00:00:00
and so today i wanted to talk to you
00:00:02
guys a little bit about
00:00:02
conscientiousness
00:00:04
and so um i know this is kind of weird
00:00:06
but like i got this question a year ago
00:00:08
like literally like
00:00:10
a year ago or maybe even over a year ago
00:00:13
and um i i know this sounds bizarre but
00:00:16
i actually did not have an answer so
00:00:18
people
00:00:19
kept on asking me like how do i improve
00:00:20
my conscientiousness
00:00:22
so i've been working on it for like a
00:00:23
year and trying to figure out like
00:00:25
reading papers on on personality
00:00:27
assessment you know like reading
00:00:28
some of these old texts on yoga um
00:00:32
and things like that so in trying to
00:00:33
figure out like okay how can we improve
00:00:35
conscientiousness is there a way to do
00:00:37
it
00:00:37
so came up with a couple of theories and
00:00:39
then tried to test them out with a
00:00:41
couple of people over the last
00:00:42
few years what does it mean i know we'll
00:00:45
we'll um
00:00:46
uh we'll get into i'll explain what all
00:00:48
that is and so then tested it with a few
00:00:50
people and it turns out that it actually
00:00:51
does kind of work
00:00:52
at least anecdotally so that's what i
00:00:55
want to kind of talk to you guys about
00:00:56
today
00:00:58
so this is going to be we're going to
00:00:59
use um you know like
00:01:01
i'm going to draw a little bit so let's
00:01:03
kind of dive in
00:01:05
okay so the first thing to understand is
00:01:08
that
00:01:09
um so when we look at different kinds of
00:01:11
different people
00:01:12
we have different personalities or
00:01:14
different kind of cognitive traits or
00:01:15
styles
00:01:16
and in the east we look at systems like
00:01:18
ayurveda or traditional chinese medicine
00:01:21
which will use elements
00:01:22
to describe what kind of person someone
00:01:24
is um so they'll say that like for
00:01:27
example
00:01:27
a vata person is like a wind type and so
00:01:30
their mind is like the wind so it
00:01:32
it blows hard in one direction and then
00:01:33
like changes direction easily
00:01:35
so vatas are people who get bored who's
00:01:37
easily pick things up very quickly
00:01:40
they can be very passionate about things
00:01:41
for like 15 minutes and then it kind of
00:01:43
like
00:01:44
you know isn't stable isn't consistent
00:01:46
so that's where the eastern system
00:01:48
in the western system there's one really
00:01:50
good uh
00:01:52
validated model of personality and that
00:01:55
is the five
00:01:55
factor model and so the five factor
00:01:58
model basically
00:02:01
studied people's personalities and what
00:02:03
they found using a technique called
00:02:04
factor analysis
00:02:06
is that personality tends to cluster in
00:02:09
five different
00:02:10
groups okay so these groups are
00:02:12
extraversion
00:02:14
openness agreeableness conscientiousness
00:02:17
and neuroticism
00:02:18
and so what do these five factors mean
00:02:20
so extroversion
00:02:22
is like how extroverted or introverted
00:02:25
you are
00:02:26
um so people who have high extraversion
00:02:28
like tend to get
00:02:29
relaxed with other people they draw
00:02:31
energy from other people
00:02:32
people who have low extroversion prefer
00:02:34
to be like by themselves
00:02:36
um it doesn't necessarily have anything
00:02:38
to do with how many friends you make or
00:02:39
how charismatic you are it's just sort
00:02:40
of
00:02:41
you know what you prefer so openness is
00:02:44
like is a tendency to like
00:02:46
openness new experiences so you tend to
00:02:48
be like open-minded
00:02:50
as opposed to like a little bit more
00:02:51
traditional
00:02:53
agreeableness is like how likely you are
00:02:55
to get along with other people and like
00:02:57
kind of
00:02:58
be malleable or flexible with your
00:03:00
thinking
00:03:01
it doesn't mean that you're nice or mean
00:03:03
it just means that like you kind of
00:03:06
you know are pretty like open mind uh
00:03:08
you're willing to sort of
00:03:10
change your views to accommodate others
00:03:12
um
00:03:13
and then we get to conscientiousness so
00:03:15
this is kind of a big thing in the
00:03:17
gaming community because people who like
00:03:19
so this is a cool thing about the gaming
00:03:20
community is that a lot of people
00:03:21
nowadays who like read the internet
00:03:23
are actually like amateur psychologists
00:03:25
which i think is fantastic so you guys
00:03:27
you know do
00:03:27
a lot of research you guys read a lot of
00:03:29
stuff on the internet you watch
00:03:30
educational videos and then one of the
00:03:32
things that comes up is this trait of
00:03:34
conscientiousness so conscientiousness
00:03:36
is your ability to sort of
00:03:37
focus on a task for extended periods of
00:03:40
time
00:03:41
um it also governs things like impulse
00:03:43
control so people with low
00:03:44
conscientiousness tend to be impulsive
00:03:46
and have trouble with follow-through
00:03:47
whereas people with high
00:03:48
conscientiousness tend to be um
00:03:51
you know like disciplined organized and
00:03:54
will follow through
00:03:56
and so um one of the interesting things
00:03:59
is that like people tend to think that
00:04:01
certain
00:04:01
attributes of uh you know certain
00:04:03
attributes are better than others
00:04:06
so generally speaking a lot of like the
00:04:07
gaming community feels like they have
00:04:09
low conscientiousness and therefore they
00:04:11
like
00:04:12
lost the lottery right so if you're kind
00:04:14
of born or nurtured in
00:04:15
in a way where your personality forms
00:04:17
with high conscientiousness
00:04:19
you're actually okay doing things like
00:04:21
delaying gratification working hard
00:04:23
working towards a goal and following
00:04:25
through and then there's
00:04:26
us who's like well we don't we're not
00:04:29
good at that i'm kind of lazy i'm
00:04:31
undisciplined
00:04:32
and so people ask me the question is we
00:04:34
were you know talking about the five
00:04:35
factors like how do i
00:04:36
increase my conscientiousness so that's
00:04:38
when what today's lecture is going to be
00:04:40
about
00:04:42
and the last uh attribute is actually
00:04:44
neuroticism which is your tendency to
00:04:46
worry so people may think that
00:04:48
neuroticism which is like
00:04:50
your tendency to like suffer up here is
00:04:52
a bad thing
00:04:53
and it certainly causes suffering but
00:04:55
there are a lot of things that show that
00:04:56
neuroticism is actually an adaptive
00:04:58
trait
00:04:59
so people with super low neuroticism are
00:05:01
what i think of as like the classic
00:05:02
pothead
00:05:03
like sit around all day do nothing like
00:05:06
not really worry about anything like
00:05:08
they don't get worried about stuff
00:05:09
they're just super chill
00:05:10
and so as a result they don't get
00:05:12
motivated to do things because
00:05:14
you know they don't really care about
00:05:15
the consequences
00:05:17
and um so for example doctors or
00:05:20
actually medical students
00:05:21
is a better way to put it tests very
00:05:22
high in neuroticism and hit very high in
00:05:24
conscientiousness
00:05:26
and the reason for that is because like
00:05:27
they were the kids that were worried
00:05:29
about getting a b
00:05:30
on a test when they were in college
00:05:32
which pushed them to study like on
00:05:34
friday nights
00:05:35
instead of going to parties and they're
00:05:37
also kind of hard working so like
00:05:39
that combination of traits is what sort
00:05:42
of allows people to like
00:05:43
be successful medical students or get
00:05:45
into medical school
00:05:47
so it's not like high neuroticism is
00:05:49
better than low neuroticism and oddly
00:05:51
enough it's not like
00:05:52
low conscientiousness is better than
00:05:53
high conscientiousness
00:05:55
but in our society we tend to select
00:05:58
or reward people who have high
00:06:00
conscientiousness
00:06:02
so that gets to the crux of today's
00:06:04
lecture which is that if i have low
00:06:06
conscientiousness
00:06:07
am i sol am i screwed
00:06:11
or is there something that i can do to
00:06:13
boost conscientiousness
00:06:15
and so people basically think if i have
00:06:17
low conscientiousness like
00:06:19
you know i drew the short straw in life
00:06:22
what can i do about it
00:06:23
so it took me a little while um
00:06:27
but it actually turns out that you can
00:06:28
improve conscientiousness
00:06:30
or at least i think so and here's the
00:06:32
best way that i've been able to kind of
00:06:34
figure out how
00:06:35
okay so let's start by thinking about
00:06:38
what actually happens in the mindset of
00:06:40
someone who has low conscientiousness
00:06:41
okay
00:06:43
so um when we're thinking about like
00:06:46
conscientiousness like
00:06:47
oh sorry yes let's think about low
00:06:49
versus high conscientiousness
00:06:50
so let's say that like it's a wednesday
00:06:53
afternoon and i'm done with my classes
00:06:55
and i've got two choices
00:06:56
i can play apex legends or
00:07:00
i can study for my like test next
00:07:03
tuesday
00:07:04
right and so in the mind of someone who
00:07:05
has high conscientiousness it's a little
00:07:07
bit easier
00:07:08
for them to study instead of like play a
00:07:10
game and
00:07:12
um if we think about it like i have two
00:07:14
impulses right so like one
00:07:16
impulse is like what i want to do and
00:07:19
one impulse
00:07:20
is like what i don't want to do we're
00:07:21
not going to say it's good for me or not
00:07:23
good for me because the first thing to
00:07:24
understand is like
00:07:25
the impulses are what's what i want to
00:07:26
do and what i don't want to do
00:07:30
and so you kind of get distracted um and
00:07:34
you end up going towards ipex legends
00:07:35
right so if you have high
00:07:36
conscientiousness you choose the thing
00:07:37
that you don't want to do
00:07:39
you have low conscientiousness you
00:07:41
basically give in to the thing that you
00:07:42
want to do
00:07:43
so you have this impulse to play a video
00:07:45
game and you give in to it
00:07:46
so if we kind of think about it is there
00:07:48
any way to train ourselves
00:07:51
to do what we don't
00:07:54
or not not do what we don't want to do
00:07:57
is there any way to train ourselves
00:07:59
to avoid doing the thing that we want to
00:08:01
do
00:08:02
and there's kind of a a subtle answer
00:08:05
what we really mean by that is
00:08:06
is there anything that i can do that
00:08:09
will
00:08:10
set myself and what i want aside
00:08:13
because that's basically what we're
00:08:14
doing right so if i want to play a video
00:08:16
game that's like prioritizing me
00:08:18
and like can we set that thinking aside
00:08:20
in favor of something else
00:08:22
how do we train our minds to set aside
00:08:24
what we want
00:08:25
in favor of like what's good for us and
00:08:28
so the subtle thing there
00:08:29
is that it's not necessarily a choice
00:08:31
between what's
00:08:32
good for me and what i want it's just
00:08:35
the key act if you look at the cognitive
00:08:37
act it's actually setting aside what you
00:08:39
want which is the important thing it's
00:08:40
the impulse control
00:08:41
which is the important thing and so
00:08:43
conscientiousness is associated with
00:08:45
with higher degrees of impulse control
00:08:47
and so the funny thing is that the
00:08:48
answer is actually right in the word
00:08:50
okay so if we think about
00:08:51
conscientiousness what do we when we
00:08:54
think about a person who's conscientious
00:08:56
what does that mean right so if we think
00:08:59
about like what are the different term
00:09:00
what are the different ways in which we
00:09:02
use that term to describe people
00:09:04
so the first okay so people say
00:09:08
aware conscious so it's not necessarily
00:09:12
conscious
00:09:13
right so it's it's like they think about
00:09:15
people who are like hard-working
00:09:17
but when when she think when we also
00:09:19
think about we think about people who
00:09:20
are caring like so if we think about a
00:09:21
person who's like very conscientious
00:09:23
that person is like
00:09:24
thoughtful about other people and so the
00:09:27
funny thing
00:09:28
there's a really simple way to do to
00:09:30
boost conscientiousness which is just to
00:09:31
be
00:09:32
thoughtful for other people or to i know
00:09:34
it sounds kind of weird but like to just
00:09:36
be a nice person
00:09:37
to be a good person to try to put other
00:09:38
people first to be selfless
00:09:41
and so this is really subtle because if
00:09:43
you think about it like when i do
00:09:45
something for someone else like let's
00:09:46
say i've got like
00:09:48
a pizza right and i've got like this a
00:09:50
whole pizza to myself
00:09:51
and if i think about it i'm sort of like
00:09:53
okay well let me think about what i can
00:09:54
do for someone else
00:09:56
i can eat the whole pizza myself or i
00:09:59
can share the pizza with someone else
00:10:01
and in that moment i have an impulse
00:10:03
let's say it's eat the pizza all by
00:10:04
myself
00:10:05
and what i'm doing when i when i care
00:10:07
about other people in a very like
00:10:08
thoughtful and deliberate way
00:10:10
is i'm setting aside my own impulses so
00:10:12
i want you guys to think
00:10:14
about helping other people and how
00:10:16
helping other people
00:10:17
almost certainly comes at a cost to
00:10:19
yourself
00:10:20
right you have to give something up in
00:10:23
order to help someone else
00:10:24
so if you share something that you have
00:10:25
you know you lose half of it if i
00:10:28
have a friend who's sick and i make them
00:10:29
like you know chicken noodle soup or
00:10:32
whatever like
00:10:32
lentil stew whatever and i like bring it
00:10:34
over there i lose like an hour two of my
00:10:37
time i can't play video games during
00:10:38
that time
00:10:39
i have to go and do something for
00:10:40
someone else i essentially expend
00:10:42
effort at a cost to myself for the
00:10:44
benefit of another person
00:10:46
and i know it sounds kind of weird but
00:10:47
if you really look at what happens in
00:10:49
the mind of someone who helps another
00:10:51
person
00:10:52
there's a really really key common
00:10:54
element
00:10:55
which is the avoidance or restraining
00:10:58
your impulse to benefit yourself
00:11:00
right so if i do anything that's nice
00:11:02
for someone else it has to come at a
00:11:04
cost to me
00:11:05
and that's actually a really wonderful
00:11:06
thing because that is what allows us
00:11:09
to train conscientiousness okay
00:11:13
so let's kind of think about that so
00:11:14
then like the tricky thing about the
00:11:16
personality models
00:11:17
is that um you know people also look at
00:11:20
things like empathy right
00:11:21
and so they say oh isn't helping other
00:11:24
people
00:11:24
empathy isn't that what makes you an
00:11:26
empathic human being and the short
00:11:28
answer is
00:11:29
not really and this is why it's a subtle
00:11:31
there's a lot of nuance here
00:11:32
so empathy is the capacity to feel
00:11:36
what someone else is feeling and so
00:11:38
people who are naturally
00:11:39
empathic naturally like or more helpful
00:11:42
towards other people
00:11:43
that's not what we're talking about
00:11:45
right so what i'm actually talking about
00:11:47
the best example of what i'm talking
00:11:49
about
00:11:49
is the altruistic sociopath so i don't
00:11:52
know if you guys know this but
00:11:53
sociopathy is another like personality
00:11:55
kind of scale it doesn't really fit into
00:11:57
the five factor model or
00:11:58
it maps onto the five factor model in
00:12:00
its own way it's sort of like low
00:12:02
agreeableness maybe a certain amount of
00:12:03
conscientiousness
00:12:05
but the altruistic sociopath is actually
00:12:08
like what we're going to look at to
00:12:09
understand this
00:12:10
so i don't know if you guys know this
00:12:12
but there are a lot of people who are
00:12:13
like really really good people who are
00:12:15
not
00:12:15
empathic they just choose to be good
00:12:19
people
00:12:20
so i've worked with some of these people
00:12:21
and a lot of times like the problem with
00:12:23
sociopaths is that
00:12:24
the ones that get like so if you look at
00:12:26
incarceration rates and stuff like that
00:12:28
sociopathy is like higher in a prison
00:12:30
population but the tricky thing there
00:12:32
there's there's some
00:12:33
evidence that suggests that like the
00:12:35
sociopaths who wind up in prison
00:12:37
are the ones that like get caught and
00:12:39
aren't actually very good at it
00:12:42
um and so they actually may have like a
00:12:44
lower iq so so you it is possible to
00:12:46
have these like altruistic sociopaths
00:12:48
and i
00:12:49
see these a lot so i work with a lot of
00:12:50
c-suite executives and these people test
00:12:52
very highly on the sociopathy scale
00:12:54
i myself test highly on the sociopathy
00:12:56
scale psychiatrists actually routinely
00:12:59
test highly on the sociopathy scale
00:13:00
surgeons test highly on the sociopathy
00:13:02
scale
00:13:03
it's kind of strange right so if you
00:13:04
think about what what is it that
00:13:07
why are psychiatrists high on the
00:13:08
sociopathy scale it's because in a sense
00:13:10
we have
00:13:11
like a very protective or low level of
00:13:13
empathy and what i mean by that is that
00:13:16
like
00:13:16
when i'm sitting with someone with
00:13:18
depression i can't let that person's
00:13:20
depression
00:13:21
like wash over and affect me i actually
00:13:24
need a barrier or it helps
00:13:26
if like i can look at their depression
00:13:28
like clinically without feeling
00:13:30
sad like with them and then feeling like
00:13:32
helpless with them
00:13:33
so instead of feeling feeling that
00:13:35
empathic helplessness it's actually
00:13:36
protective for me to like
00:13:38
be insulated from that and so if you
00:13:40
look at an altruistic sociopath what you
00:13:42
see is someone who
00:13:43
does a lot of things for other people
00:13:46
but
00:13:46
also doesn't do it because of empathy
00:13:50
so they do it sort of cognitively right
00:13:52
so what they do is like eat
00:13:54
up here what they say is like they wake
00:13:55
up in the morning and they're like okay
00:13:56
what can i do
00:13:57
oh this will be like something i can do
00:13:58
for someone else and like that's a good
00:14:00
thing
00:14:01
it's not based on a feeling it's sort of
00:14:03
based on a cognitive process
00:14:05
of choosing to set someone else
00:14:08
above you okay and so this is the key
00:14:12
thing about boosting conscientiousness
00:14:13
is people look at it and they say like
00:14:15
okay
00:14:16
it's hard for me to train myself to like
00:14:18
not watch youtube and study ahead
00:14:20
instead i completely agree that's really
00:14:22
hard it's like fighting an uphill battle
00:14:24
the trick is to use altruism
00:14:28
is your tool like that's going to be
00:14:30
essentially like the weights that you
00:14:32
practice with
00:14:33
right so what i want you guys to
00:14:34
understand is that if your conscientious
00:14:36
is low
00:14:36
conscientiousness is low do stuff for
00:14:39
other people
00:14:41
very simply right so in that process
00:14:43
what you're gonna have to do is set
00:14:45
aside
00:14:46
parts of yourself in favor of other
00:14:48
people and by doing that what you're
00:14:50
gonna train
00:14:51
in your mind is the capacity to set
00:14:54
aside what you want
00:14:55
and so and the cool thing is if you look
00:14:57
at the gaming population like
00:14:58
this is actually something that's really
00:15:00
awesome about us is that we actually
00:15:02
are really good at helping other people
00:15:03
like you guys can get off your ass if it
00:15:05
involves like doing something
00:15:06
substantive for someone else so if we
00:15:08
look at that motivational hump
00:15:10
that you need to get over to train your
00:15:12
conscientiousness
00:15:13
once you throw someone else into the
00:15:15
picture it actually becomes a lot easier
00:15:18
so just to kind of summarize you can
00:15:20
absolutely
00:15:22
train conscientiousness and the way that
00:15:24
you do it is by being
00:15:26
a conscientious human being which is to
00:15:28
be like
00:15:29
nice towards other people and to try to
00:15:30
do things for them
00:15:32
and the really fascinating thing about
00:15:34
this discovery is that this is not like
00:15:36
a new idea right so
00:15:37
if you really think about it like in the
00:15:40
eastern or karmic religions they talk
00:15:42
about karma
00:15:43
or karma and what they say is like what
00:15:45
goes around comes around right so they
00:15:47
sort of say that
00:15:48
if you do good things for other people
00:15:50
like your life will be improved
00:15:52
and that's really weird right so like if
00:15:54
you want to assume there's some sort of
00:15:56
like
00:15:56
cosmic principle or god or someone who's
00:15:59
like
00:16:00
you know using omnipotence to benefit
00:16:03
people that they deem to be good
00:16:05
that system sort of makes sense but we
00:16:06
don't really have any
00:16:08
evidence of any of that so let's just
00:16:09
scrap all that sort of religious stuff
00:16:12
let's try to understand is there like an
00:16:14
actual worldly observation
00:16:16
that supports this theory of karma which
00:16:19
is that like if you do
00:16:20
good by other people your life will be
00:16:22
improved and the funny thing is that
00:16:24
this revelation about conscientiousness
00:16:26
is like the perfect
00:16:27
link that explains that because what the
00:16:30
theory of karma essentially discovered
00:16:32
like thousands of years ago
00:16:34
was that when i do things for other
00:16:36
people i am in training my
00:16:37
conscientiousness
00:16:39
and by doing things for other people i'm
00:16:41
training my mind to be
00:16:43
more restrained i'm training my mind to
00:16:46
not be a victim to my own desires
00:16:48
i'm training my mind to be less
00:16:51
impulsive
00:16:52
i am being the controller of my mind
00:16:54
instead of the mind being the controller
00:16:56
of me
00:16:57
and what they realize is that the people
00:16:58
who consistently do things for other
00:17:00
people
00:17:02
will i don't know if they put these two
00:17:04
pieces together but they made the
00:17:05
observation that people who consistently
00:17:06
do things for other people
00:17:09
their lives start to improve and the
00:17:10
reason for that is really simple it's
00:17:12
because as you train your
00:17:13
conscientiousness
00:17:14
like you're able to study more easily
00:17:17
you're able to like
00:17:18
work harder and clean and be like have
00:17:20
better discipline and better follow
00:17:22
and then naturally as a consequence of
00:17:25
that happening then people like start
00:17:26
doing better in their jobs they start
00:17:27
doing better in their families they
00:17:29
start
00:17:29
like they start being more respected
00:17:31
like there are a lot of positive things
00:17:32
that come out of that
00:17:34
and so it's it's really kind of
00:17:36
fascinating because like the last thing
00:17:37
that i just
00:17:38
kind of want to say is that it's
00:17:39
interesting that karma is like so you
00:17:41
specific
00:17:42
and what i mean by that is like how on
00:17:44
earth in a cosmic
00:17:45
level does me like helping a lady with
00:17:49
her groceries
00:17:50
improve my life like that doesn't make
00:17:52
any sense
00:17:53
right there's no like cosmic energy that
00:17:55
is going to like wrap around and get to
00:17:57
me like we don't have any evidence of
00:17:59
that so if we look at it
00:18:00
how does the theory of karma work it the
00:18:02
only way the theory of karma
00:18:04
can work is actually through you because
00:18:06
you're the only common element
00:18:08
like if i help an old lady over here and
00:18:10
then my life gets better over here
00:18:12
what's the dot that connects
00:18:14
these two things it's you and so the
00:18:17
medium
00:18:18
of action for karma must be the
00:18:20
individual
00:18:22
and once we realize that then we realize
00:18:24
oh [ __ ] like that makes perfect sense
00:18:25
right because
00:18:26
now if we look at the the medium of like
00:18:30
how we improve our lives through helping
00:18:32
others it has to be through us
00:18:34
there has to be a change within our
00:18:35
brain or body but let's assume brain
00:18:38
because that's usually what
00:18:39
you know is responsible for stuff so
00:18:41
there had you know there has to be a
00:18:42
change in your brain
00:18:43
that connects helping an old lady with
00:18:46
her groceries with like improving your
00:18:47
life
00:18:48
and i think that missing link is
00:18:50
literally this this piece of
00:18:51
conscientiousness
00:18:53
so it's really fascinating because you
00:18:55
know if we look at like how to improve
00:18:57
your life
00:18:57
we've got this like theory that's
00:18:59
thousands of years old
00:19:01
which has sort of survived the test of
00:19:03
time right so if you think if you look
00:19:05
at it
00:19:06
like there's a darwinian effect for
00:19:09
concepts
00:19:10
in human history so the concepts that
00:19:12
tend to be like more reliable and
00:19:14
successful will be the ones that get
00:19:16
propagated through time
00:19:17
and the concepts that are like not
00:19:20
reliable
00:19:21
won't get propagated through time right
00:19:23
so if you look at religions for example
00:19:26
like horus and zeus aren't like
00:19:29
any better than like you know whatever
00:19:32
god
00:19:32
was around like you know in other
00:19:34
cultures so there's like
00:19:36
there's a sense that religions will be
00:19:38
born and die because
00:19:39
those particular like figures won't
00:19:43
don't add anything it's some of these
00:19:45
core concepts from religion which will
00:19:47
actually last through time
00:19:49
so the theory of karma has been saying
00:19:51
this for thousands of years and what i
00:19:52
think is super cool
00:19:53
is that now that we understand
00:19:54
personality analysis we see this
00:19:56
interesting link
00:19:58
that okay so the conscientiousness and
00:20:00
doing things for other people and
00:20:01
improving your own life
00:20:03
actually is like kind of explained
00:20:05
through our current understanding
00:20:06
of like validated science around
00:20:08
personality
00:20:10
so at the end of the day how do you
00:20:12
improve your life
00:20:13
how do you improve your
00:20:14
conscientiousness how do you become a
00:20:16
hard
00:20:17
worker when you can't restrain your
00:20:19
impulses and you can't do it for
00:20:21
yourself
00:20:22
you recruit a certain amount of altruism
00:20:24
you recruit doing it for someone else
00:20:27
and when you do it for someone else
00:20:28
literally what you have to do is set
00:20:30
aside what you want or things that
00:20:32
benefit you
00:20:33
are giving in to your impulses for the
00:20:35
sake of another human being
00:20:37
and the more you do that you train your
00:20:39
muscle that sets aside your impulses
00:20:41
and the more you train your muscle to
00:20:43
set aside your impulses
00:20:45
the more conscientious you will become
00:20:47
the more conscientious you become
00:20:49
the more you will be able to study and
00:20:51
like work
00:20:52
and read instead of playing video games
00:20:54
or watching youtube
00:20:55
or netflix or whatever and that's really
00:20:57
like it's that simple so i've been
00:20:59
you know i put this theory together like
00:21:01
about six seven months ago
00:21:03
and i've been piloting it with a couple
00:21:05
of the clients that i work with and it
00:21:06
actually seems to be working pretty well
00:21:08
that when people start to put themselves
00:21:10
like second instead of putting
00:21:12
themselves first
00:21:14
in their interpersonal relationships
00:21:16
they start to like do things like
00:21:17
there's one person i was working with
00:21:19
that
00:21:19
has a degree and hasn't had a job in
00:21:21
eight years so they like finished their
00:21:22
degree and they like never got a job
00:21:24
and you know for a little while they
00:21:26
were just working on repairing their
00:21:27
interpersonal relationships and like now
00:21:29
they have a job using their degree for
00:21:30
the first time
00:21:32
and it's like it's night and day for
00:21:34
them so here's what i'd say
00:21:36
you know hopefully this works but this
00:21:38
is where you guys have to try it out
00:21:40
right
00:21:41
so like this is where i can propose to
00:21:44
you guys i mean
00:21:45
i'm not the speaker of truth this is
00:21:46
just the hypothesis that i've come up
00:21:48
with which i feel pretty confident about
00:21:50
because i think it's sort of supported
00:21:51
by like eastern theory and western
00:21:53
science
00:21:54
it's sort of anecdotally tested in like
00:21:56
half a dozen of people
00:21:58
and based on my own explorations of mine
00:22:00
and frankly
00:22:01
the healthy gamers so i'm also a great
00:22:03
example of this where i have low
00:22:04
conscientiousness
00:22:05
right so like i suck at this stuff i
00:22:08
have a vata mind
00:22:10
and so if you think about it what is it
00:22:11
that keeps me motivated is like thinking
00:22:14
about you guys
00:22:15
so like over the last week i've written
00:22:17
31 000 words of like maybe a non-fiction
00:22:20
book and like what motivates me to do
00:22:22
that
00:22:22
instead of playing video games it's the
00:22:24
idea that like oh my god
00:22:26
like i may die in like a year or two
00:22:28
years or five years or 10 years
00:22:30
and it would be a real pity if i spent
00:22:33
all my time learning this stuff
00:22:35
and like some random accident happened
00:22:37
and like i didn't
00:22:39
you know like it's weird like i was like
00:22:40
thinking about that and like i only have
00:22:42
a limited amount of time on this earth
00:22:44
so i better
00:22:44
get busy because i won't be around
00:22:46
forever right and i don't mean that to
00:22:48
be like
00:22:49
you know i don't want people to get sad
00:22:50
and stuff i mean it's like it's really
00:22:51
like a cognitive sort of thing
00:22:53
this is where thankfully the sociopathy
00:22:54
within me is it's nice because i can sit
00:22:56
with that thought like without
00:22:57
getting overwhelmed it's just like a
00:22:59
real practicality right
00:23:00
but it's actually thinking about you
00:23:02
guys that motivates me to work like it's
00:23:04
it's thinking about you guys and trying
00:23:06
to help other human beings
00:23:07
that restrains my conscientiousness
00:23:09
which is like pretty low because i'm a
00:23:10
supervisor person
00:23:12
right i'm bad at follow through and all
00:23:13
that kind of good stuff too
00:23:15
and so it kind of works so i encourage
00:23:18
you guys to test it out
00:23:19
right so like try it out for yourselves
00:23:22
and see what happens if you start
00:23:24
putting other people first
00:23:25
and if you do put other people first
00:23:27
like notice what's happening in your
00:23:28
mind when you do that
00:23:30
notice that every time you put someone
00:23:32
else first you have to put yourself
00:23:34
second
00:23:34
and that putting yourself second is
00:23:36
setting aside that impulse
00:23:38
and so every time you do that you're
00:23:39
getting a little bit stronger you're
00:23:40
gaining a little bit of xp
00:23:42
you're leveling up just a tiny well
00:23:43
you're not leveling up because that's
00:23:44
like you know incremental
00:23:46
but you know you're getting xp and then
00:23:47
like what you'll do is you'll notice a
00:23:49
level up
00:23:50
at some point right like you'll notice
00:23:51
that like oh wow i'm actually able to
00:23:53
like clean my room now because
00:23:55
it's weird i wasn't able to do that
00:23:57
that's a level up i'm actually able to
00:23:59
put together my resume i'm actually able
00:24:00
to apply for the job i'm actually able
00:24:02
to
00:24:03
learn this extra thing that i've always
00:24:05
wanted to learn like if you're a
00:24:06
programmer and you like we're like oh
00:24:08
i'd really like to learn this and you
00:24:09
never get around to it
00:24:11
so try and put other people first and if
00:24:14
it doesn't work as a diablo the divine
00:24:15
has a great question
00:24:16
if it doesn't work shocking in the
00:24:19
meantime with your failure you have made
00:24:20
the world a better place
00:24:23
oh [ __ ]
00:24:34
sucks um if you guys want to work
00:24:37
through some of this stuff right so we
00:24:38
teach these concepts the whole reason
00:24:40
that we have a coaching program
00:24:42
is so that like you can work with a
00:24:43
coach to actually like problem solve
00:24:45
your particular issues
00:24:47
and um kind of work through those things
00:24:50
like with someone and then like it tends
00:24:51
to be pretty effective
00:24:52
so coaching is a great way to sort of
00:24:55
explore
00:24:56
like testing and improving your
00:24:58
conscientiousness overcoming laziness
00:25:00
um figuring out like how to implement
00:25:03
changes in your life and things like
00:25:04
that
00:25:04
they'll also help you find a little bit
00:25:06
about your dharma and all that kind of
00:25:08
good stuff
00:25:10
[Music]
00:25:12
okay
00:25:14
[Music]
00:25:18
uh
