00:00:00
five things that make you weak as a man
00:00:04
number one easiest loow hanging fruit
00:00:08
which is physically soft men in my
00:00:11
experience are also emotionally
00:00:16
soft why is
00:00:18
that physical hard work makes you
00:00:24
tenacious when your body tells you not
00:00:26
to do something because it's painful or
00:00:30
it's
00:00:31
exhausting or you could
00:00:34
fail your mind has to take over the
00:00:37
inclination and the words the groaning
00:00:39
of the body and your mind has to tell
00:00:42
your body what it is going to do in no
00:00:45
uncertain
00:00:47
terms this builds a mental emotional
00:00:51
fortitude so that when things don't go
00:00:54
your way when things are stacked against
00:00:56
you when problems happen when un
00:01:00
certainty hits you you have that switch
00:01:04
in your mind and you're used to turning
00:01:07
it on that switch to turn it on and say
00:01:11
adversity no problem I'm going to get
00:01:14
after it I'm going to plow through it
00:01:16
I'm going to attack it now this isn't in
00:01:19
regards to body fat or something like
00:01:21
that I think people often make too much
00:01:24
about having six packs and all of this
00:01:27
kind of vain glorious things
00:01:30
what I'm talking about is a man who has
00:01:34
physical
00:01:35
fortitude there are guys who compete in
00:01:38
strong man who have
00:01:41
guts but have bowling ball shoulders
00:01:44
huge traps thick necks big hands and uh
00:01:48
almost unrivaled ability to block out
00:01:52
pain and push through so don't confuse
00:01:57
somebody who is ripped
00:02:00
with somebody who is actually hard
00:02:03
physical hardness comes from enduring
00:02:08
challenges and fighting through them and
00:02:11
your mind telling your body it is going
00:02:13
to submit to its
00:02:15
will number two cussing cussing every
00:02:20
time I hear someone cuss a man cuss I
00:02:22
know that's a mentally weak
00:02:24
man why because when somebody cusses
00:02:28
they're expecting you to carry the
00:02:31
burden of their
00:02:33
fragility they're upset they're angry
00:02:36
they're
00:02:38
uh uh you know reacting in an
00:02:41
emotionally exaggerated way and the only
00:02:45
way for them to cope with that is to let
00:02:47
off all these swear words and kind of
00:02:49
dump it on you you know when somebody
00:02:54
says uh oh David goggin he's so hard
00:02:57
when I hear that man talk forgive me
00:03:00
that doesn't sound like a man who has it
00:03:04
rained
00:03:05
in that sounds like a man whose emotions
00:03:09
just fly off the fence you know he's
00:03:12
just he's just
00:03:15
overboard with his emotional reaction to
00:03:18
things this isn't healthy this isn't
00:03:21
normal this isn't
00:03:23
stability men should not be talking
00:03:25
about things that bother them too much
00:03:28
men should not be getting getting
00:03:30
frustrated too often even frustration
00:03:33
even when I hear myself get frustrated
00:03:35
sometimes I go that is
00:03:37
weakness that is me seeing something
00:03:39
that is out of my control and being a
00:03:42
victim to what is out of my control and
00:03:44
allowing it to uh rock my
00:03:49
stability number three smiling too much
00:03:53
smiling too much there's a saying in
00:03:56
Russia if you see a person uh smiling in
00:03:59
the streets they are either uh mentally
00:04:04
defective or they're
00:04:07
American you know in American culture
00:04:10
it's all about being happy all the time
00:04:13
smiling putting off of this air of you
00:04:16
know I'm happy with everything in life
00:04:19
that's not reality there's a time and a
00:04:21
place to be sober and to be sober minded
00:04:24
and that is most of life you know my
00:04:26
wife used to talk to me I would finish
00:04:28
serving The Divine Liturgy
00:04:30
and I would come out of the Altar and
00:04:32
she said you look like like almost like
00:04:35
you're angry and I'm like I'm not angry
00:04:39
but I've just spent two hours
00:04:41
interceding before God for the people
00:04:45
calling on his
00:04:46
Mercy that sobriety that's
00:04:51
soberness that's firmness of character
00:04:54
that isn't L dah smiling all the time
00:04:57
life is serious Sal is serious we should
00:05:01
have a serious disposition does that
00:05:04
mean that we smile absolutely does it
00:05:07
mean that we tell jokes absolutely can
00:05:10
we be light-hearted at times
00:05:12
sure but going around and being
00:05:15
light-hearted all the
00:05:17
time is not befitting a
00:05:20
man a man has to be dialed in and
00:05:24
focused on his salvation saying the
00:05:28
Jesus prayer being in a state of
00:05:30
repentance keeping himself emotionally
00:05:32
grounded being focused on eternity and
00:05:35
then and then he has times where he can
00:05:39
let
00:05:40
loose this is also why a man needs to
00:05:43
make eye
00:05:45
contact when you make eye contact you're
00:05:48
allowing other people to look into you
00:05:51
and when you look into them you should
00:05:53
not be afraid of them looking back into
00:05:55
you you should have a resolve and an
00:05:58
understanding and acceptance for who you
00:06:00
are as a person that is not afraid of
00:06:03
what other people's judgments thoughts
00:06:05
or cares are for
00:06:07
you number four not having a
00:06:11
schedule not knowing what you're doing
00:06:13
each day it's not a problem to do some
00:06:19
video games it's not a problem to watch
00:06:22
a show or a movie on Netflix it's not a
00:06:25
problem to sit down with a
00:06:28
book okay the problem becomes when it's
00:06:31
out of balance and it's not pre-arranged
00:06:35
it's not
00:06:37
scheduled and when it's binging when
00:06:40
it's escapism when it's just too
00:06:43
much a man should have a set of tasks
00:06:47
that he knows he needs to accomplish
00:06:49
every day my goal right now is to write
00:06:53
to actually text message myself four or
00:06:55
five goals every single night before I
00:06:58
go to bed so that I have those things
00:07:00
that are focused in my mind that I need
00:07:02
to check off and accomplish for the day
00:07:05
and not only that ideally a man has a
00:07:08
time he goes to bed he has a time that
00:07:10
he wakes up he knows when he's going to
00:07:12
eat he eats on a scheduled time he has
00:07:16
everything dialed in in an orderly
00:07:18
fashion this is what you see when you go
00:07:20
to a monastery to me a monastery is the
00:07:24
kind of Pinnacle of when everything is
00:07:27
controllable and right how it should
00:07:29
look and whenever you go to a monastery
00:07:32
there's one common theme which are they
00:07:34
are very orderly they have a schedule
00:07:37
they have days they have commitments
00:07:39
they have a daily schedule weekly
00:07:41
schedule monthly schedule everything is
00:07:43
laid out in advance and a man needs to
00:07:46
know what he's doing when he's doing it
00:07:49
the worst thing in the world is for a
00:07:51
man to wake up and not know what he's
00:07:53
supposed to be doing or where he's
00:07:54
supposed to be going or what he's
00:07:56
supposed to be
00:07:57
accomplishing every man should should be
00:07:59
waking up knowing number one I have
00:08:02
allocated enough time to pray and my
00:08:04
number one job is to
00:08:07
pray and number two at the end of the
00:08:10
day I have allocated enough time to pray
00:08:12
and I know what time I need to pray and
00:08:15
what time I need to accomplish these
00:08:16
things that's number four number five
00:08:20
not being
00:08:22
vulnerable not being
00:08:25
vulnerable you have to have a means of
00:08:28
opening yourself up to somebody else now
00:08:31
does this have to be everybody
00:08:33
absolutely not that would be both
00:08:36
unwise and potentially dangerous to
00:08:39
share your thoughts and feelings with
00:08:41
everyone but you need to find at least
00:08:43
one at least one person in your life
00:08:47
that you can share everything with I
00:08:50
remember when I was in my mid 20s and I
00:08:53
really began to realize how juvenile I
00:08:56
was as a person and one of the things
00:08:58
that I read in the Saints and was this
00:09:02
idea of revealing your thoughts they
00:09:04
said Reveal Your Daily thoughts to
00:09:07
somebody and from an older more
00:09:09
experienced person so that they can give
00:09:11
you feedback on how you're thinking and
00:09:14
approaching life and I had a man in my
00:09:15
life who to this day is kind of the
00:09:18
closest thing do I have that I have as a
00:09:20
father figure and he's a very mature
00:09:23
solid man and I said hey can I call you
00:09:27
regularly to talk about my thoughts
00:09:29
thoughts on how I'm processing life and
00:09:31
he's like yeah no problem and I mean I
00:09:33
probably called
00:09:34
him hundreds of
00:09:37
times for a year or two straight to
00:09:40
discuss every thought and thing that I
00:09:42
was grappling over everything that
00:09:44
caused me mental anguish
00:09:47
discomfort I lacked peace or Clarity on
00:09:50
I would call him and the funny thing is
00:09:53
at the end of two
00:09:55
years I said what would and I and
00:09:58
because I began to change and I began to
00:10:01
see how he thought about things I
00:10:03
thought about things like this he
00:10:04
thought about them like this and I was
00:10:06
constantly moving my will over to his
00:10:10
will and his Insight because I knew I
00:10:12
would head in the direction of maturity
00:10:14
and manliness if I did this and so after
00:10:16
two years I asked him I said what was it
00:10:19
like when you used to talk to me and he
00:10:21
said when I first started talking to you
00:10:23
he said 80% of what you thought was
00:10:26
wrong and 10% was legit imately
00:10:31
crazy so 25 years old 10% of what I
00:10:35
thought was
00:10:37
correct 80% was wrong and 10% of it was
00:10:40
mentally
00:10:41
deranged I'm okay with that because I
00:10:45
didn't want to stay in that and the only
00:10:48
way not to stay in that is to expose it
00:10:52
and so it is you have to find somebody
00:10:55
that you can tell on yourself to you can
00:10:58
say hey I'm having these crazy thoughts
00:11:00
or these crazy feelings or I'm
00:11:02
processing this and it's giving me a lot
00:11:04
of Anguish help me out tell me what to
00:11:07
do and with this gentleman that I did
00:11:09
this with when I would call him on the
00:11:11
phone I'd say hey I've got an issue he'd
00:11:13
say okay shoot I would lay out the issue
00:11:17
the problem the discomfort whatever it
00:11:19
was I'll give you an example one time I
00:11:22
called him and I said okay I'm upset I
00:11:25
got something going on he goes shoot
00:11:27
what's happening I I go I asked my wife
00:11:31
not to buy more than one pair of shoes
00:11:33
she went out and bought three pairs of
00:11:35
shoes on the credit card and she
00:11:37
Justified it somehow in this whole thing
00:11:39
and blah blah blah blah blah and uh I'm
00:11:43
you know livid at the time and he said
00:11:45
okay this is what he would always say
00:11:47
okay are you ready for feedback and I'd
00:11:49
say yes whatever he told me at that
00:11:52
point was gospel truth I just took it
00:11:55
and ran with it because anything he
00:11:57
offered was better than what I had
00:11:59
and I remember in that situation said
00:12:01
okay are you ready and I saides and he
00:12:03
said there's only room in the marriage
00:12:05
for one
00:12:08
wife and what he was saying was one
00:12:11
person in the marriage May complain may
00:12:13
get upset may get flustered may get
00:12:15
overwhelmed may do things and that we
00:12:18
allow to be the wife you're the husband
00:12:21
stop acting like this and as soon as he
00:12:24
said that I said okay I got it I'll dial
00:12:29
it in I'll figure it out I'll find a
00:12:32
solution that's the key that's the key
00:12:36
winners find a solution in life and
00:12:40
you've got to surround yourself with
00:12:42
people who can show you how to win at
00:12:44
life they've got good marriages they've
00:12:47
got good children they've got good
00:12:49
careers they have a good work ethic
00:12:52
they're servants they pray they're at
00:12:56
church they're in the services maybe
00:12:58
they're the your priest also all of
00:13:01
those factors you want to glean and grab
00:13:05
from them and so you have to open
00:13:07
yourself up to their direction and you
00:13:09
have to open up yourself to following
00:13:11
what they tell you to do and treating it
00:13:13
and high regard may God bless you I pray
00:13:17
this video strengthens you as a man and
00:13:19
that you may enter more fully into your
00:13:21
manliness
