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[Music]
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hello everyone and welcome to my channel
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if you are new here welcome welcome and
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if you've been here before then welcome
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back it's great to see you again if you
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don't know who I am Google me make sure
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your parents aren't behind you so today
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I want to do a little bit of a story
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time I guess we could call it a story
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time I want to explain to you what it
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was like to be pregnant and in the adult
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industry um as a lot of you know but
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maybe a lot of you also don't know I
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have a child um I won't go into too much
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about my child because I want to
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preserve the privacy of my child um but
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I had a child uh back in
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2017 uh so I've been a mom for about six
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years and I I when I got pregnant I was
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actively working in the adult industry
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I've been working in the industry for
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about let's see I got it in
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2013 the end of 2013 so when I got
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pregnant it was the beginning of 2017 so
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let's just say 24 so I've been in the
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industry for a little over three years
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when I found out that I was pregnant at
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the beginning of
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2017 um I was working as a pretty
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uh I don't want to too my own horn but I
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was a pretty well-known adult
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Entertainer at that point um I was also
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working as a florist um in my little
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town that I was living in so I was sort
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of oh by the way this is a Band-Aid
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anybody in the comments who wants to say
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what's on your thumb I hacked into my
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thumb with a vegetable peeler but I'm
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okay anyway um I was working as a
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florist um so I had sort of a double
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life of being like a normal person my
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boss didn't know what I did as my other
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job and
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um yeah so I was kind of doing both I
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liked having a regular job and learning
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a trade while also being an adult
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Entertainer and so I was having this
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kind of cool double life found out I was
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pregnant um and so it was time to make a
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decision I decided it's I want to have
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this baby and I decided to with the guy
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seeing at the time stop shooting
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mainstream uh stuff at the time uh only
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fans
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had just started or I think it was like
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about to start so I did not I did yeah
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no it was about to start started a few
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months into my pregnancy in 2017 or
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became like I became aware of it and so
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I didn't have any kind of extra income
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other than working at this flower shop I
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just had perform pering mainstream stuff
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and I had the flower shop and so my ex
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my child's dad um at the time was like
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I'll get a regular he said cuz he was in
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the industry as well he said I will get
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a regular job and you can just work at
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the flower shop and and that's it and so
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that was what we decided to do but I
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actually still did perform a few
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mainstream scenes during my pregnancy as
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well as starting to do only fans content
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once only fans
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became a thing when I was about 3 months
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pregnant roughly so right as I was
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starting to visibly look
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pregnant so the first scene I did in the
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industry while pregnant um was actually
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one with the father of my child um I
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hadn't like fully started to show yet I
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was about two months pregnant uh and we
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shot a scene together for a company that
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I really love um that shot me a lot I'm
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going to take off my bracelets cuz I
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realized they're really
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loud um so we shot that scene
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together um it's funny because people
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always asked later on if that was the
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scene where I got pregnant um but I
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would just like to say that I did not
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get pregnant on an adult film set I got
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pregnant in my own bed at home actually
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on this
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mattress so no it was not on set people
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don't get pregnant on set it's a very
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controlled environment
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um I'm actually I will say one of the
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only bigger name adult entertainers even
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still who has ever shot mainstream
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content while pregnant of course you can
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find pregnant scenes out there but
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they're by not well-known performers I
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was a very well-known performer
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awardwinning um and I shot three scenes
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for mainstream companies fully pregnant
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um I'm still like I said one of the only
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people with my level of
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of Fame if you for lack of better term
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who decided to do that um or even put my
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pregnancy out there at all because it's
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very difficult it was very difficult to
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be an adult Entertainer who was openly
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pregnant because you're going to get a
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lot of judgmental comments um so but I
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decided to do it because I felt like I'm
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still me despite a life growing inside
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of me I am still an autonomous
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individual and a lot of people disagreed
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with that a lot of people you know think
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once you become a mom or a parent that
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you should like shut off that side of
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yourself that openly sensual sexual side
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of yourself but I think that that
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is that's BS that doesn't that's not
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fair and and I think it's misogynistic I
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think it's woman hating to had this idea
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that a woman should just become this
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sexless um just pure mother as soon as
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she becomes pregnant or as soon as she
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becomes a mom that's just not true women
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can have and do have entire separate
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identities to their life as mothers and
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you can be an amazing mother and still H
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be an autonomous independent sexual
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individual and I think that's something
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that a lot of people have a hard time
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with
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conceiving that and I think a lot of it
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has to do with the fact that a lot of
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these people look to their own mothers
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and who were maybe not in the happiest
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relationships or maybe not in
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relationships at all and they just saw
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them as that she's just Mom Mom and and
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I mean who wants to think of their
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parents in a sexual way obviously I get
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it but if you're being
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realistic an adult is an adult and they
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like think about someone who has 12 kids
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or something like these really religious
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people that have a bunch of kids what
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are they doing what they' stopped having
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sex no they had a kid and they kept
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having sex and had another kid and then
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they and then they had another kid and
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they kept having sex and kept having
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more kids so it's not any more Pious
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or good in the eyes of God to like stop
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having kids or stop being sexual right
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like you are supposed to make a lot of
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babies or whatever but how would you do
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that by being sexual so my point is is I
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get that people don't want to see their
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parents as sexual beings but adults are
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inherently sexual and they should be
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allowed to be inherently sexual and I
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don't think that that just stops at you
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know doing it secretly privately hiding
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it never letting your kids see that you
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have any part of you that is that like
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of course we want to be appropriate with
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our kids and and um age appropriate you
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don't want to allow your kids to see
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anything that would scar them but at the
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same
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time it's fair to be an adult with an
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adult life and you can still be an
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amazing parent
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um and give your kid a perfectly healthy
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happy appropriate well adjusted life is
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my point I trailed off a little bit
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there but I felt like that was an
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important thing to
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address so back to the story so I shot
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that scene um well actually hold on I
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want to add one more piece to that so a
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lot of people say a lot
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of crazy people say um well what are you
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going to do when your kid asks you what
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you do for a job or what are you going
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to do when your kid is older and
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eventually sees maybe one of your videos
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or something and so I have a few things
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to say to that first of all most people
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unfortunately have walked in on their
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parents doing something maybe a little
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bit sexual that they they're like ah and
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it's it's this horrible thing and you're
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scarred and whatever but really if we
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had a healthy idea of sex and' be like
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whoa sorry didn't mean it's like walking
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in on somebody in the bathroom going to
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the bathroom oh I didn't want to see
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that but I'm not going to be like oh my
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God I can't believe you do that like sex
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is a normal human thing like going to
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the bathroom or anything like that so if
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you accidentally see it it's not that
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all of a sudden you're awakened to the
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idea that your parents do that of course
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they do that of course they are sexual
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beings but maybe you didn't want to see
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it so yeah of course if my kid stumbles
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across my videos that might be a little
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jarring and they're going to have to
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click away really quick or whatever but
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um the internet is highly saturated
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already at this point now in another 15
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years or 10 years or however long before
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they start you know really getting
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around on the internet there's going to
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be so much more content and I'm not
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making mainstream scenes anymore anyway
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even if I was it's just not something
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that that is likely they're going to
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accidentally stumble across so there's
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that aspect of it the other thing too is
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that how many kids at least I wasn't
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able to do this but how many kids are
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able to actively accurately say
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especially at a young age what their
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parents do for a living like unless your
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parent has a really straightforward job
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like you're my mom is a lawyer my mom is
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a teacher most most people don't know
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most kids don't know even know what
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their parents do they're like oh they
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work in an office or something you know
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what I mean like it it wasn't until I
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was like I don't know in my early teens
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maybe even later that I was even a
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really aware of what my parents did
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because a you don't care you're just
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like your parent goes to work you go to
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school you come home we all eat dinner
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and we do normal day-to-day things
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so that that's that's like a non-issue
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to worry about what happens when your
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kid asks you what you do most parents
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who don't work in the adult industry
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give a very simple kind of overview of
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what they do to their kids without
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actually explaining the the depth of
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what they do because there's no point
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your kid's not going to get it it
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doesn't matter matter why would they
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need that information anyway you know so
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what my child knows of what I do is that
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like a lot of parents especially now
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after after
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coid I work from home I work from home I
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work on my computer and I get my work
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done during the day while my kids at
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school and then when they're home for
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the day I am done doing my work and
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that's an amazing thing is that I am
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there every day to pick up my kid from
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school without fail I don't have have to
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send them to an after school program
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like I used to have to go to because my
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parents were still at work uh when I got
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out of school I can immediately go pick
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my child up bring them home and you know
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make their after school snack go through
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their homework with them go
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through you know working on all the
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things that they need to work on and
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play with them and go on a bike ride and
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I can I'm able to do all those things
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because of my job so if anything I I'm
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able to have a more meaning relationship
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with my child that my parents were able
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to have with me and a lot of parents are
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able to have with their kids who have to
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go to Office jobs and do things like
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that so um I don't I think it's a
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non-issue to worry about my kid finding
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my content because it the internet is so
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saturated um even if they do hey guess
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what now you know Mommy has
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sex that's that's it's normal um and
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everyone has sex and some people do it
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on camera and I'm Hope by the time my
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kid is old enough to be aware of it the
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stigma goes down even more because it's
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already so much less of a stigma than it
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used to be 10 20 years ago so I hope in
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another 10 years or however long there
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will be even less of a stigma but it's
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not illegal I pay taxes I am a good
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person I went and did my job I did it
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well and I made good money for my family
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so there's no shame there shouldn't be
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any shame behind being a sexual person
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and making money off of off of sex um um
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and off of performances and so that that
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solves that issue in my mind that people
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have with it and the issue of explaining
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what you do it's very simple I work from
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home I work on my phone I work on my
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computer that's it and when people ask
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me what I do in the real world I say I
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do website management because I do I
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manage my own website that's literally
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what I do um and that's all people want
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to hear most people are like oh cool you
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work on websit it's like that's we live
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in an age now where it's not like oh
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what's your job and there's like so few
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jobs that people do there are so many
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jobs that people do now so it's not an
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issue I guess is my point it's not an
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issue to be a parent who does sex work
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especially if you're doing it safely you
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pay taxes you're doing it legally you're
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doing everything like a normal person a
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private contractor um any kind of artist
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there nothing wrong with it as long as
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you take care of your kids you make sure
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they have an appropriate healthy well
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adjusted life um my kid is wellfed has
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tons of friends has a beautiful clean
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clothes uh has a wonderful life with
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extracurricular activities um my kid is
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so well-rounded intelligent and just
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happy
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and it doesn't I don't hinder my child
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having amazing life in any way by what I
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do if anything it's actually made it
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easier to provide amazing life for my
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child so now that that's out of the way
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we can get back to the timeline so first
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couple months in I shot my first scene
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and after that uh I went back to just
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doing flower shop and um my ex also
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stopped shooting after a few months once
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he got a regular job he worked in a
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factory actually worked for my stepdad
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and he managed a factory for my stepdad
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um which was really cool because kind of
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kept it in the family um and he made
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Regular paychecks had health insurance
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all that so it was really nice um but
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then when I was about s months pregnant
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I got offered to do a girl girl scene
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for a company that I also really love
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that I had shop for a
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lot and I wasn't sure at first but I
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asked my guy at the time my my child's
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dad and he said that you thought it
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would be cool and I was like yeah you
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know what why not so I shot a scene with
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another girl um very very
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pregnant um if I'm being honest if I'm
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being totally honest and everybody who
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knows me has probably seen that scene um
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I I hate how I look like I look back and
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I'm like oh my God I look like a [ __ ]
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like a whale like I and not not a fat
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phobic thing to say or anything like
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that but I was just I was so pregnant
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and I was enormous
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and everybody was like you're so
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beautiful you're glowing and the girl I
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worked with her name's Mona Wales um
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she was amazing she couldn't have been
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gentler Kinder sweeter the whole setup
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was so beautiful um I was treated so
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incredibly well um like I've always been
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treated well uh in the adult industry
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but it but it was a beautiful well shot
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classy thing but I can't watch it
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because oh my God I just like I don't
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want anyone to like have seen what I
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looked like during that time I could
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barely dress myself during the day at
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that point in my pregnancy cuz I was
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just so big and I was very insecure
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about it so but it was very well shot I
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was very well taken care of I felt very
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like loved on that set plus I'd already
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shot for them a bunch of times before I
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got pregnant for for that company so I
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knew everybody and everybody was like oh
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my God you look so pretty and the makeup
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artist even that did my makeup was so
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wonderful and I she's a good friend of
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mine so it was
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nice but I hate how I look so if I could
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take anything back it would just be not
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shooting it only because I don't want
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that version of me on
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camera um but not because I wasn't
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treated well or you know the money
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didn't help during that time and all of
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that cuz it did um okay and then the
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final scene that I shot was with
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actually the father of my child um
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anybody who knows me has probably seen
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that scene as well um I think it was
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actually a two-part so maybe it counts
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as like two scenes since we went two
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days in a row to shoot um same thing
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there that the money from that actually
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it was amazing and it actually paid for
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the entire cost of me giving birth at
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this birth center because I didn't give
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birth at a hospital I gave birth at a
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birth center um and it was an amazingly
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beautiful wonderful birth center and it
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it they don't take insurance there so I
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had to pay for it out of pocket which
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was a lot at the time for me cuz I was
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just working at a flower shop and then
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making a little money on the side from
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only fans so um we ended up being able
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to pay for the birth the entire birth
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center experience with that shoot or
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those two shoots that we did together
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for that company in that two days it was
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expensive so it was really nice um but
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again
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I didn't like how I looked I felt like I
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was huge and of course people still tell
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me and still post and retweet the scene
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and post about it and oh you look so
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beautiful and will you ever get pregnant
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again and shoot more and
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whatever it was a great experience they
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took amazing care of me I I was my
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makeup was beautiful The Outfits they
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put me and were beautiful the scenes
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were very well shot and classy and like
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romantic um
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but no I would never do that again even
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if I did get pregnant again I would
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never shoot a big scene like that again
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pregnant because I just I I don't like
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how I looked I I was huge so and it's
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normal I was pregnant but I just no no
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thank
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you
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so yeah um I'm also probably never going
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to get pregnant again cuz being a parent
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is
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exhausting um and you know being an
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adult Entertainer I have to really work
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anyone who's a parent you have to work
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your whole life around your child your
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life stops being for you and it starts
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being for this other person and that's
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really hard and I don't love it I don't
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love that I have to
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completely not look out completely for
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my own interests which sounds terrible
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and I know that that's the case so I do
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it I I selflessly give my whole life for
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my child but I can't imagine having like
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another one and having to double down on
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that
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like constantly worrying about a child
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over worrying about myself um my child
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is amazing I love my child more than
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anything in the world and I take such
00:20:13
pride in giving my child an amazing life
00:20:17
a
00:20:18
beautiful
00:20:20
wholesome well-rounded life I love doing
00:20:23
that but I could not do I don't want to
00:20:27
do it again I don't want to start the
00:20:28
timeline all over with a brand new baby
00:20:31
and and do that again I'm going to just
00:20:34
do this one thing perfect and that's
00:20:37
going to be that um very much a
00:20:40
oneandone I also had a very difficult
00:20:42
birth I had an all natural birth so no
00:20:45
medicine no
00:20:47
C-section just natural and it was
00:20:51
rough um and yeah so I don't want to go
00:20:55
through that again I'm not going to talk
00:20:57
about my birth story because it's very
00:20:59
personal to me maybe I will one day but
00:21:02
definitely not now um but it was rough
00:21:05
we got through it we're fine I have a
00:21:07
beautiful healthy happy awesome child
00:21:11
but um giving
00:21:13
birth
00:21:14
sucks and I'm scared of medication I'm
00:21:17
scared of getting like
00:21:19
uh epidural a big long needle in my
00:21:22
spine I don't want to do that so um so
00:21:25
if I ever did have another one which I
00:21:26
won't but if I did I definitely would
00:21:28
have to do it all natural again and it
00:21:30
was rough so and it's hard on your body
00:21:33
too you know I show my body for my work
00:21:37
so I gained this is a fun little insight
00:21:40
I gained about 50 lbs when I was
00:21:42
pregnant so losing that and having my
00:21:45
body you know trying to get my body back
00:21:47
into a shape that I feel is visually
00:21:51
appealing for me personally um was was
00:21:54
hard and then it caused other things
00:21:57
like I caused the thyroid issue so I
00:22:00
after I had lost the pregnancy weight I
00:22:02
then lost another like 20 lbs which
00:22:04
looked nice on camera I guess cuz I
00:22:06
weighed like 100 pounds and I was really
00:22:07
skinny but I wasn't healthy um and then
00:22:11
once I healed the thyroid problem my
00:22:12
weight swung back and I gained another
00:22:14
like I gained like 25 PBS and just it's
00:22:19
been having a baby changes your body in
00:22:22
every way and I feel like I already went
00:22:25
through it so and it was hard so I'm not
00:22:28
going to do it again to myself um I
00:22:33
think people think of birth as a really
00:22:35
kind of P thing
00:22:37
because so many women have done it so
00:22:40
many people have done it but um it's not
00:22:46
it's like the hardest thing you could
00:22:48
ever do in your entire life and saying
00:22:50
that will never really get across the
00:22:55
um the weight of it but
00:22:58
that's all I can say is it's I've never
00:23:01
done anything I've never gone through
00:23:02
something so traumatic and it was not it
00:23:07
was not some beautiful wonderful
00:23:08
experience it was very hard on me I was
00:23:09
also very sick through my whole
00:23:11
pregnancy which doesn't mean anything
00:23:12
bad for my baby it runs in my family to
00:23:14
have really hard pregnancies um I was I
00:23:18
was sick like throwing up like every
00:23:21
single day for like eight months like I
00:23:23
would literally hand a bouquet of
00:23:24
flowers to someone at my job have a nice
00:23:27
day ring them up and then throw turn
00:23:29
around to the bathroom and throw up like
00:23:31
every single day so if there's any
00:23:34
chance I could go through that and the
00:23:37
difficult birth and then the yo-yo
00:23:40
effect that it did to my body afterwards
00:23:42
ever again another kid's not worth that
00:23:45
plus they're
00:23:46
expensive it's it's too much so never
00:23:49
again um but that said being an adult
00:23:54
Entertainer with a child being an adult
00:23:56
Entertainer who was pregnant
00:23:59
may seem like an incredibly
00:24:00
controversial crazy thing that people
00:24:03
have a lot of different judgments about
00:24:05
it's a very
00:24:06
um intense topic but I just wanted to
00:24:10
come on here and say that it doesn't
00:24:12
have to be seen that way adult
00:24:14
entertainers are humans we have lives we
00:24:18
have families I remember before I got
00:24:20
into the industry I remember thinking
00:24:23
about adult entertainment very very
00:24:25
differently and honestly not very
00:24:27
positively I would consume the content
00:24:29
but then I would think negatively of the
00:24:31
people that were in it the people that
00:24:32
helped me feel good um so on the other
00:24:37
side now looking back I can understand
00:24:39
why people have negative thoughts
00:24:41
because there's so much stigma around
00:24:44
being an adult Entertainer but at the
00:24:47
end of the day we're people most of us
00:24:51
are good people who love our families
00:24:54
and are good we take good care of our
00:24:56
homes and care of our bodies of our pets
00:25:01
um we we care about causes we're we're
00:25:05
just normal good people we're not like
00:25:07
bad people and and the industry is just
00:25:09
full of a bunch of Regular People some
00:25:10
are not so great but some are also great
00:25:13
if you walk into an office and you scan
00:25:15
the beliefs and the activities and the
00:25:19
lives of all the people in that office
00:25:20
and all their past traumas and
00:25:22
everything it's going to be the same
00:25:23
thing when you go into an adult
00:25:25
entertainment into the adult ENT mment
00:25:28
world and you scan all those people some
00:25:29
people are have had a rough life they've
00:25:31
been through trauma they they are
00:25:35
struggling but it's going to be the same
00:25:37
thing if you look at an office with a
00:25:38
bunch of seemingly normal people there
00:25:40
are people there that have gone through
00:25:41
trauma and had rough lives um and are
00:25:44
struggling um or are doing really really
00:25:47
well that's the same thing too there's
00:25:48
going to be there's a there's a full
00:25:50
spectrum of The Human Experience in
00:25:52
every industry you examine so being an
00:25:57
adult Entertainer does not automatically
00:25:58
mean you had a rough life you're having
00:26:00
a rough life you are struggling you're
00:26:03
there just because you need the money
00:26:05
like we're all doing a job because we
00:26:07
need the money anyone you ask in the
00:26:09
whole world is doing a job because they
00:26:10
need the money um so I just challenge
00:26:13
everyone to look at adult entertainers
00:26:15
in a way that it's the same as any other
00:26:18
job yes it's very different the actual
00:26:22
type of work you're doing but we all get
00:26:24
up we all put our clothes on and and
00:26:28
take them off some of us um but we all
00:26:30
get up we brush our teeth we take a
00:26:32
shower and we drive to work or maybe we
00:26:35
don't even drive to work cuz we work
00:26:36
from home but we we go and we we sit
00:26:39
down to get a job done or stand up or
00:26:41
whatever it is but we all go we wake up
00:26:43
we eat we go and do a job everyone
00:26:47
everyone in this world because because
00:26:49
capitalism because life and just it
00:26:53
would be really healthy to think it
00:26:56
would help the world a lot for people
00:26:57
people to see adult entertainers in that
00:27:00
way instead of in this this
00:27:03
mystified oh what could possibly have
00:27:05
happened in your life to bring you to
00:27:07
this what would you be doing if you
00:27:09
weren't doing that no they're just
00:27:11
normal people it's like the Barista that
00:27:13
gives you your coffee in the morning the
00:27:15
adult Entertainer is the same thing
00:27:18
we're just doing a service we're
00:27:20
providing it we're getting paid to
00:27:22
provide the service and then we pay
00:27:24
taxes on that we go home to our families
00:27:26
we make some dinner and we just we're
00:27:28
just getting through life so I'm here to
00:27:31
help demystify what it means to be an
00:27:34
adult Entertainer in every aspect
00:27:35
including what it means to be a parent
00:27:37
to have been pregnant and um and a
00:27:41
successful adult Entertainer
00:27:44
so I think that's all I want to say if
00:27:48
you have questions on this topic I'm
00:27:50
definitely down to expand I feel like I
00:27:52
covered everything I want to cover but
00:27:55
if you have more questions about this
00:27:56
this specific aspect of being an adult
00:27:59
Entertainer or just any aspect of being
00:28:01
an adult Entertainer I'm definitely
00:28:03
happy to do more videos about this
00:28:05
because I think it's important um so
00:28:07
please leave them down in the comments
00:28:09
let me know what you thought of this
00:28:10
video let me know if you have more
00:28:12
questions and yeah I'm Carla
00:28:17
Kush thanks for being here thanks for
00:28:19
spending this time with me and I'll see
00:28:21
you in the next
00:28:26
video
