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today I'm going to summarize another
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book on psychology called persuasion
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honestly the more books I read on
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psychology the more I get scared because
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it makes me realize how easy it is to
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manipulate someone the scariest part is
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that most of these tactics you will hear
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in this video are so hidden that your
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conscious mind can't catch them it
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happens subconsciously they are a bit
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like a magic pill you give it to someone
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before you talk to them and they start
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believing you or behaving differently
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they feel like they are in control and
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made a conscious decision but they are
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not
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for example in an experiment they sent a
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very good looking guy a model type of
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guy to approach a random woman in the
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shopping mall and ask for their number
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on a date
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now giving your phone number to a
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complete stranger is a risky thing to do
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and of course the guy got a lot of no's
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but he got quite some yeses whenever he
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approached a woman in front of a
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particular store can you guess what type
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of store it was
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no it wasn't a perfume store or a
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chocolate store
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it was a flower store
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if you look at it flowers are related to
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romance and it subconsciously impacted
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their behavior and caused them to give
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out their number
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after the experiment they asked the
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participants who gave their numbers if
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the store had anything to do with their
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decision all responded of course not I
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made a conscious decision to give my
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number
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in a similar experiment again a guy
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approached a woman on the street asking
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for a date this time researchers were
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testing how the results would change
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depending on the object the guy was
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carrying in his hand at the time he
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approached the women
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there was one particular object that
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brought a lot of yeses can you guess
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what that object was
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well it was a guitar case
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let's look at another example from the
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business world there's an interesting
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experiment with an online furniture
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store researchers directed half of the
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buyers to a landing page that had soft
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clouds on the background image and half
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of the buyers were directed to a page
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that had pictures of coins
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people who had clouds as a background
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picture focused their attention on
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choosing Furniture based on softness and
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comfort and the people who saw coins is
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the first thing when they visited the
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page focused on price and tried to find
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the cheapest options after the
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experiment when they were asked if the
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coins or clouds played a role in their
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decision all of them laughed and said no
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they said they are all independent and
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conscious people clouds or coins had
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absolutely no impact on them
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okay so far both of the experiments were
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related to some visual objects how about
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using words can we create the same
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effect but with words
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the answer is yes and here's how A
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salesperson was failing to sell his 75
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000 product whenever he would mention
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the price many clients would try to
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negotiate and when they couldn't get the
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lower price they wanted they would just
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walk away this way the salesperson would
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lose a lot of clients then he made a
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small change during his presentation
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before mentioning the price he would
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jokingly say well obviously I can't
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charge you a million dollars for this
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product
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whenever he mentioned this sentence
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almost no one tried to negotiate the
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price or complained that 75 000 was a
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lot of money why because 75 000 seemed
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quite a small amount compared to a
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million dollars and yes I absolutely
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agree with you that jokingly mentioning
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a million dollars has nothing to do with
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the 75 000 product and it shouldn't
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change people's behavior but that's not
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the reality the reality is that
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subconsciously it impacted people's
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perception of the price
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in an experiment marketers wanted the
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customers to test a new energy drink to
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give them feedback many people didn't
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agree which is kind of understandable
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because the product was new and this
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could create resistance so marketers
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tried another tactic this time before
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making the request they asked people if
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they considered themselves to be
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adventurous people many of them said yes
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they were adventurous and then when they
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were offered to try out the new energy
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drink they agreed
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I would like to give you an example that
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happened to me personally once I was
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meeting with a banker and somehow we
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ended up talking about the investment
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products they were offering he described
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a few products but none of them got my
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attention so I was half listening and
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half thinking about when I was going to
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leave but then before describing the
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next product he said something that made
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me wake up lean forward and listen
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carefully he said the next product I'm
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going to talk about is the one that I
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would recommend even to my mother to
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invest in as soon as I heard this
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sentence I felt strong trust towards him
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and the product probably not on purpose
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but he activated one of the most
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powerful persuasion principles that
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Robert cialdini calls Unity
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Unity refers to a shared identity that
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both the influencer and the influency
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are part of the idea that we share an
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identity with someone else causes us to
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want to say yes to them to a much
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greater extent than to someone who's
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outside that unit
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if a communicator can show that he or
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she belongs to the same group as we are
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before delivering the message then we
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are much more open to cooperating with
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that person or believing him or her let
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me give an example a big concern of
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investors has always been what happens
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to Buffett's firm Berkshire Hathaway
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when he's no longer in charge in a
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letter to shareholders regarding
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succession plans Buffett wrote I will
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tell you what I would say to my family
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today if they asked me about berkshire's
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future with that language Buffett was
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highly convincing because he said he was
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advising readers in the same way he
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would advise a family member the most
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powerful form of unity is in the family
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people go to Great Lengths even risking
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their lives to help close relatives
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Robert shows you how you can use family
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driven Unity even when you are trying to
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influence people who aren't your own
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relatives
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in one of his college classes Robert
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wanted students and their parents to
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fill out a questionnaire student
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compliance was always very high but
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parents typically responded at a far
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lower rate often below 20 percent one
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small tweak increased the parent
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response rate to 97 percent
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what was the simple tweak Robert said he
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would give the students an extra point
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on one test if their parents completed
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the survey one point on one test in a
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semester-long course is an
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inconsequential benefit it would be
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unlikely to have any impact at all on
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the student's final grade but by
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invoking the concept of helping a family
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member he increased the response rate
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five-fold from poor to nearly perfect
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implications of these studies and
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examples are huge this means if I can
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shift your attention to let's say
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helpfulness fairness or romance before I
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deliver my message then at that moment
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you become a helpful fair or romantic
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person in other words by using the
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persuasion tactics I can change your
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identity in that particular situation I
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can change who you are I can change how
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you perceive yourself and I can change
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how you perceive me and my message
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this next experiment is pretty
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impressive and will explain why we get
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influenced so easily in Belgium
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researchers brought a group of people
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together and showed them a picture of a
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household object but with a different
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background image they divided the people
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into three groups in the background
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picture of the first group there was a
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single person standing alone the second
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group's background picture had two
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people standing next to each other
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separately finally in the third group's
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background picture there were two people
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standing shoulder to shoulder
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now during the experiment researchers
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stood up and accidentally dropped
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several items on the floor in order to
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find out who of these three groups would
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get down on their knees and help
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both from the first and second groups
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only 20 percent of people helped but the
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results were three times higher in the
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third group who had a background image
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of two people standing shoulder to
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shoulder
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now this isn't the most interesting part
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of the experiment
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the most interesting part is that the
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subjects of this experiment were only 18
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month old children who had no logical
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reasoning and could barely talk
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this experiment proves how primitive and
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fundamental this process is and why
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subconsciously every single one of us
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can easily be influenced regardless of
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the level of logic or intelligence
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for example research shows that if you
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simply put a picture of a thinking man
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in the corner of the screen while they
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do a task they become more analytical
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and make fewer mistakes or if you put
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the picture of a person winning a race
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then they produce more it positively
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affects their results
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now let's see in real life how we can
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apply what we learned from these
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experiments I have six practical tips
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for you but first I'd like to give you
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one analogy that will summarize
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everything we covered so far and also
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make it very easy for you to understand
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the central lesson of these experiments
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imagine you are planting a seed if you
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want the seed to grow and bear fruits
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you need to do two things right number
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one choose a good quality seed number
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two prepare the soil right if the soil
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isn't prepared well then the seed isn't
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going to grow regardless of how good
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quality your seed is using this analogy
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we can say that the seed is the message
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you use to convince others and this book
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and all the experiments and examples you
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have heard so far are about preparing
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the soil
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what you say to persuade is important
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but what you put in front of your
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message before it's delivered is
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sometimes more important in other words
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your seed is important but first you
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have to make sure that the soil is
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brought to the right condition to grow
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that seed you saw this yourself in all
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the experiments there was always a
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sentence a request or a picture that
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came before the message was delivered
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which completely changed people's
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behavior
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all right let's move on to those six
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tips I mentioned earlier number one if
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you are giving away a free product to
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your clients you might consider giving
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the product to their family members
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instead of the clients themselves
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that can be more effective remember the
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experiment with students and parents and
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how one point increased their response
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rate
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number two let's say you have a product
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and you need your clients help to
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improve it instead of saying what is
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your feedback or what is your opinion on
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this product you can say what's your
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advice on this product
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the difference seems small but the
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effect is quite big because the word
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advice creates Unity it creates a
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togetherness effect the word advice
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makes people take one step forward
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towards you and the word opinion or
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feedback makes them take one step
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backward away from you as you have
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probably already guessed this one is
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related to the concept of unity remember
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the Warren Buffett example and my
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meeting with the banker
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number three if you're planning to ask
00:11:12
for a salary raise at work then do it at
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a time when you have received nice
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feedback from customers or when you have
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achieved something great at work this is
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the time when the results of your great
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work are in the center of attention
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this tip is related to the energy drink
00:11:27
experiment
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number four if you're a student and
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trying to convince other students to
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donate to some cause you can mention
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that you are also a student and that
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would automatically activate the unity
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principle and increase donations
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again this one is also related to the
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unity principle
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number five decorate your environment
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according to your goals until reading
00:11:51
books like this one I used to believe
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that it was stupid to write motivational
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phrases or words on office walls you've
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probably seen such phrases such as
00:11:59
courage success winning quality customer
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first
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Etc it turns out that these things
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actually work and impact us
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subconsciously so think about what the
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things are that you're trying to achieve
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and how you can decorate your room to
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put you in that state of mind
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for example when my goal was to make ten
00:12:17
thousand dollars per month I went on
00:12:18
Amazon and bought a fake ten thousand
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dollar stack and put it on my desk to
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remind me of my goal when I wanted to
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invest more I printed out a phrase that
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said make money work for you framed it
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as a picture and put it on my desk
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you can also do small things such as
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changing the background picture on your
00:12:35
phone or computer you can listen to
00:12:37
different types of music according to
00:12:39
the type of work you're doing if the
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task requires you to be highly focused
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just Google music for focus and listen
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to it while working on that task for
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example before I start writing scripts
00:12:49
such as this one I always watch a video
00:12:52
from my favorite YouTuber I like his
00:12:54
videos because they're high quality and
00:12:56
he can explain complex Topics in a very
00:12:59
simple way just passively playing some
00:13:02
of his videos before I start writing
00:13:03
scripts puts me into the right mindset
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where I'm also focused on quality and
00:13:08
simplicity
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number six bring the person to the right
00:13:12
mindset before you deliver your message
00:13:14
let me explain with an example once I
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wanted to convince one of my colleagues
00:13:18
to do things differently in our project
00:13:20
both of us knew that this change would
00:13:22
be great for the project however he
00:13:24
simply didn't want to do it because it
00:13:25
would mean extra work for him
00:13:27
especially at the time we had a few
00:13:29
other arguments in previous days so he
00:13:31
was in a mindset where he would just
00:13:33
disagree with whatever I suggested
00:13:35
so after two failed attempts to convince
00:13:38
him I tried a tactic from this book and
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it worked what did I do differently this
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time
00:13:45
well before I opened the topic I said
00:13:47
this I said
00:13:48
do you remember three months ago you
00:13:51
suggested a change that I disagreed with
00:13:53
but since it was for the benefit of the
00:13:55
project I agreed to do it
00:13:56
he said yes
00:13:58
I said okay today thanks to that change
00:14:01
you suggested we have great improvements
00:14:04
in our project at the time I was against
00:14:06
it but I agreed to what you suggested
00:14:08
because it was best for the project it
00:14:11
wasn't about you nor about me it was
00:14:13
about what is best for the project
00:14:16
now today I'm asking you for a change
00:14:18
and we both know that it's the best
00:14:20
thing for the project
00:14:22
so what do you say we both put our egos
00:14:23
aside and implement the change I'm
00:14:25
suggesting
00:14:26
he thought a little bit and said yes and
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that was the end of the story
00:14:30
the reason this worked was that I
00:14:32
shifted his mindset from arguing to
00:14:35
doing what was best for the project
00:14:37
think about your life you probably have
00:14:39
also had similar situations what are the
00:14:42
things you can say or do before you
00:14:44
deliver your message to bring the person
00:14:46
to the right mindset so that he or she
00:14:48
would be more receptive to your message
00:14:49
do you need the person to be fair
00:14:51
romantic honest or cooperative Define
00:14:55
what it is that you want find a sentence
00:14:58
or thing that would put the person in
00:14:59
that mindset and then deliver your
00:15:01
message
00:15:02
and of course do it ethically not just
00:15:05
this tactic but all of them you might
00:15:07
ask what will happen if I don't do it
00:15:09
ethically
00:15:10
for example what would happen if you
00:15:12
decide to use them unethically in your
00:15:13
company against your customers
00:15:15
well your employees will see what you
00:15:17
are doing and they will start using the
00:15:18
same sneaky techniques against their own
00:15:20
customer which is you
00:15:23
so it's highly likely to backfire
00:15:25
one more thing
00:15:27
always keep in mind that you are not
00:15:29
immune to such tactics and can be easily
00:15:31
influenced for example a friend or
00:15:34
colleague might mention a small favor
00:15:35
they did for you before they ask for a
00:15:38
big favor mentioning the small favor
00:15:40
will put you in a mindset where you will
00:15:42
feel a strong urge to help them back
00:15:44
helping others who helped us is deeply
00:15:47
coded into our DNA and it's very hard to
00:15:50
fight against it if the favor they ask
00:15:52
is equal to the favor they did for us
00:15:54
then all is good but sometimes they use
00:15:57
their small favor as bait to get you to
00:15:59
agree to something much larger
00:16:02
so in situations don't give an answer
00:16:04
right away take your time
00:16:06
tell them that you'll think about it and
00:16:07
let them know your decision
00:16:09
if you rush it you are highly likely to
00:16:11
agree to their request and then regret
00:16:14
it
00:16:14
this has happened to me personally
00:16:16
multiple times I have agreed to do
00:16:19
things that I regretted later
00:16:21
finally my goal with this video was
00:16:23
number one to increase awareness about
00:16:25
the weaknesses every single one of us
00:16:27
possesses so that we can protect
00:16:29
ourselves and number two show you ways
00:16:32
you can apply them ethically to your
00:16:34
life job or your business
00:16:36
I hope it was a useful video if you want
00:16:39
to see similar videos to this one then
00:16:40
check out the video you see on your
00:16:42
screen have a great day
