenges of conforming to traditional gender roles.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:28:25

    The conversation concludes with a focus on self-acceptance and the importance of being true to oneself. Participants share their journeys of navigating identity, the significance of support from family, and the celebration of their authentic selves despite societal pressures.

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Vídeo de perguntas e respostas

  • What are the main themes discussed in the video?

    The main themes include masculinity, loneliness, emotional expression, and the differences in social interactions between men and women.

  • How do men typically socialize compared to women?

    Men often find it awkward to socialize one-on-one, while women easily form close friendships and social circles.

  • What challenges do men face in forming close friendships?

    Men often struggle with societal expectations that discourage emotional vulnerability, making it difficult to form intimate connections.

  • How has the perception of masculinity changed over time?

    There is a growing acceptance of emotional expression among men, allowing for deeper connections without stigma.

  • What role does vulnerability play in combating loneliness?

    Vulnerability fosters intimacy and connection, which are essential for reducing loneliness.

  • How do cultural backgrounds influence perceptions of masculinity?

    Cultural backgrounds can impose strong gender roles and expectations, affecting how individuals express their masculinity.

  • What is the significance of community among men?

    A sense of community helps men feel understood and supported, which is crucial for mental health.

  • How do personal experiences shape one's view of masculinity?

    Personal experiences, including family dynamics and societal pressures, significantly influence how individuals perceive and express their masculinity.

  • What is the impact of social media on men's self-perception?

    Social media can lead to comparisons that affect self-esteem and body image, but it can also provide inspiration for personal growth.

  • How do men navigate their identities in relation to societal expectations?

    Men often struggle to balance their authentic selves with societal expectations, leading to a journey of self-discovery and acceptance.

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  • 00:00:00
    I remember one time I was walking on the
  • 00:00:01
    street and this woman kept turning
  • 00:00:03
    behind and I was like, "Oh, what's
  • 00:00:04
    behind me?" But then I realized I was a
  • 00:00:07
    person that she was afraid of.
  • 00:00:08
    I apologize for my actions and things
  • 00:00:10
    that I've done, but I don't apologize
  • 00:00:12
    for me. I I like me. I'm awesome. I hate
  • 00:00:14
    being a people pleaser, but at the same
  • 00:00:15
    time, there's that flip side where the
  • 00:00:17
    truth does hurt sometimes.
  • 00:00:18
    I made the mistake of saying I'd leave
  • 00:00:19
    her if she was a dog.
  • 00:00:20
    Yeah. And it didn't go well at all.
  • 00:00:38
    men are lonier today than ever before.
  • 00:00:46
    Yeah,
  • 00:00:49
    unfortunately. I mean, it's funny. I I
  • 00:00:51
    go out in LA a lot uh to different
  • 00:00:54
    restaurants and I always see lots of
  • 00:00:56
    groups of women at tables just eating
  • 00:00:59
    out uh having a great time socializing
  • 00:01:03
    and I rarely see like groups of guys
  • 00:01:06
    like guys are like rarely hitting each
  • 00:01:07
    other up like guys let's go get brunch
  • 00:01:09
    and it's like five guys together getting
  • 00:01:11
    brunch a lot of these restaurants like
  • 00:01:14
    you just see packs of uh front so social
  • 00:01:17
    circles within women really embracing
  • 00:01:19
    kind of like uh uh just being together
  • 00:01:21
    and having a good time. I I always
  • 00:01:23
    experience it when I go to the movies.
  • 00:01:25
    It's like it's rare that I would, you
  • 00:01:26
    know, hit up one of the guys and be
  • 00:01:27
    like, "Hey, you want to go to a movie
  • 00:01:28
    with me?" You know, like
  • 00:01:29
    Exactly.
  • 00:01:30
    cuz the one-on-one with a guy is like
  • 00:01:32
    super taboo and awkward, but girls have
  • 00:01:34
    like no issue with that, right? Girls
  • 00:01:35
    like, "I'm going to go get lunch with my
  • 00:01:37
    one girlfriend and we're going to go
  • 00:01:38
    hang out." And if I just ask one of my
  • 00:01:40
    buddies, "Hey, you and me, let's just go
  • 00:01:41
    grab lunch." That just feels weird. And
  • 00:01:43
    maybe it shouldn't, but it does.
  • 00:01:45
    I think um for me it's like neutral. I
  • 00:01:48
    probably move to like somewhat disagree
  • 00:01:49
    cuz I think for me like I've noticed as
  • 00:01:51
    I've gotten older when I was younger it
  • 00:01:52
    was harder for me to make male friends.
  • 00:01:54
    Um and I wasn't like out at the time. I
  • 00:01:56
    didn't even know I was really gay. But
  • 00:01:58
    it just seemed like men clicked with
  • 00:02:00
    each other more than what I was seeing.
  • 00:02:02
    But I wasn't really fitting fitting in
  • 00:02:04
    with that. As I was getting older and I
  • 00:02:06
    was trying to figure out who I was and I
  • 00:02:07
    was super anxious and I'm like an
  • 00:02:08
    anxious person to this day. I'm just not
  • 00:02:10
    the greatest at communicating
  • 00:02:12
    frustrations or even like happiness and
  • 00:02:14
    stuff like that. So that kind of just
  • 00:02:16
    maintained that constant reserved like
  • 00:02:19
    apathetic kind of monotone outlook I
  • 00:02:21
    have on life. So as time's gone by with
  • 00:02:23
    my feminine traits being more noticeable
  • 00:02:26
    or like even now me like identifying as
  • 00:02:28
    queer, I don't have issues having very
  • 00:02:29
    close like best straight male friends um
  • 00:02:32
    and going out to movies, dinners,
  • 00:02:34
    hanging out. We have like intimate
  • 00:02:36
    relationships, not like romantic, but
  • 00:02:38
    just like intimate genuine connections
  • 00:02:39
    that I think is hard for men to make
  • 00:02:41
    with each other without stigma. And now
  • 00:02:43
    I'm seeing it's getting easier for me to
  • 00:02:45
    have straight masculine male friends,
  • 00:02:47
    especially in the military, and no one
  • 00:02:49
    bats an eye, versus I'm sure back then
  • 00:02:52
    maybe it was a little bit harder if you
  • 00:02:53
    had a gay male friend or just a guy
  • 00:02:55
    around you all the time in your room or
  • 00:02:57
    something. I think it's gotten better.
  • 00:02:59
    When I was a freshman in college,
  • 00:03:01
    I had friends that I hung out with. I
  • 00:03:04
    had a group that I met in orientation.
  • 00:03:07
    Uh, but I still ended up spending so
  • 00:03:09
    much time distant from them because even
  • 00:03:13
    though I hung out with them, I was a
  • 00:03:16
    very different person to them. And every
  • 00:03:19
    avenue in which I felt like there was
  • 00:03:20
    parts of me maybe I could share with
  • 00:03:22
    them, I would also feel like they might
  • 00:03:24
    judge me for it. Particularly because a
  • 00:03:26
    lot of the friends, you know, I I I
  • 00:03:28
    exist on a weird precipice. I'm I'm a
  • 00:03:30
    conservative, but I have a lot of what
  • 00:03:32
    might be considered more liberal
  • 00:03:33
    hobbies. I'm into board games and Dn D
  • 00:03:36
    and video games and a lot of those
  • 00:03:38
    spaces are very heavily liberal
  • 00:03:41
    dominant. There are parts of myself and
  • 00:03:43
    my faith and my background that I don't
  • 00:03:45
    often feel I can share with the men
  • 00:03:47
    around me. Now, the obvious solution
  • 00:03:49
    would be to formulate a community. Um,
  • 00:03:51
    but one thing I noticed is that
  • 00:03:53
    especially out in LA, but really in a
  • 00:03:55
    lot of cities, it is very difficult to
  • 00:03:57
    find any kind of sense of community
  • 00:04:00
    amongst men. And it's not just about
  • 00:04:01
    hanging out, but it's about feeling like
  • 00:04:04
    you're understood and heard. And I think
  • 00:04:06
    the suicide rates of men speak for
  • 00:04:08
    themselves.
  • 00:04:09
    Sure, we have easier ways to talk to
  • 00:04:11
    people online, but there's nothing that
  • 00:04:13
    that connection still isn't just there.
  • 00:04:15
    There's there's something more to
  • 00:04:17
    loneliness that I think there is
  • 00:04:18
    something inside that drive to men. When
  • 00:04:20
    I hang out with my friends now, I'm I'm
  • 00:04:22
    a dad and they're not. There's something
  • 00:04:23
    they don't get about me and they I don't
  • 00:04:25
    get about them. they have this drive to
  • 00:04:27
    do these things that I don't agree with
  • 00:04:29
    and I can't really talk to them about it
  • 00:04:30
    because you know for whatever reason we
  • 00:04:32
    don't talk about it. I just want to say
  • 00:04:33
    listening to you all it's fascinating
  • 00:04:35
    because you talk about superficial and
  • 00:04:37
    it is and like I find it fascinating
  • 00:04:39
    that you just you all like not you all
  • 00:04:41
    but it's uncomfortable to go somewhere
  • 00:04:43
    with a friend one-on-one and so and I
  • 00:04:45
    find that a lot of males are sad and
  • 00:04:48
    they are lonely because they do not have
  • 00:04:49
    the space to feel like they can actually
  • 00:04:51
    express emotions because part of that
  • 00:04:54
    protects against loneliness is
  • 00:04:56
    vulnerability and from that is intimacy
  • 00:04:58
    and it's not sex. Just knowing that
  • 00:05:00
    someone knows who you are through your
  • 00:05:02
    soul that will help protect against
  • 00:05:04
    intimacy. But yet, we can't have this if
  • 00:05:06
    we can't go to lunch oneonone.
  • 00:05:08
    I was raised to be tough.
  • 00:05:16
    All righty. Well, honestly, for me
  • 00:05:17
    personally, like I was raised primarily
  • 00:05:20
    by women. My father wasn't really in the
  • 00:05:22
    picture. My grandfathers were all away
  • 00:05:23
    and it was just kind of my mom, my
  • 00:05:24
    aunts, and stuff like that. And we're a
  • 00:05:25
    very traditional like Taiwanese little
  • 00:05:27
    family. So the concept of like
  • 00:05:29
    masculinity was something I got
  • 00:05:31
    introduced to until I kind of started
  • 00:05:32
    going to school. Um but I was never
  • 00:05:34
    pushed to be a certain way or to be
  • 00:05:37
    aggressive, protective, any of the
  • 00:05:39
    traditional roles that we would
  • 00:05:40
    associate with like being tough. So my
  • 00:05:42
    dad's Japanese Hawaiian mix and then I
  • 00:05:43
    actually lived in Japan too. So like I
  • 00:05:45
    kind of got to experience that in Japan
  • 00:05:46
    they they do kind of do like the
  • 00:05:47
    suppression of feelings. So it's like
  • 00:05:50
    very very like mask surface level. I
  • 00:05:52
    hide myself and like I'm not going to
  • 00:05:54
    cry. I'm not going to scream. I'm just
  • 00:05:55
    going to like if some if someone's mad
  • 00:05:56
    at me, you know, I just kind of bear the
  • 00:05:59
    brunt kind of tough. There's there's a
  • 00:06:01
    toughness built out of like positivity
  • 00:06:03
    and there's a toughness built out of
  • 00:06:04
    negativity.
  • 00:06:05
    Being reserved.
  • 00:06:06
    Yeah. Yeah.
  • 00:06:07
    If you're reserved, if you can be a
  • 00:06:08
    reserved person, I think which is what I
  • 00:06:10
    kind of said somewhat is that I learned
  • 00:06:12
    from my dad. Um he he was he was a
  • 00:06:15
    police officer and um for him like yeah,
  • 00:06:20
    you could just be a tough guy. You know,
  • 00:06:21
    there's this idea of like machismo and
  • 00:06:23
    showing yourself off. Sometimes the
  • 00:06:25
    toughness comes from knowing when to
  • 00:06:27
    turn the switch on and off. And that's
  • 00:06:29
    that reserve level, which is why I put
  • 00:06:30
    myself at somewhat because I think most
  • 00:06:32
    people believe that toughness is this
  • 00:06:34
    idea of like, you know, yeah, I I go
  • 00:06:36
    around, I'm the boss, I'm the man.
  • 00:06:38
    I was going to say that's interesting
  • 00:06:39
    cuz I'm over here for the exact flipped
  • 00:06:41
    reason. Like I was never raised on the
  • 00:06:43
    idea that like suppressing emotions is
  • 00:06:45
    tough. I was raised like you could
  • 00:06:46
    express emotions. For me, when I was
  • 00:06:48
    being brought up as tough, it was like I
  • 00:06:50
    don't know what I would consider like
  • 00:06:51
    the classical like the 1980s tough of
  • 00:06:53
    like, hey, if a kid at school is messing
  • 00:06:55
    with you, you don't go tell the teacher,
  • 00:06:57
    you handle it, right? Like those like
  • 00:06:58
    that's the sort of tough that I was
  • 00:07:00
    taught. Like you could get mad at
  • 00:07:01
    things, you could be sad about things,
  • 00:07:03
    but you got to fix the problem and you
  • 00:07:04
    got to be self-reliant and handle it
  • 00:07:06
    yourself. That's sort of what toughness
  • 00:07:07
    more means to me. Like I don't like like
  • 00:07:09
    what we call machismo. Like that sort of
  • 00:07:11
    toughness cuz that feels like fake. Like
  • 00:07:14
    I kind of like the idea of like, hey,
  • 00:07:15
    real toughness is you can show emotions,
  • 00:07:17
    but you got to take care of yourself.
  • 00:07:19
    You got to handle your business sort of
  • 00:07:20
    thing.
  • 00:07:20
    But she's almost like the Chihuahua
  • 00:07:21
    yapping.
  • 00:07:22
    Exactly. Right. You got to be like you
  • 00:07:24
    got to be German Shepherd tough, not
  • 00:07:25
    Chihuahua. Right.
  • 00:07:27
    For For me, there's like three
  • 00:07:29
    interesting intersections that I dealt
  • 00:07:31
    with. One is being black.
  • 00:07:34
    Another is being African. And then a
  • 00:07:37
    third was just having a predominantly
  • 00:07:39
    Muslim household. And all three of those
  • 00:07:42
    groups have very kind of strong gender
  • 00:07:46
    roles, very strong idea of what
  • 00:07:49
    masculinity is and what a man should do
  • 00:07:51
    and what a man should provide. And so
  • 00:07:54
    growing up, you know, especially just
  • 00:07:57
    watching my own father and the men in my
  • 00:07:59
    family, you know, there was there really
  • 00:08:01
    wasn't room for weakness or crying or
  • 00:08:04
    being, you know, being emotional. a lot
  • 00:08:06
    of times, you know, um, you know, what I
  • 00:08:09
    was taught was you have to work hard,
  • 00:08:11
    you got to take care of your family, you
  • 00:08:13
    know, you got to stay strong and and it
  • 00:08:16
    applied across all three kind of
  • 00:08:17
    intersections of my identity. Uh so
  • 00:08:20
    really it it it's been an interesting
  • 00:08:24
    journey as I've gotten older to try to
  • 00:08:26
    understand that you know maybe it is
  • 00:08:28
    okay to have you know to to be sad in
  • 00:08:32
    some cases or to to seek out you know um
  • 00:08:36
    uh comfort you know when it comes to
  • 00:08:38
    like emotional connection and things
  • 00:08:40
    like that.
  • 00:08:41
    I had a very different upbringing. I was
  • 00:08:43
    the youngest of two brothers and I grew
  • 00:08:46
    up as the baby girl of the family. And
  • 00:08:48
    so I've only been doing this man thing
  • 00:08:49
    for about five years. And so for me, I
  • 00:08:52
    was always allowed to express myself to
  • 00:08:54
    be soft and I look to my dad for some of
  • 00:08:57
    these masculine qualities like being a
  • 00:08:59
    provider and that's something that I
  • 00:09:00
    hold also as well. But then I look to my
  • 00:09:02
    mom for getting through really tough
  • 00:09:04
    things. So both I have learned how to be
  • 00:09:06
    tough but in very different ways that I
  • 00:09:08
    hold true today. And I think because
  • 00:09:09
    I've lived two 25 years from a woman's
  • 00:09:13
    perspective and then now recently. And
  • 00:09:15
    so for me toughness there's a
  • 00:09:17
    traditional part. Um there is the um
  • 00:09:20
    don't show emotions, be tough, be
  • 00:09:23
    strong, be the provider, be masculine,
  • 00:09:26
    but the other side I I see women. And
  • 00:09:28
    when I think of tough, I think of people
  • 00:09:30
    who speak about sexual assault
  • 00:09:32
    experiences. And that's something that
  • 00:09:34
    I'm like that's really tough to do. Uh
  • 00:09:36
    but they do it. I didn't know what trans
  • 00:09:38
    was growing up. And so I didn't have an
  • 00:09:40
    idea until really I entered my college
  • 00:09:42
    years. And that is when I found out what
  • 00:09:45
    it means to be a trans man. Everyone
  • 00:09:47
    told me who I should be and what I
  • 00:09:50
    should do with my life. And so being
  • 00:09:52
    trans kind of felt like it was its own
  • 00:09:55
    rebellion in a way, but it was a way to
  • 00:09:58
    honor who I was as a person.
  • 00:10:00
    For me, it's like living with disability
  • 00:10:02
    and neurody diversion late. I was late.
  • 00:10:04
    I if I was an HDR like for the past five
  • 00:10:06
    years. So it was also kind of for me
  • 00:10:08
    like I was in living in a world that
  • 00:10:10
    wasn't designed for me but also I grew
  • 00:10:11
    up like with a dad who was like disabled
  • 00:10:14
    as a kid. So I kind of saw like how
  • 00:10:15
    culturally it's a shameful and kind of
  • 00:10:18
    stigma around that. And then also kind
  • 00:10:20
    of seeing how how it's being treated in
  • 00:10:22
    within my own family how it's like kind
  • 00:10:24
    of oh it's bad luck to be disabled.
  • 00:10:27
    Everyone's just this way. I kind of
  • 00:10:28
    watch my own family member like struggle
  • 00:10:30
    to ask for help support because of the
  • 00:10:32
    stigma. I often compare myself to other
  • 00:10:35
    men.
  • 00:10:44
    Well, I think for me, so I grew up with
  • 00:10:46
    two younger brothers. I grew up with my
  • 00:10:48
    dad in my life. And I think in that
  • 00:10:50
    sense, I think brotherly competition, we
  • 00:10:52
    were always like comparing with each
  • 00:10:53
    other. Like we did wrestling together.
  • 00:10:55
    We did all these sports together, rugby,
  • 00:10:57
    sailing. So like, oh, I got the better
  • 00:10:59
    time or like we played video like all
  • 00:11:00
    these things. we would just compare with
  • 00:11:02
    each other. And so I think that also
  • 00:11:05
    kind of just like being in a competitive
  • 00:11:07
    state in sports like you are naturally
  • 00:11:10
    drawn to and then competing with men or
  • 00:11:12
    boys at the age or whatever, right? Um
  • 00:11:14
    you just kind of look at that like I
  • 00:11:16
    feel like there's always that in the
  • 00:11:17
    back of your mind like you're like oh
  • 00:11:19
    shoot like could I you know out compete
  • 00:11:21
    this person you know what I mean?
  • 00:11:23
    So in a similar way I grew up my dad
  • 00:11:25
    always had the saying it was like you
  • 00:11:26
    know compare yourself to people who are
  • 00:11:27
    above you don't compare yourself to
  • 00:11:28
    people who are below you. Uh so it was
  • 00:11:30
    kind of and did a lot of sports and
  • 00:11:32
    stuff growing up. So there is always
  • 00:11:33
    that sense of like looking around and
  • 00:11:35
    seeing what the competition is, but also
  • 00:11:37
    I don't feel this need to like always be
  • 00:11:39
    in competition though. You know what I
  • 00:11:41
    mean?
  • 00:11:42
    So like I could look around and be
  • 00:11:43
    inspired by other people and I could see
  • 00:11:45
    like oh this person is doing so much
  • 00:11:46
    more with their life or doing more
  • 00:11:48
    creatively or this and this and so forth
  • 00:11:50
    and I could be inspired by that but I
  • 00:11:51
    don't necessarily see that being like
  • 00:11:53
    like necessarily jealousy. Right. Right.
  • 00:11:55
    My career in the world of adult
  • 00:11:57
    entertainment it's a double-edged sword.
  • 00:11:58
    There's definitely times where I have
  • 00:12:01
    I'm comparing myself to my fellow
  • 00:12:03
    co-workers and that does affect my views
  • 00:12:07
    on myself a little bit, but at the same
  • 00:12:08
    time, my masculinity and my manhood is
  • 00:12:10
    pretty secure because of this. Whether
  • 00:12:13
    we like it or not, one of the societal
  • 00:12:15
    markers of manliness and manhood is your
  • 00:12:18
    ability to attract the opposite sex or
  • 00:12:20
    or just, you know, attract mates and
  • 00:12:22
    things like that. and being fairly
  • 00:12:24
    successful at that even before I got
  • 00:12:25
    into this line of work really helped
  • 00:12:27
    solidify my confidence in my masculinity
  • 00:12:30
    and my manhood.
  • 00:12:31
    I compare myself at work all the time to
  • 00:12:34
    people who are really good at their job
  • 00:12:35
    and I'm like that guy is way better than
  • 00:12:37
    me at work or at my work, you know, that
  • 00:12:39
    woman is better than me. But I don't use
  • 00:12:41
    it as like a, oh man, I suck, poor me,
  • 00:12:43
    right? I'm not a victim. I'm going to
  • 00:12:44
    use that as I'm going to work hard and
  • 00:12:46
    I'm going to get to be as good as that
  • 00:12:48
    person and maybe better someday. You
  • 00:12:49
    see, that was that's where the ceiling
  • 00:12:50
    is. And you're like, okay, okay, I have
  • 00:12:51
    more room to grow.
  • 00:12:52
    It's possible to be that good. Exactly.
  • 00:12:54
    And I think that's positive masculinity
  • 00:12:55
    is like you're not competing like I'm
  • 00:12:57
    going to tear you down. You're competing
  • 00:12:59
    like I'm going to get myself good.
  • 00:13:00
    For me, like my dating life was
  • 00:13:03
    negatively affected by the fact that I
  • 00:13:05
    used to seek validation from other men
  • 00:13:08
    by how attractive my girlfriend was. And
  • 00:13:11
    so I would like try to date the hottest
  • 00:13:13
    girl possible just to so that I can like
  • 00:13:16
    get that approval, right? And a lot of
  • 00:13:18
    times we wouldn't even have con a
  • 00:13:20
    connection or we wouldn't have
  • 00:13:21
    necessarily we wouldn't be the right
  • 00:13:23
    partners for each other. But it it
  • 00:13:25
    negatively kind of skewed how I did
  • 00:13:27
    everything. I went through uh a huge
  • 00:13:30
    weight loss journey and I was obsessed
  • 00:13:32
    with achieving like a six-pack and being
  • 00:13:36
    really fit. And that's, you know,
  • 00:13:37
    unfortunately the type of media that I
  • 00:13:40
    consumed and the type of messages that I
  • 00:13:42
    got, you know, was kind of reiterating
  • 00:13:45
    this ideal that like men had to be kind
  • 00:13:48
    of gymgoing. And so, you know, I find
  • 00:13:51
    myself a lot of times looking at people
  • 00:13:54
    in the fitness industry and seeing how I
  • 00:13:57
    can, you know, look more like them. It
  • 00:14:00
    does cause a form of dysmorphia
  • 00:14:03
    uh where I'm not quite ever happy. I'm
  • 00:14:06
    constantly in some form of dieting, some
  • 00:14:09
    form of like abuse to my body. There's
  • 00:14:12
    some pros with that too, right? Uh and
  • 00:14:14
    that like it it has made me go from
  • 00:14:16
    being someone who sits at a desk and
  • 00:14:18
    doesn't take care of himself to someone
  • 00:14:20
    who does.
  • 00:14:21
    I've never really had a I I suppose you
  • 00:14:23
    could say envious personality. I've
  • 00:14:25
    never looked at somebody else and said,
  • 00:14:26
    "Man, what do they have that I want?" I
  • 00:14:28
    don't know why I don't have that. It's
  • 00:14:29
    it's not like, you know, uh it's it's a
  • 00:14:31
    benefit for me to some extent, I think.
  • 00:14:33
    But when I look at, for example, like
  • 00:14:35
    the saints in history and the men that I
  • 00:14:36
    consider models, I'm not comparing who I
  • 00:14:39
    am to them. I think of it rather as what
  • 00:14:42
    sort of things need to be like achieved.
  • 00:14:46
    You know, when I see what they do, not
  • 00:14:48
    comparing myself to them. Rather, I'm
  • 00:14:50
    just seeing what they've done and I'm
  • 00:14:51
    deciding on my own what do I want to do.
  • 00:14:53
    Like I think it's interesting how you
  • 00:14:54
    explain it like you and I love that
  • 00:14:56
    you're so independent on how you um
  • 00:14:59
    express yourself or how you go by like
  • 00:15:01
    your lifestyle, but for me like honestly
  • 00:15:02
    I compare myself to so many other men
  • 00:15:04
    cuz it's to make you more palatable.
  • 00:15:06
    So like being raised like again with
  • 00:15:08
    only a Taiwanese family and I'm the
  • 00:15:10
    oldest um firstborn like American uh
  • 00:15:13
    child by like 10 years by my little
  • 00:15:15
    brother and everybody else like for my
  • 00:15:17
    family especially in Taiwan who's still
  • 00:15:19
    actively racist and stuff like that. I
  • 00:15:21
    compare myself to their norms of what a
  • 00:15:23
    man should be. So that when they see
  • 00:15:25
    photos of me, when they see my success,
  • 00:15:27
    it's not something that's knocked down
  • 00:15:29
    by my demographic or or my mix. Or the
  • 00:15:32
    same thing on the other side of the
  • 00:15:32
    family. Like I compare myself to a lot
  • 00:15:34
    of other black men cuz I was not raised
  • 00:15:36
    with black men or black people really.
  • 00:15:38
    So, but the world is going to look at me
  • 00:15:39
    and see that automatically. So, I
  • 00:15:41
    compare that on both ends to portray
  • 00:15:43
    myself to be more palatable and um
  • 00:15:46
    I don't know like accepted on either
  • 00:15:48
    side. Even in the military, like my
  • 00:15:49
    entire job, like if you're any of y'all
  • 00:15:51
    were in the military, like your entire
  • 00:15:53
    um success rate or like, you know,
  • 00:15:55
    sometimes they don't even look at you,
  • 00:15:56
    just like you can be huge piece of [ __ ]
  • 00:15:58
    as long as you can run a 2 mile in 5
  • 00:15:59
    minutes, you know? So, it's just for me,
  • 00:16:01
    it's gotten me to a good place where
  • 00:16:03
    comparing myself to other men, not in a
  • 00:16:04
    competition way, but to help me define
  • 00:16:06
    my masculinity, what makes me a man, has
  • 00:16:09
    helped me a lot to get to who I am.
  • 00:16:10
    As as the only guy on this side, I'm
  • 00:16:11
    actually curious. I'm curious to know if
  • 00:16:13
    you're on that side and you feel like
  • 00:16:14
    it's a negative thing or it's a positive
  • 00:16:16
    thing.
  • 00:16:16
    Yeah, so I'm in the fitness industry. I
  • 00:16:18
    do coaching. I post about like being in
  • 00:16:22
    good shape, like physiques and all that
  • 00:16:23
    stuff. So, I keep up with like all of
  • 00:16:25
    the fitness influencers. And sometimes
  • 00:16:28
    like like I'm not perfect at comparing
  • 00:16:30
    myself and maybe I shouldn't in the
  • 00:16:32
    negative aspects, right? But in the
  • 00:16:34
    positive aspects, it's like, shoot, he's
  • 00:16:36
    like really good at this. Maybe I should
  • 00:16:37
    like change my form so I can like do
  • 00:16:39
    that movement a little bit better. But
  • 00:16:41
    then sometimes like I'll even catch
  • 00:16:43
    myself uh oh no, I like fell off the
  • 00:16:45
    wagon of my diet or whatever. uh or or I
  • 00:16:48
    got sick or I got through an injury and
  • 00:16:50
    I'm like now I'm not going to the gym
  • 00:16:51
    and I'm like gosh like look at all these
  • 00:16:53
    guys like they're they're in so much
  • 00:16:54
    better shape than I am. And that's where
  • 00:16:55
    it would ne negatively impact me
  • 00:16:57
    specifically is when I start comparing
  • 00:16:59
    myself to like they look better than I
  • 00:17:02
    do and I'm like not really looking at my
  • 00:17:04
    situation. We're not we're not on the
  • 00:17:06
    same playing field.
  • 00:17:06
    Early into my transition, I was looking
  • 00:17:08
    at these father figures, men figures,
  • 00:17:11
    what is masculine? What is maleness? And
  • 00:17:13
    so does it hurt me? Yes, it did because
  • 00:17:16
    I was starting to lose a bit of who I
  • 00:17:18
    was cuz I had to make sure don't stand
  • 00:17:19
    with my hips. Stand straight. Uh, don't
  • 00:17:21
    use my hands when I talk. Be more strong
  • 00:17:23
    and sturdy. And
  • 00:17:24
    that's interesting because don't use
  • 00:17:26
    your hands when you talk. That's just an
  • 00:17:27
    Italian thing.
  • 00:17:28
    Yeah, I was going to say I use my hands
  • 00:17:29
    constantly and I've never once been told
  • 00:17:31
    to talk.
  • 00:17:31
    Donald Trump, the president of the
  • 00:17:33
    United States, all he does is talk with
  • 00:17:34
    his hand.
  • 00:17:35
    Yeah, you got to go.
  • 00:17:35
    No, but mannerisms that are considered
  • 00:17:38
    more feminine than others.
  • 00:17:39
    I get I get I had to change I had to
  • 00:17:41
    change a bit of that. But I still hold a
  • 00:17:43
    lot of those feminine traits really
  • 00:17:45
    strongly. And I I feel so blessed to
  • 00:17:47
    actually have that because now I can
  • 00:17:49
    actually interact with women without
  • 00:17:51
    making them feel uncomfortable because
  • 00:17:53
    if I want to compliment them, I might
  • 00:17:54
    come off a little bit more feminine, but
  • 00:17:56
    it makes them feel okay and I can still
  • 00:17:57
    make their day a bit brighter. And so I
  • 00:17:59
    do compare myself. Like I'm 5'7 on a
  • 00:18:01
    good day. So like that's kind of hard.
  • 00:18:04
    But um I've been able to at least be on
  • 00:18:07
    somewhat agree because I don't fully
  • 00:18:08
    compare myself to other men because I'm
  • 00:18:10
    not them. I'm myself. Early into my
  • 00:18:13
    transition, I did try to become somebody
  • 00:18:15
    I wasn't. I was looking at the very
  • 00:18:18
    binary men in my life and on the
  • 00:18:21
    internet and trying to live up to those
  • 00:18:23
    standards and be that person. And I
  • 00:18:25
    realized as throughout my journey as a
  • 00:18:28
    trans man, I don't need to be that
  • 00:18:30
    person. I need to be myself.
  • 00:18:32
    I have apologized for being myself.
  • 00:18:41
    I've absolutely apologized for being
  • 00:18:43
    myself because I realize that I have
  • 00:18:46
    stepped into a male role and there's
  • 00:18:48
    some things that were not good. You
  • 00:18:51
    know, I might be
  • 00:18:53
    rude or I might be I might come across
  • 00:18:56
    as someone as someone something that I'm
  • 00:18:58
    not. And so I've had to apologize like,
  • 00:19:00
    "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it
  • 00:19:02
    this way." And I understand how that
  • 00:19:04
    affected that affected you.
  • 00:19:06
    Yeah. I think I've also apologized for
  • 00:19:07
    myself just like my personality
  • 00:19:09
    sometimes. I feel like maybe I'll say
  • 00:19:11
    something that somebody takes in like a
  • 00:19:13
    wrong way and like all of a sudden I
  • 00:19:14
    feel bad. I think I'm very guilty of
  • 00:19:16
    being like and I've like so tried so
  • 00:19:18
    hard to get out of this but being a
  • 00:19:19
    people pleaser like making sure that
  • 00:19:21
    everyone's happy, everyone's taken care
  • 00:19:22
    of, no contention, when in like reality
  • 00:19:24
    I should just be okay with like just
  • 00:19:26
    saying what's on my mind. I think for me
  • 00:19:28
    like if I say something that's like oh
  • 00:19:31
    being overweight is unhealthy or being
  • 00:19:32
    skinny. I was a skinny guy. being skinny
  • 00:19:34
    is um is also unhealthy. I don't like
  • 00:19:37
    want that to just be like even though
  • 00:19:38
    it's a fact of the matter kind of a
  • 00:19:40
    statement. I don't want to say like you
  • 00:19:41
    know somebody who is who's watching me
  • 00:19:43
    who is skinny is like like oh man this
  • 00:19:45
    guy's like really shedding light to my
  • 00:19:47
    situation. He's making me feel bad
  • 00:19:48
    because I'm overweight or I'm skinny or
  • 00:19:51
    yada yada. So it's like I think I kind
  • 00:19:53
    of shy away from saying stuff like that.
  • 00:19:56
    But uh I should be a little bit more I I
  • 00:19:58
    shouldn't be worried about offending
  • 00:19:59
    people. If it's like a matter of the
  • 00:20:01
    fact if it's coming from a place of like
  • 00:20:02
    genuine love, knowledge, and care, then
  • 00:20:04
    I should just be I should just be me.
  • 00:20:06
    I'm a person who I I very much want the
  • 00:20:08
    truth. Um and that often comes across as
  • 00:20:12
    combative or debating.
  • 00:20:15
    Um and so a lot of the times I'll want
  • 00:20:19
    my mom to see the truth in something or
  • 00:20:21
    my wife to see the truth and I'll say,
  • 00:20:22
    "Well, no, that's not true." she'll
  • 00:20:23
    watch something on the news and I'll
  • 00:20:25
    say, "No, that's well actually, okay, we
  • 00:20:26
    have to consider this perspective and
  • 00:20:28
    that's not quite the way that is." And
  • 00:20:29
    I'm trying to have a conversation with
  • 00:20:30
    her about it because I I do want there
  • 00:20:32
    to be an understanding of the truth
  • 00:20:34
    because I I don't want there people to
  • 00:20:36
    be wrong. And the thing I get, and some
  • 00:20:37
    of you may have heard this before, is
  • 00:20:39
    you always have to be right. Yeah, I
  • 00:20:41
    hope so. I want to be right. Why would I
  • 00:20:42
    want to be wrong? Why would I ever want
  • 00:20:44
    to be wrong? I I I know what they mean
  • 00:20:45
    by that. They're saying that like, you
  • 00:20:47
    know, I can't stop, right? But it's not
  • 00:20:49
    for me. It's not about that. It's like I
  • 00:20:51
    don't I don't want you to believe
  • 00:20:52
    something wrong. I don't want to believe
  • 00:20:53
    something wrong either. Maybe I'm wrong.
  • 00:20:54
    And the only way I can get more out of
  • 00:20:56
    you is if I probe and I ask more
  • 00:20:59
    questions and I get more information. I
  • 00:21:01
    But I have apologized for it on multiple
  • 00:21:03
    occasions. I'm I'm sorry for having the
  • 00:21:05
    last word. I'm sorry for saying this.
  • 00:21:07
    I'm sorry for getting your goat with
  • 00:21:08
    this information. I'm just I'm trying to
  • 00:21:10
    understand and and so I've definitely
  • 00:21:12
    had to apologize a lot.
  • 00:21:13
    I think for me it's like what we kind
  • 00:21:15
    mentioned was like Yeah. I think for me
  • 00:21:16
    how why I kind of chose to be like
  • 00:21:18
    disagree to be like oh be of my
  • 00:21:20
    authentic self help is because I I kind
  • 00:21:22
    of grow up like being late identify nerd
  • 00:21:24
    divergent and kind of living as a native
  • 00:21:25
    society for I I always over apologize I
  • 00:21:28
    think being over apologized for my
  • 00:21:30
    existence I think for for so long it's
  • 00:21:32
    been like oh I apologize for for for
  • 00:21:34
    like interrupting people or I apologize
  • 00:21:36
    for thinking differently for being
  • 00:21:38
    different for everything but I
  • 00:21:40
    overcompensate everything
  • 00:21:41
    are you disagreeing changed
  • 00:21:42
    when I kind of come to terms of like
  • 00:21:44
    like when I kind myself with our neurody
  • 00:21:46
    diverse for people we all interrupt each
  • 00:21:49
    other it's trying it's just normalized I
  • 00:21:50
    think how society social construct is
  • 00:21:52
    like it kind of forced us to be in a
  • 00:21:54
    place where like we we felt less than we
  • 00:21:57
    we our difference or we had to over
  • 00:21:59
    compensate our difference and being that
  • 00:22:01
    so for me it's like sometimes I look
  • 00:22:03
    back I was like oh yeah all these times
  • 00:22:05
    when I kind like done all these things I
  • 00:22:07
    had to over apologize
  • 00:22:09
    I personally don't even consider it
  • 00:22:10
    apologizing I I consider it choosing
  • 00:22:13
    peace
  • 00:22:13
    because I've been in relationship ships
  • 00:22:15
    where hypothetical examples sometimes
  • 00:22:18
    would come up like if I was a dog would
  • 00:22:20
    you still love me and you know I used to
  • 00:22:23
    kind of just be the like tell it like it
  • 00:22:26
    is tell you know tell the truth
  • 00:22:27
    or just say my opinion as is unfiltered
  • 00:22:30
    and a lot of times you know what I
  • 00:22:33
    learned as I got older is it's better
  • 00:22:35
    sometimes to understand beyond the
  • 00:22:38
    surface and and just you know either
  • 00:22:40
    apologize or or choose peace at these
  • 00:22:43
    scenarios
  • 00:22:43
    you don't feel like it's placating You
  • 00:22:45
    don't feel like it's
  • 00:22:46
    I because you know sometimes it's you
  • 00:22:48
    know some people want to be told hey do
  • 00:22:50
    you you know tell me you love me and
  • 00:22:53
    it's sometimes it's not easy to just say
  • 00:22:55
    tell me you love me so you come up with
  • 00:22:56
    a hypothetical and you say hey if I gain
  • 00:22:58
    300 lb would you still be with me and
  • 00:23:02
    you know you like let's say you're a
  • 00:23:04
    fitness person and you would probably
  • 00:23:05
    let's say not do it I you know I don't
  • 00:23:08
    think that was the question really right
  • 00:23:10
    you have to see past it and so whenever
  • 00:23:12
    there I've had situations and It's
  • 00:23:14
    mostly in relationships, I'll be honest.
  • 00:23:15
    Like outside of relationships, I'm
  • 00:23:18
    unapologetically
  • 00:23:19
    who I want to be.
  • 00:23:20
    Yeah.
  • 00:23:21
    But in relationships, I'm tend to guard
  • 00:23:24
    her feelings a little bit more. And to
  • 00:23:27
    me, a form of choosing peace is to just
  • 00:23:31
    apologize and make sure that, you know,
  • 00:23:34
    you know, she feels okay about about
  • 00:23:36
    what happened. I
  • 00:23:37
    I think there's like a fine line between
  • 00:23:38
    like sacrificing your own thoughts and
  • 00:23:40
    then also keeping the piece. I think
  • 00:23:42
    that's like um you have to be very aware
  • 00:23:44
    of it between like cuz I hate being a
  • 00:23:46
    people pleaser. I've been told you're a
  • 00:23:47
    people pleaser. Like I just can't
  • 00:23:49
    express myself because what I'm going to
  • 00:23:51
    say is going to hurt somebody and
  • 00:23:52
    they're going to take offense to it and
  • 00:23:54
    that's their choice. Um but at the same
  • 00:23:55
    time there's that flip side where it's
  • 00:23:57
    like you can't like the truth does hurt
  • 00:23:59
    sometimes.
  • 00:24:00
    I made the mistake of saying I'd leave
  • 00:24:01
    her if she was a dog.
  • 00:24:02
    Yeah.
  • 00:24:03
    It didn't go well at all.
  • 00:24:05
    I apologize for my actions and things
  • 00:24:07
    that I've done but I don't apologize for
  • 00:24:08
    me. I I like me. I'm [ __ ] awesome.
  • 00:24:11
    All right. So like I don't feel that
  • 00:24:12
    there's anything I may do something. I
  • 00:24:15
    may say something. I know I have good
  • 00:24:17
    intentions, but if it makes somebody
  • 00:24:18
    feel a certain way, I will apologize for
  • 00:24:20
    that. But that's not apologizing for me
  • 00:24:22
    being me, though. That's that's hey, I
  • 00:24:24
    misspoke. I mis said something or I did
  • 00:24:26
    something. But me as as who I am, I I
  • 00:24:29
    don't feel like I have much to apologize
  • 00:24:31
    for.
  • 00:24:31
    That makes a lot of sense with like
  • 00:24:32
    friends that you can cut easy. But like
  • 00:24:34
    I mean a lot of us, I think, talked
  • 00:24:36
    about it this way. But especially for
  • 00:24:37
    me, it's like my family, my wife, people
  • 00:24:39
    that I'm not going to just be like,
  • 00:24:40
    "Well, I could just go find other
  • 00:24:41
    people."
  • 00:24:42
    Do you do you ever feel like how do you
  • 00:24:44
    deal with it when it's like your friends
  • 00:24:45
    or or your sorry, your family or someone
  • 00:24:47
    you're close to like in a relationship
  • 00:24:48
    with?
  • 00:24:48
    I've had to cut my family off at a
  • 00:24:50
    certain point. Like I've gone no contact
  • 00:24:52
    for many years, okay?
  • 00:24:54
    Because again, I like who I am and I'm
  • 00:24:56
    not going to change who I am just to fit
  • 00:24:57
    within the family dynamic and so forth.
  • 00:24:59
    But it but through that we found a way
  • 00:25:02
    to work with each other, understand each
  • 00:25:03
    other a lot better, and then now I'm
  • 00:25:05
    back in the family being
  • 00:25:07
    unapologetically me, but they accept me
  • 00:25:09
    because they're like, "Hey, that's who
  • 00:25:10
    he is."
  • 00:25:10
    Do you think cutting yourself off was
  • 00:25:12
    necessary for them to get that?
  • 00:25:13
    I think it was necessary just given the
  • 00:25:14
    situation that um we needed some space
  • 00:25:16
    so we could both kind of understand what
  • 00:25:18
    was going on.
  • 00:25:19
    Okay.
  • 00:25:20
    For me, it's just agreeing to disagree.
  • 00:25:21
    Like my mom is the complete opposite of
  • 00:25:23
    me politically and she loves to talk
  • 00:25:24
    politics. That's a, you know, recipe for
  • 00:25:26
    disaster for some people. For me, I just
  • 00:25:28
    I talk with her. we get into a debate
  • 00:25:30
    and at the end of the day we both just
  • 00:25:31
    accept, hey, we're going to agree to
  • 00:25:33
    disagree. It's fine. Not everybody has
  • 00:25:35
    to agree with me. I may think I'm right
  • 00:25:37
    and I'm gonna defend what I think is
  • 00:25:38
    right, but at the end of the
  • 00:25:39
    conversation, I don't care if you agree
  • 00:25:41
    with me. Unless you're on my jury, I
  • 00:25:43
    don't really need you to agree with me
  • 00:25:45
    at the end of the whole exchange.
  • 00:25:46
    I do think there should be at least some
  • 00:25:49
    care for at least for the people that
  • 00:25:50
    you love because I like how you said
  • 00:25:52
    about um neurode divergence about how
  • 00:25:55
    come off as like combative because you
  • 00:25:56
    want to tell the truth. know that you're
  • 00:25:58
    talking. And so like as males, it's a
  • 00:26:01
    way different perspective when you are
  • 00:26:04
    coming off as that to a to a female. And
  • 00:26:06
    so I believe that yes, we should be each
  • 00:26:08
    other, but we should also acknowledge
  • 00:26:10
    when we do hurt someone. Um because
  • 00:26:12
    sometimes that's not there. And even
  • 00:26:14
    myself, I remember one time I was
  • 00:26:15
    walking on the street and this woman
  • 00:26:17
    kept turning behind and I was like, "Oh,
  • 00:26:19
    what's behind me?" But then I realized I
  • 00:26:21
    was a person that she was afraid of. And
  • 00:26:23
    so yeah, so like there's things that I
  • 00:26:25
    apologize like, "Oh, I'm so sorry." So I
  • 00:26:27
    make sure to step on the opposite side
  • 00:26:29
    of the sidewalk so that they're
  • 00:26:30
    comfortable. So I agree we should be
  • 00:26:31
    ourselves, but if we can acknowledge
  • 00:26:33
    that, that goes a long way to the other
  • 00:26:35
    person.
  • 00:26:36
    It's taken me a long time to figure out
  • 00:26:38
    my own identity or feeling comforted by
  • 00:26:41
    not fitting any of the facets that
  • 00:26:43
    intersectionally make up who I am. Um, I
  • 00:26:46
    view myself as a fully Asian man, as a
  • 00:26:48
    fully black man, as a fully queer man,
  • 00:26:50
    as a veteran, stuff like that. like it's
  • 00:26:52
    who I am and I don't feel like I have to
  • 00:26:54
    conform to each one of those
  • 00:26:56
    demographics expectations or even my own
  • 00:26:58
    expectations of that cuz I'm just living
  • 00:27:00
    my life. I'm really proud of who I am.
  • 00:27:01
    as I kind of got older and realizing
  • 00:27:04
    that like I don't really fit in the box
  • 00:27:06
    and that's okay and kind of just fully
  • 00:27:08
    embracing my authentic self during the
  • 00:27:09
    past five years now like learning to do
  • 00:27:11
    that and just like unlearning why
  • 00:27:13
    society told me to be certain way and I
  • 00:27:15
    kind of realized I shouldn't have to and
  • 00:27:17
    it's okay to be me and it's okay to be
  • 00:27:19
    navigate the world like how I am
  • 00:27:21
    designed to be before I got into the
  • 00:27:24
    world of adult entertainment because
  • 00:27:25
    there's not a lot of Asian male
  • 00:27:27
    performers in this industry I knew that
  • 00:27:29
    I couldn't exactly hide it So, I had a
  • 00:27:32
    conversation with my parents first and
  • 00:27:34
    foremost to be like, "Hey, this is
  • 00:27:35
    what's this is what's going on." And
  • 00:27:38
    just out of pure courtesy, I'm going to
  • 00:27:40
    tell you guys that I'm I'm planning on
  • 00:27:42
    doing this. And that was the first time
  • 00:27:43
    in my life, my parents were like, "You
  • 00:27:45
    know what? You're an adult. You know
  • 00:27:46
    what you're doing. We we trust that you
  • 00:27:49
    have a good head on your shoulders, that
  • 00:27:51
    you know what's best for your life.
  • 00:27:52
    We're going to support you however we
  • 00:27:54
    can." And I feel like I think that's the
  • 00:27:56
    most that's when I felt the most
  • 00:27:57
    celebrated was for my parents after that
  • 00:27:59
    long journey to finally accept me for
  • 00:28:02
    being who I am and to support me in my
  • 00:28:04
    journey in life. So that was a really
  • 00:28:07
    great feeling.
  • 00:28:09
    I like you brother
  • 00:28:16
    [Music]
  • 00:28:17
    I'll meet you in a month soon. So
  • 00:28:22
    I've been DMing two games. Actually, I
  • 00:28:23
    have another goddess.
Etiquetas
  • masculinity
  • loneliness
  • emotional expression
  • friendship
  • vulnerability
  • societal expectations
  • cultural background
  • community
  • self-acceptance
  • mental health