How To Know Yourself

00:05:56
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lTbWQ8zD3w

Résumé

TLDRTemo e bua ka mohopolo oa boitsebahatso ba motho, ho totobatsa bohlokoa ba ho utloisisa boikemelo ba motho le litekanyetso tse ikemetseng ntle le tumello ea kantle. Ha motho a le sieo ba khona ho tseba se ba khethollang, ba ka sokola ka ho tšoana le ho amohela kapa ho nyatsuoa, le ho tsotella maikutlo a ba bang haholo. Leha ho le joalo, ka ho batla tataiso ho setsebi kapa motho ea bohlale le ea mosa, re ka qala ho utloisisa le ho ekenya ho se re ananelang 'nete. Ka ho etsa joalo, re tla ba le kholiseho e khōlōanyane, re se ke ra khomarela monate oa kantle, 'me re tla khona ho arabela litlhahiso le likhohlano ka boiqapelo.

A retenir

  • 🤔 Many are unsure of their self-worth and values.
  • 🌍 People may struggle with public opinion without a stable identity.
  • 🧐 Knowing oneself helps in handling praise and criticism effectively.
  • 👶 Identity is shaped by early relationships and validation.
  • 🛠 Emotional neglect can lead to a lack of self-identity.
  • 💪 Self-discovery involves understanding one's true feelings.
  • 📚 Psychotherapy can aid in building a stable identity.
  • 🎯 Knowing oneself fosters originality and independence.
  • 💬 Encouragement and support at a young age build resilience.
  • 🔍 Self-awareness reduces reliance on external validation.

Chronologie

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:56

    Batho ba bangata ba tla botsa lefatše ka bokhabane mehahong e mengata, ba khona ho phethahala lintlheng tse ngata, empa ba na le leqeba la motheo le ba thibelang hore e be seo ba ka ‘nang ba ba sona. Ha ba tsebe hantle hore na ke bo-mang. Ha e le hantle ha se hore ba ke ke ba hopola lintlha tsa mantlha tsa li-biografi tsa bona, empa ho na le lintlha tse peli ka ho khetheha tseo ba sa li tsebeng; pele, ha ba na kutloisiso e tsitsitseng ea hore na ba bohlokoa hakae, 'me sa bobeli, ha ba na boiphihlelo bo tiileng litlhahlobisong kapa diqetong tsa bona. Ho se tsebe hore na ke bo-mang ho ba fa mathata a khethehileng ha ba sebetsana le ho nyenyefatsa kapa ho tlotlisoa. Haeba batho ba bang ba etsa qeto ea hore ha ba na thuso kapa ba na le hampe, ha ho letho ka hare ho bona le ka thibelang ho monya liqeto tse fosahetseng le tse sehlōhō ka ho felletseng.

Carte mentale

Mind Map

Questions fréquemment posées

  • What are the two main points of insecurity mentioned?

    Not knowing our worth and lacking a secure hold on our values.

  • How do people react without a stable sense of identity?

    They may struggle to handle denigration or adulation, heavily rely on external opinions, and seek undue validation.

  • What contributes to a lack of self-identity?

    Unsupportive early relationships and emotional neglect can lead to an unstable identity.

  • What's a solution for those struggling with self-identity issues?

    Seeking guidance from a psychotherapist or a wise and kind person to help understand and validate one's feelings.

  • How does knowing oneself impact reactions to praise and criticism?

    It makes a person less reliant on external validation and more resilient to criticism.

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    many of us are wandering the earth
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    accomplished in many ways capable of
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    fulfillment at many points but with a
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    fundamental wound that stops us from
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    becoming who we truly might be
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    we don't quite know
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    who we
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    are
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    it isn't of course that we can't
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    remember the basics of our biographies
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    we're unsure around two things in
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    particular firstly we don't have a
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    stable sense of what we're worth
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    and secondly we don't have a secure hold
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    on our own values or judgments
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    without knowing who we are we tend to
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    have particular trouble coping with
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    either denigration or adulation
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    if other people decide that we are
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    worthless or bad there will be nothing
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    inside us to prevent us from swallowing
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    their verdicts in their entirety however
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    wrong-headed extreme or unkind these
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    might be
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    we'll be helpless before the court of
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    public opinion we'll always be asking
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    other people what we deserve before
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    seeking inside for an answer
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    lacking an independent verdict we also
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    stand to be unnaturally hungry for
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    external praise the clapping of an
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    audience will matter to us far more than
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    would ever be wise
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    we'll be pray to rushing towards
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    whatever idea or activity the crowd
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    happens to love
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    we'll laugh at jokes that aren't funny
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    uncritically accept undeserving concepts
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    that are in vogue and neglect our truer
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    talents for easy popular wins
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    will trail public opinion slavishly
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    constantly checking the world's whims
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    rather than consulting an inner
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    barometer in order to know what we
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    should want feel and value
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    we need to be kind on ourselves no one
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    is born with an independent ability to
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    know who they are we learn to have an
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    identity because if we're blessed in our
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    early years someone else takes the
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    trouble to study us with immense
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    fairness attention and kindness and then
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    plays us back to us in a way that makes
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    sense and that we can later emulate they
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    give us the beginning of a true portrait
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    of our identity which we can then take
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    on and enrich over the years and use as
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    a defense against the distorting
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    verdicts from hurried or ill-intentioned
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    others
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    knowing who one is is really the legacy
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    of having been known properly by
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    somebody else at the start
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    this early identity building tends to
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    unfold with apparently innocuous but
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    life-saving small steps oh that must
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    really have hurt a parent might say in
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    response to an upset thereby validating
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    an infant's own feelings or it's okay
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    not to feel happy on your birthday the
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    parent might say at another point
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    delicately upholding an infant's less
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    typical response to certain events
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    ideally the child isn't just known he or
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    she is also interpreted as likable a
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    good parent offers generous
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    interpretations they're on the side of
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    the child and are always ready to put
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    the best possible gloss on moments of
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    ill-temper or a failure which forms the
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    basis upon which resilient self-esteem
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    can then later emerge
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    now that's the ideal but it can of
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    course go very wrong and often does
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    a parent may offer mirroring that is out
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    of sync with the reality of the child
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    look who's such a happy little boy or
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    girl a parent might insist when actually
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    the opposite is clearly the case thereby
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    badly scrambling the child's ability to
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    connect with their own emotions or the
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    parent might only lend the child a very
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    harsh punitive way of interpreting
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    itself repeatedly suggesting that the
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    child is ill-intentioned or no good or
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    the parent may simply not show very much
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    interest in the child focusing
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    themselves elsewhere so that the child
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    grows up with a feeling that not only is
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    it not worth cherishing but also because
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    it hasn't been adequately seen and
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    mirrored that it doesn't even quite
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    exist
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    a feeling of unreality is the direct
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    consequence of emotional neglect
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    realizing that we lack a stable identity
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    is a sobering realization but we can
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    with a fair wind start to correct the
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    problem at any point
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    we need to seek out the help of a wise
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    and kindly other person perhaps a good
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    psychotherapist someone who can study us
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    closely mirror us properly and then
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    validate what they see through their
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    eyes we can learn to study perhaps for
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    the first time how we really feel and
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    take seriously what we actually want
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    we can by being witness generously more
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    often learn to take our own sides and
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    feel increasingly solid inside trusting
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    ourselves more than we trust the crowd
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    feeling that we might be able to say no
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    not always swaying in the wind and
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    feeling that we are in possession of
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    some of the ultimate important truths
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    about us
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    having come to know ourselves like this
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    we will be a little less hungry for
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    praise a little less worried by
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    opposition and a lot more original in
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    our thinking
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    we will have learned the vital art of
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    both knowing and befriending who we
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    really are
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    our know yourself cards can help us to
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    better understand the deepest most
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    elusive aspects of ourselves follow the
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    link now to learn more
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    you
Tags
  • identity
  • self-worth
  • validation
  • emotional neglect
  • self-discovery
  • therapy
  • self-esteem
  • values