2e Emotional Regulation with Emily Kircher-Morris

The speaker begins by reflecting on personal traits associated with Asperger's and autism, noting a lack of formal assessment for these in the past. They introduce the session's agenda, which includes a drawing for a book on twice exceptional children. The discussion transitions to the challenges faced by gifted and twice-exceptional individuals, particularly emotional dysregulation, emphasizing the confluence of high cognitive abilities and disabilities such as ADHD and autism, and the heightened emotional awareness often present in gifted individuals.

The speaker discusses the impact of advanced cognitive abilities but limited life experience on emotional regulation in gifted children. They highlight the tendency towards idealism and perfectionism, seeing potential solutions but lacking the power to affect change, which can lead to emotional overload. The discussion includes the difficulties neurodivergent children face in educational settings and the importance of finding suitable academic environments to prevent emotional dysregulation. Strategies for helping children understand and manage their emotional experiences are introduced.

Beginning with vignettes, the speaker illustrates emotional dysregulation in twice-exceptional children. Leah struggles with meeting high standards and feelings of helplessness, while Payton shows frustration in social settings, and Hannah struggles with changes and anxiety. A method called 'I Can' for emotional regulation is introduced—a four-step process that involves: Investigating triggers, Communicating emotions, Activating problem-solving skills, and Navigating back to a regulated state, tailored for different age groups.

The 'I Can' method is detailed, beginning with 'Investigate,' which includes recognizing patterns and triggers of dysregulation. Methods to track these triggers are suggested, like non-judgmentally noticing patterns and keeping a record. It stresses understanding underlying causes beyond surface reactions, such as transitions and unexpected changes. The approach involves collaborative investigation and encourages maintaining an open and curious perspective to help children recognize and understand emotions and their physical manifestations.

The focus shifts to 'Communicate,' emphasizing the need for building emotional literacy to articulate feelings accurately. Tools like an emotion wheel help in identifying nuanced emotions. The discussion touches upon challenges such as alexithymia, the importance of choosing the right words to describe emotions, and teaching self-advocacy to seek help. The section underscores modeling emotional literacy by adults and creating an environment where it's safe for children to express all types of emotions without fear of judgment.

The third step, 'Activate,' involves employing cognitive flexibility and evaluating problems to find the best strategies. Techniques such as the 'quick pause signal' and 'emotional price tagging' aid in assessing the appropriateness of emotional responses relative to situations. Emotional price tagging helps children understand the 'cost' of their emotional reactions, facilitating better control. Additionally, using realistic reframes fosters acceptance of emotions and rational problem-solving, highlighting the significance of perspective taking and reducing impulsive responses.

The final step, 'Navigate,' involves methods to return to a regulated state through strategies that include mindfulness and understanding physical responses to stress. Techniques such as controlled breathing, allowing breaks, recognizing sensory needs, and managing stimuli help maintain composure and emotional balance. This step focuses on realistic, gradual progress rather than perfection, equipping children with tools to independently manage emotional dysregulation, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's own sensory needs for effective emotional regulation.

The speaker revisits the case studies of Leah, Payton, and Hannah, applying the 'I Can' method to their situations. Leah learns to identify and manage feelings of helplessness and control through proactive environmental changes. Payton uses structured communication and classroom strategies to manage social frustrations. Hannah learns planned interventions for anticipating changes, establishing teacher Check-ins, and utilizing personal space for managing stress. These examples illustrate personalized applications of the emotional regulation framework.

Emphasizing progress over perfection, the speaker wraps up the methodology by reflecting on its application to nuanced emotional challenges faced by gifted and twice-exceptional children. They encourage patience and consistent use of the framework while acknowledging the ongoing process of emotional growth and skill building. The practical strategies aim to empower these children with tools for better emotional management, acknowledging that emotions and regulation skills develop over time.

In the closing Q&A, the conversation touches on societal stigma around negative emotions, where the speaker advocates for viewing emotions as signals rather than labeling them as good or bad. Emphasis is placed on creating nonjudgmental environments where all emotions are valid. Strategies for parents to regulate their own emotions, the complexity of executive dysfunction, and specific approaches for demand avoidance are discussed, highlighting the importance of tailored approaches for different neurodivergent needs and challenges.

The Q&A continues, covering strategies for handling specific behaviors such as hitting and disruptive stemming. Suggestions include understanding underlying sensory needs and setting boundaries for aggression. The speaker underscores the corelation between emotional and executive functioning challenges, emphasizing that addressing one can help with the other. The session also discusses personalized approaches for children resistant to traditional forms of help, suggesting adaptations that respect their autonomy while encouraging engagement.

Further discussion in the Q&A addresses differentiating between attention-seeking behavior and genuine emotional needs, recommending a compassionate approach to fulfill underlying requirements regardless. The speaker discusses recognizing signs indicating professional help might be necessary and advises on balancing sensory needs against classroom practicality. Emphasis is placed on adapting strategies for home-schooled children and the necessity of professional support when daily life is disrupted by emotional challenges.

Discussion further highlights the challenges of helping children generalize emotional regulation strategies across situations. Recommendations include proactive conversations linking strategies to various scenarios. The speaker advocates providing frameworks and positive reinforcements to facilitate learning. For homeschooling, the emphasis is on integrating emotional literacy into daily routines, making strategies explicit when it benefits the child most, and adapting learning to the home environment.

In addressing demand avoidance and disruptive behaviors, the recommendation is to promote autonomy and use creative solutions to avoid triggering defensive responses. Adapting engagement strategies to the child's preferences can make interventions less confrontational. The complexity of managing multifaceted emotions is acknowledged, with a call for supportive, understanding approaches that encourage communication and validation of emotions in diverse circumstances.