Robert Greene - How To Seduce Anyone With Psychology

00:05:13
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Fb7gYZDp8

Summary

TLDRThe video emphasizes the importance of focusing attention on others to improve social interactions and build connections. It suggests that considering others as more interesting and engaging them in conversations about their early life or childhood can be very effective. This approach taps into emotionally charged memories, fostering intimacy. Mirroring their experiences can furtherenhance connection, though it requires subtlety. The use of insinuations in communication can seed thoughts in others' minds, causing them to reflect on the encounter. Eliminating anti-seductive behaviors like talking too much, judging, or not listening, can significantly enhance one's social interactions. The video draws a parallel to the Greek play of Oedipus to suggest that understanding our past patterns can be enlightening and powerful.

Takeaways

  • 🧠 Focus on others' thoughts and ideas to find them fascinating.
  • 👶 Childhood discussions evoke strong emotional responses.
  • 🔄 Mirroring others helps build rapport effectively.
  • 🔍 Subtle cues in conversation can plant lasting impressions.
  • 🚫 Avoid anti-seductive behaviors to improve connections.
  • 🎭 Reference to Oedipus highlights unconscious life patterns.
  • 🎯 Aim for subtle influence to captivate others' interest.
  • 📚 Use of personal stories enhances connection strategically.
  • ⚡ Emotional hotspots in conversation can reveal much.
  • 💬 Let others lead conversations to feel valued and heard.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:13

    The speaker discusses the concept of shifting focus from one's own thoughts to others, describing this shift as a form of discovery comparable to exploring a new culture. The idea is to find interest in other people's lives, akin to seeing them as characters in a movie. This approach can be applied in various interactions, including professional and personal relationships, by encouraging others to talk about their childhood, which is often surrounded by strong emotions. The technique involves subtle questioning and mirroring shared experiences to connect deeply. The conversation also touches on the symbolism in the Greek play of Oedipus, highlighting how unaware individuals can be of their fate and life's patterns until confronted with them later in life. The narrative suggests that making people think about you after an interaction is a form of seduction, emphasizing the importance of body language and subtle indications over explicit communication. Lastly, it notes common anti-seductive behaviors like talking too much, being judgmental, and not listening, advising that avoiding these can enhance social interactions.

Mind Map

Mind Map

Frequently Asked Question

  • What is a key way to engage someone in conversation according to the video?

    Get them to talk about their childhood, as it invokes potent, emotionally-charged memories.

  • Why is mirroring in conversation considered powerful?

    Mirroring is a subtle, yet effective way to connect by showing similarities in experiences or feelings.

  • What role do insinuations play in interactions?

    Insinuations plant subtle thoughts or questions in a person's mind, making them think about you later.

  • How can one boost social interactions based on the video's advice?

    By eliminating anti-seductive tendencies like talking too much or judging others, and focusing on listening.

  • What is the significance of avoiding 'telling' in conversations?

    It allows the other person to open up more by focusing on their stories and experiences.

  • What literary reference is used to explain human behavior?

    The Greek play of Oedipus is referenced to show how unaware people can be of their behaviors and fate.

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  • 00:00:00
    [Music]
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    normally you go around more interested
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    in your own thoughts and ideas and
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    you're locked in your head it's like a
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    record like in the old final days going
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    around and round around the same grooves
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    right you just switch it around and you
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    tell yourself the other person is more
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    interesting than me
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    their life their thoughts their ideas
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    it's like an undiscovered world it's
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    like going to tahiti or something and
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    visiting another culture
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    they have experiences you've never had
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    they have a world that's not your world
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    it's fascinating they're like a
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    character in a movie
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    i want to understand it if somebody did
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    that to you suddenly in the office or in
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    the realm of a male female seduction you
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    would feel it you would go wow that's
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    rare and you would be halfway seduced by
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    just the attention okay so the main
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    thing is get them to talk about their
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    childhood obviously don't go tell me
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    about your father just get them to talk
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    about their early life without being you
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    know too inquisitive without making it
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    clear that that's what you're doing
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    everyone has this kind of emotional
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    attachment to their experiences as a
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    child to where they grew up to their
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    parents to their family to their
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    earliest friends
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    it's got all sorts of emotions
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    surrounding it that are very potent yeah
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    and uncontrollable so a very kind of
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    slip in question about someone's
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    childhood and then asking a few leading
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    questions and letting them do the
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    talking so if you're peppering them with
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    questions you look like a lawyer if they
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    do 70 of the talking they're not even
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    aware that they're doing that but you're
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    letting them talk you letting them be
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    the star but you find a foothold into
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    their what excites them
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    and you get them to talk and open up
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    about their childhood and then
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    occasionally a question and then
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    occasionally you go into your own life
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    to sort of show oh yeah you had that i
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    had something very kind of similar
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    mirroring people is a slightly
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    manipulative trick but it's very
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    powerful they're starting telling you
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    things about their childhood that are
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    powerful you go yeah i had something
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    very similar and you probably have had
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    something similar yeah that's a really
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    potent way of connecting to people but
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    you've got to be subtle it's an art to
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    getting people to talk and open up to
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    finding that thing that lights their
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    face up that gets them excited you know
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    if you touch upon a subject and you see
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    that they get nervous or they laugh a
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    lot they're very excited just put that
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    in your little index there and go and
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    return to it knows you've hit upon a
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    chord a subject that either excites them
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    or gives them like fear or whatever
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    there's something very powerful going on
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    there right it's kind of like there's
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    the ancient greek play of oedipus
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    he killed his father and then he ended
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    up marrying his mother crazy yeah and he
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    never realizes it until he's like in his
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    late 30s and he's gone through this his
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    whole career as king of this thebes and
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    then suddenly he's made aware of it
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    through various things that happen it's
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    like oh my god really i've done all that
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    this is what my life is and he's so
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    overwhelmed that he cuts his eyes out
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    and he blinds himself
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    as proof of you know how blind he was
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    wow so the greeks are saying in that
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    play that we're all kind of blind
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    fate kind of pushes us around and we're
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    not even aware of it and the moment of
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    feeling enlightened about becoming aware
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    of some of these patterns in your
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    childhood
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    is actually a great moment it's very
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    painful but it's very powerful you know
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    and in the course of a conversation
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    somebody says something
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    a little bit disturbing or a little bit
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    strong
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    and they go oh never mind i'm sorry i
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    didn't mean to say that forget about it
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    don't listen to what i just said well
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    obviously you're not going to forget
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    about it it's going to sit in your mind
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    and the seed has been planted that's the
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    kind of thing that insinuation is it's
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    never something direct it can be in your
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    body language it can be
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    in the fact that you appear in your
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    words not to be interested in someone
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    but your look your eyes say something
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    different than what your words are
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    saying
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    your look is insinuating desire while
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    your words are kind of neutral and blank
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    it's the art of planting seeds in a
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    person's mind where they go home after
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    they met you and they think what did he
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    say there what did he mean what was that
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    gesture
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    if you get people to think about you
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    when they go home you're halfway towards
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    a seduction because your spirit has
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    entered their mind and now they're
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    thinking about what you said about what
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    you did and you know
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    we all have anti-seductive
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    tendencies
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    talking too much
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    preaching
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    judging people
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    being sort of brutal with them
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    being in a hurry not listening
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    if you can just eliminate these
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    anti-seductive tendencies you're going
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    to go a long way to improving your
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    social interactions
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    [Music]
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    [Music]
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    you
Tags
  • social interactions
  • conversation techniques
  • mirroring
  • insinuation
  • childhood
  • connection
  • anti-seductive tendencies
  • Oedipus reference