7 Harsh Truths About Men I'd Share If You Were My Daughter

00:33:26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6N2cnvsZi0

Resumen

TLDRVideoen gir innsikt i syv viktige realiteter du bør være klar over før du begynner å date menn. Den understreker at menn er like overalt; både gode og dårlige menn finnes i alle land. Det å økonomisk prioritere rike menn over fattige sikrer ikke nødvendigvis de beste intensjonene. Det er viktig å unngå å gi opp sitt eget liv for en mann, spesielt uten langsiktig forpliktelse. Menn uten retning kan føre til usikre forhold, og vanene deres er viktige indikatorer på fremtidig suksess og forholdets helse. Bærekraftige forhold prioriteres over intense, kortvarige opplevelser for å gi stabilitet og varig glede i relasjonen.

Para llevar

  • 🗺️ Menn er like overalt i verden.
  • 💼 Økonomisk status betyr ikke alltid gode intensjoner.
  • ⚖️ Ikke gi opp eget liv for en mann.
  • 🧭 Viktig å finne en mann med retning i livet.
  • 👀 Vær oppmerksom på menns vaner.
  • 🔄 Søke bærekraftighet over intensitet i forhold.
  • ✉️ Menn kan enkelt avslutte forhold.
  • 🎓 Behold dine interesser og karrieremål.
  • 🤝 Balansert makt i forhold gir respekt.
  • 🔍 Analyser for fremtidig lykke.

Cronología

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Videoen starter med en diskusjon om viktigheten av å forstå visse sannheter om menn før man begynner å date dem. Det nevnes at man kan unngå smertefulle erfaringer ved å lære disse sannhetene. For eksempel, 'menn er de samme overalt' understreker at man ikke skal anta at menn fra andre steder er bedre eller verre; gode og dårlige menn finnes uansett hvor man går.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Videoen fortsetter med å forklare hvordan både rike og fattige menn kan utøve manipulasjon, bare med forskjellige midler. Mens fattige menn kanskje bruker ord og manipulasjon, bruker rike menn pengene sine for å imponere og manipulere. Poenget er at økonomisk investering ikke alltid tilsvarer følelsesmessig investering, og man må være på vakt for ikke å bli lurt av verken rikdom eller tomme løfter.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Verter diskuterer devalueringstrikset som noen menn bruker, der de oppmuntrer kvinner til å miste selvrespekt i løpet av kortsiktig moro. Menn søker kortsiktig lykke ved å fremme eventyrlyst og spontanitet, men for langsiktig lykke, ser de etter seriøsitet og selvrespekt. Mennes ønsker for kortsiktig moro kan avvike fra deres langsiktige forholdskrav.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    Det diskuteres viktigheten av å bevare egen identitet og uavhengighet i et forhold. Å gi fra seg karriere og vennskap for en mann kan gjøre kvinnen sårbar, spesielt hvis mannen bestemmer seg for å avslutte forholdet. Man bør ikke gi bort sitt liv til en partner som bare er en kjæreste, da han kan forlate deg når som helst, og du sitter igjen uten noe.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    Videoen snakker om nødvendigheten av å velge en mann med retning og mål i livet. Mange menn mangler klarhet i hva de ønsker og hvordan de skal oppnå det. Kvinner oppfordres til å finne menn som har en plan og jobber mot målene sine, for i det lange løp er dette essensielt for et vellykket partnerskap og familieliv.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:33:26

    Til slutt diskuteres viktigheten av vaner, og hvordan de kan indikere fremtidig suksess eller mangel på det. Videoen avslutter med en diskusjon om forskjellen mellom intensitet og bærekraft i forhold. Å fokusere for mye på intense følelser kan føre til kortvarig lykke, mens bærekraftige forhold gir langvarig tilfredshet.

Ver más

Mapa mental

Mind Map

Vídeo de preguntas y respuestas

  • Hvilke viktige realiteter discuseres om menn?

    Videoen diskuterer syv harde realiteter om menn man bør vite før man dater dem.

  • Er det forskjell på menn fra forskjellige land?

    Videoen hevder at menn er like overalt, og gode og dårlige menn finnes i alle land.

  • Bør jeg prioritere rike menn over fattige menn?

    Økonomisk status garanterer ikke gode intensjoner; både rike og fattige menn kan ha agendaer.

  • Hva bør man unngå når man dater?

    Unngå å gi opp ditt eget liv og interesser for en mann uten forpliktelse.

  • Hvorfor er menns vaner viktige?

    Vaner gir innsikt i hans framtidige suksess og innvirkning på relasjonens framtid.

  • Hvordan påvirker menns retning i livet et forhold?

    Menn uten klart mål og retning kan føre til et forvirrende og usikkert forhold.

  • Hva betyr bærekraftighet i forhold?

    Bærekraftighet handler om langvarig tilfredshet i stedet for kortvarig intensitet.

  • Hva er risikoen ved å stole helt på en mann?

    Å stole helt på en mann uten å ha egne interesser kan legge altfor mye makt i mannens hender.

  • Hvordan kan du beskytte deg selv i relasjoner?

    Behold dine egne interesser, jobb, og vennskap for å opprettholde personlig autonomi.

  • Hva kan vaner avsløre om en mann?

    Vaner kan indikere fremtidig suksess eller mangel på det, og påvirker forholdets fremtid.

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Subtítulos
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Desplazamiento automático:
  • 00:00:00
    what if I told you there are some
  • 00:00:02
    brutally honest things that you must
  • 00:00:04
    know about men before you begin to date
  • 00:00:07
    them what if I also told you if you
  • 00:00:10
    choose not to learn these things you
  • 00:00:12
    will eventually be taught them through
  • 00:00:15
    the painful experiences that you will
  • 00:00:18
    have with men if you would rather hear
  • 00:00:20
    it than experience it then join me on
  • 00:00:23
    today's show where we'll be discussing
  • 00:00:25
    seven harsh truths about men I'd share
  • 00:00:28
    with you if you were my daughter that
  • 00:00:31
    way you can learn of the reality you're
  • 00:00:34
    bound to face as soon as you begin
  • 00:00:37
    dating men number one men are the same
  • 00:00:41
    everywhere you're under the impression
  • 00:00:43
    that all the bad men live in the USA and
  • 00:00:46
    so let's say you are living in the USA
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    and because you live in the USA you
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    think to yourself H I'm only going to
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    meet horrible men here they all don't
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    know what they want they're all really
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    feminine they all want me to give them
  • 00:01:00
    princess treatment none of the men in
  • 00:01:02
    the USA are at all what I'm looking for
  • 00:01:04
    but you want to know who is what I'm
  • 00:01:06
    looking for he lives in Italy because I
  • 00:01:09
    have this fantasy that when I take a
  • 00:01:12
    trip to Italy I'm going to be staring at
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    the Eiffel Tower it's going to be
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    sparkling in my face there's going to be
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    a slight breeze from the west and then a
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    man is going to tap me on the shoulder
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    I'm going to look back he's going to say
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    Madame I just wanted to give you your
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    perfume that you dropped back there and
  • 00:01:28
    I wanted to let you know know that this
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    scent is unlike any scent I've ever met
  • 00:01:33
    I've ever smelt in my entire life and
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    you say oh my gosh that's such a magical
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    and kind thing of you to say and then
  • 00:01:39
    the two of you kiss in front of the
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    Moonlight while the Eiffel Tower is
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    glowing and the stars are out at night
  • 00:01:44
    here's the problem right someone said
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    that's France oh that is in France right
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    that a is not nilly right you get my
  • 00:01:50
    point see when you begin to believe that
  • 00:01:52
    hey all the good men or my fantasy is
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    existing in uh Italy or France or
  • 00:01:59
    wherever now you start to say okay the
  • 00:02:02
    man of my dreams is from there not where
  • 00:02:05
    I'm from he's from Italy so when I go to
  • 00:02:07
    Italy or I go to France right whichever
  • 00:02:10
    whichever one I go to France I go to
  • 00:02:12
    Italy and I meet a guy I automatically
  • 00:02:16
    begin to assume that guy is one of the
  • 00:02:18
    good men because I met him in the the
  • 00:02:21
    place where I imagined all the good men
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    to exist but the problem is and this is
  • 00:02:26
    where I come in as your dad to let you
  • 00:02:28
    know some he truths about men men are
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    the same everywhere meaning everywhere
  • 00:02:34
    you go there will be bad men everywhere
  • 00:02:37
    you go there will also be good men never
  • 00:02:40
    be of the belief that just because a guy
  • 00:02:43
    is from a different country a different
  • 00:02:45
    city a different culture a different
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    ethnicity that that necessarily makes
  • 00:02:50
    him a bad or a good man okay you make no
  • 00:02:55
    assumptions when you start dating guys
  • 00:02:58
    that they're either bad or good simply
  • 00:03:00
    because they're from a different area or
  • 00:03:02
    simply because you're not accustomed to
  • 00:03:03
    dating those type of men the reason I
  • 00:03:05
    say that is because you can easily
  • 00:03:07
    become tricked by men who just aren't
  • 00:03:10
    from your area because you believe all
  • 00:03:12
    the good men live in Italy or you
  • 00:03:15
    believe all the good men live in France
  • 00:03:17
    and so this man that you met in your
  • 00:03:19
    magical moment on the Eiffel Tower while
  • 00:03:21
    it was sparkling you said to yourself oh
  • 00:03:24
    this is definitely the man I'm looking
  • 00:03:25
    for so in everything that happens in
  • 00:03:28
    your relationship from there on out you
  • 00:03:30
    give him the benefit of the doubt
  • 00:03:31
    because you're of the belief that oh
  • 00:03:33
    you're exactly who I want you're the
  • 00:03:35
    kindest most nice most appreciative most
  • 00:03:37
    amazing gentleman I'll ever meet in my
  • 00:03:39
    entire life and so I'm never going to
  • 00:03:41
    doubt that I'm never going to question
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    that because I know that I always wanted
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    to meet a man in Italy and I know that
  • 00:03:49
    the men in Italy are so amazing you want
  • 00:03:51
    to know what the people from Italy or
  • 00:03:53
    the people from France are saying about
  • 00:03:55
    all the men in their area they're saying
  • 00:03:57
    all our men are garbage you should go
  • 00:04:00
    across the world to USA cuz that's where
  • 00:04:03
    all the handsome big buff masculine men
  • 00:04:07
    exist good men are everywhere meaning
  • 00:04:10
    good men are also in your town and in
  • 00:04:12
    your city there's also very bad men in
  • 00:04:15
    your town and in your city it's your job
  • 00:04:17
    to decipher in the process of meeting
  • 00:04:20
    them and getting to know them which they
  • 00:04:23
    are for number two do not convince
  • 00:04:25
    yourself that rich men are not the same
  • 00:04:29
    as as the poor men okay we're going to
  • 00:04:31
    draw a little bit of a graph here see in
  • 00:04:34
    today's 2024 World you have a lot of
  • 00:04:37
    people talking to you about how a man
  • 00:04:40
    who really likes you will do what what
  • 00:04:42
    will he do spend money and what will the
  • 00:04:45
    poor broke men do that you don't want
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    they will they'll make you pay but here
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    I am as your father here to tell my
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    precious daughter it doesn't matter
  • 00:04:54
    whether he makes you pay or whether he
  • 00:04:57
    pays for everything and spends a lot of
  • 00:04:59
    money money the reason for that is
  • 00:05:01
    because both rich men and poor men
  • 00:05:05
    understand that there is a strategy to
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    playing women they just do it slightly
  • 00:05:10
    differently see the poor men in which
  • 00:05:13
    you've been accustomed to and which
  • 00:05:15
    everyone is trying to uh make you aware
  • 00:05:18
    of they will use words and lies and
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    manipulation to essentially trick you
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    into believing into something that will
  • 00:05:28
    then have you sleeping with them or
  • 00:05:31
    allow them to take advantage of you
  • 00:05:33
    whether it be physically or emotionally
  • 00:05:34
    or get girlfriend treatment from you
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    without them putting any effort or
  • 00:05:38
    energy into you okay that's what the
  • 00:05:41
    poor men will do now the rich men they
  • 00:05:44
    have different a different level of
  • 00:05:46
    resources but the outcome or the thing
  • 00:05:49
    that they're trying to do if they're
  • 00:05:50
    trying to play you is still the same so
  • 00:05:53
    instead of using their words the rich
  • 00:05:56
    man just use their money now how do they
  • 00:06:00
    use their money they use their money by
  • 00:06:02
    flashing it in front of you
  • 00:06:04
    understanding that if I spend a lot of
  • 00:06:07
    money on you if I uh you know take you
  • 00:06:10
    out on fancy dates you've been watching
  • 00:06:13
    all these other content creators and
  • 00:06:15
    relationship advice gurus tell you make
  • 00:06:17
    sure he's investing make sure he's
  • 00:06:19
    spending all his money on you which is
  • 00:06:21
    great but you've paid so much attention
  • 00:06:23
    to that that even the rich men say to
  • 00:06:25
    themselves I know majority of these
  • 00:06:28
    women are paying attention to the the
  • 00:06:29
    amount of money I'll spend I also know
  • 00:06:32
    I'm a rich man meaning I have a lot of
  • 00:06:34
    funds in excess meaning I can spend that
  • 00:06:38
    money on her and make it look like I'm
  • 00:06:41
    really invested in her and invested in
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    this relationship you want to know why
  • 00:06:45
    that's so amazing for the men because
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    when they use their money to make you
  • 00:06:49
    believe that they're actually invested
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    in you they then get to rush this
  • 00:06:55
    process uh quicker than you regularly
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    would because you believe this is your
  • 00:06:59
    man this is who you're looking for and
  • 00:07:01
    then they say perfect now that you
  • 00:07:03
    believe I'm your man now that your guard
  • 00:07:05
    is down I'm going to get what I want
  • 00:07:08
    from you I.E to sleep with you okay so
  • 00:07:11
    in both of these scenarios just because
  • 00:07:14
    they use different means to do that that
  • 00:07:16
    doesn't mean that they're not trying to
  • 00:07:17
    take advantage of you okay and I want
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    you to recognize that because I don't
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    want you to get fooled by dating rich
  • 00:07:25
    men who will still play you okay because
  • 00:07:28
    them Having excess as funds just means
  • 00:07:31
    that instead of making you pay for that
  • 00:07:33
    first date you want to know what they do
  • 00:07:34
    instead they pay for the entire date
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    they let you spend $300 on the meal then
  • 00:07:39
    they say hey come back to my place let's
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    drink a bottle of really expensive wine
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    you go back to his place you get drunk
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    off that expensive bottle of wine you
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    you he says hey come sleep on my really
  • 00:07:49
    expensive bed you come you lay down on
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    his really expensive bed he smashes you
  • 00:07:53
    with a nice expensive premium uh condom
  • 00:07:56
    on and then he sends you on your way in
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    a nice Uber XEL or Uber black all right
  • 00:08:02
    and all the same you still end up
  • 00:08:04
    getting used uh the way about going
  • 00:08:07
    about it is just slightly different so I
  • 00:08:10
    don't ever want you to think that
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    Financial investment right when a man
  • 00:08:13
    will spend money on you equals emotional
  • 00:08:16
    investment okay because what both of
  • 00:08:18
    these men are trying to do when they
  • 00:08:20
    take advantage of you is they're trying
  • 00:08:22
    to avoid actually emotionally investing
  • 00:08:25
    you in you and this relationship while
  • 00:08:28
    simultaneously getting from you the
  • 00:08:30
    level of seriousness or investment that
  • 00:08:32
    you would be giving to a man you are
  • 00:08:34
    actually in a relationship with okay
  • 00:08:36
    number there's a little bit of a trick
  • 00:08:38
    of devaluation that the men will give
  • 00:08:41
    you when they meet you okay so we're
  • 00:08:43
    going to split this board here into so
  • 00:08:46
    on the top here we have short-term
  • 00:08:48
    happiness and on the bottom here we're
  • 00:08:50
    going to have long-term happiness now
  • 00:08:53
    here's the thing about the way men will
  • 00:08:56
    uh devalue you and encourage you to
  • 00:08:58
    devalue yourself see in short-term
  • 00:09:01
    happiness there's very particular things
  • 00:09:03
    that men want out of you and their
  • 00:09:06
    relationship with you for short-term
  • 00:09:08
    happiness right so he'll tell you things
  • 00:09:11
    like hey I want you to be really fun I
  • 00:09:14
    love girls that are
  • 00:09:15
    spontaneous okay I love girls that are
  • 00:09:18
    adventurous I love girls that take risks
  • 00:09:22
    go out of their comfort zone so you're
  • 00:09:24
    thinking in your mind oh if I want to be
  • 00:09:27
    uh really attractive to him if I want to
  • 00:09:29
    be this really seductive version of
  • 00:09:31
    myself I should be thinking outside the
  • 00:09:34
    box I should be doing I should be crazy
  • 00:09:36
    the crazier I am the more attractive I
  • 00:09:39
    am to him because he's telling me all
  • 00:09:41
    the ways he wants fun spontaneous
  • 00:09:43
    adventurous just you know different
  • 00:09:45
    right I can be different I I can get him
  • 00:09:47
    to like me and so what do you do you go
  • 00:09:50
    on the dance floor with him and then you
  • 00:09:52
    know you just started meeting him you
  • 00:09:54
    just started dancing with him you're
  • 00:09:55
    thinking I want to be fun adventurous
  • 00:09:56
    exciting so you unbutton his pants on
  • 00:09:58
    the Dance Floor and you're feeling his
  • 00:10:00
    singling while you're on the Dance Tour
  • 00:10:02
    because you want to be fun spontaneous
  • 00:10:04
    and exciting and adventurous right
  • 00:10:06
    that's adventurous he's hard on the
  • 00:10:08
    dance floor and you're feeling him up
  • 00:10:10
    inside of his pants that's that's fun
  • 00:10:12
    right spontaneous super fun okay but
  • 00:10:13
    here's the problem this is short-term
  • 00:10:15
    happiness but the thing is when you're
  • 00:10:17
    dancing with him he's like oh this is
  • 00:10:19
    exactly what I was looking for oh you
  • 00:10:21
    crazy girl you crazy you you you target
  • 00:10:24
    out a storm and it's fun in the moment
  • 00:10:26
    but then you want to know what happens
  • 00:10:27
    after he has that short-term happiness
  • 00:10:29
    and he encourages you to do that down
  • 00:10:31
    the line a couple of months he then says
  • 00:10:34
    you know what I was I was I was thinking
  • 00:10:36
    about our relationship and uh I just
  • 00:10:39
    feel like we're we're not really on the
  • 00:10:41
    same page it's a a very particular type
  • 00:10:43
    of girl that I'm looking for and uh I
  • 00:10:46
    feel like me and you just don't mesh I
  • 00:10:47
    think um I'm looking for some someone a
  • 00:10:50
    little bit more serious and I just feel
  • 00:10:52
    like I feel like you just really just
  • 00:10:54
    want to party and have fun so H I'm
  • 00:10:57
    looking for a different type of vibe and
  • 00:10:58
    you're sitting like wait um I thought
  • 00:11:00
    you wanted fun and spontaneous yeah I
  • 00:11:03
    wanted fun and spontaneous but you know
  • 00:11:05
    a different type of fun and a different
  • 00:11:07
    type of spontaneous you want to know why
  • 00:11:09
    they do that because short-term
  • 00:11:11
    happiness and long-term happiness are
  • 00:11:13
    completely different what he wants for
  • 00:11:15
    long-term happiness he wants serious
  • 00:11:18
    commitment he wants to see that you have
  • 00:11:20
    self-respect that you have boundaries
  • 00:11:24
    all the things that he encouraged you
  • 00:11:28
    not to do before before or encourage you
  • 00:11:30
    to do the exact opposite before this is
  • 00:11:33
    why you cannot listen to men when they
  • 00:11:36
    tell you what they want they I'm
  • 00:11:38
    actually going to go into dad mode here
  • 00:11:40
    men will always tell you that they want
  • 00:11:43
    something from you that benefits
  • 00:11:45
    themselves they will never tell you that
  • 00:11:48
    they want something from you that would
  • 00:11:50
    make being in a relationship harder or
  • 00:11:52
    more difficult so when you start asking
  • 00:11:56
    men what they want and I'm talking about
  • 00:11:58
    the men you're actually dating when you
  • 00:12:00
    start asking the men that you're dating
  • 00:12:02
    what they want from you understand
  • 00:12:04
    they're going to tell you or give you an
  • 00:12:06
    answer that serves their short-term
  • 00:12:08
    happiness okay majority of the time most
  • 00:12:11
    of the time just assume it's all the
  • 00:12:13
    time they will never give you an answer
  • 00:12:15
    that serves long-term happiness because
  • 00:12:17
    you want to know if what would happen if
  • 00:12:19
    he gave you an answer that served
  • 00:12:21
    long-term happiness he would say hey uh
  • 00:12:24
    actually tell me no a lot so that I know
  • 00:12:26
    that you have boundaries have self
  • 00:12:29
    respect so um you know don't always be
  • 00:12:31
    available to me don't drop everything
  • 00:12:34
    for me don't drop your career and your
  • 00:12:36
    friendships for me hey say no to
  • 00:12:39
    sleeping with me make me wait for it
  • 00:12:41
    think about this logic men will never
  • 00:12:44
    tell you that they will never encourage
  • 00:12:46
    you to do that but simultaneously those
  • 00:12:49
    will be the only moments or the only
  • 00:12:51
    character traits that men will think of
  • 00:12:53
    when they want long-term happiness so
  • 00:12:56
    the men are always are actually going to
  • 00:12:58
    be encouraging you to devalue yourself
  • 00:13:01
    that's why I call it the devaluation
  • 00:13:02
    trick they're going to encourage you to
  • 00:13:04
    devalue yourself and then once you do
  • 00:13:07
    that they'll say ah actually I you're
  • 00:13:09
    not who I'm looking for you don't have
  • 00:13:11
    the type of value or you're not the type
  • 00:13:13
    of woman that I want in my life so don't
  • 00:13:16
    fall for the trick of thinking oh when I
  • 00:13:19
    ask the guy that I'm dating what he's
  • 00:13:21
    looking for I'm going to listen to what
  • 00:13:23
    he has to say about what he's looking
  • 00:13:25
    for take it to heart and try and change
  • 00:13:28
    and adjust myself to be more of that
  • 00:13:30
    because they only want short-term
  • 00:13:32
    happiness short-term happiness serves
  • 00:13:35
    them the most you being fun spontaneous
  • 00:13:38
    and adventurous serves him absolutely
  • 00:13:41
    perfectly because when you do that
  • 00:13:43
    you're not thinking of long-term
  • 00:13:44
    consequences number four this is your
  • 00:13:47
    life and this is the man's life in your
  • 00:13:49
    life you have things like your girls
  • 00:13:52
    your fam your job and your passions he
  • 00:13:55
    also has very similar things right he's
  • 00:13:58
    got his boys he's also got work Hobbies
  • 00:14:01
    this is going to be a little bit of a
  • 00:14:02
    fatherly talk here okay this is the
  • 00:14:03
    whole point of the show you have to
  • 00:14:05
    understand that in this life the person
  • 00:14:08
    you need to look out for the most is you
  • 00:14:10
    and it is always going to be a mistake
  • 00:14:13
    when you begin sacrificing parts of your
  • 00:14:15
    life for a man especially and this is
  • 00:14:17
    the going to be the really dangerous and
  • 00:14:19
    tricky part that I want to make you
  • 00:14:20
    aware of see even the men that will come
  • 00:14:23
    to you and tell you H Habib T I want to
  • 00:14:26
    take care of you do everything for you
  • 00:14:28
    your such an amazing queen of a woman
  • 00:14:31
    you shouldn't be doing anything okay you
  • 00:14:34
    shouldn't even be lifting a finger I
  • 00:14:36
    want to take care of you you stop you
  • 00:14:39
    need to stop going to school stop
  • 00:14:41
    studying stop stop doing anything stop
  • 00:14:43
    working you can't be working you're
  • 00:14:46
    working at a restaurant as stop that
  • 00:14:48
    immediately you're my woman now I take
  • 00:14:51
    care of you I pay for everything I want
  • 00:14:52
    to pay for your rent I want to pay for
  • 00:14:54
    your Cardinal I want to do everything
  • 00:14:56
    for you right sounds good in a dream in
  • 00:14:58
    a fantasy in a Disney princess movie but
  • 00:15:00
    you're not in that and here's the
  • 00:15:02
    problem see what's going to happen when
  • 00:15:05
    these guys come across you and they tell
  • 00:15:07
    you how much of a queen you are and how
  • 00:15:09
    they want to take care of everything
  • 00:15:11
    even when they begin taking care of
  • 00:15:13
    everything you lose each one of these
  • 00:15:16
    things right you lose your job then you
  • 00:15:19
    lose your passions right then you kind
  • 00:15:22
    of lose your fem cuz you're spending all
  • 00:15:23
    your time with him and you lose your
  • 00:15:25
    girls okay so now your circle is EMP and
  • 00:15:29
    you've essentially transferred all of
  • 00:15:31
    this over here to him he's got all of
  • 00:15:35
    this now and your circle is empty but
  • 00:15:38
    here's the problem you have to
  • 00:15:40
    understand these men that tell you this
  • 00:15:43
    that you're dating can quite literally
  • 00:15:46
    this is 2024 quite literally send you a
  • 00:15:49
    text message and end the relationship
  • 00:15:53
    when this man is your boyfriend that's
  • 00:15:54
    how the kids are doing it by the way
  • 00:15:56
    right they're doing it over text they
  • 00:15:57
    don't even meet up to break up anymore
  • 00:15:59
    when he is your boyfriend he owes you
  • 00:16:03
    technically nothing all he owes you is
  • 00:16:07
    to tell you that he's breaking up with
  • 00:16:09
    you when he wants to stop being your
  • 00:16:11
    boyfriend I'm not saying that to scare
  • 00:16:13
    you while I kind of am we're having a
  • 00:16:15
    fatherdaughter conversation here but
  • 00:16:16
    what I want you to understand is do not
  • 00:16:20
    let go of the things that are the most
  • 00:16:23
    important to you in your life because
  • 00:16:25
    you get a new boyfriend that man can
  • 00:16:28
    pick up up the phone and send you a text
  • 00:16:31
    message with a couple of words and end
  • 00:16:33
    the entire relationship but once you've
  • 00:16:36
    given him your work you you've let go of
  • 00:16:39
    your girls you've let go of your family
  • 00:16:41
    you've let go of your job and your
  • 00:16:42
    passions now you have nothing and
  • 00:16:45
    remember I always tell you as your
  • 00:16:47
    father and I love you so much and I care
  • 00:16:49
    about you I tell you relationships are
  • 00:16:51
    like War everyone's fighting for control
  • 00:16:53
    so now that you've given him everything
  • 00:16:55
    in your life and you have nothing left
  • 00:16:57
    for you what do you think happens if one
  • 00:17:00
    day he wakes up and he says huh you know
  • 00:17:03
    what I I was kind of feeling like our
  • 00:17:06
    relationship would be much better if we
  • 00:17:08
    had an open relationship I was just you
  • 00:17:10
    know I was out and I was I was reading
  • 00:17:12
    up on
  • 00:17:13
    polyamory and you know I I was really
  • 00:17:15
    starting it was really starting to
  • 00:17:17
    connect with me how we should be
  • 00:17:19
    interconnected with everyone else in the
  • 00:17:21
    world and the universe and the stars and
  • 00:17:25
    I just feel like I need to love on as
  • 00:17:27
    many people as I possibly Cam and I feel
  • 00:17:30
    like a open relationship would be the
  • 00:17:33
    best example of that but I also feel
  • 00:17:35
    like I think for the benefit of you and
  • 00:17:38
    your loyalty to me I feel like it would
  • 00:17:41
    be best served to be open one-sided so
  • 00:17:44
    I'm open to give as much love as I can
  • 00:17:46
    cuz you know I have a lot of love to
  • 00:17:47
    give you know I'm a very loving person
  • 00:17:49
    and then you end up saying
  • 00:17:51
    well I mean you're paying my
  • 00:17:54
    rent you're paying my car
  • 00:17:57
    note h I have to rely on you to
  • 00:18:00
    literally live I don't have a job if we
  • 00:18:02
    break up so then you say I don't like it
  • 00:18:06
    but sure whatever because now you have
  • 00:18:08
    nothing and you sacrificed your entire
  • 00:18:10
    life for a man who can break up with you
  • 00:18:12
    over text and now you're in in between a
  • 00:18:16
    rock and a hard place because you have
  • 00:18:19
    no way to support yourself now because
  • 00:18:22
    you've allowed him to do all the
  • 00:18:24
    supporting of you it originally sounded
  • 00:18:26
    amazing when he was going to support you
  • 00:18:28
    and do everything for you but now that
  • 00:18:30
    he's actually you know doing things that
  • 00:18:33
    you don't like and you want to walk away
  • 00:18:35
    you have no more leverage because in the
  • 00:18:38
    process of allowing him to do everything
  • 00:18:40
    for you you gave him all of your power
  • 00:18:42
    now that he has all of your power he can
  • 00:18:45
    flip the script on you turn into someone
  • 00:18:47
    different and now you are forced to
  • 00:18:49
    accept it because if you walk away you
  • 00:18:52
    have no way to pay your rent you have no
  • 00:18:54
    way to pay your car note you have no way
  • 00:18:56
    uh to work you have no job no future no
  • 00:19:00
    friends no nothing why because you
  • 00:19:03
    believed a man when he first told you
  • 00:19:05
    hey I want to take care of you and do
  • 00:19:08
    everything for you you should be a
  • 00:19:09
    stay-at-home wife he didn't give you
  • 00:19:11
    stay-at-home wife ring but he told you
  • 00:19:13
    you should be a stay-at home wife so you
  • 00:19:15
    should quit going to med school quit
  • 00:19:18
    getting your bachelor's degree quit
  • 00:19:19
    going to college you can't work as a
  • 00:19:22
    server you can't be at that restaurant I
  • 00:19:24
    want you to be here with me all the time
  • 00:19:26
    and I want to take care of you 247 seven
  • 00:19:29
    it sounded amazing but he's just your
  • 00:19:31
    boyfriend as much as I know these boys
  • 00:19:33
    that you date you're going to love them
  • 00:19:35
    and you're going to think they're
  • 00:19:35
    amazing I want you to understand people
  • 00:19:37
    change and things change and in a
  • 00:19:40
    relationship you want to make sure you
  • 00:19:41
    always keep your leverage that way
  • 00:19:44
    anyone who tries to flip the script on
  • 00:19:46
    you knows that you are more than willing
  • 00:19:48
    to walk away your Leverage is your power
  • 00:19:51
    and your power also subsequently equals
  • 00:19:54
    your level of respect people will
  • 00:19:56
    respect you when they know that you have
  • 00:19:59
    a level of power and control as well
  • 00:20:02
    people don't respect you when they see
  • 00:20:04
    you have nothing and you need them
  • 00:20:06
    that's when they begin to take advantage
  • 00:20:08
    of you even in your relationships even
  • 00:20:10
    with the men you think are so amazing
  • 00:20:12
    and so awesome you can never give away
  • 00:20:15
    your leverage you can never give away
  • 00:20:17
    your power not saying that being a
  • 00:20:19
    stay-at-home wife there's anything wrong
  • 00:20:20
    with that but you should be a
  • 00:20:22
    stay-at-home wife I'm going to give you
  • 00:20:24
    a dose of reality here majority of the
  • 00:20:26
    men in this world do not have Direction
  • 00:20:29
    they don't know what they want they
  • 00:20:31
    don't know where they want to go and
  • 00:20:32
    they don't know how to get there that's
  • 00:20:34
    just the reality of life I have to tell
  • 00:20:35
    you you're my daughter I love you I care
  • 00:20:37
    about you after we get out of that
  • 00:20:39
    reality now I want you to realize there
  • 00:20:41
    are men with direction that know what
  • 00:20:44
    they want and how they're going to get
  • 00:20:45
    there we want you to align yourself with
  • 00:20:48
    those men only the rest of those you
  • 00:20:51
    know large group of men who don't know
  • 00:20:53
    what they want and don't know how to get
  • 00:20:54
    there leave them absolutely alone why
  • 00:20:58
    because you you are eventually not going
  • 00:20:59
    to be you're going to be my daughter
  • 00:21:01
    always but eventually you're going to
  • 00:21:03
    grow up and be that man's wife and in a
  • 00:21:06
    regular heterosexual relationship he is
  • 00:21:08
    going to be the head of the household
  • 00:21:11
    right he's going to be the leader not
  • 00:21:12
    that you're not capable and intelligent
  • 00:21:14
    and you not smart yourself as an
  • 00:21:17
    individual but he will be the head of
  • 00:21:19
    your household and he has to be able to
  • 00:21:21
    lead not only you but also your children
  • 00:21:24
    as well that you're going to have with
  • 00:21:26
    him and even though you're still my
  • 00:21:28
    daughter I'm eventually going to give
  • 00:21:30
    you away and you're G to have your own
  • 00:21:33
    family and build your own family and
  • 00:21:35
    your own tribe without me if that man
  • 00:21:37
    doesn't have direction or know what he
  • 00:21:39
    wants he will never be able to lead you
  • 00:21:42
    and your children that's very bad
  • 00:21:43
    because I can't help you then I can't
  • 00:21:45
    help to come in and provide direction to
  • 00:21:48
    your relationship and your immediate
  • 00:21:49
    family even though I'm your dad and I
  • 00:21:51
    love you I have my own woman and my own
  • 00:21:54
    family and my own things to tend to and
  • 00:21:56
    as you become an adult you have have to
  • 00:21:58
    VI off and you have to trust that your
  • 00:22:00
    man is capable of making good decisions
  • 00:22:03
    because if your man is a man without
  • 00:22:05
    Direction and one day he says oh you
  • 00:22:08
    know I just I don't really like to think
  • 00:22:10
    too hard you know I just like to one day
  • 00:22:12
    if I'm over here I go to the left and
  • 00:22:14
    then maybe one day if I'm feeling it I
  • 00:22:16
    go to the right and then another day you
  • 00:22:18
    know I might go over here and then I
  • 00:22:20
    might go up one day and oh today I want
  • 00:22:22
    to go to and now I want to go down and
  • 00:22:24
    I'm here one day and here and another
  • 00:22:26
    day and I'm here and I'm here and I'm
  • 00:22:27
    here and I'm here and I'm here here and
  • 00:22:28
    I'm here and I'm here all of a sudden
  • 00:22:30
    you're in a maze and you want to know
  • 00:22:32
    what happens when you're in a maze you
  • 00:22:34
    become very confused you don't know
  • 00:22:35
    where's in you don't know where's out
  • 00:22:38
    you don't know how to get out you don't
  • 00:22:39
    know how to get to the center and you
  • 00:22:40
    don't know how to get to your
  • 00:22:41
    destination you're just wandering around
  • 00:22:44
    in circles make sure when you begin
  • 00:22:46
    dating men ex out all of the other stuff
  • 00:22:49
    about feeling good and you just want to
  • 00:22:51
    be in la la land and you and all the
  • 00:22:53
    other stuff figure out first if that guy
  • 00:22:55
    has Direction in his life if he doesn't
  • 00:22:58
    you'll be wasting all of your time if he
  • 00:23:01
    does then you can start thinking about
  • 00:23:04
    all the other stuff in a relationship
  • 00:23:06
    and whether he's the one that you're
  • 00:23:07
    looking for if you meet men without
  • 00:23:10
    Direction they will literally drive you
  • 00:23:12
    around in circles until that car runs
  • 00:23:16
    out of gas in which case you will then
  • 00:23:19
    step out and say it was fun while we
  • 00:23:21
    were driving around in circles I'm going
  • 00:23:23
    to go off somewhere else and do
  • 00:23:25
    something else you're going to sit in
  • 00:23:27
    the car you're going to want wonder what
  • 00:23:28
    am I supposed to do now I've wasted
  • 00:23:30
    years of my life here direction is a man
  • 00:23:33
    who knows what he wants out of life
  • 00:23:35
    where he wants to be even if he's not
  • 00:23:37
    there right now and how he wants to get
  • 00:23:39
    there and then the fourth part of that
  • 00:23:42
    is a man who actually takes action on
  • 00:23:44
    those things that he wants out of life
  • 00:23:47
    okay and that can be anything as long as
  • 00:23:50
    he has a clear path of where he wants to
  • 00:23:52
    be and it doesn't have to be oh I want
  • 00:23:54
    to be a billionaire I want to be a
  • 00:23:56
    millionaire I want to uh solve world
  • 00:23:58
    world hunger I want to cure cancer it
  • 00:23:59
    doesn't have to be that as long as he
  • 00:24:01
    has a clear path or direction of where
  • 00:24:04
    he wants to go and he has some sort of
  • 00:24:07
    idea or semblance of how he's going to
  • 00:24:09
    get there and he actually puts that plan
  • 00:24:10
    into action that's a man with Direction
  • 00:24:13
    number six very important here when you
  • 00:24:15
    date guys one of the first things you
  • 00:24:17
    need to take notice of is his habits
  • 00:24:20
    because habits are a snapshot of where
  • 00:24:23
    he will be in the future habits have a
  • 00:24:25
    direct correlation to success or or lack
  • 00:24:29
    of success in his future and success
  • 00:24:31
    doesn't just have to mean monetary
  • 00:24:33
    success success can just mean having a
  • 00:24:35
    rich and Abundant Life so I want to give
  • 00:24:37
    you a little bit of an analogy uh so
  • 00:24:39
    that you can better understand this say
  • 00:24:41
    this is his room here let's say one day
  • 00:24:43
    he decides to leave one dirty dish there
  • 00:24:47
    let's say he slurps up some spaghetti
  • 00:24:49
    some macaroni and cheese I don't know
  • 00:24:50
    some craft dinner he makes some sort of
  • 00:24:52
    concoction and he eats it halfway
  • 00:24:55
    through and he leaves the rest of the
  • 00:24:57
    plate there while he plays video games
  • 00:24:59
    okay now leaving one plate in his room
  • 00:25:02
    is not necessarily going to be the
  • 00:25:04
    difference between life and death then
  • 00:25:06
    on day two instead of washing that plate
  • 00:25:09
    or taking it to the sink he leaves it
  • 00:25:11
    there and then he eats something
  • 00:25:13
    else and then he leaves another dirty
  • 00:25:15
    plate on day number three once again he
  • 00:25:19
    slurps his spaghetti and he leaves his
  • 00:25:22
    dirty plate while he eats or while he uh
  • 00:25:24
    plays video games and this goes on for
  • 00:25:27
    multiple
  • 00:25:29
    multiple multiple days and all these
  • 00:25:33
    plates continue to sit there and sit
  • 00:25:36
    there and sit there for weeks until they
  • 00:25:41
    all start sprouting mold so now you got
  • 00:25:44
    maggots over here right you got maggots
  • 00:25:47
    all over the place you got flies all
  • 00:25:49
    over the place you got uh you know you
  • 00:25:51
    start having rats you start having mice
  • 00:25:54
    and this whole room turns into a pigy
  • 00:25:57
    that you know the air isn't even
  • 00:25:59
    breathable anymore because of how
  • 00:26:01
    disgusting it is someone said roaches
  • 00:26:03
    yeah we can add the roaches here okay it
  • 00:26:04
    only started with one plate but the
  • 00:26:07
    habit of leaving the plates in the room
  • 00:26:10
    and never washing them over and over and
  • 00:26:13
    over again is what accumulated over time
  • 00:26:16
    to this whole room being basically
  • 00:26:19
    unlivable are you following what I'm
  • 00:26:21
    saying it doesn't become unlivable in
  • 00:26:24
    one night it becomes unlivable when the
  • 00:26:27
    habits pile up over the course of time
  • 00:26:30
    so the same thing with the men that
  • 00:26:31
    you're dating you
  • 00:26:34
    need to take notice of their habits
  • 00:26:37
    whether good or bad because those habits
  • 00:26:39
    will directly shape your future and the
  • 00:26:43
    future of your relationship with him if
  • 00:26:45
    that man has bad habits your future and
  • 00:26:48
    your relationship will be shaped
  • 00:26:50
    directly by those things so let me give
  • 00:26:52
    you an example of what we would describe
  • 00:26:55
    as a bad habit let's say for the sake of
  • 00:26:57
    example your your man has a really bad
  • 00:26:59
    habit of uh you know not communicating
  • 00:27:02
    to you when he's not going to show up
  • 00:27:04
    somewhere okay and let's just say he
  • 00:27:07
    really has a horrible habit of flopping
  • 00:27:08
    on you he'll promise you that you'll go
  • 00:27:10
    out one day and then all of a sudden you
  • 00:27:12
    know he just never says anything to you
  • 00:27:14
    doesn't speak to you and he disappears
  • 00:27:16
    for that whole day and you don't know
  • 00:27:18
    what's going on until you know the next
  • 00:27:20
    day now over the course of time you
  • 00:27:21
    might think well you know standing me up
  • 00:27:23
    on one date is not that big of a deal
  • 00:27:26
    but as you're building and building this
  • 00:27:28
    relationship with this man what you're
  • 00:27:30
    actually seeing is the habit of not
  • 00:27:33
    being uh not being responsible and the
  • 00:27:36
    fact that you can't count on him to do
  • 00:27:38
    what he says he was going to do so you
  • 00:27:40
    want to know how that habit of not being
  • 00:27:42
    able to be someone you can count on
  • 00:27:44
    manifest in the future of your
  • 00:27:46
    relationship now in the future when you
  • 00:27:48
    guys are married he then says to you oh
  • 00:27:51
    you have this really really important
  • 00:27:54
    event that's going on today yeah I'll
  • 00:27:56
    make sure that I'll finish work on time
  • 00:27:59
    or early I'll come back and I'll drive
  • 00:28:01
    you there cuz I know we only have one
  • 00:28:03
    car and I know this is a really
  • 00:28:04
    important event for you to go to for the
  • 00:28:06
    future of your job right cuz your boss's
  • 00:28:08
    going to be there and everyone's going
  • 00:28:09
    to be there you're like cool perfect you
  • 00:28:11
    can finish work early you can get here
  • 00:28:12
    drive me there and I'll be all good and
  • 00:28:14
    then in the time that you rely on him
  • 00:28:16
    when you need him the most you can't
  • 00:28:18
    count on him because he forgets and
  • 00:28:20
    fumbles and stumbles and is like oh I
  • 00:28:22
    had a really busy day at work and then
  • 00:28:24
    he just never shows up to pick you up
  • 00:28:25
    there and you don't get this job because
  • 00:28:28
    because you couldn't show up there on
  • 00:28:29
    time because you were counting on him to
  • 00:28:32
    drive you there and he was still at work
  • 00:28:34
    and so it sounds small in theory but
  • 00:28:36
    when those habits build up over time
  • 00:28:39
    they manifest themselves in different
  • 00:28:41
    ways in your relationship Point number
  • 00:28:42
    seven here sustainability versus
  • 00:28:45
    intensity you will hurt yourself and the
  • 00:28:50
    happiness of your future relationships
  • 00:28:53
    if you focus more on intensity then you
  • 00:28:56
    do sustainability there is one that
  • 00:28:59
    you're are more likely to lean towards
  • 00:29:01
    because of how it makes you feel
  • 00:29:04
    unfortunately sometimes you have to
  • 00:29:07
    understand that what your what your body
  • 00:29:09
    and your emotions are going to try to
  • 00:29:11
    get you to do actually doesn't serve you
  • 00:29:13
    it's a very strange thing that happens
  • 00:29:15
    but it happens to all of us see
  • 00:29:18
    intensity is very
  • 00:29:21
    intoxicating it feels like being drunk
  • 00:29:24
    when someone can be so intense and so
  • 00:29:26
    passionate with you
  • 00:29:28
    when you first meet them you feel like
  • 00:29:30
    you're in a fairy tale you feel like
  • 00:29:32
    you're being whisked away you feel like
  • 00:29:34
    you're in a dream and it feels good to
  • 00:29:36
    all of us to be swept up like you're in
  • 00:29:39
    a music video or you're in a movie the
  • 00:29:42
    problem is though in real relationships
  • 00:29:46
    what you're going to realize is no one
  • 00:29:49
    no one is capable of
  • 00:29:51
    sustaining such a high level of music
  • 00:29:55
    video or movie or fantasy or what pad
  • 00:29:58
    level of intensity with you it is quite
  • 00:30:02
    literally impossible for someone to be
  • 00:30:05
    that emotionally focused on you
  • 00:30:09
    247 for that person or that relationship
  • 00:30:12
    to even exist now that's not a bad thing
  • 00:30:16
    and I don't want you to think that you
  • 00:30:17
    should stop believing in love or that
  • 00:30:19
    love is not real or that you can't feel
  • 00:30:21
    emotions intensely but what I want you
  • 00:30:23
    to understand is when you're focusing
  • 00:30:25
    more on intensity you'll always get
  • 00:30:28
    tricked because you're going to be
  • 00:30:29
    focused on how you feel on a minute by
  • 00:30:32
    minute basis because that intoxicating
  • 00:30:35
    feeling is very fleeting right like I
  • 00:30:38
    said it can't be sustained so when
  • 00:30:40
    you're in that mode when you're looking
  • 00:30:42
    for that you only want to think about
  • 00:30:46
    your short-term happiness to feel good
  • 00:30:48
    in that moment like you're in that
  • 00:30:50
    fantasy but the problem is when you're
  • 00:30:52
    no longer in that fancy because it's
  • 00:30:54
    impossible to sustain that level of
  • 00:30:56
    intensity you then spend the rest of
  • 00:30:58
    your time searching for that same
  • 00:31:01
    intoxicating feeling and then you put
  • 00:31:04
    yourself in this vicious cycle where
  • 00:31:07
    because the intoxicating feeling can't
  • 00:31:09
    last you spend a lot of time not having
  • 00:31:12
    this feeling and then instead of
  • 00:31:15
    actually focusing on what you should be
  • 00:31:16
    focusing on which is sustainability you
  • 00:31:18
    spend all of that time desperately
  • 00:31:20
    focused on recreating that intoxicating
  • 00:31:24
    level of intensity you will go in a
  • 00:31:27
    hamster wheel chasing around your uh
  • 00:31:31
    that same high sustainability is what
  • 00:31:34
    actually has to do with your future
  • 00:31:35
    happiness and you want future in
  • 00:31:37
    long-term happiness you don't want to be
  • 00:31:40
    happy for just one day do you I'm asking
  • 00:31:43
    you do you want to be happy for one day
  • 00:31:46
    of the year or do you want to be happy
  • 00:31:48
    for 365 days of the year because
  • 00:31:51
    sustainability is what actually you you
  • 00:31:54
    should be looking for if you want to
  • 00:31:56
    feel safe in your relationship ship so
  • 00:31:58
    why do I say all of these things to be
  • 00:32:00
    looking out for when you're dating men
  • 00:32:02
    cuz when you're thinking about
  • 00:32:03
    sustainability and you're analyzing the
  • 00:32:05
    information being given to you on your
  • 00:32:08
    dates you'll be analyzing it from the
  • 00:32:10
    perspective of how does what is going on
  • 00:32:12
    right now either serve or do a
  • 00:32:16
    disservice to the future of my
  • 00:32:18
    relationship meaning if I were to
  • 00:32:21
    continue to see this same action right
  • 00:32:23
    for the next couple of years or the next
  • 00:32:26
    couple of decades would I be happy or
  • 00:32:29
    unhappy and if I would be unhappy right
  • 00:32:32
    with the if I'm unhappy with the things
  • 00:32:34
    that are going on right now in the F in
  • 00:32:36
    Future's time will this thing be even
  • 00:32:39
    worse what is the outlook on this
  • 00:32:41
    situation based on how it's going right
  • 00:32:43
    now these are the things I know it's not
  • 00:32:46
    fun to think about I know it's not like
  • 00:32:48
    a movie it's not like a fantasy it's not
  • 00:32:50
    like a whatpad story but these are the
  • 00:32:52
    things that are the most important
  • 00:32:53
    because when you start dating looking
  • 00:32:55
    for sustainability you start making
  • 00:32:58
    decisions for future you and then you
  • 00:33:00
    want to know who ends up being the
  • 00:33:02
    happiest future you when you make uh
  • 00:33:05
    decisions for intensity you're making
  • 00:33:07
    decisions for the shortterm you but you
  • 00:33:09
    want to know who ends up being the most
  • 00:33:11
    unhappy and the most miserable future
  • 00:33:14
    you because future you looks back on the
  • 00:33:16
    decisions that uh you know short-term
  • 00:33:18
    you made for intensity purposes and says
  • 00:33:21
    damn I really wish I didn't make that
  • 00:33:23
    decision or choose that guy
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