00:00:00
like this is a really weird way to say
00:00:01
it is that you know people feel like
00:00:04
they feel something whenever they touch
00:00:06
another person and I remember like
00:00:09
whenever I first had like a girlfriend
00:00:11
and stuff I always hoped that I would
00:00:13
feel that way but it just felt the same
00:00:14
to me as touching like a a chair like I
00:00:17
never really felt anything like being
00:00:19
around or anyone and I realized that
00:00:23
like you know again I'm like an animal
00:00:26
or something like I don't even know
00:00:28
something like I don't even know
00:00:34
who isn't a fan of asmin
00:00:39
[Music]
00:00:44
gold
00:00:50
wa like honestly I feel like you can be
00:00:53
a fan of any type of YouTube genre and
00:00:56
you're going to watch asmin gold and
00:00:57
come out and be like ah you know
00:00:58
honestly he's a cool guy I've been
00:01:00
watching asmin gold for around over two
00:01:02
years every time I'm doing something
00:01:04
I'll just put on a long video of his and
00:01:06
have him as background sound this guy
00:01:09
gets crazy amount of views I mean he
00:01:12
knows how to milk the YouTube algorithm
00:01:14
he is a
00:01:16
[Music]
00:01:19
God he is a slob God many people not
00:01:22
just me think he's smart he's a wise
00:01:25
person that doesn't mean he doesn't have
00:01:26
issues he is also human he has problems
00:01:30
people tend to see that he's a dirty
00:01:32
person with a dirty house who doesn't
00:01:34
take care of himself and all of this
00:01:36
other stuff and they don't understand
00:01:39
why he is like that when obviously
00:01:41
there's a darker meaning behind the
00:01:44
whole reason he is like that and in this
00:01:46
video we're going to try to get to the
00:01:48
bottom of this a little context on why I
00:01:50
actually found out all this stuff I was
00:01:53
watching an asmin gold reaction video
00:01:55
called the asmin gold Rabbit Hole it was
00:01:57
a great video up until the minute mark
00:01:59
an hour and 23 minutes and 55 seconds
00:02:01
here asmin gold got really real for like
00:02:04
13 minutes and I just want to dissect
00:02:07
this video with you guys please if you
00:02:08
enjoy this video make sure to give it a
00:02:10
like I'm a new up incoming YouTuber and
00:02:12
I'm learning the game guys thank you the
00:02:15
beginning I mean I think for me
00:02:19
is like the reason I started Living like
00:02:22
that is that like growing up like I
00:02:24
always felt like I wasn't really a
00:02:27
normal person I wasn't really a person I
00:02:29
was like an animal right or like some
00:02:31
sort of like in between between an
00:02:32
animal and a person now obviously after
00:02:35
just watching that clip you probably
00:02:36
think he's just kidding it makes sense
00:02:38
when I was watching it I thought he was
00:02:40
kidding the chat made jokes but listen
00:02:42
to this because I just felt like I I
00:02:44
never really connected with people
00:02:46
people didn't really like me a lot uh
00:02:48
and like you know and like no no really
00:02:51
right I I wouldn't be able to like
00:02:52
interact with people a furry no no like
00:02:55
uh um I think a good way to explain it
00:02:58
is like a hong hongus or like a Golem
00:03:01
right it's like you're look like a
00:03:03
person you act like a person but you're
00:03:05
not really a person disassociation is a
00:03:07
mental process that can involve a range
00:03:09
of experiences from mild attachment to
00:03:11
more severe disconnection disassociation
00:03:14
is when someone feels disconnected from
00:03:15
their thoughts feelings memories or
00:03:17
sense of identity I'm not saying asmin
00:03:20
gold has this or maybe he has a slight
00:03:23
sense of it but it sounds like he has
00:03:25
something like disassociation uh that's
00:03:28
always the way that I felt about myself
00:03:29
like uh growing up because of how much
00:03:32
like I I would I had like a number of
00:03:33
like pretty weird friction points
00:03:34
growing up where it was like kind of a
00:03:37
shock for me to see like kind of how
00:03:39
much different I was than other people
00:03:41
and I I think that after doing that and
00:03:43
then growing also like I didn't really
00:03:45
get along like you know never had girls
00:03:47
like me I I I didn't really have like
00:03:49
the normal like you know like I guess
00:03:51
growing up experience that a lot of
00:03:53
people did now right here I'm a little
00:03:54
confused is asmin gold saying he was
00:03:56
trying he wasn't dirty he was clean and
00:03:59
it was feel hard to like keep a
00:04:01
girlfriend and everything and I was
00:04:02
always treated quite badly in that
00:04:04
respect too and I thought to myself like
00:04:06
well you know if I live this way and
00:04:10
even despite living this way like people
00:04:12
don't like me and I still feel like like
00:04:14
[ __ ] and people still like you know
00:04:16
don't want to be around me and and don't
00:04:18
like me what what's the what's the point
00:04:20
of trying to to take care of yourself
00:04:22
what's the point of trying to do this so
00:04:23
he's saying he did take care of himself
00:04:26
he was clean but still people didn't
00:04:28
like him or care about him which may
00:04:31
have led to the reason for his
00:04:33
disassociation like why why am I trying
00:04:36
to uh fix myself if the fixed version of
00:04:40
myself people don't want it
00:04:42
anyway people never like me anyway so
00:04:45
who
00:04:46
cares for yourself I don't care about
00:04:48
myself that's not important to me what
00:04:51
what was matter to me is the way people
00:04:52
see me like and I will tell you how much
00:04:56
that's not how much that's true this
00:04:58
next part to me is just
00:05:00
wild I I I have these side of my teeth
00:05:03
fixed because I usually look at my
00:05:05
monitor from this side my teeth here are
00:05:08
missing because I never felt like fixing
00:05:10
those because people don't see that a
00:05:11
lot on camera so it's not that big of a
00:05:13
deal that's the only reason that one
00:05:16
side of my teeth is fixed and the other
00:05:17
one isn't the sheer laziness and ability
00:05:20
to not care and just let your teeth rot
00:05:23
out to me is one of the most wildest
00:05:26
statements and even though I love asmin
00:05:28
gold it is actually sad to me because
00:05:32
obviously he's not going to get those
00:05:33
teeth back it's cuz this is a side I
00:05:36
usually am seeing on on
00:05:38
camera that's
00:05:40
it that's statism content brain yeah
00:05:42
exactly right when I hear him read that
00:05:45
chat it's almost like he's trying to
00:05:46
disguise like the dark messed up stuff
00:05:49
he's talking about by reading something
00:05:52
funny it's disturbing kind of and um you
00:05:55
can see it all the time yeah I probably
00:05:56
should get it fixed I I might do that at
00:05:58
some point but um yeah yeah no I I live
00:06:00
like a degenerate I live like an animal
00:06:02
and um I I I think that it took me a
00:06:05
long time to like cuz it was weird right
00:06:08
growing up uh and especially like having
00:06:11
a lot of
00:06:12
the like I I had like friends that like
00:06:15
were able to go forward and like do
00:06:17
things in their life that you know I I
00:06:19
was very like I was envious of right
00:06:20
it's like I I I I growing up like I had
00:06:24
to help my mom like I had to take a lot
00:06:26
of like my student loan money and like
00:06:27
any money that I made and like give all
00:06:29
that money to her here's where he starts
00:06:31
to get really open with like the
00:06:33
backstory of the [ __ ] up [ __ ] of his
00:06:35
life and honestly this is what made me
00:06:36
want to make this video because like she
00:06:39
wasn't getting a job and like if I
00:06:41
didn't do that then she'd be homeless
00:06:43
and I I like I mean how could I take
00:06:44
care of her right and so I had to do
00:06:46
that and so I couldn't really go out and
00:06:48
and live a life the way that you know I
00:06:50
think a lot of other people like would
00:06:51
naturally want want to right I I
00:06:54
couldn't go out and do you know live in
00:06:55
an apartment with like other friends of
00:06:57
mine I couldn't go and uh you know have
00:07:00
different types of experiences that you
00:07:03
know people had growing up and uh you
00:07:05
know then my teeth started falling out
00:07:07
and it's like everything in my life was
00:07:08
awful right is it making this up no I I
00:07:11
mean I I wish I mean you can go back and
00:07:12
look at the videos yourself right I mean
00:07:14
like it I mean I've recorded everything
00:07:16
in my life right it's not like it's a
00:07:17
big secret uh effective relationships as
00:07:19
well yeah exactly like I I couldn't
00:07:21
really have a girlfriend because like I
00:07:22
was dealing with this and then I had
00:07:24
other issues I didn't have mind to go
00:07:25
out or do anything and so uh yeah yeah
00:07:28
it's never good enough no oh yeah and
00:07:30
that's it and so that happened a lot and
00:07:34
uh it it it it got to the point to where
00:07:38
like I had to cuz I cared a lot about
00:07:41
what people thought about me when I was
00:07:44
like um like I would say how old was I
00:07:48
maybe
00:07:51
like
00:07:53
like I would say 15 and under right
00:07:56
something like that 15 and under I
00:07:58
really cared a lot about it
00:07:59
he starts talking about when he stopped
00:08:01
caring about everything and then growing
00:08:04
up I realized that people would never
00:08:06
really it doesn't matter like what what
00:08:08
clothes I wear how I act anything like
00:08:10
that people are never going to like me
00:08:12
right uh it's not like uh you know I can
00:08:15
convince people that I'm not what I am
00:08:17
so I stopped giving a [ __ ] and so my
00:08:20
entire life I think has been in a lot of
00:08:23
cases
00:08:25
a process of caring about less things as
00:08:29
possible
00:08:30
right where it's like I you know growing
00:08:31
up i' I've had to stop caring about the
00:08:34
way that people felt about me and how
00:08:36
people perceived me uh then you know
00:08:38
having to deal with like my mom and then
00:08:40
like my dad getting like super [ __ ]
00:08:42
sick I had to like try to disconnect and
00:08:44
like you know come to terms of the fact
00:08:46
that like I'm going to lose and and you
00:08:48
know have everybody around me die right
00:08:50
and that already happened with my mom
00:08:52
and so it that was really awful and it
00:08:53
was hard for me to come to terms with
00:08:55
that and I still haven't really entirely
00:08:57
and like now I'm getting older right and
00:09:00
I'm you know I see my friends of mine as
00:09:02
like you know getting gray hair and um
00:09:06
you know I I sometimes I get afraid of
00:09:07
like kind of getting older and dying but
00:09:10
I I try not to think about it as much
00:09:11
anymore or care anymore because uh it
00:09:16
doesn't like there's nothing like you
00:09:18
can do about it it doesn't make a
00:09:20
difference like balding yeah balding
00:09:21
absolutely my friend my friend came
00:09:23
yesterday completely [ __ ] bald yeah
00:09:25
exactly and so I I had that happen
00:09:30
and so I had to like now I'm I'm kind of
00:09:33
much more in the process of trying to
00:09:35
just you know uh separate myself from
00:09:39
like the way I look or anything like
00:09:40
that like my self-image like I try not
00:09:42
to and this is like something that
00:09:43
happened like when I lost my teeth right
00:09:46
because like losing your teeth and like
00:09:47
having all your teeth falling out and
00:09:48
like rotting whenever you're like you
00:09:50
know ages like 20 to like 25 right
00:09:53
that's like insanely bad like people
00:09:55
look at you and they're just like it's
00:09:57
disgusting and it was because is
00:09:59
disgusting he starts to get into a
00:10:01
little bit more about his feelings and
00:10:04
the feelings of disassociation so it's
00:10:08
like you you have to develop a certain
00:10:09
degree of like
00:10:11
uh you know like you you you can look in
00:10:13
the mirror and you can see yourself but
00:10:15
like you think about it as like an uh
00:10:18
it's like an intellectual perspective
00:10:19
where it's like you don't really see
00:10:21
yourself as like you don't have an
00:10:23
emotional attachment to the way that you
00:10:24
look or you know like what you are and I
00:10:27
I felt like I had to develop that a lot
00:10:29
in in my life and then now I'm even
00:10:32
having to do that with myself as an
00:10:34
individual uh because obviously I'm
00:10:37
getting older I've had like issues with
00:10:38
my back Etc and I've been very lucky
00:10:41
right that nothing else like that has
00:10:42
happened but
00:10:44
um you know like learning to let go of
00:10:46
yourself is a pretty hard thing to do uh
00:10:49
but yeah no and and it there's a lot
00:10:50
more to it right and uh like experiences
00:10:53
I've
00:10:54
had you know growing up especially and
00:10:58
so I try not to I try not to think about
00:11:01
it or care at all because I think in the
00:11:04
end it doesn't really matter right I
00:11:05
mean it I I don't like I'm not a big
00:11:08
believer in like an afterlife or
00:11:09
anything like that I think that's all
00:11:10
just [ __ ] that people tell
00:11:12
themselves so they can feel better about
00:11:14
you know the fact that uh you know
00:11:15
people are are just [ __ ] nothing
00:11:17
right it's just meat and so uh yeah that
00:11:21
that's that's the way I've seen it here
00:11:22
is one of the funniest clips of the
00:11:25
video guys he's talking about some
00:11:27
messed up stuff in the the dark reality
00:11:30
he's seen while he's just cracking up a
00:11:34
Pepsi it's hilarious and I have a a very
00:11:36
dark outlook on life and pretty much
00:11:39
everything and I I think that the more
00:11:40
that I explain my perspective of things
00:11:44
uh the the darker it gets and so I think
00:11:47
a lot of those things contributed to
00:11:49
like the way that I live
00:11:56
and and so yeah I think that's a lot of
00:11:58
the reason reasons why I did it it's not
00:12:01
a crude matter it doesn't matter I mean
00:12:02
it's whatever right but that's the way
00:12:04
it happens you're dark you're kind of
00:12:06
real no I I I try to be realistic about
00:12:08
it as much as possible and do you
00:12:10
believe in God no it's fake um I it's
00:12:12
possible right it's definitely possible
00:12:14
I just don't think it's happening like I
00:12:16
don't I I don't think there's any proof
00:12:17
for it growing up I always assumed that
00:12:19
I would die alone because of how weird I
00:12:22
am I'm going to end it off with the
00:12:24
craziest and creepiest clip of this
00:12:27
video If you enjoyed the video just make
00:12:29
sure to like And subscribe guys I guess
00:12:31
like this is a really weird way to say
00:12:33
it is that you know people feel like
00:12:36
they feel something whenever they touch
00:12:37
another person and I remember like
00:12:40
whenever I first had like a girlfriend
00:12:42
and stuff I always hoped that I would
00:12:44
feel that way but it just felt the same
00:12:46
to me as touching like a a chair like I
00:12:48
never really felt anything like being
00:12:51
around or anyone and I realized that
00:12:55
like you know again I'm like an animal
00:12:58
or something like I don't even know and
00:13:01
so yeah I figure [ __ ] it I might as well
00:13:03
live like an animal too so this [ __ ]
00:13:06
hilarious I know it's really not funny
00:13:08
but his smile just makes me laugh I
00:13:10
don't know I know I I don't even I yeah
00:13:13
that that's the way it
00:13:14
is and uh when based women are
00:13:18
[Music]
00:13:19
chairs hey you know like there it is try
00:13:22
touching a dude H it's a good one I like
00:13:25
that and Dev internal a lot of people
00:13:27
enjoy your content no that's f fine I
00:13:29
know that people like me right yeah of
00:13:31
course your extreme case yeah uh no that
00:13:34
that's the way I see it too and um yeah
00:13:38
it was a very very weird realization I
00:13:40
remember I was like in sixth grade
00:13:42
whenever I I started to like really
00:13:43
realize that about myself
00:13:45
and like again I think that it's a
00:13:50
um it's like if you think of an onion
00:13:53
there are just like more and more layers
00:13:55
of it and the more layers the worse it
00:13:58
gets
00:14:00
so that's basically it there's a reason
00:14:04
why I'm in my house that has mold and
00:14:07
garbage and animals everywhere living in
00:14:11
mold trash Blood on the wall and this is
00:14:15
just the way I by myself with the doors
00:14:17
locked yep obviously asmin gold has gone
00:14:20
through some crazy stuff in his life
00:14:22
that we probably don't know about and it
00:14:25
kind of reminds me of that 8 Mile scene
00:14:27
where he's like you don't what the [ __ ]
00:14:30
I've been through
