How To Be Happy & Remove Negative Thoughts in ANY Situation

00:09:26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4ZdyS6v3qA

Summary

TLDRThe speaker explores the essence of happiness, emphasizing that it is an internal state influenced by one's spirit and mindset rather than solely reliant on external factors. They explain that while happiness can fluctuate, cultivating a sense of fulfillment is crucial. The key to enduring happiness lies in acceptance, appreciation, and having a purpose greater than oneself. The content acknowledges challenges ('winter') that everyone faces and highlights the importance of internal resilience. The speaker introduces three types of happiness: Rockstar (pleasure), passion (flow), and purpose happiness. They underline that managing expectations regarding others' behaviors can significantly impact one's happiness.

Takeaways

  • ✨ Happiness is an internal state, not reliant on external factors.
  • 🌟 Acceptance leads to appreciation and lasting happiness.
  • 💖 Purpose-driven happiness transcends personal desires.
  • 🌈 Winter symbolizes tough times we all face.
  • 🔍 Managing expectations is key to avoiding disappointment.
  • 🤝 Deep relationships are vital for long-term happiness.
  • 🚀 Different types of happiness include pleasure, flow, and purpose.
  • 💪 Cultivating happiness is a choice and a habit.
  • 🧘‍♂️ Focus on what you can control to maintain a beautiful state.
  • 🌌 Belief in something greater can provide strength during tough times.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:09:26

    The discussion emphasizes that true happiness comes from within, rooted in our spirit, heart, and soul, rather than external circumstances. It acknowledges that life can be challenging, and while happiness may not be constant, a meaningful life can provide fulfillment even in tough times. The speaker underscores that happiness is a habit that many overlook, highlighting that achieving external success without internal peace is ultimately unsatisfying. Through referencing interviews with billionaires, the speaker notes that very few of them are genuinely happy despite their wealth, and emphasizes the importance of cultivating a 'beautiful state' of mind to navigate through adversity. The narrative suggests that managing our internal state is crucial, especially during difficult emotional 'winters', and it promotes acceptance and appreciation as foundational steps toward lasting happiness, which ultimately reflects positively on our relationships with others.

Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • What is the main source of happiness according to the speaker?

    Happiness comes from within, influenced by one's spirit, mindset, and internal state.

  • How can one develop happiness as a habit?

    By practicing acceptance, appreciation, and focusing on purpose beyond oneself.

  • What does the speaker mean by 'winter'?

    'Winter' refers to challenging times or emotional struggles that everyone experiences.

  • What are the types of happiness mentioned?

    Rockstar happiness (pleasure), passion happiness (flow), and purpose happiness.

  • How does expectation affect happiness?

    Expectations that others will behave a certain way often lead to unhappiness when they don't meet those expectations.

  • What is the significance of relationships in finding happiness?

    Deep, meaningful relationships contribute significantly to long-lasting happiness.

  • What advice is offered for dealing with tough times?

    Manage your internal state and focus on aspects of life that you can control.

  • Can happiness coexist with challenging emotions?

    Yes, fulfillment can be found through a meaningful life even if one isn't happy all the time.

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  • 00:00:01
    are you happy all the time if not why
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    not if so why spirit is where all comes
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    from right it's the spirit of your high
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    your soul the spirit of your heart that
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    makes you happy it's not the external
  • 00:00:14
    things as we all know and yet most of
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    our society gears us up for all the
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    externals and when the externals don't
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    work out so well or when we're in a
  • 00:00:22
    winter or challenging time sometimes
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    that happiness
  • 00:00:27
    disappears a fulfilling life is a
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    meaningful life
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    doesn't feel happy every moment but it
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    can be meaningful every moment and
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    happiness is a habit and it's one that
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    we don't value as much but how great is
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    life if you achieve everything you want
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    and you're not happy not very when I did
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    money Master the game I interviewed
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    these billionaires one after another
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    after another 50 of them all self-made
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    so it wasn't people that were spoiled or
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    somebody just gave them what they had
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    but they're probably four of them it's
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    just my judgment I can be wrong that are
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    really happy people and they have
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    everything they could have ever dreamed
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    with times 10 or 20 or 100 or thousand
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    and so the secret really you've heard us
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    talk before about beautiful state when
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    you get in certain States you think one
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    thought when you get other states you
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    think another thought it's like turning
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    the channel and so what I really show
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    people in the book how to do is how to
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    turn the channel so that you're not
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    suffering and you're living in a
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    beautiful state because there isn't
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    anything more important and because of
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    the times we're in it's even more
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    important Good Times make weak people
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    weak people people make tough times
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    tough times make strong people and
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    strong people make good time but you got
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    to be strong internally so you can enjoy
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    yourself could you enjoy yourself in the
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    middle of winter me for years talking
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    about prepare Winter's coming well
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    Winter's here but we're not through it
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    and the worst part the more challenging
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    parts of winter still are coming and
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    this season called winter we all
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    experience that you've had Winters in
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    your emotions you have Winters in your
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    relationships but this type of external
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    winter is much more intense external
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    which means if you don't manage the
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    inside it's going to be a rough rough
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    road but if you manage the inside it can
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    be the most beautiful time of your
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    life so I'm not here to say be happy
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    happy happy just positive thinking I'm
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    here to say this is not only a survival
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    but a thriving tool this is the tool
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    this week you want to really envelop
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    yourself this is the time to recharge to
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    re-engineer yourself because if you
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    think about it if you and I going to run
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    a race you're going to go like a Baja
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    race they go a thousand miles across the
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    desert and you take your beautiful
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    Mercedes to do that it ain't going to
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    work Mercedes is expensive car it's a
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    beautiful car it's a well-made car it'll
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    be destroyed in that race you will not
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    finish the race you have to have it be
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    adapted re-engineered to go a thousand
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    miles in the
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    desert and I'm suggesting to you this
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    idea of fulfillment this idea of being
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    able to find happiness or even Joy it'll
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    start with acceptance accepting the
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    things we can't change knowing the
  • 00:03:00
    things we can and doing something about
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    it it's very different but there are
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    certain things you can't change
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    otherwise you're going to be miserable
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    all the time and once you get to
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    acceptance you can find appreciation and
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    once you find appreciation you can start
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    to find something to actually Perhaps
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    Love or enjoy or be grateful for and the
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    more we do that we develop these habits
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    then in the middle of winter you're
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    going to have a killer time and more
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    importantly your state will envelop the
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    people you love your state will be the
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    leader you will drive the state by your
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    example cuz it'll be so
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    rare there's lots of different kinds of
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    happiness you can have Rockstar
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    happiness you all know what that is
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    that's just pure pleasure you get what
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    you want that's Rockstar happiness how
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    long does it
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    last you get what you want you're so
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    excited you get it how long you excited
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    how long you happy 10 years from that
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    moment a year 6 months few hours it's
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    nice what's the second kind of Happiness
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    passion happiness passion happiness is
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    flow that's when you're doing something
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    and you
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    disappear it's when you do something you
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    love and you disappear you're doing
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    something for your family your kids or
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    your work or something and you're so
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    into it that just you're in this Flow
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    State that's a beautiful beautiful form
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    of happiness and you can have that in
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    any season but then there's a higher
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    level of happiness that has greater
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    duration and that's purpose happiness
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    when you feel like you've got a purpose
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    Beyond yourself when you're trying to
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    serve something Beyond yourself you
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    won't be worried about winter so much
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    it's like someone have someone dies in
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    the family and a bunch of people go into
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    grief and one person they don't seem to
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    go in as much grief cuz they're busy
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    taking care of everybody
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    else as a result they find the they find
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    the strength because they're here to
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    serve something more than themselves and
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    because relationship is the ultimate
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    happiness and it's friendships that are
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    not happiness it's your children it's
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    your family it's your spouse it's your
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    lover all of those is where the deepest
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    longlasting happiness comes from make
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    sure you have all types of Happiness
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    available too you can play with them all
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    but make sure that purpose happiness
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    gets expanded so a question that has to
  • 00:05:03
    come up is what gets in the way of
  • 00:05:06
    happiness is happiness something that we
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    have
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    naturally so a question that has to come
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    up is what gets in the way of happiness
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    is happiness something that we have
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    naturally we can choose happiness
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    because it is a choice you do not
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    experience life you experience the life
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    you focus on all you got to do is turn
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    on the news and you can get really nuts
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    but then the things that tend to make me
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    nuts are the things I can't control and
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    so what I've wanted to do is to figure
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    out what I can do about it what I can't
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    there has to be something deeper that
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    makes you believe there's something more
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    if you don't when times get really rough
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    unless you have some kind of spiritual
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    belief there's something you believe in
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    more than yourself God a universe that's
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    somehow has a higher purpose to guide
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    you then there going to be times in this
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    coming winter where you're really going
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    to suffer unless you can have a trust in
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    something larger than yourself is
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    guiding and that good will come from
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    this and my experience because I'm a
  • 00:06:04
    student of history is regardless of
  • 00:06:05
    anything else that gives me even more
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    faith it always does we throw the
  • 00:06:09
    pendulum so far and when you get pushed
  • 00:06:12
    far enough it finds its balance that's
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    history and so we're not going to be
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    stuck here forever but we got to make
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    sure we enjoy this trip along the way
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    while we're here and we all as humans
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    have a negative bias meaning our nervous
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    system from 2 million years ago has
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    wired us to look for and avoid anything
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    a give significant pain we're going to
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    either fight it or we're going to run
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    from it or we're going to freeze and
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    that 2 milon part of your brain that
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    survival part of your brain has not gone
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    away and never will it's not designed to
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    make you happy it's designed to make you
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    survive so just think about it's what I
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    focus on and it's number two the meaning
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    I give it cuz out of that I'm going to
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    have certain emotions I'm going to take
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    certain actions and it all depends on
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    what you focus on you could be totally
  • 00:06:54
    depressed in this moment or you could be
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    totally excited so it's a choice but
  • 00:06:58
    then the question you got to ask
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    yourself is what's my habit where do I
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    spend more of that time and it doesn't
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    take a lot of time on the negative bias
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    since it's natural for the brain for it
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    to start to come overloaded where you
  • 00:07:11
    stack so many
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    things most people are doing a negative
  • 00:07:15
    flood almost every single day and it
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    doesn't matter how smart you are cuz
  • 00:07:18
    today the acceleration of the negative
  • 00:07:20
    by nature in Winter there is more
  • 00:07:24
    attitude of negativity regardless of the
  • 00:07:26
    activity it just becomes the standard
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    I must understand where the world is not
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    just where my world is the biggest thing
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    that creates stress is we're expecting
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    people to behave a certain way to treat
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    us a certain way to talk a certain way
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    to love a certain way but even the ones
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    closest to you have their own model of
  • 00:07:44
    the world and unhappiness can be defined
  • 00:07:47
    as having expectations that others are
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    going to live respond and react the way
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    you want them to if there's a secret to
  • 00:07:54
    beautiful state it's giving up that
  • 00:07:56
    thought that anyone has to do things a
  • 00:07:59
    certain way way for you to be
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    happy as long as your husband your wife
  • 00:08:05
    your boyfriend your girlfriend your kids
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    your parents your co-workers your
  • 00:08:10
    Associates your employees have to behave
  • 00:08:12
    a certain way for you to be happy you
  • 00:08:13
    will not be happy cuz let me tell you
  • 00:08:15
    what people are going to do people are
  • 00:08:16
    going to do what they
  • 00:08:18
    do I'm not disappointed anymore I know
  • 00:08:20
    people are going to do things I know
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    people are going to betray and then I
  • 00:08:23
    find softer language from it they're
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    going to not keep their word I know
  • 00:08:27
    people are going to say one thing and do
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    another people are going to lie I know
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    good people are going to make dumb
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    mistakes including me so as long as I
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    know that I don't have an expectation
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    all of your happiness is destroyed by
  • 00:08:39
    your expectations some of you know your
  • 00:08:42
    expectations many of you are unaware of
  • 00:08:44
    your expectations you just think that's
  • 00:08:46
    what life is supposed to be like and
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    when it doesn't match you're
  • 00:08:50
    mad it's really the conflicts of how we
  • 00:08:53
    think it's supposed to be so our
  • 00:08:55
    happiness the only way to have our
  • 00:08:56
    happiness long term is to have
  • 00:08:58
    expectations that are authentic and
  • 00:09:00
    here's the authentic expectation people
  • 00:09:02
    are going to do what they're going to do
  • 00:09:03
    and it's not going to be what you expect
  • 00:09:04
    a good deal of the time it's not going
  • 00:09:06
    to be what they promise and you can be
  • 00:09:07
    pissed off and moralistic and you can
  • 00:09:09
    judge them and feel better about
  • 00:09:10
    yourself but that's not going to make
  • 00:09:11
    you one miserable person
Tags
  • happiness
  • internal state
  • fulfillment
  • acceptance
  • purpose
  • relationships
  • expectations
  • passion
  • gratitude
  • mindset