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I want to start off my talk this evening
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by asking a few questions if any of
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these questions apply to you please
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kindly raise your hand
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question number one have any of you here
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ever felt like you've been held hostage
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in a conversation before you may lower
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your hands thank you
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question number two have any of you here
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ever been part of a conversation where
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you know the person talking could have
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said what they needed to say much faster
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and with many fewer words this is my
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last question this is going to tell me
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how honest and real of an audience you
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guys are this evening how many of you
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have been the person in a conversation
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talking way longer than you needed to be
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a couple you got shy with that last
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question well the title of my talk this
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evening is the art of effective
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communication and I want to define those
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terms communication can be simply
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defined as the delivering of information
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now effective communication is when that
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information is actually received by your
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audience because it doesn't matter how
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great your delivery is your
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communication is ineffective if the
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information isn't actually received by
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your audience and I'll take it a step
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further not only should information be
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received by your audience but it also
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needs to be understood by your audience
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here's an example let's say I put you in
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front of a computer on that computer
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screen as a bunch of computer
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programming if you're not a computer
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programmer that information makes no
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sense to you
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so although the information has been
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delivered without understanding the
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information in front of you that
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information is useless and I want to
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take it a step further I truly believe
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that communication is mostly effective
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when your audience is able to take the
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information that you've given them and
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then relay it to another third party
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because that shows you that they truly
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got it they truly receive the
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information and they truly understood it
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to the point where they're able to share
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it with someone else now I want to
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define art art is really it's going with
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the flow
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it's being in the zone it's being
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present and adjusting as necessary
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because you can have all the structure
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in the world but you have to learn how
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to navigate through conversations you
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may need to navigate through questions
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or rebuttals or comments that you may
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never have heard before and
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communication really is an art form
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it's like a song-and-dance communication
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kind of reminds me of painting a
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painting let's say your original idea
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was to make a left stroke with the color
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orange but in the middle of the process
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you decide that a right stroke with the
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color yellow is more appropriate it's
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about being in the zone and adjusting as
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necessary so why should we even care
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about effective communication well we
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should care about effective
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communication because these are some of
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the results of ineffective communication
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number one on the list is wasted time we
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waste so much time due to ineffective
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communication and I highly doubt anyone
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here wants to waste their time on
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purpose secondly we also waste emotions
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to see along with wasted time
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conversations dragged on much longer
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than they need to and with that our
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emotions dragged on much longer than
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they need to see ineffective
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communication also leads to
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misunderstandings and misunderstandings
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could lead to the eventual loss of
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relationships
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has anyone ever lost a relationship due
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to a misunderstanding so you see the
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need for effective communication now I'm
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not here to proselytize but outside of
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this forum I share my Christian faith a
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lot and over the years in doing so I've
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literally had thousands of conversations
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with thousands of different people and
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these people are from every background
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and walk of life you can imagine and you
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know what I've learned from that
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experience no two conversations are ever
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the same and that's because no two
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people are ever the same now there may
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be similarities but you will never find
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a carbon-copy conversation so you have
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to learn how to navigate through
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questions and rebuttals you may need to
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explain an idea in a different way if
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your audience didn't receive it the
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first time so your job is a
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Euna cater is to deliver a message and
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make sure that message is received and
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understood by your audience point-blank
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that's it
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anything that stops or hinders your
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audience from receiving that information
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it needs to be removed from your speech
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and this includes removing things like
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extra words extra stories and even extra
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emotions see one of the biggest
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hindrances to effective communication is
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talking for way longer than we need to
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and this is not only because we're
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dealing with people's short attention
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spans but when you talk longer than
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necessary you become an emotional burden
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have you ever felt drained after having
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a conversation with someone no that's no
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one here right I'm talking to a
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different audience you feel drained and
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see this brings up a very serious issue
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there are people out there that suffer
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from a very serious disease and you in
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the audience you may know someone who
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suffers from this disease and this
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disease is commonly known as diarrhea of
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the mouth where it feels like a dam just
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broken the floodwaters are gushing out
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these people will literally use just
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about every word in the English language
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and yet make no point oh it's a problem
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see problems arise when communication
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and conversations become more about the
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person wanting to be heard than actually
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delivering information now there's a
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mathematical phrase that says the
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shortest distance between two points is
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a straight line
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now this can refer to direct
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communication because after all a
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straight line gets straight to the point
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not giving third-party comments and
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hoping that your message gets across to
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your audience here's an example let's
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say you're angry at someone instead of
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directly telling them that you're angry
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instead of directly telling them why
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you're angry and potentially sitting
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down and coming to a peaceful resolution
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you may give them the cold shoulder you
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might leave their texts on read I can't
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stay
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that by the way you might huff and puff
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when you're around them and slam doors
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not that any of you here have ever done
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that but we do all these things hoping
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that this message will get across that
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they'll understand that I'm mad at them
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instead of directly telling them that
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I'm mad at them see when you speak you
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need to understand that simplicity is
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key Albert Einstein once said that if
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you can't explain it simply you don't
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understand it well enough I'll say that
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again Albert Einstein once said that if
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you can't explain it simply you don't
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understand it well enough now one of the
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biggest things is defining your terms
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defining your terms is huge and this is
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why you can end up using the same word
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as someone else and having different
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definitions as to what that word means
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and one of the best ways to clear this
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up is by asking the following question
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what does that mean to you what does
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that word mean to you what does that
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phrase mean to you what does that
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sentence mean to you because that will
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clear up confusion now before you start
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you need to know what your end goal is
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what do I want my audience to receive
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what's the information or message that I
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want them to receive you know I'm a huge
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fan of the TV show the office we have
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any office Branson here yeah my people I
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love it so writing the speech reminded
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me of a scene from The Office there's a
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scene where Michael Scott is talking to
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his boss David Wallace David wants to
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know why his branch is so successful and
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Michael says David my philosophy is
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basically this don't ever for any reason
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under any circumstance whatsoever and
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he's literally just rambling on and on
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and later on he goes to be interviewed
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by the camera and he says sometimes I'll
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start a sentence and I don't even know
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where it's going I just hope I find it
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along the way now that's funny
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on TV not so much when we're dealing
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with people one-on-one in the real world
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I truly feel that one of the biggest
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things if not the biggest thing that
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effective communication requires is the
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following humility
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humility is key when it comes to
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effective communication and there are
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really two keys to humility number one
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is that you can always be wrong you can
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always be wrong when you understand that
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you can always be wrong you can still
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present confidently but when you
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understand that you can be wrong you are
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then willing and able to listen to
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opposing viewpoints listening to other
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people's opinions listening to other
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people's arguments and their facts the
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second key to humility is this it is not
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about you it's about your audience see
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when you understand that it's not about
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you and it's about your audience you
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will then present information the best
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way that your audience will receive it
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not necessarily the way you think it
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best sounds now there's three things I
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want to point out two of them you might
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be familiar with already you may have
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heard it said it's not what you say but
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it's how you say it well guess what it
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is what you say you have to know what
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you're talking about one of the worst
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things is being a part of a conversation
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listening to someone talk about
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something you know they know nothing
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about and secondly it is how you say a
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tone allottee matters you know if you're
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speaking to someone with a harsh or
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abrasive tone if you're angry or
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condescending towards them or any number
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of negative tones that will hinder your
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audience from receiving your message and
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I want to add a third layer to this
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because it's not just what is said or
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how it's said but the third layer is
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this is what's being said coming from a
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trustworthy source see Trust is a big
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part of communication if your audience
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doesn't trust you then your words will
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fall on deaf ears and it's really
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interesting how reputation ties into
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this because see if your reputation is a
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hot mess no one will listen to a word
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you say and why should they
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why should anyone listen to the words
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you say when your life speaks a
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different message contrary to what
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you're preaching and if you're taking
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notes this evening I want you to write
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this down because I want you
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take this home your actions will either
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promote or nullify your words I'll say
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that again your actions will either
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promote or nullify your words see direct
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communication and effective
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communication is a two-way street what
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do I mean by that that means that if
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you're not the one speaking and
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communicating you should be actively
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listening you shouldn't focus on more
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than one thing at a time and you should
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give your focus your attention and your
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respect to the speaker the same way you
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would want it if you were the one
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speaking see effective communication
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saves time it saves emotions and it can
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quite possibly save relationships aren't
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these things worth saving thank you guys
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for your time
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[Applause]
