00:00:00
imagine for yourself powerful sense of
00:00:03
destiny that at your birth you are
00:00:05
actually faded to accomplish something
00:00:07
great reassess your ambition ambition
00:00:10
nowadays is almost seen as a dirty word
00:00:13
but it's not it's a great thing it's the
00:00:15
source of anything that is powerful and
00:00:17
fantastic in this world stop feeling the
00:00:20
need to be so humble and self-
00:00:22
defferential in life if you have a pet
00:00:24
project that you've been wanting to do
00:00:26
think of actually starting it in the
00:00:28
near future repeat the these meditations
00:00:31
that I've given you on a daily
00:00:33
[Music]
00:00:38
basis we have to understand a basic law
00:00:41
of human nature we are social animals to
00:00:45
the core we are incredibly susceptible
00:00:48
to the moods and emotions of other
00:00:51
people all of this occurs unconsciously
00:00:55
and
00:00:56
nonverbally imagine a common social
00:00:59
setting
00:01:00
we are meeting a person for the first
00:01:03
time and they come up to us and they
00:01:05
seem somewhat insecure and
00:01:09
defensive we can smell their insecurity
00:01:12
they're scrutinizing our faces looking
00:01:15
for any kind of sense a sense of
00:01:18
displeasure on our part we can't help
00:01:21
feeling defensive and guarded in their
00:01:23
presence and they pick this up which
00:01:26
makes them even more insecure we end up
00:01:29
feeling feeling defensive in their
00:01:31
presence and we don't really even
00:01:33
understand why now imagine the oppos
00:01:36
scenario we're approached by someone who
00:01:39
comes up to us who is smiling and feels
00:01:42
confident they seem to be open to us
00:01:45
listening to us they seem to like us
00:01:48
without even ever knowing us and we
00:01:51
can't help but open up to them so one
00:01:54
attitude actually increases resistance
00:01:57
while the other attitude lowers
00:01:59
resistance distance there have been all
00:02:01
kinds of fascinating scientific studies
00:02:04
who have that have demonstrated this
00:02:06
phenomenon for instance it has been
00:02:09
shown that if teachers merely think that
00:02:12
their students are smart and are going
00:02:15
to get into University without ever
00:02:17
saying a word their students pick this
00:02:20
up and they actually perform better than
00:02:22
other students similar Studies have
00:02:25
shown that if we merely think positive
00:02:28
thoughts about another person that they
00:02:30
are good and interesting that other
00:02:33
picks it up nonverbally and it has a
00:02:35
positive effect on them now if you are a
00:02:38
leader in any level you must simply
00:02:41
understand this concept deeply for it
00:02:44
gives you the power to influence people
00:02:47
to lower their resistance to get them to
00:02:49
follow you without ever even asking them
00:02:52
to do it so let's go through the various
00:02:55
attitudes and the effect that each one
00:02:57
produces on other people
00:03:00
the first attitude is the hostile
00:03:03
attitude the person with a hostile
00:03:06
attitude actually expects and
00:03:08
anticipates negative behavior from other
00:03:12
people such a type of of person with
00:03:15
this attitude likes to present
00:03:17
themselves as tough and in command but
00:03:20
actually they're deeply afraid of their
00:03:22
employees they think that people are
00:03:25
never working hard enough they expect
00:03:28
mistakes and betrayal rails from others
00:03:31
they try to micromanage the actions of
00:03:34
even the lowest employee in the group
00:03:37
the entire company internalizes this
00:03:40
attitude and creates a hostile
00:03:43
environment in which there is constant
00:03:46
infighting and and mutual
00:03:50
suspicions ironically this leads to the
00:03:53
very mistakes and betrayals that the
00:03:55
leader feared the most I personally
00:03:58
witnessed this as the company American
00:04:01
Apparel where I served on the board of
00:04:04
directors the CEO Dove Charney had this
00:04:07
kind of hostile attitude and it led to
00:04:10
his
00:04:11
downfall the opposite of the hostile
00:04:14
attitude is the empathetic attitude the
00:04:17
one that you must try to
00:04:19
adopt the person with the empathetic
00:04:21
attitude begins with the opposite
00:04:23
assumption basically that people are
00:04:26
good and smart and loyal but that these
00:04:29
qu qualities must be cultivated and
00:04:31
brought out of them I once consulted
00:04:35
with a basketball coach a coach of a
00:04:38
team in the NBA he was about to start a
00:04:42
new job and he wanted my advice his
00:04:45
previous team had stopped listening to
00:04:48
him and tuned him out I told him that he
00:04:51
had been too Stern and too controlling
00:04:54
TR trying to control their every move on
00:04:56
the basketball court I advised his to
00:05:00
let go and stop controlling I advised
00:05:02
him to think positive thoughts of each
00:05:05
of his players and to treat them as
00:05:08
individual if they made mistakes he was
00:05:11
to forgive them but to keep teaching
00:05:13
them he could be tough but from an
00:05:16
empathetic starting point and the
00:05:19
results of this experiment that we went
00:05:21
into together have been astonishing this
00:05:23
year the team has become much more
00:05:26
cohesive they are opening to his
00:05:28
teaching and to listening to him and
00:05:32
they can take initiative if there are
00:05:34
any other bad apples on the team the
00:05:36
players themselves will do the policing
00:05:39
for the coach this season the team is
00:05:42
exceeding all expectations they're
00:05:45
having a very successful season okay the
00:05:49
next attitude is the anxious attitude
00:05:52
people with the anxious attitude like to
00:05:55
pres present themselves as being very
00:05:57
prudent very concern conservative and
00:06:00
very careful but in fact they are
00:06:03
riddled with fear they value routines
00:06:07
and can't stand any kind of chaos they
00:06:11
repeat the same strategies over and over
00:06:14
again and if there's any kind of stress
00:06:16
they crumble they're deathly afraid of
00:06:20
losing and so in things like
00:06:22
negotiations they actually lose more by
00:06:26
their careful and cautious approach the
00:06:28
entire company
00:06:30
internalizes their anxious moods and
00:06:33
because of this they miss all kinds of
00:06:35
opportunities in the world the company
00:06:37
has an overall stultifying atmosphere
00:06:41
which is what you will find in a lot of
00:06:42
large
00:06:44
corporations now the opposite of this is
00:06:47
the Bold adventurous Spirit whom I
00:06:50
believe Elon Musk
00:06:52
exemplifies musk is like an Explorer
00:06:55
from the 16th century he's always
00:06:58
thinking big
00:07:00
a car company a space rocket company um
00:07:04
transportation systems I remember
00:07:07
talking to a so-called expert a few
00:07:09
years ago who assured me that Tesla was
00:07:12
going to fail he told me that nobody
00:07:16
ever tries to start an automobile
00:07:18
company from scratch the reason is that
00:07:22
car manufacturing requires heavy
00:07:25
capitalization the costs of materials
00:07:28
are extremely expensive expensive and
00:07:30
labor costs are through the roof he
00:07:33
predicted that after a few years of
00:07:35
being un unprofitable Tesla would go
00:07:39
under but look at what happened to Elon
00:07:42
Musk through his bold and adventurous
00:07:45
Spirit he captivated the public which
00:07:48
then poured money into Tesla's stock
00:07:52
this supplied him with the very Capital
00:07:55
that he needed to create such a large
00:07:58
infrastructure it gave him enough money
00:08:00
to wait out the couple of years of not
00:08:02
having any profits now the stock price
00:08:06
of Tesla was and is incredibly inflated
00:08:11
but who
00:08:12
cares it became a self-fulfilling
00:08:15
Dynamic his incredible belief in himself
00:08:19
made other people believe in him and
00:08:21
part with their
00:08:23
money the Bold adventurous Spirit
00:08:26
actually gives you the power to alter
00:08:28
circum es in your life much as it did
00:08:31
for Elon Musk and people love working
00:08:34
for those who have this kind of
00:08:38
spirit next there is the insecure
00:08:42
attitude Leaders with this attitude will
00:08:45
often present themselves as being
00:08:46
incredibly aggressive but actually
00:08:49
they're they have very fragile Egos and
00:08:52
are riddled with
00:08:54
insecurities this could be Michael
00:08:56
Eisner the former CEO of Disney or it
00:09:00
could be I'm afraid to say president
00:09:02
Donald Trump such people cannot stand
00:09:06
any kind of criticism they have to be
00:09:08
surrounded by yes men and sycophants
00:09:12
they constantly have to have their ego
00:09:14
fed everyone around him has to be so
00:09:17
careful and color their words and so
00:09:19
such a leader never gets to hear what is
00:09:22
really going on in the world and
00:09:24
everybody in the group tends to
00:09:26
internalize this insecure attitude and
00:09:29
become insecure themselves and become
00:09:31
selfish and
00:09:33
self-serving now the opposite of the
00:09:35
insecure attitude is The Confident
00:09:37
self-image The Confident attitude such a
00:09:41
person has a very strong ego and a
00:09:43
credible sense of
00:09:46
Destiny they act like a tree they act
00:09:49
like a king to be treated like one now I
00:09:52
believe that 50 Cent exemplifies this
00:09:55
and 50 Cent is the one on the left in
00:09:57
case you didn't realize now who is 50
00:10:00
Cent he was a drug dealer a common
00:10:04
Hustler on the streets of Southside
00:10:07
Queens such Hustlers were a dime a dozen
00:10:11
and all of his former friends and
00:10:14
colleagues are either dead or in prison
00:10:17
now now what is the difference with 50
00:10:20
Cent well from a very early age he had
00:10:23
an incredible sense of destiny that he
00:10:26
was destined to be someone very very suc
00:10:29
successful he had this in his
00:10:31
imagination when he was 9 years old and
00:10:34
it became a self-fulfilling
00:10:37
Dynamic people who have been around 50
00:10:39
like I was for 6 months you can sense
00:10:42
this self-belief and it gives them
00:10:45
incredible Charisma their confidence
00:10:48
also happens to rub off on you sorry the
00:10:50
next attitude is the entitled attitude
00:10:54
this is a person who thinks who likes to
00:10:58
appear very aristocratic and Regal but
00:11:01
they're actually very very afraid of
00:11:04
people they expect obedience and respect
00:11:08
without ever having earned it they want
00:11:11
others to do all the hard work and if
00:11:14
ever there is a mistake they immediately
00:11:16
look for scapegoats to blame people who
00:11:19
work for this type end up feeling
00:11:21
extremely resentful because we live in
00:11:24
times where people are distrustful of
00:11:27
authority and no one likes working for
00:11:29
Kings or
00:11:31
Queens such types often Inspire hatred
00:11:34
in their employees and if there's the
00:11:36
slightest setback all the knives will
00:11:39
come out the opposite of this is the
00:11:42
self-reliant attitude this is someone
00:11:45
who works harder who's a leader but
00:11:47
works harder than everybody else and is
00:11:50
actually trying to earn their respect
00:11:53
Steve Jobs exemplified this in his
00:11:56
second stinted apple he was already some
00:11:59
someone highly very successful but no
00:12:02
one worked harder than he
00:12:04
did he he held himself to the highest
00:12:08
standards he was a
00:12:10
perfectionist and if there were ever any
00:12:12
kind of mistakes done in the design of
00:12:14
his products he was the one to blame for
00:12:17
that he took responsibility and look at
00:12:20
the effect of all this all of his
00:12:22
employees wanted to work that much
00:12:24
harder to earn his respect and to live
00:12:27
up to the high standards that he had
00:12:30
said now I know I have overloaded you
00:12:33
with a lot of information tonight but I
00:12:35
want to now turn to how we can actually
00:12:38
turn this information into something
00:12:40
practical in your daytoday lives the
00:12:43
first task is to assess your own
00:12:46
attitude and to do this you have to have
00:12:49
some distance from yourself to assess
00:12:52
your attitude look at how you relate to
00:12:54
other people are you quick to form
00:12:57
negative judgments of them do you
00:12:59
forgive people's flaws or do you
00:13:02
actively exaggerate them we can also
00:13:05
look at how other people react to us do
00:13:08
we notice that they are somewhat guarded
00:13:11
and and and defensive in our presence or
00:13:14
are they relaxed we can examine the
00:13:17
degree of connection that we established
00:13:20
between people do we always have to run
00:13:22
after people to get them to do things
00:13:24
for us do they come to us out of their
00:13:26
own desire and willpower to assess our
00:13:30
attitude we can also look at how we Face
00:13:33
adversity if there are mistakes do we
00:13:36
try to learn from them or do we
00:13:38
instantly blame other people for these
00:13:40
mistakes how do we respond to criticisms
00:13:44
and challenges do we tend to always
00:13:46
repeat the same stale strategies from
00:13:49
the past or are we open to new ideas
00:13:53
remember we can't see our own attitude
00:13:56
it is too unconscious we have to look at
00:13:59
through our actions through our patterns
00:14:01
of behavior and through how other people
00:14:04
see us on the same note engaging the
00:14:07
attitude of other people we must avoid
00:14:10
those who have a negative unhappy
00:14:13
attitude they will infect us with their
00:14:16
miseries their constant drama and their
00:14:20
insecurities on the other hand we must
00:14:23
associate with those with an expansive
00:14:25
attitude for they will in they will
00:14:28
infect us
00:14:29
with their joy and their
00:14:32
confidence okay now I want to examine
00:14:35
how we can actually practice this in our
00:14:37
daily lives and expand our attitude the
00:14:40
first one on there is yourself and I
00:14:43
want you to actively try to expand your
00:14:46
image of
00:14:47
yourself so here's an experiment you can
00:14:50
do tomorrow try to drop everything that
00:14:54
people have said about who you are and
00:14:57
try to reimagine yourself self think of
00:15:00
yourself as having Limitless potential
00:15:04
with resources of energy and resilience
00:15:06
that you haven't even begun to tap into
00:15:09
imagine for yourself a powerful sense of
00:15:13
destiny that at your birth you are
00:15:16
actually faded to accomplish something
00:15:18
great reassess your ambition ambition
00:15:22
nowadays is almost seen as a dirty word
00:15:25
but it's not it's a great thing it's the
00:15:27
source of anything that is powerful and
00:15:31
and fantastic in this world stop feeling
00:15:33
the need to be so humble and self-
00:15:36
defferential in life if you have a pet
00:15:39
project that you've been wanting to do
00:15:41
think of actually starting it in the
00:15:42
near future repeat these meditations
00:15:46
that I've given you on a daily basis now
00:15:49
when it comes to past present and future
00:15:51
I want you to loosen your relationship
00:15:54
with time I want you to let go of
00:15:57
everything in the past write down on a
00:16:00
piece of paper all of your past hurts
00:16:03
and traumas and pain and failures and
00:16:07
then look at it and then take a match
00:16:09
and light that piece of paper on
00:16:12
fire you're going to stop carrying with
00:16:14
you your entire lives all of this
00:16:17
emotional baggage you're going to light
00:16:19
it on fire and you're going to finally
00:16:20
let go of it in the present if you are
00:16:23
facing some kind of challenge or
00:16:26
important decision I want you to drop
00:16:28
the same old ideas and strategies from
00:16:31
the past and try to look at it from a
00:16:33
different angle ask yourself what would
00:16:36
Elon Musk or Steve Jobs or 50 Cent or
00:16:41
Leonardo da Vinci do in the same
00:16:44
situation when it comes to the future I
00:16:47
want you to be a Visionary I want you to
00:16:49
have a clear image of where you're going
00:16:51
to be in 5 years long-term thinking is
00:16:56
the only way to handle all of the chaos
00:16:59
in our world every month or so reexamine
00:17:03
this Vision that you have of your future
00:17:05
and try and strengthen this Vision turn
00:17:08
yourself into a student of the Zid
00:17:11
always looking for what are the trends
00:17:13
that are about to happen in the years to
00:17:15
come and for that purpose you need to
00:17:18
look at young people who are always the
00:17:20
signpost of future
00:17:23
Trends okay next it comes to people and
00:17:26
once again I'm asking you to elcid your
00:17:29
relationship with people your first
00:17:32
impulse is to always judge people and I
00:17:35
want you to take a pledge that tomorrow
00:17:37
you're going to try something very very
00:17:40
different you're going to try to
00:17:42
understand them instead of Judge them
00:17:45
take someone in your immediate circle
00:17:47
who you have never gotten along with and
00:17:50
who rubs you the wrong way try as an
00:17:53
experiment to figure out why they are
00:17:56
the way that they are think of them as a
00:17:59
fascinating character in a movie and you
00:18:02
want to understand their story instead
00:18:04
of foisting Your Own Story upon them the
00:18:07
next time you meet this person try to
00:18:10
think without ever voicing them some
00:18:12
actually different or even positive
00:18:14
thoughts about them and see how they
00:18:17
respond do they respond differently does
00:18:19
it alter the dynamic between you with
00:18:22
the toxic people in your life and
00:18:25
believe me there are a lot of toxic
00:18:26
people out there try to refrained from
00:18:29
getting emotional and sucked into all of
00:18:32
their drama try to understand why they
00:18:35
are so toxic what is their story so that
00:18:38
you can better defend yourself and not
00:18:41
get all emotional in their presence next
00:18:44
when it comes to adversity I want you to
00:18:47
embrace adversity and even failure an
00:18:51
entrepreneur who has never failed once
00:18:54
is not a true
00:18:57
entrepreneur by trying to realize your
00:18:59
vision or your or your business perhaps
00:19:02
before you're actually ready to start
00:19:04
you will make so many mistakes but it is
00:19:07
only through the mistakes that you make
00:19:09
in starting up this business that you
00:19:11
can actually learn and toughen yourself
00:19:14
up now when it comes to death your fear
00:19:17
of death is the source of all of your
00:19:20
other fears in life and what limits you
00:19:24
you need to begin to confront your
00:19:26
mortality and meditate it on a daily
00:19:29
basis like I do this is not a morbid
00:19:32
thought but something that should
00:19:33
energize you it will make you appreciate
00:19:37
every single day that you are alive it
00:19:40
will give you a sense of urgency to
00:19:43
realize your dreams before it is too
00:19:47
late as in the story of checkov by
00:19:50
confronting your mortality you will
00:19:52
actually increase your Z your sense of
00:19:54
zest in life and your sense of adventure
