00:00:01
well the temptation started for me
00:00:03
in the seventh grade and just to give
00:00:06
you context in case you forget
00:00:08
what a seventh grader looks like this
00:00:10
was me in the seventh grade
00:00:12
uh very proud that i was on the all-star
00:00:14
team but just a little kid
00:00:16
asked to babysit for a neighbor and it
00:00:20
was my first
00:00:21
official babysitting job and i was so
00:00:23
excited to take care of the kids
00:00:25
i was going to be a great babysitter and
00:00:28
was excited beyond measure but had no
00:00:30
idea how excited i would be when i
00:00:33
noticed
00:00:34
that my neighbors had a giant stack
00:00:37
of playboy magazines we're not talking
00:00:41
about like just
00:00:42
12 january february march april but like
00:00:45
two years
00:00:46
of 12 months of playboy magazine sitting
00:00:50
right out on the coffee table in plain
00:00:53
view
00:00:54
and i know you look at me as a man of
00:00:57
god
00:00:58
but i need to tell you that long before
00:01:00
i was a pastor i used to just be a boy
00:01:04
and i remember the feeling
00:01:07
and the rush of sexual excitement
00:01:10
because just a few feet away from me
00:01:11
were pages and pages
00:01:13
of women without shirts or bras if i can
00:01:16
say that
00:01:17
and that was the only time i had ever
00:01:19
had access to it with the exception of
00:01:21
in the fifth grade when my friend found
00:01:22
it
00:01:23
or national geographic which didn't
00:01:24
really count or barbie dolls that i
00:01:26
would occasionally strip down but we
00:01:27
don't want to talk about that because
00:01:28
that's really gross and i'm sorry i even
00:01:30
said that out loud
00:01:30
but on the spot and in that moment
00:01:35
i just changed my babysitting strategy
00:01:37
which says kids you're going to be going
00:01:39
to bed a little earlier tonight
00:01:41
and i spent the next two or three hours
00:01:44
just flipping
00:01:45
page by page through the whole stack and
00:01:47
what i felt
00:01:49
uh was confusing because i'll be honest
00:01:52
i mean there was like this buzz and this
00:01:54
hit and this thrill and kind of waves of
00:01:56
confusing
00:01:57
sexual energy to a little boy followed
00:02:00
by
00:02:01
deep guilt and shame
00:02:04
and remorse and embarrassment i felt
00:02:07
dirty
00:02:08
and just hated that i did that
00:02:12
if you can relate to what i just said
00:02:15
you're not alone even if you're a
00:02:18
christian
00:02:18
you're not alone in fact the studies
00:02:21
today
00:02:22
show that this is a growing problem
00:02:25
by the minute and not just like when i
00:02:28
was growing up i thought it was a man
00:02:30
issue and it is a man issue but
00:02:32
it's also increasingly becoming an issue
00:02:34
for females as well
00:02:36
and not just men and not just women but
00:02:39
christian
00:02:40
men and christian women in fact
00:02:43
one study shows that about 64 percent of
00:02:46
christian men
00:02:47
and about 15 percent of christian women
00:02:50
admit to viewing porn
00:02:52
monthly maybe not daily but at least
00:02:54
once a month
00:02:56
how many of you are between 18 and 30
00:02:59
years of age you could just raise up
00:03:00
your hands
00:03:01
for those of you that are and if you're
00:03:03
a man
00:03:04
the odds of looking go way way up 79
00:03:09
of men between 18 and 30 years of age
00:03:13
admit to viewing porn monthly when i was
00:03:16
a kid
00:03:17
you had to find a stack of magazines the
00:03:20
rules have changed
00:03:21
because now you got porn in your pocket
00:03:25
meaning anywhere anytime all day
00:03:28
long the majority of the world is just a
00:03:31
click or two
00:03:32
away from anything they ever want to see
00:03:35
or everything they should never ever see
00:03:37
and it raises the question is purity
00:03:42
even possible and i want to talk to you
00:03:45
today and tell you
00:03:46
not only is it possible but it is god's
00:03:50
will
00:03:50
and the title for today's message is how
00:03:53
to quit porn would you pray with me
00:03:56
today father we ask that by
00:03:59
the power of your spirit and the truth
00:04:01
of your word you would do
00:04:02
god what only you can do
00:04:06
purify our hearts and our minds
00:04:10
that we could love you and love others
00:04:13
as you love us god purify us we pray in
00:04:17
jesus name
00:04:18
and everybody said amen amen are you
00:04:21
ready for the word today
00:04:23
we're going to start today in the new
00:04:25
testament in the book of
00:04:26
james and i want to show you in james
00:04:29
chapter 1
00:04:30
verses 13 through 15 some interesting
00:04:33
verses james told us this whenever we're
00:04:35
tempted
00:04:36
no one should say god is tempting me in
00:04:38
other words like god didn't put that
00:04:39
stack of playboys in front of me
00:04:41
if you agree say amen do you agree amen
00:04:44
god is not
00:04:44
tempting us because god cannot be
00:04:47
tempted by
00:04:48
evil nor does he tempt anyone
00:04:52
but each person is tempted
00:04:55
when they are dragged away
00:04:58
by their own evil desire
00:05:02
and enticed i was dragged away
00:05:05
by a very evil desire in me and i was
00:05:08
enticed in fact the word in the greek
00:05:11
that's translated as
00:05:12
enticed is a fishing term that means to
00:05:16
lure by using bait
00:05:20
and that's what our spiritual enemy does
00:05:22
our enemy knows where we're weak and
00:05:24
where we're
00:05:24
vulnerable and we'll put some kind of
00:05:26
temptation some kind of
00:05:28
trap some kind of bait in front of us
00:05:30
scripture goes on to say
00:05:32
then after that desire has conceived
00:05:35
it gives birth to sin and that's what
00:05:37
happened to me i want to look
00:05:40
there's a temptation i looked i sinned
00:05:43
and sin when it is full grown
00:05:47
gives birth to death to death
00:05:52
to death sin when
00:05:55
full-blown kills and destroys
00:05:58
and that's what our spiritual enemy
00:05:59
wants to do he wants to bait us
00:06:02
if you've ever been fishing you might
00:06:03
have used a worm or you might have used
00:06:05
allure or whatever
00:06:06
and the little fish he looks on he goes
00:06:07
that looks good
00:06:11
worm food spinny thing
00:06:14
and little fishy swims over to it you
00:06:16
know i'm sorry
00:06:17
i won't do that in the next service but
00:06:19
the fish he swims over to it
00:06:21
and takes it and the bait then
00:06:24
captures the fish and ends up in death
00:06:27
and this is what your spiritual enemy
00:06:28
does
00:06:29
it gives you a temptation a little bit
00:06:31
of bait
00:06:32
and before you take the bait the devil
00:06:34
tells you it's no big deal
00:06:37
it's just a little spinny thing it's
00:06:40
it's everybody does it
00:06:42
go ahead it'll be fun you'll love it
00:06:45
and after you take the bait
00:06:48
your enemy tells you you're horrible
00:06:50
you're disgusting
00:06:52
you can't be a christian god doesn't
00:06:54
love you at all
00:06:56
and the devil who hates you
00:06:59
and wants to use the wrong desires in
00:07:02
you
00:07:03
to lure you and bait you so that
00:07:06
eventually
00:07:07
he can kill and destroy you
00:07:11
he wants you hooked
00:07:15
how do you get hooked how do you get
00:07:18
hooked
00:07:19
um i'm going to tell you how some of you
00:07:21
have gotten
00:07:22
hooked or how some of you stepped into a
00:07:25
world of struggle
00:07:26
against lustful thoughts and the story
00:07:30
i'm going to tell you is a common story
00:07:32
and the details may not be exactly yours
00:07:35
but i'm guessing that if you have any
00:07:37
kind of battle
00:07:38
with lustful thoughts that there's some
00:07:41
version of this story
00:07:43
that is actually your story because most
00:07:45
stories go
00:07:46
something like this unfortunately at
00:07:50
some point
00:07:50
like me in the fifth grade then again in
00:07:52
the seventh grade you had
00:07:54
some type of traumatic sexual experience
00:07:57
maybe like me you were exposed to
00:07:59
pornography
00:08:00
tragically and heartbreakingly
00:08:04
many of you were molested at the hands
00:08:07
of someone that you trusted or someone
00:08:08
who abused you maybe for you it was
00:08:12
on a date and you i liked the person and
00:08:14
you were in the car and you were kissing
00:08:16
and you're all alone
00:08:17
and then you went and it was whatever
00:08:20
and you sorry you ended up doing
00:08:22
something that you
00:08:24
shouldn't have been doing didn't plan to
00:08:26
you got hooked
00:08:28
and at that moment you sustained
00:08:31
an injury it was a mental
00:08:34
injury that distorted the purity of
00:08:37
god's gift of lovemaking
00:08:40
it was an emotional injury because you
00:08:42
weren't married
00:08:43
and weren't ready to experience the
00:08:45
purity
00:08:47
of lovemaking that is available and it
00:08:50
was a spiritual
00:08:51
injury that likely caused shame
00:08:54
and separated you from god and you are
00:08:57
confused because it's really confusing
00:08:59
because
00:09:00
sometimes you can get caught up in porn
00:09:02
or masturbation or fooling around or
00:09:04
whatever it is
00:09:05
and you simultaneously can have this
00:09:07
like dopamine rush like you feel
00:09:08
good and this is fun i like this and
00:09:11
there's enjoyment and there's pleasure
00:09:13
and there's shame and there's guilt
00:09:15
and there's self-disgust and so if
00:09:18
that's your story like it was my story
00:09:21
you feel a little bit embarrassed
00:09:22
and you don't want to talk about it and
00:09:25
so you either
00:09:26
hide it which is a problem because sin
00:09:29
grows best in the dark or you justify it
00:09:33
and you say well at least i'm not i
00:09:35
could be and they are and i'm not and
00:09:36
this isn't that bad and so
00:09:38
you know god understands and you know
00:09:39
we're in love anyway or
00:09:41
it's not that big of a deal or i'm just
00:09:42
looking and i'm not doing whatever she's
00:09:44
not meeting my needs or he's not doing
00:09:45
whatever and you justify it and so
00:09:47
you either hide it or you justify it or
00:09:49
both
00:09:50
then at some point many of you your
00:09:51
story goes like this you you prayed
00:09:54
god take the desire away god i don't
00:09:56
want to do that again god i don't want
00:09:57
to look again god i don't want to go
00:09:58
there again
00:09:59
and you ask god to take the desire away
00:10:01
but the desire doesn't go away and so at
00:10:04
some point you promise i'm gonna
00:10:06
stop this is my last time and i'm not
00:10:08
gonna do it again or we're not gonna do
00:10:10
it again and for many of you
00:10:11
you actually do stop for a little while
00:10:16
and you have short periods of sexual
00:10:20
sobriety
00:10:21
until you stumble once
00:10:24
and when you stumble once that often
00:10:27
triggers a sexual binge
00:10:29
because well i just did it once i might
00:10:30
as well whatever and then i was trying
00:10:31
to start over
00:10:32
again and so you hate it but you can't
00:10:36
seem to overcome it
00:10:37
and then you hope one day when i get
00:10:41
married
00:10:42
all my problems are going to be solved
00:10:44
because you know we can be together
00:10:46
twice a day every day and three times on
00:10:48
sunday when we get married
00:10:50
that's another sermon and that's not
00:10:52
true but many of you think that
00:10:54
and then you do get married and it
00:10:56
doesn't
00:10:57
go away and the reason it doesn't go
00:11:01
away
00:11:02
is because you don't just have a lust
00:11:04
problem
00:11:06
you're dealing with a spiritual injury
00:11:09
that hasn't healed
00:11:13
and somewhere in there very likely
00:11:17
is some part of your story
00:11:20
you might say you know what's the big
00:11:22
deal like why
00:11:23
why get upset about like a little bit of
00:11:25
porn not hurting anybody
00:11:27
i could be doing so much worse um was a
00:11:30
little bit of lust what's the big deal
00:11:31
and what i want to say is that whenever
00:11:33
your lusts are full grown james said
00:11:35
it gives way to death and james isn't
00:11:38
the only one
00:11:39
who issued these stern warnings in fact
00:11:42
solomon
00:11:42
talked to his sons in the book of
00:11:45
proverbs and he said this in proverbs
00:11:47
chapter 5 verses 3 through 5
00:11:49
listen to the severity of these
00:11:52
metaphors he said for the lips of an
00:11:54
immoral women
00:11:56
they're they're sweet as honey
00:12:01
and smoother than oils move baby smooth
00:12:03
but in the end
00:12:05
she is as bitter as poison and as
00:12:10
dangerous as a double-edged sword
00:12:13
where does she lead you where does
00:12:15
sexual sin lead you
00:12:17
her feet go down to death
00:12:21
her steps lead straight to the grave
00:12:24
these are strong metaphors right sexual
00:12:27
sin
00:12:28
it looks sweet and smooth but it's
00:12:30
bitter and sharp
00:12:31
someone said it thrills and then it
00:12:35
kills
00:12:36
it fascinates and then it assassinates
00:12:40
and it takes you to death
00:12:43
what does porn do what does lust do it
00:12:46
kills you
00:12:47
porn very specifically kills you how it
00:12:50
kills you physically
00:12:51
it doesn't help your sex drive it hurts
00:12:53
it it brings stress into your body
00:12:56
it kills you emotionally because you
00:12:58
can't relate
00:12:59
and love others in a way that god
00:13:01
intended because you objectify
00:13:03
others and you start to see people
00:13:05
through eyes of sex instead of through
00:13:07
eyes of love
00:13:09
it kills you mentally because you enter
00:13:11
into a mental
00:13:12
battle in your brain that that is very
00:13:15
difficult to overcome
00:13:16
and it kills you spiritually robbing you
00:13:19
of of confidence
00:13:20
and joy and you find yourself when you
00:13:23
slip into a world of lust
00:13:25
battling with anxiety and you're
00:13:27
irritable and you feel
00:13:28
depressed and you're moody and there's a
00:13:31
loss of motivation and there's a loss of
00:13:33
sex drive
00:13:34
yes there's a loss of sex drive people
00:13:36
think that's going to increase your sex
00:13:37
drive
00:13:38
it kills your sex drive because real
00:13:40
life is real
00:13:41
and that's not real and what you're
00:13:42
watching is not real and eventually
00:13:44
especially if you're a christian
00:13:46
and you're fighting it you become
00:13:47
exhausted trying to cover your tracks
00:13:51
and manage the shame and there's always
00:13:54
this fear
00:13:55
of when is he going to find out when is
00:13:57
she going to find out when am i going to
00:13:59
get caught
00:13:59
when are they going to know i'm dirty
00:14:02
and you lose spiritual
00:14:03
confidence and you lose intimacy with
00:14:05
god and many describe it as a
00:14:08
non-stop weight and a heaviness
00:14:12
that just never goes away you're
00:14:14
dragging this this
00:14:16
lust problem this this porn problem and
00:14:19
there's
00:14:19
always somewhere in your mind the wonder
00:14:23
the fear the anxiety what happens if and
00:14:25
why can't i and why
00:14:26
am i not and where is god in all this
00:14:29
and you want to stop
00:14:31
but you can't why
00:14:35
the answer is because you have an injury
00:14:39
that hasn't healed you have an injury
00:14:42
you're stuck in the lust
00:14:46
loop and i want to show you how the loop
00:14:49
kills you and how to break
00:14:52
the loop here's what tends to happen and
00:14:55
you would know this if you've ever been
00:14:56
stuck in it
00:14:57
the first thing is you you lust and you
00:15:00
look and it gives you that that injury
00:15:02
suddenly
00:15:03
the gift of love making the purity of
00:15:05
how god intended it
00:15:06
uh is distorted and disrupted in your
00:15:09
life
00:15:10
but when you look and lust you find
00:15:11
yourself excited and you get this
00:15:13
dopamine hit
00:15:14
you're like oh that was fine oh that was
00:15:16
thrilled and oh that felt good oh
00:15:18
i like it in the moment and after the
00:15:20
dopamine hit then suddenly
00:15:21
you you feel this guilt and this this
00:15:24
shame and i feel dirty and i don't want
00:15:26
to do it so you decide
00:15:27
i'm going to try to stop and i don't
00:15:30
want to do it anymore
00:15:31
i'm going to overcome it and god help me
00:15:33
and i promise i'm not going to do this
00:15:35
and when you try to stop at some point
00:15:38
your body starts to crave that dopamine
00:15:41
hit
00:15:42
i want i want the emotional escape i
00:15:44
want to forget about my problems
00:15:46
i want the hit i want the thrill i want
00:15:48
the buzz and so you go back
00:15:50
to your injury that doesn't heal and
00:15:52
continues to look
00:15:53
and lust and the cycle goes on
00:15:57
how do we as
00:16:00
followers of jesus who have
00:16:03
access to a god-honoring life
00:16:06
and the ability to honor god with purity
00:16:10
integrity
00:16:10
how do we break the cycle
00:16:14
i want to be incredibly practical and
00:16:17
even more so
00:16:18
biblical and show you the two things
00:16:21
that i promised
00:16:22
empowered by the holy spirit inspired by
00:16:26
the word of god
00:16:27
these two things over time with the help
00:16:30
of god
00:16:31
can help you break the cycle of lust
00:16:34
and allow god to heal your wound and
00:16:37
make you hold again
00:16:38
are you ready for it you guys are really
00:16:40
quiet can we just deal with real stuff
00:16:42
today
00:16:43
hey don't be acting like this isn't a
00:16:44
real issue
00:16:46
if you're ready say i'm ready are you
00:16:48
ready type it in the chat say i'm ready
00:16:51
just type in the chat i'm ready to say
00:16:52
it out loud are you ready
00:16:54
two big thoughts the first thought
00:16:56
number one is this
00:16:57
if you're battling with lust and porn
00:16:59
don't conceal it
00:17:02
confess it don't keep it hidden
00:17:05
bring it out into the light and this is
00:17:08
scary
00:17:09
right it's nerve-wracking right now
00:17:11
you're going ah
00:17:13
okay don't conceal it confess scripture
00:17:16
is so
00:17:16
powerful proverbs 28 verse 13
00:17:19
people who conceal their sins
00:17:23
they don't prosper they don't find
00:17:26
freedom
00:17:27
there's not healing people who conceal
00:17:29
their sins
00:17:30
will not prosper but if they confess
00:17:34
and turn from their sins they will
00:17:37
receive
00:17:38
mercy they will receive healing you
00:17:40
don't conceal it
00:17:42
you confess it and some of you say but i
00:17:44
don't want to confess it this is just
00:17:46
scary and i would say to you
00:17:48
if you haven't and you're still battling
00:17:49
with it you haven't overcome this on
00:17:51
your own
00:17:52
because you are designed to heal
00:17:55
together and when we talk about
00:17:58
confession we need to understand
00:17:59
there's two different types of
00:18:01
confession
00:18:02
there's confession to god and there's
00:18:05
confession to people
00:18:07
we don't just confess to god we are in
00:18:09
life groups come on team lc
00:18:11
we we life is better together how in the
00:18:14
world do you expect to defeat
00:18:15
the forces of darkness on your own
00:18:17
you're not that strong
00:18:18
we confess to god and we confess to
00:18:20
people and there are two different
00:18:22
results
00:18:23
from two different types of confession
00:18:25
confessing to god
00:18:27
brings forgiveness and this is so great
00:18:30
no matter how dark your life is
00:18:32
if you confess your sins to god
00:18:34
scripture says he is faithful and just
00:18:36
to forgive your sins and cleanse you
00:18:38
from all unrighteousness
00:18:40
we confess to god for forgiveness but
00:18:42
james says we confess to people for
00:18:44
healing
00:18:45
james says confess your sins one to
00:18:47
another
00:18:48
and pray for each other that you might
00:18:50
be
00:18:52
healed remember you have an injury
00:18:55
that has it healed and i found that you
00:18:58
are
00:18:59
only as strong as you are
00:19:02
honest you are only as strong as you're
00:19:06
willing to be
00:19:07
honest the first thing and we're going
00:19:09
to talk more about this
00:19:10
don't conceal it confess it the second
00:19:13
thing is
00:19:15
don't fight lust flee from it
00:19:19
run from it get out of town the apostle
00:19:22
paul said this
00:19:23
in first corinthians 6 18 he didn't say
00:19:26
fight
00:19:26
sexual sin he said run from it run
00:19:29
because
00:19:30
there is no other sin that so clearly
00:19:32
affects the body
00:19:33
as this one does for sexual immorality
00:19:36
is a sin against your
00:19:38
own body we don't fight lust
00:19:41
we free from lust we flee it for example
00:19:44
in the old testament
00:19:45
you may remember the first desperate
00:19:47
housewife
00:19:48
that was potiphar's wife it's like a
00:19:50
true story uh like she attacked
00:19:53
jose like joe's you looking so good
00:19:54
there in that little tight little pants
00:19:57
or whatever
00:19:57
and uh and so she she threw herself at
00:20:00
joseph and what joseph didn't do is he
00:20:02
said didn't say
00:20:02
uh now let's talk about this let's let's
00:20:04
negotiate let's join hands and pray
00:20:06
against temptation that's not what he
00:20:08
did
00:20:08
what scripture says he did was very
00:20:10
clear verse 12 of genesis 39
00:20:12
uh when the wife caught him by the cloak
00:20:14
and said come to bed with me big boy
00:20:16
take me to bed or lose me forever she
00:20:18
said okay
00:20:19
that's the new craig version but
00:20:20
scripture says but he left his cloak in
00:20:22
his hand and what did he do say it loud
00:20:24
he ran out of the house someone typed
00:20:27
that in the chat what did he do
00:20:28
he didn't fight it he ran out of the
00:20:31
house
00:20:32
jesus taught us the same thing jesus
00:20:35
said very clearly
00:20:36
he said if your right eye causes you to
00:20:39
sin
00:20:40
gouge it out like get rid of whatever's
00:20:44
going to tempt you if your right
00:20:45
hand caused you sin he said cut it off
00:20:48
now
00:20:48
we can pause for a moment and ask
00:20:50
ourselves do you think jesus was being
00:20:52
literal
00:20:53
and i'm no expert but all i can tell you
00:20:55
is dear god i hope not
00:20:58
i think what he was saying was if
00:21:00
there's any place you're vulnerable
00:21:02
and anything that could cause you to sin
00:21:04
if there's any bait in the water
00:21:06
get out of the water get rid of get rid
00:21:08
of that that temptation
00:21:10
um he's saying be severe like if he was
00:21:13
being literal can you just imagine
00:21:15
you like walk into your office and you
00:21:16
see another guy's got a patch on design
00:21:19
you got a patch on you both got one arm
00:21:20
you're like christian
00:21:22
yeah me too i don't know right
00:21:29
don't conceal it confess it
00:21:33
don't fight it flee from it and
00:21:36
here's what's going to happen when you
00:21:38
do this
00:21:39
the god who created your body
00:21:43
will heal your body from the injury
00:21:47
and studies show just as if you break
00:21:51
your arm
00:21:51
and put it in a cast it's going to take
00:21:53
what six weeks eight weeks and
00:21:55
maybe longer to heal it takes some time
00:21:58
to heal
00:21:59
and in the same way a physical injury
00:22:01
takes time to heal
00:22:03
your spiritual your mental your
00:22:05
emotional
00:22:07
injury takes time for god to heal and
00:22:10
studies show it takes about 90 days
00:22:13
for you to start to stabilize and what i
00:22:16
want to do
00:22:16
because what i know is that many of you
00:22:19
you're not going to hide it anymore but
00:22:20
you're going to confess it
00:22:22
and you're not going to fight it you're
00:22:23
going to flee from it
00:22:25
and you're going to start the healing
00:22:27
process that god is going to do
00:22:30
and i want to show you what to expect
00:22:32
while you're healing
00:22:34
i did a lot of research and the best
00:22:36
place i found confirmed by others was a
00:22:38
well-documented article
00:22:39
called what porn does to your brain and
00:22:41
how to quit
00:22:42
and i want to show you over the 90-day
00:22:44
period what's going to happen
00:22:46
as you're detoxing from lust and god is
00:22:49
healing your injury
00:22:50
it'll go like this the first week
00:22:52
without porn
00:22:54
your dopamine is going to take a
00:22:55
nosedive because you're used to feeding
00:22:57
it and it's not going to be there
00:22:59
and because of that you're going to
00:23:01
likely experience dramatic mood swings
00:23:03
you're up and you're down you're all
00:23:05
over the place
00:23:06
you're likely to experience increased
00:23:07
anxiety and
00:23:09
possibly headaches and you might be um
00:23:12
hypersensitive to lustful thoughts
00:23:14
anything makes a lot yeah the wind blows
00:23:17
and you find yourself
00:23:18
in a vulnerable place and that's the
00:23:20
first week without porn
00:23:21
then as you progress in the process the
00:23:24
first one to three weeks without porn
00:23:27
because of the loss of dopamine and
00:23:28
because of the change in your body
00:23:30
your motivation and energy is going to
00:23:32
plummet you might find yourself
00:23:34
depressed
00:23:35
you're going to have little to no sexual
00:23:36
urges if you're married which is going
00:23:39
to be confusing to you but the problem
00:23:40
is
00:23:41
you've been looking at very lustful
00:23:43
pornographic
00:23:44
non-real stuff and at this point only
00:23:46
porn can excite you because your body is
00:23:48
messed up
00:23:49
the good news is that you continue to
00:23:51
heal and the next process is four to
00:23:53
eight weeks
00:23:54
without porn so you're now a month going
00:23:57
on two months without porn
00:23:58
your emotions are still all over the
00:24:00
place as a roller coaster
00:24:02
and you will have bursts of returning
00:24:05
energy because your body's normalizing
00:24:07
followed by sluggishness and depression
00:24:10
because you're not all the way healed
00:24:12
during this season watch out for sudden
00:24:15
bursts of temptation
00:24:16
many experts say it's at this point that
00:24:19
the most people will
00:24:21
relapse if you do relapse don't give up
00:24:24
don't binge confess it get back in the
00:24:26
game whatever you do
00:24:27
do not give up because in this process
00:24:31
god is
00:24:32
healing your wound even if you mess up
00:24:35
one time
00:24:35
it doesn't mean you're as injured as you
00:24:37
were god is doing work he's doing the
00:24:39
work
00:24:40
god is healing your brain then beyond
00:24:42
three months or so
00:24:43
you're going to start becoming
00:24:45
emotionally stable
00:24:46
your focus is going to sharpen guess
00:24:48
what your sex drive
00:24:50
it normalizes it becomes healthy and
00:24:52
returns
00:24:53
your spiritual confidence and your
00:24:55
intimacy soars you're walking with jesus
00:24:58
and guess what
00:25:00
you're being healed you feel at peace
00:25:02
you feel whole
00:25:04
you feel alive again because the spirit
00:25:07
of god
00:25:08
is healing you you don't conceal it
00:25:12
you confess it you don't fight it you
00:25:15
flee from it
00:25:16
and the bottom line is this you are only
00:25:20
as strong as you are honest
00:25:24
and i want to encourage somebody today i
00:25:26
don't know who i'm talking to
00:25:27
but let's get honest and i'm going to be
00:25:30
as honest with you as i can i will model
00:25:32
it
00:25:33
i told you as a kid i saw it in fifth
00:25:35
grade i saw it in the seventh grade
00:25:36
miraculously i didn't see much porn
00:25:39
through high school
00:25:40
and college it just wasn't very
00:25:42
available and the time when it struck me
00:25:45
and it it it scared me bad was i was
00:25:48
probably
00:25:49
31 or 32. amy may remember
00:25:52
better but it was when aol came out who
00:25:55
remembers when aol came out
00:25:58
okay and amy and i were sitting down
00:26:00
together
00:26:02
learning how to kind of surf online and
00:26:04
that was back when
00:26:05
porn would pop up and with her sitting
00:26:07
right next to me
00:26:09
something popped up in my living room on
00:26:11
my computer
00:26:13
and it scared me it scared me
00:26:17
just like you got porn in your pocket
00:26:20
there was now porn available to me in my
00:26:24
house and like i told you long before i
00:26:27
was a pastor
00:26:28
i used to be a regular guy and all the
00:26:31
way back
00:26:32
those memories of fifth grade and
00:26:33
seventh grade and sexual sin
00:26:36
i felt vulnerable so what did i do
00:26:40
i did not conceal it i can't
00:26:44
i talked to people about it talk to amy
00:26:46
about it talk to
00:26:47
john about it talk to bobby about it
00:26:50
talk to my friends about it and we came
00:26:53
up with a plan
00:26:54
and that is i just call it locking down
00:26:57
meaning everywhere i could have access i
00:27:00
lock it down
00:27:01
and i want to tell you what i do this is
00:27:04
my phone
00:27:05
and it's locked down to the best of my
00:27:08
technical
00:27:09
ability i have no way to look at porn
00:27:12
on my phone i have the back door shut
00:27:16
that
00:27:16
limits adult content meaning this is
00:27:19
true amy will tell you i cannot
00:27:21
search for a hot air balloon ride
00:27:25
because it blocks me because the word
00:27:26
hot is in there it's incredibly
00:27:28
inconvenient
00:27:29
amy could not order a swimsuit from my
00:27:31
phone because it blocks it
00:27:33
uh but i limit adult access i don't have
00:27:36
the ability to download any apps meaning
00:27:38
there are some apps you can get to stuff
00:27:39
that i don't want to get to so any app
00:27:41
that has access
00:27:42
i just don't have social media i hate to
00:27:45
disappoint you but that's not me posting
00:27:46
all the time okay
00:27:48
there's you know i'm not sitting there
00:27:49
all day posting on four different
00:27:51
platforms
00:27:51
there's like four or five people that
00:27:52
have access to my i'm on one form of
00:27:54
social media
00:27:55
i look but i don't interact i don't need
00:27:58
to go there because there's some stuff
00:28:00
on twitter i don't want to look at i
00:28:02
know i don't know how to log on to
00:28:03
twitter
00:28:04
tiktok facebook you guys have fun i'm
00:28:06
not there okay
00:28:07
i i have this locked down my computer
00:28:11
um everything i click is viewed by lots
00:28:13
of people
00:28:14
it takes images one time i did a
00:28:17
facetime with the ladies from my office
00:28:18
and there were images that said you're
00:28:20
with
00:28:20
ladies and my accountability partner
00:28:22
says who are those ladies well they're
00:28:23
in my office and i'm at home and
00:28:24
quarantined and so everything is visible
00:28:27
and you may say oh my gosh pastor craig
00:28:29
are you like that vulnerable are you
00:28:31
that weak are you like are you that sick
00:28:33
the answer is no like really generally
00:28:36
most of the time almost all the time no
00:28:39
but guess what i'm still capable
00:28:44
of falling short and in the wrong moment
00:28:48
at the wrong time
00:28:49
if i just happen to be vulnerable six
00:28:51
months from now
00:28:52
or two years from now why would i leave
00:28:55
myself access
00:28:57
to something that i don't want to look
00:28:59
at why would i leave the bait in the
00:29:01
water when i don't want to get hooked
00:29:04
so the way i phrase it and i tell my
00:29:06
pastor friends and my staff this all the
00:29:08
time
00:29:09
why resist a temptation in the future
00:29:12
when you have the power to eliminate it
00:29:14
today
00:29:22
because what do i have to lose by being
00:29:24
careful
00:29:28
what do i have to lose if i'm not the
00:29:31
same thing you have to lose
00:29:35
your relationship your peace your joy
00:29:39
your integrity your influence your
00:29:41
ministry
00:29:43
you're only as strong as you are honest
00:29:45
so what i'm going to do is encourage you
00:29:46
those of you online wherever you're
00:29:48
watching to be honest
00:29:49
and there's two questions you're
00:29:50
probably going to ask and the first
00:29:52
question you might ask is who do i tell
00:29:54
okay who do i tell if i'm going to
00:29:55
confess it
00:29:56
and you're also maybe asking well how do
00:29:58
i receive a confession
00:29:59
if someone confesses it to me and i want
00:30:01
to talk about these things
00:30:02
um who do i tell and the answer is i'm
00:30:05
going to ask you a question back who do
00:30:07
you trust to tell
00:30:09
when at all possible if you're married
00:30:11
it's a lot easier to win
00:30:13
when your spouse is on board but i will
00:30:16
acknowledge based on
00:30:17
30 years of ministry there are some
00:30:19
spouses that
00:30:20
do not want to know if it's possible i'm
00:30:24
going to recommend you work together
00:30:25
and if it's possible and wise we're
00:30:28
going to tell our spouse
00:30:29
if your spouse is one of those that
00:30:31
refuses to work with you and wants you
00:30:34
to deal with it on your own
00:30:35
i'm going to encourage you to tell who
00:30:37
you trust a christian counselor
00:30:40
your life group leader your local pastor
00:30:44
a close friend john and i have talked
00:30:47
about this for
00:30:48
probably 28 years and we have no secrets
00:30:52
you may want to get in a 12-step program
00:30:54
you may need to go to rehab
00:30:56
but we're not going to conceal it we're
00:30:57
going to confess it then how do you
00:30:59
receive a confession
00:31:00
if it's two buddies like me and john it
00:31:02
never offends me if he talks to me i
00:31:04
don't offend him if i talk to him it's
00:31:06
just two buddies
00:31:07
but if your boyfriend or your girlfriend
00:31:08
or your spouse confesses it to you
00:31:11
you might be real tempted to feel hurt
00:31:14
or angry
00:31:15
or sickened or embarrassed you might you
00:31:16
might wonder what's wrong
00:31:18
with me and what i want to do is i want
00:31:20
to just try to help you see
00:31:22
that if your spouse is coming to you
00:31:25
saying i want help it's because
00:31:26
your spouse or your boyfriend or
00:31:28
girlfriend they're
00:31:30
injured
00:31:33
and they want healing just like i didn't
00:31:36
plan to walk across those things and
00:31:38
open up that door didn't plan for aol to
00:31:40
pop up
00:31:41
um and then plan to do some of the stuff
00:31:42
i did before i was a christian
00:31:44
i got injured and i needed healing
00:31:48
and some of you if someone comes to you
00:31:50
just remember their confession
00:31:53
is a genuine desire for purity and love
00:31:57
for you
00:31:59
so even though it's going to be tempting
00:32:01
to want to take it personally and be
00:32:03
hurt and be offended and i understand
00:32:05
that
00:32:05
um as best you can recognize that you've
00:32:08
got someone who
00:32:09
really craves righteousness and loves
00:32:12
you enough to come to you and say will
00:32:14
you please
00:32:14
help me heal don't conceal it
00:32:18
confess it don't fight it
00:32:21
flee from it and if you find yourself
00:32:24
battling with us right now let me say
00:32:26
right now
00:32:26
you're not just some weirdo pervert jerk
00:32:28
lose or something
00:32:30
you're just a person that got injured
00:32:33
that god
00:32:34
loves so much and brought you to this
00:32:38
message
00:32:40
at this moment because by the stripes of
00:32:43
jesus we are
00:32:46
healed and he wants to help you
00:32:51
heal so father today
00:32:55
we pray that there would be no
00:32:57
condemnation for those who are in christ
00:32:58
jesus
00:32:59
but your love your grace your presence
00:33:01
your power your truth
00:33:03
would help set us free
00:33:07
normally at this time i would ask for
00:33:11
kind of a what i'd call a soft close
00:33:14
meaning sales you close people and i
00:33:16
would say if you're dealing with this
00:33:17
and you want to be free
00:33:19
raise your hand i'm not going to ask you
00:33:21
to do that right now what i'm going to
00:33:23
ask you to do
00:33:24
is in your heart to make a decision if
00:33:27
your heart's beating fast if you feel a
00:33:29
little nervous i'm talking directly to
00:33:31
you more importantly god's talking to
00:33:32
you
00:33:33
what are you going to do about it what
00:33:35
are you going to do about it
00:33:37
the next step could be incredibly
00:33:39
uncomfortable
00:33:40
could be could be painful it could be
00:33:43
filled with some tears and some and some
00:33:45
challenges
00:33:46
but let me ask you this how's it been
00:33:48
being locked in prison
00:33:50
how's it been dragging that weight
00:33:51
around how's it been feeling
00:33:53
feeling like you may get caught and
00:33:55
dirty and and sick and things not
00:33:57
working right
00:33:58
how's that how's that injury working for
00:34:00
you what i'm gonna ask you to do
00:34:03
is make a decision what's your next step
00:34:06
what's your next step
00:34:07
and father i pray that you would guide
00:34:10
that next step
00:34:12
show us who to confess to show us who to
00:34:16
confess to
00:34:17
god help us to heal we've seen what
00:34:20
happens
00:34:21
when you're healing us help us to even
00:34:22
expect what's coming
00:34:24
and endure it because the glory on the
00:34:26
other side is worth the price we'll pay
00:34:27
to find freedom
00:34:29
and god for any who might find
00:34:31
themselves in a more challenging
00:34:32
conversation
00:34:34
on the confessing or the receiving end
00:34:37
we pray god for your grace and your
00:34:39
presence and your holy spirit to go
00:34:40
before us
00:34:42
because you are the god who heals you
00:34:44
are the god who loves us
00:34:46
and we know there is no condemnation for
00:34:48
those who are in christ jesus
00:34:51
so god we trust you
00:34:54
and we pray that you would heal our
00:34:56
minds heal our hearts heal our souls
00:34:58
heal our relationships that we can show
00:35:01
your love and all we do
00:35:03
as you keep praying today without
00:35:05
looking around those of you watching
00:35:06
online
00:35:07
let's go broader than this topic and
00:35:09
let's just talk about
00:35:10
sin i can remember all the different
00:35:13
times i've sinned growing up i can
00:35:14
remember when i sinned yesterday and
00:35:16
fell short of god's standard what is sin
00:35:18
sin is missing the mark of god's
00:35:20
holiness we serve a holy god a perfect
00:35:22
god
00:35:23
and scripture says all of us and this
00:35:24
includes you and this includes me every
00:35:26
single one of us
00:35:27
we have sinned and fallen short of that
00:35:30
standard and you feel it at times you
00:35:31
feel the weight you feel the conviction
00:35:34
of that sin here's the good news because
00:35:36
god is so good
00:35:37
his love is so broad that he sent his
00:35:40
son jesus
00:35:41
who never sinned he was perfect in every
00:35:43
way and jesus gave his life
00:35:45
on a cross for the forgiveness of our
00:35:47
sins he didn't stay dead
00:35:49
he died as a sacrifice but god raised
00:35:51
him from the dead
00:35:52
so that anyone and this includes you who
00:35:56
calls on the name of jesus
00:35:58
your sins would be forgiven and you
00:36:01
would be made
00:36:02
completely new i called out to jesus in
00:36:04
college a broken
00:36:06
sinner i knelt down one person i stood
00:36:08
up different when you call on jesus your
00:36:10
sins are gone
00:36:11
he forgets them he forgives them you're
00:36:13
not just different you are new today
00:36:15
wherever you're watching those who say
00:36:16
i need that i want his grace i'm leaving
00:36:18
my old life behind i'm trusting in jesus
00:36:20
today i give my life to jesus
00:36:22
that's your prayer lift your hands high
00:36:24
right now just lift them up
00:36:26
all over this place saying yes to jesus
00:36:28
those of you
00:36:29
watching online just typing in the chat
00:36:31
right now
00:36:32
i'm giving my life to jesus type that in
00:36:35
i need his grace
00:36:36
i'm giving my life to jesus and i would
00:36:39
love it wherever you're watching if
00:36:41
you're comfortable just say this prayer
00:36:42
loud pray
00:36:43
jesus forgive my sins
00:36:46
heal my heart make me new
00:36:50
i give you my life all of it
00:36:53
all my brokenness all my pain
00:36:56
fill me with your spirit so i could know
00:36:59
you
00:37:00
heal my wounds make me
00:37:04
new purify my heart
00:37:07
purify my mind heal me jesus
00:37:11
so i can know you and show your love
00:37:15
i give you my life in jesus name i pray
00:37:19
could somebody celebrate beg worship our
00:37:22
god
00:37:22
welcome those born into god's family and
00:37:25
find
00:37:25
freedom and life in christ
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