How does birth order affect relationships?

Birth order impacts how we interact in relationships, fostering traits like leadership or passivity.

What typical traits are associated with oldest, middle, and youngest children?

Oldest children are often leaders, middle children are easy-going, and youngest are sometimes leaders but often want things their way.

What are the dynamics when people of different birth orders date?

Oldest children dating each other may clash due to their leadership traits, while oldest and youngest pairs may have a clearer leader-follower dynamic.

Is birth order the only factor affecting relationships?

No, birth order is just one of many factors that influence relationships.

Why do parents often bond with children who share their birth order?

Parents often feel an emotional connection to children with the same birth order because they share similar experiences.

How does understanding birth order help in communication?

It helps improve communication by understanding personality tendencies and how to approach them.

What are some traits of only children?

Only children can have traits similar to oldest children unless heavily socialized with peers or relatives; it depends on upbringing.

How do personality traits manifest in family roles?

Some oldest children might take charge naturally due to their upbringing, and youngest might resist control.

A Therapist Reveals How Birth Order Affects Your Relationships | Bustle

00:06:32

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2qcbjTQA_I

Summary

TLDRIn this video, Nedra Tawwab discusses the influence of birth order on personal relationships, exploring common traits associated with being the oldest, middle, or youngest child. The oldest children often display leadership qualities due to their upbringing, middle children tend to be easy-going, and youngest children may either seek leadership or are comfortable being cared for. Tawwab highlights how these dynamics not only play out in family roles but also in dating and friendships. She notes that when two oldest children date, conflicts can arise due to their shared leadership tendencies, whereas an oldest and a youngest pairing often features a straightforward leader-follower role. Tawwab also points out that although birth order plays a role in shaping personality traits and relationships, other factors like personal experiences also contribute significantly. Moreover, she emphasizes that parents can often have an emotional connection with children sharing the same birth order as themselves due to shared experiences. Understanding birth order can improve communication by recognizing tendencies and addressing needs accordingly. For instance, oldest children might naturally take charge, middle children might need direct questions to express their views, and youngest children might need room for autonomy.

Takeaways

🔍 Birth order influences personality and relationships.
👨‍👩‍👦 Oldest children often become natural leaders.
🤝 Middle children are typically more adaptable and easy-going.
🍼 Youngest children may seek autonomy or care.
❤️ Birth order affects dating dynamics and friendship bonds.
👥 Shared birth orders among parents and children foster connections.
🗣 Understanding birth order aids communication and reduces conflicts.
🌟 Personal traits in relationships extend beyond birth order.
🏠 Family dynamics reveal personality traits influenced by birth order.
🎓 Insights into upbringing can explain behavioral patterns.

Timeline

00:00:00 - 00:06:32
Nedra Tawwab discusses the impact of birth order on relationships, highlighting roles such as the oldest, middle, youngest, and only child. She notes that oldest children often display leadership traits, middle children are adaptable, and youngest children may expect special treatment. These roles influence dynamics in romantic and interpersonal relationships, and while birth order can affect relationships, many other factors are important. She emphasizes understanding individuals' backgrounds for better communication and suggests that birth order influences parental connections with children. Lastly, she encourages open discussions about how birth order affects personalities and relationships.

Mind Map

Video Q&A

How does birth order affect relationships?
Birth order impacts how we interact in relationships, fostering traits like leadership or passivity.
What typical traits are associated with oldest, middle, and youngest children?
Oldest children are often leaders, middle children are easy-going, and youngest are sometimes leaders but often want things their way.
What are the dynamics when people of different birth orders date?
Oldest children dating each other may clash due to their leadership traits, while oldest and youngest pairs may have a clearer leader-follower dynamic.
Is birth order the only factor affecting relationships?
No, birth order is just one of many factors that influence relationships.
Why do parents often bond with children who share their birth order?
Parents often feel an emotional connection to children with the same birth order because they share similar experiences.
How does understanding birth order help in communication?
It helps improve communication by understanding personality tendencies and how to approach them.
What are some traits of only children?
Only children can have traits similar to oldest children unless heavily socialized with peers or relatives; it depends on upbringing.
How do personality traits manifest in family roles?
Some oldest children might take charge naturally due to their upbringing, and youngest might resist control.

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Subtitles

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00:00:00
(upbeat music)
00:00:05
- With birth order,
00:00:06
it's so interesting to know where we fall,
00:00:10
and how that impacts our relationships with other people.
00:00:14
My name is Nedra Tawwab.
00:00:16
And in this episode of a little bit better
00:00:19
we'll be talking about birth order,
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and how important it is for our relationships.
00:00:24
In our families, we are the oldest, the youngest,
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the only or a middle child.
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I happened to be the youngest.
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Many of my friends are the youngest
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and it really got me thinking,
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why am I so drawn to people who have
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the similar birth status?
00:00:42
And I started to do more research around it.
00:00:44
And I have found that a person who is typically the oldest,
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they tend to have more of those leadership qualities
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because they are used to taking care of people.
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And a person who might be the middle child,
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they typically get along with everybody.
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And they're like, okay, we'll do whatever,
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and the youngest, sometimes the leader
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but certainly like no, I'm used to having it my way
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or I'm super used to being cared for,
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more than it being indicative of who a person is,
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is interesting to see how they engage,
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based on their role in the family.
00:01:24
(ethereal music)
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In dating relationships,
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typically when two oldest children date,
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it is more head buddy,
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because they're both used to having that leadership role.
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Now, there are times when the oldest
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and the youngest sort of get together,
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but those people are looking for a partnership
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where there is a clear leader,
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and a clear person being cared for in a certain way.
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And sometimes when we're dating the person,
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we're like oh my gosh,
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like they don't care about anything,
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they're just like, yeah.
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Yeah, sometimes that's the middle child,
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and you're just like, I don't care,
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you figure it out like out, I'll do whatever,
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they're used to being in this space of going along
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to get along.
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And so it's so interesting in our romantic relationships
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how those dynamics play out in our friendships,
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in our work relationships,
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how we can see those personality traits,
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like clearly defined,
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whether it's someone who's more of a leader,
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someone who's trying to stand out,
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or someone who is like, yeah, either way I'll do it.
00:02:38
(instrumental music)
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I don't think any relationship is doomed
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solely based on birth order.
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It can certainly be impacted,
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but there are so many other factors to who we are.
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You'll see yourself in different scenarios.
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If there's an age gap, if you're the first male
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in the family, you are the first female in the family,
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those things certainly impact it.
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What I found really interesting in my research
00:03:06
on this is how parents tend to connect with a child
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that has a similar birth order to them,
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that they will start to have like this emotional tie
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because they understand the experience of this child.
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So it's really interesting to understand
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who we are based on how we fall in our families.
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In terms of communication,
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the more you know about a person
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the better you can communicate.
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And so if you're dealing with someone
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who might be a middle child
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and just has more of a passive approach to things,
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it's important to ask them a very direct yes or no question,
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so they can't, maybe they're way out of it.
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If you are dealing with someone who's the oldest
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and you know they'll take charge
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and maybe you don't want them to,
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it's important to advocate for yourself,
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because you know their personality
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is to care for the people around them.
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And a part of that is maybe taking ownership
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of the situation or taking charge.
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If it's someone who is the youngest and you feel like,
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oh my gosh, this person's like gonna do their own thing.
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They're really trying to carve out a personality here.
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Talk to them about how to meet your need
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of wanting a particular thing,
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but also giving them freedom in that role.
00:04:28
(upbeat music)
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With only children, it depends somewhat on your parents
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and their level of socialization.
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They can have some older child type qualities
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but if they've been socialized
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in a circle with perhaps a lot of cousins,
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then that looks a little different
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than a person who is actually an only child,
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and a person who is usually able to get most of the things
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that they want because their parents didn't have to disperse
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the energy in the house.
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So it's really based on how they were reared
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in their family.
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(upbeat music)
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Knowing a person like deeply knowing them,
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it takes the defenses around who they are,
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and what they do.
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Is not your friend telling you what to do
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as much as it is your friend trying to be organized.
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And you are a part of this organization,
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is not that, oh my gosh this person has to always
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have their way as much as it is.
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Wow, this person wants to be seen as important.
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And it gives us the opportunity to really
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flip the behaviors that we're seeing
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and use them for information and not judgment.
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In the comments, if you have experienced
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or noticed a birth order, if you have any fun conversations
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around your birth order in the family,
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I'd love for you to share them.
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It's a connect, say more about your personality
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and why you think that you're that way.
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And if you have a parent with a similar birth order to you,
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I would love to hear how that plays out.
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Like have you noticed any things
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and how they treat you or connect with you?
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It's so fun to see that community around
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what this looks like in your life.
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Subscribe to the Bustle channel.
00:06:22
(upbeat music)