Becky G ON Coming To Terms With Her Identity and Radical Authenticity
Summary
TLDRIn this episode, Becky G reflects on her personal journey of understanding and integrating her dual heritage as a Mexican-American, a journey that deeply influences her music and advocacy. She opens up about the challenges of preserving her authentic self amidst societal pressures to fit into predetermined roles. Becky shares insights into her navigation of self-discovery through therapy, recounting an ongoing battle with people-pleasing and emphasizing the value of creating personal boundaries. Her journey includes tackling the fear of transitioning to performing in Spanish while maintaining her essence, drawing inspiration from cultural icons like Selena. Becky stresses the significance of spirituality in her life, incorporating practices like meditation to ground herself. She talks about the influence of her grandfather, the strength she finds in familial roots, and the importance of a balanced approach to connections, underscoring the need for authenticity in the modern world. The conversation also touches on handling public scrutiny, growing up in the limelight, and the continuing quest for personal and professional authenticity.
Takeaways
- 🎤 Becky G embraces her dual Mexican-American identity as '200%' rather than '50/50'.
- 🧘♀️ She uses meditation and prayer to connect spiritually and achieve mindfulness.
- 🗣️ Therapy is crucial for her self-awareness and tackling deep-rooted issues.
- ❤️ She emphasizes the importance of authentic, quality connections over superficial ones.
- 🎶 Her transition to Spanish music was a significant moment of overcoming fear and staying true to her cultural roots.
- 👴 Her grandfather's legacy inspires her perseverance and value for family connections.
- 🔨 Becky sees herself as adding 'one brick' to the bridge of cultural understanding and representation.
- 📱 Practices social media detoxes to maintain mental health and focus.
- 💡 Believes in learning and evolving beyond traditional black-and-white thinking.
- 👥 Values community and hopes future generations embrace authenticity over social pressures.
Timeline
- 00:00:00 - 00:05:00
In the opening of the video, Becky G expresses pride in her resilience during tough times, while Jay Shetty introduces her as a singer, actress, and activist. The discussion touches on how starting a career early can lead to suddenly realizing how much time has passed.
- 00:05:00 - 00:10:00
The host invites the audience to subscribe and join a community for self-improvement. There’s an emphasis on the human desire for connection, which ties into Becky G's life and creative work, particularly her new album rooted in her cultural identity.
- 00:10:00 - 00:15:00
Becky G talks about embracing her full cultural identity without having to feel 'half' of anything. The conversation explores the challenge of balancing identities across cultures, as seen in her new album, 'Esquinas,' which embodies her dual identity of two cultures.
- 00:15:00 - 00:20:00
Jay Shetty draws a parallel between Becky's story and his own experiences with identity. Both reflect on the importance of embracing their multifaceted identities rather than conforming to societal expectations of fixed identities.
- 00:20:00 - 00:25:00
Becky G and Jay discuss the beauty in the intersectionality of identities, despite societal systems often labeling them as wrong. They advocate for a broader perspective that embraces life's complexity beyond black-and-white thinking.
- 00:25:00 - 00:30:00
They explore the journey of accepting and belonging in multiple cultural spaces. Becky G shares a metaphor about settling in uncomfortable positions for self-exploration, akin to waiting for comfort like getting to sleep in one’s own bed.
- 00:30:00 - 00:35:00
Becky reflects on the decision to transition to singing in Spanish, facing cultural fears yet seeking authenticity. She highlights challenges, including industry sexism, and the importance of pursuing what truly makes her happy despite obstacles.
- 00:35:00 - 00:40:00
Facing fears of acceptance in singing Spanish music, Becky found inspiration in Selena Quintanilla's legacy. She emphasizes the importance of pioneering in spaces where representation is needed, despite industry resistance, particularly machismo.
- 00:40:00 - 00:45:00
The conversation pivots to the broader theme of standing out in a world that enforces conformity. Becky sees her efforts as laying foundations, advocating for spaces that nurture individual uniqueness, informed by supportive family values.
- 00:45:00 - 00:50:00
Becky shares how her grandfather’s legacy and family sacrifices inspire her to embrace her origin’s richness. While acknowledging the emotional weight of ancestral expectations, she finds honor and motivation in continuing their legacy.
- 00:50:00 - 00:55:00
The dialogue acknowledges the dual truths of strength and vulnerability in carrying familial legacies. Becky G emphasizes living a purpose-driven life, where gratitude and human connection are prioritized over social media perceptions.
- 00:55:00 - 01:00:00
Becky discusses the nuances of growing up in the public eye, from teenage struggles to understanding the reality of criticism. She learns to appreciate quality relationships over quantity, realizing not everyone needs to like her.
- 01:00:00 - 01:05:00
There’s a discussion on the societal pressure to be universally liked, yet realizing authenticity matters more than superficial approval. Becky acknowledges her personal growth in creating healthier boundaries and valuing real-world connections.
- 01:05:00 - 01:10:00
They delve into the importance of mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Becky emphasizes taking social media breaks, meditating, and the significance of grounding routines to maintain mental health.
- 01:10:00 - 01:15:00
Jay Shetty and Becky explore how embracing incremental personal development in mind, body, and spirit creates stability. Becky stresses the importance of pacing improvements, suggesting people often benefit from focusing on one area at a time.
- 01:15:00 - 01:20:00
Becky defines quality connections as those where she feels safe and authentic. She narrates experiences where ignoring gut feelings led to personal missteps, underlining the importance of self-awareness and listening to one’s instincts.
- 01:20:00 - 01:26:39
Finally, Jay and Becky discuss balancing people-pleasing with being authentic. Therapy helps Becky understand her tendencies and childhood influences, urging her to value self-authenticity even when it conflicts with pleasing others.
Mind Map
Video Q&A
What is Becky G's perspective on her cultural identity?
She describes feeling like she had to give up parts of herself to be accepted in different spaces and has since embraced being '200%' as both Mexican and American.
How has therapy played a role in Becky G's life?
Becky G sees therapy as crucial for self-reflection and managing industry pressures, focusing on understanding deeper issues beyond immediate problems.
What challenge has Becky G faced regarding people-pleasing?
She struggles with the pressure to please everyone and is learning to set boundaries and value herself more authentically.
What are some of Becky G's self-care practices?
Becky G emphasized the importance of mind, body, and soul alignment, including practices like meditation, therapy, and social media detoxing for mental clarity.
When does Becky G feel most connected to her spiritual guides?
She talks about feeling a strong connection during meditation, prayer, or listening to songs that remind her of loved ones.
How did Becky G's grandfather influence her life?
Her grandfather inspired her through his life and sacrifices, teaching her the value of family and perseverance.
What is the main theme of Becky G's new album 'Esquinas'?
In the podcast, Becky G discusses her album's inspiration and her path towards embracing her full cultural identity without compromise.
When did Becky G face her biggest career fear?
When she transitioned from English to Spanish music, worrying about acceptance but wanting to remain true to her cultural roots.
What is the significance of the 'Good Thing/Bad Thing' story for Becky G?
The story illustrates how what seems bad might be good and vice versa, influencing Becky's outlook on life's challenges and learning from them.
How does Becky G define quality connections?
Becky G highlights the importance of quality over quantity in connections, valuing genuine, authentic relationships where she feels safe to be herself.
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- 00:00:00I'm very proud of myself for having made
- 00:00:02it through those moments I didn't know
- 00:00:04that that was like my body physically
- 00:00:06telling me something's wrong she's a
- 00:00:08singer actress activists please welcome
- 00:00:12Becky G
- 00:00:15[Music]
- 00:00:16when you start in a career as young as I
- 00:00:19did it's very much so like put your head
- 00:00:21down get it done get it done get it done
- 00:00:23get it done and then you like blink and
- 00:00:25then you're like oh snap I'm 26.
- 00:00:26[Music]
- 00:00:29before we jump into this episode I'd
- 00:00:32like to invite you to join this
- 00:00:33community to hear more interviews that
- 00:00:36will help you become happier healthier
- 00:00:38and more healed all I want you to do is
- 00:00:40click on the Subscribe button I love
- 00:00:42your support it's incredible to see all
- 00:00:44your comments and we're just getting
- 00:00:46started I can't wait to go on this
- 00:00:48journey with you thank you so much for
- 00:00:50subscribing it means the world to me the
- 00:00:52best-selling author and host the number
- 00:00:54one Health and Wellness podcast on
- 00:00:56purpose with Jay Shetty
- 00:00:58everything we all do is wanting to feel
- 00:01:01connected right whether we're crying or
- 00:01:03whether we're laughing or whether we're
- 00:01:05reaching out for help or we're reaching
- 00:01:06out to help like all of it almost seems
- 00:01:09to be a cry for connection we're all
- 00:01:11wanting to feel that and you've talked a
- 00:01:13lot about this concept of the 200 which
- 00:01:16is what this new album's based on your
- 00:01:18roots and I love that idea can you
- 00:01:20explain it because
- 00:01:22it's the first time I'd heard about it
- 00:01:24in that way and I really really
- 00:01:25appreciate it yeah of course
- 00:01:32it's interesting to me how
- 00:01:34I was always like the 50 50. you know
- 00:01:35you're half this half that and I didn't
- 00:01:38like that there was something about that
- 00:01:40that never sat well with me and I think
- 00:01:42it's because it made me feel like in
- 00:01:44order to be accepted here I have to give
- 00:01:46up a part of myself and in order to be
- 00:01:48accepted there I have to give up a part
- 00:01:51of myself and in reality it's like I am
- 00:01:54who I am I shouldn't have to give up any
- 00:01:57of who it is that is my true authentic
- 00:01:59being to be accepted somewhere to fit
- 00:02:02into this this space this shape right
- 00:02:05that doesn't feel organic to me that
- 00:02:06doesn't feel natural to me and it was in
- 00:02:09little like micro like experiences like
- 00:02:12even hanging around my cousins who were
- 00:02:14from Mexico and I'm telling me I was
- 00:02:15American and I'm like well I guess
- 00:02:18technically yeah but like I I don't know
- 00:02:20when I'm in America they tell me that
- 00:02:21I'm Mexican so which one am I and
- 00:02:24there's this uh this saying in Spanish
- 00:02:27you know yeah you're not from here
- 00:02:30you're not from there and then I would
- 00:02:33respond to that and
- 00:02:34like well in that case where do I stay
- 00:02:37like where do I belong you know and so
- 00:02:39it's kind of like rewriting that to say
- 00:02:41like No SI soy like I am I am from here
- 00:02:45and from there she's right
- 00:02:46you know and it's kind of what inspired
- 00:02:50um the the album esquina's because I am
- 00:02:53not this side or that side of the
- 00:02:54streets that raised me I am the corner
- 00:02:55of two flags two cultures two languages
- 00:02:59and I know I'm not the only one you know
- 00:03:03not just within the Latin Community even
- 00:03:04but I'd say and I have so many friends
- 00:03:06who I mean I don't know about do you
- 00:03:08feel like you have a 200 experience
- 00:03:10sometimes yeah well I love that that's
- 00:03:12why I love the way you put it and even
- 00:03:13just now the way you explain that is so
- 00:03:16beautiful and elegant like it really
- 00:03:18resonates with me I love that idea about
- 00:03:20not having to be half of this and half
- 00:03:22of that I actually experience it even
- 00:03:25more in the roles I've played in the
- 00:03:26world and so I often say to people that
- 00:03:29I'm as much
- 00:03:31the monk mindset as I am the manager in
- 00:03:34my work as I am the media person as I am
- 00:03:38now a married person like all of that is
- 00:03:40me I'm not one or the other because I
- 00:03:42often get that where it's like well Jay
- 00:03:44you used to be a monk and now you have
- 00:03:46companies and you're married and you're
- 00:03:47this and that and I'm like yeah but the
- 00:03:49two things can co-exist for me as an
- 00:03:52identity because there's so much from
- 00:03:55that that I love and relate to and then
- 00:03:57there's so much from this that I I love
- 00:03:59and relate to and again with being born
- 00:04:02in London but my parents are from
- 00:04:05originally from India but then my
- 00:04:06mother's from Yemen and so there's so
- 00:04:09many cross-sections in my background and
- 00:04:12then I'm someone who's born and raised
- 00:04:13in London but now lives in L.A and so
- 00:04:16there's that intersection and I love the
- 00:04:18idea of how we can all be so much more
- 00:04:21than what our passport says or than what
- 00:04:24our job title says or then what our bank
- 00:04:27balance says or whatever it may be like
- 00:04:29we're all so much more so I think by you
- 00:04:31saying that and I love the idea of the
- 00:04:33street corner yeah that's that's really
- 00:04:35cool because that's and all the cool
- 00:04:37stuff happens on the corner not on
- 00:04:39either side of the street anyway I mean
- 00:04:41totally and if you're from La you know
- 00:04:43that's where all the best fruit stands
- 00:04:44are and the best tacos things so
- 00:04:48um but I I yeah it's the
- 00:04:50intersectionality that's what it is
- 00:04:52exactly what it is it's like where all
- 00:04:54of these things meet all the spaces in
- 00:04:57between you know and and I think that's
- 00:04:59there's so much Beauty in it but I think
- 00:05:01unfortunately there's you know systems
- 00:05:04that that make us think that they're
- 00:05:06wrong but in reality it's just an old
- 00:05:08programming that doesn't necessarily
- 00:05:11work anymore and that's okay too you
- 00:05:13know and I love
- 00:05:15what you said about letting you know all
- 00:05:17the truths exist because that's
- 00:05:19something that I think growing up I felt
- 00:05:21Society tells you how to think very
- 00:05:23black and white and I'm like life is in
- 00:05:25color for a reason you know like we
- 00:05:28should be seeing Life in Color there's
- 00:05:29so much going on around us and I like to
- 00:05:32think that you know this vessel I'm very
- 00:05:34thankful for I'm very thankful for the
- 00:05:36vessel that allows me to experience this
- 00:05:39life but my spirit is so much bigger my
- 00:05:42soul needs to expand you know in the
- 00:05:45same way we can experience such beauty
- 00:05:48we can experience pain and there's all
- 00:05:50these like opposites of everything and
- 00:05:52then it's the spaces in between that
- 00:05:53kind of just tie it all together you
- 00:05:56know I love that there's purpose in that
- 00:05:57how did you go about that journey of
- 00:06:00giving yourself permission to belong in
- 00:06:02both
- 00:06:03just it
- 00:06:05just if we
- 00:06:06stay in that like uncomfortable position
- 00:06:09for so long you know you're sleeping on
- 00:06:11a plane yes and you're so tired like you
- 00:06:13will fall asleep anyway but then there's
- 00:06:15like that half hour that goes by when
- 00:06:17you wake up and you're like my leg is
- 00:06:19dead and I can't feel my neck and it
- 00:06:21hurts and this is not like this isn't
- 00:06:23good quality sleep like I can't wait
- 00:06:25until I get into my bed yeah and I felt
- 00:06:27like I would feel that way sometimes
- 00:06:29like I I could stay here for just a
- 00:06:31little bit you know but it didn't feel
- 00:06:33very long lasting and I think that there
- 00:06:35just comes a time where if you allow
- 00:06:38yourself to and like you said give
- 00:06:40yourself permission to even just explore
- 00:06:43what could be on the other side to
- 00:06:45explore that maybe I don't want to sleep
- 00:06:46on the plane maybe I do want to sleep in
- 00:06:48my bed and I can't right now and that's
- 00:06:49okay but I can't wait for the day yeah
- 00:06:52you know or the time that comes
- 00:06:54um and look forward to it and so I would
- 00:06:56always look forward to like the day that
- 00:06:58like I wouldn't be compared to like
- 00:07:00another artist that like literally
- 00:07:02looked nothing like me spoke nothing
- 00:07:04like me and I'd be like I don't want to
- 00:07:06be them I want to be Becky you know like
- 00:07:08and I was so young already feeling that
- 00:07:10way growing up in this industry and um
- 00:07:13and it was those boxes man it was those
- 00:07:15boxes that just like I I knew I could
- 00:07:17check them I knew I could check those
- 00:07:19boxes and and make other people happy
- 00:07:21but there came a point I think when I
- 00:07:24decided honestly to pursue singing
- 00:07:27Spanish music was that turning point for
- 00:07:28me and it was it was because I was going
- 00:07:30to be facing my biggest fear which was
- 00:07:33okay well I I am American and I've
- 00:07:37started a professional career singing
- 00:07:39music in English but I've always wrapped
- 00:07:41my latinidad but now me singing in
- 00:07:45Spanish I don't know if I'll be accepted
- 00:07:47there and that was like really scary
- 00:07:49because the only real point of reference
- 00:07:52I had was the queen Selena Quintanilla
- 00:07:54who you know unfortunately is no longer
- 00:07:57with us and so I just remember being
- 00:08:00like there's a scene in the movie where
- 00:08:02her dad says
- 00:08:03you have to be more Mexican than the
- 00:08:05Mexicans the more American than
- 00:08:07Americans it's exhausting and he says it
- 00:08:11like that too it's exhausting and I'm
- 00:08:13like yeah your girl's tired man I'm
- 00:08:15tired like I just want to be I just want
- 00:08:18to be who I am and the truth is is like
- 00:08:20I think when you lean into the
- 00:08:22authenticity of just knowing like I
- 00:08:24gotta make myself happy and this this
- 00:08:27really does make me happy
- 00:08:29there's got to be something on the other
- 00:08:31side of that and little did I know I was
- 00:08:33gonna be confronted with so many other
- 00:08:36you know obstacles in Latin culture that
- 00:08:40totally didn't want me to succeed you
- 00:08:43know the machismo that exists the amount
- 00:08:45of times you know the labels will say
- 00:08:47you know girls don't sell tickets they
- 00:08:49don't get played on the radio all kinds
- 00:08:51of stuff and and I like to think you
- 00:08:53know we're here we're doing it so there
- 00:08:56must we do something right you know
- 00:08:58doing a lot right a lot right tell me
- 00:09:01about that
- 00:09:02that fear that you had in terms of like
- 00:09:04I've started my career singing in
- 00:09:06English now I'm moving over will I be
- 00:09:08accepted yeah and that fear is really
- 00:09:12displacing too again when you're like
- 00:09:14I'm from here and I'm from there as well
- 00:09:15what was it inside of you that pushed
- 00:09:18you to say I'm gonna do this anyway like
- 00:09:20what was it that gave you the courage
- 00:09:22and strength because I can imagine
- 00:09:24there's so many people who are listening
- 00:09:25and watching right now
- 00:09:27who are thinking I don't want to do that
- 00:09:29because I don't want to be seen that way
- 00:09:30or I don't want to do that because
- 00:09:32someone's going to put me in a box or
- 00:09:33someone's going to push me back like we
- 00:09:35all have these doubts in our own ways
- 00:09:37what was it that helped you overcome
- 00:09:39that doubt I think remembering what
- 00:09:41someone like Selena did for me and
- 00:09:44understanding that like like somebody's
- 00:09:46got to do it like and and not like so I
- 00:09:50now I have to it really came from a
- 00:09:53place of truly Desiring and wanting to
- 00:09:55to do that for myself because I know I
- 00:09:59deserved that space in the same way I
- 00:10:01believe I deserved that space I believe
- 00:10:03there's so many other talented young
- 00:10:05women that deserve that space and so you
- 00:10:09know Brick by Brick and if I only bring
- 00:10:11one brick to this to this bridge that's
- 00:10:13fine so be it but we we need it there
- 00:10:16isn't there's a need for this and and I
- 00:10:19want to be a part of that and I think
- 00:10:21that was really inspiring for me to be
- 00:10:22able to like take agency in that way and
- 00:10:25know that there was a lot of like Nays
- 00:10:27stairs that were like not believing but
- 00:10:29then also knowing like the same way I
- 00:10:31was in that nurturing household where I
- 00:10:33was allowed to be different like we're
- 00:10:35going to keep building spaces like that
- 00:10:36like we need that in the systems that
- 00:10:39are you know continuing because they're
- 00:10:41not sustainable some Somebody's gotta
- 00:10:44shake it up and so uh and I remember
- 00:10:47being a part of like specifically the
- 00:10:49Latin industry at that time and I think
- 00:10:51it was my intersectionality that that
- 00:10:53made it kind of less intimidating for me
- 00:10:56because I was like I know what it's like
- 00:10:59to not be accepted here like because it
- 00:11:01happened on the other side so there's
- 00:11:03nothing you can tell me here that I
- 00:11:04haven't already heard yeah you know it's
- 00:11:07fascinating isn't it that when you're
- 00:11:08young you're forced to fit in and then
- 00:11:11as you get older it's all about how do
- 00:11:13you stand out yep and it doesn't make
- 00:11:16any sense because it's so
- 00:11:17counterintuitive your whole life you've
- 00:11:18been told stand in line do as they do do
- 00:11:22as I say and everyone's told to conform
- 00:11:24and as you get older it's like well how
- 00:11:27do you brand yourself how do you Market
- 00:11:28yourself what's unique about you but
- 00:11:30you've been told to hide all of your all
- 00:11:32of it uniqueness all right you've been
- 00:11:35told to hide a little bit so it's almost
- 00:11:36like we're trying to figure out what
- 00:11:38that uniqueness is I love your idea
- 00:11:41about or the vision that you just
- 00:11:43painted for all of us of like how we're
- 00:11:45all just laying another brick on the
- 00:11:47bridge yeah that's that's such a
- 00:11:49beautiful way to think about it and I
- 00:11:51wonder how instrumental your grandfather
- 00:11:53was in in this whole journey for you I
- 00:11:55know that this album is inspired
- 00:11:58dedicated to and you sadly lost him a
- 00:12:01few years ago but tell us a bit about
- 00:12:03why family's been so important to you
- 00:12:06but particularly him and I can see you
- 00:12:07taking it in for those who are not
- 00:12:09watching you can yeah big deep breaths
- 00:12:12from Becky yeah no I think it's because
- 00:12:16I mean to understand that we come from
- 00:12:19something so much bigger than us is so
- 00:12:21powerful sometimes overwhelming I think
- 00:12:23for a lot of us mixed ethnicity kids
- 00:12:25because you know we're we're not just
- 00:12:27walking into a room with our dreams
- 00:12:29we're walking into a room with our
- 00:12:31dreams and then the dreams of the
- 00:12:33generations before not just into a room
- 00:12:35with our own sacrifices but the
- 00:12:36sacrifices of those before all of the
- 00:12:39stuff that you know can feel very heavy
- 00:12:41sometimes but then those two truths can
- 00:12:44exist at the same time that I really
- 00:12:46hear so strongly in in the back of my
- 00:12:49subconscious which is that
- 00:12:51it can be really heavy but such an honor
- 00:12:55and there's a power in that to come from
- 00:12:58people who have had to make something
- 00:13:01out of nothing and if they did you can
- 00:13:03too
- 00:13:03my grandfather Miguel Gomez
- 00:13:06he is one of the greatest men I think
- 00:13:10I've ever gotten to know in this life
- 00:13:11and I feel this way about all my
- 00:13:13grandparents like to have had all four
- 00:13:15of my grandparents so present in my life
- 00:13:18and to be a part of the the village that
- 00:13:21raised me you know it's such an honor to
- 00:13:24me and when he passed away and him being
- 00:13:26you know my first grandparent that I
- 00:13:28that I lose
- 00:13:29just that that thing that I hold on to
- 00:13:32is that although again his vessel May no
- 00:13:34longer be with me that guidance that
- 00:13:37that honor that it is to carry that that
- 00:13:39superpower with me is just it's so
- 00:13:42incredibly motivating and so
- 00:13:44inspirational and I think there's
- 00:13:46there's a lot there that when I look
- 00:13:49back at it you know he was really a big
- 00:13:51part as to why I started pursuing this
- 00:13:55because a lot of my grandparents I mean
- 00:13:57they didn't finish their educations they
- 00:13:59all started working very very young and
- 00:14:01that was the social Norm in Mexico you
- 00:14:03know in Mexico like that that was part
- 00:14:05of you know part of what it was you
- 00:14:07don't finish school you work to help
- 00:14:09your family
- 00:14:10obviously we live in America and there's
- 00:14:12such thing as child labor laws so it
- 00:14:14wasn't the same thing for me but the
- 00:14:16concept of being nine years old and
- 00:14:18working to provide for my family and
- 00:14:20going out in the streets and hustling
- 00:14:21like it didn't feel like a absolute no
- 00:14:24to me it felt like well if they did it I
- 00:14:25can do it too you know and to see
- 00:14:28everything that my grandparents have
- 00:14:29built I mean my grandmother talks about
- 00:14:31all the day she says
- 00:14:33like her little village she's so
- 00:14:35thankful to God for her little village
- 00:14:37that she created you know with my
- 00:14:39grandpa and it's just like yeah like
- 00:14:40y'all really did that and and we're all
- 00:14:43just this ever-growing tree of branches
- 00:14:46and of those roots you know and so um so
- 00:14:50yeah he's he's with me every day I feel
- 00:14:51it that's beautiful yeah you can kind of
- 00:14:54see that energy coming through you right
- 00:14:55now as well it looks like it's evident
- 00:14:58that he has a place in your heart that's
- 00:15:00really deep and special and it must it
- 00:15:03must be so powerful to be able to use
- 00:15:05that to give back and to connect with
- 00:15:08people definitely yeah and I think it's
- 00:15:10like like it's their humanness you know
- 00:15:13it's seeing their old age like even
- 00:15:16seeing like they once could and now they
- 00:15:19can't physically but we can you know so
- 00:15:22like how do we carry that on it's just
- 00:15:24it's so beautiful and so empowering and
- 00:15:27so
- 00:15:28um just knowing that even when we're no
- 00:15:29longer here like things stay like
- 00:15:32there's an energy there that stays
- 00:15:34there's something so meaningful and so
- 00:15:36purposeful to our every word and
- 00:15:40interaction shared it's just like you
- 00:15:43want to live a life that is
- 00:15:45of substance yes you know like I don't
- 00:15:48want to just lollygag and just you know
- 00:15:50I mean maybe every now and then don't
- 00:15:52get me wrong but um but no I mean it in
- 00:15:54the way of just like even in the
- 00:15:56simplest of things just like living in
- 00:15:57gratitude Becky you grew up in the
- 00:15:59public eye and
- 00:16:02you know you've grown up in the public
- 00:16:04eye too and it's the idea of growing up
- 00:16:06growing up yeah growing up yeah growing
- 00:16:08up
- 00:16:09in the public eye what would you say
- 00:16:11have been
- 00:16:12the pros of that like what really great
- 00:16:15lessons have you kind of Taken on and
- 00:16:18what have been some of the challenges
- 00:16:19that you're still trying to figure out
- 00:16:20that you still feel you struggle with
- 00:16:22sometimes yeah I think it's interesting
- 00:16:24I don't think I saw many of the cons to
- 00:16:27it as a kid because I was just like wow
- 00:16:29like this is so cool a space to just be
- 00:16:32and be yourself and they don't really
- 00:16:34realize how you're exposing yourself
- 00:16:36like beyond what then the average person
- 00:16:39like usually gets exposed to and it's
- 00:16:42not just like the support it's also the
- 00:16:44opposite of what support is right people
- 00:16:46having a a thought and a say or an
- 00:16:49intention that isn't always positive
- 00:16:51against everything that you do and it
- 00:16:55wasn't until you you were like a
- 00:16:57teenager and you're getting made fun of
- 00:16:58for the way you dress or what your teeth
- 00:17:00look like or having acne or whatever and
- 00:17:04you're like wow you're really wearing
- 00:17:06these things like you're really wearing
- 00:17:08it and then you know on top of that
- 00:17:09you're dealing with I mean for me I was
- 00:17:12dealing with you know the pressures to
- 00:17:13provide for my family so like I'm really
- 00:17:15showing up as my best self because
- 00:17:17there's too much writing on the line
- 00:17:19it's not just me it's everybody who's
- 00:17:22walking in the room with me so when you
- 00:17:25are kind of put in this place where you
- 00:17:28are you feel almost attacked sometimes
- 00:17:30or you know you feel let down you don't
- 00:17:34feel as supported as you thought you
- 00:17:35would you start to question like oh is
- 00:17:38this a safe space is this is this what
- 00:17:41it's supposed is this what I signed up
- 00:17:42for because that's what everybody's
- 00:17:43telling me this is what you signed up
- 00:17:44for this is what you signed up for
- 00:17:46and it's like as I've I've continued to
- 00:17:49grow up in this space I think the
- 00:17:51biggest like lesson for me is just like
- 00:17:53maybe I'm not supposed to be liked to
- 00:17:55fight everybody maybe that's not the
- 00:17:57goal you know maybe I'm not maybe I'm
- 00:18:00not supposed to be for everyone maybe I
- 00:18:02can be a little bit more sacred with my
- 00:18:03energy you know maybe I don't have to be
- 00:18:06on social media 24 7. you know like
- 00:18:09maybe I can remember that there's a real
- 00:18:11world out there with real people and
- 00:18:14quality connection matters not the
- 00:18:16quantity of connections I make and so I
- 00:18:19think that like for me going from
- 00:18:22literal baby Becky 14 years old getting
- 00:18:27discovered on the internet to the 26
- 00:18:30year old that is still figuring out how
- 00:18:32to practice those boundaries every
- 00:18:33single day yeah it's like the the
- 00:18:35biggest takeaway for me yeah and that
- 00:18:38realization that
- 00:18:40we're not for everyone is really
- 00:18:44difficult to swallow because I feel like
- 00:18:47our whole life
- 00:18:49we've been trained to kind of be
- 00:18:51people who make everyone around us happy
- 00:18:53we've been trained to be that way
- 00:18:55conditioned like we make people smile or
- 00:18:57you are The Peacemaker in your family or
- 00:18:59you were the change maker in your family
- 00:19:01or you were the person who kind of you
- 00:19:04know communicated individually and
- 00:19:06mediated with your family like we've all
- 00:19:08played roles and most of those roles
- 00:19:10revolve around us being liked or doing
- 00:19:13things to be liked and all of a sudden
- 00:19:15you grow up and especially if you have a
- 00:19:19large public platform and even if you
- 00:19:21don't have a large public platform just
- 00:19:23growing up you go to work and you're a
- 00:19:25family it's crazy because I was
- 00:19:27literally gonna gonna interject right
- 00:19:29there to say you do not have to be
- 00:19:31someone with a platform like ours to
- 00:19:33know what this pressure is like today
- 00:19:35agree and that actually makes me so
- 00:19:37fearful for the future Generations
- 00:19:39because we are constantly comparing
- 00:19:41ourselves to everyone's greatest hits
- 00:19:43and that is really really hard to leave
- 00:19:46any room any space for Grace
- 00:19:49for for growth you know because there's
- 00:19:52this fear this fear of messing up saying
- 00:19:55the wrong thing or whatever and it's
- 00:19:56just like that's actually part of
- 00:19:58learning we have to leave room to learn
- 00:20:01and I think it's also learning that we
- 00:20:02can be something different
- 00:20:04I was thinking about this the other day
- 00:20:06and I had a conversation with like a
- 00:20:09really close friend of mine about how
- 00:20:10it's it's wild to me that I've shared so
- 00:20:12much of my life on the internet since
- 00:20:14such a young age and because I shared
- 00:20:17that you know my favorite flavor of ice
- 00:20:19cream seven years ago was chocolate that
- 00:20:22someone can come across that today and
- 00:20:24be like oh she's a she's a chocolate ice
- 00:20:27cream loving girly and like little do
- 00:20:30they know like I don't really like ice
- 00:20:32cream anymore like I don't even have a
- 00:20:34favorite flavor I actually prefer frozen
- 00:20:35yogurt you know and and there's like
- 00:20:38seven years but because someone can come
- 00:20:40across that you know today it can be
- 00:20:43like no that's who she is and unless
- 00:20:44it's documented
- 00:20:46you can't tell me any different yeah you
- 00:20:48know but it's like I think it's it's
- 00:20:49leaving space that like I can change my
- 00:20:51mind I mean I could love ice cream
- 00:20:53tomorrow who knows you know and that's
- 00:20:55totally possible but on a deeper level
- 00:20:57it's interesting you were you were
- 00:20:58saying something there's a book that I
- 00:20:59read called the family on Bradshaw and
- 00:21:01it really blew my mind about the rigid
- 00:21:03roles that we play in like family
- 00:21:05systems and we find so much purpose in
- 00:21:08that but then we we get so attached to
- 00:21:12what that role is to forget that like we
- 00:21:15have to go out into the world and like
- 00:21:17learn more you know like it terrifies me
- 00:21:20sometimes when I think about that
- 00:21:21because I feel like I've lived so much
- 00:21:23life in my 26 years and I'm like wait
- 00:21:25there's more you're telling me there's
- 00:21:27more I should be inspired and excited at
- 00:21:30that idea and a part of me is but then
- 00:21:32there's another part of me that's
- 00:21:33absolutely terrified you know and I
- 00:21:36think it's it's again leaving room for
- 00:21:37those two truths to exist yeah and
- 00:21:39usually when it's terrifying I think
- 00:21:41it's because it's right for you yeah
- 00:21:43yeah you know what I mean like it's
- 00:21:44supposed to be scary like just at least
- 00:21:47just a little bit to like ignite that
- 00:21:49thing in you that really like catches
- 00:21:52your soul on fire and says I was made
- 00:21:54for this yeah you know and I'm so happy
- 00:21:57that I did it yeah you know yeah how
- 00:21:59hard was it for you you just talked
- 00:22:01about there where you're like maybe I
- 00:22:02want to be someone who experiences the
- 00:22:04real world maybe I do want to switch off
- 00:22:06from social media like as a public
- 00:22:08figure and even in our friend circles
- 00:22:10like I remember when I quit drinking
- 00:22:12alcohol
- 00:22:13and when I went back to my friend group
- 00:22:15that was used to me drinking alcohol and
- 00:22:18being a certain person at the party and
- 00:22:20now I don't it was a complete switch I
- 00:22:23wasn't I didn't have a public platform I
- 00:22:24wasn't known but even in my group or my
- 00:22:27community it was like wait a minute Jay
- 00:22:29have you changed right or when I stopped
- 00:22:31doing certain things and when I started
- 00:22:33doing certain things we all go through
- 00:22:35these like identity deaths of who we
- 00:22:38were and who we wanted to be to who we
- 00:22:40are today and when you're trying to make
- 00:22:42a transition like not being as active on
- 00:22:44social media or you're trying to make a
- 00:22:46transition of I don't go to those places
- 00:22:48anymore whatever it may be I feel we all
- 00:22:51go through this moment of identity
- 00:22:53shifts and it sounds like you've had to
- 00:22:55do that too what has helped you make
- 00:22:58those as smooth as they can be or what
- 00:23:01has happened when you've made those
- 00:23:03shifts and what have you dealt with I'm
- 00:23:05laughing because Jay it's so not smooth
- 00:23:06like it's not yeah it's so rough out
- 00:23:09here it's very new for me it is so new I
- 00:23:13have lived more of my life this way than
- 00:23:15I have practicing trying something new
- 00:23:20but it makes me very proud of myself to
- 00:23:23know that I can look at myself every day
- 00:23:26in the mirror and say I know it's going
- 00:23:28to be really hard and it's gonna be
- 00:23:30challenging and there's going to be
- 00:23:32things that trigger a response from you
- 00:23:34maybe that you are that is second nature
- 00:23:37we are gonna take time to process we're
- 00:23:40gonna add some filters in your process
- 00:23:42that are better for you because there's
- 00:23:45better ways to deal with things there's
- 00:23:48better ways than having to just like
- 00:23:50promote your pain you know I somebody
- 00:23:53the other day it was so funny somebody
- 00:23:54the other day uh mentioned to me like
- 00:23:57what's up with all these young kids
- 00:23:58posting videos of themselves crying on
- 00:24:00the internet and I said first of all
- 00:24:02that's really mean because little do you
- 00:24:04know maybe they're singing for
- 00:24:05connection and second of all I've
- 00:24:07totally done that
- 00:24:08damn it oh I'm guilty I'm so guilty of
- 00:24:12it but are there times where I wish I
- 00:24:13didn't absolutely because maybe not
- 00:24:16everybody needed to see that I wanted to
- 00:24:19be seen so badly but who am I seeking
- 00:24:21that from why am I seeking that from the
- 00:24:25world when maybe it's really Within
- 00:24:27Myself And so that that daily practice
- 00:24:30for me is still very new but it's it's
- 00:24:33doing things differently willing to
- 00:24:36what's that saying
- 00:24:38um you you won't you got to be willing
- 00:24:40to do something you've never done in
- 00:24:42order to get the result you've never had
- 00:24:44right and so if I want to be the
- 00:24:47healthiest version of myself I have to
- 00:24:49be willing to look at my daily routines
- 00:24:52mentally routine the mental routines
- 00:24:54that I have the spiritual routines that
- 00:24:57I have the physical routines that I have
- 00:24:59and and and really just be honest with
- 00:25:02myself and am i setting myself up for
- 00:25:04success you know and there's been hard
- 00:25:06times like people very close to me would
- 00:25:08be like be we had this conversation
- 00:25:10we've had this conversation and they
- 00:25:13very lovingly hold space for me to come
- 00:25:15back around and be like you're right
- 00:25:16yeah you're so right you know but it's
- 00:25:19like just understanding that we are
- 00:25:21constantly always in process yeah yeah
- 00:25:24we're let's walk through some of those
- 00:25:26actually because we love doing that one
- 00:25:28on purpose you mentioned mental
- 00:25:30spiritual and physical routines let's
- 00:25:32talk about some of the let's start with
- 00:25:35the mental routines what are some daily
- 00:25:36routines or habits or practices that
- 00:25:39you've been working on okay so shout out
- 00:25:40to my therapist because she taught me
- 00:25:42the three little therapists I love
- 00:25:44therapists me too they're dope
- 00:25:47um they keep it real that's for sure but
- 00:25:49uh the three-legged table is the Mind
- 00:25:51Body Soul and if it's a table that needs
- 00:25:54to work right it needs to hold things on
- 00:25:56top of it
- 00:25:57um if one of the tables is a little
- 00:25:59wobbly or one of the tables the legs
- 00:26:01break it can't it can't fulfill its
- 00:26:04purpose right what it what it's intended
- 00:26:06for and so I am very much so a Mind Body
- 00:26:09Soul kind of person and I think for me
- 00:26:11if we're starting with the mind just
- 00:26:14like not being on my phone the first
- 00:26:16moments that I wake up in the morning
- 00:26:19um I didn't realize like how second
- 00:26:21nature was
- 00:26:22like even just having like a separate
- 00:26:24alarm clock outside of my phone
- 00:26:26very new for me actually just started
- 00:26:29practicing that I do a social media
- 00:26:31detox once a month so like there's I'll
- 00:26:33literally delete the apps from my phone
- 00:26:35completely and it's the best for how
- 00:26:37long for how long I do at least seven
- 00:26:39days wow constantly yeah wow that's so
- 00:26:42cool yeah also very new but it's working
- 00:26:45highly recommend and I don't say these
- 00:26:48days to like knock anyway because
- 00:26:49there's some people I know that can like
- 00:26:50very much so be on these platforms and
- 00:26:52like are so unfazed by it and it's great
- 00:26:55for them and I love that for them but I
- 00:26:57know myself yeah and I'm very very
- 00:26:59sensitive so kind of just just
- 00:27:01practicing those things has been super
- 00:27:03helpful for me on the on the mental side
- 00:27:05and then I would say on the spiritual
- 00:27:07side meditating has done so much for me
- 00:27:09like meditation and prayer I think just
- 00:27:11believing and having faith in something
- 00:27:13that is greater than you is is always
- 00:27:14helpful you know I think it's really
- 00:27:16hard to trust something that you can't
- 00:27:18see that you can't physically feel or
- 00:27:21touch but there's all also something
- 00:27:23very magical when you tap into that and
- 00:27:25there's been moments where my day will
- 00:27:27be so crazy and I you know this is
- 00:27:29constantly trying to find time how do we
- 00:27:31reset the mind how do we reprogram and I
- 00:27:34just think to myself even after 10
- 00:27:36minutes of meditation there's another
- 00:27:37version of me on the other side of that
- 00:27:39that will be so much better so much
- 00:27:42capable what part of me can't give
- 00:27:43myself 10 minutes today so like that
- 00:27:46that spiritual like tap in and like
- 00:27:49re-centering for me is
- 00:27:52special sauce and what type of
- 00:27:54meditation is that for you what what
- 00:27:55guided meditation still for me because
- 00:27:59we've got a lot of thoughts these days
- 00:28:01you know and it's hard to silence them
- 00:28:03but uh it's sometimes twice a day you
- 00:28:06know I I try to do it twice a day
- 00:28:07definitely in the morning or sometimes
- 00:28:09when I'm in the sauna like post-workout
- 00:28:11um to kind of just really be in my body
- 00:28:13and then uh and then at night and I also
- 00:28:16do uh uh do you know Wim Hof yeah of
- 00:28:18course yeah yeah love it we've had room
- 00:28:20on the show oh my God yeah another
- 00:28:23person I would like absolutely geek out
- 00:28:25to me but honestly that that whole
- 00:28:28routine for me even like before shows
- 00:28:30just really relaxes the nervous system
- 00:28:32on that breath hold there's like a
- 00:28:35spiritual feeling that I have and
- 00:28:37sometimes I'll play like frequency
- 00:28:39during and it just like there's moments
- 00:28:42where I'm like oh my God I'm totally
- 00:28:43coming out of my body right now and this
- 00:28:44is so nice wow yeah and what about
- 00:28:47prayer you mentioned prayer there yes
- 00:28:49yeah prayer is super important it's
- 00:28:50funny I grew up in a very religious
- 00:28:52household I'm very Mexican in that sense
- 00:28:54my grandmothers are very Catholic and
- 00:28:58I'm much more spiritual than religious
- 00:29:00I'd say but I think seeing them in their
- 00:29:02dedication seeing them in their practice
- 00:29:05was like very inspiring to me when I was
- 00:29:07younger and also the communal aspect of
- 00:29:10it too like getting to pray with my
- 00:29:12grandmothers growing up is something
- 00:29:13very sacred to me and I just think that
- 00:29:16yeah when I pray and I Surrender like
- 00:29:19like going like God is like I literally
- 00:29:22have it tattooed because it's it's
- 00:29:24important to know that you can't control
- 00:29:25everything you just can't you can
- 00:29:27control what you do how you react to
- 00:29:31what's going on around you but you can't
- 00:29:33actually control everything that's
- 00:29:34happening around you and I struggle with
- 00:29:37that on a daily basis well said yeah I
- 00:29:40think you know it those are beautiful
- 00:29:41routines that's mental and spiritual
- 00:29:44what about physical there is not a
- 00:29:45version of me before this this I'd say
- 00:29:48age that would say I love being in the
- 00:29:50gym I love working out
- 00:29:52um so much the point where I'm like
- 00:29:54maybe I should prioritize sleep a little
- 00:29:56bit more than the gym but um good sleep
- 00:29:59good diet
- 00:30:00gym like feeling strong physically and
- 00:30:04knowing that I'm taking care of my body
- 00:30:05again like the The Vessel needs to be
- 00:30:10safe and it needs to be protected and
- 00:30:13provided for and and so I try my
- 00:30:16absolute best
- 00:30:18um but even in that sense it's like you
- 00:30:19know not that my indulgent self takes
- 00:30:21over but like enjoying the little things
- 00:30:23in life like the balance you know like I
- 00:30:25love food so the balance of that is like
- 00:30:28you go burn it off in the gym girl and
- 00:30:30you'll be just fine I love that no and
- 00:30:33it's so beautiful that you're thinking
- 00:30:34about your life as those three legs to
- 00:30:37the table or the stool in your life
- 00:30:38because
- 00:30:40it is so interesting to me about how as
- 00:30:43soon as you take your eye off of one of
- 00:30:45them how much harder everything else
- 00:30:47becomes And yet when those three things
- 00:30:49are good like you said they can carry
- 00:30:51the weight even if it's getting really
- 00:30:53really heavy yeah you still have this
- 00:30:55Fighting Chance almost and I guess
- 00:30:58the thing that
- 00:31:00I found that has really helped me in
- 00:31:03that regard as well is making sure that
- 00:31:05I'm not trying to solve all three at the
- 00:31:07same time it's almost like one at a time
- 00:31:09like I remember I always had my
- 00:31:11spiritual practice and then I added my
- 00:31:13mental practice and then I added my
- 00:31:15physical practice and for me that order
- 00:31:19worked really well whereas when you're
- 00:31:20trying to solve all three at the same
- 00:31:21time then two it's almost like saying if
- 00:31:24you're putting a table together using
- 00:31:26your analogy you can't put all three
- 00:31:29legs on at the same time it just doesn't
- 00:31:31work that way you got to put one in
- 00:31:32properly then the other one and then the
- 00:31:34other one I want to go back to something
- 00:31:36you said earlier
- 00:31:37you talked about the need for Quality
- 00:31:39Connections instead of quantity
- 00:31:41connections what is Becky G's definition
- 00:31:44of a quality connection how do you view
- 00:31:48a quality connection you know I think
- 00:31:50it's it's when I feel safe in a room to
- 00:31:53be my true authentic self
- 00:31:55and there's ways that my body used to
- 00:31:57tell me that that like this isn't
- 00:32:00authentic like there's something about
- 00:32:01this that doesn't feel right and I would
- 00:32:03stay in the room because you're scared
- 00:32:04of how that might come off or again the
- 00:32:06people-pleasing Tendencies totally start
- 00:32:07to come through right yeah I'm a
- 00:32:09performer by Nature at this point
- 00:32:11because I've been doing this for longer
- 00:32:12than I've ever not been doing it but I
- 00:32:15think it was just really understanding
- 00:32:17man like it feels really good when I can
- 00:32:19just show up and be me
- 00:32:22and
- 00:32:23when I'm trying to be my authentic self
- 00:32:26sometimes there's a little fumbling that
- 00:32:29happens or just sometimes it flows like
- 00:32:31right now this feels like a quality
- 00:32:33connection it's just flowing I'm not
- 00:32:35really thinking about what could be said
- 00:32:38or what could be felt and how that might
- 00:32:40come off and that feels to me again
- 00:32:42aside from the universe and it really
- 00:32:44affirms that I'm exactly where I'm
- 00:32:46supposed to be and so when I have those
- 00:32:48feelings that feel very affirmed in a
- 00:32:50moment that is quality connection and it
- 00:32:53might be with the stranger there's been
- 00:32:54times where like I mean man I'll be at
- 00:32:56the airport sometimes just killing time
- 00:32:58because I'm totally like my grandparents
- 00:33:00I don't want to be late for a fight or
- 00:33:01something and I'm just talking to like
- 00:33:03the person behind the bar and just like
- 00:33:05how's your day today and I walk away
- 00:33:07like oh my God Johnny was so sweet I
- 00:33:10want to go to his mom's pizza shop like
- 00:33:12next time I'm in the city I'm coming
- 00:33:14because there's like a true connection
- 00:33:16that's being made and I think what we
- 00:33:18celebrate today is like followers like
- 00:33:20how many followers you have how many
- 00:33:21numbers you have streaming this and it's
- 00:33:24like that I I think is is is amazing
- 00:33:27when you're thinking from a business
- 00:33:29aspect but even then truly like people
- 00:33:32want to support something that is real I
- 00:33:34want to support something that is real
- 00:33:36whether it be in my friendships whether
- 00:33:38it be with my family with my team with
- 00:33:40my fans and so uh yeah I'd say that's
- 00:33:43what it is it's like that authenticity I
- 00:33:45could feel it yeah yeah and it's really
- 00:33:47interesting right you said that we
- 00:33:49almost all have a inner
- 00:33:52Compass or an inner
- 00:33:56dial that tells us whether something
- 00:33:59feels authentic and aligned or it
- 00:34:02doesn't but we tend to ignore it
- 00:34:04sometimes because of our people pleasing
- 00:34:06Tendencies or whatever it may have been
- 00:34:08when is the time in your life where you
- 00:34:10feel like you've ignored it and it's
- 00:34:12misled you or it's LED you away from
- 00:34:15feeling how you feel now where you feel
- 00:34:17safe in yourself yeah I definitely feel
- 00:34:20so reflective on like certain career
- 00:34:22moments where it was very easy for me to
- 00:34:25let other people make decisions for me
- 00:34:28and then and then when it wouldn't work
- 00:34:30be like ah I should have said something
- 00:34:32you know oh why didn't I say oh but
- 00:34:34there wasn't enough time
- 00:34:36there just wasn't enough time we just
- 00:34:38and and realizing like man I spent some
- 00:34:41key pivotal moments in my career
- 00:34:44feeling like I was being far more
- 00:34:46reactive to what was happening than like
- 00:34:49proactive and setting myself up to like
- 00:34:52fully be present you know and I look
- 00:34:53back at it and I'm like I'm very proud
- 00:34:55of myself for having made it through
- 00:34:57those moments but like there was moments
- 00:35:00where and and this is like even deeper
- 00:35:02on like the uh the experiences I used to
- 00:35:04have with like anxiety and panic attacks
- 00:35:06you know I didn't know that that was
- 00:35:08like my body physically telling me
- 00:35:11something's wrong like you're not okay
- 00:35:15but because you're scared to let other
- 00:35:17people down you're scared of what other
- 00:35:19people might say you push through
- 00:35:21anyways
- 00:35:22and I realize like just because you can
- 00:35:26doesn't mean you should
- 00:35:28and I think that that's one of my most
- 00:35:30valuable lessons for sure because there
- 00:35:32was I mean many moments before going on
- 00:35:35to a stage and
- 00:35:37I mean we're talking full-blown tears
- 00:35:39can't breathe if you've had a panic
- 00:35:41attack you know the world is ending and
- 00:35:44there's also this like subconscious part
- 00:35:46of you that's like girl breathe just
- 00:35:49breathe you know you know what this is
- 00:35:51you know but your nervous system can't
- 00:35:53tell the difference between like the
- 00:35:55mental bear and the real bear that's in
- 00:35:56the room and there's no bears in the
- 00:35:58room so like chillax it's okay you know
- 00:36:01um yeah just being really young and in
- 00:36:03really high stress situations like you
- 00:36:06know you're everybody's boss but
- 00:36:07technically everybody's older than you
- 00:36:09and it's just such an interesting
- 00:36:11Dynamic to have grown up in and so I
- 00:36:13think that that has been the most
- 00:36:15valuable lesson for me up until this
- 00:36:17point you know just like yeah just
- 00:36:20because you can doesn't mean you should
- 00:36:22yeah that's good advice yeah well said
- 00:36:24when you're doing my people pleasing
- 00:36:26there and that naturally happens in
- 00:36:28environments where like you said even
- 00:36:30though you're the boss everyone's older
- 00:36:32than you it's it's natural to want to
- 00:36:34please our elders in the same ways we
- 00:36:36try to please our parents in our family
- 00:36:37and I know you've worked a lot on
- 00:36:40therapy and that's an area of your life
- 00:36:41you've invested in deeply
- 00:36:44how is therapy or what work have you
- 00:36:46done in therapy that's helped you
- 00:36:48identify your people pleasing Tendencies
- 00:36:51and allow you to start reframing and
- 00:36:53reshaping them because I think so many
- 00:36:56of us often work so hard at pleasing
- 00:36:59people that we end up
- 00:37:03displeasing and disconnecting from
- 00:37:05ourselves and we don't realize that in
- 00:37:07the attempt to make someone else happy
- 00:37:10we're making ourselves more unhappy and
- 00:37:13miserable miserable yeah and the other
- 00:37:16person's not happy either because they
- 00:37:18can tell that it's not it's not coming
- 00:37:20from an authentic genuine place it's
- 00:37:22just coming from a place of like I don't
- 00:37:23want to cause any trouble so what's some
- 00:37:25of the work that you've done or what
- 00:37:27some of the lessons that you've been
- 00:37:28able to illuminate about your triggers
- 00:37:30and where they come from and reframing
- 00:37:33how the people how to move away from
- 00:37:35people please yeah well like I said it's
- 00:37:36definitely like a daily practice for me
- 00:37:38but I think a lot of the first I would
- 00:37:42say like the first two years of therapy
- 00:37:43for me were very reactive to what was
- 00:37:45happening in real time I wasn't really
- 00:37:48comfortable with the idea of shining a
- 00:37:50spotlight on what the root cause of
- 00:37:52anything was you know it was very
- 00:37:54ambiguous in the sense of like it's got
- 00:37:56to be this this is because this happened
- 00:37:57and so going back to like the the
- 00:38:00reactiveness of the first two years for
- 00:38:02me is is funny because yeah there was a
- 00:38:04lot of small fires that I had to put out
- 00:38:06in that moment it was a very high stress
- 00:38:08time in my career in my personal life
- 00:38:10when I had first started therapy but I
- 00:38:13think when I really surrendered to the
- 00:38:16fact that this goes so much deeper than
- 00:38:17just what's happening around me but it's
- 00:38:19like how I exist in all of it like that
- 00:38:22is when I was like oh yeah this Cisco's
- 00:38:25a lot deeper and a lot of it is you know
- 00:38:27childhood stuff and when I think about
- 00:38:29you know big part of my childhood was
- 00:38:31also shared in an industry that you know
- 00:38:33my parents were very very young they
- 00:38:35knew nothing about it like quite
- 00:38:37literally and and even then I like to
- 00:38:39think I came out kind of okay but but
- 00:38:41you know like they they couldn't really
- 00:38:43protect me from much when it came to
- 00:38:46that stuff and then the fact that they
- 00:38:48were young parents when they got married
- 00:38:50and and had children like they were
- 00:38:53babies raising babies and so there was a
- 00:38:55lot of things I had to like learn from
- 00:38:57myself and teach for myself and so I
- 00:38:59think having a lot more empathy for
- 00:39:01myself was like a big step in therapy
- 00:39:04because it was hard for me to accept the
- 00:39:07fact that I went without things like
- 00:39:10what do you mean but we tried our best
- 00:39:11but we did what we had to do I did what
- 00:39:13I had to do there was just so much
- 00:39:15resistance to the fact that I still
- 00:39:18didn't get what I really needed and so I
- 00:39:22think when you can just come from that
- 00:39:23space of empathy and compassion for
- 00:39:25yourself that like everybody really was
- 00:39:27trying you really were trying and it
- 00:39:29still came out a little short but hey
- 00:39:31it's not too late like you can still
- 00:39:33learn you can still learn you know and
- 00:39:35that was like I would say yeah third
- 00:39:37year of therapy and that's crazy because
- 00:39:39you're right it's invest Smith and even
- 00:39:42then I mean some of the the types of
- 00:39:44work that I do you know I think when you
- 00:39:47take inventory
- 00:39:48on your life you know like really taking
- 00:39:51inventory on what your relationships
- 00:39:54with the people around you in your life
- 00:39:55look like and felt like from the moment
- 00:39:58you were born to this current day
- 00:40:00inventory on memories you know
- 00:40:03experiences that you've had in your
- 00:40:05Recollections of them and then also kind
- 00:40:08of revisiting those with those people
- 00:40:10and being like hey what was your
- 00:40:11experience like in this you know it's
- 00:40:13the trippiest thing for me and my
- 00:40:14siblings because I'm like we let us have
- 00:40:16the same parents grow but the same four
- 00:40:18walls around us and we're all so
- 00:40:19different yeah and we all process so
- 00:40:21different right so going back to an even
- 00:40:23the deeper level of compassion and
- 00:40:25empathy holding space for each other in
- 00:40:27that way so beautiful yeah we didn't get
- 00:40:30to really doing that until we went into
- 00:40:31family therapy together so thankful for
- 00:40:33the resource and opportunity to do that
- 00:40:35because there's there's a lot of times
- 00:40:37where I'm like man like we things could
- 00:40:41have gone one or another way and we kept
- 00:40:44choosing you know family and we got to a
- 00:40:47point where like choosing family this
- 00:40:49ride or die mentality of like oh you
- 00:40:52know like why do we have to ride or die
- 00:40:53why can't we just be you know like
- 00:40:55nobody's gonna ask that question and I
- 00:40:58was the big sister who was like you know
- 00:41:00parentified so I was like I'm their
- 00:41:02parent they're my and they're like we
- 00:41:03just want you to be our big sister we
- 00:41:05don't need you to be our mom or our dad
- 00:41:07and I'm like what do you mean I have to
- 00:41:09be it was like all those rigid roles and
- 00:41:11stuff so taking inventory was super
- 00:41:13helpful for me it gave me so much
- 00:41:15perspective and then recently I started
- 00:41:17doing like Parts work which we were
- 00:41:19talking about all the parts you know
- 00:41:20like oh there's a part of me that's
- 00:41:22still a child I'm still freaking Afraid
- 00:41:24of the Dark I the amount of times I
- 00:41:26travel and I'm alone in my hotel room
- 00:41:29and I'm like I'm gonna sleep with the TV
- 00:41:30on just so it feels like somebody's here
- 00:41:32because it's a little scary in here
- 00:41:35um that's a part of me you know that's a
- 00:41:36part of me that's still trying to figure
- 00:41:38figure things out still feels a little
- 00:41:40lonely the stuff is a little lost
- 00:41:42um there's the Boss part of me that
- 00:41:44feels super empowered and feels like
- 00:41:46such a Visionary over the career that
- 00:41:48I've built from myself and excited to
- 00:41:50like continue to attack these like parts
- 00:41:52of the industry that quite literally
- 00:41:55need to just be broken down you know so
- 00:41:57more of more of me can get in there when
- 00:41:59I say more of me I mean other powerful
- 00:42:00women who have you know so much talent
- 00:42:03and so much just to offer in these
- 00:42:06spaces yeah it's it's beautiful I love
- 00:42:09the parts work yeah no and it's so
- 00:42:11beautiful to hear someone talk about it
- 00:42:13so thoroughly and thoughtfully and I
- 00:42:16think when you can articulate something
- 00:42:18effectively it means you're more likely
- 00:42:20to be able to process it up here yeah
- 00:42:23right when you connect the feeling part
- 00:42:25yeah though that's that's the other part
- 00:42:27because I really I learned this from
- 00:42:29myself it's like Becky you're really
- 00:42:30good at intellectualizing your feelings
- 00:42:32but do you feel them
- 00:42:34cue the tears like I on purpose
- 00:42:37sometimes have to like get myself to
- 00:42:39that space to release because the body
- 00:42:42keeps count the body keeps score of all
- 00:42:46of what you go through so you can be
- 00:42:47like yeah I was really stressed I really
- 00:42:48is if you don't allow your body to feel
- 00:42:50it somatically like that's the other
- 00:42:54thing that for me I think I find myself
- 00:42:56like that's was the manifestation of the
- 00:42:58panic attacks and things like that like
- 00:43:00oh right anxiety depression they're not
- 00:43:03the diagnosis they're the result of
- 00:43:07that was like whoa big knowledge for me
- 00:43:11because I was like oh yeah I just have
- 00:43:12anxiety and depression it's normal like
- 00:43:14I just have panic attacks all the time
- 00:43:16like no your body is telling you
- 00:43:19something you are processing something
- 00:43:20that you aren't letting your body feel
- 00:43:23you know
- 00:43:25it's again a hard reality because
- 00:43:27allowing yourself to feel it again is it
- 00:43:29almost goes back to that giving
- 00:43:30permission like just giving ourselves
- 00:43:32permission to feel giving ourselves
- 00:43:34permission to process something giving
- 00:43:36ourselves permission to allow for this
- 00:43:39Paradox to exist when was the last time
- 00:43:42you cried this morning yeah yeah that's
- 00:43:44why I'm not crying right now
- 00:43:46no truly truthfully speaking it was this
- 00:43:49morning
- 00:43:50um it's such a stressful time you know
- 00:43:52and it's a it's a time where I feel like
- 00:43:54in my career
- 00:43:56it's funny to me I'm like I can walk off
- 00:43:59a stage and feel like oh I want to do
- 00:44:00that all over again and then leading up
- 00:44:02to a performance I'm like why do I do
- 00:44:03this to myself this is torturous
- 00:44:06um and I know but I I like to think that
- 00:44:10uh I I always regret not working out I
- 00:44:12never regret the workout and so I tried
- 00:44:14to think about that way in my life like
- 00:44:17oh I gotta do hard thing I was designed
- 00:44:21to do hard things you know but even then
- 00:44:24acknowledging that it's hard is super
- 00:44:26important because then you can have that
- 00:44:28compassion and empathy for yourself but
- 00:44:30if you don't acknowledge that it can be
- 00:44:31very challenging you're not gonna leave
- 00:44:34any room for that compassion and that
- 00:44:36empathy that you need to have for
- 00:44:37yourself in order to do those hard
- 00:44:38things and so yeah your girl is crying
- 00:44:41it was a full moon it was it was all
- 00:44:43kinds of things but it was good it was a
- 00:44:44good cry like it's not always like a sad
- 00:44:47cry sometimes it's like a a release like
- 00:44:50a sense of relief you know yeah it's
- 00:44:53really interesting that if someone's
- 00:44:54natural reaction to something was to
- 00:44:56laugh we'd see that as normal but when
- 00:44:59someone's natural reaction to something
- 00:45:00is to cry we see that as wrong or it's
- 00:45:03like stop crying everything will be okay
- 00:45:05we'd never say to someone stop laughing
- 00:45:07everything will be okay right or
- 00:45:08everything thing is okay like it's
- 00:45:11really interesting to me which emotions
- 00:45:12we allow for in society and which
- 00:45:14emotions we try and block others and
- 00:45:17ourselves from having and I find that
- 00:45:19the more we try and stop others from
- 00:45:21having a certain emotion it's usually
- 00:45:23because we block that in ourselves for a
- 00:45:26long long time and I love that you cried
- 00:45:29this morning and that was a release for
- 00:45:31you and it was helpful for you and it's
- 00:45:32powerful yeah I think it's and I'm so
- 00:45:35glad you shared that with us today as
- 00:45:36well because at the moment we're
- 00:45:38experiencing a really vibrant abundant
- 00:45:41with your frequency and the interesting
- 00:45:43thing is when you were crying you were
- 00:45:45still vibrant and abundant like we
- 00:45:46shouldn't see that as not that right
- 00:45:49just because it looks different yeah
- 00:45:51definitely and I think it's like it goes
- 00:45:53back to like those core those core
- 00:45:55emotions you know really understanding
- 00:45:57like again what are the symptoms of
- 00:45:59those core emotions and when I'm feeling
- 00:46:01this anxiety when I'm feeling is it
- 00:46:03coming from a place of fear and do I
- 00:46:04just need to talk about it or am I
- 00:46:07experiencing such great joy that my body
- 00:46:09really doesn't know how to receive this
- 00:46:10right now you know or am I experiencing
- 00:46:12both because there's two things going on
- 00:46:14at the same time
- 00:46:16um and and I think it's doing that that
- 00:46:17check in with yourself that's super
- 00:46:19important making time for it you know
- 00:46:21like I genuinely made time to cry today
- 00:46:23and I'm very proud that I did that
- 00:46:25because I would be crying right now
- 00:46:26which would have been totally fine as
- 00:46:28well but uh but I think it's also such a
- 00:46:31it's such a sacred practice for me not
- 00:46:33crying but just checking in with myself
- 00:46:35that to be able to know how to do that
- 00:46:38and support myself in that way instead
- 00:46:40of seeking it
- 00:46:42again in a space of validation when it
- 00:46:45feels too late and more reactive
- 00:46:47um or from people who maybe don't know
- 00:46:50how to do that for me it feels
- 00:46:52empowering to know oh I I got me I
- 00:46:55always got me you know ah I mean if we
- 00:46:58could all just feel like I've always got
- 00:47:00me and we don't all the time like I said
- 00:47:02it's it's a it's a it's a daily practice
- 00:47:04to make that effort and even then I fall
- 00:47:07short you know I fell in charge even for
- 00:47:09friends and family members of mine and I
- 00:47:12think that's that's when our human
- 00:47:13really shows you know like there's that
- 00:47:16window of Tolerance and we can try to
- 00:47:18expand it as much as possible but
- 00:47:20there's still a window you know like
- 00:47:22it's still a window and some days it's
- 00:47:24this big and some days it can be this
- 00:47:25big
- 00:47:27um and so it's just like acknowledging
- 00:47:28and then expressing that too just
- 00:47:30letting everybody know hey my windows my
- 00:47:32windows really small today it's Becky's
- 00:47:35size
- 00:47:36um or sometimes it's just like yo my
- 00:47:38window is Big we should fit a whole
- 00:47:39house to that thing you know everybody
- 00:47:41bring come on in yeah it's nice to just
- 00:47:44be able to Vibe check like that yeah and
- 00:47:46that's that daily as you use the word
- 00:47:48inventory that daily check-in of like
- 00:47:50where am I at how am I feeling what can
- 00:47:53I offer is today a internal day or an
- 00:47:56external day like I I do that all the
- 00:47:58time too there are certain days where I
- 00:48:01can literally be there for anyone and
- 00:48:02everyone and I am this outward person
- 00:48:06and then there are days where I just
- 00:48:07want to be alone and be in silence and
- 00:48:09Stillness and being able to accept that
- 00:48:12they're both one and the same thing yes
- 00:48:14that one is not a better expression of
- 00:48:17me and one is not a worse expression of
- 00:48:19me I think we still live in this world
- 00:48:21of what's right and wrong and better or
- 00:48:23worse good or bad I can't that's what I
- 00:48:26mean about the black and white thinking
- 00:48:27that I was talking about earlier and uh
- 00:48:31what's that story there's a story about
- 00:48:33the man and he says well we'll just have
- 00:48:36to wait and see basically
- 00:48:38um
- 00:48:40is he like a father and his son and this
- 00:48:43thing happens and then they're like oh
- 00:48:45I'm so sorry and he's like well we'll
- 00:48:46see you know we'll see and it actually
- 00:48:49you know there's so many things that you
- 00:48:50think are a bad thing right
- 00:48:52quote-unquote bad thing that are
- 00:48:53happening but in reality it's a good
- 00:48:55thing and uh and then maybe maybe it
- 00:48:57turns out to not be a good thing you
- 00:48:59just never know you know but I like to
- 00:49:01think uh that everything happens for you
- 00:49:04not to you like that is my that is my my
- 00:49:08mojo these days everything is happening
- 00:49:10for me not to me and it's interesting
- 00:49:13how you're the way you exist in those
- 00:49:16spaces will actually shift because you
- 00:49:19realize oh this is in my favor
- 00:49:21I'm supposed to learn something from
- 00:49:23this you know I'm supposed to like gain
- 00:49:25something from this and that's why the
- 00:49:28whole concept of failure and success
- 00:49:30like navigating this industry since such
- 00:49:32a young age there's songs of mine that I
- 00:49:34love that I thought deserved to be the
- 00:49:36number one song and they're probably
- 00:49:38like the lowest streaming whatever you
- 00:49:40know but it's like what it means to me
- 00:49:42is a win like that is a success to me
- 00:49:45that's not a failure you know and so
- 00:49:47it's like redefining what what success
- 00:49:50means to you uh redefining what
- 00:49:53greatness is it's redefining what all of
- 00:49:56the the stuff that life has to offer and
- 00:49:59saying No this is happening for me not
- 00:50:01to me for me I just think it's so yeah
- 00:50:05yeah for anyone who's wondering the
- 00:50:07story that Becky was referring to which
- 00:50:09please encapsulate in that point it's a
- 00:50:12beautiful Zen story about a man and his
- 00:50:15son and the man buys his son a horse
- 00:50:18well actually his son finds a horse I
- 00:50:20believe and comes home riding this
- 00:50:23beautiful horse and all the villagers
- 00:50:24are like wow this is amazing like he's
- 00:50:27just so incredible that he could tame
- 00:50:29this Wild Horse and now he's writing in
- 00:50:31look how elegant it is
- 00:50:33and the man said the father says good
- 00:50:35thing bad thing who knows or maybe let's
- 00:50:38see and then the next thing that happens
- 00:50:41is that the sun's riding the horse and
- 00:50:43then he gets thrown off the horse and
- 00:50:45when he gets thrown off the horse his
- 00:50:46leg gets fractured and he has to have an
- 00:50:49operation and surgery and whatever else
- 00:50:50and everyone in the village it's like oh
- 00:50:52my God this is the worst thing that's
- 00:50:53ever happened oh no oh no no and the man
- 00:50:55says good thing bad thing who knows or
- 00:50:58maybe let's see and then after that they
- 00:51:01come and recruit everyone in the village
- 00:51:02to join the Army because they've got to
- 00:51:05defend themselves but this guy can't go
- 00:51:07and everyone's like you're so lucky your
- 00:51:08son's not going because his leg's broken
- 00:51:10all of our sons have gone we're gonna
- 00:51:12miss them and the man says good thing
- 00:51:14bad thing who knows or maybe let's see
- 00:51:16and it continues that way that it's and
- 00:51:19it's really hard in the moment to live
- 00:51:20that way because when it feels like
- 00:51:23because our mind has been trained in
- 00:51:25that good and bad when something bad is
- 00:51:28happening it feels like nothing good can
- 00:51:31come from it and the interesting thing
- 00:51:33is when something good happens we're
- 00:51:35also equally convinced nothing bad can
- 00:51:38come from this and the truth is those
- 00:51:40two moments can switch so quickly and
- 00:51:43I've been at the intersection of both of
- 00:51:45them in my life and I've just found that
- 00:51:47not seeing things as good or bad but
- 00:51:50seeing them is just learning and lessons
- 00:51:52and healing and growth
- 00:51:55and what you just said which is that
- 00:51:57it's all about what's happening for us
- 00:51:59if we can just live in that way it's
- 00:52:02better than the dichotomy of good and
- 00:52:05bad positive and negative ugh Jay Shetty
- 00:52:07ladies and gentlemen
- 00:52:09I just yeah yeah I mean you definitely
- 00:52:13told the story better than I did no no
- 00:52:14I'm just filling in the gaps no but I
- 00:52:16really appreciate you going into that
- 00:52:18that much detail because I think that is
- 00:52:20I I wish that for the the future
- 00:52:23generations to really know that to
- 00:52:26really know that there is no such thing
- 00:52:28as as good or bad there's just you just
- 00:52:31doing doing what you can do for yourself
- 00:52:34whatever that looks like you know and
- 00:52:37and unfortunately I think what happens
- 00:52:38for a lot of Youth that grows up in you
- 00:52:41know communities like the ones I grew up
- 00:52:43in it's like we're doing a lot of things
- 00:52:45that we were never taught
- 00:52:47you know like we were doing a lot of
- 00:52:50things that we were never taught and so
- 00:52:51there's a lot of like self-doubt that
- 00:52:54Creeps in there's a lot of shame that
- 00:52:57Creeps in there's a lot of oh you know
- 00:52:59do I trust myself or do I just stay
- 00:53:01where I'm comfortable and it's just like
- 00:53:03nah just just do the best that you can
- 00:53:05whatever that looks like just do the
- 00:53:07best that you can you know and I I feel
- 00:53:10proud that there's moments in my life
- 00:53:11that I can look back and say wow I
- 00:53:13really I really showed up for myself you
- 00:53:15know in the best way I knew how to maybe
- 00:53:18would look a little different today but
- 00:53:19even then like very proud nonetheless
- 00:53:22and so yeah I I hope that for the future
- 00:53:24Generations that they leave room for
- 00:53:26themselves to know that good thing bad
- 00:53:28thing I don't know guess we'll see you
- 00:53:31know yeah yeah and you know it's you
- 00:53:33know what's really interesting back yeah
- 00:53:34obviously I went so I went on tour for
- 00:53:36the first time this year
- 00:53:38it was what you did it was hard and
- 00:53:42grueling and exhausting and at the same
- 00:53:43time the most fulfilling beautiful
- 00:53:46powerful thing we did I think it was
- 00:53:48around just under 40 cities across the
- 00:53:50world and it was insane as an experience
- 00:53:52and I'm so grateful I did it but I
- 00:53:56couldn't do anything else but that for
- 00:53:58the time that I was out I think overall
- 00:54:00we did that in like 80 days all of that
- 00:54:03and it was it was a lot of travel and
- 00:54:04everything else but I was obviously
- 00:54:06touring for my book eight rules of love
- 00:54:08and it was really interesting to me
- 00:54:11because there were
- 00:54:13there were lots of moments of the
- 00:54:15difference about for those of you who
- 00:54:16came to my show you already know but it
- 00:54:18wasn't a speech or a lecture it was
- 00:54:20literally like a social experiment where
- 00:54:22I would take people up from the audience
- 00:54:24people would be an uncomfortable
- 00:54:26situations there'd be humor there were
- 00:54:28moments where people were sharing their
- 00:54:30story with the entire you know thousands
- 00:54:32of people in the room it was really
- 00:54:34moving and there was one area where we
- 00:54:37really focused a lot on and it was this
- 00:54:38idea of how the biggest space we lose
- 00:54:42ourselves is often in romantic
- 00:54:44relationships and romantic relationships
- 00:54:46tend to be the relationships where we
- 00:54:49invest the most of us and often find
- 00:54:53that we leave feeling the most broken or
- 00:54:56hurt or whatever it may have been and I
- 00:54:57wanted to ask you like how have you
- 00:54:59looked at healing through romantic
- 00:55:01relationships that you've had we've
- 00:55:02talked a lot about platonic friendship
- 00:55:04family yeah and life but
- 00:55:07romantic relationships tend to affect us
- 00:55:09deeper I don't know if you agree with
- 00:55:10that or feel that way but uh yeah I mean
- 00:55:13I'm a sucker for love I love so much so
- 00:55:16much so I'm excited to talk about this
- 00:55:17with you because I know you are and I
- 00:55:19think for me it's because it doesn't get
- 00:55:21any closer to your heart than that you
- 00:55:23know this is this is the type of
- 00:55:25experience that isn't uh that's actually
- 00:55:28chosen you're not born into you know
- 00:55:31you're not uh placed into this is a this
- 00:55:34is a space of choice I I enjoy this
- 00:55:37person I enjoy the time that's spent
- 00:55:39with this person and I think that
- 00:55:41there's so much to be revealed in a
- 00:55:44dynamic like that about yourself
- 00:55:46and you don't realize it because
- 00:55:48sometimes you're so focused on the other
- 00:55:49person on the other side that when you
- 00:55:51realize like oh this is actually about
- 00:55:54me too you know it it it's as close to
- 00:55:58your heart as it gets and I think my
- 00:56:00healing in that is
- 00:56:02the deepest it's gotten of how do I
- 00:56:04exist in these spaces you know the the
- 00:56:07self-accountability part the
- 00:56:08self-reflective part of like what part
- 00:56:11of me shows up in these spaces and going
- 00:56:14to the parts work and stuff that I've
- 00:56:16done in therapy it's just like yeah
- 00:56:20it's powerful it's as I think it's it's
- 00:56:22as powerful as I could ever get because
- 00:56:25it's the most revealing of your weakness
- 00:56:29of your weaknesses yeah and your
- 00:56:31vulnerabilities and and all of that
- 00:56:33stuff and also maybe not your weaknesses
- 00:56:36but also your strengths you know it can
- 00:56:38show you like just how strong you are
- 00:56:40how giving you can be to someone finding
- 00:56:44parts of yourself that you didn't know
- 00:56:45existed you know I think it's a very
- 00:56:47inspiring space to be in uh I was
- 00:56:50talking I was to say talk about this
- 00:56:52with a friend but it funny enough is
- 00:56:54somebody who also works in the industry
- 00:56:55and she goes oh Amiga I used to be told
- 00:56:58all the time that I'm so unlucky in love
- 00:57:00and I beg to differ I've been so lucky
- 00:57:02in love and I'm like it's that that
- 00:57:04change of of mindset of knowing that
- 00:57:06like everything is happening for us not
- 00:57:08to us and I think that when I think of
- 00:57:10my journey of healing and relationships
- 00:57:12you know some of my earliest
- 00:57:14relationships and how I existed in them
- 00:57:17and then the ones that I've had in like
- 00:57:19my my you know teenage years young adult
- 00:57:22years
- 00:57:24um and how they evolve and how you
- 00:57:25change so much so much what have you
- 00:57:29done to that you'd encourage all the
- 00:57:32people to tend to to find that
- 00:57:34strength within themselves and that
- 00:57:36connection with themselves when it
- 00:57:38almost feels like
- 00:57:39the foundations are broken like those
- 00:57:41three legs are just destroyed yeah well
- 00:57:44are the three legs actually destroyed I
- 00:57:47think it's like again it's a it's an
- 00:57:48opportunity to reflect inward what is
- 00:57:51real what is not real and going back to
- 00:57:53like what's happening in the real world
- 00:57:54versus what's happening what's happening
- 00:57:56on social media
- 00:57:57it's not always reflective of the same
- 00:57:59thing you know and and one's experience
- 00:58:02and something can be so different than
- 00:58:04someone else's but leaving room for
- 00:58:06yours is super important and then also
- 00:58:08being selective and who you share that
- 00:58:09with because it is such a sacred thing
- 00:58:11you know and I think that's been one of
- 00:58:13the most revealing things for me in this
- 00:58:15you know chapter of my life is like who
- 00:58:18do I share with with everything who do I
- 00:58:22share with who deserves to be in these
- 00:58:24spaces with me in my pain in my peak in
- 00:58:30my process all of those things like I I
- 00:58:34deserve to have filters I deserve to
- 00:58:39hold space I deserve to just be and not
- 00:58:43have to explain
- 00:58:45you know and I and I think being a
- 00:58:48person who's grown up on social media
- 00:58:50there has been so many times in my life
- 00:58:53where I've just been like no no
- 00:58:57and then what you say how you say it who
- 00:59:01said it always gets mixed up always gets
- 00:59:05used against you in some shape or form
- 00:59:07and and I think for me it's just like no
- 00:59:10I'm I'm good
- 00:59:12because um my three legs are they're
- 00:59:14good they've been solidified they're
- 00:59:17being catered to they're being taken
- 00:59:19care of and so my table is standing you
- 00:59:23know and I'm I'm proud of that I'm very
- 00:59:25proud of that to me it's
- 00:59:27really powerful what you just said now
- 00:59:29around the idea of
- 00:59:32we get so lost in a conversation that's
- 00:59:36happening outside of us that isn't
- 00:59:37actually reality and so almost we're
- 00:59:40looking at the wrong things we're
- 00:59:41arguing about the wrong things where
- 00:59:43internally having a debate about
- 00:59:45something that isn't the thing yep I
- 00:59:48actually had a friend I was talking to
- 00:59:51a week ago and we were discussing
- 00:59:54you know he's been going through some
- 00:59:56stuff and there was someone in his life
- 00:59:59that
- 01:00:00he had some
- 01:00:03rightful
- 01:00:04animosity towards right like it would it
- 01:00:08would be okay for him to feel this
- 01:00:09certain way about it
- 01:00:11and I was asking him what was the big
- 01:00:15win and what was the ego in
- 01:00:19um and I was asking him like what is
- 01:00:21really the win in this situation and he
- 01:00:23was saying the win in this situation is
- 01:00:26that my family member can move on from
- 01:00:28what they've been going through
- 01:00:30and I said what's the ego win and the
- 01:00:32ego in was that person's life is ruined
- 01:00:34right the other person that that they
- 01:00:36were mad at yeah and it was really
- 01:00:37interesting like just looking at it from
- 01:00:39that perspective of like it's natural to
- 01:00:43have the ego win become strong in a
- 01:00:45situation but then when you look at the
- 01:00:47bigger picture and you zoom out you're
- 01:00:48like oh actually now when I make sense
- 01:00:51of this that actually is irrelevant
- 01:00:54to what I really care about does that
- 01:00:55make any sense yeah 100 100 and so I
- 01:00:58think to me it's I'm always reflecting
- 01:01:00on that like what's my ego win in this
- 01:01:02scenario
- 01:01:03and what's the bigger win in this
- 01:01:05scenario and that only comes when you
- 01:01:08take a step back and what you said you
- 01:01:09look at the reality and you look at the
- 01:01:12filter that you just talked about to me
- 01:01:14that's the biggest one and I love how
- 01:01:16you said it wasn't just about the pains
- 01:01:17it was the Peaks it was a piece that's
- 01:01:19so well said like yeah who's the first
- 01:01:21person you want to call when you win
- 01:01:24and who's the first person you call when
- 01:01:26you want to lose yeah and there's a
- 01:01:28filter to that there's a filter to that
- 01:01:30on on what the qualifications of someone
- 01:01:33anyone in any way that comes into your
- 01:01:37space and I think going again so crazy
- 01:01:39everything goes back to my childhood of
- 01:01:41just being like giving giving giving
- 01:01:43giving when do you take
- 01:01:46and not take just to take I mean like
- 01:01:48receive you know like that to me is is
- 01:01:52uh is is like the thing to really
- 01:01:55be just thoughtful about and so those
- 01:01:58filters are again constantly being
- 01:02:00reevaluated for me and that's why I say
- 01:02:03growing up I'm not grown up I'm growing
- 01:02:05up and I'm sure you know the same way I
- 01:02:08felt this I felt such a strong sense of
- 01:02:10self at 16 and I look back at her and
- 01:02:13I'm like you better give me some of that
- 01:02:16girlfriend I don't know what that was or
- 01:02:17what you was on but you were you were
- 01:02:19locked in but also not aware of what was
- 01:02:23really out there in the world and so you
- 01:02:24go out in the world and you see what's
- 01:02:26out there and you're learning and you're
- 01:02:27adapting and you're taking all these
- 01:02:28things in and things start to feel a
- 01:02:29little different your surroundings your
- 01:02:31circumstances they all shift
- 01:02:33and then you know what that this is how
- 01:02:35I feel at 26 who's to say I'm not going
- 01:02:37to feel any different when I'm 36. you
- 01:02:39know and then 46 and so on and so I
- 01:02:41think just like leaving room again for
- 01:02:43that like that humanness and that being
- 01:02:46in process and the filters you know like
- 01:02:49not the filters we see on social media
- 01:02:51but the the real filters that matter you
- 01:02:54know we can't just be drinking any water
- 01:02:56interesting you think you're really sick
- 01:02:58by drinking just any water you know but
- 01:03:00if also if you just drink only purified
- 01:03:02water you're not getting the minerals
- 01:03:03that you need you're not getting you
- 01:03:05know so you can't you can't be too
- 01:03:06guarded yeah because then that's a very
- 01:03:09lonely space to live in you know to have
- 01:03:11these walls that no one could ever get
- 01:03:13through
- 01:03:14but but if you have no walls
- 01:03:17you have no no boundaries no anything
- 01:03:19and everyone and anyone can come in
- 01:03:21whenever they want to I don't think
- 01:03:23that's a way to live life either you
- 01:03:25know so uh I I like to think of the um
- 01:03:28the the house that I was born into
- 01:03:31had no roof sometimes you know maybe
- 01:03:34some of the doors were a little funky
- 01:03:36there's no locks on the doors and and
- 01:03:38the windows are a little broken
- 01:03:40but there comes a time when you grow up
- 01:03:42and you can say I don't have to live in
- 01:03:43this house anymore I can go build a new
- 01:03:46house I can build my own house where the
- 01:03:50windows I can open and close them as I
- 01:03:51want to
- 01:03:52check the blinds or let in the light
- 01:03:54there's locks on my doors I can let
- 01:03:57people in and share in my in my space
- 01:03:59and share a meal with them and and even
- 01:04:03if they'd like to move into my house
- 01:04:04because I choose for them to to be in
- 01:04:06the house beautiful but also there's
- 01:04:08locks on my door so not just anybody can
- 01:04:10come into my house you know knowing that
- 01:04:13knowing that I I've provided a roof over
- 01:04:15my head that yeah if it rains we're good
- 01:04:18we're fine you know it can it can come
- 01:04:21Crashing Down
- 01:04:23and I will be safe I think that's that's
- 01:04:26beautiful like we're all building our
- 01:04:28own houses that look very different than
- 01:04:32the houses we grew up in that is so
- 01:04:34powerful Becky G just off his shoulder
- 01:04:37that was like thank you that was right
- 01:04:39no that was so powerful like I love that
- 01:04:41analogy it's so it's so true there are
- 01:04:44some people you only meet in restaurants
- 01:04:46there are some people who may get to the
- 01:04:48porch of the front door there are some
- 01:04:50people who make it inside to the living
- 01:04:52room there are some people who you cook
- 01:04:54a meal for some people just order in for
- 01:04:56and there's some people who not
- 01:04:59everyone's allowed into your private
- 01:05:00spaces your bedroom you know like I
- 01:05:02think for people to know that they can
- 01:05:05set how intimate they want to be with
- 01:05:08different people yeah and that there
- 01:05:10isn't a
- 01:05:11policy that exists outside of that it's
- 01:05:15something you have to set for yourself
- 01:05:17is is such an important thing to remind
- 01:05:19people because I think people feel
- 01:05:22forced through stages they feel
- 01:05:24uncomfortable through the different
- 01:05:25steps and
- 01:05:27for you I mean you just referred to the
- 01:05:29home I was wondering I think it was was
- 01:05:31it when you were nine years old that the
- 01:05:33home you grew up in yeah that was I was
- 01:05:35uh oh it didn't burn down so the economy
- 01:05:38at the time was just it was a very scary
- 01:05:39time it was a recession happening and I
- 01:05:42just think that you know at the time my
- 01:05:44parents were so young they had no idea
- 01:05:46they were first-time homeowners no idea
- 01:05:48really what type of mortgage they had
- 01:05:50gotten you know committed to and
- 01:05:52you hope for the best but not
- 01:05:55necessarily prepared for the worst you
- 01:05:56know this is one of those things where I
- 01:05:59think
- 01:05:59I mean thank God for our families that
- 01:06:02we had like this family support that we
- 01:06:04had because
- 01:06:05we lost everything we we lost our home I
- 01:06:09went from having like my my first own
- 01:06:11bedroom like most of most of my life I
- 01:06:13shared uh up until that point I'd shared
- 01:06:15a bedroom with my siblings all three of
- 01:06:18them and so I remember this house that
- 01:06:20we were living in it was the first year
- 01:06:21I had ever had my own room and I was so
- 01:06:24excited I was like this is what Lizzie
- 01:06:26McGuire has this is what like all the
- 01:06:28girls on Disney Channel they get to put
- 01:06:29posters up on their wall and they get to
- 01:06:31like you know rhinestone their closets
- 01:06:34and whatever and and I just remember
- 01:06:36like being so excited about moving into
- 01:06:39that house and then when we lost it just
- 01:06:42feeling like oh well that that didn't
- 01:06:43last for very long I think like
- 01:06:45subconsciously that started something in
- 01:06:47my mind that felt like oh when you have
- 01:06:49good things they go away
- 01:06:51nothing lasts forever so don't hold on
- 01:06:53to it too tight and I'm thankful for
- 01:06:56like the flexibility that that gave me
- 01:06:58in life but it also makes me very sad
- 01:07:01for my younger self that really believed
- 01:07:03that everything good that happened to me
- 01:07:05came with a really hard price to pay you
- 01:07:09know so like if you have good things oh
- 01:07:11you gotta be ready gotta be ready for
- 01:07:13something that you know the the for the
- 01:07:15shoe to drop and uh and so we moved into
- 01:07:17my grandparents converted Garage in
- 01:07:19Inglewood
- 01:07:20uh where I was born and it was a garage
- 01:07:23I would say the size of the studio
- 01:07:24actually and it was all six of us my mom
- 01:07:28my dad uh my two brothers and my sister
- 01:07:30and there was bunk beds I slept on the
- 01:07:32bottom bunk with my sister and my
- 01:07:33brothers up top and my parents on the
- 01:07:34futon bed that you know they would make
- 01:07:36a couch during the day so we'd have a
- 01:07:38little bit more room and we had a pop-up
- 01:07:40table from Ikea that I would do my
- 01:07:43homework on and eat my cereal that was
- 01:07:46the knockoff brand of Cocoa Puffs not
- 01:07:48the real one all to all to fast forward
- 01:07:51to the day that I decided you know I
- 01:07:53want to do this I was obsessed with
- 01:07:55which is really funny to me I mentioned
- 01:07:57Lizzie McGuire blonde
- 01:07:59white girl I mentioned I was obsessed
- 01:08:02with Shirley Temple young blonde white
- 01:08:04girl I was obsessed with Dakota Fanning
- 01:08:07blonde white girl I don't know what it
- 01:08:10was but it was something about how young
- 01:08:11they were and how like empowered they
- 01:08:14were and they were doing these like very
- 01:08:15adult things you know they were like
- 01:08:17they were the the heroes of the stories
- 01:08:19that they were doing and and and acting
- 01:08:22and I just I remember thinking like oh I
- 01:08:25want to do that like I wanna and shout
- 01:08:28out to the internet I go on Google and I
- 01:08:30look up like what do you need to do or
- 01:08:31what who represents Dakota Fanning and
- 01:08:33all these things like how do you become
- 01:08:35an actress and
- 01:08:37um my first agency that I signed with uh
- 01:08:41at nine years old was osbrink agency
- 01:08:43shout out to my first ages and at the
- 01:08:46time they were representing Dakota
- 01:08:47Fanning and I did not know what the heck
- 01:08:49a monologue was I didn't know what head
- 01:08:51shots were I didn't know any of that was
- 01:08:53uh but I just knew I really wanted to
- 01:08:56learn I really wanted to do this and a
- 01:08:58huge shout out to my parents too because
- 01:09:00again they knew nothing about this they
- 01:09:01had three other kids you know to take
- 01:09:04care of too and the drive from Inglewood
- 01:09:07to Hollywood is is you know with traffic
- 01:09:09especially it's not not very close L.A
- 01:09:12County's big but they really supported
- 01:09:13me through that and I have like a little
- 01:09:15like I printed out a little contract to
- 01:09:18my parents and I said give me six months
- 01:09:20just six months and maybe yeah if
- 01:09:24nothing happens then like okay like you
- 01:09:27know that's fine like I'll leave you
- 01:09:29alone we'll Pretend This Never Happened
- 01:09:30or we can renegotiate our terms now we
- 01:09:33can renegotiate our terms after six
- 01:09:35months if all goes well
- 01:09:36and yeah going back to just like that
- 01:09:39instinct that agency that empowerment
- 01:09:42that I felt to just like to do this
- 01:09:44thing that no one in my family had ever
- 01:09:47done like there was really no point of
- 01:09:50reference
- 01:09:51and I'm glad I did it because I look
- 01:09:53back at the garage which is like still a
- 01:09:56real place where my family still lives
- 01:09:58you know there's there's a lot of things
- 01:10:00up there my Grandma has a couple of like
- 01:10:02little Shrine things of like oh you know
- 01:10:04I'm like Grandma this isn't a museum
- 01:10:05yeah there's people walking around the
- 01:10:07house like is that the house the back
- 01:10:09you lived in my grandma's like
- 01:10:10absolutely I'm like no very Sacred Space
- 01:10:13um but yeah it's like it's crazy to like
- 01:10:15look back at and think like this is you
- 01:10:18know this is where it all started that
- 01:10:20Fire Within me that felt like no I can
- 01:10:24really do this
- 01:10:25let's let's try this that's so
- 01:10:27spectacular that's special that's
- 01:10:29special how so many Big Dreams start
- 01:10:31from so many small places and and small
- 01:10:34places within us too yep and I was gonna
- 01:10:37ask you that like how have you now that
- 01:10:40you're building this new home
- 01:10:42that has Windows that work and there's
- 01:10:45doors that have locks
- 01:10:47what's changed about how
- 01:10:49you
- 01:10:52decide and Define how
- 01:10:55someone gets to get closer to you and
- 01:10:58and connected to you like what has
- 01:11:00changed what has evolved what have you
- 01:11:03learned growing up about who you allow
- 01:11:05close yeah I think it's like again it
- 01:11:08comes back to knowing that anything has
- 01:11:09to be concrete you know you can you can
- 01:11:12Vibe with people you can enjoy Beautiful
- 01:11:15Moments with people
- 01:11:17um and then and then the moment that
- 01:11:18something doesn't feel right you can
- 01:11:19speak to that and everything is always
- 01:11:21to me always owed a conversation you
- 01:11:23know I've had friendships in my life
- 01:11:25that just in all honesty I I outgrew and
- 01:11:28there's all love and it was a
- 01:11:29conversation and it's sometimes that
- 01:11:31simple but I think it's just like
- 01:11:33leaving room for that growth just like
- 01:11:36it's Gonna Change that's the point like
- 01:11:39we grow like we change going back to the
- 01:11:42ice cream seven years ago was chocolate
- 01:11:45today it's frozen yogurt I still have my
- 01:11:48back because I love chocolate
- 01:11:51again but you know like you're literal
- 01:11:55like you're even your physical body
- 01:11:57changes why wouldn't our minds and our
- 01:12:00hearts also expand and change in those
- 01:12:02ways too you know so I think it's like
- 01:12:04and it's not just in the way that I hope
- 01:12:06to be received by other people but it's
- 01:12:08just it's also like or like how I hold
- 01:12:10space for other people so also like
- 01:12:11being around people who hold that same
- 01:12:13space for me you know like I think
- 01:12:15understanding that these are like Mutual
- 01:12:18spaces right like it's empowering when
- 01:12:21you're like oh this is a choice yeah
- 01:12:23like I get to choose to be here you got
- 01:12:27to choose to be here like and we're here
- 01:12:29together like that to me has been the
- 01:12:33most beautiful part of my like Evolution
- 01:12:35and healing is like man like when I go
- 01:12:37on tour and my fans buy their tickets
- 01:12:39because they chose to be there like you
- 01:12:41know the same way I chose to walk onto
- 01:12:43that stage like let's not Rob ourselves
- 01:12:45of that like empowerment that agency
- 01:12:48that we have over our lives to decide to
- 01:12:52choose what's good for you what's best
- 01:12:54for you what motivates you what inspires
- 01:12:57you and that can be the bad things that
- 01:13:00could be the hard things that could be
- 01:13:02that because there's no such thing as
- 01:13:03good bad uh whatever you know it's it
- 01:13:07just is um
- 01:13:09you know when I'm speaking to you and I
- 01:13:10love this and I love it when I get to
- 01:13:12experience it in someone because I think
- 01:13:15it's quite rare but you would just have
- 01:13:17such a like strong spirit
- 01:13:19of just like positivity mindset like you
- 01:13:23obviously you're working on all of these
- 01:13:24things as we've been talking about today
- 01:13:26and I love seeing it be so tough in
- 01:13:30someone not I'm not saying that of
- 01:13:32course like you said you cried this
- 01:13:33morning
- 01:13:34I'm not saying without I'm actually more
- 01:13:37tough I'm not saying tough in the sense
- 01:13:39that there isn't any pain or stress of
- 01:13:42course to and to me the display of
- 01:13:45to yourself of pain is even tougher to
- 01:13:48be able to admit to yourself that hey
- 01:13:50I'm working on this stuff
- 01:13:52how have you
- 01:13:54stayed so open to that mindset of trust
- 01:14:00and forgiveness for yourself and others
- 01:14:03when it almost seems like there's so
- 01:14:05many reasons to not be that way yeah if
- 01:14:08that makes sense well I think it's just
- 01:14:09going back to like it makes it makes it
- 01:14:11easier for our human mind to see things
- 01:14:13in black and white right it makes our
- 01:14:15life easier but actually it doesn't I
- 01:14:17feel like it cuts a short from the
- 01:14:19experience that we're supposed to have
- 01:14:21like I I believe in karmic energy I
- 01:14:24believe that like we are here for a
- 01:14:26reason you know there's there's we're
- 01:14:28here on purpose there's a purpose to our
- 01:14:31pain to our our happiness to our
- 01:14:34greatest Joys to our anger there's
- 01:14:36purpose to all of it and so I think just
- 01:14:38like really allowing yourself to be open
- 01:14:41to it is is where I think I find it it's
- 01:14:44like it is that story of the father and
- 01:14:47his son like I
- 01:14:49don't think that there's these practices
- 01:14:52that have been around for like
- 01:14:54generations and generations and decades
- 01:14:57you know
- 01:14:59to think that like yeah it's just a
- 01:15:00bunch of Hocus Pocus you know like I I
- 01:15:03just don't I don't think so like I think
- 01:15:05that's why I have a hard time trusting
- 01:15:06like the power of technology sometimes
- 01:15:09that's a whole other conversation but it
- 01:15:10hasn't been around long enough for me to
- 01:15:12really understand what this is and what
- 01:15:15it's capable of and the impacts that it
- 01:15:17has like I said on the future
- 01:15:18Generations like it is it's intimidating
- 01:15:21and I think but you got to be open to it
- 01:15:23because if it cuts our processing time
- 01:15:26you know by half and our kids can learn
- 01:15:28more that's that's great but I believe
- 01:15:30in Balance I believe that we need
- 01:15:33balance as human beings and I think that
- 01:15:35there's just so much more to this life
- 01:15:38than just being like well I don't like
- 01:15:40you it's like okay well maybe there's
- 01:15:43something in that person that you don't
- 01:15:44like that actually reflects something
- 01:15:46that you don't like about yourself but
- 01:15:48you're not ready for that conversation
- 01:15:49you know some people just aren't and
- 01:15:51that's totally fine but I am that person
- 01:15:53like put yeah I love it I really do yeah
- 01:15:58yeah yeah I can sense that I could tell
- 01:16:00that and it's it's fun to watch I I
- 01:16:03think it's it's really meaningful to see
- 01:16:05in someone you've talked about having
- 01:16:06guardian angels and I wanted to ask you
- 01:16:09when do you feel most connected to your
- 01:16:11guardian angels oh
- 01:16:13um ah I feel like my faith journey is
- 01:16:17very interesting because it was
- 01:16:18something that I was introduced to again
- 01:16:20at a very very young age because I grew
- 01:16:22up in a very religious family my mom was
- 01:16:25kind of the one to break that up for us
- 01:16:27which I'm very thankful for because it
- 01:16:29allowed me the opportunity to kind of
- 01:16:33find it on my own instead of it be
- 01:16:35something that was forced because like
- 01:16:37my mom I remember many times she taught
- 01:16:39me stories you know your grandma would
- 01:16:41just uh call us in we'd be like playing
- 01:16:43outside having the time of our lives
- 01:16:44like kids don't even play outside
- 01:16:45anymore you know but here here there we
- 01:16:48were like playing outside and my mom
- 01:16:49would make us come inside and pray the
- 01:16:51rosary and we'd be like again come on
- 01:16:54Grandma come on Mom you know and and
- 01:16:57what I loved is like as a kid I would
- 01:16:59have so many questions like I'd tell my
- 01:17:01mom like you know sometimes when I was
- 01:17:03little this is very funny my grandma
- 01:17:05would sometimes be like kind of
- 01:17:06insinuate like oh you know people don't
- 01:17:08go to church or like they're on the
- 01:17:10they're on the bad list the naughty list
- 01:17:11right and and so my mom would be like
- 01:17:14you know how grandma is you know we're
- 01:17:15gonna go to yosito's house you know
- 01:17:17which was like to go to church we're
- 01:17:18gonna go to this I'm like why doesn't
- 01:17:20diocito come to our house like why can't
- 01:17:22he come to our house like what's this
- 01:17:24concept of us having to go to him why
- 01:17:26can't he come to us like challenging
- 01:17:28these things all the time and I just
- 01:17:31remember just thinking like no
- 01:17:32spirituality is a mutual connection with
- 01:17:34sores with greater sores and for me my
- 01:17:37connection with God is just like
- 01:17:40yeah like he loves me regardless there's
- 01:17:43times where I pray and I mean some of
- 01:17:44the stuff that I share I'm just like
- 01:17:46you know what I mean you know what I
- 01:17:48mean you know and I think that that's
- 01:17:51like I love that for me that I was able
- 01:17:53to discover that that faith and and I
- 01:17:55feel so protected and in some of the
- 01:17:57moments that are so simple you know I
- 01:18:00mean not just like in my moments of deep
- 01:18:03like confusion or like pain when I am
- 01:18:06challenged to like surrender that
- 01:18:07control right when I say I practice like
- 01:18:09go let God but even just like when I'm
- 01:18:11by myself in my house like making my
- 01:18:13coffee and I'm playing like I don't know
- 01:18:16a certain song will come on like on my
- 01:18:18playlist and I'm just like that's my
- 01:18:20grandpa I know it like I know it you
- 01:18:22know or today a big thing for me is uh
- 01:18:25is dragonflies I have a dragonfly tattoo
- 01:18:27and they they definitely represent
- 01:18:30something very significant for me and I
- 01:18:32mean for months now on the way here
- 01:18:37[Music]
- 01:18:40I love that that's beautiful and it's
- 01:18:42it's wonderful to have these
- 01:18:44notes and signs and you know moments
- 01:18:47that make us feel aligned we all need
- 01:18:50them in in some capacity and I think we
- 01:18:52we all look for them because we're all
- 01:18:55trying to feel connected to something
- 01:18:57higher and bigger and
- 01:18:59more powerful than ourselves whatever it
- 01:19:01may be whether it's in the world or
- 01:19:03whether it's beyond and it's it's nice
- 01:19:05hearing about your spiritual journey and
- 01:19:07how it's evolved because
- 01:19:09it is so personal and there's a
- 01:19:11beautiful
- 01:19:13there's a beautiful statement I believe
- 01:19:14it's
- 01:19:15I believe it was said by David Lynch
- 01:19:18and he said that prayer is you talking
- 01:19:21to God and meditation is God talking to
- 01:19:24you and I've always loved that that idea
- 01:19:26of the god of God Universe whatever you
- 01:19:29call it but the idea that prayer is when
- 01:19:31you're speaking and meditation is when
- 01:19:33you're listening yes and that
- 01:19:35communication is mutual as you said it's
- 01:19:37this two-way connection it's not a one
- 01:19:40way as it's often portrayed or comes
- 01:19:43across and I really find that as well
- 01:19:45that sometimes my job is to stop talking
- 01:19:48and just to listen yep and so often
- 01:19:50we're just talking too much or trying to
- 01:19:52figure it all out or problem solving and
- 01:19:54that listening ability is so lost in the
- 01:19:58art of communication a hundred percent
- 01:20:01yeah yeah it's it's that's why I said
- 01:20:03you know everything is always a
- 01:20:04conversation I think that's how we
- 01:20:06should look at even things I can't talk
- 01:20:08back to me my my dogs that live in my
- 01:20:10mom's house you know I love them so much
- 01:20:12there is a mutual love they can't
- 01:20:13necessarily talk back to me but I listen
- 01:20:15I take the time to like connect with
- 01:20:17them you know know but I think it's
- 01:20:19about being that type of you know
- 01:20:20intentional
- 01:20:22type of person I guess when when you're
- 01:20:24having these daily practices and that's
- 01:20:27why I think when I like meditate like
- 01:20:29there was like a shift instead of saying
- 01:20:30what do I want what what do I feel right
- 01:20:33now it's like what do you want like it's
- 01:20:35sir you have to ask your subconscious
- 01:20:37you have to bring parts of yourself
- 01:20:39full word you know to really receive
- 01:20:43what that is because our psyche's like
- 01:20:45is crazy there's certain things that I
- 01:20:48have unpacked in therapy I was like oh
- 01:20:50I didn't even remember that that
- 01:20:52happened you know like and it's it's
- 01:20:54because our minds are very powerful our
- 01:20:57minds were designed to protect us right
- 01:21:00like our human body
- 01:21:02wants to survive and avoid death at all
- 01:21:06costs but our spirit needs death our
- 01:21:11spirit needs death the the thing of
- 01:21:13giving up something to then have a
- 01:21:16rebirth of something else to gain
- 01:21:18something else like you have to be
- 01:21:21willing to do that you know like there's
- 01:21:24so many parts of myself that I think you
- 01:21:27know I I have kind of like resolved with
- 01:21:31and it's beautiful to look back at like
- 01:21:33that's that skin that I needed to shed
- 01:21:35that's a beautiful thing but there's
- 01:21:37like you know Parts in that that
- 01:21:39probably people I grew up with people
- 01:21:41that knew me to be a certain way that
- 01:21:43was more beneficial for them
- 01:21:46um would probably be like she changed
- 01:21:48yeah like no I did I actually did I did
- 01:21:52change you know and that I don't think
- 01:21:54that's a bad thing so it's funny how
- 01:21:56yeah Spirit can need something different
- 01:21:58than like what our body is like designed
- 01:22:00for and you're like no no it's not the
- 01:22:02literal thing it's it's the shedding you
- 01:22:05know it's the shedding that needs to
- 01:22:06happen yeah
- 01:22:07thank you it's been such a joy talking
- 01:22:09to you today and I'm so glad that we've
- 01:22:11finally connected in this way and we've
- 01:22:13got to share your abundant energetic
- 01:22:16spirit with everyone through this so
- 01:22:18much episode and I'm hoping that
- 01:22:19everyone who listens to it can kind of
- 01:22:20you know walk away feeling that
- 01:22:24positive energy through your voice
- 01:22:26through your energy into them as well
- 01:22:27because I really feel like it's come
- 01:22:29across for me too like you just yeah you
- 01:22:31just have this spark and I'm hoping that
- 01:22:34everyone today got to feel a bit of it
- 01:22:35but we end every on-purpose episode with
- 01:22:37our final five which is a question that
- 01:22:40has to be answered in one word to one
- 01:22:42sentence maximum so Becky G these are
- 01:22:45your final five uh the first question is
- 01:22:47what is the best advice you've ever
- 01:22:49heard or received you miss a hundred
- 01:22:52percent of the shots you never take um I
- 01:22:55think that's one sentence right yeah
- 01:22:57yeah that's good I was like it's
- 01:22:58supposed to really be one word that
- 01:23:00works no no one way to one sentence is
- 01:23:02fine uh question number two what is the
- 01:23:04worst advice you've ever heard or
- 01:23:05received
- 01:23:07I don't know I'm that per I'm that
- 01:23:08positive Patty I'm like even those
- 01:23:10negative things they're a positive thing
- 01:23:12ah I would say
- 01:23:14um
- 01:23:15just make sure you really think about it
- 01:23:18it's like no you could overthink it yeah
- 01:23:20that's what I would say just make sure
- 01:23:22you really think about it really think
- 01:23:23about what you're saying yeah or really
- 01:23:25think about you know what it is that
- 01:23:26you're asking for no no I trust my gut
- 01:23:29I'd say probably that's the worst advice
- 01:23:30you should really think about that yeah
- 01:23:32got it
- 01:23:34uh question number three
- 01:23:37what is something you're currently
- 01:23:39trying to unlearn
- 01:23:42definitely people pleasing what's the
- 01:23:44hardest part about giving it up
- 01:23:46uh it's just second nature you don't
- 01:23:49even realize like how you practice that
- 01:23:51on a daily basis you know like I said
- 01:23:53growing up in this industry just it it I
- 01:23:56feel like there's a lot of child stars
- 01:23:58that are set up to not be very
- 01:24:01successful as adults who are trying to
- 01:24:03take agency over their own life
- 01:24:05and so uh just knowing that like your
- 01:24:07feelings matter how you feel matters and
- 01:24:10also not everybody needs to participate
- 01:24:12in that mm-hmm and that even if you
- 01:24:16spend your whole life trying to please
- 01:24:18everyone chances are they'll still be
- 01:24:20upset with you yeah for something else
- 01:24:22yeah and again maybe it has more to do
- 01:24:24with them than it does you so totally
- 01:24:26yeah great all right question number
- 01:24:29four
- 01:24:30what's something that you used to value
- 01:24:33that isn't important anymore
- 01:24:36um
- 01:24:37I would say like the Optics
- 01:24:39of what it is to
- 01:24:41OK the Limelight
- 01:24:42like going back to like that thing that
- 01:24:45like oh everybody needs to like you and
- 01:24:47like you know you gotta you gotta Feed
- 01:24:49the Beast or whatever I don't I don't
- 01:24:52think I really value that anymore I
- 01:24:54value like my my personal peace more
- 01:24:57than anything else I like that yeah
- 01:25:00beautiful Fifth and final question if
- 01:25:03you could create one law that everyone
- 01:25:05in the world had to follow what would it
- 01:25:07be oh that everybody
- 01:25:09practiced and had access to some form of
- 01:25:13therapy yeah I'd love for to be able to
- 01:25:15help that happened yes yeah the access
- 01:25:18to to Resource I think is is very
- 01:25:21crucial but I think I would make that
- 01:25:24like immediate like starting today sign
- 01:25:27on the dotted line like I think we all
- 01:25:29deserve safe spaces
- 01:25:31I don't think we have enough of them
- 01:25:34well said Becky G everyone thank you so
- 01:25:37much Maggie for having so much presence
- 01:25:40openness vulnerability with us here
- 01:25:43today and everyone who's been listening
- 01:25:45and watching make sure you tag me and
- 01:25:46Becky with your favorite moments I love
- 01:25:48seeing what stuck with you maybe what's
- 01:25:51helped you maybe something you're gonna
- 01:25:52pass on to a friend because you know
- 01:25:54they need to hear it I know Becky and I
- 01:25:56would love to see that please make sure
- 01:25:58you do that and Becky thank you so much
- 01:25:59I can't wait for Evan to go and stream
- 01:26:01let's get us right now uh it's available
- 01:26:03if you're listening right now you can go
- 01:26:05stream right right now so go to
- 01:26:07everywhere you listen to music uh and go
- 01:26:10and listen in but thank you so much
- 01:26:11Becky thank you I really appreciate you
- 01:26:13so much thank you so much if you love
- 01:26:15this episode you'll really enjoy my
- 01:26:18episode with Selena Gomez on befriending
- 01:26:21your inner critic and how to speak to
- 01:26:23yourself with more compassion my fears
- 01:26:26are only going to continue to show me
- 01:26:29what I'm capable of the more that I face
- 01:26:32my fears the more that I feel I'm
- 01:26:34gaining strength I'm gaining wisdom and
- 01:26:37I just want to keep doing that
- Becky G
- cultural identity
- self-growth
- therapy
- authenticity
- music career
- spirituality
- family influence
- people pleasing
- boundaries