The Art of Effective Communication | Marcus Alexander Velazquez | TEDxWolcottSchool

00:12:08
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yw6dFQBklA

Summary

TLDRIn a compelling talk, the speaker delves into the intricacies of effective communication, emphasizing its critical role in ensuring messages are not just delivered but also received and understood. Effective communication is presented as a skill that eliminates wasted time and emotional strain, potentially preserving relationships by preventing misunderstandings. The speaker characterizes communication as an art form, requiring adaptability and the ability to adjust. It's emphasized that the effectiveness of communication also depends on humility, acknowledging that one could always be wrong and focusing on the audience rather than oneself. Practical advice is given, such as being direct and concise to prevent emotional fatigue in conversations. The importance of trust and a good reputation is mentioned, as these aspects influence whether an audience will receive a message. Lastly, communication should be a balanced exchange where active listening is valued as much as speaking, all to ensure emotional, temporal, and relational savings.

Takeaways

  • 🤔 Effective communication is crucial for conveying and understanding information.
  • 💡 Communication involves not just delivering but ensuring clarity and understanding.
  • 🔄 Adaptability is key; communication is an art that requires presence and adjustment.
  • 🗣️ Humility helps in acknowledging mistakes and focusing on audience needs.
  • 🚫 Avoid unnecessary words and emotions to prevent communication fatigue.
  • 🔄 Active listening is essential; it makes communication a two-way street.
  • 🤝 Build trust with your audience to ensure messages are received.
  • 💬 Direct communication is more effective, avoiding indirect hints.
  • 🔥 Reputation matters; it affects credibility and message reception.
  • ⏱️ Efficient communication saves time and prevents undue emotional stress.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The speaker initiates the talk with questions about experiencing prolonged or hostage-like conversations and reflects on effective communication, emphasizing the need for communication to be not just delivered, but understood and re-explainable. He introduces art in communication as adapting spontaneously in interactions and highlights the consequences of ineffective communication, such as wasted time, emotional strain, misunderstandings, and potential relationship loss. With personal experiences in diverse conversations, the speaker stresses personalized delivery and the removal of obstacles to ensure comprehension.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:12:08

    The speaker humorously addresses the issue of over-talking with the term 'diarrhea of the mouth' and stresses direct and simple communication, inspired by Einstein's advice on simplicity. He advocates defining terms to ensure mutual understanding and suggests asking individuals what terms mean to them. Emphasizing humility in communication, the speaker defines it as accepting potential error and focusing on the audience's understanding rather than self-presentation. He concludes with advice on tone, trust, and aligning actions with words, advocating active listening to complement speaking, underlining that effective communication can save time, emotions, and relationships.

Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • What is effective communication?

    Effective communication is when information is received and understood by the audience.

  • Why is effective communication important?

    It prevents wasted time, emotional burdens, and misunderstandings that can lead to relationship issues.

  • What role does humility play in communication?

    Humility allows you to be open to the possibility of being wrong and to present information in a way the audience can understand.

  • What is 'diarrhea of the mouth'?

    It's a humorous term for talking excessively without making a point.

  • How can misunderstandings affect relationships?

    Misunderstandings can lead to the loss of relationships.

  • What does it mean that communication is an art?

    Communication as an art means being adaptable, present, and adjusting to changes or feedback during the interaction.

  • How does reputation affect communication?

    If your reputation is poor, people may not trust or listen to what you say.

  • What is the shortest distance between two points in terms of communication?

    It refers to direct communication, getting straight to the point.

  • Why should actions back up words in communication?

    Actions either support or discredit what is being said based on whether they match the message being conveyed.

  • How can one improve their communication skills?

    By understanding their audience, eliminating unnecessary words and emotions, and ensuring clarity and simplicity in the message.

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Subtitles
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  • 00:00:02
    I want to start off my talk this evening
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    by asking a few questions if any of
  • 00:00:06
    these questions apply to you please
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    kindly raise your hand
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    question number one have any of you here
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    ever felt like you've been held hostage
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    in a conversation before you may lower
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    your hands thank you
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    question number two have any of you here
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    ever been part of a conversation where
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    you know the person talking could have
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    said what they needed to say much faster
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    and with many fewer words this is my
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    last question this is going to tell me
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    how honest and real of an audience you
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    guys are this evening how many of you
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    have been the person in a conversation
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    talking way longer than you needed to be
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    a couple you got shy with that last
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    question well the title of my talk this
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    evening is the art of effective
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    communication and I want to define those
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    terms communication can be simply
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    defined as the delivering of information
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    now effective communication is when that
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    information is actually received by your
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    audience because it doesn't matter how
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    great your delivery is your
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    communication is ineffective if the
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    information isn't actually received by
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    your audience and I'll take it a step
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    further not only should information be
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    received by your audience but it also
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    needs to be understood by your audience
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    here's an example let's say I put you in
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    front of a computer on that computer
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    screen as a bunch of computer
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    programming if you're not a computer
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    programmer that information makes no
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    sense to you
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    so although the information has been
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    delivered without understanding the
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    information in front of you that
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    information is useless and I want to
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    take it a step further I truly believe
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    that communication is mostly effective
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    when your audience is able to take the
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    information that you've given them and
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    then relay it to another third party
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    because that shows you that they truly
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    got it they truly receive the
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    information and they truly understood it
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    to the point where they're able to share
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    it with someone else now I want to
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    define art art is really it's going with
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    the flow
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    it's being in the zone it's being
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    present and adjusting as necessary
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    because you can have all the structure
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    in the world but you have to learn how
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    to navigate through conversations you
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    may need to navigate through questions
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    or rebuttals or comments that you may
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    never have heard before and
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    communication really is an art form
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    it's like a song-and-dance communication
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    kind of reminds me of painting a
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    painting let's say your original idea
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    was to make a left stroke with the color
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    orange but in the middle of the process
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    you decide that a right stroke with the
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    color yellow is more appropriate it's
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    about being in the zone and adjusting as
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    necessary so why should we even care
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    about effective communication well we
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    should care about effective
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    communication because these are some of
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    the results of ineffective communication
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    number one on the list is wasted time we
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    waste so much time due to ineffective
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    communication and I highly doubt anyone
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    here wants to waste their time on
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    purpose secondly we also waste emotions
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    to see along with wasted time
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    conversations dragged on much longer
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    than they need to and with that our
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    emotions dragged on much longer than
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    they need to see ineffective
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    communication also leads to
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    misunderstandings and misunderstandings
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    could lead to the eventual loss of
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    relationships
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    has anyone ever lost a relationship due
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    to a misunderstanding so you see the
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    need for effective communication now I'm
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    not here to proselytize but outside of
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    this forum I share my Christian faith a
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    lot and over the years in doing so I've
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    literally had thousands of conversations
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    with thousands of different people and
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    these people are from every background
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    and walk of life you can imagine and you
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    know what I've learned from that
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    experience no two conversations are ever
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    the same and that's because no two
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    people are ever the same now there may
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    be similarities but you will never find
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    a carbon-copy conversation so you have
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    to learn how to navigate through
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    questions and rebuttals you may need to
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    explain an idea in a different way if
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    your audience didn't receive it the
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    first time so your job is a
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    Euna cater is to deliver a message and
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    make sure that message is received and
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    understood by your audience point-blank
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    that's it
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    anything that stops or hinders your
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    audience from receiving that information
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    it needs to be removed from your speech
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    and this includes removing things like
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    extra words extra stories and even extra
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    emotions see one of the biggest
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    hindrances to effective communication is
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    talking for way longer than we need to
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    and this is not only because we're
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    dealing with people's short attention
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    spans but when you talk longer than
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    necessary you become an emotional burden
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    have you ever felt drained after having
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    a conversation with someone no that's no
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    one here right I'm talking to a
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    different audience you feel drained and
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    see this brings up a very serious issue
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    there are people out there that suffer
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    from a very serious disease and you in
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    the audience you may know someone who
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    suffers from this disease and this
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    disease is commonly known as diarrhea of
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    the mouth where it feels like a dam just
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    broken the floodwaters are gushing out
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    these people will literally use just
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    about every word in the English language
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    and yet make no point oh it's a problem
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    see problems arise when communication
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    and conversations become more about the
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    person wanting to be heard than actually
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    delivering information now there's a
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    mathematical phrase that says the
  • 00:06:02
    shortest distance between two points is
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    a straight line
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    now this can refer to direct
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    communication because after all a
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    straight line gets straight to the point
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    not giving third-party comments and
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    hoping that your message gets across to
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    your audience here's an example let's
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    say you're angry at someone instead of
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    directly telling them that you're angry
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    instead of directly telling them why
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    you're angry and potentially sitting
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    down and coming to a peaceful resolution
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    you may give them the cold shoulder you
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    might leave their texts on read I can't
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    stay
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    that by the way you might huff and puff
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    when you're around them and slam doors
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    not that any of you here have ever done
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    that but we do all these things hoping
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    that this message will get across that
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    they'll understand that I'm mad at them
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    instead of directly telling them that
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    I'm mad at them see when you speak you
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    need to understand that simplicity is
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    key Albert Einstein once said that if
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    you can't explain it simply you don't
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    understand it well enough I'll say that
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    again Albert Einstein once said that if
  • 00:07:11
    you can't explain it simply you don't
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    understand it well enough now one of the
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    biggest things is defining your terms
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    defining your terms is huge and this is
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    why you can end up using the same word
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    as someone else and having different
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    definitions as to what that word means
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    and one of the best ways to clear this
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    up is by asking the following question
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    what does that mean to you what does
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    that word mean to you what does that
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    phrase mean to you what does that
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    sentence mean to you because that will
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    clear up confusion now before you start
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    you need to know what your end goal is
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    what do I want my audience to receive
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    what's the information or message that I
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    want them to receive you know I'm a huge
  • 00:08:01
    fan of the TV show the office we have
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    any office Branson here yeah my people I
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    love it so writing the speech reminded
  • 00:08:08
    me of a scene from The Office there's a
  • 00:08:10
    scene where Michael Scott is talking to
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    his boss David Wallace David wants to
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    know why his branch is so successful and
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    Michael says David my philosophy is
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    basically this don't ever for any reason
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    under any circumstance whatsoever and
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    he's literally just rambling on and on
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    and later on he goes to be interviewed
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    by the camera and he says sometimes I'll
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    start a sentence and I don't even know
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    where it's going I just hope I find it
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    along the way now that's funny
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    on TV not so much when we're dealing
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    with people one-on-one in the real world
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    I truly feel that one of the biggest
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    things if not the biggest thing that
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    effective communication requires is the
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    following humility
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    humility is key when it comes to
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    effective communication and there are
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    really two keys to humility number one
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    is that you can always be wrong you can
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    always be wrong when you understand that
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    you can always be wrong you can still
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    present confidently but when you
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    understand that you can be wrong you are
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    then willing and able to listen to
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    opposing viewpoints listening to other
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    people's opinions listening to other
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    people's arguments and their facts the
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    second key to humility is this it is not
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    about you it's about your audience see
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    when you understand that it's not about
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    you and it's about your audience you
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    will then present information the best
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    way that your audience will receive it
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    not necessarily the way you think it
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    best sounds now there's three things I
  • 00:09:43
    want to point out two of them you might
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    be familiar with already you may have
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    heard it said it's not what you say but
  • 00:09:49
    it's how you say it well guess what it
  • 00:09:52
    is what you say you have to know what
  • 00:09:54
    you're talking about one of the worst
  • 00:09:56
    things is being a part of a conversation
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    listening to someone talk about
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    something you know they know nothing
  • 00:10:01
    about and secondly it is how you say a
  • 00:10:05
    tone allottee matters you know if you're
  • 00:10:07
    speaking to someone with a harsh or
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    abrasive tone if you're angry or
  • 00:10:12
    condescending towards them or any number
  • 00:10:14
    of negative tones that will hinder your
  • 00:10:16
    audience from receiving your message and
  • 00:10:19
    I want to add a third layer to this
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    because it's not just what is said or
  • 00:10:23
    how it's said but the third layer is
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    this is what's being said coming from a
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    trustworthy source see Trust is a big
  • 00:10:34
    part of communication if your audience
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    doesn't trust you then your words will
  • 00:10:39
    fall on deaf ears and it's really
  • 00:10:42
    interesting how reputation ties into
  • 00:10:45
    this because see if your reputation is a
  • 00:10:47
    hot mess no one will listen to a word
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    you say and why should they
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    why should anyone listen to the words
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    you say when your life speaks a
  • 00:10:57
    different message contrary to what
  • 00:10:59
    you're preaching and if you're taking
  • 00:11:01
    notes this evening I want you to write
  • 00:11:03
    this down because I want you
  • 00:11:04
    take this home your actions will either
  • 00:11:07
    promote or nullify your words I'll say
  • 00:11:13
    that again your actions will either
  • 00:11:16
    promote or nullify your words see direct
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    communication and effective
  • 00:11:23
    communication is a two-way street what
  • 00:11:25
    do I mean by that that means that if
  • 00:11:27
    you're not the one speaking and
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    communicating you should be actively
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    listening you shouldn't focus on more
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    than one thing at a time and you should
  • 00:11:35
    give your focus your attention and your
  • 00:11:37
    respect to the speaker the same way you
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    would want it if you were the one
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    speaking see effective communication
  • 00:11:45
    saves time it saves emotions and it can
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    quite possibly save relationships aren't
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    these things worth saving thank you guys
  • 00:11:57
    for your time
  • 00:11:58
    [Applause]
Tags
  • effective communication
  • humility
  • art of communication
  • conciseness
  • trust and reputation
  • emotional burden
  • relationship management
  • direct communication
  • active listening
  • audience understanding