7 Harsh Truths About Men I'd Share If You Were My Daughter
Summary
TLDRVideoen gir innsikt i syv viktige realiteter du bør være klar over før du begynner å date menn. Den understreker at menn er like overalt; både gode og dårlige menn finnes i alle land. Det å økonomisk prioritere rike menn over fattige sikrer ikke nødvendigvis de beste intensjonene. Det er viktig å unngå å gi opp sitt eget liv for en mann, spesielt uten langsiktig forpliktelse. Menn uten retning kan føre til usikre forhold, og vanene deres er viktige indikatorer på fremtidig suksess og forholdets helse. Bærekraftige forhold prioriteres over intense, kortvarige opplevelser for å gi stabilitet og varig glede i relasjonen.
Takeaways
- 🗺️ Menn er like overalt i verden.
- 💼 Økonomisk status betyr ikke alltid gode intensjoner.
- ⚖️ Ikke gi opp eget liv for en mann.
- 🧭 Viktig å finne en mann med retning i livet.
- 👀 Vær oppmerksom på menns vaner.
- 🔄 Søke bærekraftighet over intensitet i forhold.
- ✉️ Menn kan enkelt avslutte forhold.
- 🎓 Behold dine interesser og karrieremål.
- 🤝 Balansert makt i forhold gir respekt.
- 🔍 Analyser for fremtidig lykke.
Timeline
- 00:00:00 - 00:05:00
Videoen starter med en diskusjon om viktigheten av å forstå visse sannheter om menn før man begynner å date dem. Det nevnes at man kan unngå smertefulle erfaringer ved å lære disse sannhetene. For eksempel, 'menn er de samme overalt' understreker at man ikke skal anta at menn fra andre steder er bedre eller verre; gode og dårlige menn finnes uansett hvor man går.
- 00:05:00 - 00:10:00
Videoen fortsetter med å forklare hvordan både rike og fattige menn kan utøve manipulasjon, bare med forskjellige midler. Mens fattige menn kanskje bruker ord og manipulasjon, bruker rike menn pengene sine for å imponere og manipulere. Poenget er at økonomisk investering ikke alltid tilsvarer følelsesmessig investering, og man må være på vakt for ikke å bli lurt av verken rikdom eller tomme løfter.
- 00:10:00 - 00:15:00
Verter diskuterer devalueringstrikset som noen menn bruker, der de oppmuntrer kvinner til å miste selvrespekt i løpet av kortsiktig moro. Menn søker kortsiktig lykke ved å fremme eventyrlyst og spontanitet, men for langsiktig lykke, ser de etter seriøsitet og selvrespekt. Mennes ønsker for kortsiktig moro kan avvike fra deres langsiktige forholdskrav.
- 00:15:00 - 00:20:00
Det diskuteres viktigheten av å bevare egen identitet og uavhengighet i et forhold. Å gi fra seg karriere og vennskap for en mann kan gjøre kvinnen sårbar, spesielt hvis mannen bestemmer seg for å avslutte forholdet. Man bør ikke gi bort sitt liv til en partner som bare er en kjæreste, da han kan forlate deg når som helst, og du sitter igjen uten noe.
- 00:20:00 - 00:25:00
Videoen snakker om nødvendigheten av å velge en mann med retning og mål i livet. Mange menn mangler klarhet i hva de ønsker og hvordan de skal oppnå det. Kvinner oppfordres til å finne menn som har en plan og jobber mot målene sine, for i det lange løp er dette essensielt for et vellykket partnerskap og familieliv.
- 00:25:00 - 00:33:26
Til slutt diskuteres viktigheten av vaner, og hvordan de kan indikere fremtidig suksess eller mangel på det. Videoen avslutter med en diskusjon om forskjellen mellom intensitet og bærekraft i forhold. Å fokusere for mye på intense følelser kan føre til kortvarig lykke, mens bærekraftige forhold gir langvarig tilfredshet.
Mind Map
Frequently Asked Question
Hvilke viktige realiteter discuseres om menn?
Videoen diskuterer syv harde realiteter om menn man bør vite før man dater dem.
Er det forskjell på menn fra forskjellige land?
Videoen hevder at menn er like overalt, og gode og dårlige menn finnes i alle land.
Bør jeg prioritere rike menn over fattige menn?
Økonomisk status garanterer ikke gode intensjoner; både rike og fattige menn kan ha agendaer.
Hva bør man unngå når man dater?
Unngå å gi opp ditt eget liv og interesser for en mann uten forpliktelse.
Hvorfor er menns vaner viktige?
Vaner gir innsikt i hans framtidige suksess og innvirkning på relasjonens framtid.
Hvordan påvirker menns retning i livet et forhold?
Menn uten klart mål og retning kan føre til et forvirrende og usikkert forhold.
Hva betyr bærekraftighet i forhold?
Bærekraftighet handler om langvarig tilfredshet i stedet for kortvarig intensitet.
Hva er risikoen ved å stole helt på en mann?
Å stole helt på en mann uten å ha egne interesser kan legge altfor mye makt i mannens hender.
Hvordan kan du beskytte deg selv i relasjoner?
Behold dine egne interesser, jobb, og vennskap for å opprettholde personlig autonomi.
Hva kan vaner avsløre om en mann?
Vaner kan indikere fremtidig suksess eller mangel på det, og påvirker forholdets fremtid.
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- 00:00:00what if I told you there are some
- 00:00:02brutally honest things that you must
- 00:00:04know about men before you begin to date
- 00:00:07them what if I also told you if you
- 00:00:10choose not to learn these things you
- 00:00:12will eventually be taught them through
- 00:00:15the painful experiences that you will
- 00:00:18have with men if you would rather hear
- 00:00:20it than experience it then join me on
- 00:00:23today's show where we'll be discussing
- 00:00:25seven harsh truths about men I'd share
- 00:00:28with you if you were my daughter that
- 00:00:31way you can learn of the reality you're
- 00:00:34bound to face as soon as you begin
- 00:00:37dating men number one men are the same
- 00:00:41everywhere you're under the impression
- 00:00:43that all the bad men live in the USA and
- 00:00:46so let's say you are living in the USA
- 00:00:49and because you live in the USA you
- 00:00:51think to yourself H I'm only going to
- 00:00:53meet horrible men here they all don't
- 00:00:55know what they want they're all really
- 00:00:58feminine they all want me to give them
- 00:01:00princess treatment none of the men in
- 00:01:02the USA are at all what I'm looking for
- 00:01:04but you want to know who is what I'm
- 00:01:06looking for he lives in Italy because I
- 00:01:09have this fantasy that when I take a
- 00:01:12trip to Italy I'm going to be staring at
- 00:01:14the Eiffel Tower it's going to be
- 00:01:16sparkling in my face there's going to be
- 00:01:17a slight breeze from the west and then a
- 00:01:20man is going to tap me on the shoulder
- 00:01:22I'm going to look back he's going to say
- 00:01:24Madame I just wanted to give you your
- 00:01:26perfume that you dropped back there and
- 00:01:28I wanted to let you know know that this
- 00:01:30scent is unlike any scent I've ever met
- 00:01:33I've ever smelt in my entire life and
- 00:01:35you say oh my gosh that's such a magical
- 00:01:37and kind thing of you to say and then
- 00:01:39the two of you kiss in front of the
- 00:01:41Moonlight while the Eiffel Tower is
- 00:01:43glowing and the stars are out at night
- 00:01:44here's the problem right someone said
- 00:01:46that's France oh that is in France right
- 00:01:48that a is not nilly right you get my
- 00:01:50point see when you begin to believe that
- 00:01:52hey all the good men or my fantasy is
- 00:01:55existing in uh Italy or France or
- 00:01:59wherever now you start to say okay the
- 00:02:02man of my dreams is from there not where
- 00:02:05I'm from he's from Italy so when I go to
- 00:02:07Italy or I go to France right whichever
- 00:02:10whichever one I go to France I go to
- 00:02:12Italy and I meet a guy I automatically
- 00:02:16begin to assume that guy is one of the
- 00:02:18good men because I met him in the the
- 00:02:21place where I imagined all the good men
- 00:02:24to exist but the problem is and this is
- 00:02:26where I come in as your dad to let you
- 00:02:28know some he truths about men men are
- 00:02:31the same everywhere meaning everywhere
- 00:02:34you go there will be bad men everywhere
- 00:02:37you go there will also be good men never
- 00:02:40be of the belief that just because a guy
- 00:02:43is from a different country a different
- 00:02:45city a different culture a different
- 00:02:48ethnicity that that necessarily makes
- 00:02:50him a bad or a good man okay you make no
- 00:02:55assumptions when you start dating guys
- 00:02:58that they're either bad or good simply
- 00:03:00because they're from a different area or
- 00:03:02simply because you're not accustomed to
- 00:03:03dating those type of men the reason I
- 00:03:05say that is because you can easily
- 00:03:07become tricked by men who just aren't
- 00:03:10from your area because you believe all
- 00:03:12the good men live in Italy or you
- 00:03:15believe all the good men live in France
- 00:03:17and so this man that you met in your
- 00:03:19magical moment on the Eiffel Tower while
- 00:03:21it was sparkling you said to yourself oh
- 00:03:24this is definitely the man I'm looking
- 00:03:25for so in everything that happens in
- 00:03:28your relationship from there on out you
- 00:03:30give him the benefit of the doubt
- 00:03:31because you're of the belief that oh
- 00:03:33you're exactly who I want you're the
- 00:03:35kindest most nice most appreciative most
- 00:03:37amazing gentleman I'll ever meet in my
- 00:03:39entire life and so I'm never going to
- 00:03:41doubt that I'm never going to question
- 00:03:43that because I know that I always wanted
- 00:03:46to meet a man in Italy and I know that
- 00:03:49the men in Italy are so amazing you want
- 00:03:51to know what the people from Italy or
- 00:03:53the people from France are saying about
- 00:03:55all the men in their area they're saying
- 00:03:57all our men are garbage you should go
- 00:04:00across the world to USA cuz that's where
- 00:04:03all the handsome big buff masculine men
- 00:04:07exist good men are everywhere meaning
- 00:04:10good men are also in your town and in
- 00:04:12your city there's also very bad men in
- 00:04:15your town and in your city it's your job
- 00:04:17to decipher in the process of meeting
- 00:04:20them and getting to know them which they
- 00:04:23are for number two do not convince
- 00:04:25yourself that rich men are not the same
- 00:04:29as as the poor men okay we're going to
- 00:04:31draw a little bit of a graph here see in
- 00:04:34today's 2024 World you have a lot of
- 00:04:37people talking to you about how a man
- 00:04:40who really likes you will do what what
- 00:04:42will he do spend money and what will the
- 00:04:45poor broke men do that you don't want
- 00:04:47they will they'll make you pay but here
- 00:04:49I am as your father here to tell my
- 00:04:52precious daughter it doesn't matter
- 00:04:54whether he makes you pay or whether he
- 00:04:57pays for everything and spends a lot of
- 00:04:59money money the reason for that is
- 00:05:01because both rich men and poor men
- 00:05:05understand that there is a strategy to
- 00:05:07playing women they just do it slightly
- 00:05:10differently see the poor men in which
- 00:05:13you've been accustomed to and which
- 00:05:15everyone is trying to uh make you aware
- 00:05:18of they will use words and lies and
- 00:05:23manipulation to essentially trick you
- 00:05:26into believing into something that will
- 00:05:28then have you sleeping with them or
- 00:05:31allow them to take advantage of you
- 00:05:33whether it be physically or emotionally
- 00:05:34or get girlfriend treatment from you
- 00:05:36without them putting any effort or
- 00:05:38energy into you okay that's what the
- 00:05:41poor men will do now the rich men they
- 00:05:44have different a different level of
- 00:05:46resources but the outcome or the thing
- 00:05:49that they're trying to do if they're
- 00:05:50trying to play you is still the same so
- 00:05:53instead of using their words the rich
- 00:05:56man just use their money now how do they
- 00:06:00use their money they use their money by
- 00:06:02flashing it in front of you
- 00:06:04understanding that if I spend a lot of
- 00:06:07money on you if I uh you know take you
- 00:06:10out on fancy dates you've been watching
- 00:06:13all these other content creators and
- 00:06:15relationship advice gurus tell you make
- 00:06:17sure he's investing make sure he's
- 00:06:19spending all his money on you which is
- 00:06:21great but you've paid so much attention
- 00:06:23to that that even the rich men say to
- 00:06:25themselves I know majority of these
- 00:06:28women are paying attention to the the
- 00:06:29amount of money I'll spend I also know
- 00:06:32I'm a rich man meaning I have a lot of
- 00:06:34funds in excess meaning I can spend that
- 00:06:38money on her and make it look like I'm
- 00:06:41really invested in her and invested in
- 00:06:43this relationship you want to know why
- 00:06:45that's so amazing for the men because
- 00:06:47when they use their money to make you
- 00:06:49believe that they're actually invested
- 00:06:51in you they then get to rush this
- 00:06:55process uh quicker than you regularly
- 00:06:57would because you believe this is your
- 00:06:59man this is who you're looking for and
- 00:07:01then they say perfect now that you
- 00:07:03believe I'm your man now that your guard
- 00:07:05is down I'm going to get what I want
- 00:07:08from you I.E to sleep with you okay so
- 00:07:11in both of these scenarios just because
- 00:07:14they use different means to do that that
- 00:07:16doesn't mean that they're not trying to
- 00:07:17take advantage of you okay and I want
- 00:07:19you to recognize that because I don't
- 00:07:22want you to get fooled by dating rich
- 00:07:25men who will still play you okay because
- 00:07:28them Having excess as funds just means
- 00:07:31that instead of making you pay for that
- 00:07:33first date you want to know what they do
- 00:07:34instead they pay for the entire date
- 00:07:36they let you spend $300 on the meal then
- 00:07:39they say hey come back to my place let's
- 00:07:41drink a bottle of really expensive wine
- 00:07:43you go back to his place you get drunk
- 00:07:44off that expensive bottle of wine you
- 00:07:47you he says hey come sleep on my really
- 00:07:49expensive bed you come you lay down on
- 00:07:51his really expensive bed he smashes you
- 00:07:53with a nice expensive premium uh condom
- 00:07:56on and then he sends you on your way in
- 00:07:59a nice Uber XEL or Uber black all right
- 00:08:02and all the same you still end up
- 00:08:04getting used uh the way about going
- 00:08:07about it is just slightly different so I
- 00:08:10don't ever want you to think that
- 00:08:11Financial investment right when a man
- 00:08:13will spend money on you equals emotional
- 00:08:16investment okay because what both of
- 00:08:18these men are trying to do when they
- 00:08:20take advantage of you is they're trying
- 00:08:22to avoid actually emotionally investing
- 00:08:25you in you and this relationship while
- 00:08:28simultaneously getting from you the
- 00:08:30level of seriousness or investment that
- 00:08:32you would be giving to a man you are
- 00:08:34actually in a relationship with okay
- 00:08:36number there's a little bit of a trick
- 00:08:38of devaluation that the men will give
- 00:08:41you when they meet you okay so we're
- 00:08:43going to split this board here into so
- 00:08:46on the top here we have short-term
- 00:08:48happiness and on the bottom here we're
- 00:08:50going to have long-term happiness now
- 00:08:53here's the thing about the way men will
- 00:08:56uh devalue you and encourage you to
- 00:08:58devalue yourself see in short-term
- 00:09:01happiness there's very particular things
- 00:09:03that men want out of you and their
- 00:09:06relationship with you for short-term
- 00:09:08happiness right so he'll tell you things
- 00:09:11like hey I want you to be really fun I
- 00:09:14love girls that are
- 00:09:15spontaneous okay I love girls that are
- 00:09:18adventurous I love girls that take risks
- 00:09:22go out of their comfort zone so you're
- 00:09:24thinking in your mind oh if I want to be
- 00:09:27uh really attractive to him if I want to
- 00:09:29be this really seductive version of
- 00:09:31myself I should be thinking outside the
- 00:09:34box I should be doing I should be crazy
- 00:09:36the crazier I am the more attractive I
- 00:09:39am to him because he's telling me all
- 00:09:41the ways he wants fun spontaneous
- 00:09:43adventurous just you know different
- 00:09:45right I can be different I I can get him
- 00:09:47to like me and so what do you do you go
- 00:09:50on the dance floor with him and then you
- 00:09:52know you just started meeting him you
- 00:09:54just started dancing with him you're
- 00:09:55thinking I want to be fun adventurous
- 00:09:56exciting so you unbutton his pants on
- 00:09:58the Dance Floor and you're feeling his
- 00:10:00singling while you're on the Dance Tour
- 00:10:02because you want to be fun spontaneous
- 00:10:04and exciting and adventurous right
- 00:10:06that's adventurous he's hard on the
- 00:10:08dance floor and you're feeling him up
- 00:10:10inside of his pants that's that's fun
- 00:10:12right spontaneous super fun okay but
- 00:10:13here's the problem this is short-term
- 00:10:15happiness but the thing is when you're
- 00:10:17dancing with him he's like oh this is
- 00:10:19exactly what I was looking for oh you
- 00:10:21crazy girl you crazy you you you target
- 00:10:24out a storm and it's fun in the moment
- 00:10:26but then you want to know what happens
- 00:10:27after he has that short-term happiness
- 00:10:29and he encourages you to do that down
- 00:10:31the line a couple of months he then says
- 00:10:34you know what I was I was I was thinking
- 00:10:36about our relationship and uh I just
- 00:10:39feel like we're we're not really on the
- 00:10:41same page it's a a very particular type
- 00:10:43of girl that I'm looking for and uh I
- 00:10:46feel like me and you just don't mesh I
- 00:10:47think um I'm looking for some someone a
- 00:10:50little bit more serious and I just feel
- 00:10:52like I feel like you just really just
- 00:10:54want to party and have fun so H I'm
- 00:10:57looking for a different type of vibe and
- 00:10:58you're sitting like wait um I thought
- 00:11:00you wanted fun and spontaneous yeah I
- 00:11:03wanted fun and spontaneous but you know
- 00:11:05a different type of fun and a different
- 00:11:07type of spontaneous you want to know why
- 00:11:09they do that because short-term
- 00:11:11happiness and long-term happiness are
- 00:11:13completely different what he wants for
- 00:11:15long-term happiness he wants serious
- 00:11:18commitment he wants to see that you have
- 00:11:20self-respect that you have boundaries
- 00:11:24all the things that he encouraged you
- 00:11:28not to do before before or encourage you
- 00:11:30to do the exact opposite before this is
- 00:11:33why you cannot listen to men when they
- 00:11:36tell you what they want they I'm
- 00:11:38actually going to go into dad mode here
- 00:11:40men will always tell you that they want
- 00:11:43something from you that benefits
- 00:11:45themselves they will never tell you that
- 00:11:48they want something from you that would
- 00:11:50make being in a relationship harder or
- 00:11:52more difficult so when you start asking
- 00:11:56men what they want and I'm talking about
- 00:11:58the men you're actually dating when you
- 00:12:00start asking the men that you're dating
- 00:12:02what they want from you understand
- 00:12:04they're going to tell you or give you an
- 00:12:06answer that serves their short-term
- 00:12:08happiness okay majority of the time most
- 00:12:11of the time just assume it's all the
- 00:12:13time they will never give you an answer
- 00:12:15that serves long-term happiness because
- 00:12:17you want to know if what would happen if
- 00:12:19he gave you an answer that served
- 00:12:21long-term happiness he would say hey uh
- 00:12:24actually tell me no a lot so that I know
- 00:12:26that you have boundaries have self
- 00:12:29respect so um you know don't always be
- 00:12:31available to me don't drop everything
- 00:12:34for me don't drop your career and your
- 00:12:36friendships for me hey say no to
- 00:12:39sleeping with me make me wait for it
- 00:12:41think about this logic men will never
- 00:12:44tell you that they will never encourage
- 00:12:46you to do that but simultaneously those
- 00:12:49will be the only moments or the only
- 00:12:51character traits that men will think of
- 00:12:53when they want long-term happiness so
- 00:12:56the men are always are actually going to
- 00:12:58be encouraging you to devalue yourself
- 00:13:01that's why I call it the devaluation
- 00:13:02trick they're going to encourage you to
- 00:13:04devalue yourself and then once you do
- 00:13:07that they'll say ah actually I you're
- 00:13:09not who I'm looking for you don't have
- 00:13:11the type of value or you're not the type
- 00:13:13of woman that I want in my life so don't
- 00:13:16fall for the trick of thinking oh when I
- 00:13:19ask the guy that I'm dating what he's
- 00:13:21looking for I'm going to listen to what
- 00:13:23he has to say about what he's looking
- 00:13:25for take it to heart and try and change
- 00:13:28and adjust myself to be more of that
- 00:13:30because they only want short-term
- 00:13:32happiness short-term happiness serves
- 00:13:35them the most you being fun spontaneous
- 00:13:38and adventurous serves him absolutely
- 00:13:41perfectly because when you do that
- 00:13:43you're not thinking of long-term
- 00:13:44consequences number four this is your
- 00:13:47life and this is the man's life in your
- 00:13:49life you have things like your girls
- 00:13:52your fam your job and your passions he
- 00:13:55also has very similar things right he's
- 00:13:58got his boys he's also got work Hobbies
- 00:14:01this is going to be a little bit of a
- 00:14:02fatherly talk here okay this is the
- 00:14:03whole point of the show you have to
- 00:14:05understand that in this life the person
- 00:14:08you need to look out for the most is you
- 00:14:10and it is always going to be a mistake
- 00:14:13when you begin sacrificing parts of your
- 00:14:15life for a man especially and this is
- 00:14:17the going to be the really dangerous and
- 00:14:19tricky part that I want to make you
- 00:14:20aware of see even the men that will come
- 00:14:23to you and tell you H Habib T I want to
- 00:14:26take care of you do everything for you
- 00:14:28your such an amazing queen of a woman
- 00:14:31you shouldn't be doing anything okay you
- 00:14:34shouldn't even be lifting a finger I
- 00:14:36want to take care of you you stop you
- 00:14:39need to stop going to school stop
- 00:14:41studying stop stop doing anything stop
- 00:14:43working you can't be working you're
- 00:14:46working at a restaurant as stop that
- 00:14:48immediately you're my woman now I take
- 00:14:51care of you I pay for everything I want
- 00:14:52to pay for your rent I want to pay for
- 00:14:54your Cardinal I want to do everything
- 00:14:56for you right sounds good in a dream in
- 00:14:58a fantasy in a Disney princess movie but
- 00:15:00you're not in that and here's the
- 00:15:02problem see what's going to happen when
- 00:15:05these guys come across you and they tell
- 00:15:07you how much of a queen you are and how
- 00:15:09they want to take care of everything
- 00:15:11even when they begin taking care of
- 00:15:13everything you lose each one of these
- 00:15:16things right you lose your job then you
- 00:15:19lose your passions right then you kind
- 00:15:22of lose your fem cuz you're spending all
- 00:15:23your time with him and you lose your
- 00:15:25girls okay so now your circle is EMP and
- 00:15:29you've essentially transferred all of
- 00:15:31this over here to him he's got all of
- 00:15:35this now and your circle is empty but
- 00:15:38here's the problem you have to
- 00:15:40understand these men that tell you this
- 00:15:43that you're dating can quite literally
- 00:15:46this is 2024 quite literally send you a
- 00:15:49text message and end the relationship
- 00:15:53when this man is your boyfriend that's
- 00:15:54how the kids are doing it by the way
- 00:15:56right they're doing it over text they
- 00:15:57don't even meet up to break up anymore
- 00:15:59when he is your boyfriend he owes you
- 00:16:03technically nothing all he owes you is
- 00:16:07to tell you that he's breaking up with
- 00:16:09you when he wants to stop being your
- 00:16:11boyfriend I'm not saying that to scare
- 00:16:13you while I kind of am we're having a
- 00:16:15fatherdaughter conversation here but
- 00:16:16what I want you to understand is do not
- 00:16:20let go of the things that are the most
- 00:16:23important to you in your life because
- 00:16:25you get a new boyfriend that man can
- 00:16:28pick up up the phone and send you a text
- 00:16:31message with a couple of words and end
- 00:16:33the entire relationship but once you've
- 00:16:36given him your work you you've let go of
- 00:16:39your girls you've let go of your family
- 00:16:41you've let go of your job and your
- 00:16:42passions now you have nothing and
- 00:16:45remember I always tell you as your
- 00:16:47father and I love you so much and I care
- 00:16:49about you I tell you relationships are
- 00:16:51like War everyone's fighting for control
- 00:16:53so now that you've given him everything
- 00:16:55in your life and you have nothing left
- 00:16:57for you what do you think happens if one
- 00:17:00day he wakes up and he says huh you know
- 00:17:03what I I was kind of feeling like our
- 00:17:06relationship would be much better if we
- 00:17:08had an open relationship I was just you
- 00:17:10know I was out and I was I was reading
- 00:17:12up on
- 00:17:13polyamory and you know I I was really
- 00:17:15starting it was really starting to
- 00:17:17connect with me how we should be
- 00:17:19interconnected with everyone else in the
- 00:17:21world and the universe and the stars and
- 00:17:25I just feel like I need to love on as
- 00:17:27many people as I possibly Cam and I feel
- 00:17:30like a open relationship would be the
- 00:17:33best example of that but I also feel
- 00:17:35like I think for the benefit of you and
- 00:17:38your loyalty to me I feel like it would
- 00:17:41be best served to be open one-sided so
- 00:17:44I'm open to give as much love as I can
- 00:17:46cuz you know I have a lot of love to
- 00:17:47give you know I'm a very loving person
- 00:17:49and then you end up saying
- 00:17:51well I mean you're paying my
- 00:17:54rent you're paying my car
- 00:17:57note h I have to rely on you to
- 00:18:00literally live I don't have a job if we
- 00:18:02break up so then you say I don't like it
- 00:18:06but sure whatever because now you have
- 00:18:08nothing and you sacrificed your entire
- 00:18:10life for a man who can break up with you
- 00:18:12over text and now you're in in between a
- 00:18:16rock and a hard place because you have
- 00:18:19no way to support yourself now because
- 00:18:22you've allowed him to do all the
- 00:18:24supporting of you it originally sounded
- 00:18:26amazing when he was going to support you
- 00:18:28and do everything for you but now that
- 00:18:30he's actually you know doing things that
- 00:18:33you don't like and you want to walk away
- 00:18:35you have no more leverage because in the
- 00:18:38process of allowing him to do everything
- 00:18:40for you you gave him all of your power
- 00:18:42now that he has all of your power he can
- 00:18:45flip the script on you turn into someone
- 00:18:47different and now you are forced to
- 00:18:49accept it because if you walk away you
- 00:18:52have no way to pay your rent you have no
- 00:18:54way to pay your car note you have no way
- 00:18:56uh to work you have no job no future no
- 00:19:00friends no nothing why because you
- 00:19:03believed a man when he first told you
- 00:19:05hey I want to take care of you and do
- 00:19:08everything for you you should be a
- 00:19:09stay-at-home wife he didn't give you
- 00:19:11stay-at-home wife ring but he told you
- 00:19:13you should be a stay-at home wife so you
- 00:19:15should quit going to med school quit
- 00:19:18getting your bachelor's degree quit
- 00:19:19going to college you can't work as a
- 00:19:22server you can't be at that restaurant I
- 00:19:24want you to be here with me all the time
- 00:19:26and I want to take care of you 247 seven
- 00:19:29it sounded amazing but he's just your
- 00:19:31boyfriend as much as I know these boys
- 00:19:33that you date you're going to love them
- 00:19:35and you're going to think they're
- 00:19:35amazing I want you to understand people
- 00:19:37change and things change and in a
- 00:19:40relationship you want to make sure you
- 00:19:41always keep your leverage that way
- 00:19:44anyone who tries to flip the script on
- 00:19:46you knows that you are more than willing
- 00:19:48to walk away your Leverage is your power
- 00:19:51and your power also subsequently equals
- 00:19:54your level of respect people will
- 00:19:56respect you when they know that you have
- 00:19:59a level of power and control as well
- 00:20:02people don't respect you when they see
- 00:20:04you have nothing and you need them
- 00:20:06that's when they begin to take advantage
- 00:20:08of you even in your relationships even
- 00:20:10with the men you think are so amazing
- 00:20:12and so awesome you can never give away
- 00:20:15your leverage you can never give away
- 00:20:17your power not saying that being a
- 00:20:19stay-at-home wife there's anything wrong
- 00:20:20with that but you should be a
- 00:20:22stay-at-home wife I'm going to give you
- 00:20:24a dose of reality here majority of the
- 00:20:26men in this world do not have Direction
- 00:20:29they don't know what they want they
- 00:20:31don't know where they want to go and
- 00:20:32they don't know how to get there that's
- 00:20:34just the reality of life I have to tell
- 00:20:35you you're my daughter I love you I care
- 00:20:37about you after we get out of that
- 00:20:39reality now I want you to realize there
- 00:20:41are men with direction that know what
- 00:20:44they want and how they're going to get
- 00:20:45there we want you to align yourself with
- 00:20:48those men only the rest of those you
- 00:20:51know large group of men who don't know
- 00:20:53what they want and don't know how to get
- 00:20:54there leave them absolutely alone why
- 00:20:58because you you are eventually not going
- 00:20:59to be you're going to be my daughter
- 00:21:01always but eventually you're going to
- 00:21:03grow up and be that man's wife and in a
- 00:21:06regular heterosexual relationship he is
- 00:21:08going to be the head of the household
- 00:21:11right he's going to be the leader not
- 00:21:12that you're not capable and intelligent
- 00:21:14and you not smart yourself as an
- 00:21:17individual but he will be the head of
- 00:21:19your household and he has to be able to
- 00:21:21lead not only you but also your children
- 00:21:24as well that you're going to have with
- 00:21:26him and even though you're still my
- 00:21:28daughter I'm eventually going to give
- 00:21:30you away and you're G to have your own
- 00:21:33family and build your own family and
- 00:21:35your own tribe without me if that man
- 00:21:37doesn't have direction or know what he
- 00:21:39wants he will never be able to lead you
- 00:21:42and your children that's very bad
- 00:21:43because I can't help you then I can't
- 00:21:45help to come in and provide direction to
- 00:21:48your relationship and your immediate
- 00:21:49family even though I'm your dad and I
- 00:21:51love you I have my own woman and my own
- 00:21:54family and my own things to tend to and
- 00:21:56as you become an adult you have have to
- 00:21:58VI off and you have to trust that your
- 00:22:00man is capable of making good decisions
- 00:22:03because if your man is a man without
- 00:22:05Direction and one day he says oh you
- 00:22:08know I just I don't really like to think
- 00:22:10too hard you know I just like to one day
- 00:22:12if I'm over here I go to the left and
- 00:22:14then maybe one day if I'm feeling it I
- 00:22:16go to the right and then another day you
- 00:22:18know I might go over here and then I
- 00:22:20might go up one day and oh today I want
- 00:22:22to go to and now I want to go down and
- 00:22:24I'm here one day and here and another
- 00:22:26day and I'm here and I'm here and I'm
- 00:22:27here and I'm here and I'm here here and
- 00:22:28I'm here and I'm here all of a sudden
- 00:22:30you're in a maze and you want to know
- 00:22:32what happens when you're in a maze you
- 00:22:34become very confused you don't know
- 00:22:35where's in you don't know where's out
- 00:22:38you don't know how to get out you don't
- 00:22:39know how to get to the center and you
- 00:22:40don't know how to get to your
- 00:22:41destination you're just wandering around
- 00:22:44in circles make sure when you begin
- 00:22:46dating men ex out all of the other stuff
- 00:22:49about feeling good and you just want to
- 00:22:51be in la la land and you and all the
- 00:22:53other stuff figure out first if that guy
- 00:22:55has Direction in his life if he doesn't
- 00:22:58you'll be wasting all of your time if he
- 00:23:01does then you can start thinking about
- 00:23:04all the other stuff in a relationship
- 00:23:06and whether he's the one that you're
- 00:23:07looking for if you meet men without
- 00:23:10Direction they will literally drive you
- 00:23:12around in circles until that car runs
- 00:23:16out of gas in which case you will then
- 00:23:19step out and say it was fun while we
- 00:23:21were driving around in circles I'm going
- 00:23:23to go off somewhere else and do
- 00:23:25something else you're going to sit in
- 00:23:27the car you're going to want wonder what
- 00:23:28am I supposed to do now I've wasted
- 00:23:30years of my life here direction is a man
- 00:23:33who knows what he wants out of life
- 00:23:35where he wants to be even if he's not
- 00:23:37there right now and how he wants to get
- 00:23:39there and then the fourth part of that
- 00:23:42is a man who actually takes action on
- 00:23:44those things that he wants out of life
- 00:23:47okay and that can be anything as long as
- 00:23:50he has a clear path of where he wants to
- 00:23:52be and it doesn't have to be oh I want
- 00:23:54to be a billionaire I want to be a
- 00:23:56millionaire I want to uh solve world
- 00:23:58world hunger I want to cure cancer it
- 00:23:59doesn't have to be that as long as he
- 00:24:01has a clear path or direction of where
- 00:24:04he wants to go and he has some sort of
- 00:24:07idea or semblance of how he's going to
- 00:24:09get there and he actually puts that plan
- 00:24:10into action that's a man with Direction
- 00:24:13number six very important here when you
- 00:24:15date guys one of the first things you
- 00:24:17need to take notice of is his habits
- 00:24:20because habits are a snapshot of where
- 00:24:23he will be in the future habits have a
- 00:24:25direct correlation to success or or lack
- 00:24:29of success in his future and success
- 00:24:31doesn't just have to mean monetary
- 00:24:33success success can just mean having a
- 00:24:35rich and Abundant Life so I want to give
- 00:24:37you a little bit of an analogy uh so
- 00:24:39that you can better understand this say
- 00:24:41this is his room here let's say one day
- 00:24:43he decides to leave one dirty dish there
- 00:24:47let's say he slurps up some spaghetti
- 00:24:49some macaroni and cheese I don't know
- 00:24:50some craft dinner he makes some sort of
- 00:24:52concoction and he eats it halfway
- 00:24:55through and he leaves the rest of the
- 00:24:57plate there while he plays video games
- 00:24:59okay now leaving one plate in his room
- 00:25:02is not necessarily going to be the
- 00:25:04difference between life and death then
- 00:25:06on day two instead of washing that plate
- 00:25:09or taking it to the sink he leaves it
- 00:25:11there and then he eats something
- 00:25:13else and then he leaves another dirty
- 00:25:15plate on day number three once again he
- 00:25:19slurps his spaghetti and he leaves his
- 00:25:22dirty plate while he eats or while he uh
- 00:25:24plays video games and this goes on for
- 00:25:27multiple
- 00:25:29multiple multiple days and all these
- 00:25:33plates continue to sit there and sit
- 00:25:36there and sit there for weeks until they
- 00:25:41all start sprouting mold so now you got
- 00:25:44maggots over here right you got maggots
- 00:25:47all over the place you got flies all
- 00:25:49over the place you got uh you know you
- 00:25:51start having rats you start having mice
- 00:25:54and this whole room turns into a pigy
- 00:25:57that you know the air isn't even
- 00:25:59breathable anymore because of how
- 00:26:01disgusting it is someone said roaches
- 00:26:03yeah we can add the roaches here okay it
- 00:26:04only started with one plate but the
- 00:26:07habit of leaving the plates in the room
- 00:26:10and never washing them over and over and
- 00:26:13over again is what accumulated over time
- 00:26:16to this whole room being basically
- 00:26:19unlivable are you following what I'm
- 00:26:21saying it doesn't become unlivable in
- 00:26:24one night it becomes unlivable when the
- 00:26:27habits pile up over the course of time
- 00:26:30so the same thing with the men that
- 00:26:31you're dating you
- 00:26:34need to take notice of their habits
- 00:26:37whether good or bad because those habits
- 00:26:39will directly shape your future and the
- 00:26:43future of your relationship with him if
- 00:26:45that man has bad habits your future and
- 00:26:48your relationship will be shaped
- 00:26:50directly by those things so let me give
- 00:26:52you an example of what we would describe
- 00:26:55as a bad habit let's say for the sake of
- 00:26:57example your your man has a really bad
- 00:26:59habit of uh you know not communicating
- 00:27:02to you when he's not going to show up
- 00:27:04somewhere okay and let's just say he
- 00:27:07really has a horrible habit of flopping
- 00:27:08on you he'll promise you that you'll go
- 00:27:10out one day and then all of a sudden you
- 00:27:12know he just never says anything to you
- 00:27:14doesn't speak to you and he disappears
- 00:27:16for that whole day and you don't know
- 00:27:18what's going on until you know the next
- 00:27:20day now over the course of time you
- 00:27:21might think well you know standing me up
- 00:27:23on one date is not that big of a deal
- 00:27:26but as you're building and building this
- 00:27:28relationship with this man what you're
- 00:27:30actually seeing is the habit of not
- 00:27:33being uh not being responsible and the
- 00:27:36fact that you can't count on him to do
- 00:27:38what he says he was going to do so you
- 00:27:40want to know how that habit of not being
- 00:27:42able to be someone you can count on
- 00:27:44manifest in the future of your
- 00:27:46relationship now in the future when you
- 00:27:48guys are married he then says to you oh
- 00:27:51you have this really really important
- 00:27:54event that's going on today yeah I'll
- 00:27:56make sure that I'll finish work on time
- 00:27:59or early I'll come back and I'll drive
- 00:28:01you there cuz I know we only have one
- 00:28:03car and I know this is a really
- 00:28:04important event for you to go to for the
- 00:28:06future of your job right cuz your boss's
- 00:28:08going to be there and everyone's going
- 00:28:09to be there you're like cool perfect you
- 00:28:11can finish work early you can get here
- 00:28:12drive me there and I'll be all good and
- 00:28:14then in the time that you rely on him
- 00:28:16when you need him the most you can't
- 00:28:18count on him because he forgets and
- 00:28:20fumbles and stumbles and is like oh I
- 00:28:22had a really busy day at work and then
- 00:28:24he just never shows up to pick you up
- 00:28:25there and you don't get this job because
- 00:28:28because you couldn't show up there on
- 00:28:29time because you were counting on him to
- 00:28:32drive you there and he was still at work
- 00:28:34and so it sounds small in theory but
- 00:28:36when those habits build up over time
- 00:28:39they manifest themselves in different
- 00:28:41ways in your relationship Point number
- 00:28:42seven here sustainability versus
- 00:28:45intensity you will hurt yourself and the
- 00:28:50happiness of your future relationships
- 00:28:53if you focus more on intensity then you
- 00:28:56do sustainability there is one that
- 00:28:59you're are more likely to lean towards
- 00:29:01because of how it makes you feel
- 00:29:04unfortunately sometimes you have to
- 00:29:07understand that what your what your body
- 00:29:09and your emotions are going to try to
- 00:29:11get you to do actually doesn't serve you
- 00:29:13it's a very strange thing that happens
- 00:29:15but it happens to all of us see
- 00:29:18intensity is very
- 00:29:21intoxicating it feels like being drunk
- 00:29:24when someone can be so intense and so
- 00:29:26passionate with you
- 00:29:28when you first meet them you feel like
- 00:29:30you're in a fairy tale you feel like
- 00:29:32you're being whisked away you feel like
- 00:29:34you're in a dream and it feels good to
- 00:29:36all of us to be swept up like you're in
- 00:29:39a music video or you're in a movie the
- 00:29:42problem is though in real relationships
- 00:29:46what you're going to realize is no one
- 00:29:49no one is capable of
- 00:29:51sustaining such a high level of music
- 00:29:55video or movie or fantasy or what pad
- 00:29:58level of intensity with you it is quite
- 00:30:02literally impossible for someone to be
- 00:30:05that emotionally focused on you
- 00:30:09247 for that person or that relationship
- 00:30:12to even exist now that's not a bad thing
- 00:30:16and I don't want you to think that you
- 00:30:17should stop believing in love or that
- 00:30:19love is not real or that you can't feel
- 00:30:21emotions intensely but what I want you
- 00:30:23to understand is when you're focusing
- 00:30:25more on intensity you'll always get
- 00:30:28tricked because you're going to be
- 00:30:29focused on how you feel on a minute by
- 00:30:32minute basis because that intoxicating
- 00:30:35feeling is very fleeting right like I
- 00:30:38said it can't be sustained so when
- 00:30:40you're in that mode when you're looking
- 00:30:42for that you only want to think about
- 00:30:46your short-term happiness to feel good
- 00:30:48in that moment like you're in that
- 00:30:50fantasy but the problem is when you're
- 00:30:52no longer in that fancy because it's
- 00:30:54impossible to sustain that level of
- 00:30:56intensity you then spend the rest of
- 00:30:58your time searching for that same
- 00:31:01intoxicating feeling and then you put
- 00:31:04yourself in this vicious cycle where
- 00:31:07because the intoxicating feeling can't
- 00:31:09last you spend a lot of time not having
- 00:31:12this feeling and then instead of
- 00:31:15actually focusing on what you should be
- 00:31:16focusing on which is sustainability you
- 00:31:18spend all of that time desperately
- 00:31:20focused on recreating that intoxicating
- 00:31:24level of intensity you will go in a
- 00:31:27hamster wheel chasing around your uh
- 00:31:31that same high sustainability is what
- 00:31:34actually has to do with your future
- 00:31:35happiness and you want future in
- 00:31:37long-term happiness you don't want to be
- 00:31:40happy for just one day do you I'm asking
- 00:31:43you do you want to be happy for one day
- 00:31:46of the year or do you want to be happy
- 00:31:48for 365 days of the year because
- 00:31:51sustainability is what actually you you
- 00:31:54should be looking for if you want to
- 00:31:56feel safe in your relationship ship so
- 00:31:58why do I say all of these things to be
- 00:32:00looking out for when you're dating men
- 00:32:02cuz when you're thinking about
- 00:32:03sustainability and you're analyzing the
- 00:32:05information being given to you on your
- 00:32:08dates you'll be analyzing it from the
- 00:32:10perspective of how does what is going on
- 00:32:12right now either serve or do a
- 00:32:16disservice to the future of my
- 00:32:18relationship meaning if I were to
- 00:32:21continue to see this same action right
- 00:32:23for the next couple of years or the next
- 00:32:26couple of decades would I be happy or
- 00:32:29unhappy and if I would be unhappy right
- 00:32:32with the if I'm unhappy with the things
- 00:32:34that are going on right now in the F in
- 00:32:36Future's time will this thing be even
- 00:32:39worse what is the outlook on this
- 00:32:41situation based on how it's going right
- 00:32:43now these are the things I know it's not
- 00:32:46fun to think about I know it's not like
- 00:32:48a movie it's not like a fantasy it's not
- 00:32:50like a whatpad story but these are the
- 00:32:52things that are the most important
- 00:32:53because when you start dating looking
- 00:32:55for sustainability you start making
- 00:32:58decisions for future you and then you
- 00:33:00want to know who ends up being the
- 00:33:02happiest future you when you make uh
- 00:33:05decisions for intensity you're making
- 00:33:07decisions for the shortterm you but you
- 00:33:09want to know who ends up being the most
- 00:33:11unhappy and the most miserable future
- 00:33:14you because future you looks back on the
- 00:33:16decisions that uh you know short-term
- 00:33:18you made for intensity purposes and says
- 00:33:21damn I really wish I didn't make that
- 00:33:23decision or choose that guy
- menn
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