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so you know the feeling of a downward
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spiral where one bad thing happens and
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then some more bad things happen or
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where you're not really doing so great
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and this creates struggle and that
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struggle creates more struggle and more
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struggle and we get stuck in this cycle
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and it's so hard to pull ourselves out
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that is the downward spiral right and
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we've all been there well we can also
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get caught in an upward spiral where
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things just keep getting better and
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better where one good thing leads to the
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next and the next and you get caught in
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a winning streak in this video I'm going
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to tell you exactly how to put yourself
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on that positive upward spiral
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trajectory and how to stay there so you
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can keep going up and up and life will
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just keep getting better and
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better hey friends welcome back if
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you're new here my name is jills and I
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help women step into their power tap
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into their divine feminine and become
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their best self so if that's something
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you want to do you should subscribe and
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stick around and in case you want more
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from me don't forget to check out my
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deep dive feminine energy course or any
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of my other digital products like my
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bestselling notion templates they will
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all be linked down below so I read this
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book recently called the winner effect
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and the author Dr Ian Robertson says
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something very important those who win
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tend to keep winning and those who lose
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tend to keep losing and this is why we
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can either get caught in an upward
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spiral or a downward one are we going to
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keep winning or are we going to keep
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losing what trajectory are we on now I'm
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going to talk about how to actually put
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ourselves on that upper trajectory in a
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bit but first it really helps to
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understand this concept more in depth
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now in the book The author uses the
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example of M Tyson and if you don't know
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who Mike Tyson is he's just like a
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really famous really good pro boxer so
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in 1995 after he went to prison for a
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little bit he was back on the boxing
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scene right but what his managers did
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was that they set up his first two
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fights with boxers who were like not as
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good where it would be a pretty much
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hopefully guaranteed win and in Mike
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Tyson's first boxing match and His
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official comeback he knocked out his
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first opponent in only 89 seconds and he
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dominated the next guy in the next match
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too and what did this do this started
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him on the trajectory of a positive
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upward spiral and started him off on a
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winning streak and his managers they did
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this strategically they wanted him to
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get into the habit of winning they
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wanted him to get into the mindset of
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winning they wanted him to feel what
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winning felt like before fighting more
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challenging opponents and it worked the
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author also talks about this other
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experiment that was done with mice now
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animal experiments are always like
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ethically questionable and this one's
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kind of sad I will say but the results
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are still really interesting and I think
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that we can learn a lot from it okay so
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scientists put two mice in a cage to
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fight and I don't exactly know how they
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got them to fight but somehow they got
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them to fight they instigated a fight
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except here's the catch though one of
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the mice was drugged they were sedated
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so basically that drugged Mouse had no
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chance of winning and they of course
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lost and the not drugged Mouse they won
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but here's what's so interesting though
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these scientists they kept operating
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this little mouse fight club and the
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initial Mouse who won that fight they
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for the most part kept on winning they
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had a statistically much higher rate of
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success but that other Mouse the one
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that initially lost because they were
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drugged they kept on losing they had a
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much higher rate of failure and this is
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because winning actually changes the
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chemistry in your body it increases
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certain hormones it increases your
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dopamine it increases your confidence
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but the short of it is is that when we
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win we are more likely to keep winning
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and this is called the winner effect
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even though a lot of these examples are
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about like physically fighting and
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winning we can still use this concept to
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help us win at life and hop on that
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upward spiral so that's what we're going
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to dive into how to take this concept
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and use it to create the life we want
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and there are three big points that we
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need to talk about number one give
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yourself the chance to win so if the
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more we win the more we win then we need
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to make sure that we are setting goals
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that are actually achievable that we
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have goals that we can actually win at
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for example if your goal is to be a
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billionaire that's great but is that
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goal actually achievable at this point
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in your life probably not or if your
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goal is to get fit and so you say I'm
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going to go to the gym every single day
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no days off is that actually
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achievable not likely or saying I'm
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never going to have any sugar ever again
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probably not very achievable you're
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likely to lose or let's things smaller
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if your goal for the day is to check off
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20 things on your to-do list are you
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actually going to win at that like is
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that an achievable goal for me I don't
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know 20 sounds like a lot so probably
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not and therefore you will feel like a
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loser the important thing here is that
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if you feel like a winner that is when
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you will get those winning effects and
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if you feel like a loser that is when
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you will get those losing effects and so
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therefore if you set yourself up for
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failure by setting goals that are just
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like not achievable that are nearly
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impossible then you will always fall
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short and little by little every single
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day your subconscious will think I'm a
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loser I'm a failure I'm not good enough
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I never do what I set out for myself I
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don't trust myself I'm not confident in
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myself or when you have those big Mega
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goals you have to be able to break them
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down into smaller achievable goals so
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for example let's say you have a really
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big goal of having your own business
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that makes a million dollars a year
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that's a really good goal but if you're
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just completely fixated on the end goal
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of being a millionaire business owner
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then every single little tiny step along
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the way is going to feel so small and so
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inconsequential and almost like almost
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like a failure almost like you're not
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doing good enough setting up your first
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janky little website getting your
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business license getting your very first
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client you know making your first $100
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seems so silly when you compare that to
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the ultimate goal of millionaire
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business owner it gives you the feeling
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that you're kind of failing even when
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you're not you're on your way there has
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to be little achievable goals along the
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way that you can win at and that is how
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you reach those big Mega goals the
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author says in the book the people who
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actually end up achieving the most tend
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to set moderately challenging targets
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for themselves key word is moderately
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and he says that setting your targets
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too high can actually have disabling
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effects or in other words give you those
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loser like effects so if you want to
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start spiraling upward you have to give
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yourself the chance to win or let's say
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you're having a rough time you're in a
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rut you're really struggling to get back
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on that upward spiral you have to allow
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yourself to win at something so yeah
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maybe you do really need to write that
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20,000 Worthy that you have to finish by
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the end of the year but if you're
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totally depressed rotting in bed then a
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better goal might be to just get up take
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a shower or wash your hair maybe put on
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a cute outfit or maybe the goal is just
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to make your bed and clean your room
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because that is something that you can
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actually win at and once you start
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winning once you start achieving even if
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it's little that's when that upward
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motion starts and once you're caught in
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that upward motion it's easy to keep
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going and Life starts moving in the
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direction you want winners tend to keep
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winning so don't set yourself up to lose
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number two embrace the winner mindset
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now here's the thing with winning when
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we're playing a basketball game or a
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tennis match it's really obvious whether
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we win or lose it's clearcut black and
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white but in The Game of Life everything
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is subjective in life winning is
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subjective and for the most part it's
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just based off of our own perception and
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this is important we can use this to our
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advantage again when you feel like you
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win that's when you get those winning
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effects and so when we win that's when
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we stay motiv motivated and excited
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that's when we keep taking action and
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keep showing up that's when we keep
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believing in ourselves and thinking
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positively and because we keep showing
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up because we're more confident we make
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more progress towards our goals and the
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more progress we make towards our goals
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the more we feel like a winner and on
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and on and on and up and up we go on
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that upward spiral so there are some
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things in life that'll just feel like a
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really clear win you get that huge
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promotion at work or you go on the most
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amazing first date ever or after working
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out for a few months you look at
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yourself in the mirror and you're like
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whoo who's that or you have one of those
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days where everything is just easy you
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get everything done so quickly and
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you're in bed in your PJs all cozy by
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like 7:00 p.m. and you get to watch your
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favorite show those things are easy to
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see as wins but what about the other
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stuff let's say your boyfriend breaks up
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with you that sucks but also maybe it's
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a win he clearly wasn't the right one
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for you anyways and now he just opened
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up the path for some other amazing
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person to walk into your life maybe you
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tried to start a business and after a
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year you had to close it down that's a
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bummer but also you learn so much in
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that process and next time that you go
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to start your next business you're going
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to be 100 steps ahead of where you
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started last time and that business
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probably wasn't even right for you
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anyway so now you'll create something
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better or heaven forbid let's say you
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get into a car accident the losers
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mindset will think H why me why do I
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have to deal with this I can't believe I
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just got into an accident now I have to
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get my car fixed take it to the shop G
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why can't I ever catch a break the
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Winner's mindset will think I'm alive
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thank goodness for the airbags I'm so
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lucky that I'm okay I'm so great
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grateful that I'm okay that nothing
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serious happened everything always works
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out for me with so many things in life
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you can choose to see things either as a
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win or as a fail and it is purely based
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off of your own perception and your own
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perception will determine whether you
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stay on that winning streak and on that
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upward spiral or if you reroute and
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start on that downward one there's also
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something in Psychology called the
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broaden and build Theory and it
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basically kind of reaffirms what I'm
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saying but in a different way and in
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short it basically says that when we're
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feeling good when we're feel feeling
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positive emotions our mind opens up and
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we're able to notice and take advantage
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of the possibilities around us when we
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think negative thoughts our minds close
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in a sense it tends to think rather
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narrowly on the problem and on that
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negativity and then we can't see the
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possibilities and our lives will suffer
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because of it having that winning
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mindset like noticing all the wins this
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is you looking for the good that is you
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choosing to experience positive emotions
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instead of negative ones this is opening
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up your mind in that positive upward
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Direction and this is what allows for
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more good things to come if you're stuck
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thinking about all of the losses all of
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the fails all of your problems then that
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is what you will keep perpetuating
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because your focus is so narrowly stuck
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on that if you want to rewire your brain
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and stay on that positive upward spiral
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trajectory you have to find and notice
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the winds even if you have to be a
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little bit dulu sometimes because this
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is what's going to bring in more number
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three use the domino effect to your
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advantage now lastly we always have the
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domino effect going on in our life
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always whether whether you realize it or
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not for example you stay up late on your
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phone one night just like scrolling and
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so you go to bed late and then because
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you go to bed late you wake up late and
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tired and because you wake up late and
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tired you rush out the door you don't
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get to make yourself a breakfast you
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don't get to put yourself together and
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look cute and you're grumpy and because
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you're grumpy you have a bad work day
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and because you're tired grumpy and
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feeling stressed from your bad work day
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you decide to skip your evening workout
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and because you skip your evening
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workout you feel bad about yourself and
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because you feel bad about yourself you
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eat some junk food to feel better and
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you just fall into a bad Place mentally
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and because you're feeling so negative
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you just push your friends and your
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family away and you isolate yourself see
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how that one little action of scrolling
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on your phone and staying up late was
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that first Domino that started off that
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downward spiral well the opposite is the
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same let's say you get into the groove
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of waking up on time and working out in
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the morning because you're getting those
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good workouts and you're like oh well I
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should probably start eating better and
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drinking my water so that I can like
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recover from my workouts and so I'm not
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wasting my time at the gym and then
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because you're eating better you're
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drinking more water you're working out
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all of a sudden you start feeling better
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and because you feel better you sleep
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better and because you sleep better you
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wake up more refreshed your skin is much
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more clear your mind is more clear you
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start feeling more confident all of a
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sudden you got a little pep in your step
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you're more positive and because you're
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more positive you're more social and
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people like being around you you're more
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loving you develop better relationships
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and because you're more positive because
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your mind is more clear because you're
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feeling better because you're able to
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develop these better relationships all
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of a sudden your career starts taking
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off and then because your career starts
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taking off you start making all this
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money the domino effect is always
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happening in our life and and that is
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why winners tend to keep winning and
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losers tend to keep losing so be
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strategic about which dominoes you are
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setting off when we accidentally set off
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a negative Domino which we will the
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staying up late scrolling on our phone
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or whatever it is notice that Domino and
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then consciously actively choose to turn
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it around choose to put in place a
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positive one every day when we wake up
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those first dominoes are already
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starting to fall and they're either
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putting us on the upward spiral
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trajectory or the downward one depending
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on which ones you choose there's no
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between so especially in those first
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moments in the morning they are crucial
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do you wake up and immediately start
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scrolling your phone and start comparing
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yourself to all the other girls that
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you're seeing on the internet and then
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you start thinking negative thoughts
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about yourself if so that first Domino
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is already falling and already leading
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you down that downward spiral but maybe
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if you wake up read a few pages from an
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inspiring book make your bed put on a
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cute outfit eat some breakfast with
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protein you're hitting down those first
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dominoes that are causing you to move
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upward every action you take every
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thought you think is a little Domino and
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those dominoes are always hitting the
00:13:03
next one setting off a chain reaction so
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if you want to stay on that upward
00:13:06
spiral recognize the dominoes that you
00:13:09
are knocking down that is it for this
00:13:11
video I personally found this topic
00:13:13
really interesting and I hope that you
00:13:15
guys found it interesting too and got
00:13:16
some value from it I'd love to know your
00:13:18
thoughts in the comments below but
00:13:19
besides that thank you so much for
00:13:21
watching thank you so much for staying
00:13:22
until the very end and we will see you
00:13:24
next time in our next video bye
