The #1 CONFIDENCE HACK: Become Socially Invincible

00:31:48
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGXaEL7O64U

Summary

TLDRIn this insightful speech, the speaker delves into the inevitability of criticism in life, urging individuals to embrace their authenticity rather than seeking universal approval. They challenge the idea of controlling how others perceive us, promoting a more liberating view of freedom of thought. The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-worth being independent of external validation, encouraging individuals to focus on how they feel about themselves and to celebrate small wins in their journey. It suggests that personal growth involves reflecting on one's internal values and letting go of conditioned beliefs about self-worth.

Takeaways

  • đź’ˇ Embrace authenticity over pleasing everyone.
  • đź‘Ą Criticism is an inevitable part of life.
  • 🕊️ Freedom of thought allows for differing opinions.
  • 🌟 Self-worth is independent of external validation.
  • âś… Celebrate small wins to build momentum.
  • 🎯 Focus on internal feelings rather than seeking approval.
  • đź’Ş You are good enough regardless of achievements.
  • đź“… Enjoy the present moment instead of constantly pursuing future goals.
  • 👶 Reconnect with the childlike joy and wonder in life.
  • 🧠 Understand that past experiences shape current beliefs about self-worth.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    People will criticize you regardless of who you are or how authentic you try to be. It’s a reality that you must accept instead of trying to control others’ perceptions of you. This desire to please everyone often leads to disconnection from your true self.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    The struggle for everyone to like you can often be futile. It's natural that not everyone will click, and it's important to embrace differences rather than seeking universal approval. We all agree on some subjects and disagree on others, and that’s okay.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    People try to morph themselves into social chameleons to please others, which ultimately backfires. Instead of seeking approval from others, one must focus on self-worth and identity from within, recognizing that opinions do not define them.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    Looking externally for validation is common, especially in today’s world with social media. Instead, valuable self-reflection can help one cultivate self-esteem independently from external feedback, focusing on how one feels about themselves.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    Self-worth isn’t tied to external factors, and this realization leads to freedom. Life can seem heavy and serious when one becomes overly concerned with how they are perceived, leading to unnecessary micro-managing of self-image.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:31:48

    To feel fulfilled and enjoy life, it’s essential to bring back that childlike joy and wonder. Celebrate small wins, align your work with your interests, and embrace the present rather than obsessing over what’s ahead. Find fulfillment in the now rather than validating your worth through achievements or external approval.

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Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • What is the main message of the video?

    The main message is to embrace authenticity and understand that criticism is a natural part of life, rather than seeking approval from others.

  • How should one deal with criticism?

    It's important to accept that criticism will happen and not let it affect your self-worth.

  • What does the speaker mean by 'freedom of thought'?

    Freedom of thought refers to allowing others to think what they want about you without trying to control their perceptions.

  • How can someone improve their self-worth?

    By knowing their true worth and not depending on external validation for self-esteem.

  • What is a key suggestion for personal growth?

    Reflect internally and ask how you feel about yourself, rather than seeking external confirmation.

  • Why is it important to celebrate small wins?

    Celebrating small wins helps build momentum and a positive attitude, making the journey enjoyable.

  • What does the speaker suggest about the pursuit of goals?

    Goals should not define your worth; instead, find joy in the present moment and your current situation.

  • How does childhood experience affect adult perceptions?

    Many perceptions and beliefs about self-worth are shaped during childhood based on external feedback and experiences.

  • What does the speaker say about work and fun?

    Making work enjoyable and embracing a playful attitude towards tasks can lead to greater fulfillment.

  • What's the advice for those feeling inadequate?

    Understand that you are good enough regardless of other people's opinions or your achievements.

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  • 00:00:00
    - No matter what you do, no matter who you are,
  • 00:00:02
    no matter how fake or authentic you are,
  • 00:00:05
    there are people who are not going to like you
  • 00:00:07
    and there are people who will criticize you.
  • 00:00:09
    You cannot avoid that.
  • 00:00:11
    That is going against reality,
  • 00:00:13
    and ultimately, trying to avoid it, which people do.
  • 00:00:16
    They try to control how other people see them,
  • 00:00:19
    they try to control how they come off,
  • 00:00:21
    how they express themselves.
  • 00:00:23
    What are you ultimately trying to be,
  • 00:00:25
    the thought police of you.
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    I'm sure you've heard this term before, right?
  • 00:00:29
    Thought police. Here's what you're allowed to think.
  • 00:00:30
    Here's what you're not allowed to think.
  • 00:00:32
    Here is what everyone is allowed to think about me,
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    only good thoughts.
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    No one can criticize me or I will censor you!
  • 00:00:41
    You'll get de-platformed.
  • 00:00:43
    No one can think negatively of me.
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    Only these thoughts are allowed.
  • 00:00:48
    This is the Julian policy, these thoughts,
  • 00:00:51
    good thoughts only, or you'll be de-platformed and silenced.
  • 00:00:55
    That's what we all do, funny enough.
  • 00:00:58
    What about giving people the freedom
  • 00:00:59
    to think whatever they want about you?
  • 00:01:01
    And what's so bad about someone thinking negatively of you?
  • 00:01:04
    Why does it affect you?
  • 00:01:05
    Why is your self-worth attached to that?
  • 00:01:08
    And that's something to think about.
  • 00:01:09
    "Well, wait a minute, why am I trying to control everyone?
  • 00:01:13
    Control perception.
  • 00:01:14
    Why don't I believe in freedom of thought,
  • 00:01:17
    freedom of speech?"
  • 00:01:19
    It's funny, everyone online is like, "Freedom of speech,
  • 00:01:21
    but not when it comes to me."
  • 00:01:22
    "Everything else, not me."
  • 00:01:25
    What? Let people criticize you.
  • 00:01:28
    It's okay. So what?
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    It's gonna happen, and that's the other thing.
  • 00:01:34
    Don't buy into this lie
  • 00:01:35
    that you're meant to get along with everyone.
  • 00:01:37
    That's not natural.
  • 00:01:39
    We're conditioned this way.
  • 00:01:40
    Hey, there's three tips I can share with you now
  • 00:01:44
    that will make anyone like you.
  • 00:01:47
    Do you want to know what those tips are?
  • 00:01:49
    Everyone's like, "Yes."
  • 00:01:50
    "Anyone, I want all of them to like me."
  • 00:01:54
    Did anyone watch, "Rick and Morty"?
  • 00:01:57
    There's the recent season
  • 00:01:58
    where this president wants a 100% approval rate,
  • 00:02:01
    that's what we're all trying to do.
  • 00:02:02
    "I want a 100% approval rate of me."
  • 00:02:05
    It's like, no.
  • 00:02:07
    Let people also dislike you,
  • 00:02:10
    and realize that there is such a thing
  • 00:02:12
    as natural chemistry.
  • 00:02:14
    There is.
  • 00:02:15
    When it comes to romantic relationships, friendships,
  • 00:02:18
    and anyone, and everyone.
  • 00:02:20
    There's some people you just click with,
  • 00:02:22
    and some people you don't.
  • 00:02:24
    And just because you don't click with someone,
  • 00:02:26
    doesn't mean that they are bad or inferior,
  • 00:02:29
    it just means that they are different,
  • 00:02:31
    and that's the thing to take in.
  • 00:02:32
    We are all equal, but we are all different.
  • 00:02:34
    All of us are different.
  • 00:02:36
    Say, right now,
  • 00:02:37
    we were all to talk about our favorite movie.
  • 00:02:39
    Are we all gonna agree on the best movie of all time?
  • 00:02:41
    - [Student] No. - Yes? No?
  • 00:02:42
    No. So wait, who's the better one or the worst one?
  • 00:02:45
    - [Student] "Forrest Gump."
  • 00:02:46
    - Someone's like, "Well, 'Forrest Gump.'"
  • 00:02:47
    (students laughing) You're right.
  • 00:02:48
    Anyone who disagrees with "Forrest Gump"?
  • 00:02:49
    (students laughing)
  • 00:02:51
    No, there's some where you're like,
  • 00:02:52
    "Oh, I agree with this and that."
  • 00:02:54
    Do you agree with everything your friends think?
  • 00:02:56
    - [Students] No. - No?
  • 00:02:57
    Do you agree with everything your family thinks,
  • 00:02:59
    or even your partner, or your kids think, yes, no?
  • 00:03:01
    - [Students] No. - No, and that's natural.
  • 00:03:04
    You're like, "I do."
  • 00:03:06
    The only way to do that, if you want everyone to like you,
  • 00:03:11
    is to be the fakest person ever, that's it.
  • 00:03:14
    It's to be this social chameleon,
  • 00:03:17
    where ultimately, it's like, what's your favorite movie?
  • 00:03:21
    - [Student] Star Wars. - Star Wars? Me too.
  • 00:03:23
    What's your favorite movie? - [Student] I don't have one.
  • 00:03:24
    - You don't have one? Me too.
  • 00:03:26
    Screw movies. (students laughing)
  • 00:03:27
    What's your favorite movie?
  • 00:03:28
    - The Wolf of Wall Street. - Me too.
  • 00:03:30
    And you're just morphing depending on who you talk to.
  • 00:03:33
    And then people go the extreme route with this,
  • 00:03:35
    where they're like, "I want to improve my social skills."
  • 00:03:37
    But the way that they try to improve their social skills
  • 00:03:39
    is they're trying to improve
  • 00:03:41
    their social chameleon morphing skills.
  • 00:03:44
    For real.
  • 00:03:45
    And they are changing demeanor all the time,
  • 00:03:48
    and it's all under this people-pleasing, needy,
  • 00:03:51
    approval addiction place, right?
  • 00:03:55
    Notice, he's like, "I am, but not anymore." (laughing)
  • 00:03:58
    It's like, come back, sir, it's okay.
  • 00:04:01
    It's okay if people think negatively of you. (laughing)
  • 00:04:05
    It won't hurt your self worth.
  • 00:04:08
    Now, here's the thing, how do you break out of that?
  • 00:04:11
    So, number one, it's realizing for yourself who you are
  • 00:04:14
    and your worth.
  • 00:04:15
    Knowing who you are at a core.
  • 00:04:17
    It's the good old blue hair example,
  • 00:04:19
    which you probably heard me talk about online, okay?
  • 00:04:21
    I posted some clips,
  • 00:04:23
    they always go viral with the blue hair.
  • 00:04:24
    Where, ultimately, say I came up to you and I said,
  • 00:04:27
    "Fuck your blue hair, I hate it," to any of you.
  • 00:04:30
    Are you gonna take offense?
  • 00:04:32
    What if I said, "Fuck your purple hair"
  • 00:04:34
    You're like, "Damn it." (students laughing)
  • 00:04:36
    No, you're not gonna take offense,
  • 00:04:38
    'cause you're like, "I don't have blue hair."
  • 00:04:40
    The same with what people think of you.
  • 00:04:42
    "You're not good enough."
  • 00:04:43
    "No, I know I'm good enough," you won't take offense to it.
  • 00:04:47
    Now, when I post this, there's always a common saying,
  • 00:04:50
    "Yeah, but that's like physical attributes.
  • 00:04:52
    "What if it's things that are true like,
  • 00:04:53
    you know, you suck, et cetera."
  • 00:04:55
    I'm like, "Well, why do you believe those things are true?
  • 00:04:58
    Why are you letting others dictate your self-worth?
  • 00:05:01
    Why are you always looking externally?"
  • 00:05:03
    Now, social media will do this too,
  • 00:05:05
    YouTube will do this too,
  • 00:05:06
    how-to videos will do this too, where nowadays,
  • 00:05:09
    any problem that we have, what's the first thing we do?
  • 00:05:11
    We reach for our phone and we YouTube or Google it.
  • 00:05:13
    "How to fix XYZ.
  • 00:05:15
    How to do this, this, this.
  • 00:05:16
    Chat GPT, tell me how to do this."
  • 00:05:18
    Always looking externally.
  • 00:05:20
    Before looking externally,
  • 00:05:22
    this little habit will make a be big change by the way,
  • 00:05:24
    ask yourself, "If I were not to look,
  • 00:05:27
    if no one were to ever gimme the answer,
  • 00:05:29
    what would be my own answer?"
  • 00:05:31
    And this forces you to start, again,
  • 00:05:33
    creating this sense of authority over yourself
  • 00:05:35
    and trust over yourself
  • 00:05:36
    and actually valuing your own opinion.
  • 00:05:40
    'Cause otherwise, it's no different than,
  • 00:05:42
    and I experienced this growing up.
  • 00:05:43
    Teacher asks a question in class, you know the answer,
  • 00:05:46
    but you're afraid of putting it out there,
  • 00:05:47
    writing it down until you see someone else
  • 00:05:50
    have the same answer.
  • 00:05:50
    It's like looking over to your neighbor,
  • 00:05:51
    it's like, "Oh, they wrote that down too.
  • 00:05:53
    Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too."
  • 00:05:54
    Why I was looking externally first?
  • 00:05:57
    Now, we're also conditioned this way.
  • 00:05:59
    If you want a quick glimpse into parenthood,
  • 00:06:01
    one thing I try to never ever, ever, ever, ever say
  • 00:06:06
    to my kids when they do something great.
  • 00:06:08
    Like say my daughter comes up,
  • 00:06:09
    "Dad, dad, I drew this picture for you, look."
  • 00:06:13
    And it's a beautiful picture.
  • 00:06:15
    The thing I try to never say is, "Good job, I love it."
  • 00:06:19
    What do I say instead? Can you guess?
  • 00:06:22
    It sucks. Better, do better.
  • 00:06:25
    No, I'm kidding. (students laughing)
  • 00:06:27
    What do I say instead?
  • 00:06:28
    I ask her, "How do you feel about it?"
  • 00:06:32
    'Cause what does that do,
  • 00:06:33
    then it gets her to start thinking internally,
  • 00:06:35
    how do I feel about what I just created here?
  • 00:06:37
    And then whatever she says, I'll reaffirm.
  • 00:06:41
    'Cause otherwise, what if I'm always the one saying,
  • 00:06:43
    "Good job, you did great. Oh, I love it.
  • 00:06:44
    That's the best drawing ever."
  • 00:06:47
    It creates this, always look an external perspective
  • 00:06:50
    and it's gonna train her
  • 00:06:51
    to become the ultimate people pleaser.
  • 00:06:54
    "I did this. Do you like it, do you like it?"
  • 00:06:55
    It's not good enough unless I get the external feedback
  • 00:06:57
    that is good enough versus looking within.
  • 00:07:00
    How do you feel about it?
  • 00:07:01
    And the same with you and yourself.
  • 00:07:03
    How do you feel about you?
  • 00:07:06
    And it doesn't matter what anyone out there thinks.
  • 00:07:08
    You could be 100 people saying, "You suck,
  • 00:07:10
    you suck, you suck."
  • 00:07:12
    They don't know you. Only you know you.
  • 00:07:15
    So why do they have any say in the matter?
  • 00:07:17
    It's all just projection and speculation.
  • 00:07:20
    Funny enough, the same here.
  • 00:07:21
    Do any of you know me? Yes? No?
  • 00:07:25
    No.
  • 00:07:26
    It's funny too with the whole, again, social media,
  • 00:07:28
    internet dynamic, how you'll see some videos,
  • 00:07:31
    but if you realistically sit down, you're like,
  • 00:07:34
    "How much do I actually know about this person?"
  • 00:07:37
    Just a little bit.
  • 00:07:39
    You don't know what I'm like outside of seminar mode
  • 00:07:42
    or coaching mode.
  • 00:07:43
    You don't know what I do in my day-to-day life.
  • 00:07:45
    You don't know what my interests are.
  • 00:07:46
    You see this little glimpse, and what happens?
  • 00:07:49
    You project and fill in the blanks.
  • 00:07:51
    And even the bit that you see,
  • 00:07:53
    you will filter it through your own thoughts.
  • 00:07:57
    Which is why some people might see my videos
  • 00:07:59
    and they're like, "Hey, this guy's awesome."
  • 00:08:01
    And some others like, "This guy sucks."
  • 00:08:03
    And then they fill in the blank.
  • 00:08:04
    "He's probably like this. He does this.
  • 00:08:05
    He just got outta bed before the speech."
  • 00:08:08
    Which is true. (students laughing)
  • 00:08:11
    No. Well, it depends, depends.
  • 00:08:15
    But notice how they'll fill in all these blanks.
  • 00:08:17
    "Those are what his intentions are."
  • 00:08:18
    It's like, "Do they know me?" No.
  • 00:08:21
    So why are you taking speculation
  • 00:08:23
    and projection over what you know about yourself?
  • 00:08:27
    Now the quick immediate judgment is,
  • 00:08:29
    "Well, okay, well who am I?
  • 00:08:31
    What do I know about myself?"
  • 00:08:33
    But you gotta go deeper than that.
  • 00:08:34
    'Cause who you even think you are here today
  • 00:08:36
    for the most part is conditioned,
  • 00:08:38
    if you've been looking externally for a long time,
  • 00:08:40
    by many, many, many years of external feedback.
  • 00:08:44
    And this is where letting go is so powerful.
  • 00:08:46
    It's diving into the core and being like,
  • 00:08:47
    "Okay, who am I really?
  • 00:08:50
    How do I feel about myself really?
  • 00:08:53
    And then can I detach my self worth from the external?"
  • 00:08:57
    And it's not just approval, it's anything.
  • 00:08:59
    The same with success.
  • 00:09:00
    For any of you who've been on this road to self-improvement
  • 00:09:04
    or even business, it's not this linear progression.
  • 00:09:07
    You go up and down and up and down
  • 00:09:09
    and then you move up as doing so.
  • 00:09:10
    But there's crashes, you burn out, things fall apart.
  • 00:09:15
    Guess what?
  • 00:09:16
    In my whole journey, I started working on myself in 2006,
  • 00:09:18
    coaching in 2010.
  • 00:09:19
    There were crazy up and downs, right?
  • 00:09:21
    Before coaching and stuff, before 2010, working on myself,
  • 00:09:25
    but I was doing a ton of minimum wage jobs.
  • 00:09:27
    I was homeless a couple times, living outside in my car,
  • 00:09:29
    sometimes a friend's place.
  • 00:09:31
    So this other place I talk about with cockroaches everywhere
  • 00:09:33
    that would lay eggs in my computer.
  • 00:09:35
    I went from that to suddenly traveling the world,
  • 00:09:38
    making a lot of money.
  • 00:09:39
    Then I lost it all when I was like 250
  • 00:09:41
    or more thousand in debt.
  • 00:09:43
    And then I built...
  • 00:09:44
    It's up and down, up and down.
  • 00:09:45
    What if I keep trying to find myself in that?
  • 00:09:48
    Then you're literally at the mercy of that thing.
  • 00:09:51
    If you try to find yourself in the approval of others,
  • 00:09:54
    you're at the mercy of the approval of others.
  • 00:09:56
    And then what you notice is your level of self-esteem
  • 00:09:59
    can like forever fluctuates.
  • 00:10:01
    One day you're up, and the next day down.
  • 00:10:04
    The same with how you look. People do this a lot.
  • 00:10:06
    When I look good,
  • 00:10:08
    when I don't.
  • 00:10:10
    When I have money,
  • 00:10:11
    when I don't.
  • 00:10:13
    Constant up and down versus hey, this is me
  • 00:10:16
    and I'm here no matter what.
  • 00:10:18
    Nothing out there determines my self-worth.
  • 00:10:23
    And then look into the different paradigms
  • 00:10:24
    or beliefs that you buy into.
  • 00:10:26
    If you're like, you know, it's all about,
  • 00:10:29
    it's all about the money.
  • 00:10:30
    It's like, well when did you start believing
  • 00:10:32
    the money determines your self-worth?
  • 00:10:35
    And reflect back on your childhood,
  • 00:10:36
    does a baby think that?
  • 00:10:39
    When you were born you're like, here I am.
  • 00:10:41
    Oh, my parents are broke, no.
  • 00:10:43
    Low self-worth baby, no.
  • 00:10:45
    You don't think that.
  • 00:10:47
    So all this stuff got programmed into you
  • 00:10:49
    and this is why you hear me talk so much about confidence.
  • 00:10:52
    It's not about adding more
  • 00:10:53
    and it's not about perfecting your little coping,
  • 00:10:56
    manipulative, social chameleon skills.
  • 00:10:59
    It's about detaching all that
  • 00:11:01
    and realizing you are good enough
  • 00:11:03
    and you've always been good enough.
  • 00:11:04
    The problem is, things have convinced you you aren't.
  • 00:11:08
    Experiences, people, life,
  • 00:11:11
    and you started forming the shell,
  • 00:11:13
    you started disowning parts of who you are
  • 00:11:15
    and then here you are.
  • 00:11:16
    How do I get better?
  • 00:11:18
    It's not about adding, it's about removing.
  • 00:11:20
    Remove the conditioning.
  • 00:11:23
    And this gets you back in touch
  • 00:11:24
    with a very childlike state, funny enough,
  • 00:11:27
    plus the experience and intellect of an adult.
  • 00:11:31
    And that's where you're truly unstoppable.
  • 00:11:33
    And this is where you can also audit your life
  • 00:11:34
    and ask yourself, how often do you laugh and giggle
  • 00:11:37
    and have fun and play and use your imagination?
  • 00:11:40
    When's the last time you were like smiling to the point
  • 00:11:43
    where it hurt.
  • 00:11:45
    For a lot of people they can't remember.
  • 00:11:46
    They're like, oh, maybe once a month, once every two months.
  • 00:11:49
    What? What's going on there?
  • 00:11:51
    When did life start being this heavy, serious thing?
  • 00:11:55
    When did you start caring so much about every little thing
  • 00:11:58
    and just notice that draining, that like the energy
  • 00:12:01
    that just gets drained from you when you do, right?
  • 00:12:04
    You were saying before, it's like I feel drained and stuff.
  • 00:12:06
    Well that's 'cause on one end you're micro analyzing
  • 00:12:10
    and managing the way you come off.
  • 00:12:13
    Meaning, at any point in time, by the way,
  • 00:12:14
    for any of you who ever run out of things to say,
  • 00:12:17
    that's not possible by the way,
  • 00:12:18
    'cause you've been alive X amount of years,
  • 00:12:20
    you have a lot to say.
  • 00:12:22
    That's like, it's ultimately an injustice to life, right?
  • 00:12:25
    It's like, "Hey, I've been alive this long
  • 00:12:27
    and I have nothing to say in this moment."
  • 00:12:29
    Really, nothing to say about life? Nothing?
  • 00:12:31
    You're like, "Nope".
  • 00:12:33
    No, you have things to say,
  • 00:12:34
    the problem is you're filtering it.
  • 00:12:36
    And if you run outta things to say a lot,
  • 00:12:38
    your filter is way too high.
  • 00:12:40
    Meaning, here's everything I could say.
  • 00:12:41
    Is this good enough? Nah.
  • 00:12:42
    This good enough? Nah.
  • 00:12:43
    Nah, nah. Oh maybe this.
  • 00:12:45
    Nah nah. Drop the filter.
  • 00:12:48
    Do kids filter themselves? No.
  • 00:12:51
    Now does that mean say anything
  • 00:12:53
    and everything at all times?
  • 00:12:55
    Of course not.
  • 00:12:56
    And that's where social intelligence, empathy,
  • 00:12:58
    learning how to connect
  • 00:12:59
    and read with other people comes into play.
  • 00:13:02
    But then unlike a kid, it's outta choice.
  • 00:13:05
    Versus obligation is, Hey,
  • 00:13:07
    here's what would make sense,
  • 00:13:08
    within that here's all the things I could say.
  • 00:13:10
    And you let it loose.
  • 00:13:12
    And the same with work.
  • 00:13:13
    When did work start being this heavy serious thing?
  • 00:13:16
    When's the last time
  • 00:13:16
    you just giggled yourself at your computer?
  • 00:13:19
    Now when I say this, people are like,
  • 00:13:20
    well it's easy for you to say, Julian,
  • 00:13:21
    you're just public speaking.
  • 00:13:23
    Well yeah, but at the same time it's fun,
  • 00:13:26
    but it's not always fun.
  • 00:13:28
    There are times where I don't wanna speak.
  • 00:13:29
    There's times before going on stage
  • 00:13:30
    I'm like, uh, I gotta do this thing?
  • 00:13:33
    Why? 'Cause it's a fucking job.
  • 00:13:35
    And like any job, no matter how good,
  • 00:13:38
    by the way in the world,
  • 00:13:39
    anyone you see, I wish I had their job.
  • 00:13:41
    That person they feel most likely the same way
  • 00:13:43
    you do about your job.
  • 00:13:45
    For real.
  • 00:13:46
    It's not about the job, it's about,
  • 00:13:47
    one, the relationship you have with the job.
  • 00:13:49
    And no matter how healthy the relationship,
  • 00:13:51
    humans are humans,
  • 00:13:52
    there are times where you're not gonna feel
  • 00:13:54
    inspired on your purpose.
  • 00:13:56
    Now the difference though, which I also talk about
  • 00:13:58
    is that, yes, being on your purpose is key,
  • 00:14:01
    but you're still gonna have good and bad days.
  • 00:14:03
    However, a bad day on your purpose will forever
  • 00:14:05
    beat a good day off your purpose.
  • 00:14:08
    Meaning I would much rather
  • 00:14:09
    before a seminar be like, "Oh, I don't wanna do this.
  • 00:14:11
    I don't wanna work today. I just wanna lie in bed.
  • 00:14:14
    It's raining outside. I just wanna cuddle up, do nothing."
  • 00:14:17
    I'd rather experience that and have to work,
  • 00:14:19
    versus having a great day doing something
  • 00:14:21
    I'm not passionate about at all.
  • 00:14:23
    For real. That's the key.
  • 00:14:24
    But you're still gonna have bad days on your purpose.
  • 00:14:27
    But, beyond just the speaking, guess what?
  • 00:14:30
    A lot of my work is me in front of my computer,
  • 00:14:34
    sitting down.
  • 00:14:35
    That's it.
  • 00:14:36
    There was this old meme back in the day
  • 00:14:37
    that people would pass around where it's like,
  • 00:14:39
    here's what your friends think you do,
  • 00:14:40
    what society thinks you do,
  • 00:14:41
    what your parents think you do
  • 00:14:42
    and what you really do, right?
  • 00:14:45
    And again, you can also see how much we project.
  • 00:14:47
    You might see again all the seminars like, oh,
  • 00:14:49
    this guy's traveling and speaking
  • 00:14:51
    and doing this, this, this.
  • 00:14:52
    Yeah, that's part of it.
  • 00:14:53
    But for the most part what I really do
  • 00:14:55
    would be a picture of me in an airplane seat
  • 00:14:59
    crunched up over a computer, and that's my life.
  • 00:15:01
    Or me at home, just like editing.
  • 00:15:04
    Which by the way, for all the YouTube videos,
  • 00:15:06
    I do all the editing myself.
  • 00:15:08
    Now, not the shorts or the cuts,
  • 00:15:10
    so on and so forth for Instagram.
  • 00:15:11
    But for YouTube, I do all those cuts myself.
  • 00:15:14
    Any business person, when they hear this, they cringe,
  • 00:15:16
    'cause they're like, why don't you delegate that?
  • 00:15:18
    But this brings in another thing when it comes to purpose,
  • 00:15:20
    which is, and these are, this is the way I view it.
  • 00:15:25
    There are two rules ultimately
  • 00:15:26
    to living a successful life.
  • 00:15:29
    One is discover what you love.
  • 00:15:30
    Two is to design your life to do more of what you love.
  • 00:15:33
    For me personally, I love speaking, I love coaching,
  • 00:15:36
    but I love editing
  • 00:15:37
    and I always have.
  • 00:15:38
    Even growing up with music,
  • 00:15:39
    I had this old program called Pro Tools
  • 00:15:42
    and I would edit music back then and that brought me joy.
  • 00:15:45
    It did. And it still does, to edit the videos.
  • 00:15:47
    It brings me joy.
  • 00:15:48
    So why would I delegate that?
  • 00:15:51
    Why would I even need,
  • 00:15:53
    'cause I would make more cash by doing so.
  • 00:15:54
    Why would I need that extra cash to do more of what I love?
  • 00:15:57
    But that's doing more of what I love anyway.
  • 00:15:59
    So I'd rather give up that cash,
  • 00:16:01
    ultimately pay to do what I love.
  • 00:16:05
    But that's also a lot of my job.
  • 00:16:07
    Now it also goes on the creative side
  • 00:16:08
    where it improves the speaking,
  • 00:16:10
    where I'm analyzing the footage and so on and so forth.
  • 00:16:12
    And perfecting the coaching.
  • 00:16:14
    But, it's me behind my computer.
  • 00:16:16
    And guess what I'm doing behind my computer?
  • 00:16:18
    Giggling like a child, for real.
  • 00:16:21
    Every little edit I'm like, ooh, that's a good cut.
  • 00:16:24
    Good job Julian. Good job.
  • 00:16:25
    You got this. All the time.
  • 00:16:29
    I first saw this in a friend of mine. This is years ago.
  • 00:16:32
    We were on a flight and he was writing an email
  • 00:16:36
    and he started just giggling to himself in the plane.
  • 00:16:38
    This is before I did any kind of inner work
  • 00:16:40
    or anything at all.
  • 00:16:42
    And I was just kind of miserable.
  • 00:16:43
    And I was like, what's he so jolly about?
  • 00:16:45
    And I'd noticed he would giggle
  • 00:16:47
    and literally give himself props saying, good job, good job,
  • 00:16:50
    just for typing words out properly.
  • 00:16:53
    For real.
  • 00:16:54
    He'd type out the sentence, be like, yeah, good job.
  • 00:16:55
    And I was like, what?
  • 00:16:57
    But he's just riding this wave of wind.
  • 00:17:00
    How would a kid go about it?
  • 00:17:02
    Do you ever see like a young child?
  • 00:17:03
    And again, I'm only saying this 'cause I have kids now
  • 00:17:05
    and I see it, like, my daughter's drawing and stuff.
  • 00:17:07
    And she like all serious, like better not fuck up,
  • 00:17:10
    like that.
  • 00:17:11
    Within the lines. Within the lines.
  • 00:17:13
    No, she's just giggling about and having a blast.
  • 00:17:17
    I'm like, well why did we lose that?
  • 00:17:18
    Where did you lose that? And can you bring that back?
  • 00:17:21
    And that does not make you immature, for real.
  • 00:17:24
    It's actually combining the two.
  • 00:17:26
    It's combining the adult intellect
  • 00:17:29
    with the childlike passion and excitement and joy.
  • 00:17:34
    And when you do that, you're unstoppable.
  • 00:17:37
    Because what also happens when you do that,
  • 00:17:39
    work ceases to feel like work.
  • 00:17:41
    And it's all this big game.
  • 00:17:43
    There's actually a book,
  • 00:17:44
    and I forget the name that says,
  • 00:17:46
    the same task, if you give it to someone
  • 00:17:49
    and you put it in,
  • 00:17:49
    let's just say two buckets, the fun bucket, the work bucket,
  • 00:17:52
    the exact same task, their experience changes completely.
  • 00:17:56
    If they're doing it for fun or for work, for real.
  • 00:17:59
    There's something about work.
  • 00:18:01
    Yeah, it could be where it's like it just brings
  • 00:18:03
    all this heaviness, like, well 'cause it's work.
  • 00:18:05
    It's like, no, make work fun again. For real.
  • 00:18:09
    Make even self-help all this fun again.
  • 00:18:12
    Are you celebrating your wins along this journey?
  • 00:18:14
    Yes? No?
  • 00:18:15
    'Cause someone could hear this like, okay,
  • 00:18:17
    stop caring what people think.
  • 00:18:18
    Don't be the thought police.
  • 00:18:19
    And then you go out and you start caring.
  • 00:18:21
    You're like stupid, stupid. I cared again, stupid.
  • 00:18:24
    And you go home and you start spiraling outta control.
  • 00:18:27
    - [Student] Shaming the shame. - Yeah, shaming the shame.
  • 00:18:29
    And I have clients who do this even with letting go.
  • 00:18:31
    It's like they let go and then something that come up.
  • 00:18:33
    It's like I got triggered, ah.
  • 00:18:34
    They start self attacking.
  • 00:18:35
    I'm like, celebrate the win.
  • 00:18:37
    It's okay if there's still work to be done.
  • 00:18:39
    There's forever work to be done. But celebrate the win.
  • 00:18:43
    Have big goals, big goals.
  • 00:18:45
    Do not play small, big, big goals,
  • 00:18:49
    but celebrate every little win
  • 00:18:51
    along the way no matter how small.
  • 00:18:53
    That's when you start riding that momentum.
  • 00:18:55
    And don't play the comparison game.
  • 00:18:56
    Don't compare yourself like,
  • 00:18:57
    oh, that person's more ahead, this, this, this.
  • 00:18:59
    You are on your own journey.
  • 00:19:01
    And there is no such thing as more ahead.
  • 00:19:02
    And being more ahead does not increase fulfillment.
  • 00:19:07
    It doesn't. You can tap into peak fulfillment right now.
  • 00:19:10
    I was talking to a friend funny enough earlier today
  • 00:19:13
    and we were talking about just life and funny situations.
  • 00:19:18
    And I talked about when I worked at the Coffee Bean
  • 00:19:21
    back in the day, it's like a Starbucks in Los Angeles.
  • 00:19:24
    And I worked there and I was a barista making coffee.
  • 00:19:26
    Literally you'd walk in,
  • 00:19:27
    I'd be like, "Oh, what would you like sir?
  • 00:19:28
    Oh yeah." And I was really good at it.
  • 00:19:32
    And no joke to this day, I miss it.
  • 00:19:35
    Like if I could go back, not long term,
  • 00:19:37
    but like revisit it for a day, even a week, it was fun.
  • 00:19:41
    And it's part of once more the hero's journey.
  • 00:19:43
    You look back at your humble beginnings
  • 00:19:44
    and you're like, oh yes, that was epic.
  • 00:19:46
    Like it doesn't get better.
  • 00:19:48
    As long as you're aligned with your win,
  • 00:19:49
    you're playing to win, not playing not to lose.
  • 00:19:53
    Whatever level you're at doesn't increase fulfillment.
  • 00:19:55
    The same way you playing a video game,
  • 00:19:58
    the game's fun at level one,
  • 00:19:59
    it's fun at level two, three, four, five,
  • 00:20:01
    all the way till the end.
  • 00:20:02
    It's not like this game sucks until I'm at level 10.
  • 00:20:05
    No, you enjoy it all. Same with life.
  • 00:20:09
    So don't compare.
  • 00:20:11
    Instead of always looking for the goal out there
  • 00:20:13
    or in the future or further ahead, take that finish line
  • 00:20:16
    and put it behind you.
  • 00:20:18
    What if you're living it right now,
  • 00:20:19
    what about making this the goal?
  • 00:20:22
    And that's also what creates so much of this self-attack,
  • 00:20:25
    self-hate, so on and so forth,
  • 00:20:26
    is when reality doesn't match what you want.
  • 00:20:30
    Well hey, that's on you. Make it match what you want.
  • 00:20:34
    What if literally the only place you wanted to be
  • 00:20:37
    was right here, right now.
  • 00:20:38
    The only person you wanted to be was right here right now.
  • 00:20:41
    (exhaling heavily)
  • 00:20:43
    Now, easier said than done.
  • 00:20:45
    It's not just telling yourself like, oh, I wanna be this.
  • 00:20:48
    That's where also deep inner work
  • 00:20:50
    and letting go comes into play
  • 00:20:51
    to align all parts of yourself.
  • 00:20:54
    But that's really the goal.
  • 00:20:56
    It's me standing here is the goal. Yes.
  • 00:21:01
    Me standing here is the goal now. Yes.
  • 00:21:03
    Not over there.
  • 00:21:05
    Oh, it's here now again. Yes.
  • 00:21:06
    Not over there.
  • 00:21:07
    Wherever you're at, embrace it.
  • 00:21:10
    And also realize that in the end you're always
  • 00:21:12
    left with your relationship with the present moment.
  • 00:21:15
    And right now, if we were to freeze the present moment,
  • 00:21:18
    like we're all frozen in this slice of time,
  • 00:21:22
    this frozen slice of time,
  • 00:21:23
    there's nothing you can do to change who you are.
  • 00:21:26
    There's nothing you can do to change your looks.
  • 00:21:28
    There's nothing you can do to change your life.
  • 00:21:30
    This is just you in this free frame moment of time.
  • 00:21:34
    So you have the choice.
  • 00:21:35
    You can resist it and be like, this sucks.
  • 00:21:36
    I want more or I want this, this, this.
  • 00:21:39
    Or you can embrace it. And it doesn't mean don't have goals.
  • 00:21:41
    You can have an intention, Hey, this is where I wanna go,
  • 00:21:44
    but in this moment, this is me.
  • 00:21:45
    So why not embrace it?
  • 00:21:48
    Only one of those options leads to a pleasant experience.
  • 00:21:51
    What people do is they resist and they self-attack
  • 00:21:53
    and then they rationalize it
  • 00:21:54
    and they're like, the more I self-attack,
  • 00:21:56
    the more I will be motivated.
  • 00:21:58
    Well no.
  • 00:22:00
    Again, as a kid or playing a video game,
  • 00:22:02
    do you need to motivate yourself?
  • 00:22:04
    No.
  • 00:22:06
    And it's funny too, I use this example with a video game,
  • 00:22:08
    how people will spend hours and hours
  • 00:22:09
    and days and weeks and years playing video games, years.
  • 00:22:14
    And people look down at it like, just video games.
  • 00:22:17
    But if you actually think about it, it's not nothing.
  • 00:22:20
    It's a lot of focus, a lot of energy,
  • 00:22:22
    a lot of finger skills.
  • 00:22:24
    And you're just like, come on, let's get this set.
  • 00:22:26
    Like you're dedicating a lot of time.
  • 00:22:29
    You're progressing within the game.
  • 00:22:31
    So for any of you who are video game addicts,
  • 00:22:33
    like you're working, it's work,
  • 00:22:36
    but it doesn't feel like it.
  • 00:22:38
    Why is it that someone can spend literally
  • 00:22:40
    years playing video games fully focused,
  • 00:22:43
    like to the point where they even cut into their sleep
  • 00:22:45
    and like, oh, it's time to sleep.
  • 00:22:46
    Oh yeah.
  • 00:22:47
    But as soon as it's something outside of the game,
  • 00:22:48
    massive resistance.
  • 00:22:49
    Oh, I just can't. Procrastination, laziness.
  • 00:22:54
    'Cause the relationship around it is different.
  • 00:22:56
    Fun, work, fun, work.
  • 00:22:58
    Transfer that over to real life and you're unstoppable.
  • 00:23:01
    And that's your unfair advantage.
  • 00:23:03
    It's when work doesn't feel like work,
  • 00:23:04
    that's when you can go and go and go and go and go.
  • 00:23:07
    And you don't need a self-discipline.
  • 00:23:09
    You're just inspired just like a kid.
  • 00:23:14
    Now this does require
  • 00:23:15
    also reflecting back on your childhood.
  • 00:23:18
    And it could also be that your childhood wasn't that peachy.
  • 00:23:21
    But no matter how terrible your childhood was,
  • 00:23:24
    there was a moment before where you were that,
  • 00:23:26
    where you felt that and then you lost it.
  • 00:23:30
    And the beauty of this is
  • 00:23:31
    your childhood was not in your control.
  • 00:23:33
    You were thrown into different circumstances.
  • 00:23:35
    Maybe your parents were terrible.
  • 00:23:36
    Maybe whoever raised you was terrible.
  • 00:23:38
    Maybe life didn't treat you fairly
  • 00:23:40
    and that was not up to you.
  • 00:23:41
    That's life life-ing.
  • 00:23:44
    But the beauty is you don't have to be a slave rat forever.
  • 00:23:49
    You can actually go back
  • 00:23:50
    and the things that left a negative impact on you,
  • 00:23:53
    you can release them.
  • 00:23:55
    And that's why I talk so much about letting go.
  • 00:23:58
    And the last thing with this in your self worth,
  • 00:24:00
    it's also about reflecting
  • 00:24:01
    on what it means to be good enough.
  • 00:24:04
    Are you good enough only when you let go of everything,
  • 00:24:07
    yes or no? - [Student] No.
  • 00:24:08
    - Are you good enough if you never let go?
  • 00:24:11
    - [Student] Yes. - Yes? No?
  • 00:24:13
    I see some hmm.
  • 00:24:14
    Are you good enough if you don't take any action
  • 00:24:17
    and don't make any money? - [Students] Yes. Yes.
  • 00:24:20
    - Yeah?
  • 00:24:21
    Are you good enough if you're unhealthy?
  • 00:24:23
    - [Student] Yes. Hell yeah.
  • 00:24:24
    - Are you good enough if your entire life you do nothing
  • 00:24:27
    and accomplish nothing?
  • 00:24:29
    - [Students] Yes. - Yeah.
  • 00:24:30
    Okay. Good answer.
  • 00:24:32
    Yes, you're good enough no matter what.
  • 00:24:34
    If there is a reason,
  • 00:24:36
    if you can find a reason for why you are good enough,
  • 00:24:39
    then you're not good enough without that reason.
  • 00:24:42
    And then you're a slave to that thing. Whatever it is.
  • 00:24:45
    Even if you try to find yourself,
  • 00:24:47
    I'm good enough 'cause I'm smart.
  • 00:24:50
    Well now you're a slave to that
  • 00:24:51
    and you're gonna be hanging onto it
  • 00:24:52
    in fear of loss around being smart.
  • 00:24:56
    And back to the video game, think of life that way.
  • 00:24:59
    There's the player in the character and you are both.
  • 00:25:02
    Right now there's me, Julian, like,
  • 00:25:05
    in GTA, delivering a speech.
  • 00:25:07
    And then there's me in the spiritual world,
  • 00:25:09
    they'll call this like your higher self playing the game.
  • 00:25:14
    And what we do is we get too myopic.
  • 00:25:16
    We play this game of life through first person only.
  • 00:25:19
    Instead of no, no, no.
  • 00:25:21
    I'm also zooming out the player, not just the character.
  • 00:25:24
    Third person.
  • 00:25:25
    And your essence at a core
  • 00:25:26
    who you are is good enough regardless.
  • 00:25:28
    If you play a video game, you're not a better person
  • 00:25:30
    'cause you're a level two or level three.
  • 00:25:33
    You're just you playing a game.
  • 00:25:34
    You're just you living life.
  • 00:25:36
    Whatever your goals are, you're just you,
  • 00:25:38
    accomplishing certain goals,
  • 00:25:39
    but you are forever good enough.
  • 00:25:41
    And the key to be good enough is to identify
  • 00:25:43
    what's keeping the lie that I'm not good enough alive
  • 00:25:47
    and let go of it.
  • 00:25:48
    It's not by compensating or accumulation
  • 00:25:50
    or getting more, it's by letting go.
  • 00:25:54
    And then you're invincible.
  • 00:25:56
    Now, people will also fall into the trap
  • 00:25:58
    where they detach completely.
  • 00:26:00
    And that's not healthy.
  • 00:26:03
    On one side it's someone who's only the character,
  • 00:26:05
    on the other side it's someone who's only the player.
  • 00:26:08
    You are both. Meaning it's not about disconnecting.
  • 00:26:12
    People are like, I don't care what anyone thinks about me,
  • 00:26:13
    screw everyone and they block off.
  • 00:26:16
    No, it's be connected,
  • 00:26:18
    but don't try to find yourself in that.
  • 00:26:21
    Don't try to find yourself in anything out here.
  • 00:26:24
    And then ultimately you can't.
  • 00:26:26
    If you think about character
  • 00:26:27
    and player, the character is playing in this finite world.
  • 00:26:32
    The player is in a different paradigm.
  • 00:26:35
    You could say the infinite.
  • 00:26:36
    Trying to find yourself out here
  • 00:26:38
    is like trying the infinite.
  • 00:26:39
    It's like trying to find the infinite in the finite,
  • 00:26:42
    trying to count to infinity.
  • 00:26:43
    Can you do it?
  • 00:26:45
    One, two, three, four. You can't.
  • 00:26:48
    Do I have enough money yet?
  • 00:26:49
    One, two, three, four. You can't.
  • 00:26:51
    Do people like me enough yet.
  • 00:26:52
    One, two, three, four. You can't.
  • 00:26:54
    It's in a different paradigm.
  • 00:26:57
    Yet our mind is very used to gathering, accumulating.
  • 00:27:00
    Maybe if I watch enough videos, enough content,
  • 00:27:02
    enough courses, I'll get there.
  • 00:27:03
    You can't get there.
  • 00:27:04
    You can only realize that you are already there
  • 00:27:07
    and always there.
  • 00:27:09
    It's about removing the dirt around letting that shine.
  • 00:27:13
    That's the way.
  • 00:27:14
    Don't find meaning in what's to come,
  • 00:27:16
    find meaning in what is.
  • 00:27:19
    The classic example of this is someone who starts looping
  • 00:27:23
    and obsessing over something or someone, right?
  • 00:27:27
    A lot of people fall into this trap.
  • 00:27:28
    They loop over an ideal partner, right?
  • 00:27:31
    Once I find love, I just need to find love.
  • 00:27:34
    I just need to find the one. If only, if only.
  • 00:27:36
    And they start looping and looping and looping
  • 00:27:38
    or looping about how sad their lonely life story is so far.
  • 00:27:42
    I've fallen into that trap.
  • 00:27:44
    And it's easy to fall into
  • 00:27:45
    'cause it gives you a sense of purpose.
  • 00:27:48
    Let that land.
  • 00:27:49
    You don't have to be in a relationship
  • 00:27:51
    to have certain feelings about a relationship.
  • 00:27:53
    You can live in your mind about fantasies
  • 00:27:55
    of one day when I meet that person.
  • 00:27:58
    And instead of just going through life, like nah,
  • 00:28:00
    going through the motions, there's that thing
  • 00:28:02
    that gives you hope, that imaginary purpose.
  • 00:28:05
    And movies condition it.
  • 00:28:07
    You watch any Disney movie which I'm now an expert in,
  • 00:28:11
    for real, all of the Disney princesses, I know them all.
  • 00:28:14
    I know their strengths, I know their personalities,
  • 00:28:16
    I know their powers.
  • 00:28:17
    Any trivia around the Disney princesses? I know, for real.
  • 00:28:24
    Now, common thing in those Disney movies,
  • 00:28:27
    even beyond the princesses is someone
  • 00:28:30
    really obsesses over someone.
  • 00:28:32
    Or even like the Hallmark movies, right,
  • 00:28:34
    which are all coming out right now.
  • 00:28:35
    They obsess and it's like they're the one
  • 00:28:37
    and there's obstacles and then you overcome it
  • 00:28:38
    and you finally get the one.
  • 00:28:40
    And we buy into that.
  • 00:28:41
    We think the more we obsess and loop
  • 00:28:42
    and think, and it doesn't have to be a person,
  • 00:28:44
    it could also be success, right?
  • 00:28:46
    If I go to bed
  • 00:28:47
    and I have my vision board of success, it's like I need it.
  • 00:28:50
    I need.
  • 00:28:50
    One day things will be so much better. When?
  • 00:28:53
    That's the worst approach ever.
  • 00:28:55
    Terrible. Why?
  • 00:28:57
    Because what is it?
  • 00:28:57
    On one hand continuously reinforcing
  • 00:29:00
    that this right here is not good enough.
  • 00:29:02
    I'm not good enough. That has to be the finish line.
  • 00:29:05
    I'm chasing that. And then it creates neediness.
  • 00:29:08
    And there's that famous saying, neediness equals lack.
  • 00:29:12
    You only need something you don't have.
  • 00:29:15
    So the more you need something,
  • 00:29:16
    the more you're telling yourself,
  • 00:29:17
    I don't have this, I don't have this.
  • 00:29:19
    And guess what?
  • 00:29:20
    The more you tell yourself I don't have this,
  • 00:29:21
    the more that becomes your comfort zone.
  • 00:29:24
    And what do you know about comfort zones?
  • 00:29:26
    They like to keep you stuck in comfortable in them.
  • 00:29:29
    Meaning that even if there were opportunities,
  • 00:29:32
    self-sabotage would kick in to push people away
  • 00:29:35
    or push success away,
  • 00:29:37
    so you can keep experiencing the lack.
  • 00:29:42
    Let that land, this is big.
  • 00:29:45
    If only I had a partner, if only I had a partner.
  • 00:29:47
    Say, someone says, hi, nice to meet you.
  • 00:29:49
    It's my ideal partner. (screaming)
  • 00:29:52
    'Cause actually being with that person
  • 00:29:53
    would disrupt the known.
  • 00:29:54
    If you've been craving a person for so long,
  • 00:29:57
    if you have them, you can't crave them anymore.
  • 00:29:58
    So what are you gonna do?
  • 00:29:59
    It completely shatters your comfort zone.
  • 00:30:03
    Now, sometimes you can still get into a relationship
  • 00:30:05
    despite that, but then you don't even enjoy it too.
  • 00:30:08
    And then there's the fear of loss.
  • 00:30:09
    If they leave, oh no. It's terrible.
  • 00:30:12
    And you'll find new ways to, again, get your hit of lack.
  • 00:30:15
    Just like a drug, right?
  • 00:30:18
    There's all those movies
  • 00:30:19
    and shows about like, again, drug addictions
  • 00:30:21
    and so on and so forth.
  • 00:30:22
    And the pharmaceutical companies, well, hey,
  • 00:30:24
    the biggest drug, lack.
  • 00:30:27
    This isn't enough.
  • 00:30:28
    More, more, more, more, more.
  • 00:30:31
    And that's what runs us. Yeah.
  • 00:30:33
    - [Student] So you're being addicted to the pursuit
  • 00:30:35
    or addicted to the chase
  • 00:30:37
    or addicted to the climbing the Everest?
  • 00:30:40
    - Yes. But never getting it.
  • 00:30:42
    'cause then you can't chase it.
  • 00:30:44
    Exactly.
  • 00:30:45
    And that's crazy.
  • 00:30:47
    So audit on your end, what's my comfort zone like?
  • 00:30:50
    What do I feel the most on a day-to-day basis.
  • 00:30:54
    What does my mind loop on the most?
  • 00:30:57
    We tend to think every day is new and unique. It isn't.
  • 00:31:00
    For the most part,
  • 00:31:02
    another famous saying in the self-help world,
  • 00:31:04
    90% of your thoughts here today
  • 00:31:06
    are the same thoughts you had yesterday
  • 00:31:07
    and the day before, so on and so forth.
  • 00:31:09
    It's the same concerns, the same patterns.
  • 00:31:12
    Again, every day we're like, it's gonna be different.
  • 00:31:14
    No, it's the same.
  • 00:31:16
    Of course the external could be different.
  • 00:31:18
    But your experience in that inner world, emotional
  • 00:31:21
    and mental, it's very predictable.
  • 00:31:24
    This is also why patterns follow you
  • 00:31:26
    and run you often from your childhood years on.
  • 00:31:31
    So become aware of it. That's the first part of this.
  • 00:31:33
    You gotta know what's running you.
  • 00:31:36
    And then don't fuel it
  • 00:31:38
    and audit all the actions you're taking.
  • 00:31:41
    What am I doing to fuel this?
  • 00:31:43
    And instead of fueling it, learn how to let go.
Tags
  • self-worth
  • authenticity
  • freedom of thought
  • criticism
  • personal growth
  • celebration
  • approval
  • inner reflection
  • success
  • identity