What is the intent behind setting proper boundaries?

The intent is self-respect and healthy communication to protect your emotional, mental, or physical well-being, while maintaining respect for others.

How does being rude or ostracizing someone differ from setting boundaries?

Being rude or ostracizing is punitive, dismissive, or careless and involves pushing others away, unlike setting boundaries which involves respectful communication.

What is a proper communication style when setting boundaries?

Proper communication involves clear, kind, and direct communication, such as saying you can't commit to an event but hope it goes well.

How can rude behavior or ostracizing affect someone's feelings?

It can create feelings of exclusion, rejection, or disrespect by disregarding others' perspectives.

What impact does setting proper boundaries have on relationships?

It strengthens relationships by fostering mutual respect and understanding, making others feel valued.

What are some negative impacts of being rude or ostracizing?

It damages relationships, creating resentment, misunderstanding, or lasting conflict.

Why is maintaining proper boundaries important?

Proper boundaries help balance self-care and relationships, ensuring clear and respectful communication.

How should one approach setting proper boundaries?

Approach should be assertive and non-confrontational, expressing needs calmly while being open to dialogue.

What examples are given for setting boundaries or being rude?

Setting a boundary involves clear communication like prioritizing family, whereas being rude involves ignoring texts or cutting people off.

What does the video suggest if someone is experiencing ostracizing behavior?

The video suggests speaking up, possibly talking to a higher authority, and trying to make amends if possible.

What are True Boundaries vs Clique behavior masked as "Boundaries" ?

00:05:51

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDhVsssU7_w

Summary

TLDRThe video highlights the critical differences between setting proper boundaries and engaging in rude or ostracizing behavior. It emphasizes that setting boundaries involves self-respect and healthy communication, protecting one's well-being while respecting others. Proper boundary setting includes clear, kind communication and respects others' feelings, strengthening relationships by fostering mutual respect. Conversely, being rude or ostracizing is characterized by punitive and dismissive behavior that pushes others away without regard to their feelings. This type of behavior is aggressive or ignores communication, triggers exclusion and disrespect, and damages relationships. The video advocates for self-advocacy and whistleblowing if experiencing such negative behaviors and underscores the importance of proper boundaries to balance self-care with effective communication in relationships.

Takeaways

🔑 Proper boundaries are rooted in self-respect and healthy communication.
🤝 Boundaries should strengthen relationships through mutual respect.
🚫 Rude behavior pushes others away punitively, damaging connections.
🔄 Clear and kind communication is key in setting boundaries.
🗣️ Assertive, non-confrontational approaches maintain healthy limits.
📱 Ignoring or dismissing others is not a proper boundary setting.
💬 Approach your needs calmly and be open to dialogue.
👥 Respect others' feelings and perspectives in healthy interactions.
🔍 Being a whistleblower can help address ostracizing behavior.
🏆 Balance self-care with maintaining relationship integrity.

Timeline

00:00:00 - 00:05:51
The speaker discusses the importance of setting proper boundaries as opposed to being rude or ostracizing others. They highlight the differences in intent, communication style, respect for others, approach, and impact on relationships. Proper boundaries are about self-respect and healthy communication, acknowledging others' feelings and maintaining healthy limits, whereas being rude or ostracizing is often punitive, dismissive, and damaging to relationships. The speaker urges individuals to advocate for themselves and communicate assertively to maintain integrity without alienating others.

Mind Map

Video Q&A

What is the intent behind setting proper boundaries?
The intent is self-respect and healthy communication to protect your emotional, mental, or physical well-being, while maintaining respect for others.
How does being rude or ostracizing someone differ from setting boundaries?
Being rude or ostracizing is punitive, dismissive, or careless and involves pushing others away, unlike setting boundaries which involves respectful communication.
What is a proper communication style when setting boundaries?
Proper communication involves clear, kind, and direct communication, such as saying you can't commit to an event but hope it goes well.
How can rude behavior or ostracizing affect someone's feelings?
It can create feelings of exclusion, rejection, or disrespect by disregarding others' perspectives.
What impact does setting proper boundaries have on relationships?
It strengthens relationships by fostering mutual respect and understanding, making others feel valued.
What are some negative impacts of being rude or ostracizing?
It damages relationships, creating resentment, misunderstanding, or lasting conflict.
Why is maintaining proper boundaries important?
Proper boundaries help balance self-care and relationships, ensuring clear and respectful communication.
How should one approach setting proper boundaries?
Approach should be assertive and non-confrontational, expressing needs calmly while being open to dialogue.
What examples are given for setting boundaries or being rude?
Setting a boundary involves clear communication like prioritizing family, whereas being rude involves ignoring texts or cutting people off.
What does the video suggest if someone is experiencing ostracizing behavior?
The video suggests speaking up, possibly talking to a higher authority, and trying to make amends if possible.

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Subtitles

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00:00:00
[Music]
00:00:10
CL all right we're GNA talk about
00:00:14
setting proper boundaries and being rude
00:00:17
or ostracizing
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people it differs significantly in
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intent approach and outcomes all right
00:00:26
so here's an ex explanation of the key
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differences
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so the difference between flat out being
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mean and rude uh ostracizing someone
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from a group because you
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don't uh believe what they believe or
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because the person annoys you
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um that is not boundary
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setting there so many people have done
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that banned someone from a group uh and
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then place the label on them because
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they were too loud or they did this they
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did that I mean it's one thing if
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someone's like literally harassing
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someone and swearing and cursing you
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know one of those things but if person's
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just asking questions and person doesn't
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like the questions or misinterprets the
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questions uh there's no reason to banish
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the person from your
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group this is so important to me because
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I don't want it to happen to anyone else
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so I'm just going to be an advocate
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hopefully this will help someone out
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there and make sure you speak up for
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yourself if you're going through
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something like this it's okay to be a
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whistleblower you know you got to talk
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to someone about it maybe a higher
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authority in the leadership group or
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whatever but and then hopefully you can
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make amends but if the person's not
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willing to make amends then you just got
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to let it go all right so here's the
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difference one
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intent now for
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intent proper boundaries the intent is
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self respect and healthy
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communication you set limits to protect
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your emotional mental or physical
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well-being while maintaining respect for
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others rude Behavior slash ostracizing
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the intent is to is
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punitive dismissive or careless it may
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involve pushing others away with regard
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of their feelings or relational D
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Dynamics you know without thinking about
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how this might affect their life or
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their their own reputation or social
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situations number two communication
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style proper
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boundaries involves clear kind direct
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communication for example I can't commit
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to this event but I hope it goes well
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for you as opposed to Rude Behavior
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ostracizing
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communication may be aggressive
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sarcastic or non
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non-existent AKA blocking or ignoring
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someone gossiping or snapping at them
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without
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explanation these are all examples of
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rude Behavior ostracizing someone from a
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community and also we can call it it's
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the word they throw around there a lot
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um gaslighting because I'm sure the
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person is gossiping and telling other
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people not to hang out with this person
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because she's crazy or she's this or
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he's that whatever all
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right number three respect for
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others proper boundaries acknowledge
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others feelings while maintaining your
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Healthy limits healthy boundaries show
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that you value both yourself and others
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rude Behavior SL ostracizing disregards
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others perspectives creating feelings of
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exclusion rejection or disrespect
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effect I mean I thought this was common
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sense but there's a lot of people out
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there have no idea number
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four approach here's an approach proper
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boundaries would be assertive and
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non-confrontational calmly express your
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needs while remaining open to dialogue
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rude Behavior SL ostracizing passive
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aggressive or overly dismissive it may
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involve avoidance name calling or
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cutting someone off
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abruptly impact on
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relationships okay much warmer in here
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all right number five impact on
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relationships for example proper
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boundaries look like strengthens the
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relationship by fostering mutual respect
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and understanding others are more likely
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to respect your needs and feel Val
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valued on the other hand rude Behavior
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ostracizing damages relationships often
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creating resentment misunderstanding or
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lasting conflict examples setting a
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boundary I value our friendship but I
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need to priori prioritize my family
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tonight can we
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reschedule being rude SL ostracizing
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ignoring texts or saying I don't have
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time for you anymore why it matters why
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it
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matters proper boundaries help you
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balance self-care and relation ships
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while being rooted or ostracizing Harm's
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connections by prioritizing clear
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respectful
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communication you can maintain Integrity
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without alienating others
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[Music]