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you
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[Music]
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[Music]
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I always I'd be my head why me why me
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there's millions of people in the world
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and I ended up over disability my name's
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Jeremiah some 27 from Leeds and I was
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born with spina bifida and hydrocephalus
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[Music]
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growing up with a disability has his
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fair share of difficult images
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I mean when I when I when I was growing
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up I um you know I always ask the
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question of why me and I always fought
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that I was the only disabled person in
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the world when you see normal kids I
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wouldn't play around playing with the
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friends and you're sat there on the
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sidelines because you can't do that that
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that takes its toll
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I wasn't satisfied in myself I'd blame
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myself for not being able to do it I
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always thought that Hannah looks easy
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you know we've seen the normal kids do
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it any other and you think that's easy
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and then you try it with with with the
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problems that you've got and it's very
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difficult you you then get frustrated in
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yourself because you can't do it as well
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as they can and as a child you you
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haven't got the the mental ability to
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realize that what you have is is
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somewhat different you think in your
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mind that you're like everybody else but
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you're not in school without segregated
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you know I felt apart from everybody
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else being a child with it with a
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disability it makes you a target for the
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normal people like bullies and stuff it
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makes you a tag it because most of us
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can't fight back most of us don't like
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to fight back people think that they can
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just take advantage and that's and
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that's where it becomes a bit more of a
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challenge and I was quiet quite an angry
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child because of it you know the
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name-calling calling me like crippled
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and sparse and all that stuff you know
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people who grew up on the back of
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wheelchair and they pushed me to push me
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down the halls as fast as they could you
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know try to take me out of it oh the
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lock had a so that I couldn't get to
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lesson
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oh the thruster for me
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in lesson but for me I thought that was
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doing it because of because of my
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disability and I didn't know why
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I think because they didn't know and
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they didn't understand the problems that
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people with disabilities had I believe
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that they that there was just acting out
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because they didn't know but I believe
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that if they did know there wouldn't be
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as many boys you know I don't think
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there was a much awareness then as there
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is that bullying affected me quite badly
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obviously a bully is quite a tough
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person so for me I didn't I didn't stand
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up to a bully I just bought it and not
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hide it and then I'd go home having the
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worst day ever and then I would take it
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out on family members
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I made my mum quite honest with how bad
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my behavior was she spent the last
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sixteen years waiting on me hand and
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foot and then I take her out on her she
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would take me to hospital appointments
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you know she would change my dressing
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she would order my medical supplies she
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would cook Maite she would do everything
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and for me to sit and say that I made my
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mother nervous even as an adult it just
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saddens me when I wasn't when I can walk
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I feel great until a scene of reflection
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because to me in my mind when I'm
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walking I'm walking like a normal human
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you know I'm walking like a normal
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person and then I'll catch my reflection
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in the mirror and I'll see you know my
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hips moving and he's going inwards and
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wobble and it's hard to believe that
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that is actually me because I don't I
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don't see that I don't think it's ever
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gonna change I don't think my ability is
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ever gonna get better I think the only
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the only thing that will get better is
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my ability to understand it
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I think the biggest issue that I have as
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well is not being able to find the thing
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that everybody wants which is a
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relationship and and children I've got
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to go children which I love very much I
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see them as much as I can they're very
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very important to me I'm against having
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children of my own there's times where I
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thought I've wanted one but then I don't
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because I'm scared because if I do have
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a child there's a 50% chance that that
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child will be disabled like myself and I
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know it sounds selfish of me you know
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not wanting to we have a child because
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of a disability but I don't want that
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child haven't go through the same I am
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[Music]
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and I didn't not even want to accept
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that I was disabled I didn't want to
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accept that I couldn't do this when
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people stare the DA asked they just
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stare and then throw your monkey look
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and walk and keep walking that's the
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judgment side the father of even asked
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me my mate said to me the the reason
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that people stare was that I'm an
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exception to the rule because they've
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never seen that because most disabled
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people don't get out and that's what
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changed my mind to appreciation now my
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mind says I am away I'm innocent I am
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Who I am
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because it how can you I as a person
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want anybody else to accent me when I
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can't even accent me
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[Music]
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my biggest goal is to just inspire
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people just just want to keep going and
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to to never live in fear of your own
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emotion or your own mind I'm so
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independent in myself even doing my
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washing and do my almost you know I
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can't walk into it back in so for random
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and woman doing so I'm finding ways that
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suit me to be able to do things
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people say oh you can't do this can't do
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this or you can't do that but my
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philosophy now is watch me because now
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I'm not afraid to try I'm not afraid to
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try something new I'm not afraid to at
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least give it somewhat of a girl because
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then at least I can say that I have
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tried it and you know I might fail but
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that failure is worth some people say
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you'll never be out the wheelchair and
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that may be the case but as long as
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there's something to lean onto I can
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walk
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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you
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[Music]