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I made quite a few videos about dating
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Dutch man and people were like hey what
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about dating Dutch women can you tell us
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more on this subject can you tell us how
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it works in the Netherlands I gathered a
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lot of stories from Dutch men sharing
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their experience and tips on how to
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approach Dutch women I asked expert
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ladies about what they've heard and of
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course I talk to Dutch women themselves
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so if you're interested in the results
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of my research and what I have to say on
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the topic please continue watching this
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video
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number one equality equality is a
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Cornerstone of Dutch society and it
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reflects in their dating culture Dutch
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women love their independence and often
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prefer to split the bill on a date it's
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not about being romantic it's about
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being equals a few Dutch ladies I talked
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to shared that if a man pays they feel
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like they owe something to him this of
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course varies across personalities and
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regions typically the more North you go
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the more independent than they are
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number two natural look Dutch ladies are
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known for their natural look and a messy
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hair bun they usually don't put a lot of
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effort in their look compared to other
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cultures think about cultures where a
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lady would show on a date wearing high
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heels and prominent makeup in the
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Netherlands typically on a date you
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would see a Dutch man wearing a nice
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shirt with some walks on his hair and a
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Dutch lady wearing casual jeans and a
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very casual t-shirt I'm not judging
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there is no right or wrong I'm just
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sharing my observations number three
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Dutch women are not good at expressing
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themselves before you throw Rotten
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Tomatoes at me hear me out I have an
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amazing community on Instagram where I
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announc that I am going to make this
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video a lot of men shared with me that
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in their opinion Dutch women are not
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good at expressing themselves when it
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comes to deeper topics for example where
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is this relationship going how do you
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feel about me this man got an impression
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that Dutch women are generally not good
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at identifying what they feel and openly
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communicating it people out there with
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some experience share in the comments
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below what you think about it number
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four laidback approach Dutch women don't
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expect you to put on a show they don't
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expect you to invite them to a fancy
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restaurant or make grandio gestures they
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want to get to know you usually over a
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beer or on a picnic in the park go as
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simple as possible number five not so
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direct the Dutch are direct everyone
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knows it but what surprised men that I
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talk to is that in dating Dutch women
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they noticed that Dutch women tend to
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cut off communication without any
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explanation AKA ghosting they said that
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it was surprising for them to encounter
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it in such a direct culture like Dutch I
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think nowadays you can see it everywhere
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in the world unfortunately and I get it
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it's indeed scary and hard to
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communicate openly and honestly
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especially when you're yourself not sure
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where it's going but this too should be
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communicated otherwise it can be hurtful
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and disrespectful towards another person
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leaving them confused number six she is
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into planning this is how the whole
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Dutch culture operates by appointments
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and plans so be prepared that likely she
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has it all planned out for the next few
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month so if you want to impress her or
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yourself become a bit more organized and
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structured I have a planner to offer you
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this is the planner I've created that
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helps you set goals and clear up your
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mind if you feel like structur is what
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you can benefit from consider trying
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this planner and if not it can be a very
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useful unique and special gift for her
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later on number seven low expectations
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my anecdotal research shows that a Dutch
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lady doesn't expect from a man
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gentlemanlike gestures think about
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opening a door in front of her bringing
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her flowers or picking her up this makes
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your job a bit easier but I guess it
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also depends on what you're used to I've
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heard from some men that it's harder for
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them to not open a door than to open a
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door because that's how they grew up
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it's already in their DNA and it's hard
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for them to unlearn it number eight I
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don't date non Dutch o that hurts right
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because it makes us feel like Outsiders
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but at the same time everyone has the
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right to have their preferences based on
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my conversations there are three major
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reasons for it number one what if they
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leave it's a fair concern of course
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Dutch man can also decide to move to
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another country but I guess among
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experts the perceived risk is higher I
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completely get it we of course don't
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want to fall in love and then be left
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brokenhearted because our partner
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decides to move back to their home
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country where we've never been to so we
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can't even see our future there I guess
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like with everything in life there is no
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guarantee whether it's with an expert or
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with a Dutch guy and this concept is
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hard to embrace number two they don't
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speak Dutch some Dutch people are not
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comfortable expressing themselves in
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English so for them it's a deal breaker
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if their date doesn't speak Dutch or
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they might perceive it that you are not
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going to stay here maybe you a tourist
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and if she wants something serious with
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you this might make her feel unsafe
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three is H I don't know exactly how to
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call it it's some sort of
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narrow-mindedness or traditional take on
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things so imagine someone who grew up in
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a small town surrounded only by Dutch
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people they can't even imagine that
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their life might be intertwined with
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someone from a different background now
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how can one approach a that woman again
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based on my research there are two
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things you should consider one is that
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Dutch people take their time I've
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already explained it in my videos
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talking about how to dat Dutch man that
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things take time here in some cultures
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things move very quickly in a few months
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you can already start thinking about
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moving in together or have already moved
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in together here in the Netherlands it's
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not the case I already anticipate if few
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that people say yes but for my partner
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and I I totally understand that there
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are exceptions and I believe you that
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for your partner and you it went quickly
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but generally speaking the Dodge take
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things slowly I have a video where I
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outlined how a dating process goes here
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in the Netherlands I will link it
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somewhere here watch it if you're
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interested having said that it means
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that when you want to approach a Dutch
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woman you need to be patient it might
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not be the best scenario to approach her
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in the bar without having established an
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eye contact a few times or without
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having common friends that can introduce
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you to number two language I can imagine
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that not speaking Dutch creates another
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layer of comp axity you simply cannot
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just casually approach her you can still
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try and use it as a test is she
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open-minded to talk to you in English
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but if the fear of rejection gets
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unbearable you can try one dating apps
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this goes well with point1 that things
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take time here in the Netherlands and
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through texting for a couple of weeks
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you can build trust and make her feel
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safe to want to meet you in person
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number two activities for example my
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boyfriend and I organize events like ca
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ceremonies and Ice baths if you like any
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of these you can meet their people who
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share your interest and you can use it
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as a platform to build connection before
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you go out oneon-one number three common
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friends for example when I used to be
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single I used to hang out with a group
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of friends and one day they invited me
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to a Tango event at Del University where
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I met a lot of interesting Dutch guys in
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the modern world it can be so
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challenging to navigate the dating scene
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we're constantly blaming each other like
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oh you're are so traditional you live in
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the 80s or these modern values are crazy
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they are so inhumane they're going to
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kill us all we're constantly bickering
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and imposing our opinions on each other
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about who should pay on a date who
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spends more time and money on their
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appearance and who should carry this
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heavy grocery bag I think this should
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stop we should realize that there is no
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one size fits all
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it's so individual so on this note the
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most important tip I can give you is
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that we should not change to fit another
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person or societal expectations
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investigate what's important for you who
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you are what you are looking for in a
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connection what you appreciate in the
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woman for some men Independence and
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equality are high up others are looking
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for a more traditional woman there are
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men who want to be a gentleman around
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their woman but still still want her to
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be independent to have her own projects
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and things going for her and you can
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totally have both why not I think life
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is so fluid nowadays that now you are
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the Brad winner but in 10 years maybe
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her career is going to take off and you
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will sense this internal shift that you
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want to step back and chill a little bit
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or maybe not anyway getting Clarity on
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the questions I mentioned before can
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have a huge impact on you navigating the
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dating scene and contribute to you
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having this confidence in your line of
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behavior because it's not inherently
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right or wrong it's about you and what
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works for you
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[Music]
