8 Evident Signs There Is An Evil Person In Your Life | JORDAN PETERSON

00:26:03
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IeJkiAAia4

Summary

TLDRThe video emphasizes the critical skill of identifying toxic relationships, particularly those involving manipulative or envious individuals. It reveals that these people often use confusion and self-doubt as tools to control others, making it essential to recognize their signs early. Key concepts include their tactics of dishonesty, emotional manipulation, and their tendency to undermine personal growth. Viewers are encouraged to set boundaries, prioritize their own well-being, and let go of relationships that do not support their personal evolution. The message is clear: surround yourself with people who celebrate your achievements instead of resenting them.

Takeaways

  • 🚫 Recognize signs of manipulation early.
  • 🛡️ Set boundaries to protect your mental health.
  • 🧐 Confusion is a tool for control.
  • 😔 Dismissive reactions can signal envy.
  • 💔 Not everyone will celebrate your success.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The ability to spot manipulative and destructive individuals is essential for personal growth and well-being. These individuals can subtly poison your mind and sabotage your life. Recognizing signs of manipulation, including self-doubt and confusion in conversations, is crucial to protect yourself from falling into their trap.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Manipulative individuals often distort your perception of reality, eroding your confidence and making you question your own experiences. They seek control and use tactics like gaslighting to make you feel uncertain and powerless in the relationship. It is vital to understand that confusion is not a normal state in healthy interactions and recognizing these patterns is the first step towards setting boundaries.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    When confronted, manipulative individuals may escalate and shift blame onto you, making it exhausting to challenge them. Their tactics can lead to emotional exhaustion, resulting in you doubting yourself more. Acknowledging this cycle is vital to reclaiming your sense of self and understanding that healthy relationships do not involve constant confusion or emotional warfare.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    Growth often triggers envy and resentment in others, leading to discouragement disguised as concern. When you aspire to rise and improve, some people may react with hostility rather than support. It is crucial to identify these dynamics early on, recognizing that your success may reflect their failures, which they project as negative criticism or subtle sabotage.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:26:03

    Helping someone who refuses to take responsibility for their life can drain your energy and compromise your own goals. Healthy relationships require reciprocity; if someone perpetuates chaos while you're expending effort to support them, it's essential to set boundaries. Acknowledge that some individuals may never change, and your emotional well-being should not be sacrificed for their inability to improve.

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Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • What are some signs of a manipulative person?

    Signs include constant confusion, self-doubt, dismissing your feelings, and undermining your successes.

  • How can I protect myself from toxic relationships?

    Recognize the signs early, set boundaries, and distance yourself from those who don’t support your growth.

  • What should I do if a friend is envious of my success?

    Pay attention to their reactions and be cautious; genuine friends will support and celebrate your achievements.

  • Is it possible to change a toxic person?

    Generally, you cannot change them; their issues stem from themselves, not you.

  • Why is confusion a red flag in relationships?

    Confusion often results from manipulation and indicates that someone is distorting your perception of reality.

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  • 00:00:00
    decode relationships transform
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    connections welcome to Beyond boundaries
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    you know one of the most crucial skills
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    you can develop in life is the ability
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    to spot evil before it wraps around you
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    like a snake not just bad people not
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    just difficult personalities I'm talking
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    about genuinely destructive deceitful
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    individuals who can poison your mind
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    sabotage your growth and drain your soul
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    without you even realizing it and here's
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    the terrifying truth you might already
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    have one in your life a friend a partner
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    a coworker someone you trust because the
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    most dangerous people don't announce
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    themselves they don't wear a sign that
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    says hey I'm here to manipulate you no
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    they smile in your face while slowly
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    tightening their grip on your reality So
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    today we're going to break down eight
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    undeniable signs that an evil person is
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    in your life if you recognize even one
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    of these you need to wake up set
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    boundaries and protect
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    yourself before it's too late have you
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    ever walked away from a conversation
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    feeling confused uncertain like
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    something was off but you couldn't quite
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    put your finger on it you replay the
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    interaction in your mind questioning
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    whether you misunderstood whether you
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    overreacted whether you're being
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    unfair that's not an accident that
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    feeling that disorientation that
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    self-doubt is a deliberate effect
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    of
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    manipulation there are people in this
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    world who do not care about truth they
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    do not care about fairness they care
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    about one thing
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    control and one of the most effective
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    ways to control
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    someone is to distort their perception
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    of reality so thoroughly that they no
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    longer trust their own judgment if
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    someone can make you doubt yourself if
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    they can make you question your own
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    experiences then they have power over
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    you and if you don't recognize it if you
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    don't develop the ability to see it for
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    what it is then you are at risk of being
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    entangled in a web of deception that can
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    take years to escape from it starts
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    small it always does you express concern
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    about something and they dismiss it oh
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    you're being dramatic that's not what
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    happened you're just imagining things
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    maybe at first you push back you insist
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    that you know what you saw what you
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    heard what you felt but over time the
  • 00:02:34
    constant erosion of your certainty wears
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    you down the more they challenge your
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    reality the more you begin to question
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    it yourself now why do people do this
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    why does someone go out of their way to
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    make you feel like the problem the
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    answer is simple because it
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    works if they can convince you that
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    you're too sensitive too emotional too
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    paranoid then you stop resisting you
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    start letting things slide you hesitate
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    before speaking up you apologize when
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    you have nothing to apologize for and
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    little by little they gain more control
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    not just over the narrative but over you
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    and here's the dangerous part they make
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    it feel like you're the one who is
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    changing like you're the one losing grip
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    they will say things
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    like you never used to be like this you
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    used to be so easygoing why are you
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    acting this way and because you've
  • 00:03:27
    already begun to doubt yourself you
  • 00:03:30
    start wondering am I
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    overreacting am I the one in the wrong
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    but let me tell you something confusion
  • 00:03:37
    is not a normal state in a healthy
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    relationship if you constantly feel like
  • 00:03:43
    you're walking on eggshells like you're
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    being subtly undermined like you're
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    questioning your own
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    perceptions that's not a mistake that's
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    a strategy manipulative people rely on
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    uncertainty to maintain their power they
  • 00:03:58
    don't need to be right they don't need
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    to have proof they just need to keep you
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    questioning yourself enough that you
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    don't stand up to them and once they've
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    established that dynamic they can get
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    away with almost anything now let's take
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    this a step further what happens when
  • 00:04:16
    you do push back what happens when you
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    catch them in a lie when you confront
  • 00:04:20
    them about their behavior do they own up
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    to it do they show remorse no they
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    escalate they flip the script suddenly
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    you're the aggressor you're the
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    unreasonable one you're hurting them
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    maybe they lash out in anger or maybe
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    they play the victim maybe they turn on
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    the Waterworks making you feel guilty
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    for even daring to question them or
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    maybe they go silent withdrawing their
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    affection punishing you with coldness
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    until you break down and apologize just
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    to restore peace and that's the final
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    trap because now they don't even need to
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    convince you they're right they just
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    need to make it so exhausting so
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    emotionally draining to challenge them
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    that you simply stop
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    trying do you see what's happening here
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    this is psychological warfare this is a
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    calculated attack on your mind your
  • 00:05:11
    confidence your ability to trust your
  • 00:05:13
    own thoughts and the longer it continues
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    the harder it becomes to break free you
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    might think well maybe they don't mean
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    to do this maybe it's just how they are
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    and sure sometimes people are careless
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    with their words sometimes they
  • 00:05:27
    misunderstand sometimes they genuin
  • 00:05:30
    don't realize the impact they have on
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    others but a person who truly values you
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    respects you and cares about your
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    well-being will listen when you tell
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    them that something is hurting
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    you they won't dismiss you they won't
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    twist your words they won't use your
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    emotions against you so here's what you
  • 00:05:51
    need to understand a manipulative person
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    does not want resolution they want
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    control if you ever feel like you're
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    arguing in circles like nothing ever
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    gets solved like every confrontation
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    leaves you more drained and uncertain
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    than before that is not a coincidence
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    that is the point and the most dangerous
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    part the longer you stay in this cycle
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    the more normal it begins to feel you
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    start adapting you start adjusting your
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    behavior shrinking yourself just to
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    avoid conflict and before you know it
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    you're not even the same person anymore
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    you're hesitant where you used to be
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    confident you're anxious where you used
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    to be at peace you're dependent on their
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    approval in a way you never thought
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    you'd be that's how deep manipulation
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    runs it doesn't just change the way you
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    see them it changes the way you see
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    yourself and that's why you need to
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    recognize it early because the moment
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    you allow someone to rewrite your
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    reality you've handed them the power to
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    dictate your life you tell someone about
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    your dream your goal something you're
  • 00:07:01
    excited about maybe you're starting a
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    new business maybe you just got a
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    promotion maybe you finally found the
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    courage to pursue something you've
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    always wanted and at first they smile
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    they nod they say all the right things
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    but something feels off there's a
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    hesitation in their voice a forced
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    quality to their encouragement it's not
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    outright disapproval but it's not real
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    support either then slowly it starts the
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    little comment ments this subtle
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    discouragement are you sure you're ready
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    for that that's really competitive you
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    know most people fail at that right I
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    just don't want to see you get hurt on
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    the surface it sounds like concern it
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    sounds like wisdom but
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    underneath is something else it's not
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    about protecting you it's about holding
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    you
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    back and if you're not careful if you
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    don't recognize it for what it is those
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    words start to take root
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    maybe they're right you think maybe I'm
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    getting ahead of myself maybe I should
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    play it safe
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    and that's exactly what they want the
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    truth is not everyone is happy when you
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    succeed not everyone wants to see you
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    grow because when you grow when you
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    change when you break free from the
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    version of yourself they're comfortable
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    with it forces them to confront
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    something they don't want to
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    face their own stagnation the moment you
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    start Rising it shines a light on
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    everything they're not doing and that
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    makes them uncomfortable this is where
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    resentment comes in resentment is an
  • 00:08:38
    Insidious thing it festers in people who
  • 00:08:41
    feel stuck who feel left behind and
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    instead of using that discomfort as fuel
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    to improve themselves they turn it
  • 00:08:49
    outward they look at you the one who is
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    daring to move forward and they begin to
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    see you as the problem not because
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    you've done anything wrong but because
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    your progress is a reminder of their
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    failures and here's where it gets
  • 00:09:05
    dangerous they won't come out and say it
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    no that would be too obvious instead
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    they disguise it they'll act as though
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    they're looking out for you they'll tell
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    you they just want you to be careful
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    that they don't want you to get
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    disappointed and if you push forward
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    anyway if you ignore their warnings and
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    start to succeed that's when the real
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    hostility begins
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    maybe they downplay your accomplishments
  • 00:09:32
    oh that's nice but anyone could do that
  • 00:09:37
    maybe they suddenly act distant no
  • 00:09:39
    longer interested in your life the way
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    they used to be or Worse maybe they find
  • 00:09:44
    ways to undermine you spreading subtle
  • 00:09:47
    doubts about you to others making
  • 00:09:49
    comments designed to shake your
  • 00:09:51
    confidence twisting The Narrative so
  • 00:09:53
    that somehow your success becomes
  • 00:09:55
    evidence that you've changed that you've
  • 00:09:58
    become arrogant that you're leaving them
  • 00:10:00
    behind and the truly malevolent ones
  • 00:10:03
    they don't stop there they'll sabotage
  • 00:10:06
    you outright they'll make sure you miss
  • 00:10:09
    opportunities they'll plant seeds of
  • 00:10:10
    doubt in the minds of people who could
  • 00:10:12
    help you they'll find ways to ensure
  • 00:10:15
    that you stumble because if they can't
  • 00:10:17
    rise they'll make sure you fall but the
  • 00:10:20
    worst part is what it does to you
  • 00:10:23
    because if you're a good person if
  • 00:10:25
    you're someone who values relationships
  • 00:10:27
    who doesn't want to hurt people you
  • 00:10:28
    start feeling guilty you start wondering
  • 00:10:31
    if maybe you are changing in a bad way
  • 00:10:34
    maybe you should tone it down not try so
  • 00:10:36
    hard not shine so bright maybe if you
  • 00:10:39
    just make yourself a little smaller
  • 00:10:41
    they'll be more comfortable and that's
  • 00:10:43
    the Trap because the moment you start
  • 00:10:45
    adjusting yourself to make someone else
  • 00:10:47
    feel better about their own inadequacies
  • 00:10:49
    you are handing them control over your
  • 00:10:52
    life you are allowing their fears their
  • 00:10:54
    failures their insecurities to dictate
  • 00:10:58
    your path and if you do that long enough
  • 00:11:00
    you'll wake up one day and realize
  • 00:11:02
    you're not living for yourself anymore
  • 00:11:04
    you've become a prisoner of someone
  • 00:11:07
    else's resentment now here's the hard
  • 00:11:10
    truth you cannot change these people you
  • 00:11:15
    you cannot Inspire them to be happy for
  • 00:11:17
    you you cannot work hard enough be kind
  • 00:11:20
    enough explain yourself well enough to
  • 00:11:23
    make them want to see you succeed
  • 00:11:25
    because their problem isn't with you
  • 00:11:29
    their problem is with themselves and
  • 00:11:31
    until they choose to fix that they will
  • 00:11:33
    continue to project their resentment
  • 00:11:35
    outward sabotaging not just you but
  • 00:11:38
    anyone who dares to challenge their
  • 00:11:40
    comfort zone so what do you do how do
  • 00:11:43
    you handle it when someone you care
  • 00:11:45
    about starts to turn against you when
  • 00:11:48
    their hidden resentment becomes an
  • 00:11:50
    anchor trying to pull you down first you
  • 00:11:54
    recognize it for what it is you stop
  • 00:11:58
    making excuses is for them you stop
  • 00:12:00
    justifying their behavior you stop
  • 00:12:02
    thinking that if you just reassure them
  • 00:12:04
    enough if you just prove that you're
  • 00:12:06
    still the same person they'll come
  • 00:12:08
    around they
  • 00:12:10
    won't because this isn't about you it's
  • 00:12:13
    about their refusal to take ownership of
  • 00:12:16
    their own
  • 00:12:17
    life second you set
  • 00:12:22
    boundaries and this is difficult
  • 00:12:24
    especially when it's someone close to
  • 00:12:26
    you but you need to decide are you going
  • 00:12:29
    to let their resentment control you or
  • 00:12:31
    you going to keep moving forward because
  • 00:12:33
    you cannot do both you cannot shrink
  • 00:12:36
    yourself and still become who you are
  • 00:12:38
    meant to be and finally you accept that
  • 00:12:41
    not everyone is meant to come with you
  • 00:12:45
    growth requires Letting Go it requires
  • 00:12:48
    recognizing that some relationships no
  • 00:12:51
    matter how long they've been in your
  • 00:12:53
    life are not built to withstand your
  • 00:12:55
    Evolution and that's okay because the
  • 00:12:59
    people who truly belong in your life
  • 00:13:01
    will never resent your success they will
  • 00:13:05
    never make you feel guilty for growing
  • 00:13:08
    they will celebrate with you they will
  • 00:13:10
    push you further they will remind you
  • 00:13:13
    that you are capable of even more than
  • 00:13:15
    you believe and those are the people who
  • 00:13:18
    deserve a place in your
  • 00:13:20
    life those are the people who will help
  • 00:13:22
    you reach your full potential but you
  • 00:13:25
    will never find them if you are too busy
  • 00:13:28
    holding on to to those who secretly hope
  • 00:13:31
    you fail there's a kind of person who is
  • 00:13:33
    always in need always struggling always
  • 00:13:35
    reaching out with some new crisis some
  • 00:13:37
    new disaster some new emergency that
  • 00:13:40
    requires your immediate attention and
  • 00:13:43
    because you're a good person because you
  • 00:13:46
    care because you don't want to see
  • 00:13:49
    people suffer you step in you help you
  • 00:13:52
    listen you offer your time your energy
  • 00:13:55
    your resources and at first it feels
  • 00:13:58
    like the right thing to do it feels good
  • 00:14:01
    to be needed to be the person someone
  • 00:14:03
    can rely on but after a while something
  • 00:14:05
    strange starts to happen you notice that
  • 00:14:07
    no matter how much you give It's never
  • 00:14:10
    enough no matter how much advice you
  • 00:14:12
    offer how much support you provide the
  • 00:14:14
    problems never seem to get sold the
  • 00:14:17
    emergencies never
  • 00:14:19
    end and you start to realize that this
  • 00:14:23
    person doesn't actually want
  • 00:14:26
    solutions they don't want to improve
  • 00:14:29
    their life you know they don't want to
  • 00:14:31
    take responsibility what they want is
  • 00:14:33
    for you to carry the weight of their
  • 00:14:34
    existence while they continue making the
  • 00:14:36
    same mistakes indulging in the same
  • 00:14:39
    destructive behaviors and refusing to
  • 00:14:40
    change and if you try to step back if
  • 00:14:43
    you say I can't keep doing this I need
  • 00:14:45
    to take care of myself
  • 00:14:47
    too
  • 00:14:49
    suddenly
  • 00:14:50
    you're the bad guy suddenly you're
  • 00:14:54
    selfish suddenly after everything you've
  • 00:14:56
    done they turn on you guilt tripping you
  • 00:14:59
    making you feel like you're abandoning
  • 00:15:02
    them like you're heartless like you
  • 00:15:04
    never really cared in the first place
  • 00:15:06
    and you find yourself
  • 00:15:08
    apologizing apologizing for setting a
  • 00:15:11
    boundary apologizing for not letting
  • 00:15:14
    them drain you dry but let's be clear
  • 00:15:16
    about something a relationship whether
  • 00:15:18
    it's a friendship a partnership a family
  • 00:15:23
    bond is supposed to be reciprocal it's
  • 00:15:26
    supposed to be about Mutual support
  • 00:15:28
    about both people bringing value to each
  • 00:15:31
    other's
  • 00:15:32
    lives but some people don't see
  • 00:15:34
    relationships that way they see people
  • 00:15:36
    as resources they see you as a resource
  • 00:15:39
    someone to use someone to pull from
  • 00:15:42
    someone to take from without ever giving
  • 00:15:44
    anything back and the way they justify
  • 00:15:47
    it the way they keep you trapped is by
  • 00:15:51
    creating an illusion of
  • 00:15:53
    helplessness they make you believe that
  • 00:15:56
    they can't do it on their own that they
  • 00:15:57
    need you and if you're not careful if
  • 00:16:00
    you don't recognize what's happening you
  • 00:16:02
    start believing it too you start
  • 00:16:04
    thinking if I don't help them who will
  • 00:16:07
    if I don't carry them they'll fall apart
  • 00:16:11
    but here's the truth they
  • 00:16:13
    won't because people like this always
  • 00:16:16
    find someone else if it's not you it'll
  • 00:16:20
    be someone
  • 00:16:21
    else they will always find another
  • 00:16:23
    shoulder to cry on another person to
  • 00:16:26
    take advantage of because this isn't
  • 00:16:28
    about them needing help it's about them
  • 00:16:30
    refusing to help themselves and here's
  • 00:16:33
    the really dangerous part the more you
  • 00:16:35
    give the weaker you become you stop
  • 00:16:38
    focusing on your own life your own goals
  • 00:16:41
    your own well-being because you're
  • 00:16:43
    constantly caught up in their chaos you
  • 00:16:45
    start feeling exhausted burned out
  • 00:16:47
    emotionally drained and you tell
  • 00:16:49
    yourself I just need to help them a
  • 00:16:52
    little longer and then things will get
  • 00:16:54
    better but things never get better the
  • 00:16:57
    chaos never ends because that's the
  • 00:16:59
    point the chaos is what keeps you
  • 00:17:01
    engaged the chaos is what keeps you
  • 00:17:03
    distracted and the worst part they don't
  • 00:17:05
    feel guilty about it they don't feel
  • 00:17:07
    ashamed in fact if you ever express your
  • 00:17:09
    exhaustion if you ever tell them you're
  • 00:17:12
    struggling you'll notice something they
  • 00:17:15
    don't really care they might act like
  • 00:17:17
    they do they might say all the right
  • 00:17:19
    things but when it comes time to
  • 00:17:22
    actually support you the way you've
  • 00:17:24
    supported them they're nowhere to be
  • 00:17:27
    found because people like this aren't
  • 00:17:30
    interested in Balance they aren't
  • 00:17:32
    interested in fairness they are
  • 00:17:34
    interested in taking as much as possible
  • 00:17:37
    while giving as little as
  • 00:17:39
    necessary and if you're not careful if
  • 00:17:42
    you don't recognize what's happening
  • 00:17:44
    they will drain you completely your
  • 00:17:47
    energy your motivation your self-respect
  • 00:17:50
    and then when there's nothing left to
  • 00:17:52
    take they move on they find someone else
  • 00:17:55
    and they leave you there wondering how
  • 00:17:57
    you ended up so empty so depleted so
  • 00:17:59
    lost now you might be thinking but what
  • 00:18:02
    if they really do need help what if I'm
  • 00:18:04
    the only person in their life who truly
  • 00:18:06
    cares and that's exactly the kind of
  • 00:18:08
    thinking that keeps people trapped
  • 00:18:11
    because there's a difference between
  • 00:18:12
    helping someone who is genuinely trying
  • 00:18:15
    and enabling someone who is just using
  • 00:18:18
    you as an emotional crutch ask yourself
  • 00:18:21
    this are they making any effort to
  • 00:18:23
    change are they taking even small steps
  • 00:18:26
    to improve their situation are they
  • 00:18:28
    showing gratitude appreciation any sign
  • 00:18:32
    that they value your
  • 00:18:34
    support or are they just expecting it
  • 00:18:37
    are they treating your kindness like an
  • 00:18:39
    obligation like something they're
  • 00:18:40
    entitled to because if it's the latter
  • 00:18:43
    you're not helping them you're keeping
  • 00:18:45
    them comfortable in their dysfunction
  • 00:18:48
    you're making it easy for them to stay
  • 00:18:50
    exactly where they are and that's not
  • 00:18:52
    compassion that's self-destruction you
  • 00:18:55
    are not responsible for carrying another
  • 00:18:57
    adult's burdens in itely you are not
  • 00:19:00
    obligated to set yourself on fire just
  • 00:19:02
    to keep someone else warm you have a
  • 00:19:05
    life too you have dreams goals
  • 00:19:07
    responsibilities things that matter to
  • 00:19:09
    you and the more you allow yourself to
  • 00:19:11
    be pulled into someone else's
  • 00:19:13
    NeverEnding chaos the more you sacrifice
  • 00:19:16
    your own future and here's the final
  • 00:19:18
    piece of this some people will never
  • 00:19:21
    change not because they can't but
  • 00:19:24
    because they don't want
  • 00:19:26
    to because playing the victim is easier
  • 00:19:29
    than taking
  • 00:19:30
    responsibility because getting sympathy
  • 00:19:33
    is easier than doing the hard work of
  • 00:19:37
    self-improvement and if you keep giving
  • 00:19:39
    to a person like that all you're doing
  • 00:19:43
    is delaying the moment when they finally
  • 00:19:45
    have to face themselves so the question
  • 00:19:47
    is how much of your life are you willing
  • 00:19:49
    to give away before you realize that you
  • 00:19:52
    deserve better Envy is one of the most
  • 00:19:55
    corrosive emotions a person can have and
  • 00:19:58
    it's one of the most dangerous traits in
  • 00:20:00
    someone who's close to you most people
  • 00:20:03
    think of Envy as a petty fleeting
  • 00:20:05
    feeling something harmless something we
  • 00:20:07
    all experience from time to time but
  • 00:20:09
    that's a mistake because when Envy
  • 00:20:12
    festers when it's allowed to take root
  • 00:20:14
    it twists people it turns them bitter
  • 00:20:18
    resentful and quietly or sometimes not
  • 00:20:21
    so quietly destructive and here's the
  • 00:20:24
    thing an envious person will rarely
  • 00:20:26
    admit what they feel
  • 00:20:29
    they won't come out and say I resent you
  • 00:20:32
    because you're doing something I never
  • 00:20:34
    had the courage to do no they'll mask it
  • 00:20:38
    they'll disguise it under false concern
  • 00:20:41
    subtle put Downs dismissive comments if
  • 00:20:45
    you tell them about something good in
  • 00:20:46
    your life something you're proud of
  • 00:20:48
    their reaction will tell you everything
  • 00:20:50
    maybe they change the subject maybe they
  • 00:20:53
    downplay it maybe they act uninterested
  • 00:20:55
    but Underneath It All there there's a
  • 00:20:59
    tension a barely concealed discomfort
  • 00:21:02
    with the fact that you are moving
  • 00:21:03
    forward while they are standing
  • 00:21:06
    still and here's where it gets worse
  • 00:21:09
    envious people don't just feel
  • 00:21:12
    resentment they act on it not always in
  • 00:21:15
    obvious ways not always in ways you can
  • 00:21:17
    easily call out but slowly subtly they
  • 00:21:20
    will work to undermine you they will
  • 00:21:23
    plant doubts in your mind they will make
  • 00:21:25
    sure that you don't feel as confident as
  • 00:21:28
    you should that you second guess your
  • 00:21:30
    choices they will disguise their
  • 00:21:33
    resentment as helpful advice are you
  • 00:21:35
    sure you want to do that it's risky you
  • 00:21:38
    know not everyone is cut out for that
  • 00:21:40
    kind of thing I just don't want to see
  • 00:21:42
    you get disappointed if you listen if
  • 00:21:44
    you let their words take
  • 00:21:47
    hold you start playing small you start
  • 00:21:51
    questioning yourself you start holding
  • 00:21:54
    back out of some misguided sense of
  • 00:21:56
    guilt for making them
  • 00:21:59
    uncomfortable and that's what they want
  • 00:22:02
    they want you to hesitate because your
  • 00:22:05
    hesitation proves them right it
  • 00:22:08
    validates their belief that the world is
  • 00:22:10
    unfair that some people just get lucky
  • 00:22:13
    that success isn't about effort but
  • 00:22:15
    about circumstance because if you
  • 00:22:17
    succeed if you prove that it is possible
  • 00:22:20
    to rise to improve to push past
  • 00:22:23
    limitations then what does that say
  • 00:22:25
    about them it says that they could have
  • 00:22:27
    done the same
  • 00:22:29
    and that's a truth they don't want to
  • 00:22:31
    face Envy isn't just passive bitterness
  • 00:22:34
    it can turn into active sabotage maybe
  • 00:22:37
    it's a so-called friend who suddenly
  • 00:22:39
    starts gossiping about you the moment
  • 00:22:41
    you get ahead maybe it's a colleague who
  • 00:22:44
    takes credit for your work or subtly
  • 00:22:47
    discredits you in front of others maybe
  • 00:22:49
    it's even someone in your own family
  • 00:22:51
    someone who rather than being proud of
  • 00:22:53
    your achievements makes cutting remarks
  • 00:22:55
    finds ways to make you feel guilty for
  • 00:22:57
    your own success uccess and if you don't
  • 00:22:59
    recognize what's happening if you don't
  • 00:23:02
    realize that their negativity isn't
  • 00:23:04
    about you it's about them then you risk
  • 00:23:07
    internalizing it you risk carrying their
  • 00:23:10
    resentment like a weight on your back
  • 00:23:12
    holding yourself back just to make them
  • 00:23:15
    more comfortable but the worst part the
  • 00:23:18
    most Insidious part Envy is rarely
  • 00:23:22
    isolated it doesn't exist in a vacuum it
  • 00:23:25
    comes with a whole host of other toxic
  • 00:23:27
    traits manipulation deceit a refusal to
  • 00:23:31
    take
  • 00:23:32
    responsibility because an envious person
  • 00:23:35
    can't afford to take responsibility if
  • 00:23:38
    they did they'd have to admit that their
  • 00:23:40
    failures are their own doing and that's
  • 00:23:42
    too painful so instead they create
  • 00:23:45
    narratives they convince themselves that
  • 00:23:48
    life is unfair that others have it
  • 00:23:50
    easier that their lack of success is
  • 00:23:52
    because of something outside their
  • 00:23:54
    control and then they look at you the
  • 00:23:57
    person proving them wrong
  • 00:23:59
    and they lash out and here's the reality
  • 00:24:02
    you cannot fix these people you cannot
  • 00:24:05
    explain to them that success is about
  • 00:24:08
    effort that they have the power to
  • 00:24:11
    change because they don't want to hear
  • 00:24:14
    it they will twist your words dismiss
  • 00:24:17
    your perspective or Worse paint you as
  • 00:24:20
    the villain as someone who just doesn't
  • 00:24:23
    understand as someone who thinks they're
  • 00:24:25
    better than them they will make you feel
  • 00:24:27
    guilty for things you have earned for
  • 00:24:29
    opportunities you have created for the
  • 00:24:31
    effort you've put in and if you let them
  • 00:24:34
    they will hold you back you need to pay
  • 00:24:38
    attention you need to watch people's
  • 00:24:41
    reactions when you succeed because the
  • 00:24:44
    people who truly care about you they
  • 00:24:46
    will celebrate with you they will be
  • 00:24:48
    inspired by you they will see your
  • 00:24:50
    success as proof that they too can
  • 00:24:53
    rise but the ones who don't the ones who
  • 00:24:56
    sit in silence or change the subject or
  • 00:24:59
    offer half-hearted
  • 00:25:01
    congratulations they are telling you
  • 00:25:04
    something and if you ignore that warning
  • 00:25:07
    if you let them stay too close for too
  • 00:25:09
    long their resentment will infect you it
  • 00:25:13
    will drain you it will make you question
  • 00:25:15
    whether you deserve what you've worked
  • 00:25:17
    for and that is a trap you cannot afford
  • 00:25:21
    to fall into now I want to hear from
  • 00:25:25
    you have you ever dealt with someone
  • 00:25:27
    like this how did you handle it drop
  • 00:25:29
    your thoughts in the comments below
  • 00:25:31
    let's get this conversation going and if
  • 00:25:34
    this message hit home for you like this
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    video share it with someone who needs to
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    we're building a community of strong
  • 00:25:43
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    too valuable to waste on the wrong
  • 00:25:52
    people
Tags
  • toxic relationships
  • manipulation
  • self-awareness
  • boundaries
  • envy
  • personal growth
  • support
  • resilience
  • emotional health