Why Narcissists, Psychopaths are PROUD of Who They Are?

00:23:11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YJVPcMxrQ8

Summary

TLDRThis video by S. Vaknin explores the emotional relationship individuals with narcissistic and psychopathic disorders have with their conditions, contrasting it with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Unlike BPD, which is stigmatized, narcissists and psychopaths often view their disorders as evolutionary advantages. These personality disorders stem from early childhood experiences and are influenced by both genetic predispositions and environmental factors like abuse or overprotection. Narcissism and psychopathy serve as compensatory mechanisms to deal with a chaotic, frightening world, providing a false sense of security and superiority. Vaknin also highlights that both narcissists and psychopaths rely on their disorders for self-identity, creating an emotional bond with their conditions due to a lack of alternative secure bases during formative years. The narrative touches on the concept of "fantasy as defense," used by these individuals to create a perceived sense of untouchability and superiority, compensating for their internal fears and insecurities.

Takeaways

  • 🤔 People with BPD often feel ashamed, while narcissists and psychopaths may view their disorders proudly.
  • 🧠 Narcissism and psychopathy are compensatory, providing a false sense of safety from internal fears.
  • 👶 Early childhood trauma plays a critical role in developing these personality disorders.
  • 🔒 The disorders create a false security, making one feel independent and superior.
  • 🚫 Narcissists and psychopaths elevate their conditions as if divinely endowed, reinforcing self-image.
  • 🌀 Fantasy acts as a defense, insulating them from reality's threats.
  • 📚 The speaker, S. Vaknin, emphasizes narcissism's role in self-identity and false self-creation.
  • 🔍 A misconception is that pampering is harmless, but it can mirror adversities fostering personality disorders.
  • 🎭 'Object inconstancy' contributes to paranoia and distrust, fueling their defensive behaviors.
  • 🔄 Without their disorders, individuals feel empty, leading to a strong emotional bond with the condition.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Individuals with borderline personality disorder often feel ashamed of their diagnosis due to societal stigma. Unlike them, narcissists and psychopaths view their disorders as strengths or evolutionary adaptations. Narcissism and psychopathy are choices influenced by daily decisions, whereas borderline tendencies are often hereditary. The expert presenting this analysis is S. Vakin, an author and clinical psychologist, exploring narcissists' and psychopaths' emotional connection with their disorders, termed cathexis. Such disorders usually stem from disrupted self-identity formation in early childhood, influenced by genetic predisposition and adverse experiences, not neglect alone but also overprotectiveness that is as harmful, fostering dependency and unrealistic expectations.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Object constancy issues, developed from childhood adversity, lead to distrust in others, resulting in anxiety and insecurity. This constant fear of abandonment or world hostility underpins both psychopathy and narcissism. These disorders serve as compensatory mechanisms to restore a sense of safety and stability, creating an illusion of divine invulnerability in narcissists or omnipotence in psychopaths. Their extreme independence is an artificial secure base formed due to lack of security in their upbringing. This self-generated security often makes narcissists and psychopaths believe in their superiority and grandiosity as a protective mechanism.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Narcissists and psychopaths misuse their disorders to generate a false sense of superiority and safety, forming an elevated hierarchy in their minds that distances them from criticism or societal norms. This results in confusion about identifying narcissists versus psychopaths, notably due to their shared grandiosity, a defense mechanism insulating them from reality and paranoia that everyone is against them. This paranoia is linked with narcissism as it positions the individual at the center of imaginary conspiracies, feeding their grandiose self-perception.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:23:11

    Psychopathy and narcissism are emotionally driven, compensatory disorders, often resulting in self-destructive outcomes. However, individuals believe these disorders elevate their societal value and survival prospects, holding onto these beliefs because they define their existence. Removing these disorders reveals empty shells devoid of personal identity, cementing their emotional investment in them. Consequently, narcissists cannot heal because their disorder is integral to their perceived uniqueness and offers a rationalization for their actions, despite their disruptive nature. Even when acknowledging issues, they blame their disorder, perpetuating a loop of justification and perceived exemption from societal rules.

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Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • What is the main difference in how people with BPD versus narcissists and psychopaths view their disorders?

    People with BPD often feel ashamed of their diagnosis due to stigma, while narcissists and psychopaths typically view their disorders with pride and as advantages.

  • Why are narcissism and psychopathy considered compensatory disorders?

    Narcissism and psychopathy are compensatory as they help individuals cope with feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and the unpredictability of the world, often rooted in early childhood trauma and abuse.

  • How do narcissists and psychopaths create a sense of safety through their disorders?

    They create a sense of safety through traits like grandiosity and defiance, which make them feel invulnerable, independent, and superior to others.

  • What role does early childhood play in developing narcissism and psychopathy?

    Early childhood abuse and adverse experiences disrupt the formation of a functional self, leading to personality disorders like narcissism and psychopathy, especially in those with genetic predispositions.

  • What is "object inconstancy" and how does it relate to these disorders?

    Object inconstancy is the belief that others cannot be trusted and will eventually betray, abandon, or harm you. It contributes to the anxiety and defensive behaviors seen in narcissism and psychopathy.

  • How do narcissists and psychopaths compensate for the trauma and anxiety from early childhood?

    They develop ideologies elevating their disorders as gifts or evolutionary benefits, creating a false sense of security through superiority and detachment from others.

  • Why might some narcissists and psychopaths view their disorders as advantageous?

    They see their disorders as providing competitive advantages, allowing them to manipulate, dominate, and remain self-sufficient, which they perceive as strengths.

  • How do narcissistic and psychopathic traits serve as a "secure base"?

    These traits provide a psychological buffer, creating a facade of safety and omnipotence, compensating for a lack of real emotional support and stability in childhood.

  • What is the role of fantasy in narcissism and psychopathy?

    Fantasy acts as a defense mechanism, insulating individuals from a perceived hostile reality by reinforcing their sense of grandiosity and importance.

  • What misconceptions do self-styled experts have about these disorders?

    They often misinterpret pampering as opposite of adversity, and sometimes fail to differentiate between narcissism and psychopathy or mislabel behaviors of those with these disorders.

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  • 00:00:02
    people with borderline personality
  • 00:00:04
    disorder are ashamed of their
  • 00:00:07
    diagnosis clinicians are aware of this
  • 00:00:11
    and to the best of their ability they
  • 00:00:13
    try to avoid labeling people with
  • 00:00:17
    borderline personality disorder there's
  • 00:00:19
    a stigma
  • 00:00:21
    attached narcissists and Psychopaths on
  • 00:00:23
    the other hand are quite proud of their
  • 00:00:27
    disorders they regard their disord as
  • 00:00:31
    evolutionary
  • 00:00:32
    adaptations as competitive advantages as
  • 00:00:37
    something to boast
  • 00:00:39
    about and to be emulated by others who
  • 00:00:43
    are less fortunate to have become or
  • 00:00:46
    have been born narcissists and
  • 00:00:48
    Psychopaths this is pretty ironic
  • 00:00:51
    because narcissism and psychopathy
  • 00:00:53
    involve
  • 00:00:54
    choices whereas borderline personality
  • 00:00:58
    disorder is basically
  • 00:01:01
    hereditary in psychopathy there's a
  • 00:01:03
    genetic component of course but the
  • 00:01:05
    psychopath's actions as well as the
  • 00:01:07
    narcissist actions I usually determined
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    on the Fly dayto day and involve
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    decision
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    making my name is s vakin and I'm the
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    author of malignant self- love
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    narcissism Revisited the first book ever
  • 00:01:22
    on narcissistic abuse I'm also a
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    professor of Clinical Psychology in
  • 00:01:27
    several
  • 00:01:28
    universities today we're going going to
  • 00:01:30
    discuss the emotional investment of
  • 00:01:33
    narcissists and psychopaths in their
  • 00:01:36
    disorders this is known as cathexis the
  • 00:01:39
    connection the love affair between
  • 00:01:42
    narcissists and Psychopaths and their
  • 00:01:44
    narcissism and psychopathy
  • 00:01:52
    respectively cluster be personality
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    disorders involve A disruption in the
  • 00:01:57
    formation of a functional self
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    used to be called ego call it anything
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    you you wish this core identity which is
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    supposed supposedly immutable this
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    Essence that is who we are the formation
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    the creation the constellation and the
  • 00:02:14
    integration of this nucleus is disrupted
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    in early childhood now in all these
  • 00:02:21
    cases probably there is a genetic
  • 00:02:23
    predisposition not all children who are
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    exposed to abuse become narcissist
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    codependence borderline Psychopaths etc
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    etc but in the vast majority of cases
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    there is a background of adverse
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    childhood experiences AC is so we know
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    there's some kind of connection between
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    trauma and abuse in early
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    childhood other adverse circumstances
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    adversity generally and the emergence of
  • 00:02:52
    personality disorders later in life the
  • 00:02:55
    mistake that self-styled experts make is
  • 00:02:58
    they consider p pampering and spoiling
  • 00:03:01
    is the opposite of adversity but
  • 00:03:04
    actually pampering and spoiling can be
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    honorous it's very difficult to grow up
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    in an environment with overprotective
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    parents who isolate you from reality and
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    from your peers breach your boundaries
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    merge with you treat you as an extension
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    and impose on you their wishes fantasies
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    dreams and
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    expectations possibly this is the worst
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    form of abuse parentifying
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    instrumentalizing objectifying the
  • 00:03:33
    child and yet when narcissists and
  • 00:03:36
    Psychopaths grow up when they supposedly
  • 00:03:39
    become adults which they never do they
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    remain stuck
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    developmentally uh in early childhood
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    there what used to be called Arrested
  • 00:03:48
    Development so when they grow
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    up they somehow develop an
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    ideology a kind of religion around their
  • 00:03:59
    disorder
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    they elevate glamorize and glorify their
  • 00:04:04
    disorders they convert people to the
  • 00:04:07
    cause they become
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    missionary they brag and boast and
  • 00:04:12
    Swagger when it comes to their disorders
  • 00:04:15
    they regard their disorders as gifts and
  • 00:04:18
    endowments something bestowed upon them
  • 00:04:20
    by a benevolent universe or a loving
  • 00:04:24
    God transforming them in the process
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    into Godlike creatures with the
  • 00:04:30
    Perfection of a
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    Divinity and this is the background to
  • 00:04:35
    the emotional connection attachment and
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    bonding between the narcissist and his
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    narcissism the psychopath and his
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    psychopathy it is actually the only time
  • 00:04:47
    narcissists and Psychopaths display
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    attachment and
  • 00:04:52
    bonding why is that because it's
  • 00:04:56
    safe Early Childhood abuse and Trauma
  • 00:05:01
    have severe impacts one of them is known
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    as object
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    inconstancy the disbelief and distrust
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    in other people people are going to
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    betray you they're going to abandon you
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    they're going to hurt you this is object
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    in constancy or an extension of object
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    in
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    constancy similarly this this generates
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    separation in security abandonment
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    anxiety but not only separation
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    insecurity and abandonment anxiety for
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    from any specific individual related to
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    any specific individual it's not only
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    about intimate Partners or friends or
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    spouses or what have you it is a general
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    feeling that the world might abandon you
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    at any minute that you may find yourself
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    solipsistically floating a drift in a
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    hostile space in an inferno of your own
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    making perhaps but still an
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    Inferno and it is this anticipatory
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    anxiety this perception that something
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    really bad is going to happen this
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    catastrophizing in effect that gives
  • 00:06:09
    rise to the anxiety that underlies both
  • 00:06:11
    psychopathy and narcissism and to the
  • 00:06:14
    shame of being unable to cope with these
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    predicaments
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    efficaciously starting in early
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    childhood and so when you review this
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    psychodynamic landscape you realize that
  • 00:06:29
    psychopathy and narcissism are
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    compensatory they compensate for
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    something what do they compensate for a
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    lack of sense of
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    safety a lack of sense of stability a
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    lack of sense of predictability and
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    determinacy the world is chaotic and
  • 00:06:45
    random and
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    terrifying and so the disorders
  • 00:06:50
    narcissism and psychopathy
  • 00:06:53
    restore the sense of safety the
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    narcissist is
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    grandiose thereby
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    Godlike thereby
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    Untouchable invulnerable
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    impermeable no one can hurt the
  • 00:07:09
    narcissist because he's a
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    Divinity the psychopath's
  • 00:07:15
    Defiance demonstrates the psychopath
  • 00:07:20
    overriding omnipotence the defines is a
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    message to the world it's defiant
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    signaling saying you can't do anything
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    anything to me self-sufficient
  • 00:07:32
    sufficiency in both cases narcissism and
  • 00:07:34
    psychopathy also has to do with a
  • 00:07:37
    restoration of the sense of safety via
  • 00:07:41
    Independence I am not dependent on
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    anyone I don't need anyone I can survive
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    and subsist all on my own and that of
  • 00:07:50
    course makes you feel safe makes you
  • 00:07:52
    feel secure what narcissists and
  • 00:07:55
    Psychopaths do they convert their
  • 00:07:58
    disorders into
  • 00:08:00
    aat artificial secure
  • 00:08:03
    bases their parents fail to provide a
  • 00:08:07
    secure base in a variety of ways and so
  • 00:08:11
    these children grow up becoming their
  • 00:08:13
    own secure
  • 00:08:15
    bases via the mechanism of the false
  • 00:08:18
    self in narcis in narcissism the false
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    self is a kind of Godlike imaginary
  • 00:08:23
    friend and becomes a secure base and in
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    the case of the psychopath a combination
  • 00:08:29
    of Defiance recklessness and
  • 00:08:31
    impulsivity which cons which provide a
  • 00:08:35
    shell or a
  • 00:08:37
    firewall
  • 00:08:38
    safeguarding uh the
  • 00:08:41
    psychopath protecting the psychopath
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    this protective layer and so this of
  • 00:08:46
    course if you are omnipotent if you're
  • 00:08:49
    Godlike if you can afford to be defined
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    if you're self-sufficient totally
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    independent don't need anyone if you are
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    perfect if you're perfect entity you
  • 00:08:59
    could could feel safe you could feel
  • 00:09:01
    secure everything will be okay it's a
  • 00:09:04
    form of self soothing the narcissist and
  • 00:09:07
    psychopath disorders are compensatory
  • 00:09:12
    self-
  • 00:09:13
    soothing it's a way of telling yourself
  • 00:09:17
    everything is going to be fine because
  • 00:09:19
    of who I am everything is going to be
  • 00:09:21
    fine because I am so Supreme I am so
  • 00:09:25
    elevated superiority
  • 00:09:28
    guarantees not only the ability to avoid
  • 00:09:33
    the adverse consequences of one's
  • 00:09:35
    actions because as a superior being
  • 00:09:38
    you're exempt and you're entitled but
  • 00:09:41
    superiority also guarantees submission
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    submission of other people which renders
  • 00:09:47
    you
  • 00:09:49
    invulnerable when other people submit to
  • 00:09:52
    you AAS when everyone submits to you
  • 00:09:55
    because they recognize your Supremacy
  • 00:09:58
    your superiority your
  • 00:10:01
    elevation there's a kind of hierarchy
  • 00:10:03
    instant hierarchy that is formed at
  • 00:10:05
    least in the narcissist mind and the
  • 00:10:07
    psychopath mind of course there's a kind
  • 00:10:09
    of instant hierarchy where the
  • 00:10:11
    narcissist and psychopaths are so so
  • 00:10:15
    above the Madding
  • 00:10:18
    Crowd they are so removed and
  • 00:10:21
    distanced from the ho pooy the great
  • 00:10:24
    unwashed the masses which they hold in
  • 00:10:27
    contempt that actually they become
  • 00:10:30
    Untouchable if you're floating so if
  • 00:10:34
    you're floating well above no one can
  • 00:10:37
    reach
  • 00:10:37
    you
  • 00:10:40
    superiority is the underlying facet of
  • 00:10:44
    the sense the artificial sense of Safety
  • 00:10:46
    and Security generated by psychopathy
  • 00:10:50
    and
  • 00:10:52
    narcissism and that is why narcissists
  • 00:10:54
    and psychopaths are often there's often
  • 00:10:56
    a confusion as to who is a narcissist
  • 00:10:58
    and who is a psychopath and self-styled
  • 00:11:00
    experts get it wrong as usually and they
  • 00:11:02
    say that all Psychopaths anares which is
  • 00:11:04
    nonsense of course all I mean many
  • 00:11:07
    Psychopaths and all narcissist are
  • 00:11:10
    grandios and grandiosity is a defense
  • 00:11:14
    mechanism it's a it's
  • 00:11:16
    compensatory it's a cognitive
  • 00:11:19
    distortions which renders reality far
  • 00:11:21
    more habitable and acceptable and
  • 00:11:24
    tolerable and bearable and
  • 00:11:26
    non-threatening that's the key Point non
  • 00:11:29
    threatening fantasy insulates the
  • 00:11:33
    narcissist and to a large extent the
  • 00:11:35
    psychopath from reality because reality
  • 00:11:37
    is perceived as dangerous as hostile as
  • 00:11:41
    out to get you there is paranoid
  • 00:11:45
    ideation there's a paranoid
  • 00:11:47
    core uh which infuses narcissism and
  • 00:11:51
    psychopathy Imus it with hypervigilance
  • 00:11:56
    suspiciousness catastrophizing
  • 00:11:59
    assumptions about human nature which is
  • 00:12:02
    bad Mal malevolence conspiracies and so
  • 00:12:05
    on so forth conspiracism
  • 00:12:07
    so fantasy is actually a defense against
  • 00:12:12
    internal paranoid ideation the paranoid
  • 00:12:16
    core now I've said many times in many
  • 00:12:19
    videos that paranoia paranoid ideation
  • 00:12:23
    is nothing but another form of
  • 00:12:26
    narcissism because the paranoid keeps
  • 00:12:29
    believing keeps convincing himself
  • 00:12:31
    firmly that is important that is at the
  • 00:12:34
    center of things that is the the focal
  • 00:12:39
    point of conspiracies that everyone
  • 00:12:43
    around him is interested in him and and
  • 00:12:46
    so on so forth so paranoia is is about
  • 00:12:49
    placing yourself at the center of
  • 00:12:53
    Affairs and so it is a grandio defense
  • 00:12:57
    it is a kind of fantasy defending
  • 00:13:00
    against reality where perhaps you're
  • 00:13:02
    much less conspicuous and much less
  • 00:13:06
    important than you consider yourself to
  • 00:13:10
    be both narcissism and psychopathy are
  • 00:13:15
    compensatory and being compensatory
  • 00:13:18
    they're goal
  • 00:13:19
    oriented they yield outcomes conducive
  • 00:13:23
    to
  • 00:13:24
    survival that's why goal
  • 00:13:27
    orientation is per belied by the
  • 00:13:29
    psychopath and to some extent the naris
  • 00:13:32
    is a form of selfefficacy
  • 00:13:34
    the psychopath is emotionally invested
  • 00:13:37
    in obtaining goals and no I'm not
  • 00:13:39
    talking about life goals you know I'm
  • 00:13:42
    going to study then I'm going to have a
  • 00:13:44
    job then I'm going to have a family not
  • 00:13:46
    this kind of goals the psychopath goals
  • 00:13:48
    are
  • 00:13:49
    shortterm and they are much more limited
  • 00:13:53
    much more minimal I want to have sex I
  • 00:13:55
    want to steal this person's money etc
  • 00:13:58
    etc this the are Psychopathic goals The
  • 00:14:01
    Narcissist only goal exclusive goal is
  • 00:14:04
    narcissistic Supply attention in other
  • 00:14:06
    words so they're both goal oriented but
  • 00:14:10
    they Mis label misidentify
  • 00:14:15
    misunderstand goal orientation for
  • 00:14:17
    self-efficacy actually narcissist and
  • 00:14:19
    psychopaths are not self-efficacious and
  • 00:14:22
    yet consider themselves to be of to be
  • 00:14:26
    of superior performance they think they
  • 00:14:29
    are much better at doing things
  • 00:14:32
    accomplishing aims and setting goals and
  • 00:14:35
    pursuing them much better than all other
  • 00:14:38
    people that's why they they hold
  • 00:14:40
    everyone around them even colleagues and
  • 00:14:42
    bosses and so they hold everyone in
  • 00:14:43
    contempt because they are so vastly so
  • 00:14:47
    vastly uh improved so vastly
  • 00:14:51
    Superior go
  • 00:14:53
    orentation does yield
  • 00:14:56
    outcomes some of these outcomes are
  • 00:14:59
    conducive to survival but ironically in
  • 00:15:01
    the case of psychopath narcissis many of
  • 00:15:03
    the outcomes are detrimental
  • 00:15:07
    self-defeating and self-destructive and
  • 00:15:08
    yet the psychopath narcissist believe
  • 00:15:13
    that they are optimizing machines they
  • 00:15:16
    are perfect at obtaining goals and all
  • 00:15:19
    these goals add add to their value to
  • 00:15:23
    the value to their value add to their
  • 00:15:26
    resume add to their survival prospects
  • 00:15:30
    add to their social acceptability and
  • 00:15:34
    attractiveness add they regard the
  • 00:15:38
    attainment and accomplishment of goals
  • 00:15:41
    as additive as something which augments
  • 00:15:45
    their Aura and their Godlike
  • 00:15:48
    propensities and properties omnipotence
  • 00:15:50
    omnicient and so you see the psychopath
  • 00:15:54
    and
  • 00:15:55
    narcissist are invested emotionally in
  • 00:15:58
    their disorder ERS because they have
  • 00:16:00
    nothing
  • 00:16:01
    else there's nothing there except the
  • 00:16:04
    disorder I'm often being I'm often
  • 00:16:07
    criticized
  • 00:16:08
    for uh equating the disorder with the
  • 00:16:13
    disordered but take away the narcissism
  • 00:16:15
    from the narcissist and there's nothing
  • 00:16:17
    left but an empty black hole as numerous
  • 00:16:21
    Scholars have observed take away the
  • 00:16:23
    psychopathy from the psychopath and you
  • 00:16:25
    see a subdued shell of a person reduced
  • 00:16:29
    to nothingness I've seen them in
  • 00:16:32
    prison so if you take away the disorders
  • 00:16:35
    what's left nothing that these disorders
  • 00:16:37
    are
  • 00:16:38
    narratives these disorders are the glue
  • 00:16:42
    that holds the various fictional strands
  • 00:16:45
    of narcissism and psychopathy
  • 00:16:48
    together and so it is understandable
  • 00:16:51
    that when you have nothing but your
  • 00:16:53
    disorder you would be attached to it you
  • 00:16:55
    would bond with it you would trust it to
  • 00:16:58
    lead you guide you you would you would
  • 00:17:01
    invest everything in it you would commit
  • 00:17:03
    to it you would you would develop it you
  • 00:17:05
    would augment it you would worship it
  • 00:17:08
    you would cherish it you would you would
  • 00:17:10
    try to export it to others you would try
  • 00:17:12
    to convince induct others into your cult
  • 00:17:16
    and sect it's all these are all
  • 00:17:18
    understandable behaviors when we begin
  • 00:17:21
    to
  • 00:17:22
    grasp that there the person that used to
  • 00:17:27
    exist in early childhood is is gone
  • 00:17:30
    forever bad parenting in early childhood
  • 00:17:35
    has
  • 00:17:36
    erased erased the
  • 00:17:39
    child and left behind an emptiness an
  • 00:17:44
    absence
  • 00:17:46
    masquerading as a divine
  • 00:17:48
    presence the divine presence which the
  • 00:17:51
    narcissist and psychopath ultimately
  • 00:17:55
    worship
  • 00:18:00
    I'm sagin I'm the author of malignant
  • 00:18:02
    self-love narcissism
  • 00:18:05
    Revisited some narcissists get better
  • 00:18:08
    they modify their behavior they become
  • 00:18:11
    more socially acceptable and less
  • 00:18:13
    abrasive but no narcissist heals no
  • 00:18:18
    narcissist gets
  • 00:18:20
    well the reason is the narcissist
  • 00:18:23
    enormous lifelong Irreplaceable and
  • 00:18:27
    indispensable and emotional investment
  • 00:18:30
    in his own
  • 00:18:32
    disorder narcissistic personality
  • 00:18:34
    disorder serves two critical functions
  • 00:18:37
    which together maintain the precariously
  • 00:18:41
    balanced house of cards that we call the
  • 00:18:44
    narcissist
  • 00:18:46
    personality The Narcissist disorder
  • 00:18:49
    endows him with a sense with a sense of
  • 00:18:52
    uniqueness of being special and it
  • 00:18:55
    provides him with a rational explanation
  • 00:18:58
    for his misconduct with an
  • 00:19:01
    alibi most narcissists reject the notion
  • 00:19:05
    or the diagnosis that they are mentally
  • 00:19:07
    ill or
  • 00:19:09
    disturbed absent powers of introspection
  • 00:19:12
    a total lack of self-awareness are part
  • 00:19:14
    and parcel of narcissistic personality
  • 00:19:17
    disorder pathological narcissism is
  • 00:19:20
    founded upon alloplastic defenses The
  • 00:19:24
    Firm conviction that the world or others
  • 00:19:27
    are to blame for one Behavior defeats
  • 00:19:30
    failures and
  • 00:19:32
    frailties the narcissist firmly believes
  • 00:19:35
    that people around him should be held
  • 00:19:38
    responsible and accountable for his
  • 00:19:40
    reactions for having triggered
  • 00:19:43
    them with such a state of mind so firmly
  • 00:19:46
    entrenched the narcissist is incapable
  • 00:19:49
    of transformation or even of admitting
  • 00:19:52
    that something is wrong with
  • 00:19:54
    him but that is not to say that the
  • 00:19:56
    narcissist does not experience his
  • 00:19:58
    disorder he does but he reinterprets
  • 00:20:02
    this experience he regards his
  • 00:20:05
    dysfunctional behaviors socially
  • 00:20:07
    sexually emotionally and mentally as
  • 00:20:10
    conclusive and IR irrefutable proof of
  • 00:20:14
    his superiority Brilliance distinction
  • 00:20:17
    tress might or
  • 00:20:20
    success rudness to others for instance
  • 00:20:23
    is reinterpreted as decisiveness and
  • 00:20:26
    efficiency or even brutal
  • 00:20:29
    honesty abusive behaviors are cast as
  • 00:20:34
    educational tough love sexual absence as
  • 00:20:38
    proof of preoccupation with higher
  • 00:20:41
    functions The Narcissist rage is always
  • 00:20:44
    just it's always a reaction to Injustice
  • 00:20:47
    or to being misunderstood by
  • 00:20:49
    intellectual
  • 00:20:50
    midgets thus paradoxically the disorder
  • 00:20:54
    becomes an integral and Inseparable part
  • 00:20:57
    of the narcissist inflated self-esteem
  • 00:21:00
    and vacuous grandio fantasies narcissist
  • 00:21:04
    false self the pivot of his pathological
  • 00:21:07
    narcissism is a self-reinforcing
  • 00:21:10
    mechanism The Narcissist thinks that he
  • 00:21:13
    is unique because he has a false self
  • 00:21:16
    his false self is the center of his
  • 00:21:20
    specialness any therapeutic attack on
  • 00:21:23
    the integrity and functioning of the
  • 00:21:25
    false self constitutes a threat to The
  • 00:21:28
    Narcissist ability to regulate his
  • 00:21:31
    wildly fluctuating sense of self-worth
  • 00:21:34
    and an effort to reduce him to other
  • 00:21:37
    people's mundane pedestrian mediocre
  • 00:21:41
    existence the few narcissist that are
  • 00:21:44
    willing to admit that something is
  • 00:21:45
    terribly wrong with them displace their
  • 00:21:48
    alloplastic defenses instead of blaming
  • 00:21:50
    the world blaming other people or
  • 00:21:53
    circumstances beyond their control they
  • 00:21:55
    now blame their disease their disorder
  • 00:21:59
    becomes a catchall universal explanation
  • 00:22:02
    for everything that is wrong in their
  • 00:22:04
    lives and for every derided indefensible
  • 00:22:07
    and inexcusable
  • 00:22:09
    Behavior their narcissism becomes a
  • 00:22:12
    license to kill a liberating Force which
  • 00:22:15
    sets them outside human rules and codes
  • 00:22:18
    of
  • 00:22:19
    conduct such freedom is so intoxicating
  • 00:22:23
    and so empowering that it is difficult
  • 00:22:26
    to give up narcissist is emotionally
  • 00:22:29
    attached to only one thing his
  • 00:22:33
    narcissistic personality disorder The
  • 00:22:35
    Narcissist loves his disorder desires
  • 00:22:39
    his disease passionately cultivates his
  • 00:22:43
    illness tenderly he's proud of its
  • 00:22:48
    achievements his emotions are
  • 00:22:51
    misdirected when normal people love
  • 00:22:54
    others and empathize with them the
  • 00:22:56
    narcissist loves his false self and
  • 00:22:59
    identifies with it to the exclusion of
  • 00:23:02
    all else and all others including his
  • 00:23:06
    truser
Tags
  • Narcissism
  • Psychopathy
  • BPD
  • Personality Disorders
  • Early Childhood Trauma
  • Emotional Investment
  • Compensatory Mechanisms
  • Self-identity
  • Fantasy Defense
  • Insecurity