Russell Brand REVEALS The 3 Steps To RECOVERY & OVERCOMING ADDICTION | Commune
Summary
TLDRThis is a free masterclass with Russell Brand, conducted by commune, focusing on the first three steps of recovery from addiction via the 12-step program. Russell Brand shares his personal journey of overcoming addiction using this program, highlighting how it assists in awakening consciousness and addressing various life challenges. The process begins with admitting one's powerlessness over addiction, embracing the possibility of change, and acknowledging a power greater than oneself. Brand explains that these steps can be applied not only to combat drug and alcohol addiction but to liberate oneself from any unhealthy attachment in life, whether it's technological dependency, negative thinking, or issues in personal relationships. Through humorous and insightful narratives, Brand emphasizes the importance of honesty, openness to change, and spiritual growth on the path to personal recovery.
Takeaways
- 📚 Understanding Russell Brand's personal recovery journey.
- 🧘 Emphasizing consciousness awakening and self-improvement.
- 📜 Applying the 12-step program beyond substance misuse.
- 🎯 Admitting problems is key to personal growth.
- ✨ Finding a higher power aids in recovery.
- 🔍 Worksheets and materials enhance learning and application.
- 💡 Encouragement towards spiritual and behavioral change.
- 🗣️ Russell's humorous yet profound teaching style.
- 🌱 Embracing change and new perspectives for life.
- 🕊️ Liberation from attachments fosters a healthier life.
Timeline
- 00:00:00 - 00:05:00
The introduction sets the stage for a master class on recovery with Russell Brand, focusing on the first three steps of a 12-step program. It highlights Brand's personal recovery journey from drug and alcohol addiction using this program. This course aims to use the steps as a tool for spiritual awakening, applicable beyond substance addiction to a range of life challenges.
- 00:05:00 - 00:10:00
Russell Brand discusses the universal application of the 12-step program, emphasizing it as a method for spiritual awakening and addressing diverse addictions. He outlines that addiction often results from attaching to external objects seeking salvation, which causes pain. The program reframes problems as opportunities for initiation and mental transformation.
- 00:10:00 - 00:15:00
Brand explains that when one admits their life is unmanageable due to addiction, it becomes an opportunity for self-awareness and change. Honesty about personal dissatisfaction is crucial. The 12-step program offers a structured change protocol, applicable to varying problems from substance addiction to general discontentment, beginning with identifying specific issues for change.
- 00:15:00 - 00:20:00
The candid admission of having an unmanageable problem is the first step in the 12-step program. Brand suggests a straightforward acknowledgment process, moving from theoretical understanding to practical personal admission, which starts real change. This can apply to both severe substance issues and subtler behavioral habits like excessive phone use.
- 00:20:00 - 00:25:00
Brand discusses the transition from acknowledgment of a problem to embracing the potential for change, facilitated by a power greater than oneself. This involves challenging self-reliance and considering one's habits and perspectives critically. Step Two emphasizes hope and openness to change facilitated by support beyond one's own capabilities.
- 00:25:00 - 00:30:00
Acknowledging the need for change involves recognizing that past habits and thought patterns must shift. Brand suggests changes are necessary for effective recovery and that accepting a power beyond oneself aids in this transformation. This includes moving from a self-centered mindset to being open to external guidance.
- 00:30:00 - 00:35:00
The video emphasizes turning one's life over to a power greater than oneself, recognizing self-efforts have not worked. Step Three involves humility and readiness to accept external guidance. By relinquishing self-control, one prepares to adopt new life plans provided by the 12-step structure, essential for recovery.
- 00:35:00 - 00:40:00
Step Three elaborates on the necessity of surrendering personal control to foster true change. Brand highlights the importance of embracing humility rather than humiliation, accepting that one's plans might not work, and embracing new, perhaps initially uncomfortable, ideas and methods.
- 00:40:00 - 00:45:00
Brand addresses resistance to external help, often due to pride. He discusses humility as crucial in Step Three, helping to see that self-driven plans may be flawed. Accepting compassionate authority and being teachable allows one to accept effective change strategies.
- 00:45:00 - 00:50:00
Brand explains how personal limitations and pride obstruct recovery. Step Three's acceptance of higher power helps people recognize when their methods fail. He describes it not as surrender to defeat but inspired re-learning, framing it as unlocking potential beyond the ego's reach.
- 00:50:00 - 00:55:00
Step Three also involves reconstructing personal failures into a willingness for guidance external to oneself. Brand relates his experiences with pride and necessity for humility, allowing relearning from life’s failures. This perspective fosters openness to new plans and perspectives.
- 00:55:00 - 01:00:00
The necessity of freeing oneself from self-imprisonment emerges, suggesting that yielding to a higher power signifies growth beyond self-doubt and anxiety. Brand argues for optimism in surrendering to change as a means to discover inherent potential previously overshadowed by ego-driven actions.
- 01:00:00 - 01:05:00
Recognizing one's own inadequacies leads to openness for change guided by faith beyond personal capability. Brand emphasizes authentic personal faith in recovery without imposing dogmatic views, encouraging creation of personal belief systems aligning positively with recovery goals.
- 01:05:00 - 01:12:25
The course is designed to help individuals recognize internal problems and address them through structured steps that invoke both personal and spiritual growth, offering tools and support to transition from problem recognition to managing the solutions and embracing personal transformations.
Mind Map
Video Q&A
What is the session about?
The session covers the first three steps of the 12-step recovery program with Russell Brand, focusing on consciousness awakening and self-improvement.
Who is the host of the session?
The session is hosted by Jeff Krasnow.
What personal experiences does Russell Brand share?
Brand shares his experience with overcoming addiction through the 12-step program.
How can the 12-step program be applied?
The program can be applied to liberate from various attachments and improve personal growth beyond substance misuse.
What does Russell Brand highlight about the process?
Brand highlights admitting problems, embracing change, and finding a power greater than oneself as essential steps.
Who is the masterclass aimed at?
The masterclass is aimed at those struggling with addiction or anyone seeking personal improvement and consciousness awakening.
What platform hosts this masterclass?
The masterclass is hosted on Commune, an online course platform for wellness.
Are worksheets and additional materials provided?
Yes, worksheets and additional materials are available alongside the course.
View more video summaries
- 00:00:00[Music]
- 00:00:05and i'm trying to define the bloody
- 00:00:07nature of god in an armchair in a
- 00:00:09[ __ ] cabin in a canyon
- 00:00:11hello and welcome to commune a global
- 00:00:14wellness community and online course
- 00:00:16platform we are on a mission to inspire
- 00:00:20heal pass down wisdom and bring the
- 00:00:22world closer together i'm your host jeff
- 00:00:26krasnow and that's noam chomsky in the
- 00:00:28back and this is your free master class
- 00:00:31with russell brand on the first three
- 00:00:34steps to recovery
- 00:00:3619 years ago russell somewhat famously
- 00:00:39hit rock bottom due to his struggles
- 00:00:42with drug and alcohol addiction he quite
- 00:00:45reticently joined an aaa group and began
- 00:00:48to apply a method known as the 12-step
- 00:00:52program to address his afflictions now
- 00:00:55at first russell like many others
- 00:00:57side-eyed the 12 steps as overly preachy
- 00:01:01and too ecumenical however he applied
- 00:01:04the technology assiduously one day at a
- 00:01:08time and he's been clean
- 00:01:10ever since this 12-step program is a
- 00:01:14simple methodology that you can apply to
- 00:01:17a full range of behaviors as a means to
- 00:01:20liberate yourself from these attachments
- 00:01:23so to address our multifarious
- 00:01:26addictions russell and commune have
- 00:01:27created a program that draws from this
- 00:01:31wisdom the wisdom of the 12 steps and
- 00:01:34applies it broadly as a tool for
- 00:01:37spiritual awakening and over the next
- 00:01:39hour or so you will be immersed in the
- 00:01:42first three steps of this program
- 00:01:44russell is as usual captivating
- 00:01:47insightful funny articulate eloquent and
- 00:01:50occasionally
- 00:01:52profane
- 00:01:58let me give you a bit of an overview of
- 00:01:59what you can anticipate and expect
- 00:02:01although anticipation and expectations
- 00:02:03are some of the things you're probably
- 00:02:04going to have to deal with they're
- 00:02:05probably the very kind of things that
- 00:02:06mean you have to acquire courses like
- 00:02:08this because you're living in a constant
- 00:02:10state of expectation
- 00:02:1212-step recovery for me is nothing less
- 00:02:15than a system for altering my
- 00:02:16consciousness for creating a state of
- 00:02:19awakening
- 00:02:21the thing that's ingenious about it is
- 00:02:23it was developed and evolved to the most
- 00:02:25obvious forms of addiction such as
- 00:02:27alcoholism and addiction if you're a
- 00:02:28crackhead a smackhead an alcoholic it's
- 00:02:30a pretty obvious problem the social
- 00:02:32medical criminal judicial problems that
- 00:02:34you'll encounter make it clear to you
- 00:02:37that your life is gone wildly awry
- 00:02:40astray that you are dealing with
- 00:02:42complexity conundrum and calamity near
- 00:02:46consistently and constantly but whether
- 00:02:48or not you're a person in recovery right
- 00:02:50now working the 12 steps around
- 00:02:53behaviors or drugs or alcohol or a
- 00:02:55person that's curious
- 00:02:57about how you could evolve a new
- 00:02:59perspective this course is going to give
- 00:03:01you the tools and explain the methods in
- 00:03:04a manner and a language that you will
- 00:03:06understand although this is like a um
- 00:03:09quite colloquial chatty and casual
- 00:03:12dialectic between me and you right now
- 00:03:15we're dealing with nothing less than the
- 00:03:17system for inducing enlightenment i
- 00:03:19don't want that to sound overly
- 00:03:21grandiose but i do want you to know that
- 00:03:24what the 12 steps does is it takes you
- 00:03:27from a state of unawareness to a state
- 00:03:29of awareness a state of unconsciousness
- 00:03:32to a state of consciousness
- 00:03:35in my own life this is how it hit me the
- 00:03:37way that the 12 steps hits most people
- 00:03:39that work it i was in a rock bottom
- 00:03:42state of absolute desperation a heroin
- 00:03:44addict a crack addict an alcoholic every
- 00:03:47aspect of my behavior was problematic it
- 00:03:51was clear that i needed intervention a
- 00:03:54curious thing that i'll mention at this
- 00:03:56early stage of the journey that we're on
- 00:03:58together is that what i was looking for
- 00:04:00curiously and
- 00:04:02this is not something that i'd have been
- 00:04:03able to appreciate it
- 00:04:05if you would have plainly told me what i
- 00:04:07was looking for was an awakening a
- 00:04:10spiritual connection seems like an odd
- 00:04:12way to look for a spiritual awakening
- 00:04:13and connection sitting around in
- 00:04:15doorways doing smack hitting up the
- 00:04:17martel bottle pipe hitting boozing
- 00:04:21whoring seems like an odd way to look
- 00:04:24for god to look for oneness
- 00:04:26and indeed it is
- 00:04:29but the reason the 12 steps works and
- 00:04:32the reason that i believe it was
- 00:04:34discovered in relation to substance
- 00:04:35misuse and alcohol misuse is because
- 00:04:38when we form an attachment to an object
- 00:04:42whether that's a physical object or a
- 00:04:45kind of
- 00:04:46a neurological compound suspended in our
- 00:04:49own mind
- 00:04:51meaning i suppose that my relationship
- 00:04:53with my work is an object my
- 00:04:55relationship with my wife can become
- 00:04:58an object in my mind if that
- 00:04:59relationship is not
- 00:05:01conscious aware and functional it has
- 00:05:04the potential to cause me pain and often
- 00:05:06and this is a curious thing
- 00:05:08which i believe is where the
- 00:05:11universality
- 00:05:13of the 12 steps comes into his own is i
- 00:05:16nominate external things to be salvation
- 00:05:21to redeem me to make me feel better
- 00:05:23about myself now that is uh that's clear
- 00:05:27and obvious when we're dealing with
- 00:05:29drugs and alcohol so it's no coincidence
- 00:05:31that the 12 steps was devised and
- 00:05:33conceived around alcohol because when a
- 00:05:35person's got an attachment
- 00:05:37to drugs and alcohol the consequences
- 00:05:39are obvious
- 00:05:41the behaviors are observable it's a
- 00:05:45clear and evident problem the way that
- 00:05:47this program
- 00:05:49functions mechanically is that instead
- 00:05:51of regarding a problem in your life as a
- 00:05:54sort of a sign of deterioration or a
- 00:05:57wound it becomes a point of initiation
- 00:06:00and inauguration it's a kind of we make
- 00:06:03a trans a mental translation rather than
- 00:06:06seeing a problem as uh like a deficit or
- 00:06:09a wound we see it instead as a an
- 00:06:12invitation
- 00:06:13how that functions for me is as soon as
- 00:06:15i'm like agitated discontent irritated
- 00:06:19or afraid i don't see that as like
- 00:06:22something erroneous or something that's
- 00:06:24gone wrong with me i see it as a signal
- 00:06:26something that i need to read so
- 00:06:29like
- 00:06:31when you're excessively drinking or
- 00:06:33you're excessively taking drugs or
- 00:06:35you're looking at a lot of porn or
- 00:06:36you're spending a lot of money
- 00:06:38the fuel behind it is a
- 00:06:41craving a yearning a desire to acquire
- 00:06:45an a forging of an attachment to
- 00:06:48external phenomena to ameliorate an
- 00:06:51inner malady
- 00:06:53like and the relationship between this
- 00:06:56the identification this problem and a
- 00:06:57spiritual experience is
- 00:07:00like almost a total one it can be
- 00:07:03difficult to see alcoholism or
- 00:07:07endless spending or obsessive watching
- 00:07:10as pornography as a hankering after a
- 00:07:13spiritual experience but in a very
- 00:07:15obvious way
- 00:07:16what you're trying to do is make
- 00:07:18yourself feel better
- 00:07:20and that is a spiritual issue the
- 00:07:23function of spirituality is to amend the
- 00:07:26way that you feel is to address a kind
- 00:07:30of
- 00:07:30a disalignment a disjunct between your
- 00:07:33inner and outer lives so
- 00:07:36once you've admitted i'm not happy in my
- 00:07:38marriage i'm not happy in my work or
- 00:07:40whatever it is once you've admitted this
- 00:07:41is a problem for me
- 00:07:44that's an opportunity for an inhalation
- 00:07:47and a moment of reflection i've got a
- 00:07:49problem it's like a lot of people won't
- 00:07:52do that have you noticed that in your
- 00:07:54own life a lot of people know i'm very
- 00:07:55happy i'm like i'm happy in this
- 00:07:56relationship i'm happy in this job i'm
- 00:07:58happy drinking i'm happy continually
- 00:08:00getting in fights well
- 00:08:01the 12 steps
- 00:08:03as a point of initiation does require an
- 00:08:06honest appraisal without that
- 00:08:09obviously you can't proceed or progress
- 00:08:11because
- 00:08:12you're not
- 00:08:14open to the possibility of change see
- 00:08:16the the very simple thing is that this
- 00:08:18is a
- 00:08:19program of change whilst it does involve
- 00:08:22some quite um
- 00:08:23potentially esoteric ideas about
- 00:08:27you know consciousness and dare i say it
- 00:08:29god
- 00:08:30it
- 00:08:33is underwritten by the possibility that
- 00:08:37by the optimistic possibility that your
- 00:08:40situation that your life that your
- 00:08:42problems can change once you've admitted
- 00:08:44you've got a problem
- 00:08:47there is a
- 00:08:48opportunity for change so whether you
- 00:08:51want to improve your understanding of
- 00:08:5312-step recovery for application in
- 00:08:56obvious and already identified
- 00:08:59problematic areas such as drugs or
- 00:09:02alcohol
- 00:09:03sex addiction
- 00:09:04porn addiction gambling spending
- 00:09:08excessively in
- 00:09:09not eating enough or
- 00:09:12and this is
- 00:09:13crucial
- 00:09:15at just a vague sense of
- 00:09:17unfulfillment a general sense of
- 00:09:20disconnection or discontentment then i
- 00:09:23believe that this course is going to be
- 00:09:26helpful for you
- 00:09:35step one
- 00:09:38conventionally put
- 00:09:39we admitted that we were powerless over
- 00:09:41our addiction
- 00:09:43and that our life had become
- 00:09:44unmanageable
- 00:09:45is your honest entry point into a
- 00:09:4812-step program given that our remit and
- 00:09:51the way that we're approaching our work
- 00:09:54is that we want to be able to apply this
- 00:09:56program the way that i do across every
- 00:09:58aspect of our life that could be a
- 00:10:00severe addiction issue you could be
- 00:10:02watching this thinking i'm drinking too
- 00:10:05much my drinking is ruining my life i
- 00:10:08need to change it or it could be
- 00:10:10something more vague and difficult to
- 00:10:12identify i don't want to be in
- 00:10:15relationships that make me feel bad
- 00:10:16about myself i don't want to be working
- 00:10:19in a job that's making me feel inferior
- 00:10:23but
- 00:10:24whatever it is that you're working on
- 00:10:26the candid and honest admission that you
- 00:10:29have a problem and that your life is
- 00:10:30unmanageable as a result of that problem
- 00:10:33is our entry point that honest
- 00:10:36acknowledgement
- 00:10:37mentally in my mind at least accompanied
- 00:10:40by the sound of a record scratching off
- 00:10:42a point of arrest i don't want to
- 00:10:45proceed any further down this path when
- 00:10:47i interpreted the 12 steps i changed it
- 00:10:50from a
- 00:10:52rather wordy articulate and brilliant
- 00:10:55appraisal of powerlessness and
- 00:10:58unmanageability to the more succinct and
- 00:11:01perhaps vulgar are you [ __ ]
- 00:11:05if you're watching this video if you've
- 00:11:07subscribed to this if you find yourself
- 00:11:10in a position where you're unhappy and
- 00:11:12lost this is the step one moment the
- 00:11:16moment of i'm i can't cope with this
- 00:11:18anymore i don't want to continue down
- 00:11:20this path anymore
- 00:11:23so
- 00:11:24whatever it is you're dealing with there
- 00:11:26is a further requirement here and that
- 00:11:29requirement is for specificity
- 00:11:32i reckon that the reason that the
- 00:11:3312-step program was initially formulated
- 00:11:36around alcohol and then drugs was that
- 00:11:40when there is a clear and obvious object
- 00:11:43like alcohol and alcoholism
- 00:11:46it becomes
- 00:11:47it's easy to diagnose and it's easy to
- 00:11:51not easy because it's like incredibly
- 00:11:52complex and painful agonizing and
- 00:11:54difficult and a lot of people can't ever
- 00:11:56ever do it but
- 00:11:57at least it is clear
- 00:12:00that
- 00:12:01the the
- 00:12:02alcohol is the thing that needs to be
- 00:12:04removed from your life
- 00:12:05that that your problems are clustering
- 00:12:09around
- 00:12:10your misuse of drink when i think about
- 00:12:12my own like my own step one around crack
- 00:12:16heroin and alcohol firstly actually it
- 00:12:19seemed like a bloody difficult thing to
- 00:12:21accept like when people said the reason
- 00:12:24that you're getting in these the reason
- 00:12:26you're getting in trouble in
- 00:12:27relationships the reason that you don't
- 00:12:29like yourself the reason you've got low
- 00:12:31self-esteem and that you're continually
- 00:12:33getting in trouble the police and that
- 00:12:35nothing's ever working out for you
- 00:12:37because you're drinking and you're
- 00:12:38taking drugs are you willing to one day
- 00:12:40at a time stop drinking and taking drugs
- 00:12:43for a long time the answer was no i
- 00:12:45wasn't willing to see that as the
- 00:12:47problem i wasn't willing to embark on a
- 00:12:50journey of change
- 00:12:52having done that and having seen the
- 00:12:55success of it
- 00:12:56i'm now willing in
- 00:12:58pretty much eventually almost any
- 00:13:01situation to take a 12-step journey
- 00:13:05because
- 00:13:06you know as soon as you've
- 00:13:08removed alcohol and drugs from your life
- 00:13:11if that's the problem you're dealing
- 00:13:12with you are confronted with the
- 00:13:15myriad
- 00:13:17other problems in your life that are
- 00:13:21required to change and
- 00:13:23these things are no longer external
- 00:13:25they're
- 00:13:26internal issues
- 00:13:28so what we have to do when taking the
- 00:13:30step one
- 00:13:32is identify what it is you want to
- 00:13:34change
- 00:13:34i've worked step one around drugs and
- 00:13:37alcohol i've i admitted right yeah my
- 00:13:39drug and alcohol problem
- 00:13:41is i'm powerless over it i can't control
- 00:13:44it once i start i can't stop the
- 00:13:46consequences of me drinking and taking
- 00:13:47drugs are creating unmanageability this
- 00:13:51word unmanageability can be understood
- 00:13:53as
- 00:13:54like once i start drinking and taking
- 00:13:56drugs i don't know where i'm going to
- 00:13:59end up i don't know what the
- 00:14:00consequences are going to be i don't
- 00:14:01know when i'm going to be able to resume
- 00:14:03control of my life again it becomes a
- 00:14:06kind of hell of skeleton
- 00:14:09like
- 00:14:10when applying it to something
- 00:14:12more insidious less obvious like i'm
- 00:14:15powerless over my use of the phone and
- 00:14:17my life has become unmanageable
- 00:14:19it's kind of
- 00:14:21look it there's no doubt that it's more
- 00:14:23subtle but i'm still looking at the
- 00:14:26phone when i don't want to look at the
- 00:14:27phone and it's still making me feel not
- 00:14:29good about myself i don't feel good at
- 00:14:31myself if i'm staring at my phone
- 00:14:33instead of talking to my children i
- 00:14:35don't feel good about myself if i'm like
- 00:14:37unconsciously and
- 00:14:39um
- 00:14:40sort of
- 00:14:42kind of
- 00:14:43somehow my volition is being usurped
- 00:14:47by a bloody device that i've paid for
- 00:14:49that doesn't that doesn't feel good
- 00:14:53that's an another thing that's very
- 00:14:54beautiful about the 12 steps is this
- 00:14:56learning to recognize my own intuition
- 00:14:59and my own feelings as being somehow
- 00:15:02valid the point that i'm feeling unhappy
- 00:15:04or dissatisfied is not something that i
- 00:15:06need to suppress or ignore or get over
- 00:15:08it's the beginning of letting go of
- 00:15:11something it's the beginning of changing
- 00:15:13something
- 00:15:14i am working this program at the moment
- 00:15:17around phone use i'm working it around
- 00:15:20the way that i behave in professional
- 00:15:22environments i'm working this program
- 00:15:24around the way that i treat my wife so
- 00:15:26the
- 00:15:27first thing i have to do is acknowledge
- 00:15:29that it's a problem and that my life is
- 00:15:31unmanageable that in regard to that
- 00:15:33particular issue i'm [ __ ] so at this
- 00:15:36point in working the course you do have
- 00:15:37to clearly identify what it is that you
- 00:15:40want to change that's not to say that
- 00:15:41you can't like me work it across
- 00:15:44multiple issues that's what i do i'm
- 00:15:47right now working it across multiple
- 00:15:50issues but you do need to be specific
- 00:15:52you do need to say i want to change my
- 00:15:55relationship with food i want to change
- 00:15:57the way i talk to my partner i want to
- 00:16:00change my relationship with my sexuality
- 00:16:04or my sexual behavior you do at this
- 00:16:05point need to identify it it's not
- 00:16:07enough to say my whole life's a mess i'm
- 00:16:10generally unhappy
- 00:16:12because you're not
- 00:16:14that doesn't give you a sufficient
- 00:16:16purchase
- 00:16:18for the scaling of this problem you need
- 00:16:22to identify okay what i'm dealing with
- 00:16:24is this so like you know just to give
- 00:16:26you an idea of the scope that it can be
- 00:16:29worked in you know for me initially it
- 00:16:30was cracking heroin i was willing to
- 00:16:32admit that it was a problem i had no
- 00:16:33choice but to admit it was a problem
- 00:16:34that my life had become unmanageable and
- 00:16:37now i'm working it
- 00:16:39around
- 00:16:40my use of technology
- 00:16:43negative thinking
- 00:16:45you know like it can become
- 00:16:47much subtler and it
- 00:16:49is equally successful
- 00:16:53it's obviously harder to work an
- 00:16:56abstinence program around something as
- 00:16:59involuntary as negative thinking
- 00:17:02but what i can do is recognize oh i'm
- 00:17:05habitually engaged in negative
- 00:17:08projection and anxiety
- 00:17:11that's a problem i want to change it now
- 00:17:14once i've done that you know then i can
- 00:17:16if i choose to embark on the rest of the
- 00:17:18steps i can
- 00:17:20accept the possibility of change i can
- 00:17:22ask for help i can
- 00:17:24inventory i can then observe the
- 00:17:26patterns that uh
- 00:17:28recur in these situations i can see if
- 00:17:31anyone else has been harmed as a result
- 00:17:32i can stay aware i can recognize that a
- 00:17:34component of change is going to be
- 00:17:36prayer and meditation
- 00:17:38a changing of my perspective through
- 00:17:41spiritual practices and that the end
- 00:17:44result of all of this is
- 00:17:46to become of service to become of use to
- 00:17:49ultimately change my perspective
- 00:17:51from a kind of infatuation with
- 00:17:54self-fulfillment
- 00:17:55to a willingness to be of service to
- 00:17:58others accompanying this course you have
- 00:17:59some worksheets and materials that you
- 00:18:02can use
- 00:18:03along with this video i mean if looking
- 00:18:05at my face on a laptop or a phone isn't
- 00:18:07sufficient to deliver you to salvation i
- 00:18:10begin to wonder what the hell the
- 00:18:11problem is but there are also some
- 00:18:12written materials i just want to talk
- 00:18:14you through how they work like so
- 00:18:17firstly we identify what we want to
- 00:18:19change for the purposes of this exercise
- 00:18:21my example is like my use of tech
- 00:18:24like even i can be even more specific
- 00:18:26than that looking at my phone in the
- 00:18:28morning first thing when i wake up the
- 00:18:31reason i'm the reason i'm using that
- 00:18:33even though it sort of seems a bit minor
- 00:18:35and trivial is that i'm going to operate
- 00:18:37on the assumption that if you're
- 00:18:39sitting there with drawing from heroin
- 00:18:42or on your way to score more that for a
- 00:18:45start
- 00:18:46you will require additional medical
- 00:18:49psychiatric and therapeutic support but
- 00:18:51also somehow the more subtle the problem
- 00:18:55the more the efficacy of the program is
- 00:18:57demonstrated
- 00:18:59so like in my case i want to change my
- 00:19:02phone use i want to not look at it first
- 00:19:04thing in the morning i don't want my
- 00:19:06phone to be given the job of making me
- 00:19:08feel better about who i am i recognize
- 00:19:10that's an inappropriate function to give
- 00:19:13a
- 00:19:14piece of technical equipment
- 00:19:17next question is what pain or fear do i
- 00:19:19associate with change in this area now
- 00:19:21that sort of might seem like rather
- 00:19:23grand for such a trivial route of
- 00:19:26inquiry but the pain and fear that i
- 00:19:28associate with
- 00:19:29the pain and fear that i associate with
- 00:19:31like not looking at my phone first thing
- 00:19:32in the morning is that i'm kind of
- 00:19:34confronted with the general and vague
- 00:19:36sense of anxiety that i wake up with
- 00:19:39every day that i try to negate with some
- 00:19:42external distraction if i look at my
- 00:19:44phone maybe someone will have sent me a
- 00:19:45text message telling me that i'm
- 00:19:47fantastic russell you're terrific you
- 00:19:50can now rest assured go back to bed turn
- 00:19:52over bury your face back in the pillow
- 00:19:54you're absolutely fine there's nothing
- 00:19:56about you you need to water but in
- 00:19:58reality i know that there'll be things
- 00:19:59on my phone that annoy me work emails
- 00:20:02and suddenly i'm not facing the day i'm
- 00:20:05not embarking on my day thinking about
- 00:20:08how can i be useful how can i help
- 00:20:09others how can i be a better dad today
- 00:20:11i'm sort of already bogged down in the
- 00:20:14in minutiae so the pain and fear that i
- 00:20:17associate with change is that if i wake
- 00:20:19up in the morning and i've not got my
- 00:20:21phone then i've got no excuse to not
- 00:20:23meditate for example that i
- 00:20:26i'm going to be confronted with this
- 00:20:28sort of vast open
- 00:20:31ice scapes
- 00:20:33every day like i like to anchor my day
- 00:20:36to something my new and quotidian
- 00:20:39there's only so much horizon i can bear
- 00:20:41so that's the fear that i associate with
- 00:20:43change in this area
- 00:20:44what pleasure am i getting out of not
- 00:20:46changing the pleasure i get out of not
- 00:20:47changing i guess like with all forms of
- 00:20:49addiction and this is the reason that
- 00:20:51addiction is a perfect metaphor for a
- 00:20:52material attachment is that
- 00:20:56with an addictive behavior this is like
- 00:20:59this is a sort of an experiment that
- 00:21:00could be run in a lab with a rat you
- 00:21:03reward like i'm rewarded about one in
- 00:21:06every five times that i engage in an
- 00:21:08addictive behavior it was the same with
- 00:21:09drugs it was the same with sex same with
- 00:21:11pornography once in a while it's
- 00:21:13fantastic it's terrific
- 00:21:15but the rest of the time it's pretty
- 00:21:16dismal and disappointing as all forms of
- 00:21:19a material attachment ultimately will be
- 00:21:22there is no way that i can make myself
- 00:21:24feel spiritually fulfilled or even
- 00:21:26comforted by looking at a phone or
- 00:21:29smoking crack not long term eventually
- 00:21:32it will lead me to a point of
- 00:21:33disappointment and dismay because these
- 00:21:36objects are not capable of addressing an
- 00:21:39inner melody
- 00:21:40what pleasure am i getting out of not
- 00:21:42changing the pleasure i'm getting out of
- 00:21:43not changing is once in a while it works
- 00:21:46for me once in a while
- 00:21:48someone will text me and say you've got
- 00:21:49this job or you're terrific
- 00:21:52it's never enough and in a way
- 00:21:54the problem even with the positive
- 00:21:56outcome is it
- 00:21:59it engages me for longer in a behavior
- 00:22:02that isn't ultimately beneficial so i'd
- 00:22:04be better off to
- 00:22:06like as soon as i consciously engage
- 00:22:08with that behavior and i'm willing to
- 00:22:10change it
- 00:22:11the
- 00:22:12possibility of real change of real
- 00:22:14improvement begins
- 00:22:17what will it cost me if this doesn't
- 00:22:19change is the next question like and
- 00:22:21again you know if you're dealing with
- 00:22:23heroin or you're dealing with paying sex
- 00:22:26workers and like when you're in a
- 00:22:28marriage or you're dealing with like
- 00:22:30looking furtively at porn continually
- 00:22:34it's kind of more obvious to sort of
- 00:22:35identify what it's going to cost you
- 00:22:37it's going to cost you your self-esteem
- 00:22:38is going to cost you
- 00:22:40your relationship with your partner but
- 00:22:43like when it's like looking at the phone
- 00:22:44well you know it's less obvious but it's
- 00:22:46still evident what it cost me is my
- 00:22:48peace of mind it cost me my autonomy it
- 00:22:50cost me
- 00:22:52freedom like i'm designating an object
- 00:22:56as a kind of uh
- 00:22:58as a stimulant for happiness i suppose
- 00:23:01that's why the addiction metaphor is a
- 00:23:04good one stimulus response as a means
- 00:23:07for living
- 00:23:08this is the way that consumerism and
- 00:23:10materialism operate this is why i think
- 00:23:14addiction is rife because we are
- 00:23:17continually taught that we can fulfill
- 00:23:20ourselves improve ourselves advance
- 00:23:22ourselves with the acquisition of an
- 00:23:25external material object or through the
- 00:23:29validation and approval of other people
- 00:23:32that for me has the same sort of
- 00:23:34paradigm shape as
- 00:23:37here is some heroin i've taken the
- 00:23:38heroine here is some alcohol i've taken
- 00:23:40that alcohol here is pornography i've
- 00:23:41used the pornography wherever you are
- 00:23:44on the scale if you're using an external
- 00:23:47object as a
- 00:23:50tool to ameliorate in a malady you're
- 00:23:53engaged in addiction any behavior that
- 00:23:56you're engaged in that you want to
- 00:23:58change and when you try to change it or
- 00:24:00try to stop it you can't i think can
- 00:24:02rightly be referred to as addiction
- 00:24:05to keep it specific again what benefits
- 00:24:07can i have what benefits could i expect
- 00:24:10from changing my phone use again if
- 00:24:12you're talking about stopping drinking
- 00:24:13alcohol the benefits are obvious i'm
- 00:24:15going to save money i'm going to feel
- 00:24:16healthier i'm gonna lose weight i'm not
- 00:24:18gonna feel that constant despair of
- 00:24:21alcoholism vomiting and belching my way
- 00:24:23for every day when it's something sort
- 00:24:25of seemingly minor but like phone use
- 00:24:27what benefits will i get well you know
- 00:24:29the truth is that i have begun to change
- 00:24:32that behavior for one week i stopped
- 00:24:34charging my phone in my bedroom i charge
- 00:24:36it downstairs i don't look at it first
- 00:24:38thing in the morning
- 00:24:40and what happens is
- 00:24:41like i feel
- 00:24:43i feel
- 00:24:44in a sense it's
- 00:24:46with a subtler form of behavioral change
- 00:24:48like not using my phone to soothe myself
- 00:24:51in the morning the benefit i feel is not
- 00:24:54immediately obvious the thing that i
- 00:24:56felt most immediately was a bit
- 00:24:58inconvenienced and a bit put out by not
- 00:25:00having my phone there but two or three
- 00:25:02days in i started to feel a kind of
- 00:25:05relief
- 00:25:06none of us
- 00:25:07feel good about how we've been envigored
- 00:25:10and hypnotised by technology and having
- 00:25:13for me as a person that works at 12-step
- 00:25:15program
- 00:25:16recognizing that i can
- 00:25:18alter my behavior around something as
- 00:25:20seemingly minor as that it's
- 00:25:23fulfilling there's a relief in it so
- 00:25:26that one of the benefits are that in the
- 00:25:28morning now when i wake up i'm thinking
- 00:25:30about dealing with the people i live
- 00:25:32with and love not dealing with a [ __ ]
- 00:25:35telephone so for our purposes today
- 00:25:39what we want is a clear understanding of
- 00:25:41what it is we're willing to change
- 00:25:44before we fill out our worksheets which
- 00:25:47you know i'll be doing in my own little
- 00:25:49life you'll be doing over there in your
- 00:25:51world before we embark on that
- 00:25:53let's take a moment to consider
- 00:25:57and to commit to what it is we want to
- 00:25:58change that could be something as
- 00:26:00obvious and severe as substance misuse
- 00:26:03or something as subtle and seemingly
- 00:26:05trivial as
- 00:26:07technological attachment such as i've
- 00:26:09been describing but whatever it is
- 00:26:12let's
- 00:26:13envisage it
- 00:26:15commit to it and be very clear that the
- 00:26:18reason we're working the 12 steps around
- 00:26:20this particular issue
- 00:26:22is we acknowledge it's a problem at this
- 00:26:25point the step one juncture that's all
- 00:26:28that's required of you
- 00:26:30this is a problem
- 00:26:31i want to change it
- 00:26:33just an honest acknowledgement of that
- 00:26:37so take a moment
- 00:26:40wherever you are in the world not if
- 00:26:41you're operating heavy machinery and
- 00:26:43that's not the ideal situation to
- 00:26:44conduct this course in i may say if
- 00:26:47you're driving a bus or a tube train
- 00:26:50or an aircraft
- 00:26:53complete that
- 00:26:54then undertake this course take a moment
- 00:26:56to acknowledge what is it i want to
- 00:26:58change i mean i might say don't step one
- 00:27:00don't fly a boeing 747 while doing a
- 00:27:05self-help video that's like a problem
- 00:27:07you can start working on in your life
- 00:27:09so take a moment to acknowledge what it
- 00:27:10is you want to change to make a
- 00:27:12commitment to it
- 00:27:14so for me as i've said
- 00:27:16i don't want to be dependent on my phone
- 00:27:19for approval anymore i don't want my
- 00:27:22phone to be anything other in fact than
- 00:27:24the tool for communication so now
- 00:27:27right from this moment on far more when
- 00:27:29i filled in this worksheet
- 00:27:31whenever i engage in that behavior i
- 00:27:33will recognize
- 00:27:34wow because you know like i may not
- 00:27:36immediately change because this isn't as
- 00:27:39severe and pronounced as heroin and
- 00:27:41people relapse on drugs all the time but
- 00:27:44once you've acknowledged it's a problem
- 00:27:45once you've made that mental commitment
- 00:27:48then you can never again undertake that
- 00:27:50behavior with the same kind of
- 00:27:53cavalier innocence it's been clocked
- 00:27:57you've grasped yourself up you've
- 00:27:59acknowledged this is a problem that's
- 00:28:01what step one is
- 00:28:03it's the first step on the 12-step
- 00:28:06journey this is a problem i want to
- 00:28:08change
- 00:28:10[Music]
- 00:28:17step two in the original form is we came
- 00:28:19to believe that power greater than
- 00:28:21ourselves could restore us to sanity
- 00:28:23there's a lot to unpack in there really
- 00:28:25firstly the idea that we are
- 00:28:27acknowledging that our behavior has been
- 00:28:29insane
- 00:28:30secondly that there is a power greater
- 00:28:33than ourselves
- 00:28:34that's an
- 00:28:35interesting thing to address because
- 00:28:38often unconsciously while we're embedded
- 00:28:41in our problem we're accepting and
- 00:28:44inhabiting this kind of odd negative
- 00:28:46omnipotence i'm worthless i'm a terrible
- 00:28:49person my life is a mess and yet somehow
- 00:28:52i'm the ultimate authority in my own
- 00:28:54life unable to conceive even of a power
- 00:28:57greater than myself
- 00:28:59completely consumed by selfishness
- 00:29:02completely consumed by self-centeredness
- 00:29:04this is where the 12-step program again
- 00:29:07aligns with spiritual ideas that are
- 00:29:11much older
- 00:29:12and
- 00:29:13much more mysterious and in some senses
- 00:29:17allude to a potency that's
- 00:29:20here used in a very practical way a
- 00:29:23power greater than ourselves the
- 00:29:26acknowledgment that i am not the summit
- 00:29:29of all power it's the
- 00:29:31teasing of the notion that there's
- 00:29:34somewhere to go that there's somewhere
- 00:29:36to get to now when i
- 00:29:38reinterpret the steps step two for me
- 00:29:41was could you not be [ __ ] is that is
- 00:29:43this all that there is are you
- 00:29:46doomed cain like to wander the world
- 00:29:49[ __ ] for all eternity cast out of eden
- 00:29:53in your fuckness
- 00:29:55but in the more uh traditional version
- 00:29:59of step two
- 00:30:00the evocation of a power greater than
- 00:30:02yourself is a beautiful and powerful
- 00:30:05thing
- 00:30:06you
- 00:30:06know it can be and
- 00:30:10for me is the idea of god of ultimate
- 00:30:13power of omnipotence of ultimate grace
- 00:30:17but more practicably someone said to me
- 00:30:19and it's worth acknowledging at this
- 00:30:21point that everything i've got to say
- 00:30:23that's of any value was once said to me
- 00:30:26by someone else and the stuff that
- 00:30:27sounds crazy i'm probably improvising
- 00:30:30someone said to me
- 00:30:32all this power has to do
- 00:30:35that's greater than yourself is move you
- 00:30:37from
- 00:30:38drinking all the time
- 00:30:40to not drinking all the time
- 00:30:43can you see people that are using this
- 00:30:45program to not drink all the time have
- 00:30:48you met people that used to take drugs
- 00:30:51every day continually and now one day at
- 00:30:54a time never take drugs
- 00:30:56well now 16 and a half years into work
- 00:30:59in this program around substance misuse
- 00:31:01i am one of those people i used to drink
- 00:31:03and take drugs every single day but some
- 00:31:07somehow something happened on december
- 00:31:09the 13th 2002 that meant that from that
- 00:31:12day onward one day at a time i didn't
- 00:31:15need to drink or take drugs now i apply
- 00:31:18this program in numerous areas of my
- 00:31:21life
- 00:31:22and every time i use it it works it's
- 00:31:24kind of like brazilian jiu jitsu
- 00:31:26brazilian jiu jitsu works if it's not
- 00:31:29working for you you're not [ __ ] doing
- 00:31:31it properly the results are in on
- 00:31:33brazilian jiu jitsu it works it's the
- 00:31:35same with the 12-step program if it's
- 00:31:37not working you're not working it
- 00:31:39properly
- 00:31:40step two is about hope whether it's hope
- 00:31:44that you can change substance misuse
- 00:31:46hope that you can change the way that
- 00:31:48you treat your partner
- 00:31:50whatever it is it's inviting and
- 00:31:53accepting the possibility of change that
- 00:31:56there is a power that can change you
- 00:31:58from a person that drinks and takes
- 00:31:59drugs to a person who doesn't drink and
- 00:32:01take drugs to a person who's obsessed
- 00:32:03about what other people think of you and
- 00:32:04don't feel good enough unless you get
- 00:32:05continual approval to a person who can
- 00:32:07quite happily live without that
- 00:32:09and here is another key component one
- 00:32:12day at a time
- 00:32:13none of us can ever attack the glacial
- 00:32:16edifice of forever it's too much for us
- 00:32:19not to mention it's an abstract concept
- 00:32:21you will never be living the whole rest
- 00:32:23of your life in one particular moment
- 00:32:26you will be living your life in tiny
- 00:32:29bite-sized chunks unless like me you
- 00:32:32occasionally try to inhabit the
- 00:32:34imaginary projection of forever an
- 00:32:38unbearable place to be an unlovely
- 00:32:42safari to find yourself in in your own
- 00:32:44mind
- 00:32:45a power greater than myself has restored
- 00:32:48me to sanity a power greater than myself
- 00:32:51can continually take me out of my
- 00:32:54madness and deposit me once again
- 00:32:56in a kind of simple comfort it is
- 00:32:58possible for me to not be [ __ ] i've
- 00:33:00seen people that are terrible drug
- 00:33:02addicts stop taking drugs i've seen
- 00:33:04people that
- 00:33:06are obsessed with themselves and
- 00:33:07obsessed with sex any of the numerous
- 00:33:10manifestation of the condition of
- 00:33:11addiction or attachment or whatever you
- 00:33:13want to call it can be addressed
- 00:33:16by using this program
- 00:33:18so step two
- 00:33:21came to believe that a power greater
- 00:33:23than ourselves could restore us to
- 00:33:25sanity
- 00:33:27there is a power great in ourselves
- 00:33:29we are insane it's possible for us to
- 00:33:32change it's a step that's based on hope
- 00:33:36on your worksheets you'll see that the
- 00:33:37first question is do i need to change in
- 00:33:40a sense that's a reiteration of the step
- 00:33:42one principle just to really goad you
- 00:33:45over the line there just in case you've
- 00:33:47already taken step one you've taken a
- 00:33:49deep breath you've shut your eyes and
- 00:33:50you've already gone oh [ __ ] it no i
- 00:33:52don't need to change i want to plow on
- 00:33:54if you recognize that you need to change
- 00:33:56that you want to change that you've
- 00:33:58accepted that change is necessary
- 00:34:02we're now creating the conditions for
- 00:34:04change to take place
- 00:34:06the second question do i accept that
- 00:34:08change means that i have to think and
- 00:34:10act differently
- 00:34:11it's quite a difficult proposal to
- 00:34:14accept because i often want when i say
- 00:34:17that you know often when i'm challenged
- 00:34:20by something when i've acknowledged that
- 00:34:22i've got a problem really what i want is
- 00:34:24my outer life to confer conform to my
- 00:34:27wishes i don't want to act differently i
- 00:34:29don't want to think differently but this
- 00:34:32program makes clear that i have a kind
- 00:34:35of personal authority and autonomy and
- 00:34:39that the responsibility for change lies
- 00:34:42with me i will have to start doing
- 00:34:44things that i haven't previously done i
- 00:34:47will have to stop doing things that i've
- 00:34:49previously been doing it's a difficult
- 00:34:52thing to embrace
- 00:34:54so when i notice myself thinking the
- 00:34:56same thoughts like oh i want to look at
- 00:34:58my phone straight away i want to see if
- 00:35:00there's been you know an email from
- 00:35:02another nation
- 00:35:04verifying me
- 00:35:05showering me with digital
- 00:35:07self-validation
- 00:35:09i have to think differently i have to go
- 00:35:11no i've taken step one around looking at
- 00:35:13my phone that's something i'm powerless
- 00:35:15over and that made my life unmanageable
- 00:35:16i don't want to do that anymore now i've
- 00:35:18come to believe that power greater than
- 00:35:19myself can restore me to sanity that
- 00:35:21it's not necessary that i don't live in
- 00:35:23a universe without options or choices
- 00:35:25that this is just the standard that for
- 00:35:27me every day has to be the relentless
- 00:35:29march of glancing at the phone i now
- 00:35:31recognize it's possible to not do that
- 00:35:34so i have to think and act differently i
- 00:35:37have to move from a state where i'm
- 00:35:38dependent on that behavior to a state
- 00:35:41where i welcome the terrifying abyss of
- 00:35:45not knowing
- 00:35:46you know in a sense all addiction and
- 00:35:48repeated behaviors is an attempt to
- 00:35:50provide a kind of regulation a sort of
- 00:35:54self-evoked parentheses to hold me in
- 00:35:58the horror of this world in a world that
- 00:36:00doesn't provide us with enough
- 00:36:02structures and systems and comforts
- 00:36:04when someone said to me once well done
- 00:36:06you how clever of you to become a heroin
- 00:36:08addict how you found a way out you found
- 00:36:11a way of dealing with your feelings in a
- 00:36:13sense any of us that have got some
- 00:36:15behavior that's no longer working for us
- 00:36:17should be applauded for at least
- 00:36:18attempting to make life manageable but
- 00:36:21the problem is as we learned in step one
- 00:36:23that behavior is no longer working it
- 00:36:26has to be arrested it has to be
- 00:36:28addressed
- 00:36:29now we tentatively somewhat timidly
- 00:36:33embark on a journey of hope it's pretty
- 00:36:36frightening it's frightening to be a
- 00:36:38drug addict and put down drugs it's
- 00:36:41frightening to be a co-dependent person
- 00:36:43and say no i'm going to relate to my
- 00:36:45partner differently now these
- 00:36:48these
- 00:36:49changes mean that you are confronted by
- 00:36:51the fear that you were trying to avoid
- 00:36:53by indulging in that behavior in the
- 00:36:55first place that's why something as
- 00:36:58seemingly parochial and mundane as not
- 00:37:00looking at my phone for me can be a sort
- 00:37:03of
- 00:37:04like slices open the intestines of my
- 00:37:07self-obsession and dread of the world
- 00:37:09like suddenly here i am eviscerated
- 00:37:12confronted with oh my god the reason you
- 00:37:14were looking your phone is because you
- 00:37:16can't bear to be you the reason you're
- 00:37:18masturbating is because you can't bear
- 00:37:20to be you the reason you're thinking if
- 00:37:22i get that rise if i get that job if i
- 00:37:24make that movie oh it's because you
- 00:37:26can't bear to be you and there's a
- 00:37:28reason that you can't be it bear to be
- 00:37:29you and that's because there is no you
- 00:37:32the entire thing is a construct made up
- 00:37:34of biochemical drives and memory not
- 00:37:36that you're not a unique and wonderful
- 00:37:39human individual as unique as your own
- 00:37:41fingerprint of course you are the whole
- 00:37:43point of 12-step recovery is to recover
- 00:37:45the person you are intended to be that
- 00:37:47assumes that there was an innate
- 00:37:49teleology that you were embarking upon
- 00:37:52as surely as a seed becomes a tree no
- 00:37:55one would question that ordinary miracle
- 00:37:57that encapsulated there within the acorn
- 00:38:00is the miracle of the mighty oak none of
- 00:38:03us questions that and few oak trees in
- 00:38:05their adolescent sapling stage have some
- 00:38:08overbearing father or negligent mother
- 00:38:11barking at them that they're too fat or
- 00:38:13they're not good enough or they'll never
- 00:38:15be as good as their brother tree the
- 00:38:17journey of recovery step two in
- 00:38:19particular takes you back to a place
- 00:38:22where you recognize that you were going
- 00:38:24somewhere that there is a better version
- 00:38:26of you this is the beauty and the
- 00:38:27optimism of this program that you are
- 00:38:30not worthless that your own belief that
- 00:38:32you are worthless is as much as an
- 00:38:34illusion that you could make yourself
- 00:38:35happy with a life of endless ferraris
- 00:38:38and blow jobs we know that's an illusion
- 00:38:40now particularly if you're a fragile and
- 00:38:43awkward driver such as myself i struggle
- 00:38:45anyway even when i'm trying to stay bang
- 00:38:47on that highway code a few twitches in
- 00:38:50the region of the groin is the last
- 00:38:51thing i need
- 00:38:53straight into the crash barriers
- 00:38:55so step two
- 00:38:58is about hope is about positivity it's
- 00:39:01the acceptance that there is a better
- 00:39:03you waiting to be born
- 00:39:06part of step two is having a conception
- 00:39:08of a higher power that might be
- 00:39:10difficult for you because your previous
- 00:39:11experiences with god and religion
- 00:39:14and spirituality might have been
- 00:39:17negative you might have experienced so
- 00:39:18much pain and trauma and suffering in
- 00:39:20your life that the idea of believing in
- 00:39:22god now seems sort of naive and
- 00:39:24superstitious and there's been times in
- 00:39:26my life that i've thought that you know
- 00:39:28that religion is for sort of crazy
- 00:39:31white people and
- 00:39:32fragile mad frantic brown people
- 00:39:35religion gets bad pr the only time you
- 00:39:38encounter religion these days is someone
- 00:39:42has committed some atrocity or someone's
- 00:39:44not letting someone else do what they
- 00:39:46want in a bedroom or a clinic you know
- 00:39:48but this is not the religion or the
- 00:39:50spirituality that we're dealing with
- 00:39:51here this is really this is spirituality
- 00:39:54as you understand it a power greater
- 00:39:56than yourself as you understand it this
- 00:39:58for me is not an opportunity to be glib
- 00:40:01you shouldn't be like
- 00:40:02nominating some ridiculous abstract
- 00:40:05caricature of god or some sort of simple
- 00:40:09obvious dumb deity oh well could a power
- 00:40:11greater than myself just be this statue
- 00:40:14no
- 00:40:15it's
- 00:40:16for me
- 00:40:17this conception of god this invitation
- 00:40:19to believe in a power greater than
- 00:40:21yourself
- 00:40:23it can be very um
- 00:40:25humbling
- 00:40:26because it's it felt to me like a return
- 00:40:29to a sort of innocence
- 00:40:32you know like most cynics and skeptics
- 00:40:36are
- 00:40:37wounded
- 00:40:38it's hard to once again
- 00:40:41open your heart particularly if
- 00:40:44you've just let go of a behavior
- 00:40:48or a substance that was holding your
- 00:40:50life together and stripped of that
- 00:40:52carapace you're now being invited to
- 00:40:56open your mind to the possibility of a
- 00:40:58power great than yourself
- 00:41:00the important thing of course is it's
- 00:41:02not being prescribed to you
- 00:41:04it's not some austere
- 00:41:07patriarchal
- 00:41:08figure
- 00:41:09it's not some hand-me-down deity from a
- 00:41:13culture that doesn't love you
- 00:41:16it's simply a personal willingness
- 00:41:20to
- 00:41:21accept or even inquire
- 00:41:24into the idea
- 00:41:26of a better version of yourself
- 00:41:29of a way out
- 00:41:31of a way out of the synaptic code the
- 00:41:33neurological trap that you've been
- 00:41:36inhabiting that's no longer working for
- 00:41:38you if that's that could be something as
- 00:41:41disposable as i want to change the way i
- 00:41:44use the phone it could be something as
- 00:41:46life-altering as i can't continue to
- 00:41:50drink or take drugs whether it's
- 00:41:52an overtly radical change
- 00:41:55or a small change as you continue your
- 00:41:58journey of self-improvement
- 00:42:01step two is a necessity
- 00:42:03and an understanding and an acceptance
- 00:42:06of a power greater than yourself
- 00:42:09is a necessary component but consider
- 00:42:11the alternative but there is no power
- 00:42:14greater than yourself isn't that even
- 00:42:16more crazy that you've already fully
- 00:42:18inhabited all possibility the sort of
- 00:42:21narcissistic whiplash of that that this
- 00:42:25is the only you that you could ever be
- 00:42:27that's more insane than the idea that
- 00:42:30there is
- 00:42:31a
- 00:42:33better you waiting for you to arrive
- 00:42:36step two
- 00:42:38like much of the 12-step program
- 00:42:41is a very broad spectrum you could
- 00:42:44approach it
- 00:42:46with deep esotericism you could spend
- 00:42:48time now contemplating the nature of god
- 00:42:52the nature of being the nature of
- 00:42:54consciousness the possibility of
- 00:42:57migrating from one aspect of yourself to
- 00:43:00another the idea that you may already be
- 00:43:04a kind of shell that the pain the call
- 00:43:07to arms that you felt and acknowledged
- 00:43:09in step one was merely the commencement
- 00:43:13of a metamorphoses for we know don't we
- 00:43:17that the caterpillar don't merely sprout
- 00:43:19antenna and wings in that poo pie
- 00:43:22not poo pie not some fecal pastry no
- 00:43:26in the cocoon
- 00:43:28that the caterpillar
- 00:43:31deconstitutes
- 00:43:32entirely becomes as liquid that there is
- 00:43:36a kind of death of the old self the
- 00:43:38metamorphoses to take place
- 00:43:41step two is about hope
- 00:43:44just a gentle acceptance of fragile hope
- 00:43:49do these worksheets complete the step
- 00:43:52two worksheet and then spend a moment
- 00:43:55reflecting
- 00:43:57on the gentle possibility
- 00:43:59that you can become a different version
- 00:44:01of yourself that you needn't continually
- 00:44:05be occupied by the thoughts that you've
- 00:44:07had that you are more
- 00:44:09than a vessel for concepts and ideas
- 00:44:12particularly if these concepts and ideas
- 00:44:15are painful for you
- 00:44:17step two
- 00:44:19is embarking on this journey with hope
- 00:44:23with optimism with the fragile belief
- 00:44:26that you may be beautiful that there may
- 00:44:28be a wonderful life for you that you
- 00:44:31needn't live in the tethered misery of
- 00:44:36post-enlightenment rationalism if i may
- 00:44:38be so bold
- 00:44:40we are born we are material we die we
- 00:44:43live in a bag of skin we are organs
- 00:44:47functioning in some delicate inner
- 00:44:50ballet that will one day necessarily end
- 00:44:53what is behind this cosmology what is
- 00:44:57behind it how is the material world
- 00:45:00suspended
- 00:45:02held continuing is there a way that we
- 00:45:05can access it through ritual through
- 00:45:08prayer through practice all we need to
- 00:45:10do is invite these possibilities into
- 00:45:13our mind to
- 00:45:15let the drawbridge down to allow
- 00:45:17yourself to be bare to hope to dare to
- 00:45:21feel to look for a moment beyond the
- 00:45:24fear of self-prohibiting belief and to
- 00:45:27accept that there is another way this is
- 00:45:30where this program will take you
- 00:45:32spend a moment
- 00:45:34believing that it is possible for you to
- 00:45:36change
- 00:45:38then you will be ready to do step three
- 00:45:42[Music]
- 00:45:49step three is are you on your own gonna
- 00:45:52unfuck yourself or put another way
- 00:45:56if the answer to your problems was in
- 00:45:58your own head you would have found it by
- 00:46:00now
- 00:46:01in the original formulation step three
- 00:46:04is written we made a decision to turn
- 00:46:06our life and our will over to the care
- 00:46:08of god as we understood god this is an
- 00:46:12acknowledgment that our plan is not
- 00:46:14working that what we've been doing up
- 00:46:16till now whether it's habitual drinking
- 00:46:19habitual drug use or obsessive looking
- 00:46:22at the phone is no longer a successful
- 00:46:25method for dealing with the problem of
- 00:46:27being you it's a willingness to let go
- 00:46:30of your plan
- 00:46:32the first three steps are creating the
- 00:46:34conditions laying the foundation for the
- 00:46:37more mechanized and dare i say academic
- 00:46:41aspects of this program step four and
- 00:46:44five are about inventory and confession
- 00:46:47but step three is an aspect of this
- 00:46:50program that i continually return to
- 00:46:52because whenever i've got a problem
- 00:46:53whenever i'm in pain whenever i'm
- 00:46:54unhappy i have to at least be open to
- 00:46:57the possibility that the reason for it
- 00:46:59is that i think i'm in control of the
- 00:47:01universe it's often that whether i'm sat
- 00:47:05in traffic ranting and raving or if i'm
- 00:47:08trying to control my personal
- 00:47:10relationships this
- 00:47:12mistaken belief that i am personally in
- 00:47:15charge of the world leads me to conflict
- 00:47:18and discomfort like so
- 00:47:22once i admit there's a problem
- 00:47:24it's possible that the problem could
- 00:47:26change
- 00:47:27i'm now
- 00:47:29ready for a bit of a kicker that and and
- 00:47:31that is that it's not me that's going to
- 00:47:34bring about these new conditions not
- 00:47:37using the techniques and methods i've
- 00:47:39been using up to now that's very obvious
- 00:47:41when like if your plan is what's your
- 00:47:43plan russell well what i thought i'd do
- 00:47:45is i'd smoke crack and heroin every day
- 00:47:48and create psychological conditions i
- 00:47:50can live with is the plan going well oh
- 00:47:52not really actually i've become
- 00:47:54unemployable and no one can ever love me
- 00:47:57okay and with a less obvious example
- 00:48:00like the phone news what's your plan
- 00:48:02russell oh i'm gonna make myself feel
- 00:48:03good because hopefully someone on
- 00:48:05twitter will have said that they like my
- 00:48:07hair is it working
- 00:48:09is it is there enough compliments do we
- 00:48:12need to dig shelley from the cold dead
- 00:48:15earth so that he can write some ode to
- 00:48:18your hair that might finally fill you up
- 00:48:21or is your plan not working do you need
- 00:48:24another plan are you willing to we know
- 00:48:27that i've admitted that there's a
- 00:48:28problem we know that i've come to
- 00:48:30believe that a power greater than myself
- 00:48:31can restore me insanity i've done those
- 00:48:33worksheets and you shouldn't be even
- 00:48:34watching this if you haven't done those
- 00:48:36things so you're there too you've
- 00:48:37admitted you've got a problem you know
- 00:48:39it's possible for that problem to change
- 00:48:41and now we're ready to accept a new
- 00:48:44system now we're ready to step out of
- 00:48:46our previous modality our personal kubla
- 00:48:50khan of domed authority where we are our
- 00:48:54own personal jesus our own deity
- 00:48:58making free wishes to ourselves and
- 00:49:00never remembering to wish for infinite
- 00:49:03more wishes with the last one trapped in
- 00:49:06an infinite loop of misery so for me
- 00:49:11step three is essentially like oh
- 00:49:14man as i wrote it are you on your own
- 00:49:17gonna unfuck yourself no i'm not i've
- 00:49:20looked at my life i've seen what's going
- 00:49:22down what happens is this i have
- 00:49:23unfulfilling relationships i get kicked
- 00:49:25out of jobs i piss people off i'm lonely
- 00:49:29i'm unhappy now like i've had the gift
- 00:49:31of living
- 00:49:33up to the point when i stopped taking
- 00:49:34drugs a pretty extreme life and then if
- 00:49:36bloody hell to be honest
- 00:49:39it continued being extreme because i was
- 00:49:41dealing with things like fame and
- 00:49:43celebrity which
- 00:49:44believe me are pretty toxic and
- 00:49:47addictive in themselves what is fame
- 00:49:50other than
- 00:49:52placing an image of yourself in the
- 00:49:54world and then having some relationship
- 00:49:56with this mad abstraction over which
- 00:49:58you've got no bloody control
- 00:50:02but every so often like all forms of
- 00:50:04addiction throws you a bone gets you
- 00:50:06into a restaurant and other forms of
- 00:50:09reward which hardly need further
- 00:50:12explanation the evidence is that i need
- 00:50:15help
- 00:50:16i need
- 00:50:18help
- 00:50:19it's a
- 00:50:20it's a step that i've noticed people
- 00:50:22don't like taking
- 00:50:24people don't like accepting that
- 00:50:28they don't have the resources to change
- 00:50:30their own life people don't like being
- 00:50:33humbled
- 00:50:34i suppose there's a correlation between
- 00:50:38humility and humiliation
- 00:50:41i've experienced quite a lot of
- 00:50:42humiliation in my life my life has led
- 00:50:44me to these sort of
- 00:50:47junctions of despair where i felt
- 00:50:49annihilated and worthless and i found it
- 00:50:53difficult to discern between
- 00:50:56humility and humiliation
- 00:50:59the dictionary definition and geez why
- 00:51:02not go with that of humility is
- 00:51:04awareness of one's relative
- 00:51:06insignificance this needn't be a tool
- 00:51:09for berating the self oh i'm scum i'm
- 00:51:12not good enough it's just a kind of
- 00:51:14awareness that within the scope of the
- 00:51:16limitless
- 00:51:17my hopes and dreams and aspirations and
- 00:51:20my fears and my self-flagellation and my
- 00:51:22self-loathing
- 00:51:24are
- 00:51:25not of absolute
- 00:51:27value they are not
- 00:51:29sublimely valuable they are not
- 00:51:32ultimately valuable
- 00:51:33the humility becomes a kind of uh
- 00:51:38fulcrum a launch pad for a different
- 00:51:41perspective
- 00:51:43the acknowledgement the acceptance that
- 00:51:45my plan isn't working whether my plan is
- 00:51:49become famous take loads of drugs have
- 00:51:52loads of sex
- 00:51:54look at the phone all the time whatever
- 00:51:56this plan is
- 00:51:58is not working
- 00:52:00what's kind of beautiful
- 00:52:03is the recognition that the drive the
- 00:52:05wanting the yearning behind it is not
- 00:52:08inherently bad
- 00:52:11that it's a kind of in a sense
- 00:52:14neutral force that we can guide and
- 00:52:18direct
- 00:52:20that
- 00:52:20of our own
- 00:52:22metal of our own steam
- 00:52:25we've not directed particularly well
- 00:52:27like myself i always have a tendency to
- 00:52:29believe that other people's approval
- 00:52:32money fame celebrity power prestige
- 00:52:34privilege these things will make me
- 00:52:35better my experience is none of them
- 00:52:37ever do and whenever i arrive at the
- 00:52:39desperation that i'm deposited at when
- 00:52:41all my plans go wrong i became i become
- 00:52:43once again willing to be taught that
- 00:52:46seems to be my journey
- 00:52:49for me
- 00:52:50as soon as i succumb to pride and
- 00:52:52self-centeredness
- 00:52:54i'm vulnerable the journey is begun
- 00:52:56sooner or later i'm gonna be
- 00:52:59cut down i'm gonna be disappointed i'm
- 00:53:01gonna be hurt once i'm in pride once i'm
- 00:53:03in ego pain is coming to have a more
- 00:53:06specific understanding of step three
- 00:53:07look at your worksheets ask yourself am
- 00:53:09i unsatisfied in my personal
- 00:53:11relationships am i unsatisfied in my
- 00:53:13work
- 00:53:14well
- 00:53:15obviously at this point we've admitted
- 00:53:17we've got a problem we've come to
- 00:53:18believe that power grating ourselves can
- 00:53:20restore us to sanity and now we're
- 00:53:22starting to accept that we're going to
- 00:53:24need a new plan that this
- 00:53:27that authority
- 00:53:29can be
- 00:53:30benevolent kind and compassionate this
- 00:53:33is where this conception of a higher
- 00:53:35power starts to play a significant role
- 00:53:37in our progress a power grating
- 00:53:39ourselves that isn't
- 00:53:41a negative
- 00:53:43authoritative power not some personal
- 00:53:46despot that's going to ensure continuing
- 00:53:49punishment but loving authority it was
- 00:53:52only when i started working this program
- 00:53:55and started to
- 00:53:56attend support groups
- 00:53:59based around the 12 steps that i began
- 00:54:01to encounter
- 00:54:03authority
- 00:54:04that was
- 00:54:07compassionate and kind
- 00:54:09mike's early life experiences of
- 00:54:11authority were either inefficient
- 00:54:14negligent incompetent or downright
- 00:54:17malevolent
- 00:54:19but when you're working a 12-step
- 00:54:20program you are
- 00:54:22participating in a mentality and our
- 00:54:25ideology and a community that is about
- 00:54:28reaching beyond the self by its very
- 00:54:30nature it's about overcoming the
- 00:54:33pitfalls of an egocentric lifestyle of
- 00:54:37an egocentric world view
- 00:54:39so
- 00:54:40it's a pl it's safe to accept this plan
- 00:54:44we don't need to have that kind of um
- 00:54:48fee braille
- 00:54:49anxious
- 00:54:51resistance to other people's ideas that
- 00:54:54i know that i personally felt my
- 00:54:56assumption was
- 00:54:58i can't trust nobody i can't trust
- 00:55:00nobody but the conditions and codes of
- 00:55:04the program that i had prior to work in
- 00:55:07this program will become clearer when we
- 00:55:10apply the tools of inventory that step
- 00:55:13four and five comprise for now we're
- 00:55:16still preparing the conditions to embark
- 00:55:18on this journey that because that's
- 00:55:21rigorous the inventory process is
- 00:55:23difficult the inventory process is where
- 00:55:26this program becomes distinct from
- 00:55:30tools
- 00:55:31in personal development that i've found
- 00:55:33less effective because they've amounted
- 00:55:36to a kind of faith-based
- 00:55:39sense that come on things are going to
- 00:55:42get better life will improve be positive
- 00:55:44all things that are you know necessary
- 00:55:46and helpful but are not
- 00:55:50administratively reliable it's the
- 00:55:52pragmatism of this
- 00:55:5412-step approach to spirituality that i
- 00:55:57like even though i'm really down with
- 00:56:00the
- 00:56:01metaphysics
- 00:56:02and the reflection and the mental
- 00:56:05pirations
- 00:56:06and spiritual masturbations is when it
- 00:56:09comes down to
- 00:56:11make an inventory let's try to truly
- 00:56:13understand what's been going on why have
- 00:56:15you lived this life whenever you stopped
- 00:56:17and reflected and looked at the
- 00:56:19conditions of your childhood the actions
- 00:56:21of your adolescence but before we get
- 00:56:24into that
- 00:56:25let's become willing to accept another
- 00:56:27plan because
- 00:56:29this is the plan that we're about to put
- 00:56:31into action in steps four and five all
- 00:56:34the way through to step twelve so we
- 00:56:36have to be absolutely sure that we have
- 00:56:38fully accepted conceded to our innermost
- 00:56:42selves that we are no longer in control
- 00:56:44and that's a very very difficult thing
- 00:56:47to do because most people that i know
- 00:56:50who are
- 00:56:52declared addicts
- 00:56:53don't trust other people
- 00:56:55don't feel good enough feel worthless
- 00:56:57but the more that i've explored this
- 00:56:59program and its principles outside of
- 00:57:02the confines of acknowledged 12-step
- 00:57:05support groups
- 00:57:06the more i found that these are human
- 00:57:08conditions that most people are
- 00:57:11operating on a program of a kind in fact
- 00:57:13to be a human is to have a program the
- 00:57:16personality in itself is a set of
- 00:57:18coordinates and beliefs behaviors and
- 00:57:21systems that we live by we're not
- 00:57:23choosing between having a program and
- 00:57:26not having a program we're choosing
- 00:57:28between a conscious program and an
- 00:57:29unconscious program we all have a
- 00:57:32program we have the pro program of our
- 00:57:34race our class our sex gender the time
- 00:57:37we were born in our familial program our
- 00:57:39social program we've been conditioned
- 00:57:41the very fact that you can understand
- 00:57:43this language is evidence of your
- 00:57:45programming a program is a deep code
- 00:57:48most of us are unaware of the way we've
- 00:57:50been coded unaware that if a particular
- 00:57:53person says a particular thing at a
- 00:57:55particular time suddenly we're
- 00:57:57incandescent the fuse has been lit
- 00:58:01you
- 00:58:02press my buttons easily if someone says
- 00:58:04the wrong thing to me or someone says
- 00:58:06the right thing to me i'm an automaton
- 00:58:08that's it i'm like the
- 00:58:10action is set in motion
- 00:58:13but this can be arrested and changed by
- 00:58:15admitting it's a problem coming to
- 00:58:17believe that it can change handing over
- 00:58:18my will and my life there's no point in
- 00:58:21living in the suspension of yeah i know
- 00:58:23there's a problem yeah i reckon it could
- 00:58:25become different it could improve
- 00:58:28[ __ ] you i'm not willing to accept
- 00:58:29another plan step three is where a lot
- 00:58:31of people dismount a lot of people
- 00:58:32disembark because people don't like
- 00:58:35asking for help people don't like
- 00:58:37accepting that
- 00:58:40that
- 00:58:41well for me the acceptance that my life
- 00:58:42up until that point
- 00:58:44had been a kind of mess
- 00:58:47was difficult and to continue to accept
- 00:58:49that you know it was really obvious when
- 00:58:51i was dealing with cracking heroin it's
- 00:58:52really obvious when i was dealing with
- 00:58:53like excessive promiscuity
- 00:58:56less obvious when it was like well what
- 00:58:59do you mean i'm obsessed with fame and
- 00:59:02therefore self these things keep
- 00:59:04re-emerging they reform they
- 00:59:06re-coagulate you think you've dealt with
- 00:59:09addiction you think you've dealt with
- 00:59:10the ego but
- 00:59:12it
- 00:59:13re-emerges it rebirths itself the kind
- 00:59:16of this sort of this um the zombie able
- 00:59:20to re-awaken continually it's very very
- 00:59:24difficult to keep a clear perspective
- 00:59:26impossible i would argue that's why step
- 00:59:28three is necessary because you begin to
- 00:59:30acknowledge no the problem was never
- 00:59:32external it was never these objects that
- 00:59:34i was fixating on it was the phenomena
- 00:59:36itself the craving itself the self the
- 00:59:40self-centeredness the perspective from
- 00:59:42which i view the world is the very thing
- 00:59:45that needs to change
- 00:59:46viewing the world through a lens of
- 00:59:48ideas a grid an unconscious grid of
- 00:59:51perception it's only when i i'm willing
- 00:59:53to say i don't want that anymore okay
- 00:59:56and like at first it feels phony at
- 00:59:58first it feels like some facsimile
- 01:00:01something that it feels like a pageant
- 01:00:03but once you've taken step 3 you realize
- 01:00:06that the pageant is what's being
- 01:00:07replaced that the illusion is where you
- 01:00:09were previously living that the self is
- 01:00:11the illusion
- 01:00:12so by making a decision to turn our will
- 01:00:15in our life over to the care of god as
- 01:00:17we understand god
- 01:00:18we are saying
- 01:00:20i am willing to accept that the way that
- 01:00:23i see the world that the thoughts that i
- 01:00:25think that the actions i take may all be
- 01:00:28entirely wrong this is a difficult point
- 01:00:30for alcoholics and addicts because we
- 01:00:32usually think oh i thought we were just
- 01:00:34going to stop drinking and taking drugs
- 01:00:35oh no that's merely the entry point to a
- 01:00:39journey that leads you to total
- 01:00:42surrender of the self a willingness to
- 01:00:44say the way that i approach
- 01:00:46relationships the way that i approach
- 01:00:48work the way that i approach thought
- 01:00:51is
- 01:00:53incorrect
- 01:00:54in urgent need of amendment
- 01:00:58requires surrender
- 01:01:01people don't like doing it because
- 01:01:02essentially what you're letting go of is
- 01:01:04yourself and no one wants to let go of
- 01:01:06that but that's
- 01:01:07what is required that is the requirement
- 01:01:09but so that it doesn't seem so
- 01:01:12overwhelmingly potent like some
- 01:01:15metaphysical tide sweeping you away into
- 01:01:19the limitless spilled cosmos let's break
- 01:01:23it down into some things that are a
- 01:01:24little more manageable some simple
- 01:01:26interrogative inquiry
- 01:01:31this is me and my silly little life am i
- 01:01:33suffering from misery depression
- 01:01:35unhappiness or low self-worth
- 01:01:37yes
- 01:01:38that's exactly what it feels like i've
- 01:01:40got low self-worth
- 01:01:42am i suffering from anxiety doubt or
- 01:01:44perfectionism perfectionism that's an
- 01:01:46easy one to mask it all behind isn't it
- 01:01:48no i just want things to be right no you
- 01:01:49don't you want to be in control you want
- 01:01:51to be in control of reality you maniac
- 01:01:54have you looked at the amazon whether
- 01:01:56it's on fire or not it's beyond our
- 01:01:59control great infinite tundras of nature
- 01:02:03instantiating themselves without our
- 01:02:05will where is it coming from where is
- 01:02:08reality coming from where is it going
- 01:02:10it's beyond my comprehension it's beyond
- 01:02:12my understanding
- 01:02:14yeah i'm trying to control it like as if
- 01:02:16it was sort of dominoes as if it was
- 01:02:18something simple as if it was something
- 01:02:19that could be managed how ridiculous it
- 01:02:21is to try and control our problems and
- 01:02:23our own using the methods that have led
- 01:02:25us to the problem in the first place i
- 01:02:26know what i'll do i'll carry on any
- 01:02:29version of self-reliance is that it's an
- 01:02:31inability and unwillingness to step
- 01:02:33outside the sort of cr not crucible the
- 01:02:36kind of
- 01:02:37what do i want to say sort of like the
- 01:02:38limited pod of your own being
- 01:02:41not accepting that the self is an event
- 01:02:44not an object
- 01:02:45that we are
- 01:02:47continual
- 01:02:48kinetic potential am i projecting
- 01:02:51imaginary future scenarios then worrying
- 01:02:53about i'm just a [ __ ] am that's all i
- 01:02:55do i'm worrying about stuff i'm
- 01:02:57fantasizing about something i don't want
- 01:02:59to happen and then living in that mad
- 01:03:01negative fantasy is it becoming clear to
- 01:03:03me my plan is not working yeah that's
- 01:03:05why i'm here that's why i'm willing to
- 01:03:08do this video on my phone that's why i'm
- 01:03:11willing to sit and listen to this this
- 01:03:12is why i'm willing to consider an
- 01:03:14alternative thankfully this desperation
- 01:03:17has delivered me to a point where i'm
- 01:03:19actually willing to change
- 01:03:21like
- 01:03:22man have you met happy people i see him
- 01:03:24from time to time i don't know what the
- 01:03:25[ __ ] to say and people that are together
- 01:03:26that got their [ __ ] together i'm amazed
- 01:03:28by him i'm amazed by him i sometimes
- 01:03:31don't feel like i have the [ __ ]
- 01:03:33authority to conclude a conversation let
- 01:03:35alone get engaged in some didactic
- 01:03:38self-help course but the only thing that
- 01:03:41keeps me going is the knowledge that i'm
- 01:03:43simply a conduit for some information
- 01:03:46that's from elsewhere and i don't even
- 01:03:48mean that in a mystical way like oh the
- 01:03:50almighty i am his vessel although i do
- 01:03:52mean that a bit i mean that there is a
- 01:03:54program that's already been written that
- 01:03:57works that works for me for severe
- 01:03:59issues crack addiction heroin addiction
- 01:04:01how many more [ __ ] times and also for
- 01:04:04minor issues because any of us that have
- 01:04:06gone through serious substance misuse
- 01:04:08discover as soon as that's out of the
- 01:04:10way that our behavioral addictions are
- 01:04:13ultimately just as painful
- 01:04:15is it clear that i need a new plan that
- 01:04:17is not sourced from my own head and
- 01:04:19drives if i'm to find fulfillment yes
- 01:04:22this works is easy this plan of mine is
- 01:04:24like a mind virus of self-obsession can
- 01:04:27i surrender it am i open to a different
- 01:04:28plan am i open to being guided i suppose
- 01:04:31a key component of step 3
- 01:04:33is becoming willing to be teachable
- 01:04:37people don't want to be teachable
- 01:04:39do they
- 01:04:40it's quite nice now i look for
- 01:04:42opportunities to be teachable in my life
- 01:04:44i'm like oh please teach me brazilian
- 01:04:46jiu jitsu teach me how to speak spanish
- 01:04:48teach me anything i put myself in the
- 01:04:51role of student
- 01:04:53continually there is a kind of safety in
- 01:04:56it there is a safety in this faith there
- 01:04:58is a safety in this surrender there is a
- 01:05:01safety from liberating myself from the
- 01:05:03prison of my individualism that i
- 01:05:06thought would ultimately bring me
- 01:05:07salvation
- 01:05:09they say don't they isaiah i mean he's
- 01:05:11not a day he's a he presumably
- 01:05:14fear not for i've redeemed you i have
- 01:05:16called you by your name you are mine i
- 01:05:18saw it on the wall brixton prison before
- 01:05:20i was about to do some poetry man in a
- 01:05:23prison i wasn't in the prison as an
- 01:05:24inmate i'm let me urgently tell you no
- 01:05:26disrespect if you are watching this in a
- 01:05:28prison i hope you are and god knows i've
- 01:05:30met enough people that have come from
- 01:05:32behind the door to use a bit of prison
- 01:05:34slang there to a life outside of
- 01:05:36fulfillment there is no full stop there
- 01:05:38is no end there's nothing that we've
- 01:05:39done that can separate us forever from
- 01:05:41god but my point is that i was there as
- 01:05:42a tourist in the chapel brixton prison
- 01:05:45about to participate in some
- 01:05:47well-intended bitter nonsense and
- 01:05:50nervous anxious before the performance
- 01:05:52or a tablet on the wall i saw
- 01:05:55the verse from as i fear not for i have
- 01:05:56redeemed you i have called you by your
- 01:05:58name you are mine fear not i'm down with
- 01:06:01that i don't want to live in fear
- 01:06:02anymore i want to be
- 01:06:04free of the fear of the shame that have
- 01:06:06defined me my whole life
- 01:06:08fear not for i have redeemed you i have
- 01:06:10called you by your name you are mine
- 01:06:12redeemed i always assumed to mean
- 01:06:14redemption salvation forgiveness
- 01:06:16but i understood that redeemed means
- 01:06:19can mean reclaim the same way that we
- 01:06:22would redeem a voucher fear not for i've
- 01:06:24redeemed you i've called you by your
- 01:06:25name not
- 01:06:26you lot i've called you by your name
- 01:06:29russell fear not for i've redeemed you
- 01:06:31i've called you by your name you are
- 01:06:32mine the reason that we don't need to
- 01:06:34fear is because we no longer belong to
- 01:06:36ourselves my life i'll do what i want
- 01:06:38with it who told you it's your life
- 01:06:40where did you get the idea this is my
- 01:06:42life these are my hands these are my
- 01:06:44thoughts these are these things that
- 01:06:46i've been given this multi-million
- 01:06:48dollar inconceivable machine i can
- 01:06:51control with my consciousness it's mine
- 01:06:54it's my life to do what i want and what
- 01:06:56i've decided to do is some version of
- 01:06:58finding pleasure some version of
- 01:07:01accepting external cultural coordinates
- 01:07:04a rubric an external rubric designed by
- 01:07:07other people that are already dead
- 01:07:09that's perpetuated still and then i'll
- 01:07:11establish my own ideas of what my worth
- 01:07:14is in relation to those external
- 01:07:16coordinates culture is not your friend
- 01:07:18culture is your prison
- 01:07:21so i'm willing to be redeemed
- 01:07:25i'm willing to let go of myself i'm
- 01:07:27willing to become teachable because i've
- 01:07:29seen the results of my life and if you
- 01:07:31are embarking on this course then
- 01:07:32evidently you've seen the results of
- 01:07:34your life up till now too you've become
- 01:07:37willing you've accepted that you're
- 01:07:39powerless that your life has become
- 01:07:40unmanageable you've come to believe that
- 01:07:42a power greater than yourself can
- 01:07:43restore your sanity and now you are
- 01:07:46willing to turn your life and your will
- 01:07:47over to the care of god as you
- 01:07:48understand god and if your god is not a
- 01:07:50god that is benevolent and benign then
- 01:07:52create one that is because wba said all
- 01:07:55artists create their own religion will
- 01:07:56become an artist because what choice do
- 01:07:58you have create your own structures your
- 01:08:02own culture your own way that loves you
- 01:08:05the beauty of the 12-step system is that
- 01:08:07there is no dominant didactic authority
- 01:08:11telling you how to be merely the
- 01:08:13acceptance the faith the belief that
- 01:08:14within you truer than the egoic
- 01:08:17construction of you is a divine aware
- 01:08:20wisdom waiting to be awakened waiting to
- 01:08:24be delivered but before we can live some
- 01:08:27utopian life of bliss and if you want
- 01:08:29any further evidence look this way
- 01:08:31there's a lot more work to be done some
- 01:08:34serious inventorying some
- 01:08:36acknowledgements of patterns plots
- 01:08:39foibles and flaws that need to be
- 01:08:41exposed and undone and surrendered then
- 01:08:44you will see the damage done the chaos
- 01:08:47the wreckage of your life
- 01:08:49once you've done some serious work in
- 01:08:51that area it becomes quite simple stay
- 01:08:52aware never switch off never go active
- 01:08:55never go back into it through prayer and
- 01:08:57meditation continually reach outward
- 01:09:00outward but inward inward no subject
- 01:09:02object suddenly beyond dualism limitless
- 01:09:05oneness limitless oneness like i already
- 01:09:07told you and there's no point realizing
- 01:09:09god only to sit around
- 01:09:12like either in a cave living off a
- 01:09:14spoonful of rice a day or some other
- 01:09:16form of masturbation realize god to be
- 01:09:18of service
- 01:09:19realize god to realize that oneness the
- 01:09:23reason that heroism looks so beautiful
- 01:09:25because in that moment of sacrifice
- 01:09:27there was no me there was no you there
- 01:09:29is only the oneness this can be realized
- 01:09:32through this simple system what begins
- 01:09:34as a process of letting go of very
- 01:09:36obvious problems such as alcoholism or
- 01:09:38addiction or looking at your phone too
- 01:09:39much leads you
- 01:09:41ineluctably
- 01:09:42inevitably indefatigably too the
- 01:09:45realization that the addicts the thing
- 01:09:47that you were most addicted to was the
- 01:09:48mirage of self that there is no self
- 01:09:51there the experience of self the
- 01:09:53awareness the consciousness itself this
- 01:09:56is it
- 01:09:57consciousness is not just one more
- 01:09:59phenomena but the sea of all phenomena
- 01:10:02and that we can access it if we free
- 01:10:04ourselves of the illusory beliefs that
- 01:10:06we are some kind of solid mental object
- 01:10:10pecking through reality like a sort of
- 01:10:12hammer nail relationship to the world
- 01:10:15that none of it is real
- 01:10:17none of it is real
- 01:10:19so do your worksheet
- 01:10:21have a little sit down and a little
- 01:10:22think and then get back to me
- 01:10:25go and read some sophiaism or
- 01:10:28some scroll somewhere unpack it unroll
- 01:10:31it
- 01:10:32and then you know we'll see how we get
- 01:10:34on but i tell you what i've spent ages
- 01:10:35thinking about this stuff and it's um
- 01:10:38i can't get beyond it i can't get out of
- 01:10:40it it will meet you where you're at if
- 01:10:42you just want to approach this very
- 01:10:43simply you can approach it very simply
- 01:10:45if you want to wank around in the
- 01:10:47[ __ ] outer reaches of the cosmos i'll
- 01:10:49see you up there either way the the
- 01:10:52results are the same
- 01:10:53the reason that the outside problem
- 01:10:55world is a problem for you is because
- 01:10:57the inside world is a problem but
- 01:10:59luckily it's a problem that you've
- 01:11:00constructed and that we can now
- 01:11:01dismantle
- 01:11:02thank you for watching the first three
- 01:11:05steps of recovery with russell brandt
- 01:11:07you can access the full 12-part course
- 01:11:10with russell including worksheets and
- 01:11:11bonus videos with a free 14-day trial of
- 01:11:15commune membership just go to
- 01:11:18onecoming.comtrial to sign up
- 01:11:20here's what a few commune members have
- 01:11:23been saying
- 01:11:24about russell's course
- 01:11:27from kiki
- 01:11:28i have been in recovery clean and sober
- 01:11:31for 28 years and russell's refreshing
- 01:11:34position and perspectives are insightful
- 01:11:36and tremendously helpful in an old
- 01:11:39familiar way
- 01:11:40yet brand new again thank you for this
- 01:11:43precious gift and from carrie anne
- 01:11:46russell stirs my soul with his twists
- 01:11:48and turns articulating this crazy
- 01:11:51material world and human experience
- 01:11:54so if you want to continue with russell
- 01:11:56into step 4 and all the way through step
- 01:11:5812 this is your invitation just go to
- 01:12:01onecommune.com
- 01:12:03trial to finish the course i hope to see
- 01:12:05you there
- 01:12:06hey thanks for watching if you liked
- 01:12:09this commune master class then i think
- 01:12:11you'll love this video right here and if
- 01:12:14you're interested in learning more about
- 01:12:16commune you can find all of our courses
- 01:12:19to help you live a healthy
- 01:12:20purpose-filled life at one commune dot
- 01:12:23com
- 12-step program
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