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I'm Dr Orion terban and this is psycha
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Better Living Through psychology and the
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topic of today's short talk is how to
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lead your woman at this point in my life
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based on both my personal and
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professional experience I can state with
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a high degree of conviction that sexual
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relationships between men and women tend
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to thrive when the man is confidently
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and respectfully leading the
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relationship that said in today's day
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and age it can be difficult for many
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women to follow follow this is because
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they believe that if a man leads they
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will need to submit to male Authority
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and while this isn't entirely untrue it
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is invested with a fear that may not be
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wholly justified in many cases it may
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even be in the woman's best interests to
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follow however the men in question need
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to approach this with sufficient
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knowledge and tact in order to allay
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their anxieties in today's episode I'll
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be speaking to Men on how to do just
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that there are two things that men have
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to do in order to lead their women and
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since leadership is so important and
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obvious in a military context I'll be
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making a number of analogies to that
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discipline in this talk to explain these
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core principles first and foremost men
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if you want to lead your woman you have
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to be more competent than she is like
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you have to be the better leader or else
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why the are you in that role and
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this is actually no small thing as there
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are many very competent and capable
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women out there as women continue to
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develop their own competencies the bar
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is constantly being raised for male
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leadership good like a little healthy
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competition never hurt anyone ladies I
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want you at your best because as far as
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you can go I can go further as high as
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you can climb I can go higher and as
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good as you can
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I can be better if you're tough I'll be
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tougher if you're brave I'll be braver
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if you're kind I'll be kinder like I
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will justify my leadership by being at
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the very least just a little bit ahead
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of you and the better you are the more
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powerful the go for my own
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self-development which is wonderful
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really like I wouldn't be the man I am
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today without your often ruthless
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discrimination and this in my opinion is
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the only legitimate basis of any
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leadership Merit so the best way to get
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a woman to accept your leadership men is
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to become men worth
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following because in the absence of that
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how do those without Merit attempt to
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secure obedience by reminding others of
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their place of authority in the military
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this is called pulling rank which is
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when you remind someone beneath you in
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the chain of command that you're their
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Superior officer and they have a duty to
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obey you like no Commander actually
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wants to have to do that because if he
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has to resort to that tactic it means
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that he has lost the hearts and minds of
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his soldiers who no longer see him as a
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leader and follow him out of loyalty why
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would you need to remind your
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subordinates that you're their Superior
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like why would they have
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forgotten what's more pulling rank
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generally just increases resentment in
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your
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subordinates now the equivalent to
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pulling rank in sexual relationships is
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insisting that women should follow you
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just because you're a man this is
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arguing that women have some kind of
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moral obligation to obbey you because
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you have a dick my dudes they do not
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have such a moral obligation like that
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only works in some very specific
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religious traditions and both parties
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need to be consenting participants in
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that tradition for that to work it also
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begs the question why would you need to
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remind your woman that you're the man
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like why would she have
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forgotten insisting that women should
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obey you just because you're a man is
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kind of like I don't know a medical
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doctor insisting that everyone should
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uncritically follow his advice because
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he's an authority like that I'm not
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an idiot give me a reason to obey you
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show me that your leadership is
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necessary or prudent or wise and I will
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follow
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enthusiastically if the only argument
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you can give is your ascribed position
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then it's probably best that you remain
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quiet for the time being work on
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capturing hearts and minds and you will
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never have to remind people of whatever
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Authority has been ascribed to you
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because at that point your Authority has
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actually become very tenuous so that's
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the first
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thing if you appreciate the insights on
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this channel I would highly encourage
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you to get your hands on a copy of my
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book the value of others over the course
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of 432 pages I delve deep into my
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economic model of relationships and
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explain the behavior of both men and
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women in the game of mating and dating I
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also provide a lot of actionable advice
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on how to get and keep more of what you
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want in the sexual Marketplace once you
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read the value of others you'll never
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look at relationships the same way again
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now available in ebook audiobook and
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paperback formats the links are in the
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description the second thing that's
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important for men to appreciate with
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respect to leading their women is the
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necessity of understanding Their
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audience in a military context this
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means never giving an order that either
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cannot or will not be obeyed follow that
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rule and you will never have a problem
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with obedience
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ever now there's obviously two parts to
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that so let's break it down the first
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part is to never give an order that
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can't be followed this is really
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important officers need to understand
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the skill sets the talents and the
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liabilities of those under their command
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why tell the Gunner to patch up the
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wounded or order the medic to pick up
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the machine gun like in the absence of
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dire necessity that's a very stupid idea
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the person you are commanding literally
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might not be able to do the thing you
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are commanding them to do and becoming
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more forceful in your commands isn't
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going to change that with respect to
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sexual relationships the Trap here is to
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think that your woman should be able to
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do this like what's your proof of that
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on some level when leading a woman you
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have to act like a good coach a good
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coach deeply understands the skill level
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of those he coaches and he encourages
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them to go just a little bit further
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than what they've shown themselves to be
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capable of in the past the total scope
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of what can be achieved is not bounded
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by what has already been accomplished it
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also stretches a little bit past that
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and this is why people benefit from good
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coaches they help them grow and succeed
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at higher levels and when a coach helps
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bring out the best in us we are very
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grateful for that coach's presence in
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our lives we follow them less because
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they're the the coach and more because
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following them has proven to be
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beneficial to us so a good order must be
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within the realm of possibility given an
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accurate understanding of the abilities
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of the person in
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question and the second part of this
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piece of advice is to never give an
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order that won't be followed and this
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really has to do with understanding the
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current circumstances you're passing
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through like a good coach knows when to
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push his athletes it's not really for
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the athletes to decide it's for the
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coach to decide and the coach also knows
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when to give his athletes deep rest
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after that kind of activity a bad leader
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is a slave driver who just whips and
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whips and whips to ensure that his
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commands are followed a good leader
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knows when to give rests and rewards and
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praise the leader who doesn't is a
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tyrant and a tyrant will grow to be
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hated if possible you never want to get
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into a power struggle with your woman
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this is because you don't have any real
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recourse like in the military at the end
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of the day you have the capacity to
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execute a punishment on insubordinate
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who decide they will not follow an order
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and have become disobedient however in a
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voluntary consensual at will romantic
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relationship you can't really do that in
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fact you can really only do that in
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romantic relationships through emotional
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manipulation which people do all the
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time but which I think lacks in
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integrity and ultimately degrades the
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quality of the
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relationship in my opinion it's better
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not to ask a woman for anything she's
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not willing to do and if you think Orion
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well why the would I be in a
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relationship if she's not willing to do
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the thing that I want her to do and I
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would answer yeah why the would you
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be in that relationship my dude go out
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and find someone who wants to do the
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thing you want them to do like that's
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the secret as I say in my book
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90% of a successful relationship is
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selection find the woman who
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enthusiastically wants to do what you
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want her to do trust me she's out there
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though you may have to improve your
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value proposition to find her and you
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may be able to find her in today's day
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and age though you will still need to
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sift through a lot of chaff to discover
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her and there it is gentlemen to lead
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your woman you need to be more competent
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than she is and you need to learn how to
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give orders that neither cannot nor will
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not be
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disobeyed good luck out there soldiers
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what do you think does this fit with
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your own experience let me know in the
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comments below and please send this
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episode to someone who you think might
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benefit from its message as it's Word of
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Mouth referrals like this that really
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help to make the channel grow and anyone
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looking to join my free Weekly
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Newsletter or book a paid consultation
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can do so on my website links are below
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as always I appreciate your support and
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thank you for listening
