Russell Brand REVEALS The 3 Steps To RECOVERY & OVERCOMING ADDICTION | Commune

01:12:25
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biosU3V9hnM

Summary

TLDRThis is a free masterclass with Russell Brand, conducted by commune, focusing on the first three steps of recovery from addiction via the 12-step program. Russell Brand shares his personal journey of overcoming addiction using this program, highlighting how it assists in awakening consciousness and addressing various life challenges. The process begins with admitting one's powerlessness over addiction, embracing the possibility of change, and acknowledging a power greater than oneself. Brand explains that these steps can be applied not only to combat drug and alcohol addiction but to liberate oneself from any unhealthy attachment in life, whether it's technological dependency, negative thinking, or issues in personal relationships. Through humorous and insightful narratives, Brand emphasizes the importance of honesty, openness to change, and spiritual growth on the path to personal recovery.

Takeaways

  • 📚 Understanding Russell Brand's personal recovery journey.
  • 🧘 Emphasizing consciousness awakening and self-improvement.
  • 📜 Applying the 12-step program beyond substance misuse.
  • 🎯 Admitting problems is key to personal growth.
  • ✨ Finding a higher power aids in recovery.
  • 🔍 Worksheets and materials enhance learning and application.
  • 💡 Encouragement towards spiritual and behavioral change.
  • 🗣️ Russell's humorous yet profound teaching style.
  • 🌱 Embracing change and new perspectives for life.
  • 🕊️ Liberation from attachments fosters a healthier life.

Timeline

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The introduction sets the stage for a master class on recovery with Russell Brand, focusing on the first three steps of a 12-step program. It highlights Brand's personal recovery journey from drug and alcohol addiction using this program. This course aims to use the steps as a tool for spiritual awakening, applicable beyond substance addiction to a range of life challenges.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Russell Brand discusses the universal application of the 12-step program, emphasizing it as a method for spiritual awakening and addressing diverse addictions. He outlines that addiction often results from attaching to external objects seeking salvation, which causes pain. The program reframes problems as opportunities for initiation and mental transformation.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Brand explains that when one admits their life is unmanageable due to addiction, it becomes an opportunity for self-awareness and change. Honesty about personal dissatisfaction is crucial. The 12-step program offers a structured change protocol, applicable to varying problems from substance addiction to general discontentment, beginning with identifying specific issues for change.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The candid admission of having an unmanageable problem is the first step in the 12-step program. Brand suggests a straightforward acknowledgment process, moving from theoretical understanding to practical personal admission, which starts real change. This can apply to both severe substance issues and subtler behavioral habits like excessive phone use.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    Brand discusses the transition from acknowledgment of a problem to embracing the potential for change, facilitated by a power greater than oneself. This involves challenging self-reliance and considering one's habits and perspectives critically. Step Two emphasizes hope and openness to change facilitated by support beyond one's own capabilities.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    Acknowledging the need for change involves recognizing that past habits and thought patterns must shift. Brand suggests changes are necessary for effective recovery and that accepting a power beyond oneself aids in this transformation. This includes moving from a self-centered mindset to being open to external guidance.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    The video emphasizes turning one's life over to a power greater than oneself, recognizing self-efforts have not worked. Step Three involves humility and readiness to accept external guidance. By relinquishing self-control, one prepares to adopt new life plans provided by the 12-step structure, essential for recovery.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    Step Three elaborates on the necessity of surrendering personal control to foster true change. Brand highlights the importance of embracing humility rather than humiliation, accepting that one's plans might not work, and embracing new, perhaps initially uncomfortable, ideas and methods.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:45:00

    Brand addresses resistance to external help, often due to pride. He discusses humility as crucial in Step Three, helping to see that self-driven plans may be flawed. Accepting compassionate authority and being teachable allows one to accept effective change strategies.

  • 00:45:00 - 00:50:00

    Brand explains how personal limitations and pride obstruct recovery. Step Three's acceptance of higher power helps people recognize when their methods fail. He describes it not as surrender to defeat but inspired re-learning, framing it as unlocking potential beyond the ego's reach.

  • 00:50:00 - 00:55:00

    Step Three also involves reconstructing personal failures into a willingness for guidance external to oneself. Brand relates his experiences with pride and necessity for humility, allowing relearning from life’s failures. This perspective fosters openness to new plans and perspectives.

  • 00:55:00 - 01:00:00

    The necessity of freeing oneself from self-imprisonment emerges, suggesting that yielding to a higher power signifies growth beyond self-doubt and anxiety. Brand argues for optimism in surrendering to change as a means to discover inherent potential previously overshadowed by ego-driven actions.

  • 01:00:00 - 01:05:00

    Recognizing one's own inadequacies leads to openness for change guided by faith beyond personal capability. Brand emphasizes authentic personal faith in recovery without imposing dogmatic views, encouraging creation of personal belief systems aligning positively with recovery goals.

  • 01:05:00 - 01:12:25

    The course is designed to help individuals recognize internal problems and address them through structured steps that invoke both personal and spiritual growth, offering tools and support to transition from problem recognition to managing the solutions and embracing personal transformations.

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Mind Map

Video Q&A

  • What is the session about?

    The session covers the first three steps of the 12-step recovery program with Russell Brand, focusing on consciousness awakening and self-improvement.

  • Who is the host of the session?

    The session is hosted by Jeff Krasnow.

  • What personal experiences does Russell Brand share?

    Brand shares his experience with overcoming addiction through the 12-step program.

  • How can the 12-step program be applied?

    The program can be applied to liberate from various attachments and improve personal growth beyond substance misuse.

  • What does Russell Brand highlight about the process?

    Brand highlights admitting problems, embracing change, and finding a power greater than oneself as essential steps.

  • Who is the masterclass aimed at?

    The masterclass is aimed at those struggling with addiction or anyone seeking personal improvement and consciousness awakening.

  • What platform hosts this masterclass?

    The masterclass is hosted on Commune, an online course platform for wellness.

  • Are worksheets and additional materials provided?

    Yes, worksheets and additional materials are available alongside the course.

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  • 00:00:00
    [Music]
  • 00:00:05
    and i'm trying to define the bloody
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    nature of god in an armchair in a
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    [ __ ] cabin in a canyon
  • 00:00:11
    hello and welcome to commune a global
  • 00:00:14
    wellness community and online course
  • 00:00:16
    platform we are on a mission to inspire
  • 00:00:20
    heal pass down wisdom and bring the
  • 00:00:22
    world closer together i'm your host jeff
  • 00:00:26
    krasnow and that's noam chomsky in the
  • 00:00:28
    back and this is your free master class
  • 00:00:31
    with russell brand on the first three
  • 00:00:34
    steps to recovery
  • 00:00:36
    19 years ago russell somewhat famously
  • 00:00:39
    hit rock bottom due to his struggles
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    with drug and alcohol addiction he quite
  • 00:00:45
    reticently joined an aaa group and began
  • 00:00:48
    to apply a method known as the 12-step
  • 00:00:52
    program to address his afflictions now
  • 00:00:55
    at first russell like many others
  • 00:00:57
    side-eyed the 12 steps as overly preachy
  • 00:01:01
    and too ecumenical however he applied
  • 00:01:04
    the technology assiduously one day at a
  • 00:01:08
    time and he's been clean
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    ever since this 12-step program is a
  • 00:01:14
    simple methodology that you can apply to
  • 00:01:17
    a full range of behaviors as a means to
  • 00:01:20
    liberate yourself from these attachments
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    so to address our multifarious
  • 00:01:26
    addictions russell and commune have
  • 00:01:27
    created a program that draws from this
  • 00:01:31
    wisdom the wisdom of the 12 steps and
  • 00:01:34
    applies it broadly as a tool for
  • 00:01:37
    spiritual awakening and over the next
  • 00:01:39
    hour or so you will be immersed in the
  • 00:01:42
    first three steps of this program
  • 00:01:44
    russell is as usual captivating
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    insightful funny articulate eloquent and
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    occasionally
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    profane
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    let me give you a bit of an overview of
  • 00:01:59
    what you can anticipate and expect
  • 00:02:01
    although anticipation and expectations
  • 00:02:03
    are some of the things you're probably
  • 00:02:04
    going to have to deal with they're
  • 00:02:05
    probably the very kind of things that
  • 00:02:06
    mean you have to acquire courses like
  • 00:02:08
    this because you're living in a constant
  • 00:02:10
    state of expectation
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    12-step recovery for me is nothing less
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    than a system for altering my
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    consciousness for creating a state of
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    awakening
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    the thing that's ingenious about it is
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    it was developed and evolved to the most
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    obvious forms of addiction such as
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    alcoholism and addiction if you're a
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    crackhead a smackhead an alcoholic it's
  • 00:02:30
    a pretty obvious problem the social
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    medical criminal judicial problems that
  • 00:02:34
    you'll encounter make it clear to you
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    that your life is gone wildly awry
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    astray that you are dealing with
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    complexity conundrum and calamity near
  • 00:02:46
    consistently and constantly but whether
  • 00:02:48
    or not you're a person in recovery right
  • 00:02:50
    now working the 12 steps around
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    behaviors or drugs or alcohol or a
  • 00:02:55
    person that's curious
  • 00:02:57
    about how you could evolve a new
  • 00:02:59
    perspective this course is going to give
  • 00:03:01
    you the tools and explain the methods in
  • 00:03:04
    a manner and a language that you will
  • 00:03:06
    understand although this is like a um
  • 00:03:09
    quite colloquial chatty and casual
  • 00:03:12
    dialectic between me and you right now
  • 00:03:15
    we're dealing with nothing less than the
  • 00:03:17
    system for inducing enlightenment i
  • 00:03:19
    don't want that to sound overly
  • 00:03:21
    grandiose but i do want you to know that
  • 00:03:24
    what the 12 steps does is it takes you
  • 00:03:27
    from a state of unawareness to a state
  • 00:03:29
    of awareness a state of unconsciousness
  • 00:03:32
    to a state of consciousness
  • 00:03:35
    in my own life this is how it hit me the
  • 00:03:37
    way that the 12 steps hits most people
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    that work it i was in a rock bottom
  • 00:03:42
    state of absolute desperation a heroin
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    addict a crack addict an alcoholic every
  • 00:03:47
    aspect of my behavior was problematic it
  • 00:03:51
    was clear that i needed intervention a
  • 00:03:54
    curious thing that i'll mention at this
  • 00:03:56
    early stage of the journey that we're on
  • 00:03:58
    together is that what i was looking for
  • 00:04:00
    curiously and
  • 00:04:02
    this is not something that i'd have been
  • 00:04:03
    able to appreciate it
  • 00:04:05
    if you would have plainly told me what i
  • 00:04:07
    was looking for was an awakening a
  • 00:04:10
    spiritual connection seems like an odd
  • 00:04:12
    way to look for a spiritual awakening
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    and connection sitting around in
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    doorways doing smack hitting up the
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    martel bottle pipe hitting boozing
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    whoring seems like an odd way to look
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    for god to look for oneness
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    and indeed it is
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    but the reason the 12 steps works and
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    the reason that i believe it was
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    discovered in relation to substance
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    misuse and alcohol misuse is because
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    when we form an attachment to an object
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    whether that's a physical object or a
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    kind of
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    a neurological compound suspended in our
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    own mind
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    meaning i suppose that my relationship
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    with my work is an object my
  • 00:04:55
    relationship with my wife can become
  • 00:04:58
    an object in my mind if that
  • 00:04:59
    relationship is not
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    conscious aware and functional it has
  • 00:05:04
    the potential to cause me pain and often
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    and this is a curious thing
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    which i believe is where the
  • 00:05:11
    universality
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    of the 12 steps comes into his own is i
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    nominate external things to be salvation
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    to redeem me to make me feel better
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    about myself now that is uh that's clear
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    and obvious when we're dealing with
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    drugs and alcohol so it's no coincidence
  • 00:05:31
    that the 12 steps was devised and
  • 00:05:33
    conceived around alcohol because when a
  • 00:05:35
    person's got an attachment
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    to drugs and alcohol the consequences
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    are obvious
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    the behaviors are observable it's a
  • 00:05:45
    clear and evident problem the way that
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    this program
  • 00:05:49
    functions mechanically is that instead
  • 00:05:51
    of regarding a problem in your life as a
  • 00:05:54
    sort of a sign of deterioration or a
  • 00:05:57
    wound it becomes a point of initiation
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    and inauguration it's a kind of we make
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    a trans a mental translation rather than
  • 00:06:06
    seeing a problem as uh like a deficit or
  • 00:06:09
    a wound we see it instead as a an
  • 00:06:12
    invitation
  • 00:06:13
    how that functions for me is as soon as
  • 00:06:15
    i'm like agitated discontent irritated
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    or afraid i don't see that as like
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    something erroneous or something that's
  • 00:06:24
    gone wrong with me i see it as a signal
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    something that i need to read so
  • 00:06:29
    like
  • 00:06:31
    when you're excessively drinking or
  • 00:06:33
    you're excessively taking drugs or
  • 00:06:35
    you're looking at a lot of porn or
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    you're spending a lot of money
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    the fuel behind it is a
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    craving a yearning a desire to acquire
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    an a forging of an attachment to
  • 00:06:48
    external phenomena to ameliorate an
  • 00:06:51
    inner malady
  • 00:06:53
    like and the relationship between this
  • 00:06:56
    the identification this problem and a
  • 00:06:57
    spiritual experience is
  • 00:07:00
    like almost a total one it can be
  • 00:07:03
    difficult to see alcoholism or
  • 00:07:07
    endless spending or obsessive watching
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    as pornography as a hankering after a
  • 00:07:13
    spiritual experience but in a very
  • 00:07:15
    obvious way
  • 00:07:16
    what you're trying to do is make
  • 00:07:18
    yourself feel better
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    and that is a spiritual issue the
  • 00:07:23
    function of spirituality is to amend the
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    way that you feel is to address a kind
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    of
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    a disalignment a disjunct between your
  • 00:07:33
    inner and outer lives so
  • 00:07:36
    once you've admitted i'm not happy in my
  • 00:07:38
    marriage i'm not happy in my work or
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    whatever it is once you've admitted this
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    is a problem for me
  • 00:07:44
    that's an opportunity for an inhalation
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    and a moment of reflection i've got a
  • 00:07:49
    problem it's like a lot of people won't
  • 00:07:52
    do that have you noticed that in your
  • 00:07:54
    own life a lot of people know i'm very
  • 00:07:55
    happy i'm like i'm happy in this
  • 00:07:56
    relationship i'm happy in this job i'm
  • 00:07:58
    happy drinking i'm happy continually
  • 00:08:00
    getting in fights well
  • 00:08:01
    the 12 steps
  • 00:08:03
    as a point of initiation does require an
  • 00:08:06
    honest appraisal without that
  • 00:08:09
    obviously you can't proceed or progress
  • 00:08:11
    because
  • 00:08:12
    you're not
  • 00:08:14
    open to the possibility of change see
  • 00:08:16
    the the very simple thing is that this
  • 00:08:18
    is a
  • 00:08:19
    program of change whilst it does involve
  • 00:08:22
    some quite um
  • 00:08:23
    potentially esoteric ideas about
  • 00:08:27
    you know consciousness and dare i say it
  • 00:08:29
    god
  • 00:08:30
    it
  • 00:08:33
    is underwritten by the possibility that
  • 00:08:37
    by the optimistic possibility that your
  • 00:08:40
    situation that your life that your
  • 00:08:42
    problems can change once you've admitted
  • 00:08:44
    you've got a problem
  • 00:08:47
    there is a
  • 00:08:48
    opportunity for change so whether you
  • 00:08:51
    want to improve your understanding of
  • 00:08:53
    12-step recovery for application in
  • 00:08:56
    obvious and already identified
  • 00:08:59
    problematic areas such as drugs or
  • 00:09:02
    alcohol
  • 00:09:03
    sex addiction
  • 00:09:04
    porn addiction gambling spending
  • 00:09:08
    excessively in
  • 00:09:09
    not eating enough or
  • 00:09:12
    and this is
  • 00:09:13
    crucial
  • 00:09:15
    at just a vague sense of
  • 00:09:17
    unfulfillment a general sense of
  • 00:09:20
    disconnection or discontentment then i
  • 00:09:23
    believe that this course is going to be
  • 00:09:26
    helpful for you
  • 00:09:35
    step one
  • 00:09:38
    conventionally put
  • 00:09:39
    we admitted that we were powerless over
  • 00:09:41
    our addiction
  • 00:09:43
    and that our life had become
  • 00:09:44
    unmanageable
  • 00:09:45
    is your honest entry point into a
  • 00:09:48
    12-step program given that our remit and
  • 00:09:51
    the way that we're approaching our work
  • 00:09:54
    is that we want to be able to apply this
  • 00:09:56
    program the way that i do across every
  • 00:09:58
    aspect of our life that could be a
  • 00:10:00
    severe addiction issue you could be
  • 00:10:02
    watching this thinking i'm drinking too
  • 00:10:05
    much my drinking is ruining my life i
  • 00:10:08
    need to change it or it could be
  • 00:10:10
    something more vague and difficult to
  • 00:10:12
    identify i don't want to be in
  • 00:10:15
    relationships that make me feel bad
  • 00:10:16
    about myself i don't want to be working
  • 00:10:19
    in a job that's making me feel inferior
  • 00:10:23
    but
  • 00:10:24
    whatever it is that you're working on
  • 00:10:26
    the candid and honest admission that you
  • 00:10:29
    have a problem and that your life is
  • 00:10:30
    unmanageable as a result of that problem
  • 00:10:33
    is our entry point that honest
  • 00:10:36
    acknowledgement
  • 00:10:37
    mentally in my mind at least accompanied
  • 00:10:40
    by the sound of a record scratching off
  • 00:10:42
    a point of arrest i don't want to
  • 00:10:45
    proceed any further down this path when
  • 00:10:47
    i interpreted the 12 steps i changed it
  • 00:10:50
    from a
  • 00:10:52
    rather wordy articulate and brilliant
  • 00:10:55
    appraisal of powerlessness and
  • 00:10:58
    unmanageability to the more succinct and
  • 00:11:01
    perhaps vulgar are you [ __ ]
  • 00:11:05
    if you're watching this video if you've
  • 00:11:07
    subscribed to this if you find yourself
  • 00:11:10
    in a position where you're unhappy and
  • 00:11:12
    lost this is the step one moment the
  • 00:11:16
    moment of i'm i can't cope with this
  • 00:11:18
    anymore i don't want to continue down
  • 00:11:20
    this path anymore
  • 00:11:23
    so
  • 00:11:24
    whatever it is you're dealing with there
  • 00:11:26
    is a further requirement here and that
  • 00:11:29
    requirement is for specificity
  • 00:11:32
    i reckon that the reason that the
  • 00:11:33
    12-step program was initially formulated
  • 00:11:36
    around alcohol and then drugs was that
  • 00:11:40
    when there is a clear and obvious object
  • 00:11:43
    like alcohol and alcoholism
  • 00:11:46
    it becomes
  • 00:11:47
    it's easy to diagnose and it's easy to
  • 00:11:51
    not easy because it's like incredibly
  • 00:11:52
    complex and painful agonizing and
  • 00:11:54
    difficult and a lot of people can't ever
  • 00:11:56
    ever do it but
  • 00:11:57
    at least it is clear
  • 00:12:00
    that
  • 00:12:01
    the the
  • 00:12:02
    alcohol is the thing that needs to be
  • 00:12:04
    removed from your life
  • 00:12:05
    that that your problems are clustering
  • 00:12:09
    around
  • 00:12:10
    your misuse of drink when i think about
  • 00:12:12
    my own like my own step one around crack
  • 00:12:16
    heroin and alcohol firstly actually it
  • 00:12:19
    seemed like a bloody difficult thing to
  • 00:12:21
    accept like when people said the reason
  • 00:12:24
    that you're getting in these the reason
  • 00:12:26
    you're getting in trouble in
  • 00:12:27
    relationships the reason that you don't
  • 00:12:29
    like yourself the reason you've got low
  • 00:12:31
    self-esteem and that you're continually
  • 00:12:33
    getting in trouble the police and that
  • 00:12:35
    nothing's ever working out for you
  • 00:12:37
    because you're drinking and you're
  • 00:12:38
    taking drugs are you willing to one day
  • 00:12:40
    at a time stop drinking and taking drugs
  • 00:12:43
    for a long time the answer was no i
  • 00:12:45
    wasn't willing to see that as the
  • 00:12:47
    problem i wasn't willing to embark on a
  • 00:12:50
    journey of change
  • 00:12:52
    having done that and having seen the
  • 00:12:55
    success of it
  • 00:12:56
    i'm now willing in
  • 00:12:58
    pretty much eventually almost any
  • 00:13:01
    situation to take a 12-step journey
  • 00:13:05
    because
  • 00:13:06
    you know as soon as you've
  • 00:13:08
    removed alcohol and drugs from your life
  • 00:13:11
    if that's the problem you're dealing
  • 00:13:12
    with you are confronted with the
  • 00:13:15
    myriad
  • 00:13:17
    other problems in your life that are
  • 00:13:21
    required to change and
  • 00:13:23
    these things are no longer external
  • 00:13:25
    they're
  • 00:13:26
    internal issues
  • 00:13:28
    so what we have to do when taking the
  • 00:13:30
    step one
  • 00:13:32
    is identify what it is you want to
  • 00:13:34
    change
  • 00:13:34
    i've worked step one around drugs and
  • 00:13:37
    alcohol i've i admitted right yeah my
  • 00:13:39
    drug and alcohol problem
  • 00:13:41
    is i'm powerless over it i can't control
  • 00:13:44
    it once i start i can't stop the
  • 00:13:46
    consequences of me drinking and taking
  • 00:13:47
    drugs are creating unmanageability this
  • 00:13:51
    word unmanageability can be understood
  • 00:13:53
    as
  • 00:13:54
    like once i start drinking and taking
  • 00:13:56
    drugs i don't know where i'm going to
  • 00:13:59
    end up i don't know what the
  • 00:14:00
    consequences are going to be i don't
  • 00:14:01
    know when i'm going to be able to resume
  • 00:14:03
    control of my life again it becomes a
  • 00:14:06
    kind of hell of skeleton
  • 00:14:09
    like
  • 00:14:10
    when applying it to something
  • 00:14:12
    more insidious less obvious like i'm
  • 00:14:15
    powerless over my use of the phone and
  • 00:14:17
    my life has become unmanageable
  • 00:14:19
    it's kind of
  • 00:14:21
    look it there's no doubt that it's more
  • 00:14:23
    subtle but i'm still looking at the
  • 00:14:26
    phone when i don't want to look at the
  • 00:14:27
    phone and it's still making me feel not
  • 00:14:29
    good about myself i don't feel good at
  • 00:14:31
    myself if i'm staring at my phone
  • 00:14:33
    instead of talking to my children i
  • 00:14:35
    don't feel good about myself if i'm like
  • 00:14:37
    unconsciously and
  • 00:14:39
    um
  • 00:14:40
    sort of
  • 00:14:42
    kind of
  • 00:14:43
    somehow my volition is being usurped
  • 00:14:47
    by a bloody device that i've paid for
  • 00:14:49
    that doesn't that doesn't feel good
  • 00:14:53
    that's an another thing that's very
  • 00:14:54
    beautiful about the 12 steps is this
  • 00:14:56
    learning to recognize my own intuition
  • 00:14:59
    and my own feelings as being somehow
  • 00:15:02
    valid the point that i'm feeling unhappy
  • 00:15:04
    or dissatisfied is not something that i
  • 00:15:06
    need to suppress or ignore or get over
  • 00:15:08
    it's the beginning of letting go of
  • 00:15:11
    something it's the beginning of changing
  • 00:15:13
    something
  • 00:15:14
    i am working this program at the moment
  • 00:15:17
    around phone use i'm working it around
  • 00:15:20
    the way that i behave in professional
  • 00:15:22
    environments i'm working this program
  • 00:15:24
    around the way that i treat my wife so
  • 00:15:26
    the
  • 00:15:27
    first thing i have to do is acknowledge
  • 00:15:29
    that it's a problem and that my life is
  • 00:15:31
    unmanageable that in regard to that
  • 00:15:33
    particular issue i'm [ __ ] so at this
  • 00:15:36
    point in working the course you do have
  • 00:15:37
    to clearly identify what it is that you
  • 00:15:40
    want to change that's not to say that
  • 00:15:41
    you can't like me work it across
  • 00:15:44
    multiple issues that's what i do i'm
  • 00:15:47
    right now working it across multiple
  • 00:15:50
    issues but you do need to be specific
  • 00:15:52
    you do need to say i want to change my
  • 00:15:55
    relationship with food i want to change
  • 00:15:57
    the way i talk to my partner i want to
  • 00:16:00
    change my relationship with my sexuality
  • 00:16:04
    or my sexual behavior you do at this
  • 00:16:05
    point need to identify it it's not
  • 00:16:07
    enough to say my whole life's a mess i'm
  • 00:16:10
    generally unhappy
  • 00:16:12
    because you're not
  • 00:16:14
    that doesn't give you a sufficient
  • 00:16:16
    purchase
  • 00:16:18
    for the scaling of this problem you need
  • 00:16:22
    to identify okay what i'm dealing with
  • 00:16:24
    is this so like you know just to give
  • 00:16:26
    you an idea of the scope that it can be
  • 00:16:29
    worked in you know for me initially it
  • 00:16:30
    was cracking heroin i was willing to
  • 00:16:32
    admit that it was a problem i had no
  • 00:16:33
    choice but to admit it was a problem
  • 00:16:34
    that my life had become unmanageable and
  • 00:16:37
    now i'm working it
  • 00:16:39
    around
  • 00:16:40
    my use of technology
  • 00:16:43
    negative thinking
  • 00:16:45
    you know like it can become
  • 00:16:47
    much subtler and it
  • 00:16:49
    is equally successful
  • 00:16:53
    it's obviously harder to work an
  • 00:16:56
    abstinence program around something as
  • 00:16:59
    involuntary as negative thinking
  • 00:17:02
    but what i can do is recognize oh i'm
  • 00:17:05
    habitually engaged in negative
  • 00:17:08
    projection and anxiety
  • 00:17:11
    that's a problem i want to change it now
  • 00:17:14
    once i've done that you know then i can
  • 00:17:16
    if i choose to embark on the rest of the
  • 00:17:18
    steps i can
  • 00:17:20
    accept the possibility of change i can
  • 00:17:22
    ask for help i can
  • 00:17:24
    inventory i can then observe the
  • 00:17:26
    patterns that uh
  • 00:17:28
    recur in these situations i can see if
  • 00:17:31
    anyone else has been harmed as a result
  • 00:17:32
    i can stay aware i can recognize that a
  • 00:17:34
    component of change is going to be
  • 00:17:36
    prayer and meditation
  • 00:17:38
    a changing of my perspective through
  • 00:17:41
    spiritual practices and that the end
  • 00:17:44
    result of all of this is
  • 00:17:46
    to become of service to become of use to
  • 00:17:49
    ultimately change my perspective
  • 00:17:51
    from a kind of infatuation with
  • 00:17:54
    self-fulfillment
  • 00:17:55
    to a willingness to be of service to
  • 00:17:58
    others accompanying this course you have
  • 00:17:59
    some worksheets and materials that you
  • 00:18:02
    can use
  • 00:18:03
    along with this video i mean if looking
  • 00:18:05
    at my face on a laptop or a phone isn't
  • 00:18:07
    sufficient to deliver you to salvation i
  • 00:18:10
    begin to wonder what the hell the
  • 00:18:11
    problem is but there are also some
  • 00:18:12
    written materials i just want to talk
  • 00:18:14
    you through how they work like so
  • 00:18:17
    firstly we identify what we want to
  • 00:18:19
    change for the purposes of this exercise
  • 00:18:21
    my example is like my use of tech
  • 00:18:24
    like even i can be even more specific
  • 00:18:26
    than that looking at my phone in the
  • 00:18:28
    morning first thing when i wake up the
  • 00:18:31
    reason i'm the reason i'm using that
  • 00:18:33
    even though it sort of seems a bit minor
  • 00:18:35
    and trivial is that i'm going to operate
  • 00:18:37
    on the assumption that if you're
  • 00:18:39
    sitting there with drawing from heroin
  • 00:18:42
    or on your way to score more that for a
  • 00:18:45
    start
  • 00:18:46
    you will require additional medical
  • 00:18:49
    psychiatric and therapeutic support but
  • 00:18:51
    also somehow the more subtle the problem
  • 00:18:55
    the more the efficacy of the program is
  • 00:18:57
    demonstrated
  • 00:18:59
    so like in my case i want to change my
  • 00:19:02
    phone use i want to not look at it first
  • 00:19:04
    thing in the morning i don't want my
  • 00:19:06
    phone to be given the job of making me
  • 00:19:08
    feel better about who i am i recognize
  • 00:19:10
    that's an inappropriate function to give
  • 00:19:13
    a
  • 00:19:14
    piece of technical equipment
  • 00:19:17
    next question is what pain or fear do i
  • 00:19:19
    associate with change in this area now
  • 00:19:21
    that sort of might seem like rather
  • 00:19:23
    grand for such a trivial route of
  • 00:19:26
    inquiry but the pain and fear that i
  • 00:19:28
    associate with
  • 00:19:29
    the pain and fear that i associate with
  • 00:19:31
    like not looking at my phone first thing
  • 00:19:32
    in the morning is that i'm kind of
  • 00:19:34
    confronted with the general and vague
  • 00:19:36
    sense of anxiety that i wake up with
  • 00:19:39
    every day that i try to negate with some
  • 00:19:42
    external distraction if i look at my
  • 00:19:44
    phone maybe someone will have sent me a
  • 00:19:45
    text message telling me that i'm
  • 00:19:47
    fantastic russell you're terrific you
  • 00:19:50
    can now rest assured go back to bed turn
  • 00:19:52
    over bury your face back in the pillow
  • 00:19:54
    you're absolutely fine there's nothing
  • 00:19:56
    about you you need to water but in
  • 00:19:58
    reality i know that there'll be things
  • 00:19:59
    on my phone that annoy me work emails
  • 00:20:02
    and suddenly i'm not facing the day i'm
  • 00:20:05
    not embarking on my day thinking about
  • 00:20:08
    how can i be useful how can i help
  • 00:20:09
    others how can i be a better dad today
  • 00:20:11
    i'm sort of already bogged down in the
  • 00:20:14
    in minutiae so the pain and fear that i
  • 00:20:17
    associate with change is that if i wake
  • 00:20:19
    up in the morning and i've not got my
  • 00:20:21
    phone then i've got no excuse to not
  • 00:20:23
    meditate for example that i
  • 00:20:26
    i'm going to be confronted with this
  • 00:20:28
    sort of vast open
  • 00:20:31
    ice scapes
  • 00:20:33
    every day like i like to anchor my day
  • 00:20:36
    to something my new and quotidian
  • 00:20:39
    there's only so much horizon i can bear
  • 00:20:41
    so that's the fear that i associate with
  • 00:20:43
    change in this area
  • 00:20:44
    what pleasure am i getting out of not
  • 00:20:46
    changing the pleasure i get out of not
  • 00:20:47
    changing i guess like with all forms of
  • 00:20:49
    addiction and this is the reason that
  • 00:20:51
    addiction is a perfect metaphor for a
  • 00:20:52
    material attachment is that
  • 00:20:56
    with an addictive behavior this is like
  • 00:20:59
    this is a sort of an experiment that
  • 00:21:00
    could be run in a lab with a rat you
  • 00:21:03
    reward like i'm rewarded about one in
  • 00:21:06
    every five times that i engage in an
  • 00:21:08
    addictive behavior it was the same with
  • 00:21:09
    drugs it was the same with sex same with
  • 00:21:11
    pornography once in a while it's
  • 00:21:13
    fantastic it's terrific
  • 00:21:15
    but the rest of the time it's pretty
  • 00:21:16
    dismal and disappointing as all forms of
  • 00:21:19
    a material attachment ultimately will be
  • 00:21:22
    there is no way that i can make myself
  • 00:21:24
    feel spiritually fulfilled or even
  • 00:21:26
    comforted by looking at a phone or
  • 00:21:29
    smoking crack not long term eventually
  • 00:21:32
    it will lead me to a point of
  • 00:21:33
    disappointment and dismay because these
  • 00:21:36
    objects are not capable of addressing an
  • 00:21:39
    inner melody
  • 00:21:40
    what pleasure am i getting out of not
  • 00:21:42
    changing the pleasure i'm getting out of
  • 00:21:43
    not changing is once in a while it works
  • 00:21:46
    for me once in a while
  • 00:21:48
    someone will text me and say you've got
  • 00:21:49
    this job or you're terrific
  • 00:21:52
    it's never enough and in a way
  • 00:21:54
    the problem even with the positive
  • 00:21:56
    outcome is it
  • 00:21:59
    it engages me for longer in a behavior
  • 00:22:02
    that isn't ultimately beneficial so i'd
  • 00:22:04
    be better off to
  • 00:22:06
    like as soon as i consciously engage
  • 00:22:08
    with that behavior and i'm willing to
  • 00:22:10
    change it
  • 00:22:11
    the
  • 00:22:12
    possibility of real change of real
  • 00:22:14
    improvement begins
  • 00:22:17
    what will it cost me if this doesn't
  • 00:22:19
    change is the next question like and
  • 00:22:21
    again you know if you're dealing with
  • 00:22:23
    heroin or you're dealing with paying sex
  • 00:22:26
    workers and like when you're in a
  • 00:22:28
    marriage or you're dealing with like
  • 00:22:30
    looking furtively at porn continually
  • 00:22:34
    it's kind of more obvious to sort of
  • 00:22:35
    identify what it's going to cost you
  • 00:22:37
    it's going to cost you your self-esteem
  • 00:22:38
    is going to cost you
  • 00:22:40
    your relationship with your partner but
  • 00:22:43
    like when it's like looking at the phone
  • 00:22:44
    well you know it's less obvious but it's
  • 00:22:46
    still evident what it cost me is my
  • 00:22:48
    peace of mind it cost me my autonomy it
  • 00:22:50
    cost me
  • 00:22:52
    freedom like i'm designating an object
  • 00:22:56
    as a kind of uh
  • 00:22:58
    as a stimulant for happiness i suppose
  • 00:23:01
    that's why the addiction metaphor is a
  • 00:23:04
    good one stimulus response as a means
  • 00:23:07
    for living
  • 00:23:08
    this is the way that consumerism and
  • 00:23:10
    materialism operate this is why i think
  • 00:23:14
    addiction is rife because we are
  • 00:23:17
    continually taught that we can fulfill
  • 00:23:20
    ourselves improve ourselves advance
  • 00:23:22
    ourselves with the acquisition of an
  • 00:23:25
    external material object or through the
  • 00:23:29
    validation and approval of other people
  • 00:23:32
    that for me has the same sort of
  • 00:23:34
    paradigm shape as
  • 00:23:37
    here is some heroin i've taken the
  • 00:23:38
    heroine here is some alcohol i've taken
  • 00:23:40
    that alcohol here is pornography i've
  • 00:23:41
    used the pornography wherever you are
  • 00:23:44
    on the scale if you're using an external
  • 00:23:47
    object as a
  • 00:23:50
    tool to ameliorate in a malady you're
  • 00:23:53
    engaged in addiction any behavior that
  • 00:23:56
    you're engaged in that you want to
  • 00:23:58
    change and when you try to change it or
  • 00:24:00
    try to stop it you can't i think can
  • 00:24:02
    rightly be referred to as addiction
  • 00:24:05
    to keep it specific again what benefits
  • 00:24:07
    can i have what benefits could i expect
  • 00:24:10
    from changing my phone use again if
  • 00:24:12
    you're talking about stopping drinking
  • 00:24:13
    alcohol the benefits are obvious i'm
  • 00:24:15
    going to save money i'm going to feel
  • 00:24:16
    healthier i'm gonna lose weight i'm not
  • 00:24:18
    gonna feel that constant despair of
  • 00:24:21
    alcoholism vomiting and belching my way
  • 00:24:23
    for every day when it's something sort
  • 00:24:25
    of seemingly minor but like phone use
  • 00:24:27
    what benefits will i get well you know
  • 00:24:29
    the truth is that i have begun to change
  • 00:24:32
    that behavior for one week i stopped
  • 00:24:34
    charging my phone in my bedroom i charge
  • 00:24:36
    it downstairs i don't look at it first
  • 00:24:38
    thing in the morning
  • 00:24:40
    and what happens is
  • 00:24:41
    like i feel
  • 00:24:43
    i feel
  • 00:24:44
    in a sense it's
  • 00:24:46
    with a subtler form of behavioral change
  • 00:24:48
    like not using my phone to soothe myself
  • 00:24:51
    in the morning the benefit i feel is not
  • 00:24:54
    immediately obvious the thing that i
  • 00:24:56
    felt most immediately was a bit
  • 00:24:58
    inconvenienced and a bit put out by not
  • 00:25:00
    having my phone there but two or three
  • 00:25:02
    days in i started to feel a kind of
  • 00:25:05
    relief
  • 00:25:06
    none of us
  • 00:25:07
    feel good about how we've been envigored
  • 00:25:10
    and hypnotised by technology and having
  • 00:25:13
    for me as a person that works at 12-step
  • 00:25:15
    program
  • 00:25:16
    recognizing that i can
  • 00:25:18
    alter my behavior around something as
  • 00:25:20
    seemingly minor as that it's
  • 00:25:23
    fulfilling there's a relief in it so
  • 00:25:26
    that one of the benefits are that in the
  • 00:25:28
    morning now when i wake up i'm thinking
  • 00:25:30
    about dealing with the people i live
  • 00:25:32
    with and love not dealing with a [ __ ]
  • 00:25:35
    telephone so for our purposes today
  • 00:25:39
    what we want is a clear understanding of
  • 00:25:41
    what it is we're willing to change
  • 00:25:44
    before we fill out our worksheets which
  • 00:25:47
    you know i'll be doing in my own little
  • 00:25:49
    life you'll be doing over there in your
  • 00:25:51
    world before we embark on that
  • 00:25:53
    let's take a moment to consider
  • 00:25:57
    and to commit to what it is we want to
  • 00:25:58
    change that could be something as
  • 00:26:00
    obvious and severe as substance misuse
  • 00:26:03
    or something as subtle and seemingly
  • 00:26:05
    trivial as
  • 00:26:07
    technological attachment such as i've
  • 00:26:09
    been describing but whatever it is
  • 00:26:12
    let's
  • 00:26:13
    envisage it
  • 00:26:15
    commit to it and be very clear that the
  • 00:26:18
    reason we're working the 12 steps around
  • 00:26:20
    this particular issue
  • 00:26:22
    is we acknowledge it's a problem at this
  • 00:26:25
    point the step one juncture that's all
  • 00:26:28
    that's required of you
  • 00:26:30
    this is a problem
  • 00:26:31
    i want to change it
  • 00:26:33
    just an honest acknowledgement of that
  • 00:26:37
    so take a moment
  • 00:26:40
    wherever you are in the world not if
  • 00:26:41
    you're operating heavy machinery and
  • 00:26:43
    that's not the ideal situation to
  • 00:26:44
    conduct this course in i may say if
  • 00:26:47
    you're driving a bus or a tube train
  • 00:26:50
    or an aircraft
  • 00:26:53
    complete that
  • 00:26:54
    then undertake this course take a moment
  • 00:26:56
    to acknowledge what is it i want to
  • 00:26:58
    change i mean i might say don't step one
  • 00:27:00
    don't fly a boeing 747 while doing a
  • 00:27:05
    self-help video that's like a problem
  • 00:27:07
    you can start working on in your life
  • 00:27:09
    so take a moment to acknowledge what it
  • 00:27:10
    is you want to change to make a
  • 00:27:12
    commitment to it
  • 00:27:14
    so for me as i've said
  • 00:27:16
    i don't want to be dependent on my phone
  • 00:27:19
    for approval anymore i don't want my
  • 00:27:22
    phone to be anything other in fact than
  • 00:27:24
    the tool for communication so now
  • 00:27:27
    right from this moment on far more when
  • 00:27:29
    i filled in this worksheet
  • 00:27:31
    whenever i engage in that behavior i
  • 00:27:33
    will recognize
  • 00:27:34
    wow because you know like i may not
  • 00:27:36
    immediately change because this isn't as
  • 00:27:39
    severe and pronounced as heroin and
  • 00:27:41
    people relapse on drugs all the time but
  • 00:27:44
    once you've acknowledged it's a problem
  • 00:27:45
    once you've made that mental commitment
  • 00:27:48
    then you can never again undertake that
  • 00:27:50
    behavior with the same kind of
  • 00:27:53
    cavalier innocence it's been clocked
  • 00:27:57
    you've grasped yourself up you've
  • 00:27:59
    acknowledged this is a problem that's
  • 00:28:01
    what step one is
  • 00:28:03
    it's the first step on the 12-step
  • 00:28:06
    journey this is a problem i want to
  • 00:28:08
    change
  • 00:28:10
    [Music]
  • 00:28:17
    step two in the original form is we came
  • 00:28:19
    to believe that power greater than
  • 00:28:21
    ourselves could restore us to sanity
  • 00:28:23
    there's a lot to unpack in there really
  • 00:28:25
    firstly the idea that we are
  • 00:28:27
    acknowledging that our behavior has been
  • 00:28:29
    insane
  • 00:28:30
    secondly that there is a power greater
  • 00:28:33
    than ourselves
  • 00:28:34
    that's an
  • 00:28:35
    interesting thing to address because
  • 00:28:38
    often unconsciously while we're embedded
  • 00:28:41
    in our problem we're accepting and
  • 00:28:44
    inhabiting this kind of odd negative
  • 00:28:46
    omnipotence i'm worthless i'm a terrible
  • 00:28:49
    person my life is a mess and yet somehow
  • 00:28:52
    i'm the ultimate authority in my own
  • 00:28:54
    life unable to conceive even of a power
  • 00:28:57
    greater than myself
  • 00:28:59
    completely consumed by selfishness
  • 00:29:02
    completely consumed by self-centeredness
  • 00:29:04
    this is where the 12-step program again
  • 00:29:07
    aligns with spiritual ideas that are
  • 00:29:11
    much older
  • 00:29:12
    and
  • 00:29:13
    much more mysterious and in some senses
  • 00:29:17
    allude to a potency that's
  • 00:29:20
    here used in a very practical way a
  • 00:29:23
    power greater than ourselves the
  • 00:29:26
    acknowledgment that i am not the summit
  • 00:29:29
    of all power it's the
  • 00:29:31
    teasing of the notion that there's
  • 00:29:34
    somewhere to go that there's somewhere
  • 00:29:36
    to get to now when i
  • 00:29:38
    reinterpret the steps step two for me
  • 00:29:41
    was could you not be [ __ ] is that is
  • 00:29:43
    this all that there is are you
  • 00:29:46
    doomed cain like to wander the world
  • 00:29:49
    [ __ ] for all eternity cast out of eden
  • 00:29:53
    in your fuckness
  • 00:29:55
    but in the more uh traditional version
  • 00:29:59
    of step two
  • 00:30:00
    the evocation of a power greater than
  • 00:30:02
    yourself is a beautiful and powerful
  • 00:30:05
    thing
  • 00:30:06
    you
  • 00:30:06
    know it can be and
  • 00:30:10
    for me is the idea of god of ultimate
  • 00:30:13
    power of omnipotence of ultimate grace
  • 00:30:17
    but more practicably someone said to me
  • 00:30:19
    and it's worth acknowledging at this
  • 00:30:21
    point that everything i've got to say
  • 00:30:23
    that's of any value was once said to me
  • 00:30:26
    by someone else and the stuff that
  • 00:30:27
    sounds crazy i'm probably improvising
  • 00:30:30
    someone said to me
  • 00:30:32
    all this power has to do
  • 00:30:35
    that's greater than yourself is move you
  • 00:30:37
    from
  • 00:30:38
    drinking all the time
  • 00:30:40
    to not drinking all the time
  • 00:30:43
    can you see people that are using this
  • 00:30:45
    program to not drink all the time have
  • 00:30:48
    you met people that used to take drugs
  • 00:30:51
    every day continually and now one day at
  • 00:30:54
    a time never take drugs
  • 00:30:56
    well now 16 and a half years into work
  • 00:30:59
    in this program around substance misuse
  • 00:31:01
    i am one of those people i used to drink
  • 00:31:03
    and take drugs every single day but some
  • 00:31:07
    somehow something happened on december
  • 00:31:09
    the 13th 2002 that meant that from that
  • 00:31:12
    day onward one day at a time i didn't
  • 00:31:15
    need to drink or take drugs now i apply
  • 00:31:18
    this program in numerous areas of my
  • 00:31:21
    life
  • 00:31:22
    and every time i use it it works it's
  • 00:31:24
    kind of like brazilian jiu jitsu
  • 00:31:26
    brazilian jiu jitsu works if it's not
  • 00:31:29
    working for you you're not [ __ ] doing
  • 00:31:31
    it properly the results are in on
  • 00:31:33
    brazilian jiu jitsu it works it's the
  • 00:31:35
    same with the 12-step program if it's
  • 00:31:37
    not working you're not working it
  • 00:31:39
    properly
  • 00:31:40
    step two is about hope whether it's hope
  • 00:31:44
    that you can change substance misuse
  • 00:31:46
    hope that you can change the way that
  • 00:31:48
    you treat your partner
  • 00:31:50
    whatever it is it's inviting and
  • 00:31:53
    accepting the possibility of change that
  • 00:31:56
    there is a power that can change you
  • 00:31:58
    from a person that drinks and takes
  • 00:31:59
    drugs to a person who doesn't drink and
  • 00:32:01
    take drugs to a person who's obsessed
  • 00:32:03
    about what other people think of you and
  • 00:32:04
    don't feel good enough unless you get
  • 00:32:05
    continual approval to a person who can
  • 00:32:07
    quite happily live without that
  • 00:32:09
    and here is another key component one
  • 00:32:12
    day at a time
  • 00:32:13
    none of us can ever attack the glacial
  • 00:32:16
    edifice of forever it's too much for us
  • 00:32:19
    not to mention it's an abstract concept
  • 00:32:21
    you will never be living the whole rest
  • 00:32:23
    of your life in one particular moment
  • 00:32:26
    you will be living your life in tiny
  • 00:32:29
    bite-sized chunks unless like me you
  • 00:32:32
    occasionally try to inhabit the
  • 00:32:34
    imaginary projection of forever an
  • 00:32:38
    unbearable place to be an unlovely
  • 00:32:42
    safari to find yourself in in your own
  • 00:32:44
    mind
  • 00:32:45
    a power greater than myself has restored
  • 00:32:48
    me to sanity a power greater than myself
  • 00:32:51
    can continually take me out of my
  • 00:32:54
    madness and deposit me once again
  • 00:32:56
    in a kind of simple comfort it is
  • 00:32:58
    possible for me to not be [ __ ] i've
  • 00:33:00
    seen people that are terrible drug
  • 00:33:02
    addicts stop taking drugs i've seen
  • 00:33:04
    people that
  • 00:33:06
    are obsessed with themselves and
  • 00:33:07
    obsessed with sex any of the numerous
  • 00:33:10
    manifestation of the condition of
  • 00:33:11
    addiction or attachment or whatever you
  • 00:33:13
    want to call it can be addressed
  • 00:33:16
    by using this program
  • 00:33:18
    so step two
  • 00:33:21
    came to believe that a power greater
  • 00:33:23
    than ourselves could restore us to
  • 00:33:25
    sanity
  • 00:33:27
    there is a power great in ourselves
  • 00:33:29
    we are insane it's possible for us to
  • 00:33:32
    change it's a step that's based on hope
  • 00:33:36
    on your worksheets you'll see that the
  • 00:33:37
    first question is do i need to change in
  • 00:33:40
    a sense that's a reiteration of the step
  • 00:33:42
    one principle just to really goad you
  • 00:33:45
    over the line there just in case you've
  • 00:33:47
    already taken step one you've taken a
  • 00:33:49
    deep breath you've shut your eyes and
  • 00:33:50
    you've already gone oh [ __ ] it no i
  • 00:33:52
    don't need to change i want to plow on
  • 00:33:54
    if you recognize that you need to change
  • 00:33:56
    that you want to change that you've
  • 00:33:58
    accepted that change is necessary
  • 00:34:02
    we're now creating the conditions for
  • 00:34:04
    change to take place
  • 00:34:06
    the second question do i accept that
  • 00:34:08
    change means that i have to think and
  • 00:34:10
    act differently
  • 00:34:11
    it's quite a difficult proposal to
  • 00:34:14
    accept because i often want when i say
  • 00:34:17
    that you know often when i'm challenged
  • 00:34:20
    by something when i've acknowledged that
  • 00:34:22
    i've got a problem really what i want is
  • 00:34:24
    my outer life to confer conform to my
  • 00:34:27
    wishes i don't want to act differently i
  • 00:34:29
    don't want to think differently but this
  • 00:34:32
    program makes clear that i have a kind
  • 00:34:35
    of personal authority and autonomy and
  • 00:34:39
    that the responsibility for change lies
  • 00:34:42
    with me i will have to start doing
  • 00:34:44
    things that i haven't previously done i
  • 00:34:47
    will have to stop doing things that i've
  • 00:34:49
    previously been doing it's a difficult
  • 00:34:52
    thing to embrace
  • 00:34:54
    so when i notice myself thinking the
  • 00:34:56
    same thoughts like oh i want to look at
  • 00:34:58
    my phone straight away i want to see if
  • 00:35:00
    there's been you know an email from
  • 00:35:02
    another nation
  • 00:35:04
    verifying me
  • 00:35:05
    showering me with digital
  • 00:35:07
    self-validation
  • 00:35:09
    i have to think differently i have to go
  • 00:35:11
    no i've taken step one around looking at
  • 00:35:13
    my phone that's something i'm powerless
  • 00:35:15
    over and that made my life unmanageable
  • 00:35:16
    i don't want to do that anymore now i've
  • 00:35:18
    come to believe that power greater than
  • 00:35:19
    myself can restore me to sanity that
  • 00:35:21
    it's not necessary that i don't live in
  • 00:35:23
    a universe without options or choices
  • 00:35:25
    that this is just the standard that for
  • 00:35:27
    me every day has to be the relentless
  • 00:35:29
    march of glancing at the phone i now
  • 00:35:31
    recognize it's possible to not do that
  • 00:35:34
    so i have to think and act differently i
  • 00:35:37
    have to move from a state where i'm
  • 00:35:38
    dependent on that behavior to a state
  • 00:35:41
    where i welcome the terrifying abyss of
  • 00:35:45
    not knowing
  • 00:35:46
    you know in a sense all addiction and
  • 00:35:48
    repeated behaviors is an attempt to
  • 00:35:50
    provide a kind of regulation a sort of
  • 00:35:54
    self-evoked parentheses to hold me in
  • 00:35:58
    the horror of this world in a world that
  • 00:36:00
    doesn't provide us with enough
  • 00:36:02
    structures and systems and comforts
  • 00:36:04
    when someone said to me once well done
  • 00:36:06
    you how clever of you to become a heroin
  • 00:36:08
    addict how you found a way out you found
  • 00:36:11
    a way of dealing with your feelings in a
  • 00:36:13
    sense any of us that have got some
  • 00:36:15
    behavior that's no longer working for us
  • 00:36:17
    should be applauded for at least
  • 00:36:18
    attempting to make life manageable but
  • 00:36:21
    the problem is as we learned in step one
  • 00:36:23
    that behavior is no longer working it
  • 00:36:26
    has to be arrested it has to be
  • 00:36:28
    addressed
  • 00:36:29
    now we tentatively somewhat timidly
  • 00:36:33
    embark on a journey of hope it's pretty
  • 00:36:36
    frightening it's frightening to be a
  • 00:36:38
    drug addict and put down drugs it's
  • 00:36:41
    frightening to be a co-dependent person
  • 00:36:43
    and say no i'm going to relate to my
  • 00:36:45
    partner differently now these
  • 00:36:48
    these
  • 00:36:49
    changes mean that you are confronted by
  • 00:36:51
    the fear that you were trying to avoid
  • 00:36:53
    by indulging in that behavior in the
  • 00:36:55
    first place that's why something as
  • 00:36:58
    seemingly parochial and mundane as not
  • 00:37:00
    looking at my phone for me can be a sort
  • 00:37:03
    of
  • 00:37:04
    like slices open the intestines of my
  • 00:37:07
    self-obsession and dread of the world
  • 00:37:09
    like suddenly here i am eviscerated
  • 00:37:12
    confronted with oh my god the reason you
  • 00:37:14
    were looking your phone is because you
  • 00:37:16
    can't bear to be you the reason you're
  • 00:37:18
    masturbating is because you can't bear
  • 00:37:20
    to be you the reason you're thinking if
  • 00:37:22
    i get that rise if i get that job if i
  • 00:37:24
    make that movie oh it's because you
  • 00:37:26
    can't bear to be you and there's a
  • 00:37:28
    reason that you can't be it bear to be
  • 00:37:29
    you and that's because there is no you
  • 00:37:32
    the entire thing is a construct made up
  • 00:37:34
    of biochemical drives and memory not
  • 00:37:36
    that you're not a unique and wonderful
  • 00:37:39
    human individual as unique as your own
  • 00:37:41
    fingerprint of course you are the whole
  • 00:37:43
    point of 12-step recovery is to recover
  • 00:37:45
    the person you are intended to be that
  • 00:37:47
    assumes that there was an innate
  • 00:37:49
    teleology that you were embarking upon
  • 00:37:52
    as surely as a seed becomes a tree no
  • 00:37:55
    one would question that ordinary miracle
  • 00:37:57
    that encapsulated there within the acorn
  • 00:38:00
    is the miracle of the mighty oak none of
  • 00:38:03
    us questions that and few oak trees in
  • 00:38:05
    their adolescent sapling stage have some
  • 00:38:08
    overbearing father or negligent mother
  • 00:38:11
    barking at them that they're too fat or
  • 00:38:13
    they're not good enough or they'll never
  • 00:38:15
    be as good as their brother tree the
  • 00:38:17
    journey of recovery step two in
  • 00:38:19
    particular takes you back to a place
  • 00:38:22
    where you recognize that you were going
  • 00:38:24
    somewhere that there is a better version
  • 00:38:26
    of you this is the beauty and the
  • 00:38:27
    optimism of this program that you are
  • 00:38:30
    not worthless that your own belief that
  • 00:38:32
    you are worthless is as much as an
  • 00:38:34
    illusion that you could make yourself
  • 00:38:35
    happy with a life of endless ferraris
  • 00:38:38
    and blow jobs we know that's an illusion
  • 00:38:40
    now particularly if you're a fragile and
  • 00:38:43
    awkward driver such as myself i struggle
  • 00:38:45
    anyway even when i'm trying to stay bang
  • 00:38:47
    on that highway code a few twitches in
  • 00:38:50
    the region of the groin is the last
  • 00:38:51
    thing i need
  • 00:38:53
    straight into the crash barriers
  • 00:38:55
    so step two
  • 00:38:58
    is about hope is about positivity it's
  • 00:39:01
    the acceptance that there is a better
  • 00:39:03
    you waiting to be born
  • 00:39:06
    part of step two is having a conception
  • 00:39:08
    of a higher power that might be
  • 00:39:10
    difficult for you because your previous
  • 00:39:11
    experiences with god and religion
  • 00:39:14
    and spirituality might have been
  • 00:39:17
    negative you might have experienced so
  • 00:39:18
    much pain and trauma and suffering in
  • 00:39:20
    your life that the idea of believing in
  • 00:39:22
    god now seems sort of naive and
  • 00:39:24
    superstitious and there's been times in
  • 00:39:26
    my life that i've thought that you know
  • 00:39:28
    that religion is for sort of crazy
  • 00:39:31
    white people and
  • 00:39:32
    fragile mad frantic brown people
  • 00:39:35
    religion gets bad pr the only time you
  • 00:39:38
    encounter religion these days is someone
  • 00:39:42
    has committed some atrocity or someone's
  • 00:39:44
    not letting someone else do what they
  • 00:39:46
    want in a bedroom or a clinic you know
  • 00:39:48
    but this is not the religion or the
  • 00:39:50
    spirituality that we're dealing with
  • 00:39:51
    here this is really this is spirituality
  • 00:39:54
    as you understand it a power greater
  • 00:39:56
    than yourself as you understand it this
  • 00:39:58
    for me is not an opportunity to be glib
  • 00:40:01
    you shouldn't be like
  • 00:40:02
    nominating some ridiculous abstract
  • 00:40:05
    caricature of god or some sort of simple
  • 00:40:09
    obvious dumb deity oh well could a power
  • 00:40:11
    greater than myself just be this statue
  • 00:40:14
    no
  • 00:40:15
    it's
  • 00:40:16
    for me
  • 00:40:17
    this conception of god this invitation
  • 00:40:19
    to believe in a power greater than
  • 00:40:21
    yourself
  • 00:40:23
    it can be very um
  • 00:40:25
    humbling
  • 00:40:26
    because it's it felt to me like a return
  • 00:40:29
    to a sort of innocence
  • 00:40:32
    you know like most cynics and skeptics
  • 00:40:36
    are
  • 00:40:37
    wounded
  • 00:40:38
    it's hard to once again
  • 00:40:41
    open your heart particularly if
  • 00:40:44
    you've just let go of a behavior
  • 00:40:48
    or a substance that was holding your
  • 00:40:50
    life together and stripped of that
  • 00:40:52
    carapace you're now being invited to
  • 00:40:56
    open your mind to the possibility of a
  • 00:40:58
    power great than yourself
  • 00:41:00
    the important thing of course is it's
  • 00:41:02
    not being prescribed to you
  • 00:41:04
    it's not some austere
  • 00:41:07
    patriarchal
  • 00:41:08
    figure
  • 00:41:09
    it's not some hand-me-down deity from a
  • 00:41:13
    culture that doesn't love you
  • 00:41:16
    it's simply a personal willingness
  • 00:41:20
    to
  • 00:41:21
    accept or even inquire
  • 00:41:24
    into the idea
  • 00:41:26
    of a better version of yourself
  • 00:41:29
    of a way out
  • 00:41:31
    of a way out of the synaptic code the
  • 00:41:33
    neurological trap that you've been
  • 00:41:36
    inhabiting that's no longer working for
  • 00:41:38
    you if that's that could be something as
  • 00:41:41
    disposable as i want to change the way i
  • 00:41:44
    use the phone it could be something as
  • 00:41:46
    life-altering as i can't continue to
  • 00:41:50
    drink or take drugs whether it's
  • 00:41:52
    an overtly radical change
  • 00:41:55
    or a small change as you continue your
  • 00:41:58
    journey of self-improvement
  • 00:42:01
    step two is a necessity
  • 00:42:03
    and an understanding and an acceptance
  • 00:42:06
    of a power greater than yourself
  • 00:42:09
    is a necessary component but consider
  • 00:42:11
    the alternative but there is no power
  • 00:42:14
    greater than yourself isn't that even
  • 00:42:16
    more crazy that you've already fully
  • 00:42:18
    inhabited all possibility the sort of
  • 00:42:21
    narcissistic whiplash of that that this
  • 00:42:25
    is the only you that you could ever be
  • 00:42:27
    that's more insane than the idea that
  • 00:42:30
    there is
  • 00:42:31
    a
  • 00:42:33
    better you waiting for you to arrive
  • 00:42:36
    step two
  • 00:42:38
    like much of the 12-step program
  • 00:42:41
    is a very broad spectrum you could
  • 00:42:44
    approach it
  • 00:42:46
    with deep esotericism you could spend
  • 00:42:48
    time now contemplating the nature of god
  • 00:42:52
    the nature of being the nature of
  • 00:42:54
    consciousness the possibility of
  • 00:42:57
    migrating from one aspect of yourself to
  • 00:43:00
    another the idea that you may already be
  • 00:43:04
    a kind of shell that the pain the call
  • 00:43:07
    to arms that you felt and acknowledged
  • 00:43:09
    in step one was merely the commencement
  • 00:43:13
    of a metamorphoses for we know don't we
  • 00:43:17
    that the caterpillar don't merely sprout
  • 00:43:19
    antenna and wings in that poo pie
  • 00:43:22
    not poo pie not some fecal pastry no
  • 00:43:26
    in the cocoon
  • 00:43:28
    that the caterpillar
  • 00:43:31
    deconstitutes
  • 00:43:32
    entirely becomes as liquid that there is
  • 00:43:36
    a kind of death of the old self the
  • 00:43:38
    metamorphoses to take place
  • 00:43:41
    step two is about hope
  • 00:43:44
    just a gentle acceptance of fragile hope
  • 00:43:49
    do these worksheets complete the step
  • 00:43:52
    two worksheet and then spend a moment
  • 00:43:55
    reflecting
  • 00:43:57
    on the gentle possibility
  • 00:43:59
    that you can become a different version
  • 00:44:01
    of yourself that you needn't continually
  • 00:44:05
    be occupied by the thoughts that you've
  • 00:44:07
    had that you are more
  • 00:44:09
    than a vessel for concepts and ideas
  • 00:44:12
    particularly if these concepts and ideas
  • 00:44:15
    are painful for you
  • 00:44:17
    step two
  • 00:44:19
    is embarking on this journey with hope
  • 00:44:23
    with optimism with the fragile belief
  • 00:44:26
    that you may be beautiful that there may
  • 00:44:28
    be a wonderful life for you that you
  • 00:44:31
    needn't live in the tethered misery of
  • 00:44:36
    post-enlightenment rationalism if i may
  • 00:44:38
    be so bold
  • 00:44:40
    we are born we are material we die we
  • 00:44:43
    live in a bag of skin we are organs
  • 00:44:47
    functioning in some delicate inner
  • 00:44:50
    ballet that will one day necessarily end
  • 00:44:53
    what is behind this cosmology what is
  • 00:44:57
    behind it how is the material world
  • 00:45:00
    suspended
  • 00:45:02
    held continuing is there a way that we
  • 00:45:05
    can access it through ritual through
  • 00:45:08
    prayer through practice all we need to
  • 00:45:10
    do is invite these possibilities into
  • 00:45:13
    our mind to
  • 00:45:15
    let the drawbridge down to allow
  • 00:45:17
    yourself to be bare to hope to dare to
  • 00:45:21
    feel to look for a moment beyond the
  • 00:45:24
    fear of self-prohibiting belief and to
  • 00:45:27
    accept that there is another way this is
  • 00:45:30
    where this program will take you
  • 00:45:32
    spend a moment
  • 00:45:34
    believing that it is possible for you to
  • 00:45:36
    change
  • 00:45:38
    then you will be ready to do step three
  • 00:45:42
    [Music]
  • 00:45:49
    step three is are you on your own gonna
  • 00:45:52
    unfuck yourself or put another way
  • 00:45:56
    if the answer to your problems was in
  • 00:45:58
    your own head you would have found it by
  • 00:46:00
    now
  • 00:46:01
    in the original formulation step three
  • 00:46:04
    is written we made a decision to turn
  • 00:46:06
    our life and our will over to the care
  • 00:46:08
    of god as we understood god this is an
  • 00:46:12
    acknowledgment that our plan is not
  • 00:46:14
    working that what we've been doing up
  • 00:46:16
    till now whether it's habitual drinking
  • 00:46:19
    habitual drug use or obsessive looking
  • 00:46:22
    at the phone is no longer a successful
  • 00:46:25
    method for dealing with the problem of
  • 00:46:27
    being you it's a willingness to let go
  • 00:46:30
    of your plan
  • 00:46:32
    the first three steps are creating the
  • 00:46:34
    conditions laying the foundation for the
  • 00:46:37
    more mechanized and dare i say academic
  • 00:46:41
    aspects of this program step four and
  • 00:46:44
    five are about inventory and confession
  • 00:46:47
    but step three is an aspect of this
  • 00:46:50
    program that i continually return to
  • 00:46:52
    because whenever i've got a problem
  • 00:46:53
    whenever i'm in pain whenever i'm
  • 00:46:54
    unhappy i have to at least be open to
  • 00:46:57
    the possibility that the reason for it
  • 00:46:59
    is that i think i'm in control of the
  • 00:47:01
    universe it's often that whether i'm sat
  • 00:47:05
    in traffic ranting and raving or if i'm
  • 00:47:08
    trying to control my personal
  • 00:47:10
    relationships this
  • 00:47:12
    mistaken belief that i am personally in
  • 00:47:15
    charge of the world leads me to conflict
  • 00:47:18
    and discomfort like so
  • 00:47:22
    once i admit there's a problem
  • 00:47:24
    it's possible that the problem could
  • 00:47:26
    change
  • 00:47:27
    i'm now
  • 00:47:29
    ready for a bit of a kicker that and and
  • 00:47:31
    that is that it's not me that's going to
  • 00:47:34
    bring about these new conditions not
  • 00:47:37
    using the techniques and methods i've
  • 00:47:39
    been using up to now that's very obvious
  • 00:47:41
    when like if your plan is what's your
  • 00:47:43
    plan russell well what i thought i'd do
  • 00:47:45
    is i'd smoke crack and heroin every day
  • 00:47:48
    and create psychological conditions i
  • 00:47:50
    can live with is the plan going well oh
  • 00:47:52
    not really actually i've become
  • 00:47:54
    unemployable and no one can ever love me
  • 00:47:57
    okay and with a less obvious example
  • 00:48:00
    like the phone news what's your plan
  • 00:48:02
    russell oh i'm gonna make myself feel
  • 00:48:03
    good because hopefully someone on
  • 00:48:05
    twitter will have said that they like my
  • 00:48:07
    hair is it working
  • 00:48:09
    is it is there enough compliments do we
  • 00:48:12
    need to dig shelley from the cold dead
  • 00:48:15
    earth so that he can write some ode to
  • 00:48:18
    your hair that might finally fill you up
  • 00:48:21
    or is your plan not working do you need
  • 00:48:24
    another plan are you willing to we know
  • 00:48:27
    that i've admitted that there's a
  • 00:48:28
    problem we know that i've come to
  • 00:48:30
    believe that a power greater than myself
  • 00:48:31
    can restore me insanity i've done those
  • 00:48:33
    worksheets and you shouldn't be even
  • 00:48:34
    watching this if you haven't done those
  • 00:48:36
    things so you're there too you've
  • 00:48:37
    admitted you've got a problem you know
  • 00:48:39
    it's possible for that problem to change
  • 00:48:41
    and now we're ready to accept a new
  • 00:48:44
    system now we're ready to step out of
  • 00:48:46
    our previous modality our personal kubla
  • 00:48:50
    khan of domed authority where we are our
  • 00:48:54
    own personal jesus our own deity
  • 00:48:58
    making free wishes to ourselves and
  • 00:49:00
    never remembering to wish for infinite
  • 00:49:03
    more wishes with the last one trapped in
  • 00:49:06
    an infinite loop of misery so for me
  • 00:49:11
    step three is essentially like oh
  • 00:49:14
    man as i wrote it are you on your own
  • 00:49:17
    gonna unfuck yourself no i'm not i've
  • 00:49:20
    looked at my life i've seen what's going
  • 00:49:22
    down what happens is this i have
  • 00:49:23
    unfulfilling relationships i get kicked
  • 00:49:25
    out of jobs i piss people off i'm lonely
  • 00:49:29
    i'm unhappy now like i've had the gift
  • 00:49:31
    of living
  • 00:49:33
    up to the point when i stopped taking
  • 00:49:34
    drugs a pretty extreme life and then if
  • 00:49:36
    bloody hell to be honest
  • 00:49:39
    it continued being extreme because i was
  • 00:49:41
    dealing with things like fame and
  • 00:49:43
    celebrity which
  • 00:49:44
    believe me are pretty toxic and
  • 00:49:47
    addictive in themselves what is fame
  • 00:49:50
    other than
  • 00:49:52
    placing an image of yourself in the
  • 00:49:54
    world and then having some relationship
  • 00:49:56
    with this mad abstraction over which
  • 00:49:58
    you've got no bloody control
  • 00:50:02
    but every so often like all forms of
  • 00:50:04
    addiction throws you a bone gets you
  • 00:50:06
    into a restaurant and other forms of
  • 00:50:09
    reward which hardly need further
  • 00:50:12
    explanation the evidence is that i need
  • 00:50:15
    help
  • 00:50:16
    i need
  • 00:50:18
    help
  • 00:50:19
    it's a
  • 00:50:20
    it's a step that i've noticed people
  • 00:50:22
    don't like taking
  • 00:50:24
    people don't like accepting that
  • 00:50:28
    they don't have the resources to change
  • 00:50:30
    their own life people don't like being
  • 00:50:33
    humbled
  • 00:50:34
    i suppose there's a correlation between
  • 00:50:38
    humility and humiliation
  • 00:50:41
    i've experienced quite a lot of
  • 00:50:42
    humiliation in my life my life has led
  • 00:50:44
    me to these sort of
  • 00:50:47
    junctions of despair where i felt
  • 00:50:49
    annihilated and worthless and i found it
  • 00:50:53
    difficult to discern between
  • 00:50:56
    humility and humiliation
  • 00:50:59
    the dictionary definition and geez why
  • 00:51:02
    not go with that of humility is
  • 00:51:04
    awareness of one's relative
  • 00:51:06
    insignificance this needn't be a tool
  • 00:51:09
    for berating the self oh i'm scum i'm
  • 00:51:12
    not good enough it's just a kind of
  • 00:51:14
    awareness that within the scope of the
  • 00:51:16
    limitless
  • 00:51:17
    my hopes and dreams and aspirations and
  • 00:51:20
    my fears and my self-flagellation and my
  • 00:51:22
    self-loathing
  • 00:51:24
    are
  • 00:51:25
    not of absolute
  • 00:51:27
    value they are not
  • 00:51:29
    sublimely valuable they are not
  • 00:51:32
    ultimately valuable
  • 00:51:33
    the humility becomes a kind of uh
  • 00:51:38
    fulcrum a launch pad for a different
  • 00:51:41
    perspective
  • 00:51:43
    the acknowledgement the acceptance that
  • 00:51:45
    my plan isn't working whether my plan is
  • 00:51:49
    become famous take loads of drugs have
  • 00:51:52
    loads of sex
  • 00:51:54
    look at the phone all the time whatever
  • 00:51:56
    this plan is
  • 00:51:58
    is not working
  • 00:52:00
    what's kind of beautiful
  • 00:52:03
    is the recognition that the drive the
  • 00:52:05
    wanting the yearning behind it is not
  • 00:52:08
    inherently bad
  • 00:52:11
    that it's a kind of in a sense
  • 00:52:14
    neutral force that we can guide and
  • 00:52:18
    direct
  • 00:52:20
    that
  • 00:52:20
    of our own
  • 00:52:22
    metal of our own steam
  • 00:52:25
    we've not directed particularly well
  • 00:52:27
    like myself i always have a tendency to
  • 00:52:29
    believe that other people's approval
  • 00:52:32
    money fame celebrity power prestige
  • 00:52:34
    privilege these things will make me
  • 00:52:35
    better my experience is none of them
  • 00:52:37
    ever do and whenever i arrive at the
  • 00:52:39
    desperation that i'm deposited at when
  • 00:52:41
    all my plans go wrong i became i become
  • 00:52:43
    once again willing to be taught that
  • 00:52:46
    seems to be my journey
  • 00:52:49
    for me
  • 00:52:50
    as soon as i succumb to pride and
  • 00:52:52
    self-centeredness
  • 00:52:54
    i'm vulnerable the journey is begun
  • 00:52:56
    sooner or later i'm gonna be
  • 00:52:59
    cut down i'm gonna be disappointed i'm
  • 00:53:01
    gonna be hurt once i'm in pride once i'm
  • 00:53:03
    in ego pain is coming to have a more
  • 00:53:06
    specific understanding of step three
  • 00:53:07
    look at your worksheets ask yourself am
  • 00:53:09
    i unsatisfied in my personal
  • 00:53:11
    relationships am i unsatisfied in my
  • 00:53:13
    work
  • 00:53:14
    well
  • 00:53:15
    obviously at this point we've admitted
  • 00:53:17
    we've got a problem we've come to
  • 00:53:18
    believe that power grating ourselves can
  • 00:53:20
    restore us to sanity and now we're
  • 00:53:22
    starting to accept that we're going to
  • 00:53:24
    need a new plan that this
  • 00:53:27
    that authority
  • 00:53:29
    can be
  • 00:53:30
    benevolent kind and compassionate this
  • 00:53:33
    is where this conception of a higher
  • 00:53:35
    power starts to play a significant role
  • 00:53:37
    in our progress a power grating
  • 00:53:39
    ourselves that isn't
  • 00:53:41
    a negative
  • 00:53:43
    authoritative power not some personal
  • 00:53:46
    despot that's going to ensure continuing
  • 00:53:49
    punishment but loving authority it was
  • 00:53:52
    only when i started working this program
  • 00:53:55
    and started to
  • 00:53:56
    attend support groups
  • 00:53:59
    based around the 12 steps that i began
  • 00:54:01
    to encounter
  • 00:54:03
    authority
  • 00:54:04
    that was
  • 00:54:07
    compassionate and kind
  • 00:54:09
    mike's early life experiences of
  • 00:54:11
    authority were either inefficient
  • 00:54:14
    negligent incompetent or downright
  • 00:54:17
    malevolent
  • 00:54:19
    but when you're working a 12-step
  • 00:54:20
    program you are
  • 00:54:22
    participating in a mentality and our
  • 00:54:25
    ideology and a community that is about
  • 00:54:28
    reaching beyond the self by its very
  • 00:54:30
    nature it's about overcoming the
  • 00:54:33
    pitfalls of an egocentric lifestyle of
  • 00:54:37
    an egocentric world view
  • 00:54:39
    so
  • 00:54:40
    it's a pl it's safe to accept this plan
  • 00:54:44
    we don't need to have that kind of um
  • 00:54:48
    fee braille
  • 00:54:49
    anxious
  • 00:54:51
    resistance to other people's ideas that
  • 00:54:54
    i know that i personally felt my
  • 00:54:56
    assumption was
  • 00:54:58
    i can't trust nobody i can't trust
  • 00:55:00
    nobody but the conditions and codes of
  • 00:55:04
    the program that i had prior to work in
  • 00:55:07
    this program will become clearer when we
  • 00:55:10
    apply the tools of inventory that step
  • 00:55:13
    four and five comprise for now we're
  • 00:55:16
    still preparing the conditions to embark
  • 00:55:18
    on this journey that because that's
  • 00:55:21
    rigorous the inventory process is
  • 00:55:23
    difficult the inventory process is where
  • 00:55:26
    this program becomes distinct from
  • 00:55:30
    tools
  • 00:55:31
    in personal development that i've found
  • 00:55:33
    less effective because they've amounted
  • 00:55:36
    to a kind of faith-based
  • 00:55:39
    sense that come on things are going to
  • 00:55:42
    get better life will improve be positive
  • 00:55:44
    all things that are you know necessary
  • 00:55:46
    and helpful but are not
  • 00:55:50
    administratively reliable it's the
  • 00:55:52
    pragmatism of this
  • 00:55:54
    12-step approach to spirituality that i
  • 00:55:57
    like even though i'm really down with
  • 00:56:00
    the
  • 00:56:01
    metaphysics
  • 00:56:02
    and the reflection and the mental
  • 00:56:05
    pirations
  • 00:56:06
    and spiritual masturbations is when it
  • 00:56:09
    comes down to
  • 00:56:11
    make an inventory let's try to truly
  • 00:56:13
    understand what's been going on why have
  • 00:56:15
    you lived this life whenever you stopped
  • 00:56:17
    and reflected and looked at the
  • 00:56:19
    conditions of your childhood the actions
  • 00:56:21
    of your adolescence but before we get
  • 00:56:24
    into that
  • 00:56:25
    let's become willing to accept another
  • 00:56:27
    plan because
  • 00:56:29
    this is the plan that we're about to put
  • 00:56:31
    into action in steps four and five all
  • 00:56:34
    the way through to step twelve so we
  • 00:56:36
    have to be absolutely sure that we have
  • 00:56:38
    fully accepted conceded to our innermost
  • 00:56:42
    selves that we are no longer in control
  • 00:56:44
    and that's a very very difficult thing
  • 00:56:47
    to do because most people that i know
  • 00:56:50
    who are
  • 00:56:52
    declared addicts
  • 00:56:53
    don't trust other people
  • 00:56:55
    don't feel good enough feel worthless
  • 00:56:57
    but the more that i've explored this
  • 00:56:59
    program and its principles outside of
  • 00:57:02
    the confines of acknowledged 12-step
  • 00:57:05
    support groups
  • 00:57:06
    the more i found that these are human
  • 00:57:08
    conditions that most people are
  • 00:57:11
    operating on a program of a kind in fact
  • 00:57:13
    to be a human is to have a program the
  • 00:57:16
    personality in itself is a set of
  • 00:57:18
    coordinates and beliefs behaviors and
  • 00:57:21
    systems that we live by we're not
  • 00:57:23
    choosing between having a program and
  • 00:57:26
    not having a program we're choosing
  • 00:57:28
    between a conscious program and an
  • 00:57:29
    unconscious program we all have a
  • 00:57:32
    program we have the pro program of our
  • 00:57:34
    race our class our sex gender the time
  • 00:57:37
    we were born in our familial program our
  • 00:57:39
    social program we've been conditioned
  • 00:57:41
    the very fact that you can understand
  • 00:57:43
    this language is evidence of your
  • 00:57:45
    programming a program is a deep code
  • 00:57:48
    most of us are unaware of the way we've
  • 00:57:50
    been coded unaware that if a particular
  • 00:57:53
    person says a particular thing at a
  • 00:57:55
    particular time suddenly we're
  • 00:57:57
    incandescent the fuse has been lit
  • 00:58:01
    you
  • 00:58:02
    press my buttons easily if someone says
  • 00:58:04
    the wrong thing to me or someone says
  • 00:58:06
    the right thing to me i'm an automaton
  • 00:58:08
    that's it i'm like the
  • 00:58:10
    action is set in motion
  • 00:58:13
    but this can be arrested and changed by
  • 00:58:15
    admitting it's a problem coming to
  • 00:58:17
    believe that it can change handing over
  • 00:58:18
    my will and my life there's no point in
  • 00:58:21
    living in the suspension of yeah i know
  • 00:58:23
    there's a problem yeah i reckon it could
  • 00:58:25
    become different it could improve
  • 00:58:28
    [ __ ] you i'm not willing to accept
  • 00:58:29
    another plan step three is where a lot
  • 00:58:31
    of people dismount a lot of people
  • 00:58:32
    disembark because people don't like
  • 00:58:35
    asking for help people don't like
  • 00:58:37
    accepting that
  • 00:58:40
    that
  • 00:58:41
    well for me the acceptance that my life
  • 00:58:42
    up until that point
  • 00:58:44
    had been a kind of mess
  • 00:58:47
    was difficult and to continue to accept
  • 00:58:49
    that you know it was really obvious when
  • 00:58:51
    i was dealing with cracking heroin it's
  • 00:58:52
    really obvious when i was dealing with
  • 00:58:53
    like excessive promiscuity
  • 00:58:56
    less obvious when it was like well what
  • 00:58:59
    do you mean i'm obsessed with fame and
  • 00:59:02
    therefore self these things keep
  • 00:59:04
    re-emerging they reform they
  • 00:59:06
    re-coagulate you think you've dealt with
  • 00:59:09
    addiction you think you've dealt with
  • 00:59:10
    the ego but
  • 00:59:12
    it
  • 00:59:13
    re-emerges it rebirths itself the kind
  • 00:59:16
    of this sort of this um the zombie able
  • 00:59:20
    to re-awaken continually it's very very
  • 00:59:24
    difficult to keep a clear perspective
  • 00:59:26
    impossible i would argue that's why step
  • 00:59:28
    three is necessary because you begin to
  • 00:59:30
    acknowledge no the problem was never
  • 00:59:32
    external it was never these objects that
  • 00:59:34
    i was fixating on it was the phenomena
  • 00:59:36
    itself the craving itself the self the
  • 00:59:40
    self-centeredness the perspective from
  • 00:59:42
    which i view the world is the very thing
  • 00:59:45
    that needs to change
  • 00:59:46
    viewing the world through a lens of
  • 00:59:48
    ideas a grid an unconscious grid of
  • 00:59:51
    perception it's only when i i'm willing
  • 00:59:53
    to say i don't want that anymore okay
  • 00:59:56
    and like at first it feels phony at
  • 00:59:58
    first it feels like some facsimile
  • 01:00:01
    something that it feels like a pageant
  • 01:00:03
    but once you've taken step 3 you realize
  • 01:00:06
    that the pageant is what's being
  • 01:00:07
    replaced that the illusion is where you
  • 01:00:09
    were previously living that the self is
  • 01:00:11
    the illusion
  • 01:00:12
    so by making a decision to turn our will
  • 01:00:15
    in our life over to the care of god as
  • 01:00:17
    we understand god
  • 01:00:18
    we are saying
  • 01:00:20
    i am willing to accept that the way that
  • 01:00:23
    i see the world that the thoughts that i
  • 01:00:25
    think that the actions i take may all be
  • 01:00:28
    entirely wrong this is a difficult point
  • 01:00:30
    for alcoholics and addicts because we
  • 01:00:32
    usually think oh i thought we were just
  • 01:00:34
    going to stop drinking and taking drugs
  • 01:00:35
    oh no that's merely the entry point to a
  • 01:00:39
    journey that leads you to total
  • 01:00:42
    surrender of the self a willingness to
  • 01:00:44
    say the way that i approach
  • 01:00:46
    relationships the way that i approach
  • 01:00:48
    work the way that i approach thought
  • 01:00:51
    is
  • 01:00:53
    incorrect
  • 01:00:54
    in urgent need of amendment
  • 01:00:58
    requires surrender
  • 01:01:01
    people don't like doing it because
  • 01:01:02
    essentially what you're letting go of is
  • 01:01:04
    yourself and no one wants to let go of
  • 01:01:06
    that but that's
  • 01:01:07
    what is required that is the requirement
  • 01:01:09
    but so that it doesn't seem so
  • 01:01:12
    overwhelmingly potent like some
  • 01:01:15
    metaphysical tide sweeping you away into
  • 01:01:19
    the limitless spilled cosmos let's break
  • 01:01:23
    it down into some things that are a
  • 01:01:24
    little more manageable some simple
  • 01:01:26
    interrogative inquiry
  • 01:01:31
    this is me and my silly little life am i
  • 01:01:33
    suffering from misery depression
  • 01:01:35
    unhappiness or low self-worth
  • 01:01:37
    yes
  • 01:01:38
    that's exactly what it feels like i've
  • 01:01:40
    got low self-worth
  • 01:01:42
    am i suffering from anxiety doubt or
  • 01:01:44
    perfectionism perfectionism that's an
  • 01:01:46
    easy one to mask it all behind isn't it
  • 01:01:48
    no i just want things to be right no you
  • 01:01:49
    don't you want to be in control you want
  • 01:01:51
    to be in control of reality you maniac
  • 01:01:54
    have you looked at the amazon whether
  • 01:01:56
    it's on fire or not it's beyond our
  • 01:01:59
    control great infinite tundras of nature
  • 01:02:03
    instantiating themselves without our
  • 01:02:05
    will where is it coming from where is
  • 01:02:08
    reality coming from where is it going
  • 01:02:10
    it's beyond my comprehension it's beyond
  • 01:02:12
    my understanding
  • 01:02:14
    yeah i'm trying to control it like as if
  • 01:02:16
    it was sort of dominoes as if it was
  • 01:02:18
    something simple as if it was something
  • 01:02:19
    that could be managed how ridiculous it
  • 01:02:21
    is to try and control our problems and
  • 01:02:23
    our own using the methods that have led
  • 01:02:25
    us to the problem in the first place i
  • 01:02:26
    know what i'll do i'll carry on any
  • 01:02:29
    version of self-reliance is that it's an
  • 01:02:31
    inability and unwillingness to step
  • 01:02:33
    outside the sort of cr not crucible the
  • 01:02:36
    kind of
  • 01:02:37
    what do i want to say sort of like the
  • 01:02:38
    limited pod of your own being
  • 01:02:41
    not accepting that the self is an event
  • 01:02:44
    not an object
  • 01:02:45
    that we are
  • 01:02:47
    continual
  • 01:02:48
    kinetic potential am i projecting
  • 01:02:51
    imaginary future scenarios then worrying
  • 01:02:53
    about i'm just a [ __ ] am that's all i
  • 01:02:55
    do i'm worrying about stuff i'm
  • 01:02:57
    fantasizing about something i don't want
  • 01:02:59
    to happen and then living in that mad
  • 01:03:01
    negative fantasy is it becoming clear to
  • 01:03:03
    me my plan is not working yeah that's
  • 01:03:05
    why i'm here that's why i'm willing to
  • 01:03:08
    do this video on my phone that's why i'm
  • 01:03:11
    willing to sit and listen to this this
  • 01:03:12
    is why i'm willing to consider an
  • 01:03:14
    alternative thankfully this desperation
  • 01:03:17
    has delivered me to a point where i'm
  • 01:03:19
    actually willing to change
  • 01:03:21
    like
  • 01:03:22
    man have you met happy people i see him
  • 01:03:24
    from time to time i don't know what the
  • 01:03:25
    [ __ ] to say and people that are together
  • 01:03:26
    that got their [ __ ] together i'm amazed
  • 01:03:28
    by him i'm amazed by him i sometimes
  • 01:03:31
    don't feel like i have the [ __ ]
  • 01:03:33
    authority to conclude a conversation let
  • 01:03:35
    alone get engaged in some didactic
  • 01:03:38
    self-help course but the only thing that
  • 01:03:41
    keeps me going is the knowledge that i'm
  • 01:03:43
    simply a conduit for some information
  • 01:03:46
    that's from elsewhere and i don't even
  • 01:03:48
    mean that in a mystical way like oh the
  • 01:03:50
    almighty i am his vessel although i do
  • 01:03:52
    mean that a bit i mean that there is a
  • 01:03:54
    program that's already been written that
  • 01:03:57
    works that works for me for severe
  • 01:03:59
    issues crack addiction heroin addiction
  • 01:04:01
    how many more [ __ ] times and also for
  • 01:04:04
    minor issues because any of us that have
  • 01:04:06
    gone through serious substance misuse
  • 01:04:08
    discover as soon as that's out of the
  • 01:04:10
    way that our behavioral addictions are
  • 01:04:13
    ultimately just as painful
  • 01:04:15
    is it clear that i need a new plan that
  • 01:04:17
    is not sourced from my own head and
  • 01:04:19
    drives if i'm to find fulfillment yes
  • 01:04:22
    this works is easy this plan of mine is
  • 01:04:24
    like a mind virus of self-obsession can
  • 01:04:27
    i surrender it am i open to a different
  • 01:04:28
    plan am i open to being guided i suppose
  • 01:04:31
    a key component of step 3
  • 01:04:33
    is becoming willing to be teachable
  • 01:04:37
    people don't want to be teachable
  • 01:04:39
    do they
  • 01:04:40
    it's quite nice now i look for
  • 01:04:42
    opportunities to be teachable in my life
  • 01:04:44
    i'm like oh please teach me brazilian
  • 01:04:46
    jiu jitsu teach me how to speak spanish
  • 01:04:48
    teach me anything i put myself in the
  • 01:04:51
    role of student
  • 01:04:53
    continually there is a kind of safety in
  • 01:04:56
    it there is a safety in this faith there
  • 01:04:58
    is a safety in this surrender there is a
  • 01:05:01
    safety from liberating myself from the
  • 01:05:03
    prison of my individualism that i
  • 01:05:06
    thought would ultimately bring me
  • 01:05:07
    salvation
  • 01:05:09
    they say don't they isaiah i mean he's
  • 01:05:11
    not a day he's a he presumably
  • 01:05:14
    fear not for i've redeemed you i have
  • 01:05:16
    called you by your name you are mine i
  • 01:05:18
    saw it on the wall brixton prison before
  • 01:05:20
    i was about to do some poetry man in a
  • 01:05:23
    prison i wasn't in the prison as an
  • 01:05:24
    inmate i'm let me urgently tell you no
  • 01:05:26
    disrespect if you are watching this in a
  • 01:05:28
    prison i hope you are and god knows i've
  • 01:05:30
    met enough people that have come from
  • 01:05:32
    behind the door to use a bit of prison
  • 01:05:34
    slang there to a life outside of
  • 01:05:36
    fulfillment there is no full stop there
  • 01:05:38
    is no end there's nothing that we've
  • 01:05:39
    done that can separate us forever from
  • 01:05:41
    god but my point is that i was there as
  • 01:05:42
    a tourist in the chapel brixton prison
  • 01:05:45
    about to participate in some
  • 01:05:47
    well-intended bitter nonsense and
  • 01:05:50
    nervous anxious before the performance
  • 01:05:52
    or a tablet on the wall i saw
  • 01:05:55
    the verse from as i fear not for i have
  • 01:05:56
    redeemed you i have called you by your
  • 01:05:58
    name you are mine fear not i'm down with
  • 01:06:01
    that i don't want to live in fear
  • 01:06:02
    anymore i want to be
  • 01:06:04
    free of the fear of the shame that have
  • 01:06:06
    defined me my whole life
  • 01:06:08
    fear not for i have redeemed you i have
  • 01:06:10
    called you by your name you are mine
  • 01:06:12
    redeemed i always assumed to mean
  • 01:06:14
    redemption salvation forgiveness
  • 01:06:16
    but i understood that redeemed means
  • 01:06:19
    can mean reclaim the same way that we
  • 01:06:22
    would redeem a voucher fear not for i've
  • 01:06:24
    redeemed you i've called you by your
  • 01:06:25
    name not
  • 01:06:26
    you lot i've called you by your name
  • 01:06:29
    russell fear not for i've redeemed you
  • 01:06:31
    i've called you by your name you are
  • 01:06:32
    mine the reason that we don't need to
  • 01:06:34
    fear is because we no longer belong to
  • 01:06:36
    ourselves my life i'll do what i want
  • 01:06:38
    with it who told you it's your life
  • 01:06:40
    where did you get the idea this is my
  • 01:06:42
    life these are my hands these are my
  • 01:06:44
    thoughts these are these things that
  • 01:06:46
    i've been given this multi-million
  • 01:06:48
    dollar inconceivable machine i can
  • 01:06:51
    control with my consciousness it's mine
  • 01:06:54
    it's my life to do what i want and what
  • 01:06:56
    i've decided to do is some version of
  • 01:06:58
    finding pleasure some version of
  • 01:07:01
    accepting external cultural coordinates
  • 01:07:04
    a rubric an external rubric designed by
  • 01:07:07
    other people that are already dead
  • 01:07:09
    that's perpetuated still and then i'll
  • 01:07:11
    establish my own ideas of what my worth
  • 01:07:14
    is in relation to those external
  • 01:07:16
    coordinates culture is not your friend
  • 01:07:18
    culture is your prison
  • 01:07:21
    so i'm willing to be redeemed
  • 01:07:25
    i'm willing to let go of myself i'm
  • 01:07:27
    willing to become teachable because i've
  • 01:07:29
    seen the results of my life and if you
  • 01:07:31
    are embarking on this course then
  • 01:07:32
    evidently you've seen the results of
  • 01:07:34
    your life up till now too you've become
  • 01:07:37
    willing you've accepted that you're
  • 01:07:39
    powerless that your life has become
  • 01:07:40
    unmanageable you've come to believe that
  • 01:07:42
    a power greater than yourself can
  • 01:07:43
    restore your sanity and now you are
  • 01:07:46
    willing to turn your life and your will
  • 01:07:47
    over to the care of god as you
  • 01:07:48
    understand god and if your god is not a
  • 01:07:50
    god that is benevolent and benign then
  • 01:07:52
    create one that is because wba said all
  • 01:07:55
    artists create their own religion will
  • 01:07:56
    become an artist because what choice do
  • 01:07:58
    you have create your own structures your
  • 01:08:02
    own culture your own way that loves you
  • 01:08:05
    the beauty of the 12-step system is that
  • 01:08:07
    there is no dominant didactic authority
  • 01:08:11
    telling you how to be merely the
  • 01:08:13
    acceptance the faith the belief that
  • 01:08:14
    within you truer than the egoic
  • 01:08:17
    construction of you is a divine aware
  • 01:08:20
    wisdom waiting to be awakened waiting to
  • 01:08:24
    be delivered but before we can live some
  • 01:08:27
    utopian life of bliss and if you want
  • 01:08:29
    any further evidence look this way
  • 01:08:31
    there's a lot more work to be done some
  • 01:08:34
    serious inventorying some
  • 01:08:36
    acknowledgements of patterns plots
  • 01:08:39
    foibles and flaws that need to be
  • 01:08:41
    exposed and undone and surrendered then
  • 01:08:44
    you will see the damage done the chaos
  • 01:08:47
    the wreckage of your life
  • 01:08:49
    once you've done some serious work in
  • 01:08:51
    that area it becomes quite simple stay
  • 01:08:52
    aware never switch off never go active
  • 01:08:55
    never go back into it through prayer and
  • 01:08:57
    meditation continually reach outward
  • 01:09:00
    outward but inward inward no subject
  • 01:09:02
    object suddenly beyond dualism limitless
  • 01:09:05
    oneness limitless oneness like i already
  • 01:09:07
    told you and there's no point realizing
  • 01:09:09
    god only to sit around
  • 01:09:12
    like either in a cave living off a
  • 01:09:14
    spoonful of rice a day or some other
  • 01:09:16
    form of masturbation realize god to be
  • 01:09:18
    of service
  • 01:09:19
    realize god to realize that oneness the
  • 01:09:23
    reason that heroism looks so beautiful
  • 01:09:25
    because in that moment of sacrifice
  • 01:09:27
    there was no me there was no you there
  • 01:09:29
    is only the oneness this can be realized
  • 01:09:32
    through this simple system what begins
  • 01:09:34
    as a process of letting go of very
  • 01:09:36
    obvious problems such as alcoholism or
  • 01:09:38
    addiction or looking at your phone too
  • 01:09:39
    much leads you
  • 01:09:41
    ineluctably
  • 01:09:42
    inevitably indefatigably too the
  • 01:09:45
    realization that the addicts the thing
  • 01:09:47
    that you were most addicted to was the
  • 01:09:48
    mirage of self that there is no self
  • 01:09:51
    there the experience of self the
  • 01:09:53
    awareness the consciousness itself this
  • 01:09:56
    is it
  • 01:09:57
    consciousness is not just one more
  • 01:09:59
    phenomena but the sea of all phenomena
  • 01:10:02
    and that we can access it if we free
  • 01:10:04
    ourselves of the illusory beliefs that
  • 01:10:06
    we are some kind of solid mental object
  • 01:10:10
    pecking through reality like a sort of
  • 01:10:12
    hammer nail relationship to the world
  • 01:10:15
    that none of it is real
  • 01:10:17
    none of it is real
  • 01:10:19
    so do your worksheet
  • 01:10:21
    have a little sit down and a little
  • 01:10:22
    think and then get back to me
  • 01:10:25
    go and read some sophiaism or
  • 01:10:28
    some scroll somewhere unpack it unroll
  • 01:10:31
    it
  • 01:10:32
    and then you know we'll see how we get
  • 01:10:34
    on but i tell you what i've spent ages
  • 01:10:35
    thinking about this stuff and it's um
  • 01:10:38
    i can't get beyond it i can't get out of
  • 01:10:40
    it it will meet you where you're at if
  • 01:10:42
    you just want to approach this very
  • 01:10:43
    simply you can approach it very simply
  • 01:10:45
    if you want to wank around in the
  • 01:10:47
    [ __ ] outer reaches of the cosmos i'll
  • 01:10:49
    see you up there either way the the
  • 01:10:52
    results are the same
  • 01:10:53
    the reason that the outside problem
  • 01:10:55
    world is a problem for you is because
  • 01:10:57
    the inside world is a problem but
  • 01:10:59
    luckily it's a problem that you've
  • 01:11:00
    constructed and that we can now
  • 01:11:01
    dismantle
  • 01:11:02
    thank you for watching the first three
  • 01:11:05
    steps of recovery with russell brandt
  • 01:11:07
    you can access the full 12-part course
  • 01:11:10
    with russell including worksheets and
  • 01:11:11
    bonus videos with a free 14-day trial of
  • 01:11:15
    commune membership just go to
  • 01:11:18
    onecoming.comtrial to sign up
  • 01:11:20
    here's what a few commune members have
  • 01:11:23
    been saying
  • 01:11:24
    about russell's course
  • 01:11:27
    from kiki
  • 01:11:28
    i have been in recovery clean and sober
  • 01:11:31
    for 28 years and russell's refreshing
  • 01:11:34
    position and perspectives are insightful
  • 01:11:36
    and tremendously helpful in an old
  • 01:11:39
    familiar way
  • 01:11:40
    yet brand new again thank you for this
  • 01:11:43
    precious gift and from carrie anne
  • 01:11:46
    russell stirs my soul with his twists
  • 01:11:48
    and turns articulating this crazy
  • 01:11:51
    material world and human experience
  • 01:11:54
    so if you want to continue with russell
  • 01:11:56
    into step 4 and all the way through step
  • 01:11:58
    12 this is your invitation just go to
  • 01:12:01
    onecommune.com
  • 01:12:03
    trial to finish the course i hope to see
  • 01:12:05
    you there
  • 01:12:06
    hey thanks for watching if you liked
  • 01:12:09
    this commune master class then i think
  • 01:12:11
    you'll love this video right here and if
  • 01:12:14
    you're interested in learning more about
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    commune you can find all of our courses
  • 01:12:19
    to help you live a healthy
  • 01:12:20
    purpose-filled life at one commune dot
  • 01:12:23
    com
Tags
  • 12-step program
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  • Russell Brand
  • Addiction
  • Personal growth
  • Spiritual awakening
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