How I Overcame My Fear of Public Speaking | Dr. Justin Moseley | TEDxWilmington

00:11:03
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aImrjNPrh30

Summary

TLDRسۆزگە ئېلىنغان بۇ نونىڭ ئۇچۇرلاردا، ئاممىدىك قىلغانچىلىققا بولسام ياكى كۆپچىلىكنىڭ ئالدىغا نۇتۇق قىلىدىغانچىلىققا ئۇچۇرۇشقا بولسام قورقۇپ كېتىش ۋە ھەلەك بولۇش قەيسەر تېما بار. ئاپتار ئۆزىنىڭ مىسالىدىن قۇرۇلغان تارىخلىرى بىلەن قانداق قورقۇنچ ۋە كەچۈرگەن قىينچىلىقلارنى يەڭگىلىگىنىنى كۆرسەتكەن، ئاخىرىدا بۇنداق كەينەكنى يەڭگىلىگىنىڭ يوللىرىن مۇپھۈرۈشلەپ ئامال كۈرگەن. ئۇنىڭ ئۇقتۇرغان مەسلىھەتلىرى مەن سەل بەزى بىردىن زېرىككە مثل سۆزلەپ بىلىك بەردى.

Takeaways

  • 😨 قورقۇقنى ھېس قىلىش - ئاممىنىڭ ئالدىدا سۆزلەشكە بولغان قورقۇنچ قونۇپ قېلىپ قالغان.
  • 💡 ئۇچۇرنىڭ مۇھىم بولۇشى - ھەر بىر ئادەمنىڭ ئۆزىگە خاس ئۇچۇرى بولۇشى ۋە بىرەڭ شەي بىلەن بەھرىلەندۈرۈش ئىمكانىيىتى.
  • 👨‍🏫 تەنزىملىگىلى بولغان تەۋسىيە - زادى قانداق بىرەر مۇھىم سوئال ۋە تەۋسىيەنى تەپسىلىيلەپ كېھەر.
  • 🧘‍♂ خامار ياساي كەچۈرۈش - قورقۇنچنى ھېس قىلغان ۋاقىتتا قانچە تەمىنى مەككەگە تەڭ تەقدىر قىلىش.
  • 🏆 تۇرمۇش قىزمەت سۈپەتى - سۆزگە ئېلىنغان كەچۈرۈش مۇھىم شەي، قىلغان سۆز بولغانچۇق.
  • 🚀 ھېقەشتە بىرەڭ بوشلۇق - بۇرنىۋان ئورۇندىن ئىكدە بىردە يولغا قويۇش، بىرتە ئىماق بىلەن ھەسسى قىلۇش.
  • 🌍 تۇرمۇش ھەقىقەتلەر ۋەقە - كۈندە ئەھمىيتى ۋەقەتلەرگە قايدىن يۇمشاق كەلگەن.
  • 🎯 تۈر ھۇزۇر وچۇر - ۋاقتىنى يۇقىرى يازماستىن ئۈرچۈك بىلەن مۇشدۇپ كەينەك بولغان.
  • 📝 ھەيجهالتىن ئۆتكۈرۈكلەش - ھەر بىر ئىتماك بىلەن پاراقلات قىممەت ئېتىش.
  • 😁 ھەيەجانغا ئايلانغان قورقۇنچ - قورقۇنچىنى ھېقەشتىن ئايلاندۇرۇش.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    كۆپىنچە ئادەملەرگە ئاممىۋى ئاچىق سۆزلىمەكچى بولغاندا قورқунۇش ۋە جاپاكەشلىك ھېس قىلىش قىلىش پەصلەر بار، مۇنداق بولغانلار كۆپىنچە تەتقىقات ئالدىنقىقىندە كۆرۈلگەن سۆزلەرگە تەسىر قىلىدۇ. دەلوكنىڭ ئورۇش ،جاپاكەشلىكى يەسلىدەن باشلاندى ، بۇ ئادەمگە ئاممىۋى ئاچىق سۆزلىشىشتىن ھېكايەنەسىدە كۆرۈشكى لايىق بولمايدۇ دەپ ئاڭلىتىپ بەرگەنگە ئوخشاش. ئەمما ئۇ ئاڭلىتىقان مەيلى ئوقۇغۇچىلار بومسون كالس چې چې چېچەرلى بۇلەرنىڭ مەسئىقلەنگەن چىق قارچا بىلەن دوگىسەن، قوشا چوقيا ھەممە بوشلۇقتىن تېپىلاشقا چىلى مارايىلغانلارنىڭ تاتۇغۇلۇقىنى تونۇپ قالىشقا تەۋەككۇل قىلغان.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:11:03

    ئۇ بىر بەلگىگە يەتكەن بولسا ئۇنىڭ ئازادلىق سەكرىگۈچى كۈننى تەۋەككۇل بىلەن جومىرغا سەكرىگۈچى بولۇپ، ئۆزىگە ياتقان جايغا خەتەر يولى بىلەن قىلغان ھەم سەكرىگۈچى بولۇشقا ئەھمىيەتكە قارايدۇ خەۋپ-خەتەر تەييارلىق سىگنالى ، ئۇزور خىزمەت نۇقتىسىدا تۇردى، تارتماچىلىنىغا ئوخشاپ دەرمانغا ئىگە بولدۇ. ئۇ ئۇنى ئىنچىكىكە بدران دە بىلەن تەدبىرلەرنىڭ قۇللۇقىدا ئۆزى نەقشى ئارقىلىق بايلانماي تۇرۋېلارنىڭ ئىنىڭ ناخۇس قوشۇنلىرىنى تەكلىدى. ئەمەس بەزىدە داۋاملىق يۈرەلەۋاتقان ئادەم ئىچكە فرەڭتى تاتاغاندەك باردەم."

Mind Map

Mind Map

Frequently Asked Question

  • ئادەمنى نىمە سۆزلىگەندە قورقۇتۇش بىلەن تەمىنلەيدۇ؟

    ھەرقايسى ئادەمنىڭ ئۆزىگە خاس ئۇچۇر باردۇر ۋە بۇ ئۇچۇرمۇھىم.

  • قورقۇنچ ۋە ھەيەجان ئىچىدىكى پەھەسلەرنى قانداق ئايرىمىز؟

    قورقۇنچ دۇشمىنچىلىك ياكى خەۋپ ئۈگەن كۆرۈش سەۋەبلىك تۇغۇلغان بولسا، ھەيەجان ۋە قىزغىنلىق بوزسۇز كۈتۈنۈش بىلەن باغلانغان.

  • خىزمەتنىڭ مۇھىم بولۇشى قانداق قورقۇنچنى يوق قىلىدۇ؟

    كىشىنى خىزمەت قىلماقچا بولغان كۈچلەرتى بۇ خىزمەتنىڭ مۇھىملىقىنى ئاڭلاپ قالغاندا قورقۇنچ يوققا چىقىدۇ.

  • ئەمدى نىتقىم يوق تەلەمئىدە مىسال كەلتىرىپ بەرسەڭ؟

    خەلق ئالدىدا سۆزلىمەيتەمدىن ئەمەس، مۇھىم بولغان ئىشلار سېنى بەھرىلىق عسقاق.

  • نىمىلار كىرىشتەن ئۈگىلىڭ، نىمە ئۈچۈن بابا بىر مەركەزى گۇل بولدى؟

    موداچى موھىم بولۇشتىكى شەنئەتكە شىپتا بولغان مەزكۇر بىر ئىناپ كۈندۈن قويۇپ بىلەن بۇ ئۈنۈمگە قول يەتكۈزدى.

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  • 00:00:14
    have you ever been nervous or felt fear
  • 00:00:17
    when you've had to speak in
  • 00:00:19
    public and maybe you've been on a stage
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    in front of a room full of people or
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    maybe you had a share a presentation in
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    front of your
  • 00:00:26
    co-workers or maybe you've been in a
  • 00:00:29
    room full of Strang and they made you
  • 00:00:31
    stand up and say who you are where
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    you're from and what you do now at some
  • 00:00:35
    point most people have felt what it
  • 00:00:37
    feels like to be afraid to speak in
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    public for me I grew up with a
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    tremendous fear of public speaking and
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    my earliest memory of having a fear to
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    speak happened in the second
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    grade our teacher was going around the
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    room and calling on students to read
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    anybody been there I was thinking please
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    don't call on me please don't call on me
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    please don't call on me and she called
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    someone else I can
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    relax but as they would get to the end
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    of what they were reading that anxiety
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    would start to build again please don't
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    call on me please don't call on me and
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    then it happened she called my
  • 00:01:16
    name and this wave of anxiety came over
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    my body and as I started to read I
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    started fumbling over my words and the
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    more I tried to get it together the
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    worst it got and I started hearing other
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    kids laughing at me
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    and by the time I finished I was so
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    embarrassed I remember thinking I never
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    want to do that again and it created
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    this memory early on you're not a public
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    speaker this isn't for you you just need
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    to stay
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    quiet and I kept that memory for years
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    to come fast forward to my freshman year
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    in college I had to take a speech class
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    and when I got up to give my speech that
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    familiar wave of anxiety came over my
  • 00:01:57
    body again
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    my heart started beating out of my chest
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    my adrenaline was racing my throat got
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    dry my muscle started to tense up and
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    when I was looking at my note card my
  • 00:02:10
    hand just started
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    shaking and when I tried to speak my
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    voice started
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    trembling and I felt this wave of heat
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    come over my body and I felt like I was
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    about to pass
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    out and somehow I made it through the
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    speech but that further anchored into my
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    mind you're not a speaker you just need
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    to give this up
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    and I continued to believe that for
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    years public speaking is not for
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    me but over the years I kept feeling
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    this feeling
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    inside that I have a message to share
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    that I needed to speak that I can make a
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    bigger
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    impact so that led me to the first key
  • 00:02:50
    that helped me overcome my fear of
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    public speaking was the realization that
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    everyone has a message to
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    share each and every one of you has a
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    message inside of you that the world is
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    waiting to hear and your message
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    matters but maybe you're like me for
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    years I didn't think I had a message to
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    share I wondered what could I share that
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    would help someone
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    else well my friend and Mentor Rory
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    Vaden says it best he says you are
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    perfectly positioned to serve the person
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    you once
  • 00:03:25
    were think about that there's stuff
  • 00:03:28
    you've been through in your life there's
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    lessons you've learned obstacles you've
  • 00:03:32
    overcome and there's lessons you've
  • 00:03:34
    learned along the way that you can take
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    and help other people because right now
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    there's someone going through what you
  • 00:03:40
    went through in the past and you can
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    take those lessons you've learned and
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    help them overcome their
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    challenges so I started going through my
  • 00:03:49
    life and I started thinking well what
  • 00:03:50
    have I been through and what lessons
  • 00:03:52
    have I learned that I could use to help
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    others and I started sharing those and
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    it started helping people and that's why
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    I'm here today Shar sharing this message
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    because I overcame the fear of public
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    speaking years ago and I wanted to share
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    what helped me so other people can share
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    their message with the world so first I
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    realized I had a message to share then I
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    started asking myself well what goes
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    through my head that makes me so nervous
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    before I get up to speak and I would
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    think thoughts like they're going to
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    judge me what if they don't like the way
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    I look or the way I'm dressed or what if
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    they don't like the sound of my voice
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    or what if I mess up and I say the wrong
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    thing all those thoughts that were going
  • 00:04:34
    through my head were about me me me me
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    and I realized I needed to shift that
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    and that led me to the second
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    realization that helped me overcome my
  • 00:04:44
    fear of public speaking was realizing
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    that sharing your message is not about
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    you it's about the people you're there
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    to serve and what's in it for
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    them and my friend Rory Vaden says it
  • 00:04:57
    best he he told me fear disappears when
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    the mission to serve is
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    clear when you have the heart to serve
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    people you take the focus off of you and
  • 00:05:08
    you start focusing on what's the benefit
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    that they're going to get by hearing my
  • 00:05:12
    message and that changed everything for
  • 00:05:14
    me when I took the focus off of me and I
  • 00:05:17
    started focusing on what are they going
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    to get out of my message I realized if
  • 00:05:21
    one person takes what I have to say and
  • 00:05:24
    applies it to their life it was worth
  • 00:05:27
    it so key number one is you have a
  • 00:05:29
    message to share number two your message
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    is not about you it's about the people
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    you're there to
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    serve now the next thing I started to do
  • 00:05:39
    was I started to study well what is fear
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    and fear is our body's natural response
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    to Danger when our body feels danger we
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    go into the fight ORF flight response
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    and we get ready to run or fight for our
  • 00:05:53
    lives so I was studying well what are
  • 00:05:56
    the common causes of fear and the most
  • 00:05:59
    common phys ological responses to fear
  • 00:06:01
    are increased heart rate increased
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    adrenaline shallow breathing muscle
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    tension sweating dry mouth and
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    butterflies in the stomach well I used
  • 00:06:11
    to get most of those when I would get up
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    to speak but I started to ask myself
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    what other times do I feel those
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    feelings well I feel those feelings when
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    I get
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    excited so I looked up what are the most
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    common causes or the the common
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    physiological responses to excitement
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    and they are increased heart rate
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    increased adrenaline shallow breathing
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    muscle tension sweating dry mouth and
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    butterflies in the stomach our bodies go
  • 00:06:39
    through the exact same physiological
  • 00:06:41
    response in response to fear or
  • 00:06:45
    excitement so the way to tell the
  • 00:06:47
    difference if it's fear is associated
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    with a threat or danger or if it's
  • 00:06:53
    excitement it's positive anticipation so
  • 00:06:56
    it all comes down to am I in danger or
  • 00:06:59
    am I looking forward to this and that
  • 00:07:01
    led me to the third key that helped me
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    overcome my fear was that I could
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    transform my fear into
  • 00:07:08
    excitement so when you get up and you
  • 00:07:10
    start to share your message and you feel
  • 00:07:12
    those familiar feelings what I used to
  • 00:07:15
    do was say oh there's that fear again
  • 00:07:18
    remember when you used to speak before
  • 00:07:21
    that didn't go so well they're going to
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    judge you this isn't for you why do you
  • 00:07:24
    think you should do this and that fear
  • 00:07:26
    would overtake me but now what I do I
  • 00:07:29
    shifted that and I created a new story
  • 00:07:32
    so when I feel those feelings I tell
  • 00:07:34
    myself you're excited you're about to go
  • 00:07:37
    out there and transform someone's life
  • 00:07:39
    today and now I really do get excited
  • 00:07:42
    because I know that if I go out and if
  • 00:07:44
    one person takes what I have to say and
  • 00:07:47
    they apply it to their life I can make a
  • 00:07:49
    positive impact so I want you to
  • 00:07:51
    remember when you get up you start to
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    feel those feelings you have the ability
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    to transform that fear into excitement
  • 00:08:00
    so if you're still wondering what why
  • 00:08:03
    should I share my
  • 00:08:05
    message what impact do I have to make
  • 00:08:08
    well I want to take you back to
  • 00:08:10
    2012 uh at the time I was giving the
  • 00:08:13
    biggest talk that I'd given at that
  • 00:08:14
    point and there was an auditorium full
  • 00:08:16
    of 200 people and I was ready I knew my
  • 00:08:20
    message my mission to serve was clear I
  • 00:08:23
    transformed my fear into excitement and
  • 00:08:26
    I went out there and I delivered and at
  • 00:08:28
    the end of The Talk a man came up to me
  • 00:08:31
    and he said Dr Justin I want to thank
  • 00:08:33
    you for sharing that
  • 00:08:34
    message he said I recently underwent
  • 00:08:37
    quadruple bypass surgery he said when I
  • 00:08:40
    was laying in the hospital bed my family
  • 00:08:43
    they brought in my little grandson and
  • 00:08:45
    they put my grandson on my lap he said I
  • 00:08:47
    looked at my grandson and I made a
  • 00:08:50
    promise right then and there that I'm
  • 00:08:52
    going to get my health back because I'm
  • 00:08:54
    going to be around to watch my grandson
  • 00:08:56
    grow up and he said what you just shared
  • 00:08:58
    with me gave gave me exactly what I
  • 00:09:00
    needed to get my health
  • 00:09:02
    back and not only did he go on to get
  • 00:09:04
    his health back at 65 years old he
  • 00:09:07
    completed the Iron Man which is a
  • 00:09:09
    grueling race which is a 2.4 mile swim a
  • 00:09:13
    112 mile bike ride and a complete
  • 00:09:16
    marathon of 26.2 miles not only has he
  • 00:09:20
    done one Iron Man he's gone on to do
  • 00:09:22
    multiple Iron Man
  • 00:09:23
    races and the reason I'm telling you
  • 00:09:25
    this is because I never would have been
  • 00:09:28
    able to make a difference in his life if
  • 00:09:30
    I wouldn't have overcome my fear of
  • 00:09:31
    public speaking if I wouldn't realized I
  • 00:09:34
    had a message to share and if I didn't
  • 00:09:36
    get out and start sharing that message I
  • 00:09:38
    never would have been able to help
  • 00:09:40
    him but just like that man needed to
  • 00:09:43
    hear my message in that moment there is
  • 00:09:46
    someone that's desperately waiting to
  • 00:09:47
    hear your message there's a message
  • 00:09:50
    inside of you that the world needs to
  • 00:09:53
    hear so I want you to ask yourself what
  • 00:09:56
    impact can I make if I overcome my fear
  • 00:10:00
    of public speaking and I start sharing
  • 00:10:01
    my message with the world what lives can
  • 00:10:04
    I touch what Legacy can I leave what
  • 00:10:07
    positive impact can I make in the
  • 00:10:10
    world I want to leave you with one of my
  • 00:10:12
    favorite quotes from BJ Palmer he says
  • 00:10:15
    you never know how far-reaching
  • 00:10:16
    something you may think say or do today
  • 00:10:20
    will affect the lives of millions
  • 00:10:23
    tomorrow if you would have told me years
  • 00:10:25
    ago that one day I was going to be
  • 00:10:27
    standing on the tedex stage in this
  • 00:10:30
    iconic red
  • 00:10:32
    circle sharing my message with the world
  • 00:10:34
    I would have said there's no way but I'm
  • 00:10:37
    here I did it and if I can overcome my
  • 00:10:40
    fear of public speaking so can you so my
  • 00:10:44
    hope is that you'll find your message
  • 00:10:46
    you'll transform your fear into
  • 00:10:48
    excitement and you'll go out and you'll
  • 00:10:50
    start sharing your message with the
  • 00:10:51
    world and you'll make a positive
  • 00:10:54
    impact I'm Dr Justin Mosley thank you
  • 00:10:59
    oh
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