Rarely Seen Mountain Wedding Rituals (Ibayyo Wedding in Bontoc, Philippines)

00:26:27
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6OaSY_uu6Y

Summary

TLDRThis video narrative presents a heartwarming story of Glaiza Abcalen and Melford Lapnawan, who are getting married in the traditional Ibayyo way. Starting as a romantic overture through 'dok-ong'—a cultural approach involving firewood chopping as a form of courtship—their relationship blossoms under the watchful eye of their community that embraces age-old practices. The story highlights the blend of tradition and modernity as they plan to incorporate a civil ceremony. Central to the narrative is the concept of communal cooperation known as 'Bayanihan', where community members come together to celebrate and support one another, especially during significant events like weddings. The extensive preparations include contributions from family and friends, ensuring that the wedding is as much a community celebration as it is personal. The story captures the essence of cultural heritage, communal unity, and the continuity of customs in Ibayyo weddings, reflecting values that hold the community together.

Takeaways

  • ❤️ Traditional courtship in Ibayyo involves chopping firewood—known as 'dok-ong'.
  • 🌾 Weddings are community-centric, with everyone contributing.
  • 🎉 A blend of modern and traditional practices in weddings, including Christian ceremonies.
  • 🏡 The concept of 'Bayanihan' promotes communal unity and support.
  • 👰 Ibayyo weddings extend beyond the couple to include the whole community.
  • 🌱 Cultural heritage and community values are central in events.
  • 🕊 Traditional customs coexist with contemporary religious practices.
  • 📦 Wedding preparations are elaborate, involving food storage and community effort.
  • 🫂 The spirit of togetherness and support is celebrated during weddings.
  • 🗣 The community takes pride in maintaining their cultural identity while integrating modern practices.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Glaiza Abcalen, a teacher in Manila, talks about her roots in Bayyo, a Mountain Province where she grew up farming. She recalls the traditional courtship method involving firewood offered by Melford Lapnawan, a lawyer she met in 2020. This practice symbolizes a man's interest, and they eventually nurtured their relationship over conversations and visits, leading to marriage plans.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Glaiza and Melford decided to have both a civil and traditional Ibayyo wedding. The tradition in Bayyo involves community contributions called "Qhugror," used to fund the wedding. These events are communal, often seen as reunions, supported by "Bayanihan," a spirit of communal unity, emphasizing the importance of kinship and mutual assistance in celebrations.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    The Bayyo community supports weddings with communal efforts like preparing meals from stored grains. The town, originally called "Hagpatan," derived its name 'Bayyo' from a misunderstanding with Spanish colonizers. Rituals before serving prepared meats include prayers by elders to ensure abundance, highlighting the community's reliance on shared agricultural practices.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The wedding celebration is marked by joyous "Tukor," involving singing, dancing, and children's games. A Christian wedding ceremony is conducted, demonstrating the harmony between traditional Ibayyo customs and adopted religious practices. Community involvement is celebrated, with prayers for prosperity and family life for the couple.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:26:27

    The concluding thoughts emphasize the harmonious blend of tradition and religion in the Ibayyo community. The value placed on camaraderie and mutual support persists, with people returning home for significant events. The community's dream is to maintain progress while upholding their cultural heritage and shared values of togetherness in both joyful and challenging times.

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Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • What is 'dok-ong'?

    'Dok-ong' is a traditional form of courtship in which a man chops firewood for a woman as a sign of interest.

  • How does the Ibayyo community assist in weddings?

    The community collects 'Qhugror,' a financial donation from relatives, to buy necessities for the wedding, treating it as a family reunion.

  • What role does tradition play in Ibayyo weddings?

    Tradition plays a vital role, as weddings are community celebrations with customs like 'dok-ong' and food prepared from stored rice and meats.

  • Can Ibayyo weddings include modern religious ceremonies?

    Yes, couples can have a Christian wedding while also practicing traditional Ibayyo customs and rituals.

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Subtitles
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  • 00:00:00
    (ethnic song)
  • 00:00:44
    (rooster crows)
  • 00:01:11
    - I’m Glaiza Abcalen. I work as a teacher in Manila.
  • 00:01:16
    Bayyo is in the Mountain Province,
  • 00:01:19
    so it’s far from Manila. This is where I grew up.
  • 00:01:23
    On this farm, I used to plant and harvest root crops.
  • 00:01:27
    I studied here.
  • 00:01:31
    - I’m Melford Lapnawan. I’m a lawyer.
  • 00:01:39
    -I met Melford around 2020.
  • 00:01:43
    He offered “dok-ong” to me.
  • 00:01:51
    I was in Manila then when my family informed me
  • 00:01:54
    that a man offered them firewood.
  • 00:02:05
    In our community, when a man chops firewood
  • 00:02:07
    for a woman, it’s a form of courtship.
  • 00:02:11
    If the woman is interested, they will engage
  • 00:02:13
    in conversation.
  • 00:02:14
    However, if the woman isn’t interested,
  • 00:02:17
    she may compensate him for the firewood instead.
  • 00:02:21
    - During the harvest season, I was conversing with everyone
  • 00:02:26
    when Glaiza's mother joined the conversation.
  • 00:02:29
    She asked me if I was single, and I said yes.
  • 00:02:34
    She then presented me with two choices:
  • 00:02:36
    offering "badang," assisting during the harvest,
  • 00:02:37
    or opting for "dok-ong," which involved chopping firewood.
  • 00:02:40
    I decided to try "dok-ong," thinking it might be
  • 00:02:42
    an opportunity to court Glaiza.
  • 00:02:45
    When I was on my way back to Baguio, I sent her a message.
  • 00:02:48
    I said, “Sorry that it all happened so suddenly.”
  • 00:02:50
    When I got home, I received a call from her.
  • 00:02:52
    “Can we talk first?”
  • 00:02:55
    - “Perhaps I can help you review for your board exams.
  • 00:02:59
    I know it’s going to be tough.”
  • 00:03:03
    Every night, we would jump on a video call.
  • 00:03:06
    Maybe that’s how our friendship grew.
  • 00:03:09
    Then he went to visit me in Manila.
  • 00:03:14
    - While we were eating, she suddenly asked me,
  • 00:03:16
    "What are your plans for us? I don’t know where I stand.”
  • 00:03:21
    So, I asked her directly, “Do you want to get married?”
  • 00:03:24
    - It all unfolded organically.
  • 00:03:26
    We became a couple, and subsequently,
  • 00:03:29
    we discussed having a civil wedding.
  • 00:03:33
    After that, being both Ibayyo, we recognized the need
  • 00:03:36
    to celebrate our wedding celebration
  • 00:03:38
    with the entire community.
  • 00:03:40
    - We thought that since our relationship began
  • 00:03:42
    in a traditional manner, we thought it fitting
  • 00:03:44
    to have a traditional wedding as well.
  • 00:03:50
    - The decision rests with the couple.
  • 00:03:53
    If both the man and woman are from this place,
  • 00:03:56
    they usually prefer to have their wedding here.
  • 00:03:58
    However, if one of them is from another town,
  • 00:04:03
    they have the option to choose between
  • 00:04:06
    getting married in the city or the province.
  • 00:04:14
    - A few weeks before the wedding,
  • 00:04:16
    somebody goes around to collect the “Qhugror,”
  • 00:04:19
    a financial donation from the couple’s relatives
  • 00:04:22
    for the wedding.
  • 00:04:23
    This is going to fund the purchase of pigs,
  • 00:04:26
    groceries, and vegetables.
  • 00:04:28
    Holding a traditional Ibayyo wedding is expensive because
  • 00:04:32
    it’s not just for the couple’s families;
  • 00:04:34
    it’s for the whole community.
  • 00:04:45
    People from distant places return to Ibayyo just to join
  • 00:04:50
    in the celebration. Many view it as a family reunion.
  • 00:04:54
    In Bayyo, it’s a custom that when someone marks
  • 00:04:58
    a milestone, such as building their first home,
  • 00:05:03
    all relatives gather to offer assistance.
  • 00:05:09
    The same goes for weddings.
  • 00:05:11
    If there’s one trait that can be observed
  • 00:05:14
    during this tradition, it’s the spirit of
  • 00:05:18
    “Bayanihan” (communal unity and cooperation).
  • 00:05:31
    - It was the will of their ancestors—
  • 00:05:34
    no matter what happens, there must always be kinship
  • 00:05:38
    within the community. If you’re an Ibayyo,
  • 00:05:41
    even if you’re not particularly close
  • 00:05:43
    to the person celebrating the milestone,
  • 00:05:44
    it is expected that you lend a helping hand.
  • 00:06:08
    This tradition is very important to those
  • 00:06:11
    of us who grew up here.
  • 00:06:14
    It’s a special feeling when we’re part
  • 00:06:16
    of these celebrations.
  • 00:07:41
    - The system of “Ug-ugfu” remains,
  • 00:07:43
    signifying that if you need assistance,
  • 00:07:47
    everyone will unite to lend a hand.
  • 00:07:50
    In return, you are expected to reciprocate and offer aid
  • 00:07:53
    in their times of need.
  • 00:07:54
    It like passes from one person to another.
  • 00:09:42
    - The community relishes the feast together
  • 00:09:44
    after contributing to various wedding tasks.
  • 00:09:48
    We’re currently on a break.
  • 00:10:11
    - We provide meals for everyone—
  • 00:10:13
    not only the workers but also the children
  • 00:10:17
    and even those passing by in the area
  • 00:10:19
    where the wedding will be held.
  • 00:10:22
    - The grains, yielding this rice, were stored for 25 years.
  • 00:10:25
    We planted them when our daughter Glaiza,
  • 00:10:28
    the bride, was just a baby.
  • 00:10:42
    - People here continue to rely on farming,
  • 00:10:46
    but we don’t sell our harvests; we store them
  • 00:10:50
    for our own consumption.
  • 00:10:52
    - Like today, on special occasions, we mill the harvests
  • 00:10:57
    and serve them to the wedding guests.
  • 00:11:03
    Barangay Bayyo was once known as “Hagpatan.”
  • 00:11:09
    According to legend, when the Spaniards arrived,
  • 00:11:12
    they encountered an elderly woman.
  • 00:11:15
    The foreigners asked, “What do you call this place?”
  • 00:11:20
    The woman answered, “Nagba-bayo ako,” (I’m pounding rice.)
  • 00:11:25
    From there, the colonizers assumed,
  • 00:11:28
    “Ah, this is Bayyo.”
  • 00:11:30
    That’s how we got the name of our town.
  • 00:13:05
    We have another ritual.
  • 00:13:08
    Before opening the stored meats,
  • 00:13:11
    kept in plastic drums or jars, elders whisper a prayer,
  • 00:13:19
    hoping it will be sufficient to feed all the guests.
  • 00:15:03
    (elders pray)
  • 00:16:47
    - We thank You, Father, for bringing together
  • 00:16:50
    these two hearts, the reason why we are all
  • 00:16:52
    gathered here.
  • 00:16:53
    We pray that You work through us throughout
  • 00:16:57
    this occasion, as Melford and Glaiza
  • 00:17:01
    become one in the sacred union of marriage.
  • 00:17:03
    We thank You for the food You gave us tonight.
  • 00:17:08
    Bless this food so that it will strengthen
  • 00:17:10
    and nourish our bodies.
  • 00:17:14
    This we ask in the name of Jesus, our savior, Amen.
  • 00:18:00
    - One of the things I’m particularly excited
  • 00:18:03
    about is “Tukor” because it’s the happiest part
  • 00:18:06
    of the celebration, where everyone joins in.
  • 00:18:08
    Kids will play, and everyone will dance and sing.
  • 00:18:10
    The elders offer prayers.
  • 00:19:08
    - “May God grant them with plenty of children
  • 00:19:12
    and good fortune, that even when they earn little,
  • 00:19:19
    they can still save up.”
  • 00:19:40
    - The next day is our wedding proper.
  • 00:19:45
    We will hold a Christian wedding.
  • 00:19:47
    Back in the day, they really followed
  • 00:19:50
    the customs and traditions but now, a couple can hold
  • 00:19:53
    a Christian wedding and still practice
  • 00:19:55
    the Ibayyo traditions.
  • 00:20:01
    - When it comes to religion also, we have accepted
  • 00:20:04
    that even our elders go to church.
  • 00:20:06
    There’s no conflict
  • 00:20:08
    between practicing the traditions with one’s religion
  • 00:20:11
    and it would be better for the people.
  • 00:20:13
    I'm very proud that we have integrated religion
  • 00:20:16
    but we have not lost our culture.
  • 00:22:01
    - Will you love him for better or for worse?
  • 00:22:05
    For richer or for poorer? In sickness or in health?
  • 00:22:34
    - After that, everyone will be fed again–
  • 00:22:37
    every person who came home.
  • 00:24:41
    - Our gratitude extends to our Ibayyo community,
  • 00:24:46
    particularly everyone in Bayyo who has been involved
  • 00:24:49
    in preparing for our special day even before our return.
  • 00:24:53
    - Every person contributed in their own way,
  • 00:24:55
    including elders who seemed to have difficulty walking
  • 00:24:59
    but still joined in the festivities!
  • 00:25:02
    It’s such a joy to be an Ibayyo because it makes you
  • 00:25:04
    feel one with the entire community.
  • 00:25:10
    - If you ask me, my dream for the Ibayyo community
  • 00:25:14
    is to persist in the path of progress,
  • 00:25:16
    a journey that requires our collective efforts.
  • 00:25:20
    I hope that our customs and traditions remain steadfast.
  • 00:25:27
    - The values of camaraderie and helping each other
  • 00:25:31
    should forever remain central to our practices.
  • 00:25:35
    - In times of happiness and in times of grief,
  • 00:25:38
    we are there to help each other.
  • 00:25:39
    It's innate for us to help.
  • 00:25:41
    During weddings, even those who are in the city,
  • 00:25:43
    make their way here, filling up the alleys!
  • 00:25:46
    The belief is ingrained in them that you must come home,
  • 00:25:49
    whether you’re in Manila, in Baguio City, or elsewhere.
  • 00:25:53
    You should always remember that this is where you came from.
Tags
  • courtship
  • Ibayyo community
  • traditional wedding
  • Bayanihan
  • cultural heritage
  • unity
  • customs
  • communal support
  • Christian wedding
  • family reunions