TDK CNB Offline Cut 2

00:31:50
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Muq6GIZ1ghA

Summary

TLDR这段对话深入探讨了毒品使用、社会影响和个人选择之间的复杂关系。参与者们分享了个人经历，讨论了在社交媒体和现实生活中，毒品使用的态度变化，以及如何在朋友之间进行有效的沟通和干预。他们强调了理解对方的感受和背景的重要性，认为在呼叫他人时，出发点应是关心而非自我满足。此外，参与者们还讨论了现代社会中个人自由与社会责任之间的平衡。

Takeaways

  • 🧠 个人选择与社会影响密切相关。
  • 💬 有效沟通需要理解对方的背景。
  • 🚫 社交媒体可能使毒品使用看起来正常化。
  • ⚖️ 个人自由与社会责任之间需要平衡。
  • 🤝 关心他人时应以他们的感受为出发点。
  • 📉 早期干预可能减少长期伤害。
  • 🌍 社会对毒品的态度正在变化。
  • 🗣️ 讨论毒品时需谨慎，避免攻击性。
  • 👥 朋友之间的支持与干预至关重要。
  • 🔍 了解毒品使用的潜在风险。

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    在视频的开头，讨论了一个人因吸食食用大麻而在开车时的危险行为，随后引出了对毒品的讨论，强调了在社交媒体和环境影响下，个人如何被影响的主题。

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    接着，谈到了与新毒品宣传活动的合作，强调了与传统毒品宣传的不同之处，特别是目标受众的选择，旨在引导人们思考自己的选择和影响。

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    讨论了在社交场合中，如何平衡对他人感受的敏感性与必要的批评，尤其是在面对朋友的错误行为时，如何有效地进行沟通。

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    接下来，分享了个人经历，讲述了在面对朋友吸毒时的犹豫，以及如何在社交压力下选择不去干预，反映了对个人选择和社会期望的矛盾。

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    视频中提到了一些关于父母教育和社会对青少年行为的看法，强调了在不同的育儿风格中，如何处理对孩子行为的批评和引导。

  • 00:25:00 - 00:31:50

    最后，讨论了在日常生活中，如何有效地指出他人的错误，强调了沟通方式的重要性，以及在何种情况下应该站出来发声，呼吁社会对批评的接受度。

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Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • 这段对话的主要主题是什么？

    主要讨论毒品使用、社会影响和个人选择的复杂性，以及如何在朋友之间进行有效沟通和干预。

  • 参与者们对毒品的看法是什么？

    他们认为毒品使用在社会上变得越来越正常化，但也意识到这可能带来的潜在危险。

  • 如何有效地呼叫他人？

    需要理解对方的感受和背景，确保呼叫的出发点是关心而非自我满足。

  • 社交媒体对毒品使用的影响是什么？

    社交媒体可能会影响人们对毒品的看法，使其看起来更为正常化。

  • 参与者们如何看待个人自由与社会责任的关系？

    他们认为在享受个人自由的同时，也需要对社会和他人负责。

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  • 00:00:00
    So they managed to get edibles. He just
  • 00:00:01
    popped two and then he drive it. H he's
  • 00:00:03
    a driver. I was parked in my car park
  • 00:00:05
    late at night. This random person walked
  • 00:00:07
    up to me then just stand in front of my
  • 00:00:08
    car. Turn off your engine. Are we coming
  • 00:00:11
    from us point of view, the caller out or
  • 00:00:13
    do we come from the point of view of the
  • 00:00:14
    person that we're trying to call out?
  • 00:00:16
    Leave people's space to do it on their
  • 00:00:18
    own terms. What I'm not okay with is
  • 00:00:19
    that we don't even point out.
  • 00:00:30
    So a few weeks ago, we actually heard
  • 00:00:32
    from CNB to collab on their latest
  • 00:00:34
    campaign which takes a very unique
  • 00:00:36
    approach towards this fight against
  • 00:00:38
    drugs. Okay, I I'll explain it to you a
  • 00:00:39
    little bit more. Okay, shortly. But
  • 00:00:41
    right to be a bit meta for the audience
  • 00:00:43
    out there, this brief actually basically
  • 00:00:45
    sparked a conversation amongst us I
  • 00:00:46
    think during lunch time or whatever,
  • 00:00:47
    right? Then John brought up this he
  • 00:00:49
    bring up this thing about like
  • 00:00:50
    liberization of the world and how we
  • 00:00:53
    change the way we see things or that and
  • 00:00:55
    whether like we are better or worse off
  • 00:00:56
    for it. Yeah. So we thought that it'd be
  • 00:00:58
    very interesting to have this
  • 00:00:59
    conversation here. It's true and not
  • 00:01:01
    about drugs. No drugs will come. Yeah.
  • 00:01:05
    The campaign is about uninfluencing.
  • 00:01:07
    Okay. Opposite influencing. And thanks
  • 00:01:10
    for And basically right is asking people
  • 00:01:12
    to figure out whether they can exercise
  • 00:01:13
    the ability to process information to
  • 00:01:16
    decide whether it actually resonates
  • 00:01:18
    with them or not because now social
  • 00:01:20
    media right with like all your feedback
  • 00:01:22
    loops and this kind of nonsense the
  • 00:01:23
    moment you're trapped in like a rabbit
  • 00:01:24
    hole right then that becomes like in
  • 00:01:27
    some ways your reality right one thing I
  • 00:01:28
    found very interesting cuz like of
  • 00:01:30
    course as so actually we're lifting the
  • 00:01:31
    lead on quite a lot of things right when
  • 00:01:32
    these briefs come in we actually all get
  • 00:01:34
    to see it first and I think one thing
  • 00:01:35
    that was very interesting to me was the
  • 00:01:36
    target audience because the whole
  • 00:01:38
    purpose of this was to actually be quite
  • 00:01:40
    a departure from other drug campaigns.
  • 00:01:41
    Drug campaigns usually you bring someone
  • 00:01:43
    who's either someone who's been
  • 00:01:44
    convicted before, a former drug addict
  • 00:01:46
    to explain why this was the worst thing
  • 00:01:47
    that ever happened to them, right? And
  • 00:01:48
    that usually speaks to a lot of people
  • 00:01:50
    who maybe thought of trying drugs and if
  • 00:01:52
    they were to answer the survey and say,
  • 00:01:53
    "Do you want to try drugs?" and say yes.
  • 00:01:55
    Like, okay, that speaks to them. But one
  • 00:01:56
    thing that was very interesting is
  • 00:01:57
    actually we're trying to speak to people
  • 00:01:58
    who actually say no at this service
  • 00:02:00
    because what usually happens is that
  • 00:02:02
    people who end up trying drugs don't
  • 00:02:04
    actually think that they want to try
  • 00:02:05
    drugs. They just happen to be in
  • 00:02:06
    situations that you just go like, "Okay,
  • 00:02:08
    why not?" And so you don't actually
  • 00:02:10
    realize it until you're in that moment.
  • 00:02:12
    Which is why the uninfluencing part is
  • 00:02:13
    so important. It's do you actually have
  • 00:02:15
    that agency to decide for yourself or
  • 00:02:17
    are you being actually somewhat
  • 00:02:19
    influenced uninfluenced by people not
  • 00:02:22
    saying anything by your environment. So
  • 00:02:23
    that that was what was very intriguing
  • 00:02:25
    to me. And so actually John segue on the
  • 00:02:27
    whole idea of liberalization and
  • 00:02:29
    actually does it change the way we see
  • 00:02:30
    the world actually makes a lot of sense
  • 00:02:31
    because this speaks to how the whole
  • 00:02:33
    world is changing and how we are making
  • 00:02:35
    our decisions for our lives.
  • 00:02:37
    So yes, this actually speaks to to to
  • 00:02:39
    most of us I would think. Well, sir,
  • 00:02:41
    thank you. Thank you. No, I think I
  • 00:02:44
    think it's worth noting that like often
  • 00:02:45
    times whenever we sometimes do these
  • 00:02:47
    like these collaborations, people don't
  • 00:02:48
    actually see the brief and they don't
  • 00:02:50
    actually know like sometimes the purpose
  • 00:02:51
    behind it. And I thought it was actually
  • 00:02:52
    quite useful for them to know why we're
  • 00:02:53
    having this conversation. This is the
  • 00:02:55
    weirdest collaboration content we've
  • 00:02:57
    ever done. One of the conversations
  • 00:02:59
    having one of our colleagues, right, was
  • 00:03:00
    about feelings. Like the first thing
  • 00:03:02
    that came to came to mind for me
  • 00:03:03
    validating your feelings versus like
  • 00:03:06
    being able to just say no like your
  • 00:03:08
    feelings are not that important. Yeah.
  • 00:03:09
    Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you going to bring
  • 00:03:11
    cuz no one's going to do it. Then we
  • 00:03:13
    will continue bring do you be sensitive
  • 00:03:16
    to somebody's feelings and just like
  • 00:03:17
    constantly like okay let me validate how
  • 00:03:19
    you feel. It's important to validate all
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    kind of thing and then just let that
  • 00:03:22
    snowball. I think I think I good at
  • 00:03:23
    validating people. No you are. You're so
  • 00:03:25
    good at it. You're too good at it. No
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    but it's true. If they said then like
  • 00:03:28
    okay you're such an enabler. I don't
  • 00:03:30
    know, but I don't know if it's
  • 00:03:31
    detrimental cuz I feel like some people
  • 00:03:33
    need to be heard, right? And then there
  • 00:03:34
    are people like John who are the like
  • 00:03:37
    attack a bit like you know it. Yeah.
  • 00:03:40
    Like you are the call person and I'm the
  • 00:03:42
    validator. So I feel like people do need
  • 00:03:45
    Yeah. But what you never validate when I
  • 00:03:47
    attack people? Yeah. You never validate
  • 00:03:49
    me. Is my feeling not important to you?
  • 00:03:50
    Oh, you attack him instead. No, I got
  • 00:03:52
    some try to, you know, argue with you a
  • 00:03:54
    bit, but then you raise your voice then.
  • 00:03:56
    Oh, what nonsense I feel like I
  • 00:03:59
    don't want to talk to you. Okay. I I
  • 00:04:01
    think you need to clarify what raise
  • 00:04:02
    your voice. Please. No. I feel like
  • 00:04:03
    you're very strong in your conviction.
  • 00:04:05
    Like you truly believe your way is
  • 00:04:07
    right. So nothing I say or do right will
  • 00:04:09
    really change your mind. That's not
  • 00:04:10
    true. Okay. You see in my opinion so
  • 00:04:12
    this one right is very hard. So in times
  • 00:04:13
    like this right I just have to take it.
  • 00:04:15
    This is the
  • 00:04:17
    voice. Then okay that's fine. In time
  • 00:04:20
    like this I just have to take it because
  • 00:04:21
    it's just a difference of opinion. But
  • 00:04:22
    at the end of the day what if your
  • 00:04:23
    argument is weak? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What
  • 00:04:25
    if your argument is weak but in your
  • 00:04:27
    head right you have framed a picture
  • 00:04:29
    that you have made up your mind you are
  • 00:04:31
    very strong will nothing I can say will
  • 00:04:33
    ever change your mind yeah that's the
  • 00:04:35
    way you see me but what if your argument
  • 00:04:37
    is just weak but I don't get to call you
  • 00:04:39
    out that's exactly the point of this
  • 00:04:42
    conversation I think because I feel like
  • 00:04:44
    in the past when your friend hey you
  • 00:04:46
    gain weight then ah irritating to hear
  • 00:04:48
    then the second person you gain weight
  • 00:04:49
    then irritating to hear then by the
  • 00:04:51
    third one you get you snap ready but
  • 00:04:52
    then you start dieting you know But now
  • 00:04:55
    you don't hear it, you know, yourself
  • 00:04:58
    because because it gets labeled as like,
  • 00:04:59
    oh, fetch. I mean, you can't talk about
  • 00:05:01
    people's weight now, which I think is
  • 00:05:02
    actually going down a very dangerous
  • 00:05:03
    line. I feel like to a certain extent if
  • 00:05:05
    you if I'm doing something about it and
  • 00:05:07
    I know then then I feel like don't but I
  • 00:05:10
    feel like for example, right, when you
  • 00:05:12
    take a and then that guy is telling you
  • 00:05:13
    that, you know, it's the government's
  • 00:05:15
    fault that he's poor, for example. Yeah.
  • 00:05:17
    Yeah. Or like he got certain policies
  • 00:05:20
    wrong completely off one. And it's not
  • 00:05:22
    about I don't I mean obviously I don't
  • 00:05:23
    care how he votes right but he gets
  • 00:05:26
    something completely wrong such that he
  • 00:05:27
    can speak himself into an entire rage or
  • 00:05:30
    that the whole world is just designed to
  • 00:05:32
    destroy him or and I feel like which is
  • 00:05:35
    the part do I enable I can just
  • 00:05:38
    say your life not easy and then he
  • 00:05:41
    continue talking himself into a rage
  • 00:05:45
    or call him out but but his life your
  • 00:05:48
    life is in but not really call him out
  • 00:05:50
    in a sense but help me understand
  • 00:05:51
    actually it's not it's not like that
  • 00:05:53
    you're seeing it kind of wrong
  • 00:05:54
    especially if if it's wrong if it's not
  • 00:05:56
    wrong then obviously I will just yeah so
  • 00:05:59
    that is the part that really irks me
  • 00:06:01
    because now also like like in a private
  • 00:06:04
    conversation we have there's a weird
  • 00:06:05
    power all dynamics then the cameras are
  • 00:06:06
    here then I also don't want to be like
  • 00:06:08
    oh the boss that raised his voice
  • 00:06:10
    whenever he feels like he's being
  • 00:06:11
    challenged so I'm like oh then what do I
  • 00:06:12
    do I just keep quiet I just like you're
  • 00:06:15
    right so you feel you cannot speak your
  • 00:06:16
    mind I try to do it anyway but I have to
  • 00:06:19
    outweigh and see what's the Like what is
  • 00:06:21
    the point? Yeah. So there's a lot of
  • 00:06:23
    battles I walk away from now. So I
  • 00:06:24
    actually didn't win a couple of times.
  • 00:06:26
    No, you win. You win.
  • 00:06:30
    But I I definitely feel it too and I
  • 00:06:32
    feel like I catch myself sometimes being
  • 00:06:33
    overly enabling but for very very
  • 00:06:36
    selfish reasons which is that in the
  • 00:06:38
    past I may have called out someone
  • 00:06:39
    before or I may play devil advocate and
  • 00:06:41
    then I suddenly feel them like
  • 00:06:42
    distancing themselves from me because
  • 00:06:44
    I'm not enabling the kind of lifestyle
  • 00:06:46
    they want. So like I think a lot of us
  • 00:06:48
    are now very attracted or or like yeah
  • 00:06:51
    we're attracted to echo chambers right
  • 00:06:53
    we're attracted to just people that
  • 00:06:54
    validate like how we feel and that's the
  • 00:06:56
    same for like social media as well and I
  • 00:06:58
    so I feel like whenever we hear someone
  • 00:07:00
    say something we don't hear suddenly oh
  • 00:07:02
    okay I just don't hang out with them so
  • 00:07:03
    often it could be it could be
  • 00:07:05
    subconscious but I feel like that
  • 00:07:06
    happens and so now I feel like I just
  • 00:07:08
    agree with everything so that I don't
  • 00:07:10
    lose my friends. The other aspect that I
  • 00:07:12
    feel this is very pertinent is actually
  • 00:07:13
    in the parenting world because there are
  • 00:07:14
    so many different parenting styles right
  • 00:07:16
    and in the end a lot of um what parents
  • 00:07:19
    adopt is just uh okay like you parent
  • 00:07:20
    your style I parent my style everything
  • 00:07:22
    is acceptable because we know how
  • 00:07:24
    difficult they're quite real right
  • 00:07:26
    actually cuz in the past you get one of
  • 00:07:28
    those you don't let the children let
  • 00:07:29
    them watch TV then it's very irritating
  • 00:07:30
    it's like you don't know my life exactly
  • 00:07:34
    but yeah at the same time like that kind
  • 00:07:35
    of wisdom slowly get passed down that
  • 00:07:36
    you you you're like no no it's okay
  • 00:07:38
    because I blah blah blah I know how to
  • 00:07:39
    manage but deep Now you'll be affected,
  • 00:07:41
    right? Then deep down the next time your
  • 00:07:42
    child grabs a phone, right? You're like,
  • 00:07:44
    we'll cut that time in half maybe for
  • 00:07:46
    example, which is like product good for
  • 00:07:47
    child. Okay, I everything is always in
  • 00:07:49
    two camps, right? But the two biggest
  • 00:07:51
    camp is really the you do you parents or
  • 00:07:53
    the I'm going to impose my way like to
  • 00:07:56
    everybody camp. And this right can be on
  • 00:07:58
    opposite spectrums also. Still have I
  • 00:08:00
    don't see this anymore have a lot. And
  • 00:08:01
    the most pertinent one, right, is if you
  • 00:08:03
    look at parenting content creators,
  • 00:08:05
    whenever they say something fairly
  • 00:08:06
    divisive, right, the comment section is
  • 00:08:09
    just full on debate like and they won't
  • 00:08:12
    even be talking about the content
  • 00:08:13
    anymore. It could just be one small
  • 00:08:14
    thing, right? And then someone will just
  • 00:08:15
    say no, this is completely the wrong
  • 00:08:17
    advice and then other people will be
  • 00:08:18
    like just leave her alone and then
  • 00:08:19
    someone actually don't leave her alone.
  • 00:08:21
    But the advice that person say is also
  • 00:08:22
    wrong. So then they just like everyone
  • 00:08:24
    just fighting. It's so difficult at the
  • 00:08:26
    end of day, right? You can type, you can
  • 00:08:27
    like feel like, "Oh my god, I want to
  • 00:08:28
    say all these things." And then the
  • 00:08:29
    easiest thing to do is just go, "Ah,
  • 00:08:31
    yeah, never mind." No. So, I've actually
  • 00:08:33
    personally felt like over the last maybe
  • 00:08:34
    like four, five years, right? I don't
  • 00:08:36
    know whether it's Tik Tok or what or you
  • 00:08:37
    grow in a different way, right? But I
  • 00:08:39
    feel like you adopted a very strong you
  • 00:08:40
    do you attitude. Me? Yeah. I challenge
  • 00:08:44
    you sometimes. Sorry if she raised her
  • 00:08:46
    voice. I apologize.
  • 00:08:49
    No, like sometime you say a movie like
  • 00:08:51
    why I won't be like you do you.
  • 00:08:55
    No, I feel like you don't challenge
  • 00:08:56
    yourself. You only tell you do you do
  • 00:08:58
    you. I say I don't know whether it's
  • 00:09:00
    because I'm older now, so people around
  • 00:09:02
    me don't really have much things to
  • 00:09:06
    fight about versus like let's say in my
  • 00:09:09
    20ies, right? Like when I was 18, my
  • 00:09:11
    friend stole something for the first
  • 00:09:14
    time. Then when I saw her steal
  • 00:09:16
    something, I didn't say anything cuz I I
  • 00:09:18
    wasn't close to her. Like I don't know
  • 00:09:19
    whether to call her out cuz we could get
  • 00:09:21
    in trouble. So I just like carry on with
  • 00:09:23
    the day. Then like a few months later,
  • 00:09:25
    we were overseas. We went shopping. Then
  • 00:09:27
    when we went back to the hotel, right?
  • 00:09:28
    We decided to like, "Oh, let's share our
  • 00:09:30
    loots." Then she pours
  • 00:09:32
    like we wanted like girl time. Then like
  • 00:09:34
    you know, I bought this. Then she pour
  • 00:09:35
    like a bag of like jewelry. Okay. It's
  • 00:09:38
    not the expensive kind, you know, the
  • 00:09:39
    fake ass jewelry on the bed. Let's call
  • 00:09:41
    Jayla. Jane, what the hell? Then she
  • 00:09:43
    like, "Yeah, look at this. So nice."
  • 00:09:44
    Right? Then I'm like, "Wait, do you you
  • 00:09:46
    bought all these things?" Cuz we are
  • 00:09:47
    quite broke. M thinking where she get
  • 00:09:49
    the money. Then she said, "No, I just
  • 00:09:50
    take before I call out." Right. I always
  • 00:09:52
    think I must find the reasoning first.
  • 00:09:54
    The John Bel John stole the bread cuz he
  • 00:09:56
    very hungry. Then he I asked her like
  • 00:09:58
    why she do this thing. Then she say oh
  • 00:10:00
    cuz it's very fun and exciting. Then I
  • 00:10:03
    in that moment I like know I need to
  • 00:10:04
    call out cuz she said it's fun and
  • 00:10:06
    exciting to steal and she's quite close
  • 00:10:08
    to me. I don't want her to like go down
  • 00:10:09
    the wrong road. So I told her like Jane
  • 00:10:12
    I'm telling you this cuz you're my
  • 00:10:13
    friend okay like I'm not like scolding
  • 00:10:16
    you or anything but I need to I feel
  • 00:10:17
    like you don't know the consequences of
  • 00:10:19
    your actions so I need to tell you this.
  • 00:10:20
    Wow. Yeah. So I give her this whole like
  • 00:10:22
    pet talk right about how does this
  • 00:10:24
    affect her and her family and friends.
  • 00:10:27
    Wow. I tell her, "Wow, how does it
  • 00:10:28
    affect her friends? We are overseas
  • 00:10:30
    together. So if she gets in trouble,
  • 00:10:32
    right, I have to go save her from the
  • 00:10:34
    police station. I don't know how to get
  • 00:10:35
    her home like what if she's like cuz we
  • 00:10:37
    overseas quite dangerous. I don't know
  • 00:10:39
    the legal system in the area, right? And
  • 00:10:41
    then like because we are on a kind of
  • 00:10:43
    like coming back from a school trip,
  • 00:10:45
    right? It will affect like maybe her
  • 00:10:47
    grades or like standard at school and
  • 00:10:49
    then we are all like complicit. You have
  • 00:10:51
    to give like I'm a witness in this
  • 00:10:53
    situation and then it will affect her
  • 00:10:54
    family cuz they'll feel very
  • 00:10:55
    disappointed like why she do this kind
  • 00:10:57
    of thing. Yeah. And then I told her like
  • 00:10:58
    honestly what you do after this is your
  • 00:11:01
    choice like I just need to let you know
  • 00:11:03
    what are the consequences so you don't
  • 00:11:05
    do this again. Then after a 3-hour talk
  • 00:11:07
    she say okay Alison I think I will never
  • 00:11:10
    steal again. Wow. I was like that's
  • 00:11:13
    right you this
  • 00:11:19
    I said that's right Jane you shouldn't
  • 00:11:20
    do this she does still but see I don't
  • 00:11:23
    say you do it but it's so it's so good
  • 00:11:26
    of her to take it that well. Yeah. No I
  • 00:11:29
    think because we are closer so I think
  • 00:11:31
    she accepts this speech I'm going to
  • 00:11:33
    give her. Yeah. But what but you noticed
  • 00:11:36
    this pattern before that already? Yes.
  • 00:11:38
    And I didn't say anything. That's why
  • 00:11:39
    cuz I thought what was holding you back
  • 00:11:41
    from saying something back before. Yeah.
  • 00:11:44
    I think the first time when she did it
  • 00:11:45
    right, I felt like we are not so close
  • 00:11:49
    like I'm not that close. I don't know
  • 00:11:51
    how to call out without sounding like
  • 00:11:52
    like a Like
  • 00:11:55
    obviously I I probably wouldn't know how
  • 00:11:58
    to do that as well. And she's still
  • 00:11:59
    already and we are like quite far away
  • 00:12:01
    from whatever place. Like what do I want
  • 00:12:03
    her to do? go back man and like admit
  • 00:12:05
    and then we all get in trouble for this.
  • 00:12:07
    But I also feel like that conversation
  • 00:12:08
    has a lot of legs to go sideways. Okay,
  • 00:12:11
    stop this. You think I don't know the
  • 00:12:13
    consequences? You you think I don't know
  • 00:12:14
    I can go to jail. Okay, relax. I didn't
  • 00:12:16
    get caught. Okay, okay, enough. You know
  • 00:12:18
    that that kind of don't preach to me.
  • 00:12:20
    Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got get caught, you
  • 00:12:22
    know. That's why I wait for the third
  • 00:12:23
    time. I think the third time, right, is
  • 00:12:25
    where I had the the courage to ask her
  • 00:12:30
    why. Cuz the first one I just ha maybe
  • 00:12:32
    this whole time she was stealing to
  • 00:12:33
    impress you. Yeah, cuz you haha. But did
  • 00:12:36
    you talk to your other friends about it?
  • 00:12:37
    Like are you all on the same page of
  • 00:12:39
    like actually I made a joke about it
  • 00:12:41
    like like AJ got stealing problem like
  • 00:12:45
    here like hey how got stealing problem
  • 00:12:48
    because as in mother who knows because
  • 00:12:49
    people who went and because actually she
  • 00:12:52
    never say she steal is I noticed hey why
  • 00:12:55
    got something new on her wrist say hey
  • 00:12:57
    what's that J then she like oh I take
  • 00:12:59
    just now like you take she like yeah I
  • 00:13:03
    just like okay damn control but she's
  • 00:13:06
    really good at it She done good. What
  • 00:13:08
    the? So, oh, I also told her during the
  • 00:13:10
    during the confrontation, Jane, next
  • 00:13:12
    time you want to go shopping, right, I
  • 00:13:14
    go with you to the changing room cuz I
  • 00:13:16
    know the changing room is where you get
  • 00:13:17
    the thoughts of putting it in your bag.
  • 00:13:19
    Oh my gosh. It's a literal addiction.
  • 00:13:21
    Yeah. She know it's wrong, right? But
  • 00:13:22
    she think she go to changing room. She
  • 00:13:24
    tell me I respect that because I don't
  • 00:13:26
    think I could like call someone out. At
  • 00:13:29
    some point in my life, I went on a trip
  • 00:13:30
    and it's not those meet every often
  • 00:13:32
    friends. is those meet once every two
  • 00:13:34
    years but the relationship is there kind
  • 00:13:36
    of friends right we take time to drive
  • 00:13:37
    cuz it's like two three hours per way
  • 00:13:40
    and then the friend say hey I bought
  • 00:13:44
    gummy you want so then the gummy is is
  • 00:13:46
    the the weed guy sorry what you call
  • 00:13:49
    list edibles yeah edibles yeah so I had
  • 00:13:52
    to search this up yeah
  • 00:13:54
    so so they managed to get edibles and
  • 00:13:56
    then he said you want then I say oh I
  • 00:13:58
    don't want and then he he just popped
  • 00:14:01
    two and then He drive it. Huh? He's a
  • 00:14:03
    driver. No, but the thing is that I've
  • 00:14:05
    known that when he's overseas, he got
  • 00:14:07
    micro do and he is fine. Honestly, he
  • 00:14:10
    just laughs a little bit more. Unwind as
  • 00:14:12
    you also know that in that sense while
  • 00:14:14
    marijuana is banned in Singapore, it's
  • 00:14:16
    many people overseas take it
  • 00:14:18
    recreationally. You don't lose control
  • 00:14:20
    of yourself in that sense or rather to
  • 00:14:21
    my understanding right and so when he
  • 00:14:23
    did that then I was driving. I feel like
  • 00:14:24
    the you do you went too far. Yeah. No,
  • 00:14:27
    but in the situation very hard cuz he's
  • 00:14:29
    driving m what if you have an
  • 00:14:30
    intervention then later he I don't know.
  • 00:14:33
    No before he take he can take first and
  • 00:14:36
    then there's a step before taking then
  • 00:14:38
    going to the front seat and then like
  • 00:14:39
    but the second between the like you want
  • 00:14:42
    and then put in the mouth like one
  • 00:14:43
    second. So you you you slap it out of
  • 00:14:45
    his hand. No, I could have I thought
  • 00:14:47
    like in my head I could have stopped it.
  • 00:14:48
    Yeah. No. Why you cannot just drive? But
  • 00:14:50
    I just ended a
  • 00:14:51
    shift. No, as in your to drugs then I
  • 00:14:55
    take your Yeah. The point here is
  • 00:14:57
    that why he prioritizing you calling
  • 00:14:59
    drugs. You didn't find it in you to call
  • 00:15:01
    him out when your life was literally in
  • 00:15:03
    his hand. No, because Okay, to be
  • 00:15:05
    honest, to be honest, in my head, he'll
  • 00:15:07
    probably be fine. Yeah. At this point,
  • 00:15:10
    because it's not like I've experimented.
  • 00:15:13
    I know how exactly he feels such that I
  • 00:15:14
    know it's not dangerous, right? It's
  • 00:15:16
    just I don't know why is. It just looks
  • 00:15:18
    fine. Like Joe Rogan smokes to you all
  • 00:15:19
    the time. He's like probably he's fine.
  • 00:15:20
    I don't know. No. Plus like I I feel and
  • 00:15:23
    it actually goes back to what Jono
  • 00:15:24
    mentioned at the start like this whole
  • 00:15:25
    liberalization thing, right? It almost
  • 00:15:26
    feels weird to call someone out for not
  • 00:15:28
    wanting to try drug. It feels I will
  • 00:15:30
    ruin the trip because I'm younger than
  • 00:15:32
    them. So that person knows knows more in
  • 00:15:33
    that sense. So when I'm younger than a
  • 00:15:36
    person, I feel like to me saying this
  • 00:15:38
    and have to climb on my high horse,
  • 00:15:39
    right? Yeah. Then I feel like it will
  • 00:15:42
    just throw off the whole trip. Do you
  • 00:15:43
    think that globally like other liberal
  • 00:15:46
    culture and countries out there right do
  • 00:15:48
    you think that they have kind of like
  • 00:15:49
    affected this our view towards like drug
  • 00:15:52
    abuse for sure I think so like it's
  • 00:15:53
    gotten to a point where the most you can
  • 00:15:56
    say is I won't I won't take it but you
  • 00:15:58
    cannot stop the whole group from doing
  • 00:16:00
    it you just to follow them along like
  • 00:16:01
    you and a group of friends go to like
  • 00:16:02
    Bangkok or whatever then yeah I think
  • 00:16:04
    it's mostly like maybe two two things
  • 00:16:06
    one is like maybe media but I don't want
  • 00:16:07
    to overplay the media part I think a lot
  • 00:16:09
    of it also could be because we have
  • 00:16:11
    friends or even myself like we've lived
  • 00:16:12
    overseas and we live like how liberal
  • 00:16:14
    life could be. Um then I think that's
  • 00:16:17
    where we adopt a lot of that like
  • 00:16:18
    liberal culture when it comes to like
  • 00:16:20
    drug usage. Yeah. Cuz it is quite
  • 00:16:22
    accessible when you're outside of
  • 00:16:23
    Singapore whether or not it's legal
  • 00:16:25
    there or not. I think it's also the
  • 00:16:26
    progress of this certain EQ that we've
  • 00:16:28
    made that everyone's at different stage
  • 00:16:30
    of their life and you could be excelling
  • 00:16:32
    in this for now and on the surface I
  • 00:16:35
    might look unsuccessful to you but I'm
  • 00:16:36
    excelling in this other thing that you
  • 00:16:37
    don't see. And so I feel like that has
  • 00:16:40
    the success of the EQ education has
  • 00:16:43
    gotten to the point whereby no one feels
  • 00:16:45
    like they have moral authority over
  • 00:16:47
    another person anymore. Yeah. But I feel
  • 00:16:49
    like because they are so liberal, right,
  • 00:16:51
    in other countries, it makes me more
  • 00:16:53
    deinfluenced.
  • 00:16:55
    Oo, uninfluenced. Ah, sorry.
  • 00:16:57
    Uninfluenced to even think about it or
  • 00:17:00
    try it. Like the more I'm influenced
  • 00:17:02
    that is is bad. Like when I see them cuz
  • 00:17:05
    Singapore nobody try so you don't see
  • 00:17:07
    anything. So when you go overseas or
  • 00:17:08
    like you see media or like movies about
  • 00:17:11
    people in other countries trying right
  • 00:17:13
    it's like never a good experience you're
  • 00:17:15
    always like up in the end like have you
  • 00:17:17
    watched recrim for a dream that movie
  • 00:17:20
    scared the out of me I'll never
  • 00:17:21
    take drugs in my life I tell you after
  • 00:17:23
    that movie oh it's a drug
  • 00:17:26
    movie they should show this show to all
  • 00:17:29
    schools no because okay but it's M18
  • 00:17:32
    when I watch the show I legit feel for
  • 00:17:34
    my life after the credits when the
  • 00:17:35
    credits play right I sat there for like
  • 00:17:37
    2 minutes I was like never touching
  • 00:17:39
    drugs. It's not scary to me. It's just
  • 00:17:43
    so intense, right? That I felt like
  • 00:17:46
    drugs is the worst that can ever
  • 00:17:48
    happen. You know, there's a lot of shows
  • 00:17:51
    like for example Euphoria that kind like
  • 00:17:53
    to youth but then they still add a bit
  • 00:17:55
    of drugs inside the movies, right? I
  • 00:17:57
    never found it cool at all. No, but you
  • 00:17:59
    see I think that's the thing like so
  • 00:18:01
    when it came to media, right? like
  • 00:18:02
    sometimes the drug usage it the people
  • 00:18:04
    that are using it are portrayed as maybe
  • 00:18:06
    like slightly worse off they're not
  • 00:18:07
    successful in school or at work and and
  • 00:18:10
    whatn not but I think the opposite is
  • 00:18:12
    happening I think I don't know about you
  • 00:18:13
    guys but I'm starting to know more and
  • 00:18:14
    more people who maybe double in drugs or
  • 00:18:16
    like take drugs that are actually highly
  • 00:18:18
    successful people they are highly like
  • 00:18:20
    functioning they're completely fine and
  • 00:18:21
    they haven't do it and I think that is
  • 00:18:22
    where it's a little bit dangerous
  • 00:18:23
    because they're no longer the bad
  • 00:18:25
    examples so I think like these are the
  • 00:18:27
    overlooked negative influences that
  • 00:18:29
    we're not actually seeing cuz I I I
  • 00:18:31
    don't think it's about the cool factor
  • 00:18:33
    also. It's more of it's so normalized
  • 00:18:35
    that if you say you want to do it I
  • 00:18:39
    won't bet an eyelid then you do it
  • 00:18:41
    because it's normalized to me but I
  • 00:18:42
    don't think you are cooler as a result.
  • 00:18:44
    It's just you want do you want do it's
  • 00:18:45
    normal now then when you do that I see
  • 00:18:47
    you do that then you tell me hey show
  • 00:18:50
    you want try it's like I don't want to
  • 00:18:52
    be cool it's just like really actual you
  • 00:18:54
    know you're curious I feel like the
  • 00:18:57
    online space is also very distorted it's
  • 00:18:59
    a very distorted view of reality like
  • 00:19:00
    you talk about these people who are more
  • 00:19:02
    successful and whatever and trying these
  • 00:19:03
    things right they also have a lot of
  • 00:19:05
    safety nets in life like they are not
  • 00:19:06
    the people that maybe cannot comprehend
  • 00:19:08
    certain things or or if they end up
  • 00:19:09
    getting addicted they don't have the
  • 00:19:11
    resources whatever to get themselves out
  • 00:19:12
    so like And and the distortion can come
  • 00:19:15
    in like other ways also like like you
  • 00:19:16
    see those people they are constantly
  • 00:19:18
    doing mukbangs all that but then behind
  • 00:19:19
    the scenes they are like puking the food
  • 00:19:21
    out or they not actually swinging like
  • 00:19:22
    it's not even real. So then what is the
  • 00:19:24
    message that they're just trying to
  • 00:19:26
    send? So similar to like the this whole
  • 00:19:28
    liberization and and like when it comes
  • 00:19:29
    to drug abuse it also feels like there's
  • 00:19:32
    there's a bunch of stuff that we also
  • 00:19:33
    don't see. Yeah. Like cuz why would they
  • 00:19:35
    promote those things? I actually had a
  • 00:19:36
    recent experience that I think will
  • 00:19:39
    encourage you to call it out more. M I
  • 00:19:42
    was parked in my car park late at night
  • 00:19:44
    and then I was uh I was texting. It was
  • 00:19:48
    a heavy conversation happening. Okay. So
  • 00:19:50
    I'm staying in my car, air con on. No no
  • 00:19:53
    no not Yeah. The engine was running. So
  • 00:19:56
    then this random person walked up to me
  • 00:19:58
    then just stand in front of my car and
  • 00:20:00
    then just stare at me. Then I was like
  • 00:20:01
    after a while I look out there like hey
  • 00:20:02
    why this person here then test then
  • 00:20:04
    suddenly start walking towards me.
  • 00:20:05
    They're like hey what's going on? So I
  • 00:20:07
    just I I didn't think I'm doing anything
  • 00:20:08
    wrong right? So I open the window. Hey
  • 00:20:10
    bro what's up? Then he like, "You are
  • 00:20:12
    parked here, right? Are you going to
  • 00:20:13
    turn off your engine?" Then like, "Huh?
  • 00:20:15
    Why?" Then then he said, "Um, you you
  • 00:20:18
    cannot you shouldn't leave the engine
  • 00:20:19
    running and and stay parking." Then I
  • 00:20:21
    was like, "Okay." Yeah. Anyway, I'm
  • 00:20:22
    going to finish up and then I'll go up
  • 00:20:24
    very soon. Then I close the window. He
  • 00:20:25
    go away. Then I'm there for like about
  • 00:20:27
    five more minutes, right? Yeah. Then
  • 00:20:29
    he's then at the corner of my eye, I see
  • 00:20:31
    him standing there again. He come back
  • 00:20:33
    and stand in the middle of road and just
  • 00:20:34
    stare at me. Wait, but it's not like a
  • 00:20:35
    security guy, just a member of public.
  • 00:20:36
    Random dude, absolutely random dude. He
  • 00:20:39
    now walks to my window again and so like
  • 00:20:41
    he want to engage again. So I wind down
  • 00:20:43
    my window. You're still here. Turn off
  • 00:20:44
    your engine. They like what the why so
  • 00:20:47
    aggressive, bro?
  • 00:20:50
    He told you nicely the first time. No,
  • 00:20:51
    but I didn't understand why to begin
  • 00:20:53
    with. Okay. So after that, right? Then I
  • 00:20:54
    say, "Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay." But
  • 00:20:56
    in in my head, I I I don't care, right?
  • 00:20:58
    So I I just close the I tell him, "Okay,
  • 00:21:00
    okay, okay. I going up soon anyway."
  • 00:21:01
    Then I just close the window. Then he
  • 00:21:02
    walk then he just stay there and wait.
  • 00:21:05
    I'm not interested in an altercation or
  • 00:21:06
    whatever. So I just off my engine then
  • 00:21:08
    off already. Then he walks away. Then
  • 00:21:10
    after I faster Google like why I cannot
  • 00:21:13
    is it wrong to leave my engine on. Turns
  • 00:21:15
    out it's bad for the environment. It's
  • 00:21:16
    bad for your car. It's also illegal. You
  • 00:21:19
    can get fined for it. After I walk away
  • 00:21:21
    from that the whole situation right then
  • 00:21:22
    I realized that like actually I learned
  • 00:21:26
    something because no before that I did
  • 00:21:28
    not know any of this. I didn't know that
  • 00:21:30
    it's bad for the car. I didn't know that
  • 00:21:31
    it's bad for environment all that. I
  • 00:21:32
    will occasionally sometimes you know
  • 00:21:34
    after you you reach back and you want to
  • 00:21:35
    no then why you even agree if you didn't
  • 00:21:37
    know it was bad for anybody I mean you
  • 00:21:39
    are releasing carbon monoxide in the air
  • 00:21:40
    like that's what's going on and you're
  • 00:21:41
    wasting precious fuel which is
  • 00:21:43
    nonrenewable right correct correct yeah
  • 00:21:45
    no but beyond that why you even agree if
  • 00:21:47
    if you didn't know you were doing that
  • 00:21:48
    it's like a I'm paying for my own gas
  • 00:21:50
    what's because I don't want any problem
  • 00:21:53
    I don't want any problem and I also
  • 00:21:55
    don't know whether and no and I don't
  • 00:21:57
    know whether I'm right or wrong this to
  • 00:21:58
    you no and I don't know whether I'm
  • 00:21:59
    right or wrong yet right but because of
  • 00:22:02
    this situation I learned these new
  • 00:22:03
    things. So now I stop every time I park
  • 00:22:06
    ready I will just wind down window of
  • 00:22:08
    the of the engine whatever and then
  • 00:22:09
    whatever. Okay, Eevee. Yeah. And if I
  • 00:22:11
    were to come across this person again,
  • 00:22:13
    right, I honestly would thank the
  • 00:22:14
    person. The Yeah, I would thank him
  • 00:22:17
    because I learned something, but he
  • 00:22:18
    won't leave. The only part, right, that
  • 00:22:21
    I that I felt was wrong is that he was
  • 00:22:23
    too aggressive in his approach and like
  • 00:22:25
    very controlling of the situation.
  • 00:22:26
    That's the only part that I will I will
  • 00:22:28
    because I feel like his ego come into
  • 00:22:29
    play. He don't want to be played by you
  • 00:22:31
    cuz he already made the first step. the
  • 00:22:32
    first step to stand in front of your car
  • 00:22:34
    and put himself as a target and then
  • 00:22:35
    after he went to speak to you and then
  • 00:22:37
    you say okay now if he if he still can
  • 00:22:40
    see you and he see that you agree but
  • 00:22:42
    you never do right well that bruises his
  • 00:22:44
    ego the the second part he come back is
  • 00:22:46
    very little about the environment really
  • 00:22:47
    yeah the second part he come back is
  • 00:22:50
    about you say then why you never do yeah
  • 00:22:52
    which I feel like that was what could
  • 00:22:54
    ruin things but right the only part that
  • 00:22:56
    scary is that right he lucky he lucky I
  • 00:22:58
    got self-control cuz I was like once
  • 00:23:00
    again right I'm in a very intense
  • 00:23:01
    conversation Right. Half of me wanted to
  • 00:23:03
    get out of the car and maul him. Yeah.
  • 00:23:05
    Yeah. And you could have but I really
  • 00:23:07
    like I just t cuz I just don't want to
  • 00:23:10
    to confront. No, but let this be a
  • 00:23:12
    lesson also in a sense like when you go
  • 00:23:14
    and when you go and tell people nicely
  • 00:23:16
    what you hope that they do. You don't
  • 00:23:19
    know what they are going through right
  • 00:23:20
    now. So no for sure. For sure. Yeah. You
  • 00:23:22
    don't know when you go and tell them to
  • 00:23:23
    turn off your engine what not that guy
  • 00:23:24
    might be dealing with the death of his
  • 00:23:26
    father. Yeah. Just because your ego your
  • 00:23:28
    you captain planet right of the engine
  • 00:23:29
    now means now cannot give people 5
  • 00:23:31
    minutes to grief him calling it out was
  • 00:23:33
    right I learned something from it but
  • 00:23:34
    the way he do it and how he impose
  • 00:23:36
    himself after was wrong which is why the
  • 00:23:38
    the approach matters so much like you
  • 00:23:40
    mentioned like there were three things
  • 00:23:41
    right one was that it was bad for the
  • 00:23:42
    car one bad for the environment but also
  • 00:23:45
    it's illegal so you could get fined and
  • 00:23:46
    I think that's how we need to approach
  • 00:23:48
    people when we were so like call things
  • 00:23:49
    out are we coming from our us point of
  • 00:23:52
    view the caller out like because we want
  • 00:23:54
    to feel good that we call something out
  • 00:23:55
    or do we come from the point view of the
  • 00:23:56
    person that we're trying to call out
  • 00:23:58
    because at the end of the day it should
  • 00:23:59
    be about them. So like I think whether
  • 00:24:00
    it's drugs, whether it's leaving the
  • 00:24:01
    engine on, it's making them feel like,
  • 00:24:03
    okay, there there is a benefit here why
  • 00:24:05
    I'm calling this out. If he told you,
  • 00:24:07
    hey dude, it's illegal, you can get
  • 00:24:09
    fined, you immediately would have say,
  • 00:24:10
    oh yeah, okay, then you would
  • 00:24:11
    still turn off the engine. And I think
  • 00:24:13
    it that really helps to help us navigate
  • 00:24:16
    the Yeah. Yeah. the approach because
  • 00:24:18
    this feels like he just wanted to feel
  • 00:24:20
    good about like calling someone else. I
  • 00:24:21
    want to say during my trip I
  • 00:24:22
    subsequently did and I I think it took
  • 00:24:24
    me a while to find that balance and he
  • 00:24:26
    was the he was about to pop I just can
  • 00:24:28
    you know not oh that that was what I do
  • 00:24:31
    but but can you not I want to sleep in
  • 00:24:32
    peace that kind was that like a by
  • 00:24:34
    waiting or did you actually think so
  • 00:24:35
    long how can I approach this I mean the
  • 00:24:37
    first time or two times maybe I just let
  • 00:24:39
    it slide to be honest because I mean
  • 00:24:41
    they were biting half and what so you
  • 00:24:43
    know it's it's like already one gummy
  • 00:24:44
    bear the gummy bear is mostly sugar
  • 00:24:45
    probably I don't know then they already
  • 00:24:46
    biting half yeah maybe I think second
  • 00:24:48
    third time really then I think it was
  • 00:24:49
    duck so I said okay I want to sleep.
  • 00:24:51
    Then he said, "Okay." And did they
  • 00:24:52
    listen? I think it was because it was
  • 00:24:54
    chill. It's in a sense, bro, can you
  • 00:24:55
    turn off the energy now? You'll get
  • 00:24:56
    fine. I think it was the energy. I think
  • 00:24:59
    if I went down your route, right?
  • 00:25:01
    Especially guy versus guy. And that
  • 00:25:02
    person somewhat has a older than me
  • 00:25:05
    authority, right? I couldn't I want to
  • 00:25:08
    tell you the consequence of your action
  • 00:25:10
    because I care about you, right? Would
  • 00:25:11
    have ruined the entire dream. You must
  • 00:25:13
    know the audience. Yeah. Yeah. You got
  • 00:25:15
    to know your know you do you so it's so
  • 00:25:18
    pervasive now, right? I was with I was
  • 00:25:21
    with my godchildren over the weekend and
  • 00:25:23
    then for some reason right one my god
  • 00:25:25
    daughter she likes to wear the shorts
  • 00:25:26
    that we bought for her like years ago.
  • 00:25:28
    So it was very short on her and she's
  • 00:25:30
    growing she's very tall already. I mean
  • 00:25:32
    she's too young to to want to try to be
  • 00:25:34
    studying. It's just comfortable to her,
  • 00:25:35
    right? But it's like at this point it's
  • 00:25:37
    like we tell her your shorts is too
  • 00:25:38
    short, you know. Then I'm immediately
  • 00:25:40
    reminded of my secondary school like the
  • 00:25:42
    teachers that will go
  • 00:25:43
    in your roll up your skirt. Then I just
  • 00:25:46
    like your your short is too short. Then
  • 00:25:47
    she I like then I'm like in my head
  • 00:25:49
    right I'm like you do
  • 00:25:52
    you then I'm letting that little kid
  • 00:25:55
    right look like a young hooker. You know
  • 00:25:57
    what I mean? Because the shorts is is so
  • 00:26:00
    tight is it's just small. But I if I'm
  • 00:26:02
    here, I also don't know what to say,
  • 00:26:03
    right? Cuz it's like I'm not your
  • 00:26:05
    father. Then we are close. We are
  • 00:26:07
    family. But it's like not father, not
  • 00:26:09
    brother. So it's like then you watch her
  • 00:26:11
    then she
  • 00:26:11
    she's starting to dress in a way that is
  • 00:26:15
    like we already like if I'm a pedo like
  • 00:26:17
    prime. She looks prime. You see I cannot
  • 00:26:19
    see. I cannot just speak my mind. I must
  • 00:26:21
    Hey, I cannot give reaction. Can Hey, I
  • 00:26:24
    cannot. No. But why don't you tell your
  • 00:26:26
    sister? Yeah, we do. We say in front of
  • 00:26:28
    them the parents say you want to buy
  • 00:26:30
    clothes we must throw away your old
  • 00:26:31
    clothes. Okay. Don't buy new clothes
  • 00:26:32
    off. No no no but you want to buy things
  • 00:26:34
    right as a kid you always want new
  • 00:26:35
    things. Okay. You want this one can then
  • 00:26:37
    we have to throw that one motivate.
  • 00:26:38
    You're teaching me the wrong things but
  • 00:26:39
    you're getting the right results. No but
  • 00:26:41
    some people I feel like they call right
  • 00:26:43
    with not the right intention. Yeah. Oh
  • 00:26:46
    no intention would happen. No, like just
  • 00:26:48
    want to comment and make it funny or
  • 00:26:51
    like there's no like thought behind like
  • 00:26:53
    whether I say this thing the person like
  • 00:26:54
    I want to I think about this person's
  • 00:26:56
    health like one time like I was with a
  • 00:26:58
    group of friends then I bump into
  • 00:26:59
    another friend right then he just say
  • 00:27:01
    like hey Alison you oh my what the
  • 00:27:06
    what he fat like my face hey you like he
  • 00:27:09
    never say words though you I was so hurt
  • 00:27:12
    like cuz it's the first thing he said to
  • 00:27:14
    me like I said hello oh my god and the
  • 00:27:16
    first he said
  • 00:27:17
    you then I just like them thrown off
  • 00:27:20
    then some I was with my friends in a
  • 00:27:22
    public space then after that I never
  • 00:27:24
    talk to this person no rightly so I
  • 00:27:26
    think rightly so there needs to be I'm
  • 00:27:28
    so angry so here's where
  • 00:27:31
    not that I do it okay I don't think I do
  • 00:27:32
    it but I want to say these things are
  • 00:27:34
    good for you cuz you are still thinking
  • 00:27:36
    about it now every time you fight that
  • 00:27:38
    temptation when you after dinner right
  • 00:27:40
    then you walk past then you go and want
  • 00:27:41
    to buy the fro yo right you think about
  • 00:27:43
    that guy then you're like this
  • 00:27:45
    no you won't buy the fro yo but the
  • 00:27:48
    point is that you look great you're
  • 00:27:50
    going to eat a fro yo you know what I
  • 00:27:51
    mean I think he also brought out
  • 00:27:53
    something about how like we are in our
  • 00:27:55
    30s looking back and then because of
  • 00:27:57
    that right when I think there were a lot
  • 00:28:00
    of opportunities and moments in our
  • 00:28:01
    20ies where if we had been able to
  • 00:28:03
    discern and understand this and call our
  • 00:28:05
    friends out or even ourselves out
  • 00:28:07
    earlier on right it's not so bad but the
  • 00:28:09
    damage that it kind of does over a long
  • 00:28:10
    period of time because your your 20ies
  • 00:28:12
    are very formative years of your life
  • 00:28:14
    also right then it feels like that one
  • 00:28:16
    does a lot of like it does more than
  • 00:28:18
    more harm in the long term if you don't
  • 00:28:20
    call it out earlier on like now you say
  • 00:28:21
    in our 30s we call all kind of like get
  • 00:28:24
    it together already right but for those
  • 00:28:26
    that didn't in their 20ies I think it
  • 00:28:29
    doesn't need to be fixed and addressed I
  • 00:28:31
    think the fact that you all have the
  • 00:28:33
    culture of see being able to say I don't
  • 00:28:35
    think you should blah blah blah like bro
  • 00:28:37
    I know I'm doing I think right enough
  • 00:28:41
    then next time they're on it again be
  • 00:28:43
    like dude you're still on it yeah yeah
  • 00:28:45
    enough that's how I think guys operate
  • 00:28:47
    like it needs to be at that level where
  • 00:28:49
    okay when you're really doing it at home
  • 00:28:51
    then you're thinking ah this guy's
  • 00:28:52
    actually said this ah like to leave
  • 00:28:54
    people space to do it on their own terms
  • 00:28:57
    but and I'm okay I I personally feel
  • 00:29:00
    like we're okay with I'm okay with that.
  • 00:29:02
    Yeah. What I'm not okay with is that we
  • 00:29:04
    don't even point out anymore. The
  • 00:29:05
    problem isn't just that people are not
  • 00:29:07
    calling it out enough. I think the root
  • 00:29:10
    of the problem is that we're not in a
  • 00:29:12
    society that can accept, can hear it.
  • 00:29:15
    You know, we are in a position where
  • 00:29:17
    every time someone says it, we go into
  • 00:29:18
    defensive mode or we go into attack mode
  • 00:29:20
    or we go into I'm not listening to you
  • 00:29:21
    anymore mode. We're not ready to receive
  • 00:29:24
    a call out. And I think that's what
  • 00:29:25
    needs to change because people don't
  • 00:29:26
    want to call out because we are afraid
  • 00:29:28
    that the person doesn't want to receive
  • 00:29:29
    it. Same to you, the engine. So, right,
  • 00:29:32
    we I quickly search up this chat GPT
  • 00:29:34
    framework. Great. Okay. It's GPT
  • 00:29:36
    generated. So, it's not the Bible. This
  • 00:29:38
    framework is to try and guide people on
  • 00:29:41
    deciding when to speak up. When is it
  • 00:29:43
    appropriate to speak up? Okay. So they
  • 00:29:45
    have like a quick five one. Okay. The
  • 00:29:46
    first one is is the person in danger? It
  • 00:29:49
    could be. No. Fair fair question, right?
  • 00:29:51
    Is the person in danger? The second one
  • 00:29:53
    is are they hurting others? Whether
  • 00:29:56
    intentionally or unintentionally or
  • 00:29:58
    maybe about to hurt somebody else. Okay.
  • 00:30:00
    Who do that physically or emotionally?
  • 00:30:02
    Have they asked for help? That means you
  • 00:30:04
    are you are deciding when to speak up to
  • 00:30:05
    this person is when they ask for help.
  • 00:30:06
    So for example, if I say you're
  • 00:30:08
    struggling with weight, right? Then you
  • 00:30:09
    might have made a comment like I'm I'm
  • 00:30:11
    if I'm I'm finding very difficult to
  • 00:30:12
    lose weight or to diet or what, right?
  • 00:30:13
    Then that person may think of like,
  • 00:30:15
    okay, since you have already asked,
  • 00:30:16
    there's an opening for me to Okay, I
  • 00:30:18
    maybe I can speak up on this. I see.
  • 00:30:20
    Yeah. I see. Okay. Last one is are you
  • 00:30:22
    stepping in for them or for yourself?
  • 00:30:24
    That's the key one. That is the key one.
  • 00:30:27
    Okay. So, thanks for watching. Uh if you
  • 00:30:28
    want to find out more about CNB's
  • 00:30:29
    campaign, you can check out the links in
  • 00:30:31
    the description box below. If not, we'll
  • 00:30:32
    see you guys in the next episode. Bye
  • 00:30:34
    bye. I feel like I've been going down a
  • 00:30:36
    wrong route and no one's calling me off.
  • 00:30:38
    So cut games. No, let's be honest. Like
  • 00:30:40
    the whole Pokemon thing, right, is an
  • 00:30:42
    addiction and like it's a huge problem,
  • 00:30:44
    but I think like because no one really
  • 00:30:47
    understands it or sees it in that light,
  • 00:30:49
    right? I mean, people roughly know,
  • 00:30:50
    okay, this is an addiction, but they
  • 00:30:51
    don't know how dangerous it is. Like no
  • 00:30:53
    one ends up going, hey, I think you
  • 00:30:55
    should really stop, man. Or like like no
  • 00:30:57
    one everyone just laughs or goes like,
  • 00:30:59
    hey, I also want, you know, but happy
  • 00:31:00
    for you, though. Like when I see a man
  • 00:31:02
    with a
  • 00:31:03
    hobby, I'm just happy for them.
  • 00:31:08
    So, so I think there there are a lot of
  • 00:31:09
    good things about it, which is that I
  • 00:31:11
    think Ned and I connecting on a whole
  • 00:31:13
    new way. Like before this, it was just
  • 00:31:14
    we watch Netflix together, but it's very
  • 00:31:16
    passive. But now we get to collect
  • 00:31:17
    together. We get to play against each
  • 00:31:18
    other. I used to be someone who's very
  • 00:31:20
    frugal. Like even like a $10 thing, I
  • 00:31:22
    would rather find tawa the $5 version.
  • 00:31:23
    Now I'm just like spending. And so I
  • 00:31:25
    think that's something that I needed to
  • 00:31:26
    catch myself. And it took me like two
  • 00:31:27
    months. It took me another addiction.
  • 00:31:28
    actually took me Magic the Gathering
  • 00:31:30
    addiction to stop my Pokemon addiction.
  • 00:31:31
    And Magic the Gathering is a lot more
  • 00:31:32
    controllable. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. I think
  • 00:31:34
    I mean I'm also into it as well. Oh no,
  • 00:31:37
    you're only playing 7K1.
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